GoogleWeb Fark
Sun July 01, 2007
News.com.au Interesting Man escapes house arrest with a little help from his best friend (22)
(Salem News) Dumbass Police arrest MySpace douchebag who was molesting underage girls (with mugshot) (104)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these metal things (61)
590 KLBJ Sappy Wife of soldier missing in Iraq gets Green Card out of sympathy after facing deportation (43)
(Some Guy) Strange Bill collector gets fired for calling people in debt and saying things like, "You sound like Goofy: yucka, yucka, yucka." (92)
(Some Guy) PSA If you kick your soccer ball into the river, let it go. Cuz man, it's gone (39)
ABC News Scary Department of Homeland Security secret document is leaked, states that law enforcement authorities fear terror "spectacular" planned for summer (280)
(nbc5) Strange Truck overturns, spilling pig parts and grease on Chicago's Edens Expressway. Dinner is served (34)
Boston Globe Asinine "We have road rage," said Arlington Police Chief Fred Ryan. "And now we have bikeway rage." (202)
ABC News Stupid Anchor gets stuck on Bush's boat; no word if he worked for Fox, ABC, or if it was that news tart (46)
Breitbart.com Weird Mothra spawn chewing up foliage in NJ and PA (28)
Canada.com Asinine Indo-Canadian flies to India to meet future wife, marries her, sponsors her Canadian visa, flies back to Canada and lives happily ever after. Just kidding. She bailed on him after a week and he's on the hook for her expenses while in Canada (76)
Yahoo Scary Web sites critical of Russian government mysteriously find themselves under cyber attack. How could that possibly be happening? (40)
ABC News Interesting U.S. boosts security amid British copy cat concerns, afraid they may soon talk like us, listen to rock 'n roll, and have shows like "The Office" (30)
CBS New York Ironic Man claims his 1st Amendment rights were violated when he was arrested by NYPD for reciting the 1st Amendment (117)
Houston Chronicle Sad Heroin dealers ruining the good name of cheese. If they mess with bacon, they gonna get hurt (79)
Click On Detroit Ironic Town spends entire budget buy a theater and tear it down (64)
MSNBC Sad Home owned by Tiger Woods destroyed by fire. Wife still hot (56)
(Some Guy) Obvious Alaska editorial: A friendly reminder, we live in godless killing machine country (59)
Seattle Times Spiffy Short people got no reason to miss the Dwarf Athletic Association of America's National Games, held this year in Seattle (40)
AJC Sad Former wrestler Lex Luger made millions, flew in private jets and lived in mansions is now dead broke, sleeps on a used bed and keeps his clothes in neat piles on the floor (157)
(Economist) Sad If you're a man in Eastern Germany, you're totally screwed. Or more precisely, totally NOT screwed, since there are 70 women for every 100 men (72)
NYPost Dumbass Man illegally reselling gas out of his 350-gallon capacity van does it wrong (42)
Breitbart.com Weird "Condom up that rifle, boy, you don't want it to get dusty" (58)
BBC Photoshop The soon-to-be-nation of Kosovo has announced an international contest to come up with a flag and symbols for the country. Surely Farkers are up to the task? Difficulty: Must be better than the current Albanian flag (62)
(Some Tree Hugger) PSA Delaware State Police believe the best way to celebrate freedom this Fourth is to hide in the trees and liberate $216 from the wallets of passersby (179)
(KABC - Los Angeles) Obvious Ric Romero reports: "Companies Offer Cheaper Alternatives to the iPhone" (192)
(Some Guy) Asinine With world peace announced and the recent cure for cancer, AP publishes the finalists for "America's best restroom." (37)
Newsday Scary American Airlines terminal at JFK evacuated after a suspicious package is found on the curb. Turns out to be... cologne (70)
CTV Amusing "You know, half a gallon of rum, three hours and usually we come out with a workable solution." (51)
(Some Guy) Asinine Hard hitting, compassionate journalism: ten ways to get back at your ex during a flood (100)
Fox News Followup Fifth arrest made in the Glasgow airport incident where luckily no one was kilt (94)
(Some vacuuming dude) Interesting Researchers say sharing housework is the key to a good marriage, far surpassing good sex, lots of money, and being faithful (159)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Pro-life fanatic apologizes for torching women's clinic after discovering that they did not actually perform abortions (261)
(Winnepeg Sun) Cool Happy Canada Day, Hosers. The Sun is where? (156)
AP Strange Man attacks peacock in a fast-food restaurant parking lot because he thought it was a vampire. Stay off the drugs dude (56)
London Times Unlikely Stressed fish get bill of rights. At last the scales of justice have been balanced by the gills of . . . umm . . . something (35)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cyclist (58)
Yahoo Sappy 105 year old man finally gets his wish to be a U.S. citizen (44)
CBS News Interesting There are five types of alcoholics. That seems low (178)
St. Pete Times Florida Inventor convinced investors to give $21 million to build imaginary Internet technology (52)
IndyStar Strange Three things that can happen when your blood alcohol level is 0.22 : 1) You slice your wife's ear with a machete. 2) You slap a cop's arm. 3) You look crazy in your mugshot (28)
My San Antonio Asinine According to a proposed law in Texas, if an engaged couple takes an eight-hour "successful marriage" course approved by the state they get a free marriage license. Those who don't pay a doubled fee of $60 (104)
(Columbus Dispatch) Sad Knock, Knock. Who's there? Untimely demise. Untimely demise who? *thud* (39)
(Some Guy) Hero About half an hour before his 50K treadmill world-record attempt Friday, Tommy Neeson realized he'd forgotten a most important detail (104)
Houston Chronicle Strange Texas wants to make the Gulf of Mexico drinkable, realizing it has to taste better than Lone Star Beer (39)
(Tucson Citizen) Obvious You go thru life known as Andrew Sweetie "Junebug" Warrior Jr. & see if you don't get convicted of killing a crack dealer over $20; now if the "Boy Named Sue" was the jury foreman (28)
(Some Guy) Strange Some moms buy beer for their son's friends. Others buy smokes. This mom drove her son's friend to a gang shooting (21)
(Fox DFW) Video Woman shows up to iPhone line with fistful of cash, pays $800 to be first in line. She planned to buy all the phones in the store to sell on Ebay, but failed to think her cunning plan all the way through (398)
590 KLBJ Sad Cessna crashes near cemetery in Arkansas, emergency crews have recovered hundreds of bodies (41)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Floridians convict an 11-year-old terrorist after several assaults from his homemade slingshot (79)
(Rochester D&C) Asinine Having solved all other problems, town implements insanely complicated rules on how large your house can be (56)
(BayNews9) Florida Gay Pride parade has it all: Presidential candidate with hot wife, spectator busted for throwing beer on protesters, protesters arrested for out-of-fashion signs. (with video goodness) (101)

Sat June 30, 2007
(El Presidente) Photoshop They are soliciting designs for the George W. Bush presidential library (see linked story). Do your patriotic duty, Photoshop-Americans, and design an appropriate one (99)
(Picture) Caption Caption these girls in the trunk of a car (124)
London Times Spiffy London 2012 Olympics organizers relent to Fark photoshoppers, will change butt-ugly logo (82)
Yahoo Sad RIP Captain America 1941-2007 (201)
(im in ur linkz) AudioEdit Give voice to your favorite feline or bucket-holding creature (post pic and link to audio) (30)
News.com.au Unlikely PR guy from Roswell Area 51 left a letter to be read after he died - claims it wasn't a streetlight (184)
MSNBC Followup UK police arrest two in connection with recent attempted terrorist attacks. Why is CCTV such a bad thing again? (193)
(KPTV 12) Hero Oregon judge rules that lap dances are protected by state constitution (67)
