GoogleWeb Fark
Sun September 23, 2007
Yahoo Weird Man rips head off duck in St Paul hotel lobby ornamental pond. Minnesota Humane Society blames hotel policy for this murder most fowl (54) Sad In a manner reminiscent of Dickensian sweatshops, children are being forced to work in cannabis factories in Britain (40)
Time Sad "Much of Detroit remains an urban war zone, having seen its population more than halved. Unemployment stands at 14 percent. About 47 percent of residents over age 16 are functionally illiterate" (212)
Telegraph Strange 500 people gathered beneath the surface of a swimming pool in Acton, west London, to set the record for the world's largest formal underwater dinner party (46)
Seattle Times Silly Having solved all other problems, Oregon deems family's name too offensive for license plates (187)
Yahoo Florida How Clearwater went from a sleepy little Florida town into Mecca for weird-ass UFO worshippers (80)
Daily Mail Sappy Meet Paleface, the rare albino koala. Awwwwwwww (pic) (74)
Telegraph Stupid Reporter discusses "trend" of teens drinking to get drunk; next article will discuss "trend" of thirsty people craving water (68)
CNN Amusing Raging bull attacks house with vicious left hooks, uppercuts (22)
(News Channel 8) Unlikely Southern Maryland scheduled to run out of water by 2030 (99)
(Some Ship Shape Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this young girl ready to launch a ship (86)
SFGate Scary Bad Ways To Die #17: Drowning in a vat of sulfuric acid (255)
AP Spiffy "Eater-X" wins coveted burrito-eating champion title. Lucrative endorsements for Gas-X and Ex-Lax undoubtedly to follow (46)
LA Times Amusing Expert witnesses needed as Washington State allows for a 60-day supply of medical marijuana, but can't agree on just how much that actually is (154)
The Tennessean Strange Fark harmonic convergence: Hot redhead Christian school teacher, whose husband is jailed for shooting the student who was banging her, checks out of mental hospital, abducts her kids, and heads to California to meet somebody she met online (133)
CNN Followup The verbally abusive cop that was caught on tape has been fired. No, not that one, the other one. No, the OTHER one (128)
(The Maine Obvious Airline to feature flight with drag queens, pink cocktails and a cabaret performed by the flight crew, and just make sure your seats are in an upright position (46)
Time Interesting Now that their dollar is at par, Canadians go on shopping sprees in United States hoping to snap up cheap ketchup chips, cases of Coffee Crisps and crappy beer (181)
Click On Detroit Dumbass Woman comes home to find naked stranger asleep in her bed. He tries to make the best of an awkward situation by then offering her $14 and some pot for sex (126)
(Some Guy) Strange When choosing a place to sit in your lawnchair, look for a shady spot with some privacy... away from high-speed trains (30)
(A Moon-Phone) Asinine Prize offered for the first mobile phone call from the Moon - can you hear me in space? (76)
(Some Guy) Amusing How do the cops prove prostitution without the sex act? "He ended up having sex four times in the name of justice" (93)
( Unlikely The good news: Free land to start or relocate your business. The bad news: You have to move to Bucksport, Maine (37)
(Some Guy) Ironic Cancer fundraiser bracelets recalled for dangerous lead content. China surprisingly not mentioned (32)
Daily Mail Interesting Poles found to commit one in five of all crimes in London, even though they occasionally become trapped in stolen convertibles (60)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Robber unable to wrest purse from 71 year old woman with "damn I will never get fitty's respect" pic goodness (58)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this handheld vacuum (54)
Yahoo Dumbass Break out the tinfoil mitres...Pope John Paul II was euthanized (183)
CNN Sad "____________________________________" (262)
Herald Tribune Florida You don't spit into the wind... and that pretty much covers it (76)
ABC News Scary Southern drawl "may be spreading" in United States. EVER'BODY PAHNUK, Y'ALL (552)
Washington Post Sick Iraq occupation costing taxpayers over $8,000 per second. But that's a "small price" (181)
CNN Followup Iraqi investigators in possession of videotape that shows Blackwater USA guards opening fire against civilians without provocation in an incident last week in which 11 people died (284) Interesting Not unusual: Student sleeps through a smoke alarm. Unusual: his bed was on fire (30)
London Times Interesting USAF team planning Iran war is so secret that only anyone who has access to the internet knows about it (89)
AP Florida Got a Quran? That's a tasing in Ocala (199)
(Some Hippo) Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Hippos (66) Obvious Japan picks Farkuda as new PM. Hey, that's not what I typed (65)

Sat September 22, 2007
ABC News PSA "Do not call" list registrations start expiring next year so you might want to re-register before then (154)
LA Times Scary California officials, always a beacon for the environment, notice a predatory fish reappearing in Lake Davis, decide that dumping in 16,000 gallons of poison oughta take care of that (136)
CBS New York Amusing Ninja Bandit evades NYPD for 16th time in 4 months (119)
Miami Herald Florida City of Miami unveils its new slogan promoting downtown: "DWNTWN MIAMI." "Not having the O's makes it more creative" (136)
AP Cool Sure he had to chase off wolves with firecrackers and rescue his dog from hungry Kazakhs, but he succeeded, on horseback mind you, in following Ghenghis Khan's path (59)
Fox News PSA Herbal remedy to cure nausea, diarrhea, cramps, and abdominal pain in babies contains 100% all-natural homeopathic parasite that causes nausea, diarrhea, cramps, and abdominal pain (105)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tram (59)
Denver Channel Amusing Actual Headline: "Dominatrix submits to city's wishes" (w/pic weirdness) (112)
(Media Matters) Dumbass Bill O'Reilly stunned that black-owned restaurants can be the same as white-owned restaurants (373)
Fox News Florida Problem: Teachers frustrated that they can no longer discipline unruly students. Solution: Get older kids to beat 'em up. State: Look to your left (110)
DallasNews Scary To "fight terrorism" the government keeps reports on all travelers, including who the persons travel with or stays with; the items they carry during their journeys; and even the books that travelers have carried (194)
(some dumbfounded guy) Stupid What do you do for a guy who kills his ex, then himself? Honor him with a plaque, of course (74)
(Springfield Republican) Silly Judge rules museum may show art exhibit despite artist's objection to "quality of trash" used in its construction (17)
(Chattanoogan) Obvious "Most people just don't know the truth about hunting. Emotion gets in the way of reason. The mainstream media doesn't tell them the whole story." (266)
(Patriot Ledger) Obvious Driver who crashed into stalled car and killed a woman while speeding home from a bar ruled not at fault because he's a police officer and she should have known better than to break down on the highway (100)
(Some Free Press Guy) Ironic With apparently nothing better to do, Iran distributes 70 page book at the UN on Canada's alleged human rights violations (233)
Wired Hero Pirate Bay to file charges against major media companies for denial-of-service attacks and "infrastructural sabotage" (154)
(Whiners R US) Dumbass Man creates stink about the smell of roasting coffee in the morning (90)
Time Scary From the home office in Washington, D.C., Bush's Top 10 Reasons for Bombing Iran (227)
Yahoo Interesting Q: Whose popularity has dropped from 51% to 38% in just two years? A: It's not George Bush, though they both got a big boost in attention after 9/11 (70)
(Some Guy) Followup Judge denies request to free Jena teen (502)
Google Photoshop Photoshop this apocalyptic sculpture (45)
