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Sun March 11, 2007
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark March Madness, your bracket sucks...1st prize: one year of Total Fark, 2nd prize: six months of Total Fark and 3rd prize: one month of Total Fark
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Atlantic City agency in charge of doling out casino money to those in need considers the casinos themselves "in need"
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Seventeen-year-old college student thinks Florida governor Charlie Crist is her father
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Germany moves to posthumously strip Hitler's citizenship, meaning he'll need a new passport if he wants to move through Poland again
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Recently discovered hormone may explain why teens are so moody. Listening to My Chemical Romance still unexplained, however
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Why intelligent people tend to be unhappy
source: scribd.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(598)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Nothing says "Tour de Georgia bike race" than breakfast at Waffle House
source: news.mywebpal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
"Randy Gurchin performed mouth-to-snout resuscitation and CPR on Lucy" (with doggie pic)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Vladimir Putin is a very great man and has the unconditional love and support of his people. Right, comrade? Right? Smile
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"A kindergarten teacher known as the 'Critter Lady' and her menagerie including a boa constrictor, turtles, frogs, small mammals and a monster toad were shaken up in a two-car collision"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Aussie teachers now required to be numerate and literate. That includes not banning Shakespeare for mentioning goblins
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
OK, so one of your teenage daughters has been missing for four months. You also notice a 'putrid' smell coming from one of the rooms. Some people would put together 'one' and 'one', but not this family
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The USPS has proposed a "forever stamp" that retains its first-class value when postage rates go up. Photoshop a design for the first "forever stamp"
source: antisectes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brush fire in Orange County, 2 homes destroyed so far, hundreds of people evacuated
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Diver beats off giant humpback whale. It would have been better if it were a sperm whale, but you make your submissions with the stories you have, not the stories you want
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Comedian Richard Jeni commits suicide at age 45. Goodnight, funnyman
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(267)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Woman, twice targeted in murder-for-hire plot, found dead. Cops say death not suspicious
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Times of India)
 
 
 
Cop goes berserk and kills five fellow officers, just because they tried to sodomize him while on duty
source: timesofindia.indiatimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Old skool: "Is there a doctor in the house" New skool: "Are there any ActionScript programmers in the room?" SF coffee houses becoming the new place to run a business
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(680 News)
 
 
 
Off-duty cop gives his radar gun to a friend so he can clock how fast the cop's new snowmobile really was. We don't know what the top speed was, but the deceleration was phenomenal
source: 680news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Calculus hasn't changed in 300 years, so there's no need for a new edition of a textbook every couple of years"
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(281)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
College students surprised to have in-dorm pot farm shut down by campus cops
source: herald-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(kos)
 
 
 
Halliburton is moving HQ to Dubai, to get closer to new markets in Iran and Syria
source: dailykos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(203)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Elderly man accidentally steps on accelerator instead of brake as his wife is opening the garage door for him, inadvertently executing a flawless Jersey Divorce
source: myfoxny.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Man gets drunk, decides it will be funny if he calls the cops and taunts them for three hours. "He said we need to try harder to find him. He said he couldn't believe he hasn't been caught yet"
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
European Union wants speed limits on the last bastion of speed, the autobahn
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
One of our favourite farkers goes on vacation
source: office-humour.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(NZ Herald)
 
 
 
Researchers release groundbreaking study that finds that women feel sexier after having sex. Plans followup study to discover if water makes things wetter
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(KABC)
 
 
 
Guy claims he created Spongebob Squarepants eight years before the character was introduced, waits until now to say anything
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Americans are increasingly medicating pets. Your dog wants a Vicodin
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
"A joyous chorus of 'I do' is expected to resound around the world as unprecedented numbers of weddings take place on one of the luckiest days of the century: 7/7/07"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
The first rule of Underground Combat League is that you do not talk about Underground Combat League
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Any article with reference to a historical Viking named Ragnar Hairybreeks is worth your time to read
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
British criminals find a sure fire method of avoiding jail. Don't turn up for the trial
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Starbucks must move out of the imperial palace immediately, and it can no longer be allowed to taint China's national culture"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Mirror.co.uk)
 
 
 
Women comemmorate their weight loss by adopting an animal that weighs the same as what they've lost, adopt a baby hippo at the zoo
source: sundaymirror.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Quit your belly aching: Pulaski County, Indiana had to set their clocks forward two hours this year
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
High school students rush to buy school sports team merchandise before it is banned as politically incorrect
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ballerina
source: houstondance.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Newborn Texas baby kidnapped from hospital found safe in Clovis, New Mexico
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Woman calls police to report naked man on her couch. "The two did not appear to know each other," said Sgt. O'Really
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cool things you can do with a Tesla Coil -- just don't kill yourself
source: techeblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Dethroner)
 
 
 
The worst tattoo job you'll see for a while: alien face on back of the head
source: dethroner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
America gets an "F" in religion
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(598)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Missouri Nazis. I hate Missouri Nazis
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bully beats up and mugs 101 year old woman. "If I was younger I'd have gone after him" she says. (w/video)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Navy commissions USS New Orleans, says like its namesake city, it can take on anything as long as it doesn't involve water
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Security Guy)
 
 
 
On March 15th CBS is launching a massive DDOS attack on corporate networks across America
source: computerworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(nwherald)
 
 
 
If you plan to hire a hitman to kill your son, make sure it isn't an undercover FBI agent first
source: nwherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Washington State embraces the 20th Century, looks to double number of liquor stores open on Sundays
source: seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some ugly-ass human)
 
 
 
Rare ugly-ass banded linsang born at Malaysian zoo (with pic)
source: thestar.com.my   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Remember to set your clocks ahead one hour for daylight savings time
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(WHAS-11)
 
 
 
Four drunks use catfight at Waffle House as subterfuge to sneak out of their $100 meal tab and get into a high-speed chase. No word on how the hell you rack up a $100 tab at Waffle House
source: whas11.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Long island teacher accused of being a witch
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Some Girl)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Roman emperor's sceptre
source: i5.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Texas town hosts it's own version of Whacking Day, complete with rattlesnake eating contest. Homer Simpson and ghost of Barry White unavailable for comment
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Podunk town newspaper)
 