590 KLBJ Asinine Exotic dancers in Daytona will have to cover up, says a federal judge. Maybe they should move to Oregon (29)
USA Today PSA List of new laws that go in effect July 1st (122)
(Homeland Security) Followup US keeps threat level in the airline sector at High (or Orange). EVERYBODY DRINK UP BEFORE YOU BOARD (100)
Google Photoshop Theme: Because the unveiled Olympic logo is a tall, cold glass of suck, photoshop a suitable replacement (70)
(Some Guy) Strange Town stages a mock funeral complete with funeral dirges and a horse-drawn hearse to bury negative thoughts about the town (19)
(Some Guy) Cool Two sexy sisters follow the clues and track down the women who stole their credit cards, catching the bikini-clad thieves red-handed at a grocery store. Sounds like the plot to a late night movie on Cinemax (155)
(The Home Office) NewsFlash Britain raises terror threat level to "critical" with more attacks expected imminently (411)
(Some Paleontologist) Obvious Scientists find a million year old human tooth fossil put on earth by Satan to trick us into believing in evolution (447)
AJC Asinine Having solved all other problems, Georgia considers limiting beer tastings at microbreweries (54)
(MaineToday.com) Dumbass For the Life of me, I can't Digest why some Mad man would enter People's Country Homes and try to Down Beat them (44)
MSNBC Obvious A family's attempt to go a full week without buying any product made in China ends up pretty much as you'd expect (159)
Yahoo Sad Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl. With yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to there. Too bad she's unemployed now (61)
London Times Interesting South Korea to crack down on Internet trolls, require people to register with their real names. In related news, thousands of South Koreans named Heywood Jablome (65)
11 Alive Asinine 21-year-old pregnant woman goes to jail because her yard had uncut grass, improper outdoor signage, excess trash, and tree debris (w/pic) (207)
(WWL-TV) Obvious Local judge says New Orleans is a very safe city, "unless you're between 18 and 35 years old, an African-American male, and you are involved in the drug trade." (103)
BBC Scary Burning vehicle crashed into Glasgow Airport terminal (520)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sheriff caught driving with expired license, takes driver's test to get it back, fails test - "I did my three-point turn backwards" (40)
London Times Weird Foot freak free from fetters following freakish photographic felony (37)
(SunJournal.com) Spiffy "Very pissed-off" citizens group promises to bring open marijuana smoking and nude streakers to sidewalk sale in Norway, Maine (70)
Canoe Stupid U.S. border officials built fence on wrong side of the U.S.–Mexico border (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this concession stand (62)
UPI Interesting A hundred lightning strike survivors gathered for a conference to share stories, advice, lottery numbers (27)
The Sun Asinine Shopkeeper was fined £250 because he tackled three thieves stealing from his shop (114)
Yahoo Interesting Domestic cats have ancient roots. Roots of Caturday unknown to scientists (304)
(Some TFette) Amusing Brave man foils robbery with... deodorant? (26)
CBC Hero 81 year old Igloolik elder found alive four weeks after he went missing in the Arctic. Yeah, he's hardcore (68)
(Some Guy) Strange Normal: Police find stolen car and return it to the owner. Weird: It had been dumped in a river. Fark: In 1980 (30)
(Muskogee Phoenix) Asinine Pair of 22 year-olds bilk $400,000 in small-town Ponzi scheme. Victims include Chief of Police and several officers, an elementary school principal, and parents of the accused. Smug-shots included (65)
CBS New York Hero Amputee beats bureaucrats, becomes a firefighter (60)
MSNBC Asinine Remember when your mom taught you to always say 'please' and 'thank you'? Turns out she was just trying to keep you from getting punched in the face (68)
CBC Dumbass Because it is humanly impossible to keep incontinent Edmontonians from relieving themselves wherever and whenever possible, the City of Edmonton plans to install open-air urinals on Whyte Avenue (32)
DallasNews Stupid Couples to wed at 99¢ Only Store. "It's for those who could not afford to get married in a Wal-Mart." (36)
Fox News Sick Your roommate loses his leg in a car crash. You A) send him a get well card, B) ask him if there is anything you can do to help, C) steal his identity and max out his credit cards, or D) 42 (31)
Yahoo Sad Woman killed while gyrating (55)
Seattle Times Asinine Seattle solves pesky homeless problem by paying street musicians to play in parks. Wait, what? (45)
SeattlePI Ironic Former Alaska Air CEO got rained on during his wedding day (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting Police seize five illegal poker machines and a grand total of $617 from a building. Now Air Supply will have to find a new casino to perform in this weekend (37)
(Post-Crescent) Weird In his free time, Hurley from Lost apparently likes to carve cheese into national monuments. With pic goodness (41)
AFP Sad Nigerian school receives 300 laptop computers for its students. As soon as they get electricity, things are really going to start looking up (78)
(American Laundry News Dot Com) Amusing There is a furor brewing amongst laundry experts. In other news, this country has laundry experts and they have a website. Okee dokee (49)
Independent Cool 'Help, I've lost my trousers', or 'Help, I've sniffed deodorant by accident': Britain's emergency 999 service marks its 70th birthday (42)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tiny crab (57)
(Some Guy) Interesting The teenage birth rate has dropped to a 65-year low, thanks either to abstinence programs or contraceptives, depending on who you ask (189)

Fri June 29, 2007
News.com.au Cool Australia now has 20,999,999 drunken yobbos and Elle Macpherson (70)
MSNBC Interesting Montana's TV meth ads not for squeamish. "My mom knows I'd never hurt her, then she got in the way." (With video goodness) (268)
(Some Guy) Strange Man wearing only a t-shirt and a paintball mask spotted hiding between two vehicles with his hands “over his private parts and looking all around” (33)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Wife won't answer your questions -- no problem, just grab the electric dog collar (62)
Washington Post Stupid Slow news day in D.C.: "Woman Hurls Dairy Queen Blizzard at Car in Road Rage" (62)
CNN Dumbass S (398)
Yahoo Strange Today's house containing 59 cats, 33 dogs, 26 chickens, five ducks and two goats brought to you from Dona Ana County, N.M. — the fourth in the area since mid-May (51)
This Is Local London Scary Backseat DVD players found to be the cheapest and most effective way to kill your kids (104)
(Some Guy) Sad Joel Siegel, dead at 63, good night movie-man (99)
(Some Guy) Cool "Martinis, garter belts, bathing suits and high heels – why do good things pass away?" Best letter-to-the-editor. Ever (221)
(Some Guy) Strange Remember that Mickey Mouse look-alike on Hamas TV? Producers killed the character off by having him beaten to death by an Israeli official (389)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Tattoo mug shots, number 10 FTW. The Smoking Gun is there (175)
(Some Guy) PSA Free Steak (76)
CBC Sappy Rare ugy-ass red pandas born at Edmonton Zoo (57)
(Some Slurpee) Followup Porn star can't swallow the fact she still has to pay $159 speeding ticket despite the most persuasive oral argument in judicial history (117)
MSNBC Amusing MSNBC reports that "Cure" inflation rate falls below 2%. Robert Smith fans pleased with the news (72)
(Some Guy) Followup Wikipedia user admits to posting about the death of Chris Benoit's wife, calls it a "coincidence" (95)
CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth Sick If you find a fetus in a middle school locker room, it might be, just MIGHT be... an orange? (153)
BBC Scary London police find second car bomb - in their vehicle impound lot (176)