My Fox Kansas City Dumbass Not news: Halloween store sells suggestive costumes; News: man offended when daughter sees them; FARK: man calls cops and throws a fit (183)
(NY Times) Strange You're an unemployed 45-year-old man living in your parents’ house. Do you spend your days: a) talking on your ham radio, b) posting on Fark, c) ruling the sovereign nation of Independent Long Island, or d) all of the the above? (150)
(Some TFette) PSA San Francisco Fark party tonight. Link goes to location, DIT (57)
Yahoo Followup MIT student's lawyer: bomb charges are "over-reaction." Obvious tag barely trumped by Follow-up tag (520)
(Some Guy) Amusing How to get banned from Kmart (183)
( Scary Hard hitting journalism brings you "The barkeep of the week" - with "WTF is up with her lips?" pic (211)
(Some Guy) Florida Kid's "yo momma" joke during P.E. leads to state child abuse investigation. Yo momma was too busy in submitter's bedroom to stop this nonsense (109)
Yahoo Amusing Anything to declare, Sir? Yes, three iguanas in my false leg (22)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Interesting Report: London's crime rate hasn't fallen, despite having ten thousand cameras. Big Brother was watching you, then he got bored, and flipped over to the match (68)
(Palm Beach Post) Asinine WWII epic has "dirty" words. Threat of FCC fines leads some PBS execs into censor mode. War is heck (160)
( Obvious 2,000 bikers escorting a replica of the Vietnam Veteran's Memorial upset that they have to pay tolls at the Maine Turnpike. Someone's gotta go back and get a shiatload of dimes (162)
UPI Strange Python thrown at Taco Bell worker. And now for something completely different (64)
Fox News Interesting What you should look for when getting a cat (470)
SacBee Stupid With all wise options for spending money completely exhausted, America drags its pets to "Pupperware" parties. Your dog wants to be Old Yellered (26)
Google Photoshop Photoshop theme: Magazines catering to the upscale and sophisticated redneck (45)
CNBC Interesting Will the ten, richest people in America please take one step forward? Not so fast Waltons (86)
Yahoo Ironic Woman who came in contact with rabid bat saved by Facebook. No it wasn't poked to death (43)
(Some Guy) Strange Inmate files lawsuit, attaches hard boiled egg to his complaint. Federal judge responds by quoting Dr. Seuss (18)
SMH PSA If you had "baby cribs" in the latest Chinese Death Products pool, please step forward and claim your prize (57)
(Some Guy) Sad African refugees relocated to Houston beg to be sent home after meeting American refugees from New Orleans. “We don’t know how to protect ourselves," pleads one (192) Interesting Prince Charles opens the only public garden in Britain allowed to grow cannabis (44)
Newsweek Amusing Dude lives the Bible for one year. Yes, he stones an adulterer in the park, but he had their permission (72)
The Sun Obvious Model-maker spend 900 hours making life-size Harley-Davidson out of wood, admits he spent 700 hours getting it to leak oil like a real one (pics) (158) Obvious In shocking revelation, college freshmen exposed to more sex, alcohol compared to high school (51)
(woodtv) Sappy Man bravely rescues skunk with it's head stuck inside a can. with video goodness (37)
The Sun Dumbass Why rent a truck to take home your garden shed if you own a Volvo and some bungee cords? Unfortunately, other people own cameras (60)
Daily Mail Strange The absolute weirdest pair of high heels you'll see ... well, pretty much forever. "It looks like something Salvador Dali would dream up" (pics) (99)
Rocky Mountain News Cool Crested Butte Ski Resort tells Vail and Aspen to suck it, plans on giving away free lift tickets, no strings attached. Sonny Bono nods, winks, smiles (53)
Yahoo Sad Oxford English Dictionary eliminates thousands of hyphenated words. "Printed writing is very much design-led these days...The hyphen is seen as messy looking and old-fashioned." (102)
AP Interesting Bullfrogs are scaring the bejeezus out of Utah officials (40)
(Some Old Guy) Photoshop Photoshop challenge: Insert this road sign into a more appropriate location (78)
The Sun Hero British yachting champions told they can't enter a boat called "Jackie Big Tits" in regatta. "We can’t just change the boat’s name," explains one. "That’s what it’s called" (62)

Fri September 21, 2007
SMH Misc Zombie Castro shows up on TV for first time since June, appearance cut short when he started gnawing on the cameraman's forehead (41)
This Is Local London Strange Army major fined for sexually assaulting woman with ... a grape? (61)
(Click 2 Houston) Asinine Asshat steals van for mentally handicapped girl. This guy should be tard and feathered (94)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Topless mug shots. The Smoking Gun is bare (safe for work, not safe for eyes) (218)
Reuters Obvious Attention, San Francisco. You're about to lose your * (116)
Flickr Caption Caption this dreamy guy on a bed (85)
(Some Guy) Florida Nostalgic 1964 Beechcraft Super Twin delivering towels and video projectors to the Bahamas makes an emergency landing on I-95. Yes, towels and video projectors (65)
CNN Followup Boston now 2 for 2 on circuit board bomb scares (347) Interesting Tecktonik, that 80's mix of techno/hip-hop thought to be gone forever, is Europe's latest craze. GET UP, GET UP, GET OFF MY LAWN (98)
CBC Dumbass Canadian mob politely beats up wedding crasher who ran over a polar bear with his igloo or something. Anyways there probably was bacon served at some point in the wedding. In Canada the bacon is round like a circle (176)
( Amusing Marijuana hidden in Chips Ahoy shipment. Keebler elves not talking (90)
(Milk and Cookies) Amusing 30 years ago today: The Fonz jumped the shark (173)
CNN Weird Man acushed of shtealing falsh teesh (28)
YouTube Amusing What Metallica sounds like before Pro Tools (252)
( Amusing Today's jewel of responsible journalism comes from Colorado State University and this 4 word editorial (208)
Wall Street Journal Dumbass Dear liberal media: If someone says "Where's Mandela? Saddam Hussein killed all the Mandelas," he might be using what we adults call a "metaphor," and not referring to the original Nelson Mandela (337)
(Some Guy) Cool Coming soon to a Playboy near you: Kim Kardashian's ass and one of her boobs (177)
(Some Sports Guy) Photoshop Photoshop a Fark football team logo for this jersey (59) Amusing Stiff competition at annual "Running of the Weiners" in Cincinnati (43)
Mediabistro Sad Amanda Congdon and her world-class breasts are gone from (176)
BBC Obvious British Navy allows blogging aboard its ships for first time ever. But really, how interesting could it possibly be? "Day 1: Rum. Day 2: Sodomy. Day 3: The lash" (118)
London Times Interesting How the South conquered America, then threw it all away (417)
(The Inquirer) Asinine The $30 billion lost to piracy in Canada? RCMP admits they just made it up (70)
College Humor Hero Owner trains dog to get him a beer from the fridge (99)
BBC Amusing Television channel to be renamed "Dave," because we all know one (123)
Miami Herald Florida FSU says: 'Hey UF, we see your obnoxious kid at a Kerry speech and raise you two football players at a bar' (125)
London Times Strange Guy goes canoeing in a desert. Lasts 25 days without food, common sense (51)
CBS 4 Denver Followup Both sides want love triangle murder trial moved despite the fact that triangles have three sides (28)
USA Today Amusing Bill Clinton says he would be delighted to take his proper place as First Husband in his wife's shadow, and... just kidding. He says if Hillary wins, he'll slit his throat. No, really (318)
Reuters Interesting As Japan ages, more and more senior citizens are dying at home alone, with only their creepy robot child to mourn them (86)
Jalopnik Cool The Honda Fit might actually NOT be the stupidest looking car on the road in 2008 (303)
This Is Local London Obvious Handicapped woman kicked out of club after staff decide her crutches are "offensive weapons." Court rules nightclub doesn't have a leg to stand on (57)