 
 
When refusing to pay for lapdance do you 1) Promise to pay later 2) Run off and hide or C) Drunkenly get in your dilapidated van and drive the mother right into the place?
source: daily-times.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(KTVU Fox 2)
 
 
 
Oakland woman births baby on sidewalk, rips umbilical cord and leaves it for dead. Oakland tag, anybody?
source: ktvu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
On today's edition of 'When cats attack'
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Fire & Rescue getting tired of Applebee's sizzling fajitas
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 


Sat March 10, 2007
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
World's First SciFi Interior Design Firm sets up shop and they'll even redo your can
source: showmescifi.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Man builds energy-saving house with water-filled old wine bottles
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Swedish company proposes burning dead chickens to create electricity. That's fowl
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Wash Post)
 
 
 
Samuel L. Jackson wants the kids to speak English in What
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Queens Chronicle)
 
 
 
Badge saves rookie cop from being stabbed by steak knife-wielding lunatic. Badge given promotion, parade, freedom of city
source: zwire.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Naples News)
 
 
 
Proposed bill requires healthcare workers to report pregnant girls under age 16 to police, or lose their licenses
source: naplesnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(169)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Scientists unveil mathematical blueprint describing the most beautiful women and men in the world. Submitter would get snarky like usual, but damn, it's like looking into a mirror
source: news.independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
James Brown finally buried, reportedly feeling good...in gold coffin
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
Member of Maine legislature introduces a bill that will require graduating high school students to complete at least one college application before receiving their diploma
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(153)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Unemployed getting free massages, makeovers and manicures to boost their self-esteem. Government has two words for people working two menial jobs to make ends meet and whose self esteem is at a low ebb, and they rhyme with 'duck shoe'
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Get your new Jeep today. Options include power windows, anti-lock brakes, air conditioning that randomly spews flames
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Theme: Upcoming Wii games
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Criminal sentenced to life in prison for possession of single marijuana joint to be put back on streets in latest damning proof of liberal judicial activism
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Herald Tribune (SW Florida))
 
 
 
Music teacher loses day job at high school to continue playing in amateur theater production "The Full Monty." "We kind of hold our teachers to a higher moral standard than, say, someone who works for Comcast."
source: tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(NCBuy)
 
 
 
"Honey, who should we invite to our wedding party?" "Oh, sweetie, let me think..... how about 250 street beggars?" "OK"
source: ncbuy.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Pedophile ranks presidential candiadates based on the "cuteness" of their underage daughters. Obama's kids win, yet he doesn't seem happy
source: news.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Hospitals must report superbugs by next year. Starship Troopers on standby
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
When someone stopped to do actual research, it was found that Erin Brockovich's $300+ million lawsuit didn't actually have any basis in.. what's it called.. oh yeah, fact
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(heraldonline.com)
 
 
 
Bad: Being busted for selling pot. Worse: At counseling center. Fark: When you're 8-years-old
source: dwb.heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(NJ.com)
 
 
 
New Jersey Attorney General tells police to falsify DUI arrest reports to work around a bug in breath test equipment
source: nj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Apparently, Russia's just poisoning people at random now
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption this messy fellow
source: escher.mat.ulaval.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man with twenty entries in the Guinness Book of World Records takes a break to go bowling. For 168 hours
source: sciencedaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Parents in uproar after 8th grade health teacher actually discusses sex while teaching sex education. "There's certain things at her age they need to know. But this was a how-to manual"
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Zombie Bin Laden 50 years old today
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Napoleon Bonaparte biography
source: stupidbeaver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
School vandalism is so bad in New Zealand that parents are forced to sleep in their kids' classrooms to stop them being trashed overnight
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(heraldonline.com)
 
 
 
Fearing ski masks have bad rap, man decides to walk around town with one to prove people who wear them aren't out to cause trouble. Hilarity sure to ensue
source: dwb.heraldonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Queensland survey finds that Australian women achieve orgasm more easily without men around. Men who have watched the entire No Man's Land series can see how that might happen
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Man asks his girlfriend to marry him by making a film and showing it at his local cinema
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Island Packet)
 
 
 
Tree-removal company accidentally fells tree onto house after mistaking it for the adjacent empty lot. Oops
source: islandpacket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(13)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Call's to Victoria's 911 emergency line prove that Canadians are just as stupid as Americans. "We've had moms calling to say, 'My son won't eat his dinner'"
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Brits who don't want to sign up to the voluntary ID card system won't be allowed to have a passport. Voluntary system, yeah right
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
The youth of today have eschewed dating in favor of hooking up. "Hooking up is like Thanksgiving for guys. They don't have to do anything to get sex" says one young woman. Pass the potatoes
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(NBC 5i)
 
 
 
Woman takes her car to the car wash, is distressed when an attendant steals it and cleans all four wheels right off it
source: nbc5i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Tired of all the U.S. teacher/student sex scandals, Canada decides to join in
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(DelawareOnline)
 
 
 
MADD decides that publicly supporting the legislator who used his position to get out of a DUI was not such a good idea after all
source: delawareonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Woman calls the police, crying that someone stole her pot plants...again
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
West Virginia teachers ask for 6% pay raise, WV Legislature says no because state can't afford it. Then turn around and give themselves a 33% raise
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(271)
 
(hamptonroads.com)
 
 
 
NC woman sues Dollar Tree after the batteries fall out of the heel of a pair of light-up shoes and end up stuck in her 2-year-old daughter's nose. Wait, what?
source: content.hamptonroads.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(The Canadian)
 
 
 
Mexican university professor says that extraterrestrials walk among us and helped him with several of his medical breakthroughs. Yo quiero creer
source: agoracosmopolitan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Pong with a twist, how coordinated are you?
source: jimmyr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Daily Bulletin)
 
 
 
Being carjacked is bad enough, but when they also take your clothes and leave you naked on the side of the freeway, well, that's just mean
source: dailybulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Chick in France)
 
 
 