AP Amusing Oregon town dismisses entire police department. Not a bad call when your ex-police chief sells Mary Kay products while on duty and does impromptu exorcisms on a guy she thought was possessed (80)
AP Sad Racial unrest erupts in Louisiana high school over a whites-only tree. Can't we all just get a log? (456)
(Winona Daily News) Ironic Actual headline: "Milwaukee kids to be in hot water for selling cold water to overheated drivers" (59)
(KATU) Hero This is how we handle home invasions in Oregon (316)
(Some dropout) Photoshop Photoshop technique challenge: Colorize this hippie van (178)
(Some Guy) Scary Power blackout hits Phoenix during 110-degree weather. Had this been in New York, you would already be tired of hearing about it (241)
(DeKalb Daily Chronicle) Obvious Slurpee consumption increases with the rising temperature. Sky also reportedly some sort of "blueish" color (84)
Yahoo Obvious Astronaut Lisa Nowak's lawyer insists she was NOT wearing diapers during her cross-country attempted kidnapping. Will the public believe him? Depends (110)
ABC News Scary "Do not under any circumstances make any attempt on this land. We will not accept any tomfoolery by any criminal element, be it federal, state or local". New Hampshire couple vows to fight Feds to the death (624)
CBS News Followup London bomb plot, taking a page from the Chris Benoit story, was predicted by a web posting prior to police finding the car (82)
Reuters Amusing Most Canadians know so little about their own country that they would flunk the basic test that new immigrants are required to take before becoming citizens (182)
(Some Guy) Weird Attention Farkers who can imitate a British accent: Your talent can earn you $120,000 a year (131)
Denver Post Obvious AAA changes press release to include term 'midweek' holiday (25)
News.com.au Cool One in five Australians have had sex at the office. Subby's shrimp looking for a Barbie (55)
Local6 Florida After much review, a federal judge rules that G-strings and pasties are not considered a conservative bikini (71)
Yahoo Interesting Moderate drinking may boost your health. Fit, buzzed, and intelligent is no way to go through life, son (52)
BBC Interesting Researchers take major step to create synthetic life in a laboratory. Here is your God now? (103)
(WNDU) Amusing It's not unusual for a car accident on a busy road to start a fight involving four people. But traditionally, the people wouldn't all be from the same car (37)
Yahoo Obvious If you drive a car along a rural road in Maine on the Fourth of July, you will die a horrible, horrible death (64)
(Some Guy) Asinine Anheiser-Busch sues championship craft brewer for attempting to patent "America's #1 brewery" (107)
(Consumerist.com) Sick String bikinis now availible for toddlers. Dude, she's one (214)
(nbc10) Dumbass Restaurant manager arrested after safecracking attempt. Bonus: He even left open the safecracking web page he was looking at (15)
New Scientist Cool There is nothing new under the sun. The moon, however, seems to be doing something that no one can explain (119)
Chicago Sun-Times Amusing Not news: summer concert by Rihanna and Hilary Duff gives out goodie bags to teenage concertgoers. Fark: bag contains condoms, adult store catalog, explicit CD titled "Vigina", "Barely Legal" suntan lotion, and sex coupons (128)
BBC Dumbass Man answers "Wanted: paedophile to run child abuse website" ad. Jailarity? Verily, it ensueth (67)
Toledo Blade Scary Mom declared "fit" for - shudder - incest trial. With horrifying mugshot that, frankly, harshes with extreme prejudice any MILF fantasy ever had as well as well as demanding a pre-emptive apology to the FARK community from yours truly (282)
(Mercury-Register) Asinine Illegal aliens serve a necessary purpose, because they will file the personal injury lawsuits that regular Americans won't (107)
Boston Globe Dumbass Teenager's plea deal to avoid jail time for fatal car crash revoked after he posts pics of himself drunk on his Myspace page (127)
BBC Spiffy And so it begins... US Supreme Court agrees to hear case regarding whether Guantanamo Bay detainees can challenge their detentions in federal courts. The Constitutional Showdown trifecta is complete (261)
(Ad Age) Obvious Study finds beer companies not spending enough ad money convincing you not to drink beer. This is why we have an Obvious tag (52)
(Some 60%) Amusing Survey finds that 40% of Atlantic Canadians would rather have beer than sex. Well obviously: a beer lasts longer, and it's pretty tough to fark and fish at the same time (47)
Philly Dumbass With nothing more pressing to keep him busy, Mayor of Philadelphia has time to wait in line for the new iPhone (94)
UPI Interesting Shop smart. Shop S-Mart (141)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you only see one photo of a dog wearing a crocodile suit today, this one should be... wait, he's wearing WHAT? (78)
(WOAI) Dumbass Man ignores barricades and police cars to attempt to drive across a swollen river, promptly discovers that his truck is not a flotation device (93)
(Some greenthumb) Strange Witness the opening of one of the world's most bizarre flowers, complete with live Webcam link (41)
Pravda Interesting New hotness: Women going on sex tours look for their "big bamboos" and "Marlboro men" (73)
(WGCL) Followup Diabetic man kicked off Amtrak train has been found. Lawsuitalarity expected in 3... 2... 1 (87)
MSNBC Florida 82-year-old man threatens to kill his 39-year-old wife for fooling around with a strapping young stud of 57 (43)
(Rochester D&C) Dumbass Man gets arrested for driving with out a license, gets bailed out, promptly drives away right in front of police (27)
Yahoo PSA FDA announces booty call (45)
(NYT) Asinine Having banned smoking, fat and impure thoughts, New York takes another step closer to being Nanny State by requiring a permit for public photography (175)
Yahoo Interesting For at least 10,000 years, kids in Peru have really hated the vegetable that Mom served for dinner (74)
(All Africa) Spiffy Proving our African brothers are not so different from Farkers, average Nambibian found to drink thirty bottles of beer weekly. "An odd bottle of beer for breakfast is not really that big a problem" (77)
Yahoo Stupid New fun game in Myanmar: stealing electrical cable during blackouts. You lose if you're not done when the power comes back on (44)
Yahoo Obvious 34 of 37 countries polled picked the U.S. as the biggest threat to the world environment. The other three picked Trident for their citizens who chew gum (133)
(Rochester D&C) Dumbass Actual Headline: "No plans? Here are 10 things to do this weekend." Actual number of things to do listed: 7 (95)
(Some Guy) Interesting The top ten least intelligent dogs. Your dog wants... um... what's that stuff called again? (314)
(AllSux) Ironic Conservapedia bashes Wikipedia for not being truthful - right before lying about Wikipedia on the front page. Conservamouth, meet Conservafoot (246)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this white-water rafting mishap (87)
Reuters Interesting Insurance companies increasingly refusing to sell policies to fatties (276)
(Some Guy, Eh) Weird Further proof that Canada is bizarre: the goggles do something (154)
ABC News Dumbass In endless quest to make the streets of Arizona safe for citizens, cops there pull over Oscar Meyer Weinermobile after suspecting it's stolen (45)
London Times Unlikely Redhead writes choral piece to fight anti-redhead prejudice. She's obviously never seen Fark (519)
Yahoo Hero Most people pay their speeding tickets, or go to court to try to get it reduced. This guy is suing the New Hampshire D.O.T. to get them to raise the speed limits (154)
(Some Guy) Interesting "One Woman's Journey To Conquer Her Fear Of Porn." Any guy could have told her it's one step forward, one step back, one step forward, one step back, one step forward (250)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: woman cited for excessive noise. News: source of excessive noise is a cow. Fark: authorities are unable to get the cow to moo (39)