CBS Sacramento Amusing Elderly couple robbed at gunpoint for the marijuana plants they had growing in their backyard. Quote: "Breaks my heart they took all the good stuff." (With news video) (107)
(Kingston Sub-Standard) Obvious Mainstream media discovers that pretards are using Facebook to plan their rowdy drinking parties. Well stop the freaking presses (58)
Reuters Asinine Mattel apologizes to China for besmirching its fine reputation for producing quality lead-based-painted toys. Read: Please don't kick us out of China and make us manufacture our toys somewhere else, where it will cost twice as much (151)
Yahoo Followup Blackwater back in business in Iraq (177)
ABC News Misc And the award for best/worst non-news of the day goes to ABC and this article that quite literally is all about sucking (38)
(My Fox) Strange A house dumped on a California street becomes the biggest piece of crap next to the freeway since Jersey (81)
MSNBC Amusing The "It's not a clown car, it's a vagina" family takes Manhattan (240)
CNN News Local Jena 6 demonstrators circled by trucks with nooses (1218)
(Some Guy) Hero Woman, 82, and her daughter will be at Ground Zero on Monday to stop Ahmadinejad from laying wreath. Says it would be like letting Hitler lay wreath on Tomb of Unknown Soldier (712)
(Some Guy) Followup All charges dropped against man who refused to show receipt while leaving Circuit City (380)
Google Stupid Not news: Rioting in India. News: Conflict escalating, possible civil war. Fark: Because the goverment wants to build a shipping lane where an army of monkeys previously built a bridge for Ram to rescue his wife from a demon (138)
Yahoo Dumbass Russians claim soil samples prove Arctic is theirs. USS Tigerfish to be dispatched immediately (85)
CBS Boston NewsFlash MIT student arrested for fake bomb made of Play-Doh at Logan Airport in Boston. Mooninite connection unknown at this time (695)
(Some Pimp) Unlikely Amsterdam plans to cut the number of prostitute display windows by a third (66)
(The Inquirer) Dumbass Virgin Mobile business plan: Step 1: Steal girl's photo from Flickr. Step 2: Use it for derogatory ad campaign in Australia. Step 3: Hope nobody notices (209)
Boston Globe Strange If you attacked and broke a 160-year-old bust of Jesus, the Boston police would like to have a word with you (52) Amusing Communism finally gets it right. China bans American-style TV talent shows (128)
( Strange The Black Widow, Eater X, Chip “Burger’’ Simpson, Tim "Gravy" Brown and Jason "Crazy Legs" Conti are all in Maine for a world burrito-eating bout (58)
( Asinine Why not film yourself vandalising a Lamborghini to the tune of £20K then broadcast it to a pub of people, one of whom works for the guy who owns the car in question? (99)
(The Blue School) Cool Founders of the Blue Man Group are opening a pre-school. Finger-Painting Day is expected to totally kick ass (66)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: Man has phone stolen from him at zoo. The monkeys took it (66)
(Sheboygan Press) Amusing Man wiggles cocaine out of his butt for cops, adds new meaning to the term "crack cocaine" (50)
(Some crazy cat lady) Photoshop Photoshop what animals do when humans aren't looking. LGT comic-strip inspiration (68)
Herald Tribune Hero Homeowners association lawyer demands website be taken down because it violates the association covenant. Geezer web operator says, "Suck it." Fark gets a new hero (380)
Philly NewsFlash Two students shot at Delaware State, shooter still at large, campus shut down (438)
SFGate Dumbass If you're texting your friend about buying reefer, make sure you aren't accidentally texting the state police (60)
London Times Stupid The most utterly pointless study of the day indicates more rich people than poor people ride bicycles in the UK. Heavens knows how we lived without that information (76)
London Times Interesting Woman breaks record, catches 66-pound catfish, brings new meaning to term "fish wife" (49)
(thisisplymouth) Weird Police hunt cat-shaving sicko (insert your own gag here) (86)
Mercury News Ironic 56,000 lunch boxes given to children in an effort to promote healthful eating are being recalled because they contain lead (66)
(Some Damn Hippie Guy) PSA Today is the International Day of Peace, so try not to smash anybody in the pie hole for the next 24 hours (85)
Fox News Interesting Good news: In the next decade, there will be cures for HIV/AIDS, tuberculosis and malaria (152)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this ethereal pier (71)
(Some Guy) Weird The mummified baby was a family heirloom. They displayed in on a bureau, giving it holiday cards, and even a dried pet fish. Too bad the judge made them bury it (113)
(Some Guy) Sick Homeless man faces 250 years in prison for possessing child porn. In other news, homeless people have laptops (133)
The Sun Scary Woman almost burns down her retirement home by drying her slippers in an oven (with pic of one of the most nightmarish British smiles you'll ever see) (82)
The Sun Obvious Cops launch nationwide hunt for 77-year-old woman, only to find her 12 hours later locked in a toilet. They're always in the last place you loo (41)
Yahoo Hero "I realized, oh my gosh, I'm sitting here, I'm a fat 50-year-old mom and I've managed to scoop al-Qaida" (265)

Thu September 20, 2007
Yahoo Followup "God" responds to the lawsuit against him (161)
(DeSmogBlog) Followup Remember that whole "Review of 539 abstracts in peer-reviewed scientific journals" that blew the global warming consensus claim out of the water? It didn't stand up to scrutiny and won't be published (275)
(its really not news.) Followup Because you didn't watch The View today, here is the explanation for not knowing whether the earth is flat or not (157)
Time Ironic Right-wing talk show hosts, regarded as the bastions of civil discourse and respectful dialogue, can't stand a taste of their own medicine (472)
St. Pete Times Cool Family shocked and overjoyed as Governor Crist grants full pardon to MS patient serving 25 years in prison for drug trafficking and possession of his own pain medication (228)
Sign On San Diego Sappy Baby elephants have wrinkly butts. (With ugly wrinkly-ass pic) (52)
ABC Action News Florida Satan among group of women arrested for stripping in St. Petersburg (with mugshot awesomeness) (200)
Sun Sentinel Florida 16-year-old boy arrested for having sex with the 22-year-old wife of a sheriff's deputy (w/ "I'd arrest it" pic of wife) (339)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the very odd-looking barn (101)
(Daily Press & Argus) PSA Librarians can't prevent you from watching porn on their computers. Thanks 1rst Amendment (114)
(George Will) Obvious For the second year in a row, America's elite universities and colleges have failed to rise above a "D plus" on tests of basic knowledge about civics and American history (439)
MSNBC Followup Federal prosecutor accused of arranging to have sex with a five-year old tries to kill himself in jail (283)
ABC News Stupid University students protest company recruiters because the company has the audacity to make a profit. Oh, it's Halliburton (214)
MSNBC Stupid Memorobilia dealer in Simpson case says he has more tapes, including the episode where O.J. goes back in time and has to build a mnemonic memory circuit out of stone knives and bearskins (67)
(Postcards) Interesting Britney Spears fans plan nude protest rally this Saturday in Los Angeles (148) Interesting Aussie PM's house listed for sale at a very fair $15 (35)
Reuters Obvious People are spending an average of $200 a month on miscellaneous crap. Submitter knows where $5 goes, the rest, not so much (275)
Des Moines Register Strange Man assaults wife with onion (208)
(Some Non-Ivy Leaguer) Asinine Harvard University bookstore won't allow customers to write down what they charge for books; claims the prices are "intellectual property." RIAA surrenders (267)
(The Boston Spiffy Oh, who lives in a pineapple under the sea? Absorbent and yellow and able to save a sinking ship is he (80)