Theme: Predict and photoshop the next big celebrity publicity stunt
source: advertising.about.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Mmmm, Rachael Ray
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(297)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Geologists to map the world. Not like we already have a map of the world, or anything
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(183)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Envious of Florida hogging all the nation's stupidity, Vermont residents start keeping alligators as housepets. "They just don't warm up to people," understates reptile rescuer. "They don't ever become friendly"
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Initial investigations prove captured Iraqi al-Qaeda leader isn't actually the Iraqi al-Qaeda leader
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman marries her fiancé, just a few minutes before his cremation
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(WWL TV)
 
 
 
FEMA medical trailers sit idle and empty in New Orleans while the local hospitals are overflowing. The ghost of Brownie still doing a heckuva job
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Google Earth to rename Mount Hitler. Still no word on Pol Pot Pass or Mussolini Meadows
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
If your boss tells you to help get two clients to the airport in time to catch their flight, calling in a bomb threat to delay the departure isn't a good idea
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Ugly ass rare baby tiger born in Davenport, Florida (with so-ugly-its-almost-cute pic)
source: myfoxtampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Record)
 
 
 
"When I looked out the window, I saw Ian holding a saw at the flagpole. He was cursing and shouting, 'There's your f*cking flagpole. Fly your f*cking flag now.' He seemed intoxicated"
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this squinty-eyed beach girl
source: suif.stanford.edu   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
Tour group spotted with abductors. Secretly blinked "h.a.v.i.n.g a g.r.e.a.t t.i.m.e. w.i.s.h y.o.u w.e.r.e h.e.r.e"
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's 'face of Jebus found in an ultrasound of a fetus' story brought to you by Glasgow (with pic of our unborn saviour)
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Some things you can find at your pawn shop: bike rims, some cereal, uranium and... wait, what?
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Town Online)
 
 
 
Cambridge, England invaded by car-eating rats
source: townonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Apparently unaware of what happened to all the previous holders of 'world's oldest person' record, 128-year-old in El Salvador joins them
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Meet Britain's ugliest dog (with photo badness)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
From the "Aw, not this shiat again" department, Georgia to start offering Bible classes in school. ACLU seen sharpening their pitchforks and lighting their torches
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(326)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Cutting your electronic monitoring bracelet off because you had tickets to the Jerry Springer Show is not an excuse that will fly with the judge
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
"The grassy areas outside Birmingham's NEC are not good places to walk right now. When you've got 25,000 dogs visiting over four days, some poop is inevitably going to remain unscooped"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Slater Online)
 
 
 
Americans are no longer the tallest people on Earth. At least not if measured vertically
source: media.www.stateronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(KSL)
 
 
 
Utah Supreme Court rules that the smell of pot being smoked isn't reason enough for police to enter your home without a warrant
source: ksl.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 


Fri March 09, 2007
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Brad Delp of Boston - RIP and just keep on tokin'
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Real Tech News)
 
 
 
Four words: USB-powered office cannon
source: realtechnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Mexican voice-over actors who dub The Simpsons into Spanish are threatening to boycott the cartoon's movie if they are not hired to translate the film due for worldwide release this summer, costing the producers $6.35 worth of net profit
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Twenty three year old teacher has sex with sixteen year old student. Judge lets teacher out with no bail. A cookie if you can you guesses the sex and looks? With pic goodness
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(286)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
Woman sends her parking ticket to a police station, along with unmarked (muffin mix) powder and a note saying she hopes the cops get the flu. What could possibly go wrong?
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
" "
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Not news: Woman gets sued by neighbor. News: For smoking. Fark.com: In her own garden
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Canada slammed for how it treats its Indians. Submitter humbly suggests we just grant them Quebec and solve two problems at once
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this cute couple
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Houston school district to teachers: Could we get those bonuses back, y'all? Houston teachers to school district: Aw, hell no
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Rian.Ru)
 
 
 
Ants in Brazil are chewing images of Jesus Christ and the Virgin Mary on leaves
source: en.rian.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Gal)
 
 
 
Last call for the L.A. Fark party, tonight 7pm at the Cat and Fiddle pub in Hollywood. Drew's gonna be there, good times
source: thecatandfiddle.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
RIAA forcing university students to pay $3000 each to avoid lawsuits. Suck it, largest demographic of music-buying public
source: myfoxkc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(371)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Osama bin Laden turns 50 on Saturday. Insta-shop him a card
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(Some Bukowski)
 
 
 
America's greatest poet and author died thirteen years ago today
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
How many Europeans does it take to change a light bulb? All 490 million of them
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
When trying to unload a car full of stolen goods, try not to do it at the entrance to a police firing range
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Music teacher fired after whacking viola student with bow. Student says she's just glad she wasn't taking piano
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your toaster catches fire while cooking meth. Do you throw baking soda on it? Smother with a blanket? Drive to Walmart to buy a fire extinguisher?
source: azfamily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Ballistics expert who testified in hundreds of cases found to be lying about his credentials, decides to examine a bullet up close and really personal
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(Some Hooker)
 
 
 
Judge rules that it is indeed OK to spend company money on hookers and blow. CEO's everywhere breathe a sigh of relief
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Because "our culture loves to talk about being the victim" a new holiday, "GET OVER IT DAY," has been created to prod people into moving on. Victimization industry expected to decry this attack on their livelihood
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
City fixes spelling error on road sign. After 20 years. After someone finally points out the mistake
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Good: Mother only wants what's best for severely autistic son. Bad: "What's best" includes using small jolt from cattle prod to calm him down
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today is World Kidney Day. If you didn't wake up groggy in a bathtub full of ice, well, you didn't get with the program
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Fat dogs forced into fitness classes. This story has nothing to do with Rosie O'Donnell, but we know that was the first thing that entered your mind
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(tech tree)
 
 
 
Microsoft accuses Google of copyright violation. In other news, a 2:00 p.m. newsconference is scheduled by my kettle to say a thing or two about my pot
source: techtree.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Male TF'er just lost some of his masculinity. Any ideas on how to get it back? DIT
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(673)
 
(Telly)
 
 
 