Sky News Weird Jessica enjoys sweet coffee and a massage before she goes to bed. Oh, and Jessica is a house trained hippo. (with pics and video) (37)
(Some flamer) PSA As The 4th of July approaches, the authorities would like to remind all of us NOT to shove sparklers down pants (40)
SFGate Dumbass Inmates in one prison are flushing away everything from their jumpsuits to pillows. The real crime is that it's costing taxpayers $30,000 a month (52)
Yahoo Strange Bus rider banned for telling women "It's a vagina, not a clown car" (167)
CBS New York Cool NY pizzeria will serve you a large pie with pepperoni, mushrooms and a lap dance (42)
Canoe Dumbass If you’re going to get busted for shoplifting, don’t direct the police to a car where your guns and friends are loaded (8)
The Sun Amusing Don't you hate when you get a new job and you park your beater next to your boss's Porsche 911 and then your car explodes, destroying his? Yeah, this worker feels your pain (pic) (81)
TampaBays10.com Florida Day care center to be built right next to apartment complex that caters to sex offenders. What could possibly go wrong? (62)
CNN Scary Car bomb found, defused in London's West End area. Pet Shop Boys wanted for questioning (224)
STLToday Interesting The St. Louis Zoo just built a $5.3 million dollar nutrition center for the animals. Meanwhile, somewhere in the city, a child goes hungry (60)
Yahoo Cool India looking for "Mr. Condom" (30)
(WECT-TV) Sick Chinese buffet finds out the hard way what preparing sushi on top of a trash can will do to your santitation grade (51)
AJC PSA TBS is no longer a "SuperStation", which will impact all of 123 people that watch WTBS over the air in Atlanta, without cable (52)
News.com.au Scary Please return to your seats, the captain has just turned on the AaAww FffFarrrkK I'm havingggg a ssSseizure light (21)
SFGate Interesting Man puts a $4.88 price tag on a plasma TV and takes it to the self-checkout aisle. You can guess how this ends (71)
The Sun Amusing Couple who own car wash now regretting their billboards advertising “The best hand-job in town” (pic) (50)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Father and son's plan to inject racehorses with cobra venom comes unglued (19)
News.com.au Obvious Australian airlines will be required to collect fingerprints from customers travelling to the US so they can be matched against a database of potential terrorists. I thought taking off your shoes sucked (66)
MSNBC Scary One step closer to RoboCop: Company to arm police robots with Tasers. What could go wrong? (51)
AFP Cool Potential cure for HIV discovered. EVERYBODY PROCREATE (191)
(Grasshopper) Photoshop Photoshop this kung-fu fighter (67)
Yahoo Dumbass We secretly replaced this doctor's Botox injections with a highly dangerous, unapproved botulism toxin. Let's see if they notice. *screams* They noticed (67)

Thu June 28, 2007
(WOODTV) Asinine Man goes to jail for not planting grass in his front yard (191)
Canada.com Dumbass Second teacher arrested today for smoking pot wih students. Pothead trifecta in play, dude. (w/pic) (71)
(WIS10) Spiffy Good news for old Fark cliches: Cure for cancer could be coming soon. Your dog wants a.... Wait, What??? (103)
(Some Pond Scum) Obvious "Ethanol has been a disaster. It costs too much to get (fuel) out of corn. We're relying on food -- that's stupid. Eating comes before riding." (256)
(Some Guy) Amusing "Miffed By Dress Code, Male Air Controllers Wear Dresses". These are the normal, stable, stress-free people directing our planes in the sky (86)
USA Today Sappy Bengal cats leap into owners' hearts. Their sweet, succulent, delicious hearts (132)
Fox News Dumbass Middle school teacher brings new meaning to higher learning, accused of smoking pot with students (48)
(KPHO) Sick A passenger on your Amtrak train is suffering from diabetic shock. Do you C) Kick him off the train the middle of the woods (162)
MSNBC Weird Benoit's wife's death posted on Wikipedia fourteen hours before the cops found out about it (261)
(PalmBeachPost.com) Florida Ugly-ass lemur triplets born at Palm Beach Zoo. With startling-ass ugly pic (62)
(Daily Yomiuri) Spiffy Roommate Wanted: Must like no-gravity living situation. Rent: Free. Location: International Space Station (52)
Yahoo Stupid "Dateline NBC" pedo sting in Texas town turns into fiasco, leading to firing of the city manager, a suicide, complaints from citizens, and the DA's refusal to pursue charges against any of the accused (593)
CNN Followup Spanish police arrest Portuguese woman and Italian man in case of missing British girl. It's a small world after all (99)
(Some Guy) Strange One fish, two fish, red fish, stomped-on-by-angry-boyfriend pet fish (76)
Wired Obvious Daily Show viewers know more about world events than Fox News viewers (490)
Denver Post Unlikely Group with petition asks Denver cops to quit busting people with dope since it's legal and all (138)
(Consumer Affairs) Sad FTC shoots down net neutrality. RIP, Internet (438)
(South Bend Tribune) Dumbass To protect and swerve (77)
(News4Jax.com) Florida Realizing how hard it is to unload a stolen '79 El Camino, car thief tries to sell it back to the owner (with predictable mugshot results) (58)
Local6 Florida Must not stick hand in blender, must not stick hand in blender, must not stick... dammit (84)
(Reason Online) Interesting The economy is great, yet Americans are whiny and emo about it. Here's why (848)
(myfoxatlanta.com) Followup Drug agents raid office of pro wrestler Chris Benoit's doctor (201)
(Some Guy) Interesting Guitar Center sold to private equity firm at blowout prices (193)
BBC Unlikely Man stopped by police after 125-mph motorcycle chase denies wrongdoing: "I was extremely accommodating to all the other vehicles on the road. I would class myself as a careful and competent driver" (89)
Boston Globe Interesting Massachusetts homeowners are having problems with beavers. Brazilians, on the other hand, hardly ever see them (89)
(Burlington Free Press) Sad Construction worker attempts to open old safe with blowtorch, unaware that it was full of M-80's. Hilarity ensues (130)
Guardian.com Amusing Titus Pullo gets stiffed by American tourists in front of the Colosseum, goes all Thirteenth Legion on their tightwad asses (140)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Meet the assclown who's killing Ladies Nights at Colorado bars (339)
Fox News Spiffy Supreme Court rules the severely mentally ill cannot be executed. Supreme Court trifecta now complete (213)
Winding Road Cool World's oldest car set to cross the auction block... very, very slowly (64)
Yahoo Stupid Britain is proposing to remove the term "prostitute" from the criminal statutes because it carries too much stigma for whores (87)
(Chattanoogan) Dumbass How do you get away with nearly $28,000 in unpaid parking tickets? Drive a car so worthless that the city won't even tow it (89)
Yahoo Interesting Think China is not a player in the world, especially in the US economy? Think again (147)
Local10 Florida Retired Marine takes out two armed robbers at local Subway shop. Retired Marine trifecta now in play (265)
Yahoo Followup Teacher acquitted of abuse charges after making student write "I am a retard" 100 times (81)
BBC Strange Pack your severed goat heads, your tarot cards and bottles of newt eyes, it's time to go to Norway and talk witchcraft (36)
St. Pete Times Florida Husband says he's angry because "there's a guy out there who knows what my wife looks like naked" (203)
(WCAU) Stupid Disapproving of your daughter's fiance is one thing. Kidnapping him from a diner full of people and beating him up in the parking lot is something else altogether (w/mug shot goodness) (74)
(Some Roosterteeth) Hero Red vs. Blue Episode 100: "Why were we here?" series finale (102)
Boston Globe Unlikely Massachusetts ranked safest state in the US to drive in. Also, elderly welcome children on their lawn, there's a cure for cancer, and Duke totally rules (123)
UPI Followup That man with the bullet in his head? Yeah, he could face criminal charges. Followup tag trumps Florida tag (40)