Houston Chronicle Scary Police taser autistic teen. Submitter figures he was probably just being an inattention whore (630)
IOL Interesting Parrot teaches boy to talk. Parents dismayed that he only seems to want crackers now (51)
Yahoo Followup Judge allows students to wear Hitler Youth buttons to protest school uniform policy. You know who else liked buttons? (123)
SuperDeluxe Video Giuliani has solved the problem of immigration (70)
CBS New York Obvious "Extreme" weather events are normal and could continue for years, even decades. Where's your global warming now? (224)
(Some Guy) Asinine Teacher resigns over scandal involving giving one of his students a work of literature that some deem inappropriate (278)
(Chattanoogan) Amusing If you are going to run a feature story of a new airline coming to town, you might want to choose a different photo for the main page (85)
(Daily Herald) Dumbass When caught driving 99 mph in a 30-mph zone, try to come up with a better excuse than this guy (133)
Washington Post Obvious Americans urged to get flu shots... by the companies that make them (111)
Denver Post Interesting Study shows recent marriages are more likely to fail and the seven-year itch is a statistical fact (483)
Maxim Plug Want to make someone laugh? No, don't take off your pants, they want to hear your joke. (Sponsored link, voting enabled) (150)
Examiner Obvious New study finds playing soccer is better for you than jogging, in part because joggers miss out on the cardio benefits of writhing around clutching their knees after errant gusts of wind (148)
MSNBC Spiffy Jennifer Aniston's revenge is a hot bod and a shaved punani (260)
CNN Silly "Hispanic Heritage Month begins September 15 and ends October 15." I think they're doing it wrong (162)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop whatever these guys are taking a photograph of (57)
Wired Asinine Your tax dollars at work: DHS contract given to bizarre Russian mind-control experiment. Feel safer? (55)
(Columbus Dispatch) Interesting Couple convicted of caging adopted kids sue social workers and sheriff's deputies. Florida tag envious (37) Sad Girls apologise for streaking in underwear at football game. Should have gone nude (97)
(The Oil Drum) Interesting The four-day work week: 16 reasons why this might be an idea whose time has come (151)
Chicago Sun-Times Misc "I oppose gay marriage," says San Diego mayor. "Your daughter is a lesbian, Mr. Mayor." "Well then, I fully support gay marriage" (251)
(The Local) Hero Swedish girls fight for the right to bare their boobs at public pools. "If boys don't have to wear bikinis, why should we?" they ask. The ball's in your court now, Equal Opportunities Ombudsman (218)
ABC News Asinine If you are beaten and bloodied by six people in Louisiana, expect thousands of people to show up to root for your attackers (1343)
Chicago Sun-Times Obvious And the award for most understated headline of the year goes to "Enlarged breasts in men often troubling" (45)
(Some Guy) Amusing Authorities confused whether names in Vick case documents found refer to people or dogs. There is something oddly appropriate about this (last paragraph) (51)
Pravda Unlikely Peruvian meteor was actually U.S. spy satellite, brought down by splinter faction of the U.S. military. Pravda is there (85)
(Newsnet5) Dumbass If you are going to take pictures of your pot crop, you may want to consider using a digital camera instead of taking your film to CVS (51) Interesting Handy tips for Muslims on how to perform daily rituals in space. No need to pray five times for each orbit, but which way is Mecca? (89)
(RNews) Interesting First edition of the Book of Mormon fetches over $100k at auction. In related news, value of Action Comics No. 1 (first Superman comic): $1,110,000 (150)
(KTVU) Amusing Mystery goo found in San Francisco basements. Rob Reiner ecstatic (71)
ABC News Unlikely Media discover new threat to society: "Gym rage." And they're all over this one (163)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Best answer on how it feels to be a father, brought to us by Eddie Vedder: "It fueled my anger" (133)
AFP Obvious Irish defence forces secretly tracked UFO sightings for 37 years. And in a country where whiskey is a breakfast food, reported sightings included flying fried eggs and hovering irons (68)
(Some Guy) Followup Ahmadattentionwhore says he'll go to Ground Zero no matter what (461)
AP Dumbass Jesse Jackson backs off from comment that Barack Obama is "acting like he's white," possibly after someone points out to Jesse that men should be judged, not by the color of their skin, but the content of their character (478)
(Tennessee) Dumbass Six would-be burglars arrested after tripping alarm while waiting for their leader to wake up from his nap (11)
(Some Taser Guy) Followup Local radio DJs taser intern to see if he screeches as loud as the UF student (85)
Fond du Lac Reporter Amusing Not news: Police encounter "Batgirl" at a traffic stop. Fark: "Batgirl" is a dude (38)
(WAFF) PSA When at Victoria's Secret, it is illegal to ask a teenage girl to model a bra for you (180)
AP Dumbass Cenk Uygur of Air America attempts to sue Stephen Colbert for $65 million for stealing jokes. Tonight's wørd: "Publicity seeker" (59) Stupid Young girls should not be protected with HPV vaccine because fear of the invisible sky wizard is good enough (229)
Yahoo Followup $1 Canadian. That's what, like $1 in American? (388)
UPI Dumbass Iran tests new homemade fighter jets but the pilots still can't pedal fast enough to get the wings to flap fast enough to achieve flight (161)
AP Followup Elizabeth Edwards says Hillary Clinton plagiarized her husbands healthcare plan. Carlos Mencia chuckles (91)
(WRAL) Amusing Elmers waits patiently as Puerto Rican horse sets record for most losses (19)
(WRAL) Dumbass Towing a 35 foot boat by paddling an inflatable dinghy is less effective than hoped (39)
AP Obvious PS3's version of "Second Life" is behind schedule. Apparently none of the avatars could afford the $500 price tag (160)
(Townhall) Unlikely A frank and rational opinion piece on why the decimation of the American Indian population was not genocide (466)
London Times Silly Scots so angry at inaccurate "Groundskeeper Willie" stereotype that they're stripping off and getting greased up for a good fight (101) Obvious Woman who killed her husband with a shotgun asks court for custody of her three daughters, saying she needs their support to get over pain of losing her husband. Wow, the concept of 'chutzpah' exists in Tennessee (125)
(The Penisula) Strange New Polish women's political party is releasing nude posters of their female candidates for the upcoming parliamentary election. Camp Hillary orders immediate public opinion poll on landing-strip versus Brazilian (105)
( Spiffy Town in Michigan repeals alcohol prohibition after 104 years, now eligible to host a Fark party (65)
(Some TFette) Photoshop Photoshop these dancers (61)
SFGate Scary The green flag has dropped on qualifiers for this year's Farmer's Market 500 (23)
Houston Chronicle Interesting Suit against blogger confronts anonymity enjoyed by blogulation. Defamed yarn barns, LOL cats, and presidential candidates rejoice (22)
(KVOA) Dumbass Today's naked man leads cops to his pot stash story is brought to you by Tucson, Arizona (22)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Motorcyclists leaving a bar tries to ditch the cops by popping a wheelie and speeding off at 100 mph. Would have gotten away with it if he hadn't crashed into a cactus (31)
(Some Guy) Interesting Professor at a Nebraska university takes her sociology students to Thailand's red-light district: "There are just some things you can't teach out of books. Seeing it and feeling it is just so much more beneficial." (70) Interesting Young professor's last lecture, knowing he's dying. He wouldn't want the Sad tag (video) (192) Obvious South Carolina man who caught 11-foot alligator that bit off man's arm plans to offer its stuffed head to victim. "I don't think anyone would want to eat it, if you get my drift" (27)