Farmer falls down drain at health and safety demonstration. "It would be funny if it wasn't so painful," she notes
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Hot American mom wins Mrs. World beauty contest in Russia, friends of her son ask to stay for dinner (SFW)
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
FBI underreported the government's use of the Patriot Act which -- Hold on, someone's knocking at my door
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(379)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Boobies flashed, oral sex demonstrations in front of cameras. Spring break in Cancun? Naw, just another day riding the bus to high school
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Judge reverses decision to let accused child molester visit Disney World, presumably after reading Fark
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Introducing the new $49,500 bed. Yes, bed. No, it will not aid in getting laid, and the woman doesn't come with it, so technically it's just a really big, expensive piece of memory foam crap
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Jedi Mail from the US Postal Service. Can Sith Stamps Be Far Behind?
source: showmescifi.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Wave3 Louisville)
 
 
 
Burglars claim to be police and tie up homeowner. "When the suspects returned to the bathroom, they found Mr. Daniels, now armed and in a shooting stance," say the real police
source: wave3.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(pcworld)
 
 
 
Microsoft says HD Photo's lightweight algorithm causes less damage to photos during compression, with higher-quality images that are half the size of JPEG
source: pcworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Sky.com)
 
 
 
Three dead as cyclone blows ashore in Australia. President Bush immediately blamed for not making country cyclone-proof, evacuating all residents
source: news.sky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
How do you provide public education as a private company, turn a profit, and still pay your CEO millions? Hmmm, let me think
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
If the police ask you why you got that knife, don't reply "It's easier than strangling"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(SB Sun.Com)
 
 
 
If you've lost a rental truck with over three tons of marijuana inside, the California Highway Patrol would like to have a word with you
source: sbsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Iran raises domestic price of gasoline to 43 cents a gallon on news that Eddie Van Halen has entered rehab
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
British man likes to have sex with cars. No, not IN cars, WITH cars. Currently has an eye on a slutty little Corvette
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
$80 Million mega lottery winner: "Money has already made me a liar"
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Army Rangers buy AKs, grenades with bonus money, rob bank to expose war crimes commited by special forces. Wait what?
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Chattanoogan)
 
 
 
They always come in threes: the latest school shooting comes from East Ridge, Tennessee
source: chattanoogan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Film asks why so many women in Guatemala face horrific violence. "It's the fashion here to murder women," says a man in the film. "That, and wide lapels"
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(WNBC.com)
 
 
 
After gunfire rang out, New Jersey authorities say a lockdown procedure at an elementary school worked perfectly. But the guy who was shot, who was trying to get into the school to flee his attacker, begs to differ
source: wnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these sunbathing stars
source: ljplus.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Times Herald Record (NY))
 
 
 
DOT engineers to whiny parents: it's your dumbass kids driving too fast that's the problem, not the roads
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Man driving golf cart has rabbit leap inside cart, followed by large bobcat. Rabbit jumps out leaving bobcat and man inside. Hilarity ensues
source: apnews1.iwon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sled? Check. Dogs? Check. Provisions for conditions in the arctic? Check. Knowing how to read a map? Ummmmm
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(some fit guy)
 
 
 
73% of American youth unfit to serve in military because they are "are morally, intellectually or physically unfit for service"
source: armytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(417)
 
(St. Petersburg Times)
 
 
 
Lady Justice bronze statue installed in front of courthouse. Comments include "Magnificent," "Hideous," and "Where are her nipples?"
source: sptimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Violence in Darfur is caused by global warming. In related news, global warming ran over my dog and is a poor tipper
source: corner.nationalreview.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
GPS 'bait' motorcycles being used to capture organzied theft rings stealing tricked out Harleys at Bike Week in Daytona Beach
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Most people who take illegal drugs do not cause any harm to themselves or anyone else, according to a study that hates America
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(803)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Divorcing couple painting a line down the middle of the house: New hotness: Chainsawing the house down the middle and leaving with your half
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Man who has for the last 10 years been putting messages in bottles and throwing them out to sea has been told to stop in case they wash up and injure someone
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
"If you don't like the way I drive, stay off the boardwalk"
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
"You can walk down a [middle school] hallway at any given minute and see sex offenses happening"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Men who refused to let a woman in labour go to hospital, resulting in the death of her baby, jailed for six years. It's a justice of miscarriage
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Melbourne barmaid charged for serving cleaning fluid to customer. Still no penalty for Fosters
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(International Education)
 
 
 
It only took 63 convictions, 23 license suspensions and two fatal crashes before Maine decided not to let this guy drive anymore
source: bangordailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Teenager "Cheneys" 5-year-old girl in the face with a BB gun because she wouldn't leggo her Legos
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(EurekAlert)
 
 
 
Study finds that hospital equipment is unaffected by cell phone use, so go ahead and return that lawyer's call
source: eurekalert.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Queenslanders shocked they will have to shower to an egg timer. "Shower?" said one nervous resident
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Things that can delay your plane landing at O'Hare: snow, rain, coyotes on the runway ... wait, what?
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Priests will purify a sacred archaeological site to eliminate "bad spirits" after President Bush visits next week
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
High school removes references to deity from yearbook only to pay $8,000 to get them back in after a conservative group threatens to sue
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(NBC 4 columbus)
 
 
 
Two teens arrested for grand theft freight train
source: nbc4i.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
EU to do a doubletake regarding cloned meat
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
The Super Donut is packed with 14 vitamins and minerals. Homer weeps glazed tears of joy
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
At last it's official: scientists say that traveling backwards in time is impossible for human beings, even if you bring your own guns and have done it once before
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(260)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
According to this, female U.S. soldiers have died of dehydration to avoid late night trips to toilet for fear of being raped by male soldiers. Page has links to transcript and video
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(264)
 
(Some Gnu)
 
 
 
Photoshop this gnu and friend
source: bean.plasmator.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
suBliminal ads foUnd to be remarkablY effecTive and OfTen result in people purchAsing Little items, oFten AfteR unKnowingly watching the ads
source: thescotsman.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Storm puts sand from beach into garden. Man decides to shovel it back to beach, gets threatened with £50,000 fine or, even worse, have his wheelbarrow confiscated
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Chief justice of Britain complains that some murderers are serving too long in jail, and some might even *gasp* die there. If you can imagine such a travesty of justice
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich acknowledged he was having an extramarital affair even as he led the charge against President Clinton over the Monica Lewinsky affair. Dumbass beats Obvious for the blue ribbon (or dress)
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(550)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Biologists can't figure out why 850 ducks were found dead in Colorado in January. After exhausting all natural causes, starting to suspect suicide after they realized they were stuck in Colorado in January
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Caption Hugh Hefner laughing with a bunny
source: img180.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 