AFP Weird Proving that Beijing city officials have waaaay too much time on their hands, the city has banned taxi drivers from shaving their heads and wearing "too fancy" hairstyles (22)
iWon Strange Section of Salt Lake City on lockdown after discovering suspected terrorist trumpet. Police put out APB on the angel Moroni (88)
Yahoo Amusing Though you'll be the hero of your co-workers, putting on a sex show at work will probably get you canned. Especially if you use female inmates to do it (63)
MSNBC Obvious Supreme Court hands down new decision striking use of race in high school admissions (199)
Yahoo Dumbass Teenage muggers take girl's shoes, money and cell phone, give her an older cell phone in return... with muggers' photos on it. You're doing it wrong (63)
Yahoo Stupid Early warning device gives Japanese ten seconds to prepare for earthquakes, large passing trucks (54)
CBS Boston Dumbass Man goes into a salon and asks for a shave and a haircut. So why is he taking off his pants? (38)
MSNBC News White House refuses to answer subpoenas: Constitutional showdown possible over firing of federal prosecutors. Didn't Fark have a constitutional showdown yesterday? (850)
Yahoo Scary Oil prices rise to nearly $70 a barrel on news the Spice Girls are reuniting for a world tour (78)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop tub baby (123)
Telegraph Interesting McDonald’s is going McOrganic, warns about new threat from the Tofuburglar (130)
First Coast News Amusing Don't you hate rubberneckers farking up traffic when you are driving? Like who hasn't seen two manatees making sweet, sweet ... wait, what? (79)
Stuff Amusing The New Zealand government is totally harshing my buzz, brah (109)
Yahoo Sad News: Huffer causes deadly car wreck. Not News: Charged with manslaughter, negligent homicide. Fark: Innocent of DWI (54)
MDN Strange Japanese woman who murdered four people with poisoned curry nine years ago plans to run for Parliament seat from Death Row (44)
The Scotsman Interesting Spain to have a contest to add words to their national anthem; Jose can you see? (59)
(Some Guy) Amusing Guy hides secret stash of cash in toilet tank, wife finds it and flushes it down the loo, hubby finds it again by going through septic tank. That'll teach him to keep secrets from his wife (41)
Abc.net.au Interesting In search of illegal brothels, Melbourne may hire private dicks (25)
(NOLA) Strange Louisiana last state to ban cockfighting. Still no word on teabagging (32)
TBO Florida Man accidentally shoots friend, then turns gun on himself in grief. Two wrongs don't make a right, but Darwin appreciates the effort (60)
AZCentral Dumbass More than 50 people in Arizona line up in 112-degree temperatures to get free Chick-fil-A for a year (117)
BBC Strange Man stopped from exercising his pet snakes in the park. SiaP? (30)
Independent Obvious Peaceful Britain has been cooking the crime statistics for years. Millions of violent crimes not recorded due to reporting cap. Hows that gun control thing really working out for you there guys? (360)
(Some Guy) Asinine Survey finds 'majority' of teachers report being attacked or abused by students in past 12 months, even though teachers only work for nine, less two weeks at Christmas, one week at Easter and two weeks of professional development days (227)
JSOnline Spiffy Like to grab bewbs but tired of having to put down your beer? Don't despair, there's a sweatshirt designed just for you (57)
(Some Guy) Scary Not news: man goes to pharmacy. News: steals Oxycontin. FARK: while wearing a Spiderman costume (51)
Daily Mail Strange 58-year-old chemist eats only fruit juice and sunshine and has the legs of a scholar (124)
(Live 5 News) Strange Welcome to the twenty-first century: middle-school bullies extort $35,000 from the son of a local night club owner (28)
(Some Guy) Asinine The perfect way for government to raise money: make people pay a tax for standing on the sidewalk (52)
Guardian.com Obvious Kremlin lays claim to North Pole. It's all about the oil, comrade (54)
CNN Sad White teen cheerleaders die in crash. Film at 11:00, 11:01, 11:02, 11:03, 11:04, 11:05, 11:06, 11:07… (297)
The Sun Weird What happens when a zebra stallion farks a horse: an ugly-ass zorse. With pic that's worth the click alone (112)
Time Sick Guess which presidential candidate strapped their family dog to the roof of their moving car during a family vacation (337)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these spoons (53)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 113: "Farktography Classic: Self-Portraits" Please read first post. LGT next week's theme (360)

Wed June 27, 2007
News.com.au Strange Catfish tries to swallow basketball [pic] (92)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Dumbass Palm Springs is apparently so rich, even the homeless guys get robbed (19)
AZCentral Stupid Woman stands accused of DWTXT - driving while text-messaging. Bonus: she ran into a marked police cruiser that was parked and has its lights on, sending the police officer to the hospital (62)
MSNBC Obvious Richest of the rich see largest wealth gains in 7 years. Meanwhile, submitter gets to have a bowl of Ramon for dinner, again (232)
CBS New York Sad 7,669 complaints sounds like a lot, but when it's against the NYPD, it's the lowest in a decade (41)
NYPost Asinine Man pays $10,000 to bail his 5 year-old out of jail... his 5 year-old dog, that is (35)
(Some Guy) Strange Old and Busted: Baseball trading cards. New Hotness: CDC disease trading cards (71)
(Some Guy) Interesting Warren Buffet pays 18% tax on his $48,000,000 income while his secretary pays 30% tax on her $60,000 income (404)
(City News) Stupid Couple calls city asking for help removing tree that fell on and trapped their parked car. City sends meter maid to write ticket for overtime parking (82)
(NWCN) Amusing Oregon drivers beware . . . we are on to you (230)
Chicago Sun-Times Interesting Oprah Winfrey to open an Oprah store in the city of Chicago, soon to be renamed Oprahville (82)
(Some Guy) Obvious Let whoever among us who has never shot at houseguests then passed out in the driveway cast the first stone (37)
SLTrib Interesting 80% of immigrants try to learn English, which is about the same percentage as U.S. high school students (178)
Click On Detroit Dumbass Tip of the day: Don't play golf in a thunderstorm (71)
Daily Mail Asinine Judge orders a man to pay his ex-wife (that he divorced thirty years ago for cheating on him) £200,000 because she has “fallen on hard times.” (169)
(WWL) Obvious Corruption hurts the image of New Orleans and Louisiana, according to this month's issue of Duh Magazine (84)
UPI Interesting Chef sues sous chef (58)
(ABC Action News) Florida Today's prostitute mugshot thread brought to you by Tampa. Wouldn't it be funny if you recognized one of... hey wait, Mom? (132)
Reuters Stupid Power outage affects parts of New York City. Next up on today's world news, New York City's weather and traffic report (185)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Cool Bald Eagle to be taken off of endangered species list. Mmmmmm... tastes like chicken (99)
NYPost Amusing Today's NY Post cover shows why it's America's greatest newspaper (225)
(metro.co.uk) Amusing You've been Serbed: farmer changes his wife's name on their pre-ordered gravestone to a picture of his favourite cow (45)
Washington Post Dumbass Starting in July, reckless driving convictions in VA will be accompanied by a new $1050 fine. County clerks fear mayhem (138)
USA Today Interesting Man wakes up from month-long coma to find out his wife had been fighting to have his life support shut off. Awkward (204)
(Some Guy) Scary Cambodian men given stiff warnings over dangers of using hair tonic for penis enlargement (with inexplicable picture of bunny rabbit) (74)
UPI Unlikely Australia tries out new public service ad campaign claiming that speeders have tiny weeners (120)