BBC Amusing Welsh weathergirl wins "Rear of the Year" Award. With pics, of course. No vowels though (116)
The Sun Interesting Mahmoud Ahmadinejad emerges from Iran's parliament flashing a sign that can mean 'peace' in the U.S., or something very different in Britain (photo) (117)
(Some Guy) Florida Cops: "Easy" pizza heist topped with FAIL (37)
The Sun Amusing Room spray that smells like dirty ashtrays takes off in Britain after smoking ban. “From what I have heard it’s because of the awful smells the tobacco used to veil such as body odour and vomit" (46)
This Is Local London Obvious British court rules eight-inch-tall sausage dog is not a vicious attack dog, and it only took them 11 months to figure that out (pic) (85)
USA Today Interesting Teen gets perfect scores on SAT, ACT. Since this is Fark, you know the rest (307)
(farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 124: "Painting With Light" Details and rules in Boobies. LGT next week's theme (195)

Wed September 19, 2007
( Photoshop Photoshop these footballers and their coach (83)
(Florida Times-Union) Florida Veterinarian extracts 7 inch toy lizard from 12 inch real lizard (56)
The Smoking Gun Dumbass One of O.J.'s "victims" has a felony stalking conviction on his rap sheet (and one horrendous mug shot). The Smoking Gun is there (74)
AP Interesting Army to perform brain tests on soldiers prior to deployment so they can later claim the IED didn't break anything that wasn't already broke (87)
(GamePolitics) Amusing Wacky Jack Thompson says that a certain lawyer in "GTA IV" represents him, and that killing the lawyer in the game is a threat on his life (148)
SMH Cool Mythical global warming is thawing Siberian permafrost, exposing the bones of extinct lions, mammoths and wooly rhinos buried by Noah's Flood almost 3000 years ago (392)
CTV Amusing Even members of Canada's government come to the U.S. when they need medical care. But that's no reason to think that socialized medicine is bad, eh? (314)
CNN Unlikely Spurned husband testifies for polygamist prophet, claims he did everything he could to make his 14-year-old bride happy, even exposing himself in public (70)
AFP Unlikely "Ultra-conservative" member of Christian Social Union wants marriage licenses to expire at seven years (100)
(Some Guy) Stupid Inmate files $3.5 million suit against Martha Stewart, will donate any damages he collects to Rachael Ray. That's a buttload of EVOO (91)
CBC Scary Ontario drinkers face beer shortage as more than 100,000 cans and bottles of Moosehead beer are stolen from trucking facility. Either that, or Drew has switched brands (81)
Seattle Times Followup Man gets fine for putting dead parrots and snakes in his airplane luggage. U.S. Fish and Wildlife dept didn't buy his "pining for the fjords" argument (55)
( Followup Proving that there is no such thing as bad press, Miss Teen SC signs with Trump modeling agency, could make up to $25,000 a day (140)
Denver Channel Followup How many toddlers would you throw at a police officer who was about to arrest you for smoking weed? In this woman's case, it was as many as she could get her hands on (114)
AZCentral Obvious "Courtney Love wants to launch her own perfume but is worried nobody wants to smell like her." Obvious tag retires (108)
(East Liverpool Review) Ironic Alcohol? Check. ATV? Check. Legally blind man channels the spirit of Sonny Bono? You betcha. Twice (31)
Yahoo Followup Search for Steve Fossett ending. Subby ponders how a man who circumnavigated the globe a couple of times, flying over some of the most remote terrain on the planet, could get so lost in Nevada (105)
BBC Obvious 72-year-old grandfather of three can't buy a bottle of wine because he can't prove he's over 21. The Nanny State is still going strong (174)
(WCBS 880) Dumbass Iran's president wants to visit Ground Zero when he's in NYC. Update: When reached for comment, NYPD said DIAF (667)
USA Today Amusing Like a bedbug in the peanut butter, Dan Rather files $70 million lawsuit against CBS (108)
SFGate Asinine Latino grievance group forces Ken Burns to include more of them in his WWII documentary. So he does. Result? They're still really pissed (249)
The Raw Story Scary Israel was all like, "you're going down," and Iran was like, "bring it." But America wouldn't take any of that sass (504)
(Ars Technica) Amusing Not news: Music industry sends DMCA notice to torrent site. News: It's over emails. Fark: The legal response starts "Dearest little Ass-tunnels" and ends with "eaten by Cthulhu" (194)
(HeraldNet) Weird If your poodle Peaches is the one telling you to hold a bus of kids hostage to do a drug bust, maybe you should be the one laying off the drugs (50)
Reuters Obvious Bush and Congress both hit lowest ever approval rates in new poll. And as low as Bush's approval is, it's almost three times higher than that of Congress, which is now less popular than getting a kick in the sack (317)
MSNBC Followup O.J. Simpson makes bail, heads back to Florida to work on all new and different ways of getting mentioned on Fark (63)
USA Today Dumbass Jesse Jackson keeps it real by whining that Barack Obama is not black enough (348)
Washington Post Followup Drycleaner that got sued $67 million for losing pants loses their pants (107) Spiffy If anything good has come out of Al Gore's crusade, it's the Miss Earth Pageant where pretty girls offer green messages in a bikini and tiara (with pic) (67)
(dailymotion) Followup The toothless guy during the OJ press conference is "Jake Byrd." He works for "The Jimmy Kimmel Show" (40)
Starpulse Followup Vanessa Hudgens is considering posing for a men's magazine. Reportedly she's picked FHM so she won't have to trim the 1980s-style hedge growing between her legs (237)
Komo Dumbass Man calls border patrol for assistance in finding his lost cocaine-filled backpacks. Keystone cops impressed (17)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Hot girl-on-alien lesbian sex in new video game will surely not cause any controversy (178)
CNN Obvious Larry Craig gets mixed reaction upon returning to the Senate. Some senators welcomed him, while others maintained a wide stance (118)
Fox News Followup Fark's favorite astronaut back in court today to challenge evidence collected by police. The decision to allow it depends on the judge (52)
C|Net Obvious Comcastic COO says his company feeling pressure from cable and satellite providers for loss of business. Fails to mention lack of any respect or service for customers whatsoever (215)
ABC News Spiffy Hooters opens a franchise in China. Downfall of communism expected any moment (138)
YouTube Dumbass New View host stumped when Whoopi asks her if the world is flat. Galileo, Miss Teen South Carolina unavailable for comment. LGT video (775)
Yahoo Weird Firefighters and forklift remove 900-lb man from home for first time in four years. Gilbert Grape unavailable for comment (123)
Yahoo Spiffy Consumer prices fall 0.1 percent in August. Savings immediately blown on ale and whores (33)
Reuters Amusing Man hides sex toys in sausage for Dubai trip. Oh, those tasty German sausages (60)
(FMQB) Asinine New House Indecency Bill introduced, would require the FCC to take action over any single word or image deemed "indecent." (395)
(WTAE 4) Dumbass Man gets trapped in chimney trying to playing Santa Claus for "girlfriend." Hilarious video of "girlfriend" hitting him with trash can and beer bottles, twice (99)
(My Fox Atlanta) Dumbass Not news: Man attempts to rob store. News: Clerk refuses to give up the cash. Fark: Robber was naked. Bonus: Robber did it because he was bored (29)
IOL Interesting Retiree tells lottery officials he doesn't want a $4 million jackpot because he doesn't know what to do with it (68)
CNN Obvious Amputees now have a website. It's reported that all versions of the login "Stumpy" are already taken (76)
CBS Chicago Dumbass Bail set at $125K for OJ Simpson (195)