Thu March 08, 2007
(NZ Herald)
 
 
 
Woman calls emergency services to report burglary, seeks return of stolen plants. Dude... wait what?
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Herald-Citizen)
 
 
 
Tennessee teens find out that Crazy George's ghost is the second worst thing you can be confronted by while vandalizing Crazy George's Bridge
source: herald-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
"Public faith in leaders may be ebbing." Ric Romero and the Obvious tag to co-star in the film adaptation of this article
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
29th annual shortlist of world's weirdest book titles released. 'How Green Were the Nazis?' is the early betting favorite, but 'Fark: How Mass Media Tries to Pass Off Crap as News' seen as a strong write-in candidate
source: books.guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Tampa)
 
 
 
Ah, the school bus. A place for friends to share stories, share laughs, bully kids, and snort cocaine
source: baynews9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Car strikes truck filled with cookies. Fuzzy blue puppet wanted for questioning
source: wfsb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Police officer given Swiss Army knife as retirement gift from colleagues, who then arrest and charge him for "possessing a knife in public without good reason" when it's found in his luggage when he takes a vacation
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Your infant child won't stop crying. Do you A) give the kid a bottle, B) check for a wet diaper, or C) spray Lysol in its face until it does stop crying? Permanently
source: wtkr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Some 2007 world's richest billionaire power rankings for you all to argue over
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Jesus Christ linked to Italian mafia. Jesus
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Brazilians waxed over Bush appearance
source: kvii.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
Simpsons movie premiere could be held in Springfield
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Girl, 14, serves pot brownies at her birthday party. Submitter has the wrong friends
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
This is a very nice unit to rent, good view, great location, only 1 highly venomous cobra unaccounted for in the last few months, what's not to like?
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this "Texas Deer Stand"
source: img339.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Some Shareef)
 
 
 
Muslim student sues school district for holding graduation ceremony in a Baptist church. Guess he never heard of the "Standing in a garage doesn't mean you're a car" argument
source: ksat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(574)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
CDC says people should start taking personal responsibility for their health now or health care costs will spiral. Subby is too busy eating his new Angus burger from McDonalds to care
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(The State)
 
 
 
Donate kidney, get 180 days off your prison sentence. Donate cornhole, you get to keep your dessert at dinnertime
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
News: public schools bill parents $36.13 for each day their kids miss school, saying "If You Play, Please Pay." Fark: the bills are non-binding, just like attendance Bonus: some parents are actually paying up
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(news-leader.com)
 
 
 
For rent: Luxury duplex, 3BR, 2BA, garden view, sun porch, aged dynamite in attic
source: news-leader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Pope calls Bob Dylan a prophet, passes joint and exhales plume of white smoke
source: entertainment.timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Sororities for single mothers forming at major universities. Which is cool since you know they put out
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Michael Jackson says he wouldn't change a single thing about his career, steadfastly refuses to leave little boys behind
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Catholic teen sues social services agency for placing her with godless heathen Protestant foster parents
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Cingular and WWE to double team our collective psyche
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(CBS4Denver - KCNC)
 
 
 
Man steals street sweeper to do doughnuts in the middle of the road. Since it was a streetsweeper, they were really...slow...doughnuts
source: cbs4denver.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Popular Science)
 
 
 
Pentagon researchers turning to cockroaches, bees and fish in the war against terrorism. With great graphic of a gun-toting soldier bee
source: popsci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Woman opens door for man at Pizza Hut, then sues both
source: stclairrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(San Marcos Daily Record)
 
 
 
Forget Cancun and South Beach. You know your Spring Break is going to totally kick ass when it starts in the back of a cattle trailer
source: sanmarcosrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember the Barbie Bandits? Yep, they were strippers (with pic)
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Funny stuff)
 
 
 
Blues Brother wannabe drives through a mall in his SUV. With mug shot worthy of hall of fame
source: chronicle.augusta.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(News10)
 
 
 
Government fails to inform city that nearby bomb testing would be of the nuclear variety. Oops
source: news.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Undercover drug informant surprised to see name listed under sheriff's expenses in newspaper
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man robs hotel clerk while talking on his cell phone, strips, flees naked
source: news-press.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(AdFreak)
 
 
 
Bagel shop proudly advertises that its bagels are "like vaginas"
source: adweek.blogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(290)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Gurkhas mull admitting female soldiers for first time in fighting force's long history. Submitter would make a joke but doesn't care to have his head lopped off with one stroke of a kukri
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
To you Farkers who refuse to go skydiving out of fear that some flinty-hearted jackoff will subsequently sum up your life with a headline that includes the phrase "human-shaped divot" - your suspicions are correct
source: itv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
The man with the best claim to the throne of France is a lawyer living in India. Bonus: named Balthazar Napoleon de Bourbon
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Above The Law)
 
 
 
If you're an attorney who asks for an extension because you were drunk, best not to use a smiley emoticon in your request
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(NY Times)
 
 
 
US Fish and Wildlife Service takes decisive action about the problem of polar bear drownings caused by global warming. They order their scientists not to talk to the media about Polar Bears
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Judge to allow accused child molester to go to Disney World. What could POSSIBLY go wrong?
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's raining balls in this South Florida neighborhood
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
New helmet allows players to manipulate games with their minds. Dr. Emmet Brown still working on Flux Capacitor
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Coast Guard prepares for what it will do in case of huge exodus of migrants from Cuba when Castro dies, last seen being taught phonetic pronunciation of phrase "Say hallo to my leetle frien"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Man's idea to suck fuel out of his car with a vacuum cleaner after he mistakenly filled the tank with diesel, well, sucked
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Times-Trib)
 
 
 