(myfoxny.com) Misc American Medical Association decides video games are not addictive, high fructose corn syrup isn't linked to obesity, and noise levels of in-ear headphones don't need to be limited. Ralph Nader near suicide (120)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this flood boarder (56)
Fox News Sad Liz Claiborne unveils new Flat Line (164)
AFP Amusing Polish magazine runs photo of German chancellor Angela Merkel breastfeeding Poland's ruling twin brothers... on its cover. (With possibly not safe for work pic). Hilarity, it ensues (126)
(New York Times) Weird New York Times reporter held hostage for 9 hours in a toy factory in China. Would have got out sooner if he could have met his toy quota (72)
Fox News Asinine Today's frivolous lawsuit brought against Starburst is for not carrying a warning label that they are chewy (192)
Rocky Mountain News Dumbass Lawsuit filed after cop is fired for being in the worst marriage ever (141)
Yahoo Scary What's 18 inches and gets a Texas woman soaking wet? (164)
NewsMax Scary Influential bank warns that credit bubble could lead to a global depression much like that great one in the 1930s (191)
Breitbart.com News The Constitutional showdown begins: Senate subpoenas White House and Cheney office records regarding warrantless eavesdropping program (583)
AZCentral Obvious Attention Child Protective Services workers: you can no longer date the child abusers you should be investigating (41)
UPI Unlikely College researchers recommend early morning classes on Fridays to cut down on binge drinking. Because no student would skip class because of a hangover (151)
(Some Guy) Amusing After selling for $580 million, MySpace founders are now demanding $50 million to renew their contract (90)
CBC Amusing Woman pelted with doughnuts in drive-by. Cops systematically searching all shops for clues, vow they will not rest until their investigation is complete. Also request coffee (49)
(The Argus) Scary Crime legalized in England as the country's prisons are now full (82)
SLTrib Obvious Father comments on the man who raped his son: "He's got game" (201)
SLTrib Scary It's true that Mormons don't drink coffee because of the caffeine, but that doesn't mean they don't need get a kickstart in the morning. They just add rocket fuel to their water supply (264)
The Virginian Pilot Dumbass Another day, another PETA worker charged with stealing a deputy's hunting dog (109)
Yahoo Strange Woman nearly dies almost exactly one week after her father's death while standing over the open grave of her sister, who died after learning of her father's death (56)
TampaBays10.com Scary Girl Scouts now working with Johnson and Johnson to sell drugs along with cookies. No, not the good stuff, but still (69)
Houston Chronicle Interesting China to enact new labor law, cutting work week down to 120 hours (116)
CBS News Obvious "You know it's summer journalism if you notice The Attack of The Lists. Are they a crutch for reporters and columnists? Absolutely. But a completely understandable one given the glacial pace of the June-July-August news cycles" (64)
(Some Guy) Asinine If you see a father holding his daughter's hand, call the police (406)
Forbes Stupid Forbes predicts Detroit will be a "ghost town" and San Francisco won't be far behind after an earthquake by 2100. Which proves Forbes doesn't know anything about the Bay Area real estate market (119)
(no Texas tag, please) Weird This news round-up has everything a Farker needs: Controversial Wal-Mart approved, drunk woman stealing ambulance, Episcopal chaplain accused of molesting students, and the guy Cheney shot in the face wants his parking lot back (34)
Yahoo Strange Anger over fuel shortages and gas rationing spark fistfights and riots... in Tehran (180)
Sky.com Cool It was 40 years ago today that people started butchering the English language by saying "ATM machine" (414)
Guardian.com Stupid Despite the presence of 7000 troops, province in Afghanistan has managed a record opium crop, producing more drugs than Colombia (94)
Local6 Florida Dad sues school after his son is struck by lightning because the school did not provide "sufficient warning" (137)
(NY Daily News) Followup Georgia DA says Chris Benoit was shooting up his dwarf son with HGH in the weeks prior to his family killing trifecta (477)
(nbc10) Sad Plane grounded when four-year old throws a tantrum over apple juice. Tag is for the parents (579)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Labatt Breweries sending beer to Canadian troops in Afghanistan for Canada Day (100)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this rainbow rabbit (84)
CNN Cool Would you like some marijuana on your curry? (166)
Telegraph Interesting Tony Blair says goodbye to No. 10 today after 10 years (144)
(KATV) Scary Arkansas police officer caught on video choking and arresting kids for skateboarding (with link to video) (491)
(Some Guy) Interesting Black columnist responds to death threats he's received from right-wingers after discussing media coverage on black-on-white crime (459)
(Times of India) Cool Paleontologists think it is theoretically possible to bring woolly mammoths back to life (122)
(Courier-Gazette) Dumbass Three in county unintentionally shoot selves over weekend. Don't mess with Texas (48)
LA Times Amusing "Redding fined U-Haul $10,000 and warned that if the case went to trial, he would allow Marx's lawyers to put in evidence an internal document known as the 'dumb shiat' memo" (88)
News.com.au Sick It's normal to want to see your girlfriend's breasts. It's not so normal if she's lying in the morgue -- especially after you (allegedly) threw her off a cliff (69)
(Some Guy) Hero A Wisconsin gas station owner filed a lawsuit Tuesday seeking to overturn a 1930s state law requiring retailers to mark up the price of gas (48)
London Times Strange Imams put fatwa on carp caught in Tigris (44)
Guardian.com Interesting A glimpse inside the world of Japanese Yakuza gangsters, who could eat the New Jersey mob for lunch and spit out their bones (90)
Yahoo Florida Today's "Man wakes up with a headache, goes to an emergency room, and discovers he's been shot in the head" story brought to you by Florida. Again (38)
(KATV) Dumbass If some kids are throwing rocks at your house do you A) Ask them to stop, B) Call their parents and tell them about their kids criminal activity, C) Come out with guns blazing shooting and killing a 9 year old. Being Fark, it is a no-brainer (229)
SeattlePI Followup Death row inmate who looked for jokes to tell at his execution dies without telling one, leaves everyone hanging (86)
Yahoo Strange Large, hairy manlike creature seen in Michigan. Scientists believe it's either a sasquatch or Ted Nugent (83)
Yahoo Photoshop Photoshop this coach arguing with an umpire (51)
CNN Followup Girl who lost feet on Six Flags ride said to be 'stable.' Personally, I'd have guessed 'wobbly.' (237)

Tue June 26, 2007
(Some Guy) Strange Two-year-old in runaway truck drives across a road and down several embankments, taking out a gas line, trees, and eventually the porch of a home and a chain link fence. Ta daa (38)
(Belieftnet dot com) Obvious New poll shows record-low number of Americans find comfort in organized religion. Jesus H. Tap-dancing Christ in a Side-Driven Chariot (298)
(Some Guy) Caption Local newspaper said to caption this photo, but I KNOW Farkers can do it better. Voting enabled (151)
Philly Scary Teen dies on Disney roller coaster. In Paris. Theme park trifecta now in play (71)
Yahoo Weird People who owe overdue fines to the Wethersfield Library can pay them off with pasta, canned foods or items such as toothpaste (39)
Yahoo Scary More evacuations in Tahoe as fire jumps a containment line (95)
Newsday Amusing 1 male inmate + 1 female inmate + pancake batter + desperation = sweet, sweet lovin' (73)
CNN Scary The CIA tested LSD on citizens, wiretapped U.S. journalists, opened mail going to the USSR and China, and conspired with mobsters. But that's all in the past and you can feel safe now, citizen (214)
(Some James Coburn) Dumbass Pickpocket picks former Marine. Who's also a former Golden Gloves boxer. And also a former iron worker. Hilarity did not ensue (95)