St. Pete Times Followup When in the course of human events, it becomes necessary for a dude to be all like "Don't tase me bro" more people need to be all like "WTF?" and "That's totally not cool" (1225)
Yahoo Followup Woman pleads not guilty of the heinous crime of "not watering her lawn" (140)
Yahoo Scary Bank robber grabs toddler and holds him hostage. Luckily, the child was equipped with a smelly dye pack (78)
(Some Really Drunk Guy) Cool Columbus, Ohio Linuxfest FARK Party, Friday Sept. 28th. We're taking over an entire brewing company (77)
Comedy Central Video 1-800-Oops-Jew (55) Cool Today's Fark-ready headline: "Man Says Wild Sex Caused SUV Accident" (59)
Forbes Scary Canadian dollar almost at par with the U.S. peso (240)
(Cambridge Chronicle) PSA If you need a bathroom while riding the Boston subway, you can search for an attendant and beg him to unlock the door. Or you can use the elevator, just like everybody else (34) Amusing Can I get a screw for this engine? TN man tries to trade sex for car parts, oh yeah, his wife works for the po-po (40)
Telegraph Cool Arrr, maties... today be International Talk Like a Pirate Day, so grab ye scurvy wenches an' grab the booty t'ye heart's content (180) Weird "Pornographic magazines and clothes were strewn around the room, and a makeshift sex aid constructed from a Toilet Duck bottle, a piece of wood and a latex glove had also been left behind" (130)
Local6 Florida "Tunick has previously photographed 18,000 naked pope." That's a lot of pope (37)
(Savannah Morning News) Ironic Despite years of covering crime, ex-reporter doesn't know proper technique for robbing banks or avoiding cans of whoop-ass from bank customers (22)
National Review Dumbass News: Amnesty bill is back. A twist: Only for those who had smuggled a child across the border. The child can be 45, would get in-state tuition and the whole thing is buried in a Defense Authorization bill (470)
Denver Post Amusing Hello, Poison Control Center? Tiny high-heeled shoes were glued to my feet by an angry girlfriend while I slept, can't be removed and are beginning to shut down my circulation (63)
(Inside Higher Ed) Interesting Illinois State University changes rules on dress code -- now you won't get kicked out of class, but your grade will be lowered if you don't comply (77)
USA Today Obvious Hardcore gamers end up with high-paying jobs, attract more beautiful mates and are happier in their lives compared to others. Just kidding, they have low grade-point averages and are losers (180)
Free Press Florida Florida Gators' QB Tim Tebow surprised to be teased after his teammate kisses him live on national TV. Will still run and/or pass you over if you get in his way (179)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this expressive bug (81)
MSNBC Sad Elderly are at the highest risk for suicide. Or so the Union Local 218 Brotherhood of Lawn Walkers would have you believe (76)
London Times Obvious Bin Ladens break up. Li'l Osama to keep toaster. High profile couple in divorce/death-threat drama trifecta now live (63)
BBC Unlikely Remaining un-pussified Britons decide to speak out against nanny state keeping DNA records of its citizens (82)
Telegraph Sick British teacher likes his female students the way he likes his whisky: 17 years old, and mixed with coke (188)
London Times Silly You have a rodent problem. Do you: A) Buy an ACME rocket pack mail order? B) Something else totally ridiculous? Or C) Give all the villagers a flute and go totally Hamelin on those rodents' asses? (39)
Daily Mail Amusing Russian leader says Britons are "cheats and bandits"; also says they have bad teeth and enjoy sex with livestock (151)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this simple tireman (42)
( Strange Threesome sex with a guy named Studley is all fun and games until the stabbing begins (47)
Telegraph Interesting Oldest man in the world turns 112, looks pretty much the same as he did as a baby, except with more liver spots (pic) (53)
(Some Guy) Cool Paint and perspective: Clever paint jobs create the illusion of 3D shapes when rooms are viewed from certain angles (86)
(Some Guy) Scary The first rule of 1st Grade Sex Club is don't talk about 1st Grade Sex Club. Second rule: Color inside the lines (251)

Tue September 18, 2007
Local6 Dumbass Man puts live eastern diamondback rattler down his throat to impress friends (with pre- and post-coma pics) (170)
This Is Local London Obvious Teenage criminals are "ideal recruitment material for the Army" says top general, in part because the people whose cars or bikes they stole don't really give a rat's ass if they die (147)
Washington Post Spiffy Colleges start offering double beds in dorm rooms. Reasons include facts that parents spoil them at home, they're getting fatter, and "sometimes they are not in the bed alone." (137)
CNN Sick So THAT is what a pair of $15 whores look like. With mugshot OH MY GOD MY EYES nastiness. No really (427)
(Some Guy) Florida Great. Now they've ruined stripping (56)
Free Press Followup O.J. Simpson charged with 8 offenses, including kidnapping, faces life of getting squeezed in prison (158)
(Some Guy) Asinine TSA trog decides her drama is more important, falsely accuses man of making death theats, makes him miss his flight (210)
(Some Guy) Obvious New York Times to stop charging readers a monthly fee for access to parts of its website. Because, really, what kind of a loser would pay to access a part of a website anyway? (119)
(Some Guys in Robes) PSA Deadline passes / Police respond / With clubs and gasses / Burma Monks (60)
(Some Guy) Obvious Teenagers and adolescents are being maligned by pundits and policy makers to draw attention from the reality that it’s actually middle-aged adults — the parents — whose behavior has worsened in the last 30 years (150)
(Some dusty Wacom tablet) Photoshop Advanced Photoshop theme: Choose one of the four classical elements to represent something normally made of something else. Example: Candle made of water. LGT wiki definition (87)
BBC Sad The Limerick Recycling Department / Found a derelict's makeshift apartment / He napped in a bin / And was sadly still in / When it entered the crushing compartment (103)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man with a checkered pabst crashes Oktoberfest -- literally. The festival-goers barley noticed, since a mobile beer tent was drafted to chill bitter feelings (56)
TBO Florida Man sues because transportation commission doesn't consider his Toyota Prius a limo (90)
(RCR News) Unlikely The wireless industry on cell-phone advertising: "Consumers are excited about the prospect because it will allow consumers to engage the brand and elect to engage in mobile advertising" (189)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles News They say the jury in the Phil Spector trial was hung. And they was right, baby (124)
ABC News Obvious Daily commutes in U.S. getting longer, more expensive. Increasing availability of in-car porn the only upside (149)
AZCentral Asinine Beginning tomorrow, Arizona enacts one of the toughest DUI laws in the country. First offense with a BAC of 0.20% or higher? That's 45 days in jail (553)
Washington Post Obvious Many parents unable to stand up to their obnoxious children. Submitter willing to hand out discipline like Halloween candy (261)
CSMonitor Interesting Woman sues for the right to take her Glock 9-mm pistol with her to work ... at a high school (282)
CBC Interesting Power outage hits 60 percent of Saskatchewan, plunging nearly 500 people into darkness (119)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Calling the power of Fark: UM's "Office of Lesbian Gay Bisexual and Transgender Affairs" says it needs a new name; the current one isn't inclusive enough. Help them think of a new one. VE (434)
Fox News Followup Search for missing aviator Steve Fossett scaled back because, well, he's dead (106)
Denver Post Obvious James Dobson's "Focus on the Family" endorses recent pseudoscientific study claiming it's possible to make gays straight through religious mediation (638)
( Interesting Fed cuts interest rates one-half of a percentage point. Submitter off to buy Ferrari (282)
FARK Survey What's your favorite website which no longer exists? (978)
Denver Post Interesting American laws are slowly shifting to the position that it's okay to smoke pot, but you'd better not grow or deliver it (175)
(SomeBumLooker) Interesting Actual headline: "Uranus at its biggest and brightest this week." Well, thanks for noticing (71)
Yahoo Unlikely OJ Simpson's friend says arrest was a setup, the real killer is still at large, there was a second gunman on the grassy knoll, the moon landings were faked (114)
(Some Guy) Scary One of the suspects in a bizarre California kidnapping case is Wayne "No Nose" Gardner. His mug shot tells no lies (303) Florida Would all states who haven't had an Assistant U.S. Attorney cross state lines for sex with a minor please take one step forward. Not so fast, Florida (132)
(Some Guy) Obvious Man who lives under a bridge in Albany arrested for sending threatening emails to Barbara Bush. Kind of gives new meaning to "trolling" (66)
Detroit News Obvious Female teacher at Christian school in trouble for coveting her 15-year-old student's ass (275)
AFP Sad After careful consideration, eBay has decided to stop the sale of Belgium (117)
Yahoo Amusing Last month: Selling brocolli as pot. This month: Selling vinegar mixed with catfish bait as heroin (47)
Wall Street Journal Weird Tramp stamp poses danger to pregnancy, also known to cause it (496)
(Some Guy) Obvious Miller Genuine Draft TV ad showing people doing tricks on inline skates banned as making MGD "too appealing" to kids. As if (58)
BBC Obvious Nanny state condemns "stunt" where two guys bring mattress home on roof of their car while holding onto it through the windows. In the average American Wal-Mart parking lot, that's called "Saturday afternoon" (pic) (109)
(Some Guy) Obvious Study finds it takes half a second for people to notice a good-looking person. How YOU doing? (155)
Kansas City Ironic Last week: University's student president says the media has unfairly portrayed students as irresponsible, alcohol-fueled and rowdy. This week: University's student president has been charged with drunken driving (48)
(Some Guy) Amusing "I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash ya got. And make it quick, I'm in dutch with the wife" (186)
AJC Obvious "An autopsy is planned to determine what killed a Snellville man who died after being head-butted during a fight with a man with no arms." Some stories were just made for this place (84)
Yahoo Obvious That memorabilia that OJ broke into the hotel room to recover? Yeah, Fred Goldman wants that too (360)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop these sea forts (87)
Yahoo Amusing If you walk your dogs naked, the police would like a word with you (36)
(My Fox Atlanta) Silly "It's so weird, you can't imagine what it's like to look out a glass door and see a zebra trotting down the driveway" (24)
(M.E.N.) Asinine Wussification of the UK continues: “Pupils should set their own exam questions and mark each others' work” (48)
London Times Stupid After 20 accident-free years, guy who fires the Ramadan cannon needs permits from seven different offices, including the bomb squad, the Secret Service and probably the Cirque Du Soleil (65) Asinine Lesbian mums want $400,000 to cope with the burden of being... lesbian mums (188) Interesting Brain operation on boy results in posh English accent. After removing another portion of his brain, says he's doing bloody fine, asks for Vegimite (111)
CNN Scary Dole wants you to toss their salad (70)
CNN Interesting Pop (284)
Metafilter Asinine FU student gets too excited at John Kerry speech, gets tased (1378)
Stuff Amusing Ceiling monkey is watching you wait three hours at customs (19)
Yahoo Cool Older men who sleep with younger women live longer, happier lives... and it's boosting the average lifespan of the human race. She blinded me for science (246)
(electronichouse) Cool Couple turns home theater into Death Star. Vader, Yoda and Skywalker invited to party. Obi-Wan snubbed yet again (65)
SLTrib Dumbass "I don't know if that's something pirates do, if they burn the map after finding the treasure or something" (48)
IOL Weird Man gets bundled into car while walking down the street, gets beaten unconscious, awakens hours later to find he had been robbed of his eyebrows (37)
BBC Obvious O2 wins the UK iPhone contract. Consumers win a crappy signal, inflated bills and viral marketing featuring the voice of Boromir (54)
( Dumbass Darth Vader arrested for assault. With mugshot pic of the Dark Lord (44)
SeattlePI Amusing When in Seattle, be sure to ride the S.L.U.T. (159)
(Daily Times) Weird Remember when your parents told you they had to walk to school barefoot, in the snow, up hill... both ways? It still wasn't this bad. With pic goodness (127)
SacBee Sad College student mysteriously shot to death in front of barber shop. Police have a quartet of witnesses thus far, but nobody's singing (28)
CNN Ironic "Ironic" tag working overtime as ACLU announces support for Larry Craig (257)
X-Entertainment Amusing Strangely, some of this year's best Halloween decorations come from K-Mart at two bucks a pop (39)
Local10 Florida Dumb: Manatee fishing. Dumber: Taping it. Really dumb: Posting it on MySpace (56)
The Scotsman Obvious Man stabbed 29 times for observing that England's soccer team bites the big one, and probably always will. Even though it's true (66)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this fun-loving couple (83) Scary Villagers in southern Peru have been struck by a mysterious illness after a meteorite made a fiery crash to Earth in their area. Somewhere the Crypt Keeper cackles with delight (122)
(Some Guy) Cool Coolest time-lapse picture of a helicopter circling you'll see all day (43) Dumbass Criminal mastermind robs bank where he is a customer, with underwear over head as "disguise" (19)
I-Mockery Cool A look at some Halloween candy prototypes that were unfortunately rejected by Target (34)
CNN Obvious Tattoo removal a booming industry as more and more people find out exactly what that Chinese character they had tattooed on their ass means (189)
(Some Upstart) Photoshop Photoshop technique challenge: Move these protestors to a more interesting location, and change their banner accordingly (63)
(The Orange County Register) Cool Forget about Al Gore and buying carbon credits... just stop driving your car. One California family stopped using their car for six months, and has recouped 35 percent of their income. Another bonus? Dad lost 100 lbs (238)
AFP Dumbass Thief falls asleep while robbing ATM. Hudson Hawk unamused (61)
(Some Guy) Obvious Married couple divorce after pouring out their hearts to each other in online chats befor discovering who they were talking to. Guess they didn't both love pina coladas and getting caught in the rain (170)
Telegraph Spiffy Much like pretentious beer snobs, wine buffs talk trash (125)

Mon September 17, 2007
(Centre Daily Times) Amusing Now you know where that stupid 'smiley face' came from -- blame a Pennsyvlania prof who had a bad computer moment (198)
(660 News) Strange Bear wanders into Calgary hospital, leaves after being told the wait is three hours (94)
CNN Obvious More hard-hitting CNN reporting, "Men more likely to not wash after bathroom use" (298)
(Some Guy) Amusing State senator files lawsuit against God; wants to go to hell but not wait in line with everybody else (158)
London Times Hero Man who saved burning passengers from plane "did not want to be identified as being on the flight, and has refused all media interviews." Naturally, The Times is all over that (108)
Houston Chronicle Spiffy That movie where the chick is emotionally strong enough to make it through life's challenges tops the box office (132)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this rainbow over a desolate Arctic road (86)
Wall Street Journal Followup Bill Belichick can deduct his $500,000 fine as an ordinary and necessary business expense (122)
AP Sad "Brett Somers has ______ at the age of 83." Could you repeat the question please? (141)
(myFOXaustin) Unlikely Family of man who murdered six people says he did it because a snake bit him. Right (61)
ESPN Unlikely Jon Kitna says God healed him at halftime. In other news, God to be confiscated by the NFL, fines will be administered (108) Amusing "However ridiculous it might seem to us, the case of Janet Jackson's televised breast is being seen in the U.S. as raising issues of censorship, free speech, government control and the rights of artists" (94)
Newsweek Interesting A $20,000 camera coupled with a sixty-year-old telescope found to shoot sharper images than the $1.5 billion Hubble telescope (pics) (123)
Yahoo Obvious Further proof that the age of the sentient machine has arrived: Escalators now attacking Crocs-wearers (114)
(TMZ) Sad Reports of contract out for K-Fed's life are untrue (92)
CNN Interesting With nothing else newsworthy to report today, CNN asks us one of the most important questions of our time: Older women, younger men -- does it work? Florida tag seen nodding in approval (159)
(azdailysun) Obvious "Choose Life" license plates stir up controversy, unwanted memories of Wham (248)
Toronto Star Asinine Radical Islamists still going on about that goddamned Mohammed cartoon being blasphemous. Jesus Christ (683)
( Stupid Student newspaper, which last year published commentary piece titled "Rape Only Hurts If You Fight It," decides to go for the gold in latest issue (267)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Cool Bridge-collapse survivor returns bearing gifts, including duct tape, a coat hanger, Super Glue and a midget dressed like a construction worker (50)
1010WINS Cool News: Fire department gets cat out of a tree. Fark: With a high-pressure water cannon (87)
CNN Interesting Blackwater the mercenary company has been kicked out of Iraq. Currently, they are lobbying Dick Cheney to create another Katrina with the weather machine to pick up the slack in the workload (200)
Wall Street Journal Scary If you live in a smaller town, expect to have your airport shut down in the next few years unless the FAA overhauls the entire air-traffic control system. But don't worry -- your government will come through for you (83)
STLToday Interesting St. Louis police chief would appreciate it if the last person in the evidence safe returned the missing $40,000 (33)
Yahoo Followup Iran blasts French Foreign Minister for saying France must prepare for war. Minister explains he was taken out of context while reciting lyrics to Cameo's "Word Up" (52)
BBC Obvious Banana company Chiquita fined $25m for funding terrorists; plans to a peel (120)
(WBZTV) Amusing In an attempt to lure A-Rod to sign next season, the Red Sox have their rookies dress in drag for a flight to Toronto (232)
Yahoo Dumbass Canadian phone-company ad accidentally features Holocaust slogan calling a concentration camp a "gas." The company's executives say they did nazi the phrase before it was published (173)
(Buffalo News) Followup Op-ed: "Today, photos of a naked mayor is barely news." Apparently, the writer has been desensitized by Fark, too (23)
Homestar Runner Amusing The epic battle you've all been waiting for: Limozeen vs. Sloshy (62)
CNN Strange Despite Indian reservations, seller of sacred meteorite expected to net $1 million (153)
AP Amusing Getting stuck in a turnstile with a flamingo should warrant a mention on Fark, even if you are Jack Hanna (45)
Maxim Plug The most realistic video game....evar. (Sponsored Link) (126)
SuperDeluxe Video Fark TV's coverage of Cleavage-Fest... er Dragon*Con. Special appearance by some guy named Drew (176)
Tulsa World Interesting Out-of-control Oklahoma state trooper, or out-of-control Louisanan female driver? You be the judge (197)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this "If you ever encounter a mountain lion..." sign (153)
Fox News Sick Today's "four cats, 11 birds and more than 60 dogs crammed in a U-Haul in rusty cages so that sh*t piles up on the animals below" story brought to you by Arkadelphia, Arkansas (43)
ABC Action News Stupid Scientists discover that the taste of beer isn't important. In other news, researchers apparently all work for Budweiser (301)
(Lincoln Tap Room) Cool Chicago Fark Party reminder thread. Lincoln Tap Room, Saturday Sept. 29th. Just over 2 weeks away to booze-a-lapalooza 2007. LGT Bar in question, more details in thread, let us know if you are coming in here (73)
Boston Herald Amusing Ten-year-old fan in a Red Sox jersey asks Yankee Shelley Duncan for his autograph. Duncan makes sure to inscribe it extra special for the lil' tyke (with pic) (558)
(The Keynoter) Florida Imagine this twinkie is the size of the normal rat activity in the city of Marathon. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie 35 feet long, weighing approximately 600 pounds. That's a giant rat (127)
Yahoo Asinine Increasingly across the country the term "fashion police" is becoming literally true, as people can face up to six months in jail for wearing clothes lawmakers don't like (373)
WFTV Obvious Wal-Mart finally comes to its senses after lawsuit threats, pulls flip flops that burned a woman from their shelves. Ain't cheap Chinese crap grand? (214)
London Times Scary Another sign of the coming apocalypse: The left-handed army is on the rise (248)
(The Columbian) Weird Larry Craig's bathroom becomes a tourist attraction. "We had to just stop and check out the bathroom. It's the second stall from the right." Airport considering painting footprints on floor so tourists can check their stance (61)
Yahoo Sad Today's "man dies after three straight days of online gaming" story brought you from Guangzhou, China (182)
(Fox28) Sad Indiana man picks up the 7-10 split with his car (39)
(Some Guy) Cool When in doubt, use a Samurai sword (62)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop these two men and what they're moving (52)
( Cool Amazing drag-racing wreck video. Driver walks away with only an owie on his nose picker (51)
SLTrib Interesting Police arrest teen who had been vandalizing city walls with quotes and pictures of Johnny Cash (55)
(Durant Democrat) Obvious If you plan on making a briefcase part of a scavenger hunt, do NOT tape it to the slide at an elementary school playground (63) Interesting Pot-smoking cows could stop mad cow disease, make awesome cheeseburgers (54)
The Sun Asinine Man chokes on gold tooth inside Mars bar. Sympathetic company responds by demanding copies of his dental records (pic) (66)
CTV Scary If you took a wounded bat to the Toronto Wildlife Center, good for you. If you are foaming at the mouth and have hydrophobia, the Toronto Public Health Department would like a word (32)
Telegraph Interesting "China's kung-fu peacekeepers head for Darfur" (73)
This Is Local London Obvious How much do you want to bet that the number of gambling addicts has doubled over the last decade? (59)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you are going to stage a robbery, make sure your victim has something valuable and that your getaway vehicle actually runs (18)
(Some Guy) Obvious Two out of five employers believe an "alarming" number of workers are taking days off because they're too hung over to work. This link was submitted Friday, but it took some time for an admin to sober up and find his pants (80)
(Some Guy) Obvious Alabama county that teaches abstinence-based sex education in schools has three times the rate of sexually transmitted diseases than New York City, and boasts of a 60 percent increase in syphilis since 2005 (289)
BBC Scary France warning of war with Iran. Wreak havoc and unleash the dogs of war (502)
(The Age) Dumbass What is worse? Deciding to "moon" out the side of a boat while drunk, or the resulting propeller marks on your head when you fall into the water and the boat runs over you several times? (51)

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