Police in Dickson City baffled by crook who's putting porn on shelves of local Borders. "Besides catching this person red-handed, there's not much more we can do"
source: thetimes-tribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Not news: Man loses 397 pounds. News: He still weighs 840 pounds. Fark: His town gave him a parade for his achievement, used a forklift to get him out of his house and put him on a truck
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Bystanders decide the best way to help out a shooting victim would be to relieve him of all the weed in his trunk so that he could avoid drug charges. Thank goodness for good Samaritans
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Iwon)
 
 
 
Photoshop Martin Scorsese and his Oscar
source: ak.imgfarm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Alternet)
 
 
 
Concierges at good hotels can get you reservations at a busy restaurant. Concierges at great hotels can get you copies of The New York Times from Sept. 17, 1957, or have your child enrolled in a prestigious private high school
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
News: 42-year-old soccer fan invades pitch, fells player with karate kick. Fark: The player is eight years old
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Federal prosecutors seek to gag professional madam. Little do they know that costs extra
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(NY Daily News)
 
 
 
If the junior high school teacher's minivan is a rocking, don't come a knocking -- especially is she's giving "speech" lessons to a 13-year-old boy
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Unintentionally strange headline: "Congress steers spending to aliens, obese GIs"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some International Woman)
 
 
 
It's International Women's Day. Don't forget to give your favorite broad a congratulatory smack on the ass
source: internationalwomensday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Charleston Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Woman showers fiance with gifts. Man flirts with other woman on street. Woman breaks off engagement, sues man. God bless America
source: dailymail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
High-ranking Iranian general -- who disappeared during trip to Turkey, was kidnapped by CIA then Mossad, then defected to Israel then U.S., is now spilling his guts to the CIA but is not in U.S. custody -- is still missing
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Jogger struck by car upgraded from dead to mostly dead
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Dog named Lassie dies rescuing elderly couple from house fire
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(nbc10)
 
 
 
To protest a 200 percent higher electric bill, attention whore pays his electric bill in pennies. Oh yeah, the postage to get the pennies delivered was $50
source: nbc10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(234)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
Man -- cleared of murder charges after "Curb Your Enthusiasm" footage proved he was at Dodger Stadium -- settles claim against city
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
An Atlanta-based group is working on a vaccine that will kill the AIDS virus in as little as three to four years
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(297)
 
(Some Alien)
 
 
 
Indianapolis turns over security to our extraterrestrial overlords
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Georgia needs a Tag)
 
 
 
Ever use your remote starter on a cold winter morning to get your car toasty warm before you get in? Better not do that in Georgia unless you want a $168 ticket
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(569)
 
(NewsMax)
 
 
 
New York Times admits paying $2K for porn info. Don't they know it's cheaper to get the year-long subscription?
source: newsmax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(craigslist.org)
 
 
 
Snow fort for rent in Minneapolis. One-year lease required
source: minneapolis.craigslist.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Jacksonville.com)
 
 
 
91-year-old man wants 92-year-old Jack LaLanne to get off his lawn, get into boxing ring for four rounds. Bonus quote: "Florida is like the waiting room to the casket"
source: jacksonville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Centre Daily)
 
 
 
Men forced to pay $3500 and choose between enlistment and community service after cow-shooting incident. Your dog wants steak, but not the consequences
source: centredaily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Bloomberg)
 
 
 
CEO on conference call: ``I don't want to be too sophisticated here, but 2007 is going to suck, all 12 months of the calendar year."
source: bloomberg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this magic man
source: vh10018.v1.moc.gbahn.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
L337 Doctors just copying their work from tEh IntarWeb : LOL? Everybody panic
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(This is London)
 
 
 
Hospital staff to wear special vests as violent patients getting way too stabby
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Vienna to attempt clearing streets of vagrants by playing opera. Austrians have obviously never heard of Creed
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Scotland sets aside hundreds of thousands of pounds "to honour the best and brightest in Scottish culture." Seems a bit like setting up scholarships for the best hockey players in Equador, but och, it's their money
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Norwegian inn gets liquor license for its toilets, so guests have something to do while waiting for the effects of a goat head dinner to pass
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Fingering "wash me" on a dirty car. The new hawtness: Fingering the Mona Lisa (with pic)
source: citynews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Mother, grandmother arrested for spanking 12-year-old so severely that he cried
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(636)
 
(kten)
 
 
 
Woman upset that Chuck E. Cheese applied for a permit to sell alcohol. No this isn't a repeat from 2003
source: kten.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Used boxes are cheaper and better for the environment than new boxes. Can you guess which intrepid reporter broke this story?
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
School closes all bathrooms, shocked when students begin urinating on bushes. Obvious and Florida tags locked in mortal combat
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
You think your job sucks, ever get a black eye from an elephant penis?
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Elderly feline fitted with pacemaker, looking forward to chasing those damn kittens off her lawn
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Sui Generis)
 
 
 
During a videotaped deposition, should you A) refuse to answer questions and curse at the lawyers, B) hit your mother in the head with a light stand, C) attack the cameraman, or D) all of the above?
source: nylawblog.typepad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Moran attempts to imitate "Jackass" stunt involving lighter fluid and his junk, ends up imitating "Ow, My Balls" instead; hospitalarity ensues
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(CBS4Boston.com)
 
 
 
While at Harvard Law, Barack Obama usually had no idea where to legally park, thus racking up some nice parking fines he didn't pay til this year
source: wbztv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(510)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Two UCLA officials charged with illegally selling body parts from research cadavers. If only they had BRAAAAAIINNNSS
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Scottish man wins $3,000 judgement against spammer. He wanted it to be a class action suit, but the court ruled it could only be him
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Add 'trampoline rage' to the afflictions causing soccer moms to beat the shiat out of each other in front of their delicate little snowflakes
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Armed robbery suspect in Memphis tries to quash eyewitness evidence by wearing bag with eyeholes cut into it to court. Because nothing proclaims 'innocence' in a courtroom like a defendant who shows up with a bag over his head
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Farmer tries to beat property taxes by building a new house completely hidden in a barn full of straw. Didn't work
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 