(Vail Sun) Amusing Arizona parents get their panties in a bunch over their little sweet snow angels un-bunching their panties on the web (259)
Newsday Asinine Massachusetts inmates say the state violates the laws against cruel and unusual punishment for not allowing sex change operations at tax payer expense (65)
(WWSB 40) Florida Man arrested for pointing his finger at an off-duty sheriff. No, not that finger (138)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Asinine 9/11 hero facing charges for trip to Cuba documented in Michael Moore's "Sicko" (295)
(pittsburgh tribune review) Weird Today's "God talks to man in shower and tells him to give away free wooden paddles for spanking kids" story courtesy of New Kensington, PA (96)
(American Chronicle) Weird Illegal alien captured in North Dakota, on video. Complete with antenna and spiral thingy. Fark: Local authorities want to build missile defense shield for concerned cattle (75)
The Sun Obvious Jessica Alba's checklist for potential suitors surprisingly reasonable, but you still don't have a chance (136)
SLTrib Spiffy Sweden rules inmates have a right to their porn. Børk Børk Børk (62)
Daily Mail Amusing Pub tries to sidestep British no-smoking law by declaring itself the embassy of the tiny Caribbean island of Redonda (pic) (108)
(Some Guy) Dumbass CNN's moral authority Nancy Grace is four months pregnant. Got married two months ago. Hmmmm (304)
(Some Guy) Sappy Ugly-ass baby pygmy hippo born at Paris Zoo. French promptly surrender (their hearts -- aww -- with ugly-ass photo goodness) (48)
(Some Vigilante) Photoshop Photoshop this office hallway vigil (154)
The Newspaper Stupid Woman faces six months in jail for stopping to pay toll (87)
Discovery Spiffy Researchers create lemon and rose flavored tomatoes. Tomacco still being developed (104)
(Some Guy) PSA About 44 million Americans had no health insurance in 2006 -- two million less than the government estimated. So that's all right, then (524)
(Some Guy) Stupid Not news: Man jailed after not paying back child support. News: Support only due because of tax technicality. Fark: The ex-wife doesn't want a penny (184)
(Some Guy) Amusing Munger Potato Festival Potato Queen loses crown for not showing up to work. Apparently didn't know that the Potato Festival organizers have eyes everywhere (93)
(Pioneer Press) Dumbass Today’s Father of the Year nominee threatens to shoot Little League coach because his son wasn't seeing enough playing time. With jail photo goodness (184)
Local6 Florida Parents arrested for leaving three-year-old in Florida sun to ride "Pirates of Carribbean" ride at Disney (with video) (173)
AP Followup Wrestler Chris Benoit strangled his wife, smothered his son, then hung himself (1221)
(Some Guy) Hero Choose your favorite way to be saved from a fire: A) Two hot high school cheerleaders. B) A burly fire fighter. C) A Japanese samurai droid (182)
Newsday Sad Remember that one bit of good news from Iraq last month? About the Sunni tribal sheiks that had allied with the U.S. to kick al-Qaeda out of Anbar? Yeah, well, a suicide bomber just killed all five of them (383)
(AP) Weird Sorry about the mass shooting on your campus. Here's a rock (70)
News.com.au Scary As if it doesn't suck enough already, Fosters Lager will be brewed in USA. By Miller (142)
BBC Asinine Cellphones in schools called "offensive weapons" by teachers' unions who fear being "cyberbullied" by students armed with them (217)
(wesh.com) Florida "Witnesses said the two women left their kids alone at a community pool while they had sex in the pool bathroom for almost two hours. Authorities said a third woman was watching and taking photographs" (181)
(Some Guy) Interesting ĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦĦ (227)
(2theadvocate.com) Dumbass Today's "nude driver tries to run over a state trooper" story brought to you by Baton Rouge, Louisiana (27)
(Some Peeper) Spiffy Woman, 22, caught on highway having sex with boy, 14. (With bug-eyed mugshot goodness) (191)
(Rochester D&C) Sappy Couple celebrate their Demisesquicentennial anniversary (46)
Homestar Runner Amusing I haven't been able to fit into my lucky pants for like 10 years (46)
Boston Globe Interesting Like listening to Internet radio? Not today you won't (225)
(Poconos Record) Cool Golf outing features strippers, lap-dance stations and threesomes. Oh yeah, and you weren't invited (118)
London Times Scary Ten predictions about climate change that have ALREADY come true (415)
(Chronicle Herald) Weird The CSI team is really reaching now: Guinea pig death sparks investigation (31)
Reuters Dumbass If you are being chased by the police, asking for a "time out" is unlikely to work (35)
Herald Tribune Florida Golfer meets up with a one-eyed, 11-foot water hazard while retrieving his ball. Chubbs Peterson quoted as saying, "Told you" (61)
Yahoo Interesting Egyptologist Zawi Hawass discovers the tomb of the Egypt's most famous queen. Apparently it's simply fabulous (92)
News.com.au Scary Tiger invades village, kills three, makes par (44)
Forbes Sad Free at last, free at last, thank Fark almighty Paris Hilton is free at last (369)
(American Decency Association) Amusing "Make no mistake, Satan is having a field day with MySpace.com" (167)
(Some Guy) Photoshop He ain't heavy, he's a photoshop contest (74)
(Clitheroe Advertiser & Times) Amusing Extreme ironing (32)
Salon Amusing Drew's media criticism in Fark book hits a little too close to home for Salon writer, who misses the point entirely and thinks the Runaway Bride was a really, really important story (149)
Bangor Daily News Amusing Woman chased by coyote while mowing her lawn escapes through a painting of a tunnel (38)
(Some Guy) Amusing Coked-up driver leads police on a chase through a corn field, puts aliens to shame (with greatest crop-circle picture ever) (80)
LA Times Unlikely Mexico is attempting to end police corruption. Time machines and cold fusion engines also on the agenda (55)
London Times Silly Human Teenager: The Manual (28)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man gets too drunk on business trip in China, falls 13 floors at the Hilton -- and survives (31)
ABC News Obvious City councilman blames Tahoe fire on environmentalists. Environmentalists? Yes, environmentalists (89)
Sign On San Diego Strange "Mr. Ventre, you stand accused of murdering your girlfriend. Do you have anything to say in your defense?" "NNNNGGGGAAAAAAHHHHH" »thud« (68)
CBS Chicago Scary Over 3,800 employee access badges are missing from Chicago's O'Hare Airport. Body cavity inspections in 5... 4... 3... (35)
The Scotsman Interesting Health care rationing a "necessary evil" in the UK. In other words, mate, you get that MRI when Fulham wins the cup (150)
(wqad.com) Strange Boy arrested after bringing toy gun in library, fined 15¢ a day (38)
AP Obvious Utah court rules that vasectomy gift is not recoverable after couple splits up (21)
This Is Local London Amusing Time Out magazine likens London's Royal Borough of Kingston to a "flaccid penis" (10)
Houston Chronicle Interesting New research reveals that dogs can imitate human behavior. Your dog wants pr0n, opposable thumbs (56)
News.com.au Sad Truck kills 80-year-old about to complete record ride around Japan (51)
STLToday Spiffy Great news, St. Louis: Your tap water has been voted No. 1! So raise a Budweiser in celebration, and see if you can tell the differencce (66)
Daily Mail Asinine Man arrested and jailed for waving to his daughters outside his home. Ten years and 133 court appearances later, he gets to see them again (106)
Daily Mail Scary After refusing to treat smokers and fatties, Britain's health care system now preparing to deny treatment to millions who have brittle bones. How's that whole socialized medicine thing working out for you, Limeys? (266)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these San Antonio sisters (53)
(WTOL.COM) Interesting Not news: Thieves break into a house. News: They stole the kitchen sink. Fark: And the toilet. Police have nothing to go on (46)

Mon June 25, 2007
Wired Hero "Thank you, RIAA, for dropping that lawsuit, but I'm going to have to sue your ass" (183)
USA Today PSA Help Las Vegas pick a new tourism slogan (voting enabled) (281)
590 KLBJ Dumbass Darwin steps in when two stoned, drunk teens jump up and down on top of a huge oil-storage tank (147)
Yahoo Hero A moment of silence, please. The last Iwo Jima flag raiser has passed away. Your watch is over, sir. And thank you (406)
CNN Obvious Oh yeah, here's "The Secret": It's really all a bunch of drippy, blame-the-victim psychobabble. But thnx for all your $$$ (351)
(WWE) Sad WWE website reporting that wrestler Chris Benoit and his wife were both found dead today in Atlanta (1700)
USA Today Interesting Americans are the most charitable people on the planet, giving $295 billion, twice as much as a percentage of GDP as the next closest nation, the UK. Meanwhile, the French wouldn't toss you a sou if you were bleeding on their porch (195)
AZCentral Interesting Arizona schools are now required by law to display a flag and copies of the Constitution and the Bill of Rights in every classroom. Because nothing says democracy like forced democracy (186)
Fox News Spiffy Kentucky school district wants to eliminate C as a passing grade because the mediocre have no place in our society (129)
(Chattanoogan) Spiffy Tennessee finally elects a Gore. To replace a Pancake. No, really (44)
Sun Sentinel Florida Arlo Guthrie in trouble with code enforcement. Twenty-seven 8-by-10 glossy photographs with circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one not included (108)
(Fox 13 - Tampa) Florida Man covered in tattoos claims discrimination after no one will hire him. Tattooed idiot trifecta now in play (603)
IOL Weird Where is your God now? Nuns accused of stealing Jesus statue. Jesus trifecta is a go (60)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Here's a headline you never thought you'd see: British residents warned of dangers of teeth-whitening kits (100)
Daily Mail Photoshop Photoshop the new scary submarine thing (103)
Houston Chronicle Sad Man, 84, dies penniless after judge arbitrarily decides to seize his property and millions of dollars. Is there anything big government can't do? (342)
The Smoking Gun Scary The Utah inmate arrested today for shooting a corrections officer is familiar to Farkers. The Smoking Gun was there (323)
St. Pete Times Florida Old and busted: Custody battles over sexual abuse. New hotness: Custody battles over vegan lifestyle (228)
CBS New York Interesting Paleontologist: Prodigious penguins populated prehistoric Peru (64)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man drives SUV into river, nearly drowning his mother-in-law. Town police and firefighters dive repeatedly to rescue her. Woman’s daughter returns the favor by suing town for not having a dive team standing by at that exact spot (142)
Guardian.com Interesting "The military banned MySpace but not Facebook. This was a very interesting move because there's a division, even in the military. Soldiers are on MySpace; officers are on Facebook" (132)
Houston Chronicle Unlikely Study: Hurricanes are responsible for teen smoking (83)
(NOLA.com) Followup Jesus portrait will remain on display in Louisiana courthouse. For those of you keeping score at home, so far today Jesus is 1-1 (177)
Yahoo Scary Home sales hit slowest pace in four years, while the median home price dropped for a record 10th consecutive month. Bubble, what bubble? (296)
The Virginian Pilot Obvious U.S. Navy is looking to recruit more SEALs, so posting this announcement on Fark is a complete and utter waste of time (144)
Boston Globe Unlikely Massachusetts governor plans to cut electricity use by letting power companies charge more if customers conserve electricity (107)
Yahoo Followup Supreme Court rules against student who displayed "Bong Hits 4 Jesus" banner (682)
Yahoo Followup First they were worth $67 million, then $56 million, then $2 million, and now nothing: Judge rules in favor of dry cleaners (311)
(Nashua Telegraph) Obvious The CDC announces that the antibiotic-resistant staph superbug is spreading at 10 times the rate predicted by health professionals. So, Happy Monday and don't worry about that nagging cough (145)
Daily Mail Silly Britain lowers speed limit to four mph (94)
Daily Mail Interesting British military introduces 80 mph Mad Max mobile (173)
(Some Guy) Obvious Rabid, near-hysteric hype over the iPhone may be setting Apple investors up for a pretty big fall (328)
(Some Guy) Interesting Over 50 tunnels have been found under the U.S.-Mexico border, proving once and for all that Bugs Bunny has gotten out of control in his quest to reach Albuquerque (239)
Sun Sentinel Florida Seven Wonders of Florida nominees narrowed to fourteen. Hanging Gardens of Chad fail to make cut (64)
(kvvu) Scary New thrill ride opened at the Fitzgerald's hotel & casino in downtown Las Vegas as elevator drops 26 floors unexpectedly (85)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this guy sliding on a rail (73)
Boston Globe Sappy Kid who put his phone number on YouTube plans to marry girl who got his phone number off YouTube (122)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Step 1: Find unsuspecting clerks at Target. Step 2: Put 99-cent price tags on expensive items. Step 3: Profit? (with almost-MILFy mugshot) (165)
News.com.au Amusing Jaw arthritis for hotdog champ allegedly from eating hotdogs (53)
(NWF Daily News) Florida Woman attacks pregnant lady at beach in attempt to get towel she was sitting on (46)
(klastv) Scary Nevada college system considers arming the faculty. What could possibly go wrong? (186)
(Sunday Mail) Asinine UK police charge man with having sex with his bicycle (113)
The Sun Dumbass Burglar busted while stuck in a window. (Paneful picture goodness) (26)
Guardian.com Amusing Italian women flock to all-female beaches because they don't need to cover up their flaws or endure ogling Italian men. "I come here to relax, and all that is lacking is a eunuch at the door," raves one (116)
(Some Guy) Obvious Pet hoarding -- along with hearing unseen voices, fire starting, and voting Libertarian believing they can actually win -- called "sign of mental illness" (52)
Yahoo Interesting Nude dude viewed by lewd brood of rude prudes (45)
ABC News Interesting Vigilantes patrol Oregon rivers shooting sea lions with beanbag rounds to stop the creatures taking local salmon, buckets (34)
The Sun Scary Coolest pics of a TV wildlife host getting bitten in the face by a snake you'll see today (86)
The Sun Interesting Ecstasy causes “significant” damage to both long- and short-term memory. In related news, ecstasy causes “significant” damage to both long- and short-term memory (154)
Guardian.com Strange New York City's Gay Pride parade focuses on religion, marriage. Wait, what? (127)
Guardian.com Obvious Spain hit by plague of blood-sucking black flies; broadcasts TV warnings and prints fliers about danger. Critics complain any other kind of fly would have just received a verbal caution (38)
BBC Obvious BBC predicts what will dominate the headlines over the next seven days. We'll take care of that, rookies (38)
(Some Guy) Obvious Road maps "misguide drivers" -- particularly if your wife is in the passenger seat interpreting it for you (70)
(Sierra Sun News) Sad South Lake Tahoe area is burning. Fifty homes already lost, hundreds more threatened (83)
NYPost Obvious Ex-Boston cardinal Bernard Law, who tried to ignore 450 claims of sex abuse by Boston priests, now lives in the Vatican and is an advisor to the pope (318)
Yahoo Interesting U.S. tourist killed by rogue gymnast in Romania. Heh, heh, just kidding. It was a bear (72)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this lack of comment (65)
CBS News Amusing Travelers at Los Angeles International Airport suddenly soaked to the bone when sprinkler system decides to take a giant whizz on everyone (36)



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