Wed March 07, 2007
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hay bales
source: yafh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 96: "Everyday Heroes" LGT next week's theme. Rules are conveniently located in the first post
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Atlanta's Hartsfield Intl named world's busiest airport. Suck it, O'Hare
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Troopers clock 'Blues Traveler' singer John Popper at 111 mph. Bonus points for huge cache of weapons and pot in the trunk
source: komotv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(265)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Former Navy sailor arrested on terrorism / espionage charge(s)
source: stamfordadvocate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Georgia truck driver claims half of the $390 million jackpot, becomes an inspiration to rednecks everywhere
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(All Headline News.com)
 
 
 
Headline: "New poll says nearly half of men questioned have faked an orgasm in bed." Which begs the question: Where have the other half faked it?
source: allheadlinenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Desperate Iowa mountain climbers turn to ice-covered farm silos so they have something to climb
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
McDonald's introduces bigger burger. Because Americans just aren't fat enough
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(254)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
MSNBC refers to girl who died in plane wreck as "...a little ball of fire." Which farker works for MSNBC?
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(Proud 1759 Society Member)
 
 
 
The average wedding costs $27,852. I think I'd rather have about 15,910 cans of Guinness and be happy instead. You?
source: bankrate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(474)
 
(WOAI)
 
 
 
Georgia hospital's security cameras catch tornado racing through it. Bonus pic of 2x4 impaled in patient's room wall. (With video)
source: woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Woman brings lawsuit against doctor who failed to properly kill her child
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(427)
 
(Galway First)
 
 
 
That guy who was arrested for bringing a donkey into a hotel room? Yeah, it was a fake
source: galwayfirst.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Senior Taliban commander was captured wearing a burqa. "Soldiers spotted the tranny and quickly arrested him." Was given away when he said, "We should invade their countries, kill their leaders and convert them to Islam"
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Comedy Central)
 
 
 
"Suck my balls Saddam, stop wiggling." South Park on the cover of Rolling Stone
source: ccinsider.comedycentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Antarctic octopus. Difficulty: Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn. Ia
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
U.S. Mint finally gets around to printing money for the atheists
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(246)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
From Conservapedia: Don't mess with Dino Jesus
source: ericdsnider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(196)
 
(free Lance-Star)
 
 
 
Human skull found behind Virginia rock quarry. Initial reports find the skull previously manhandled by Danish nobility, then reburied by unfunny clowns
source: fredericksburg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Woman sees Jesus in burned wallpaper (with video). Does mass media ever NOT run a story about Jesus appearing on something?
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Town angrily denounces actions of "The Yellow Pimpernel" who spraypaints potholes with yellow paint to draw attention to lousy state of roads; says it will not be influenced by "guerrilla action"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
NASA fires Fark's favorite diaper-wearing astronaut. Obvious tag explodes
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(KUTV Utah)
 
 
 
Forget prayers: Idaho lawmakers post God's phone number in legislative directory
source: kutv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(spiegel.de)
 
 
 
German bishop compares Palestinian situation to that of a Jewish ghetto during the Holocaust, then mumbles "Hitler" to score triple Godwin points
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(www.CNSNews.com)
 
 
 
Moral apathy is on the rise, but no one cares
source: cnsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(WNBC.com)
 
 
 
A woman says her shopping trip to New York went sour when she was wrongfully arrested and her daughter was taken away. But other than that, she had a good time
source: wnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Big Bopper still dead. Fark will notify you if his condition improves
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Bush Administration wants websites to keep records of who uploads images and videos. Because we all know that will make our children safer. God bless America
source: news.com.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Chronicle Herald)
 
 
 
If you're going to send an email with a picture of a 50-year-old topless aboriginal woman, please avoid doing it during work hours. -- The management
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
♫ Libby-Libby-Libby on the pardon-pardon-pardon ♫
source: kltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(331)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
When questioned by police about why you broke down the door to someone else's home, it's best to come up with a better explanation than "I am a werewolf."
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Today's "newspaper reporter plagiarizing another reporter's work" story doesn't come from The New York Times, but rather The Boston Globe, which is owned by The New York Times
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Soupy McGummer)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Man robbed of a bag holding $875, his teeth"
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bush says communism in Cuba should die with Castro, even though it provides Cubans with endless amounts of happiness, pink bunnies and unicorns
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Fed News Radio)
 
 
 
Headline: Feds seize F-14s out of private hands. Other news: The free market allows temporary private ownership of F-14s
source: federalnewsradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Obese couples have more difficulty in conceiving children. Home remedies like porn, reinforced bed frames and flour said not to help
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Gold diggers. New hotness: Toxic Wife Syndrome
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Detroit News)
 
 
 
Man gives Girl Scout group counterfeit $50 bill, goes directly to hell
source: detnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Report: "41 percent of the people over age 18 who visited MySpace.com during a recent four-week period were 35 or older..." In other news: Creepy older men use MySpace to stare at young hot teens from the comfort of their own homes
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Now that threat by traffic detectors and cartoon billboards has been neutralized, Boston law enforcement targets illegal immigrants. No word yet on whether they will be detonated in a safe location
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Western feminism is dead, because so many feminists ignore the plight of their oppressed Muslim sisters
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(291)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Graduate student writes poetry using only lines from spam emails. (With examples)
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Florida Today)
 
 
 
Florida county reliant on its fleet of Vietnam-era choppers, bought for $500 each, flown to hell and back, and supplying numerous high-quality chase videos to Spike TV
source: floridatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Mistakenly believing that they have a say in the matter, 30 Vermont towns pass resolutions to impeach George W. Bush. Suck it with Ben & Jerry, libs
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Blonde white woman missing since Feb. 19. EVERYBODY PANIC. Oh wait, she's 40 years old and not very attractive? Move along, people
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(CBS 46)
 
 
 
Sir, you're going to have to check your eight bags of marijuana and 14 guns before the plane takes off
source: cbs46.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(American Thinker)
 
 
 
Airbus and the A380 have elements of a Greek tragedy. Of course, without all the eye gouging and a little less mom bonking
source: americanthinker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Louisiana mayor's body to be exhumed for third autopsy
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Comcast cable repairman murders immigrant, admits murder was actually scheduled for three weeks earlier
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Senate to examine credit-card fees because this country's only large enough for one group to be taking 30 percent of your money
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Metafilter)
 
 
 
Edward James Olmos does a bit of improv acting in recent "Battlestar Galactica" episode, destroys prop model ship in fit of rage. Turns out it wasn't a prop, it was a museum piece
source: metafilter.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(311)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
FCC to XM: You're not Sirius
source: today.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Snake Charmer)
 
 
 
"She picked up two western diamondback rattlesnakes, a pigmy rattlesnake and two copperheads in an attempt to thwart off police." Then things got weird
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Las Vegas wants the groundwater from farms upstate so drunken tourists can enjoy the casino fountains
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)
 
 
 
Co-ed's $17 bribe attempt to avoid $500 fine could get her five years in jail
source: press-citizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(MyFoxPhilly)
 
 
 
"Students pay from $6,499 to $8,999 to have the company find them an eight-week summer internship." So, in this case, unpaid work costs about $7,500. Somebody failed economics
source: myfoxphilly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(USA Today)
 
NewsFlash
 
Today's school shooting story brought to you by Midland, Michigan. One female student confirmed shot
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(News 4 Nashville)
 
 
 
"Marvel kills off Captain America." This is what passes for front-page news, as will "Marvel brings back Captain America" in five months
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark TV: Worried your kid is going to grow up to be an asshole? Trade 'em in at Barry Blintz's Baby Trade and Car Bonanza
source: fark.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(WOWT.com)
 
 
 
Suspicious powder in a rolled $20 bill shuts down courthouse. Hmmm what could it be?
source: wowt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(WFAA)
 
 
 
Comerica bank abandons Detroit for downtown Dallas. Other than warmer winters and decent BBQ, the "downtown suck factor" balance sheet is even on this one
source: wfaa.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Tacoma News Tribune)
 
 
 
Woman calls police to complain about speeders in her neighborhood, gets speeding ticket in resulting crackdown
source: thenewstribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Turns out the jury foreman in the Libby trial was Tim Russert's neighbor. That means nothing of course
source: americanthinker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(371)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
"Stocks move sideways in midday trading." Whatever the hell that means. You submitted this with a wine joke
source: biz.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
U.S. government wins big in $370 million Mega Millions lottery, will also share it with two people in NJ and GA
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(KKTV)
 
 
 
Woman wakes after more than six years in a coma, plans celebratory visit to NYC to tour the World Trade Towers, asks how President Gore is doing
source: kktv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Courant.com)
 
 
 
Zoning commission denies permit to build Buddhist temple, stating that the Asian architecture would have a negative impact on property values, not to mention all the ninjas
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(232)
 
(NFL Fanhouse)
 
 
 
Peyton Manning is also available for weddings and bar mitzvahs
source: nfl.aolsportsblog.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Wikipedia theology expert exposed as a 24 year old community college dropout, used "Catholicism for dummies" book
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(611)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Airline announces it will cut rates up to 40 percent. Good news slightly tempered by the fact that they also announced they would be charging for every piece of luggage and even soft drinks on flights
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Courier Journal)
 
 
 
KY writer does an op-ed piece about nutsacks
source: courier-journal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Scotsman)
 
 
 
Indian village investigating missing chickens blamed local dogs at first, but then found out it was one of their cows eating them. Mmm, chickabeef
source: news.scotsman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Times Leader)
 
 
 
PA man blames his whiskey-flavored Red Man Select chewing tobacco for his DUI arrest
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man robs underwear store while believing he's a female elf, a delusion he'll find useful when dealing with prison showers
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man publicly stabs his wife at least 10 times, pours gasoline over her and tries to set her on fire as good Samaritans try to stop him by honking their horns at him
source: clarionledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(505)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man sleeps through 20-ton front-end loader crashing into his house
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
Police arrest truck driver after his hit-and-run with a Mitsubishi ends with the car's driver clinging to the fleeing truck. Police still unclear about how a person driving a Mitsubishi survived any kind of collision
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
University of Connecticut gets nagging herpes problem under control
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Annual State Department report on human rights mentions the plight of a Kazakh television reporter named Borat. This is not a made-up tagline
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
61 year-old Britsh great grandmother lands a nine-foot lemon shark. A bigger boat was not needed
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
2,400 snakes found in packing crates that were set to be sent to Hong Kong via airplane. What could have possibly gone wrong that could have been made into a halfway decent movie?
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
After losing your job, always remember to retrieve all personal items from desk like family photos, stuffed animals, child porn
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
Five fishermen die after smelling their catch, fingers
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Spain criticized for cruel sport of quail tossing. Submitter's joke headline woulda been funny two presidents ago
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Mainichi Daily News)
 
 
 
University entrance exam official busted for fatally stabbing girlfriend, plans to offer a defense in 500 words or less
source: mdn.mainichi-msn.co.jp   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Groom hits his new bride with car just days after wedding, a move commonly known as the "Jersey Divorce"
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(39)
 
(IOL.co.za)
 
 
 
85-year old man falls from fifth floor window, is caught by nail sticking out of wall. Doctor Clear Lee Obvious says man "should be more cautious around windows"
source: int.iol.co.za   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Man claims toxic fumes from welding job made him download all those gigs of kiddy porn
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Smokey)
 
 
 
Grandma caught with large bag of Cheetos and a little twenty twen twen (with pic)
source: southtynesidetoday.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Further dignifying the Anna Nicole saga, O.J. Simpson says he could be Baby Daddy due to his slow-moving sperm, then adds classy remark about the Goldmans seizing the baby
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
A roundup of stupid marriage traditions from around the world. Submitter laughs bitterly, wonders why 'getting married, period' isn't on the list
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Bird last seen 139 years ago is found to be alive and possibly delicious in Thailand
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Expatica)
 
 
 
Hard up TV channel to broadcast "masturbate-athon" for charity. Who gives a toss?
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(41)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Today's "Police arrest some of the scariest looking Florida prostitutes ever" story is from Melbourne, with photos you will never, ever forget
source: local6.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(274)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Senate confirms Crocker as ambassador to Iraq, announces plans to try to win over insurgents with delicious yet simple recipes
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook