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Sun October 28, 2007 Dumbass If you are parliamentary secretary to the Minister of Transport, you might want to curb your impulse for speed (7)
Independent Interesting Forget Rudy's zero tolerance, it's unleaded gas that did for the mugging capital of America (27)
Daily Mail Unlikely Another way the rich get richer: timing conception to boost their children's grades. Wait, what? (39)
The Sun Scary Usually "drunk" and "virgin" are two words that go great together. Not so much here (42)
YouTube Interesting TV reporters with hidden cameras bring a computer with a $25 defect to various computer repair companies. Turns out that most of the "techs" range from $200 idiots to outright $2000 scammers (182)
(Some Guy Ex G.I.) Sad G.I. Joe is no longer an American Hero (110)
SMH Strange Twins separated at birth reunited after 35 years. With no evidence of Spock-like goatee, scientist unable to determine which twin is evil (81)
(Some Guy) Survey Judging from the way I look, people would NEVER guess that I _______________ (756)
Yahoo Cool It's do or die tonight for the Rox, or it could be the second championship in the last four years for the Sox: Your World Series Game 4 discussion thread (1436)
(Trib Live) Strange "In my opinion, it appears to be a juvenile Sasquatch" (86)
Daily Mail Stupid Old and busted: tattoos. New hotness among idiots: branding. ""It was an incredible experience. There was smoke coming out of my arm and my burnt flesh smelled like a cross between chicken and bacon" (256)
Houston Chronicle Strange General Petraeus cites "mafia-like" criminals as latest threat in Iraq, after finding severed camel head in his bedsheets (51)
(Some Guy) Scary The end of October is a very festive time for residents of Coarsegold, CA. "They're all over the roads." No, not trick-or-treaters. Tarantulas (135)
(Interfacelift) Photoshop Photoshop these aviators (49)
Boston Herald Sad Minorities less likely to Trick or Treat, mainly because everyone refuses to accept the new holiday name Kwanzaween (175)
Stuff Obvious "The typical young tourist that comes here drinks an awful lot of beer, smokes an awful lot of grass, and then takes mushrooms. That's the recipe for disaster" (73)
UPI Silly Muggles protest the opening of a witch school in Illinois (161)
(MetroWest Daily News) Caption Caption this girl (72)
(Some Guy) Cool The undiscovered "Calvin & Hobbes" and other rare Bill Watterson works (99)
Newsday Interesting Captain Underpants blamed for Halloween costume ban (55)
St. Pete Times Interesting "The dirty secret of the information revolution is that much of it is about repackaging other people's stories." Fark's crack journalistic team objects (32)
( Cool Tired of being told to fetch, dog shoots owner. So much for man's best friend (35)
CNN Followup Schwarzenegger vows to find arsonists, will start with everybody whose last name is Connor (52)
Denver Post Obvious Organizers suspect the reason the divorce fair had light attendance was probably because no one wants to be photographed attending a divorce fair (17)
(The E-T) Obvious Roughly one-third of lottery winners find themselves in serious financial trouble or bankrupt within five years (135)
AP Interesting Family finds hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of old coins after great-grandma had apparently been tossing them into a hole in the wall for decades (76)
Scientific American Scary The planet is in the grips of the sixth great extinction in its 4.5-billion-year history (292)
This Is Local London Strange Swedes invent new eco-friendly alternative to cremation: freeze-dry the body in liquid nitrogen, shatter the whole thing into powder, then sift powder to get rid of metal fillings, joint prosthesis and boobie implants. Seriously (104)
ICNetwork Amusing Firemen in hot water over video prank with hose-on-hose action. With YouTube posting goodness (71)
Telegraph Interesting Anonymous UK royal gets blackmailed for hookers and blow. Harry, Harry, Harry (79)
(Some Guy) Stupid Newest Halloween craze: "Trunk or Treating" --Instead of going house to house trick or treating, kids go from trunk to trunk [blank stare] (126)
Baltimore Sun Interesting Cal Ripken to serve as special diplomatic envoy to China. Plan said to include marathon negotiating sessions that just keep going and going until the other side drops and concedes (44)
St. Pete Times Interesting How some guy stole over 130 laptops from offices of major corporations, and how he got caught (127)
(Some Guy) Weird Dallas police on the lookout for a fearsome criminal mastermind: a yogurt-eating bandit. "He thinks he's unstoppable. He goes in, burglarizes the places, he has a snack, and then he leaves" (25)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Used car to drive to college: $4,000. Bachelor's Degree in Journalism: $100,000. Inability to rotate a photo 90º for your newspaper's website: priceless (94) Hero Childhood expert to bullying victims: "Man up, Nancy" (426)
(Some Guy) Amusing From the Some Headlines Don't Need Additional Comment Department: Cooter crisis in Citrus County (33)
(The Times Record) Dumbass Not news: Man runs for the school board. News: He's only 21. Fark: With 18 criminal convictions in the past two years. Welcome to politics my boy, you're off to a grand start (29)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this trigger happy youth, and his big ass machine gun (65)
Boston Globe Stupid As you drive through Boston, admire the $250 million car pool lane that nobody uses because it doesn't go anywhere and isn't any faster than the lane you're in (63)
Seattle Times Caption Caption this Hitchcockian scene (67)
( Weird When she died family members put her in a homemade wooden casket and laid it on two sawhorses in the dining room of her condo. For two days. Welcome to the green funeral (112)
Orlando Sentinel Florida Flight diverted after woman tries to open emergency door over wing. Dragged off shouting something about gremlins (64)
Telegraph Asinine British bureaucracy is laying off circus clowns left, right and center ring, turning them into the crying-on-the-outside kind, I guess (22) Dumbass Not news: Burglar breaks window to get into home. Fark: He slips and cuts his throat on the jagged glass (53)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Craig found in public restroom snuggling with anatomically correct inflatable doll (76)
Wired Amusing LOLZOMBIES (51)
(Northwest Florida Daily News) Florida Son racks up $53,000 tab at strip club; father says dancers exploited him. For $53k, there'd better be sex in the champagne room (115)
CTV Dumbass Emo kids, emo parents, and now emo pastors. Let's all looooove Britney Spears. (HUUUUGGGGSS) (205)
Yahoo Photoshop Photoshop this ecstatic baseball player (67)
ABC News Interesting Inventors of Internet say if they'd known it would be carrying that much porn by 2007, they would have built it to be more robust. No, not Al Gore - the guys who really invented it (157) Stupid Old and busted: Road rage. New hotness: Father and son tag team road rage (29) Followup Rain eases wildfire conditions in California. Tune in tomorrow for hysterical threads about how floods and mudslides are washing the left coast into the sea (54)
(kare11) Dumbass Clerk of court falsifies computer records on 70 of her parking tickets. That's a firing (28)
BBC Hero The last known British survivor of the trenches of WW1, Harry Patch, 109, launches his local poppy appeal (129)

Sat October 27, 2007
CNN Spiffy Five drinking stories that made history (68)
MSNBC Sad Beer prices to increase due to shortage of hops. EVERYBODY PANIC (116)
(Some Guy) Florida Thieves try to explain to police why they were driving a stolen car, but stay quiet about the alligator foot they were carrying (16)
(Courier Post) Cool It just wouldn't be Halloween without the annual Pumpkin Chuckin' trebuchet competition (with pics) (45)
Yahoo Interesting Can the Rockies heat up in cool Colorado? Can Ortiz remember which hand to put the first baseman's glove on? Will anyone other than ticket brokers show up at the game? These stories and a minute with Andy Rooney, tonight in Game Three (1387)
(Some Mom) Sick Teacher of the Year candidate tutors 2nd-graders in 'tasting game': "You wear this blindfold and tell me what flavor is on my banana." Bonus: He had them bob their heads, too (336)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these 1940s housewives (62)
(Consumerist) Asinine TSA Screener breaks guy's laptop, then threatens to arrest him. Why do laptop owners hate America? (531)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Scary Air quality is so bad in Southern California that people are told to "sit quietly at home and watch TV." The arsonists have won (67)
(Some Guy) Florida Not News: Floridian shoots intruder in home. News: Shooter is 75 years old. FARK: He's also legally blind (74)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Oh, those crazy criminals and their "witty" t-shirt slogans. The Smoking Gun is there (138)
Toronto Star Unlikely Bikers complain that "bus knuckles" in road are causing them to crash their motorcycles. Like this is a bad thing (255)
Komo Followup Despite the great story from last week, FBI says Washington State man "is not a viable suspect" in the D.B. Cooper case (38) Followup Policeman, who left his earpiece in to stay in contact in case he was needed, cleared of criminal charges in "sex-on-the-job" case (25)
(Some Guy) Silly The next big threat to America: illegal, unlicensed cheese (95)
(Arthur's Hall) Amusing From the author who brought you the "Ten Manliest Firearms" comes the "Manly Way To Cook Meat." Suck it, veggie lovers (151)
Toronto Star Obvious "The failure of the major media in the United States to cover the extraterrestrial issue is one of the great failures of journalism" (100)
(Buffalo News) PSA The Buffalo News would like to take the time to remind you not to set your clocks back tonight (53)
Yahoo Scary Georgia is not alone - government forecasters say that within the next five years, 36 states will be facing record fresh water shortages. Hey buddy, can you spare a cup of water? (173)
(Some Guy) PSA NY rumored to have started a speed trap program using E-Z Pass detectors hidden along certain stretches of highway. The terrorists have won (164)
(Some Guy) Scary Which is worse, an escaped lion or inbred hillbillies with guns hunting the lion? (73)
Yahoo Spiffy Dutch protesters make bid to save "magic mushrooms." Yes, these are the mushrooms you're thinking about (69)
The Morning Call Interesting Peter Piper pilfered power to produce prolific patch of pot plants. Prosecutors put Peter Piper in prison, prescribe probation as possible post-prison procedure (41)
The Scotsman Followup Government concludes spontaneous combustion of town's appliances caused by aliens (33)
(400 yards of fun) Scary 400 meter run kills boy who tried to run 400 meters then died death while trying to go that far whent he man says "hey go run 400 meters" and the kid says ok and then runs 400 meters then dies (171)
The Newspaper Spiffy Both of the illegal aliens living in Maine are pissed they will have to learn English to get a driver's license (117)
(Some Guy) Amusing Weird news: Lobsters stage mass breakout from supermarket. Farkworthy: Police took them to animal shelter (47)
(Chronicle Live) Amusing Life imitates Reno 911 as police chasing streaker suddenly find themselves pursued by him (with pic of fleeing man buttocks) (40)
( Obvious "When you catch your wife in another man's house wearing only a towel while eating a Chinese take-away there really can only be one thought" (89)
(WMUR 9) Strange Authorities investigate a mysterious green light that illuminated a passenger plane during takeoff. Confused as to why that particular plane was greenlit, and not a better one (62)
Stuff Strange Weird: Woman lost in forest is saved by her ocarina. Weirder: her dog was no help because he only understands Japanesse (84)
(Some Welsh Guy) Dumbass Cops use spy camera to arrest man for making school kids cooler, more popular (25)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this bumpy ball (77)
(Some Guy) Interesting With the West now sufficiently pussified, China is now the land of real men (73)
FARK Cool Boston Fark Party: TONIGHT, October 27th at the Times Irish Bar, Boston. DIT - Come party with your fellow Farkers (34)
MSNBC Sick Man convicted of tossing puppy off balcony in fight with girlfriend will spend next three years tossing salad (518)
(Gothamist) PSA Port Authority now trapping feral cats who are "enemy number one" at JFK airport. With "I can haz bording pass?" photos (475)
(KMBC) Interesting Two-alarm fire strikes vacant bowling alley, nothing is spared, arsonists suspected of making a 7-10 split from the scene (29)
Tulsa World Dumbass Not News: Man commits suicide News: at work Fark: by climbing into heavy industrial machinery, turning it on, and being crushed to death (89)
I-Mockery Cool I-Mockery's Ultimate Guide to the Halloween Candies of 2007. Helllllooooo tooth decay (43)
The Sun Asinine Pub owner faces charges when, after nationwide smoking ban that forced his customers to smoke outside, their smoke drifted into nearby yard and destroyed “natural smell of fresh air” (153)
NBC 11 Cool Not only did a pit bull save her owner during a home invasion robbery, she gave police the DNA evidence to arrest the suspect (100)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fringe (42)
The Sun Cool Man dying of cancer bets bookies that he'll beat longest known survival time for someone with his condition and live until June 1, 2008 – and they give him 50:1 odds (44)
(Some Guy) Obvious Waitress in fish and chip shop wins £1 million jackpot, last heard screaming, "OH MY COD" (pic) (78)
Toronto Star Weird Step 1: Get a cardboard box. 2: And a Glass Cutter. 3. Profit. Fark: Get caught by cops. Double Fark: Cops are impressed with ingenuity of these criminals (38)
The Sun Sad The Magic Is Gone: Emma Watson splits with boyfriend while working on Half-Blood Prince movie (141) Obvious Killer who has spent two decades running from and taunting U.S. law enforcement captured in Canada by rookie Mountie six weeks out of the academy. They always get their man (51)
BBC Sad Dozens killed as floods hit war-torn Congo, even after citizens form a long line to dance their way to safety (37)
(Some Rockies Fan) Cool "A 400-foot hit in Boston travels 440 feet in Denver. A pitch thrown at Coors Field is 6 inches ahead of the same pitch at Fenway Park." (62)
CNN Stupid Actual headline on the front page of CNN: "What to do if your house has ghosts" Strangely, "Put down the crack pipe" not first item on list (168)
(Some Guy) Asinine Wal-Mart employee takes photo of customer's butt with cell phone. Now faces two years in prison (113) Interesting Fat women are more jolly, especially when you bring the flour (98)
ABC News Asinine Teen who can't STFU and her idiot father challenge Illinois law calling on moment of reflective silence at beginning of each school day (422)

Fri October 26, 2007
Daily Mail Hero Six-year-old girl raises £4,000 for cancer drugs to save her dad's life (pic) (61)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Followup Sen. Craig to argue that soliciting in the bathroom is free speech. He wasn't doing that, of course, but you know, if someone else did (121)
MSNBC Silly Nothing quite like a good cold beer, unless of course you count the $1,000 King Richard's Pride cocktail (24)
The Sun Cool British Army raises morale among fighting troops by having Page 3 girls go commando. The Sun is there (SFWpics) (60)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not News: Man steals camera from Circuit City. News: Police have obtained a photo of suspect. Suspect took the photo himself, on a display camera he left in the store (38)
Telegraph Obvious Pets and their owners "are like married couples" and get more alike the longer they live together. You're beginning to crave steak (111)
(Some Gun Happy Guy) Cool The ten manliest firearms in the world. With bonus pic goodness of the author's 9-year-old daughter cradling her very own pink-stocked custom built AR15 (634)
Yahoo Followup Syrian nuclear site that Israel bombed but that was not, according to Syria, a nuclear site is now a barren site with no debris to test (satellite photos) (174)
ZDNet UK Obvious How many bytes in a kilobyte? a) 1024, b) 1000, c) 5% refund (345)
UPI Interesting Boston jail becomes posh hotel. Now if we could just get the rest of the Spice Girls in there (29)
FARK Cool REMINDER: Boston Fark Party, TOMORROW. Farktoberfest 2007 at the Times Irish Bar, Boston. Final Details In Thread. Party Starts at 6 (19)
(Some Alaskan Guy) Interesting Jogger bitten in the ass by bear... or better known simply as Thursday in Alaska (59)
Slate Amusing Best. Advice. Ever (287)
Herald Tribune Florida Governor of Fark's favorite state needs to be invited to the next Tallahassee Fark Party (41)
(Some Atheist) Amusing Coming soon to a bumper near you: atheists now have their own symbol to counter the infamous Christian fish (553)
AFP Strange What do you get the person who has everything? How about an authentic Japanese Buddhist temple (34)
WFTV Florida CVS thieves make off with $800 in Crest WhiteStrips and electric toothbrushes (117)
(Some English) Scary Five Amish teenagers arrested for vandalism spree after late night drinking party. "Authorities accused the suspects of using large rocks to smash the windows and breaking two bird houses in their early morning rampage" (76)
CNN Cool Joining the Mile High Club has never been easier (with disgusting pornographic pic) (172)
(Some Guy) Florida Naked man tries to swim away from police by jumping in Gulf of Mexico. After two hours, realizes he might not have thought his cunning plan through (37)
Arizona Star Dumbass Two teenagers break into a house, discover a shotgun lying around... you're reading this on Fark, so you can imagine why only one of them is now being charged with a crime (147)
UPI Interesting Polish man sues Germany for injuries he received... in 1944 (88)
Fox News Sick Police officer charged with molesting mentally handicapped girls. This is not just an abuse of his authority, it's farking retarded (240)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass News: Hospital sued over misdiagnosis of gall bladder infection. Fark: Misdiagnosed as a case of child molestation by a satanic cult. Whoopsie (119)
Yahoo Amusing Teenager in go-kart eludes seven German police cars. Chief to advocate equipping all police vehicles with red turtle shells (104)
Baltimore Sun Asinine What do you say to a woman with two black eyes? If you're a Maryland judge, the correct answer is "sadomasochists sometimes like to get beat up. Not guilty" (119)
Gizmodo Spiffy New pancake mix spews batter like easy cheese. Peter North, you've now got competition (109)
(Volunteer TV) Dumbass Teacher, student, mugshot, meh (98) Photoshop Photoshop this skateboarding cop (81)
(Some Guy) Obvious Associated Press' Center for the Blindingly Obvious reports rise in cases of teacher/student sex, greenlights on Fark (20)
(WBZTV) Dumbass Woman, hoping to break up an ex-boyfriend's marriage, posts pics and profiles of his wife on various adult websites. Hilarity ensues (83)
Yahoo Obvious Nearly eight out of ten Americans believe there will be a Judgement Day and have "no doubt" that God exists. Suck it, atheists (736)
(Some Guy) Strange Man writes an IOU to his girlfriend for $13,300 if they ever break up. They break up and the court rules he has to pay (64)
Denver Post Strange Bad: Woman stabs man. Good: woman then takes him to hospital. Bad: where she proceeds to rob him (17)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man breaks into his ex-girlfriend's home, falls asleep hiding in her closet. She later discovered him because of the odor of beer. Why did she ever let this charming rogue go? (17)
SLTrib Stupid Utah's Liquor Control Commissioner wants bars and restaurants to cover up their liquor bottles for fear of offending non-drinkers (142)
DallasNews Hero Man in wheelchair disarms and kills invader... chair-mounted shotgun holder to be invented soon (150)
Fox News Sad Houston toddlers test positive for cocaine, slap Charlie Murphy (63)
(Some Guy) Scary "What do you want on your pizza?" "Two cheeseburgers, fries and McNuggets" (130)
CourtTV Amusing Police were chasing an Oregon man when he fled into Idaho -- and then doubled back because he preferred Oregon jails to the ones in Idaho (34)
CBS New York Obvious Ghost expert: New York City perfect environment for unrested souls (147)
(Live Free or Die) Stupid On second thought, maybe nachos would have been better for the Red Sox game-watching party. Instead of heroin (60)
(Some Guy) Strange 52-year-old homeless man found wandering a Kohl's store wearing a pink camisole and panties (95)
( Followup Cancer boy to receive new miniature horse after dogs slaughtered his last one. Higher fences not included (125)
Des Moines Register Strange Man arrested after being found in a restroom lying next to an anatomically correct inflatable doll. This comes three years after getting busted in an alley with a mannequin wearing a bridal dress (54)
(WTvF) Spiffy It's hard to say which is worse: the fact that there is yet another teacher busted having sex with underage students, or the misleading pics on the site that make it seem like it was a hot lesbian threesome (66)
CNN Stupid More recalls of children's items -- this time baby seats -- because people are too stupid to read warnings (86)
MSNBC NewsFlash Turkish Air Strikes underway. Les Nessman wanted for questioning (262)
NCBuy Obvious Man buys Jim Belushi's 2001 Land Rover, then sues him because it's a lemon. Welcome to Land Rover (138)
Time Interesting If all you had was ten minutes, what would you take? (603)
First Coast News Florida 30 yr old woman has sex with 16 yr old boy. The police said her "story is unique. One reason why, the suspect is a woman." The police obviously don't have a Fark account... or a TV... or a newspaper... or a clue (164)
Washington Post Dumbass FEMA sends staffers impersonating reporters to press conference on California wildfires to lob softball questions at officials about what a great job FEMA did (157)
Telegraph Strange A man has been placed on the sex offenders’ register after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. Dude, you're doing it wrong (138)
(Some Truthiness Guy) AudioEdit Now that Stephen Colbert is running for president, create a campaign commercial for him. Bonus points for making up new words (23)
CNN Followup Supreme Court of Georgia says teen sex conviction "cruel and unusual" punishment (276)
BBC Interesting England to begin HPV vaccinations in all school girls starting at age 12. Of course, we in the U.S. know that this will result in a generation of sluts (380)
Yahoo Scary Navy fires nuclear submarine commader after discovering he failed to do safety checks on his boat's reactor for almost six months, was mean to Denzel Washington (229)
Yahoo Obvious Oil reaches $92 a barrel on news that every car in the world is powered by it (172)
Local6 Stupid Man goes into a burning building and rescues two people, comes out, passes out, and then is arrested (91)
Sun Sentinel Florida Man and woman get into fistfight in the middle of a busy interstate on-ramp. Oncoming car turns it into a draw (60)
Daily Herald Hero Surgeon removes "inoperable" brain tumor from 7-year-old girl (95)
(NY Daily News) Sick Your patient starts foaming at the mouth and loses consciousness in your dental chair. Do you: a) start medical treatment, b) call 911, or c) dump her at the curb like garbage? (85)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these movie goers (76)
Daily Mail Interesting Evolutionary theorist states that humans will split into two species within 100,000 years. Good: Bigger penises. Bad: Morlocks (476)
(Some Guy) Florida Man jailed after biting off his roommate's ear. Mike Tyson not impressed (11) Stupid Japan plans to fingerprint and photograph all foreign visitors in an effort to fight terrorism (129)
AJC Hero Father of fallen Marine is suing the attention whores at the Westboro Baptist church for protesting his son’s funeral (316)
Yahoo Cool Pumpkins can grow in trees. Who knew? (45)
BBC Interesting Oil prices surge to a record high on news of free tacos from Taco Bell (41)
BBC Sad Man attends Robbie Williams concert, returns to hotel, is electrocuted in shower. Girlfriend says he let out this horrible scream and then went expressionless. Says the backing band weren't much better, either (65)
UPI Asinine "A federal agency has banned flag-folding recitations at U.S. veterans cemeteries after a complaint over religious content." (397) Obvious Number of young people smoking pot in Britain plunges in three years after government decriminalizes small amounts and it's no longer cool and edgy to be a stoner, just stupid (156)
AP Strange Suspected cannibal refuses to make plea, says eat me (27)
CBS Minneapolis Spiffy Boy born without one gets a new one torn for him by doctor, for free. It is remarkable (93)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles PSA No, Diego, No! (62)
MSNBC Followup AP provides happy ending to reporterette: "Red tape hampered initial fire efforts: nearly two dozen water-dropping helicopters and two massive cargo planes sat by, grounded by government rules and bureaucracy" (111)
(Some TFette) Photoshop Photoshop this vampire slayer (95)
ABC News Dumbass Traffic in Illinois' largest state park brought to a standstill as line idiots drive around barricades and sink their vehicles in a freshly-poured concrete road (189)
WJRT Cool ABC in L.A. is holding a fire relief drive Friday, so donate what you can, and even meet Ric Romero. For those who don't know what donating is, Ric will explain it for you (60)
Newsday Obvious Minneapolis bridge collapse survivors want a 9/11 type fund (146)

Thu October 25, 2007
Yahoo Asinine Al-Qaida furious at Al-Jazeera for Al-lowing excerpts of Bin Laden criticizing mistakes by insurgents (111)
(Taco Bell) Cool Thanks to Jacoby Ellsbury stealing a base, everyone gets a free taco from Taco Bell on Oct. 30th from 2-5pm (127)
NBC 11 Interesting Holy Guacamole. Start budgeting for the Super Bowl Party. Because of the SoCal fires avocados are going to cost a $1.50 or $2 each. A third of all California avocados were destroyed (152)
St. Pete Times Florida The cake was lovely, with two brides on top. The flowers were a pretty shade of inmate request form pink. Eight officers were disciplined after two inmates wed (93)
(WSBTV) Amusing Police officer issued a ticket to City Hall for violating the city’s outdoor watering ban (43)
AP Obvious President Bush lands at Miramar to tour fires, calls on Miramar leadership to stop cracking down on monks (123)
St. Pete Times Followup Oopsies, school suspended female student for accusing special ed teacher of having sex with disabled student two weeks before teacher's arrest (96) Stupid One-third of Americans say they believe in stupid and irrational crap including UFOs, ghosts and chiropractic _______ (695)
Canoe Scary Two all beef patties special sauce lettuce cheese pickles onion hepatitis on a sesame seed bun (87)
(Times Herald Record) Dumbass Indictment: Man drove drunk, with an open container, the wrong way on a four-lane road, with his two-year-old daughter in the car, unrestrained, with expired insurance and registration and no license. Yahtzee (113)
(Some Guy) Florida Forty-seven treated for pepper spray exposure after deputies break up high school girl fight. That's some fine police work, Lou (78)
CBS News Spiffy US Postal Service unveils new Yoda stamp. Unfortunately they went with young Yoda design and not the bloated, drugged out, performing in Vegas, dead-on-a-toilet Yoda (63)
AJC Strange FAA and Air Traffic Controllers continue to up the ante in feud over poker table (46)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this old John Deere (58)
(Some Guy) Obvious "There are a lot of military people who think women in combat is a horrible idea, but it's career suicide to say it" (535)
(Some Guy) Weird A man whose dying wish was to be buried along with his mobile phone has to be dug up again after his family discovered they had forgotten to insert his SIM card. Whoopsie (67)
MSNBC Followup Florida joining Alabama in water war against Georgia. The Georgian War of Water Aggression begins (144)
Yahoo Caption Caption this unusual encounter (191)
DallasNews Sad The Dog of Peace and Mercy has struck again. This time, the victim is a miniature horse donated to a cancer stricken child (379)
(Some Guy) Obvious Nearly 25% of Americans think the Internet can be a replacement for a significant other. "Why computers are better than women" list starts in the thread to the right (410)
The Onion Amusing Terry Francona announces that Josh Beckett will start games 1, 4, 7, 2, 6, 3, 5 (118)
Telegraph Weird "Human pincushion" saved by doctors after parents insert 26 needles into her in attempt to change her sex (this one's got pics, X-rays, everything) (186)
WJRT Weird Man who recently painted a nude Mozart and stuck feathers in it is pressuring officials to remove a 20-year-old nude Jesus from a public square (60)
AP Sad Recovering alcoholic breaks down in a Wal-Mart and starts drinking bottles of Jack Daniels Lynchburg Lemonade from the shelf. Who among us hasn't wanted to get drunk inside a Wal-Mart? (162)
(Buffalo News) Spiffy Twin ugly-ass two-pound baby tigers born at the Buffalo Zoo. (with cute-ass pics) (81)
MSNBC Interesting Cosmo has seven new rules for dating. In a nutshell, they want women to be more like a selfish biatch (374)
(Live Free or Die) Interesting City knocks down illegal campsite, homeless dude who built it sues city for damages (57)
(Fundieville, GA) Stupid City refuses donation towards new fire truck because donor's shop sells sex toys (117)
( Interesting Here we go again. Another hot teacher jailed for sexing up a student. With mug shot evidence of hittabililty (196)
(Some Guy) Asinine Men looking for casual sex are most likely to try to get some from girls named "Kelly", according to the stupidest survey ever. Not that it's stopping the media from running with it (461)
(Some Guy) Florida Zero tolerance gone wild: Man arrested at grocery store for eating 10 jelly beans (236)
(KSAT) Stupid Man convicted of 1992 murder when he was 12 and already in jail for 16 years has appeal hearing, re-sentenced to 40 years instead of 27. Whoops (217)
St. Pete Times Florida In a new low, even for Florida, a 33-year-old teacher has sex with her mentally disabled 16-year-old student (126)
(Your Brother This Day) Spiffy Today is St. Crispin's day, we happy few, we band of Farkers (187)
STLToday Amusing St. Louis tourism officials create new slogan only to find out it is already the slogan for two other cities. Let's help them come up with a new, never-before-used slogan (293)
STLToday Dumbass It's all fun and games when you let your 11 year old ride her bike down the hill on the street without a helmet. Then someone gets hurt and it's a $27.5M lawsuit. Fark: because the street had a hill and guideposts (339)
(Rasmussen Reports) Amusing Stephen Colbert polling 13% in a three-way race against Hillary and Rudy. Take THAT Ron Paul (565)
Comedy Central Amusing "Oh well all you have to do is tap your heels together three times." "Really?" "No you f**king dips**t that was a joke." (245)
Fox News Misc Minor earthquake hits small obscure CA town, causes no damages or injuries yet stays on FoxNews Main page for two days. Subby points at a book about MSM by a less obscure Kentucky author as the explanation (58)
AP Obvious Pentagon claims that military personnel in Iraq should be under military command for some damn reason or other (70)
Pravda Weird Dolphins used to look like humans and lived in Atlantis (127)
Yahoo Silly Sam Adams upset at Sam Adams for using the name Sam Adams (146)
Daily Herald Amusing The bull moose and the hunting decoy: a love story (27)
Yahoo Amusing I would have come up with a witty headline but my car just hit a water buffalo (62)
USA Today Cool Been waiting for a minivan that says, "Yeah, I'm a badass"? Well, Toyota wants to talk to you (378)
CNN Obvious Gulf of Mexico accident kills 18 oil workers, which is the equivalent of an additional $7 per barrel (24)
Local6 Florida Family's decorative Halloween spider web catches 6 year old. This is why we can't have anything creepy (73)
SLTrib Strange Russian immigrant lving in Utah accused of using Australians to kill New York man in Thailand, based on evidence found by a man going through records in Florida on behalf of a Canadian investor who lives in Spain (81)
(Florida Today) Scary NASA just informed the shuttle/station crew that a chunk of ice struck the shuttle at liftoff (213)
Houston Chronicle Obvious The guy who tagged his teacher has been outdone. By the guy who tagged his principal (with happy birthday pic) (126)
AJC Stupid Who is the worst person in the world? Hint: he can "bench/squat/leg press 1200 lbs.," "was in 14 major motion pictures," and nobody gives a Fark (837)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop Ingredient: Cheese (47)
(Some Unemployed guy) Dumbass New School Bus Driver Rule # 12: When your bus breaks down, DON'T kick the kids off the bus for being noisy and then pull away without them. FAIL (60) Stupid Grenade-throwing practice. 1) pull the pin, 2) let it cook off a bit ... wait for it (94)
Boston Herald Interesting Presidential candidate suggests that students pursuing worthless degrees should get less financial support. You submitted this with a more elegant headline inspired by your degree in classical English literature (687)
Marketwatch Interesting The Airbus A380, which promises to allow airline companies to push customers to previously unimaginable levels of cattledom, completes its maiden voyage (116)
(Some Guy) Strange Joseph Stalin ordered a biologist to create a race of half-man, half-ape soldiers called "humanzee" who would be "insensitive to pain, resistant and indifferent about the quality of food they eat." Dr. Zais approves (185) Sad Terri Irwin admits she misses Steve's One-eyed Trouser Snake (160)
(SF Reporter) Strange "I went in the 6-foot vulva costume and gave away invitations to our camp, where we were giving away free oral sex" (88)
(IndyChannel) Sick Whiskey Toddler Foxtrot. Mom gives 4-month old daughter baby bottle with whiskey, to make her stop crying. (with non-MILFy mugshot) (167)
(Some Guy) Sappy Late season baby-boom at Knowsley Safari Park (with ugly-ass pic goodness) (10)
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: School bus driver tests positive for marijuana use. News: She's blaming the results on secondhand smoke... from the kids who ride her bus (40)
Yahoo Interesting Miners to be taught about menopause to increase their sex life and make them better workers. Miners, not minors (26)
(New India Press) Unlikely Carnivorous trees have started eating cows in India. No really (173)
(Statesman Journal) Cool Parents of Oregon middle school students give the finger to new fingerprint payment system (67)
The Sun Amusing Mother pig stops traffic by feeding piglets in the middle of a busy street (w/ boar-ing pic) (27) Amusing Factory worker now facing daily snickers from co-workers over his huge $1200 Dumbledore back tattoo. "It seemed like a good idea at the time" (166)
(KXII) Strange Woman driver asks male hitch hiker for oral sex. Then it gets weird. Really weird (183)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these bullets (42)
(Some Guy) Interesting Georgia and Alabama are about to go to war over who should get water (126)
(Some Finn) Weird Nelson Mandela once saved the prime minister of Sweden from a vicious restroom tongue lashing. Everybody gets one (26)
Reuters Followup Prostitutes sew lips together, business down by 50% (63)
ABC News Weird Execution of terminally-ill inmate in Alabama inmate halted because execution might not kill him (103)
(Some Guy) Scary Church offers Jesus-friendly alternative haunted house for kids this Halloween, featuring walk-through scenes of the horrors of drugs, alcohol, abortion, self-mutilation, and more (209)
Yahoo Silly Mom driving van of teenage cheerleaders pulls up next to boys driving SUV, who pass the girls a beer. Predictable outrage ensues (86)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 129: "Powers of Two" Details and rules in Boobies. LGT next week's theme (181)

Wed October 24, 2007
Houston Chronicle Stupid Having rid the city of all crime and poverty, Dallas targets droopy drawers (99)
WJRT Dumbass If you were charged with a DUI in Chicago during the past 5 years, you might be off the hook. Fark party in 3... 2... 1 (76)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this... very wrong... photograph (266)
Reno Gazette-Journal Obvious "Plus-sized" club opens in Reno with rousing chorus of "Baby Got Back." Submitter stocking up on flour (310)
Fox News Obvious Hillary Clinton says that dental surgery makes Bill horny. List now includes everything on earth (62)
BBC Scary Russian serial killer found guilty of 48 murders, bit pissed as he wanted to commit 64, one for each square of the chessboard. With creepy-ass pic (113)
First Coast News Florida Surrogate mom tells couple, "Just kidding, I'm actually keeping the baby for myself" and wins full custody of the child in question. The father is considered a sperm donor and therefore has his paternal rights terminated. Riiight (173)
(Some Guy) Spiffy San Francisco Fark Party Tues. 11/13 @ 9pm. This will be a private party for Farkers - bar will be closed to the public for the night. LGT venue details (52)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this big mouth (72)
NYPost Spiffy Durex looking for male and female condom testers, should be a very hard job so you should come early. Penis (121)
(Pittsfield Gazette) Silly To comply with federal education law, fourth graders draft constitution for class. List of rights includes extra recess time (50)
(ksl) Cool Despite being 5'4" and 110 pounds, the mayor of Ogden, Utah tackles a bicycle thief, puts him in a headlock, and holds him until police arrived. Next up, a fight to the death with Chuck Norris (80)
(The Jewish Bugle) Scary Iran to buy 24 Chinese fighters based on Israeli technology stolen from the United States (194)
( Interesting Wendy's and Panera pronounced favorites in fast food faceoff. In-And-Out Burgers demands a recount (271)
(Times Dispatch) Spiffy Mother and daughter join the Army together. With MILFish picture goodness (188)
ESPN Cool Rox v. Sox - David v. Goliath. Bring it on. World Series game one discussion thread (1872)
Boston Globe Florida Not News: Lawyer arrested for sexual assault. News: He's already facing charges in two other cases. Fark: He was named one of People Magazine's "Most Eligible Bachelors" (52)
MSNBC News MSNBC reporting tsunami warning off coast of Indonesia after 7.0 quake (97)
Stuff Scary The wrath of God inficted on New Zealand couple... brought to you today by the wind, an earthquake, and the letter H (36)
(Some Guy) Hero Hero sex offender rescues three-year-old Omaha boy who wandered away from his house in middle of the night. "Nothing happened to the child. The child is safe," say police (245)
Fox News Stupid Students wear empty holsters to school to protest campus rules prohibiting guns. Article includes a pic worthy of being the next cover for "Internet Tough Guy Magazine" (469)
ABC News Followup Fire could burn up last remaining power link to San Diego, plunging city int (149)
Daily Mail Asinine ♫ Who can tell a driver / Parked outside a school / Move your car 'cause where you are is not within the rules... Oh, the lollipop man / But the driver flipped his lid and beat the old guy good ♫ (60)
The Register Asinine FCC wins right to let telcos charge whatever they like to ISPs. There goes your cheap Internet access. Suck it "free market" (145)
Drudge Obvious New Republic Iraq diarist exposed to be a complete and total fraud. Those who believed it exposed to be complete and total idiots (162)
SLTrib Amusing Investigative journalist uncovers seedy underworld of mac-and-cheese, from $4 "cheezy" noodles to $22 baked farmhouse cheddar and bacon macaroni. Farking kraftheads (122)
Yahoo Interesting Argentina's first lady is a 20-point favorite to win the upcoming presidential election; if you can imagine something so crazy (66)
STLToday Dumbass Mayor of tiny St. Louis suburb famous for videotaped police encounter resigns after being arrested for drug possession (64)
(Daily News Journal) Dumbass Man's fledgling babysitting career on the skids after the three-year-old he was watching was found a mile away, zipping through heavy traffic on his Big Wheel (45)
MSNBC Followup Investigation rules that Officer Bro was correct to taze the asshat that interrupted John Kerry (382)
(Wikipedia) Stupid It's United Nations Day... did you remember to send your loved ones a strongly worded letter? (78)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #10 (940)
SFGate Obvious This generation's little snowflakes are dumber than rocks, and there's plenty of blame to spread around (644)
CBS News Stupid This month's Space Shuttle launch problem seems to be a case of singed wings (89)
USA Today Amusing Terrorist watch list swells to more than 750,000 names. Security forces are on the lookout for Ivana Pee and Richard Cranium. Heywood Jablowme unavailable for comment (234)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Cool Man beats 67 million to 1 odds by making two holes-in-one in same round of golf. Too bad he got hit by lightning during the best round of his life (89)
(Shiny Sheet) Florida What do you think counts as rich? Some say a car that runs or a luxury car, but in Palm Beach, $50 million is considered just comfortable (112)
Daily Mail Hero Gas station cashier tells gun-toting robber that she's "too busy" to deal with him. "British people don't stop work just because someone is trying to bully us with guns" (pic) (75)
Excite Florida Today's "alleged" thief stuck in an airshaft brought to by the letters F and L, and the number 10. Claims he was "trying to chase the cat." Well now, haven't we all? (w/pic goodness) (58)
Fox News Strange Wild turkeys running amok throughout Boston and the suburbs. Jim Beam and Jack Daniels still under control (78)
(How Appealing) Interesting Court strikes down age verification requirements for porn sites, as a First Amendment violation (159)
Fox News Florida If you’re a not-hot teacher that’s bangin’ a 15 year old student, at least wait until he has a driver’s license before letting him use your car (183)
Telegram Photoshop Photoshop this creepy guy's collection of citrine stones (87)
AP Asinine Another day, another fashion police law enacted in Lousiana (231)
SuperDeluxe Video Turns out there was a reason nursing home cat knew when elderly were checking out. Purina now considering fava bean & chianti offering (89)
(Some Guy) Sad The family that slays together, stays together (227)
Boston Herald Strange "Duck and cover" may return to city schools... only not because of bombs (95)
MSNBC Florida Deputy suspended for attending popular cole-slaw wrestling event. And people wonder why Fark has a "Florida" tag (77)
ABC News Stupid Campaign law may make Stephen Colbert's presidential campaign illegal because he's sponsored by Doritos ... seriously. Also, couldn't anyone at ABC find a current photo of a bag of Doritos? (315)
Local6 Florida City to arrest people wearing masks on Halloween after rash of robberies by men wearing masks (61)
CNN PSA We have reached peak oil output. Enjoy your SUVs while you can, America. In another 20 years you won't have them anymore (590)
UPI Stupid Noose tied around neck of Tupac statue at The Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts. In other news there is a Tupac Amaru Shakur Center for the Arts (294)
Boston Herald Obvious If you want to know what police really think of civilians, read the paper. The police union newspaper (309)
Chicago Tribune Weird Bird-watchers and gay men seeking sex are in conflict over how better to use a Chicago park. We dub this conflict: The Pecker Wars (277)
(Some Guy) Florida Police report "squabbling" between long-time 18-year-old enemies was cause of Mullet Festival stabbing. That's some fine police work there, Lou (216)
Newsweek Interesting Interesting interactive satellite map of the California wildfires (88)
Bangor Daily News Amusing Police seek man after fight with sister in cat-shaving case (61)
St. Pete Times Stupid Parishioner awakes to find Baptist minister undressing him. "The first thing that came to mind from my military training was to snap his neck" (174)
Fox News Florida Reporter investigating story on school violence arrested for carrying loaded gun onto school property. Dumbass and Ironic tags both lose out to Florida tag for this one (40)
Yahoo News Turkish military forces strike targets in Iraq. George Bush scrambling to find out if the "you break it you bought it" Doctrine is transferrable (218)
Yahoo Followup Woman who stabbed her lover during an alcohol- and drug-fueled sexual tryst gets ten years in prison (81)
BBC Interesting Chinese moon mission somehow fails to explode into tiny particles of asbestos, lead paint and toxic chemicals (89) Hero "A barmaid has been fined for crushing beer cans between her bare breasts while an off-duty colleague has been fined for hanging spoons from her friend's nipples" (206) Interesting Man sentenced to five years in jail for digital rape, about to learn how how many times a l can go into his O (168)
(Lansing State Journal) Silly Coming up next - we ask the police and mayor if Lansing, MI is prepared for a zombie attack. We report, you deciBRAAAIIINS (134)
MSNBC Sappy Photographer clearing out some old stuff finds 27-year old wedding album of couple who couldn't afford it back then and sends it to them (129)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #9 (thread closed - please see new thread) (894)
(Sun Journal) Stupid Goth kids sent home from school for their "makeup" (pics). Subby doesn't know whether to write a poem in protest or to just start cutting (288)
(wkyt news) Amusing Thief in Lexington makes clean escape with 100-lb. safe from restaurant, next door to police station and court house (with video goodness and the Pink Panther theme) (23)
Telegram Photoshop Photoshop this goalie (67)
Yahoo Interesting Oy Gevalt! Yiddish making a comeback (101)
(Some Guy) Strange "Believing the older man had left the restroom, the employee was surprised when he felt a hand on his side and turned to see the man masturbating." Makes your day at work seem a heck of a lot better (58)
Computerworld Dumbass If you steal a drivers license printer from the state of Missouri don't call the manufacturer looking for software (27)
SFGate Sad Inventor of Rice-A-Roni dead at 92. No word yet if he'll be buried, cremated, or just simmered with a side of chicken (63)
Yahoo Scary W.Va. leads nation in pregnant smokers (143)
MSNBC Obvious Teen smokers five times more likely to drink, be cooler than you (114)
Yahoo Asinine Teacher may face criminal charges after student picks Cormac McCarthy's "Child of God" -- a book about a killer who has sex with the bodies of his victims -- off a reading list he prepared for the class (322)

Tue October 23, 2007
AFP Interesting Ancient copy of Koran fetches record price. In related news, barbecue at White House tonight (105)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #8 (thread closed; please see new thread) (745) Spiffy Wisconsin man unearths 3.97 carat sparkler at Arkansas' Crater of Diamonds State Park. Fiancee finds her own 1.49 carat rock. "We're going back out today. We'll take a lunch and then go back into the field." Greedy bastards (68)
Stuff Misc Ugly-arse baby chimp born at Wellington Zoo, and zookeepers have no idea who the father is (with pic) (63)
The Newspaper Asinine Virginia State Police want you to know you can be given a $2,500 ticket for something 71 percent of drivers have no idea is illegal (322)
(Some Skater Boi) Photoshop Photoshop this silver-gloved speed skater (60)
Newsday Hero Tiny, female, axe-swinging convenience store clerk scares off armed robber. With video (105)
WRAL Asinine Man wrongly sent to prison for 18 years is paid $360K for wrongful imprisonment, gets sued for back payment for child support. Guess how much (236)
(Inquirer) Dumbass ♫ You can dance if you want to, you can leave your clothes behind. But your friends won't dance, and if they won't dance, you'll be doing time ♫ (58)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #7 (thread closed, new link in comments) (933)
Baltimore Sun Scary Judge tosses out fingerprint evidence in murder trial because the century-old science is unreliable... wait, what? (159)
ABC News Asinine Military personnel deployed to war battle to keep custody of their kids. If only there were some law protecting service personnel from ruthless ex-spouses in such situations (185)
( Dumbass Not news: Student taped to a pole. News: Student changes mind and says he agreed to taping. Fark: Student cited for obstruction of justice (106)
(Blackpool Gazette) Interesting Court ponders: What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor? What shall we do with the drunken sailor, early in the morning? (88)
Rocky Mountain News Followup Colorado Rockies World Series Ticket Fiasco, Day 2 (227)
Mercury News Scary Southern US States facing drought conditions barely noticed by the ... OMG the natural spring feeding Jack Daniels Distillery may go dry. EVERYBODY PANIC (211)
ABC News Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #6 (thread closed, see new thread) (869)
(Some Gal) Asinine Interesting: Coed with big boobs auditions for Playboy. Sad: She rejects their offer to pose. Asinine: She only did it for an article in the school paper about "the sanctity of nudity." And to tell us how cute she is (913)
Google Photoshop Halloween Photoshop Challenge: create your own jack-"O"-lantern (93)
ABC Action News Florida Idiot takes dive off bridge, lives (with redneck bridge diving video fun) (114)
Yahoo Obvious New study shows that if you deprive someone of sleep, their brain will run amok. Amok amok amok purple monkeys supercilious fandago Sherwood Shwartzebie zooboomafoo (163)
Newsday Dumbass NJ to alter phrasing in its state constitution originally adopted in 1877: "No idiot or insane person shall enjoy the right of suffrage." Citizens rejoice in finally being able to vote (151)
AP Interesting $1.2 Billion will buy 4.1 million Nintendo Wiis, or 850,000 LCD televisions, 35,000 Jaguar X types, or 0 hours of police training in Iraq (187)
(Bangkok Post) Cool British engineer gets the rock star treatment -- including limousines and hot women -- after translation error causes Russian media to think he was in the Rolling Stones (56)
Fox News Florida Subaquatic cucurbita moschata ornamentation (43)
(WSB-TV) Hero It’s a dog-bite-rapist world out there (145)
(Honolulu Star-Bulletin) Unlikely Dude, your mom totally just chased me down in a golf cart (40)
(Some Guy) Followup In rare display of common sense, city votes to not reappoint judge in $54 million pants lawsuit (189)
Space Interesting Entrepeneurs sense "sea change" in commercial space -- which is stupid because seawater would just boil away and/or turn to ice out there (42)
(Times of Malta) Dumbass Sure, it's fun to answer the door naked from the waist down and holding a bar of cannabis resin, but that's exactly what the police are waiting for (65)
The Register Stupid Not wanting to be outdone by their "million dollar bill" American counterparts, cunning British criminals attempt to pass fake £500,000 notes (32)
( Sad Nekkid Halloween party called off when fat ugly neighbors don't get invites (157)
BBC Interesting BBC answers age old question: is it right for disabled people to roll with prostitues? (71)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #5 (thread closed, see new thread) (838)
(Times Dispatch) PSA Tying your dog up for more than an hour while declawing your cat, circumcising your son, and putting your toddler in a harness will now result in a fine in Richmond, VA (116)
(Albany Times Union) Followup Airline passenger who asked flight attendant for band-aid to put on his gunshot wound may or may not have actually been shot (20)
CBS Baltimore Asinine Driver is stopped for having too many air fresheners in his car. He says he was stopped because he is Hispanic (230)
Fox News Hero Boy Scouts build a stretcher, carry injured hiker three miles to safety. Always prepared (166)
( Cool Space Shuttle Discovery waiting-for-the-explosion launch discussion thread (283)
Kansas City Obvious Venezuelan strongman Hugo Chavez unveils monument to late murderous revolutionary Che Guevara. Monument is made of glass. Local citizens do the obvious shortly thereafter (pic) (730)
Yahoo Cool Who's your favorite honkey? Hint: he was buried with a donkey... and he's returning to the U.S. next year (80)
(Some Guy) Obvious You simply get chills every time you see these evacuees - so many of these people, almost all of them that we see, are so rich and so white (293)
Yahoo Stupid Guy Fawkes bonfire event banned in Guy Fawkes' home town. Looks like it's time to blow up Parliament again (212)
Chicago Sun-Times Interesting Rural Maryland town seeks to pass zoning amendment, which wouldn't normally be news except for the fact that they're doing it to prevent a Mosque from being built in the town (213) Sad Fire at illegal Chinese shoe factory kills 37 workers. May God have mercy on their soles (70)
Yahoo Strange Bear enters house, and leaves without making a mess. It did eat some muffins though (48)
Daily Mail Amusing Winner of Miss England told to "fatten up" if she wants to be crowned Miss World, because she's only a size 8 waif (yeah, there are pics) (325) Obvious Critic slams misleading headlines, says taglines that make fun of subjects and demean people "debases the English language and degrades discourse." Submitter slinks silently away (41)
Yahoo Interesting NY lawmakers to test freedom of [hate] speech (186)
(This is Lincolnshire) Strange Proving once again that there can be a black market for anything, robbers make off with over 770 pounds of potatoes in daring and hernia-inducing night raid (33)
Daily Mail Obvious Average adult in Britain drinks 37 bottles of whiskey a year. Drew sneers at the amateur hour they've got going across the pond (80)
Reuters Florida Technicians begin fueling shuttle Discovery in anticipation of today's explo.. er.. launch (57)
(Sowetan) Amusing Some stories are made for Fark. Like a lesbian cop accidentally shooting her bride-to-be in the buttocks while drunk (77)
(WND) Spiffy Happy 6,010th birthday planet Earth (555)
(HeraldNet) Dumbass Your school is in lockdown for five hours; do you: A) Sit quietly and read? B) Demand information? Or C) Incite chaos by setting fire to teddy bears in class and taping students' hands together? (36)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption rock legend Robert Plant and Jessica Simpson's meeting of the minds (135) Cool Man levitates in front of White House (with video) (116)
Daily Mail Amusing 3 year old Harry Potter fan + traffic cone "wizard hat" = 1/2 hour, 6 fire fighters and a priceless pic (99)
Reuters Followup Southern California Fires - Discussion Thread #4 (thread closed, see new thread) (972)
(Some Climbing Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this brave rock climber (56)
AP Dumbass Robert Chambers, the "Preppie Killer," arrested again in NYC (40)
JSOnline Spiffy Teens steal a truck, run from police going as fast as 95 mph, throw firewood at the pursuing cop cars, crash through locked zoo gates, and then take a taxi to get back home. Ta da (24)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Words a young man visiting the zoo would soon regret: "I’m not afraid of a panda, I know karate" (65)
SFGate Scary Continent-sized toxic stew of plastic trash fouling swath of Pacific Ocean (136)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Painting found in garbage pile could sell for over one million dollars. I ♥ New York (59)
BBC Interesting This week's celebrity internet sex video scandal brought to you by.... Vietnam (83)
(New York Magazine) Interesting Has the identity of legendary plane hijacker/parachuter D.B. Cooper been discovered? (112)
ABC News Sappy News: Firefighter saves kitten by giving it CPR. Fark: He saved a dog's life the same way last year (60) Interesting Smoking to lose weight a pointless exercise. Here comes the science (74)

Mon October 22, 2007
Reuters Followup San Diego Fire, Part 3 (thread closed, see new thread) (796)
(Some Guy) Amusing "Start of day delayed for kindergartners in Mars." Elton John en route to remind parents Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids (52)
( Ironic Congratulations, America: You're too large to ride "It's a Small World" (3rd story down) (139)
Yahoo Interesting If you lie about smoking the doctors now have a way to out you. And you will die (91)
(Travel and Leisure) Florida The 25 US cities with the most attractive people. Guess which state has the number one city? (169)
Google Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Less-than-successful political campaign ads (60) Hero Prostitutes go on a hunger strike and threatened to take to the streets naked unless bars and strip joints, closed down last week, aren't reopened (49)
(Some Guy) Florida Student arrested for distracting police dog while its handler was giving school presentation. Your dog wants to pay attention (126)
Reuters Spiffy Violence in Iraq down 70% since the surge began (430)
BBC Sad Man dies after jousting accident. People, you have to hit the pterodactyl when its mouth is open, okay? (126)
Time Asinine Alabama prescribes a Bible textbook for public schools: "It's About Jesus, Y'all" (258)
(MSN Lifestyle: Men) Unlikely On average, a man will spend close to $13K per year on a woman. $12K of which is spent between November and February (188)
(Brooklyn Paper) Followup Defiant tot vows to chalk up New York (68)
(Some Guy) Cool Oregon voters may decide if pot can be sold at liquor stores. "You just draw a line from Seattle to all the way just south of Los Angeles. That is the most tolerant place in the United States for marijuana, bar none" (209)
Reuters Dumbass Bush: I can has another $42 billion for war? Congress: Fark you (457)
SFGate Interesting Ugly-ass baby mountain lion (with pics). Fark: In woman's backyard (90)
ABC News Asinine NASA to destroy all records from an unreleased survey on airline safety because the results they found would hurt airline profits. Petition for a USA tag to begin in discussion (160)
(Some Guy) Misc Feathers fly as pillows spill near downtown Norfolk. Beware of falling down (31)
AZCentral Stupid Woman charged with assaulting an officer because she threw a lit cigarette at his pant leg (105)
Reuters Followup San Diego Fire Thread, Part 2 (this thread now closed; link to new thread in comments) (1242)
LA Times Amusing UCLA's Paul Abramson argues that schools shouldn't restrict dating between teachers and students. His solution? A "love contract" for faculty-student romance (100)
(Boing Boing) Interesting There are more "World of Warcraft" players in America than farmers. And they receive a hell of a lot less taxpayer subsidies (369)
WNBC Amusing Masked bandits rob a N.Y. topless bar of $30K. Officers fight over dusting G-strings for prints (39)
Homestar Runner Silly Fluffy Puff Malloweens. Why ever drink again? (62)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this creepy teapot (81)
(FLORIDA TODAY) Scary Best-selling Canadian mystery writer nearly drowns in Florida. Detective Murdoch unavailable for comment (52)
Reuters Interesting So what exactly do Jews believe? Or Muslims? Or, for that matter, Christians, Buddhists and Druids? (759)
(Some Guy) Dumbass New Bin Laden tape to be released. It has been rumored that he will say he currently has Iggy in his possession and that he started all the fires in California (101)
Denver Channel Asinine Since World Series tickets went on sale in Denver at 10am MT, TheDenverChannel has not heard from a single fan who was able to buy World Series tickets Monday morning (194)
LA Times Followup Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger prepares to address the media about the wildfires devastating his disaster prone state. Expected statement: "GET TO DAH CHOPAH" (134)
Yahoo Interesting Taco Bell offers World Series free taco promo. "Steal a Base, Steal a Taco" narrowly edges out "When You're Sliding Into Third..." idea (76)
Forbes Interesting States ranked by how "green" they are. People's Republic of Vermont is first, with Al Gore's home state of Tennessee coming in at an impressive 43rd, well behind George Bush's Texas (290)
The Scotsman Obvious Taliban using civilians as human shields. Strange, you would think a group as moral as the Taliban would be handing out lollipops and puppies to civilians instead (269)
The Raw Story Asinine Why would Comcast help the government violate the Fourth Amendment? After all, it's not like they're making money from it. Right? Right? (78) Obvious A steep decline in oil production brings risk of war and unrest, says new study of the obvious (94)
FARK Amusing Ye Olde Fark pre-Halloween Ghost Story time, tell us yours (350)
BBC Followup I ain't sayin' he's a golddigga, but this 24 year old's 82 yo bride has died (102)
(Some Guy) Dumbass In the midst of the worst drought in history and with only 69 days left in the Durham water supply, field hockey team continues to water its synthetic turf field. Duke sucks (112)
SMH Interesting "Plays well with others. Talks out of turn. Pays attention to instruction. Is a fat farking slob" (87)
MSNBC Florida If you're going to offer a chick at a bus stop cash for a lap dance, make sure she's old enough to know what a lap dance actually is (102)
Boston Globe Sad Unwilling to admit obsolescence, libraries offer "Dance Dance Revolution" to boost attendance figures and DVD loans to boost circulation (123)
(WEWS 5) Sad Cleveland Indians return home to cheering fan (152)
Click On Detroit Followup Five students confess to placing 5,000 toothpicks on a high school football field (151)
Washington Post Ironic Dog snatching: $10 for a net. Prostitute: $250 a night. Family values blowhard Richard Mellon Scaife getting divorced: Priceless, but approximated at $725,000 a month (186)
IndyStar Strange No matter how much you dislike your classes, you are still not allowed to take a high-powered rifle and shoot your books (61)
(Consumerist) Florida Fark: One-third of South Florida gas pumps fail accuracy test. Florida: More than half of them favor the consumer (31)
Reuters Scary San Diego is burning. All of you SD farkers check in, find shelter or just discuss here (thread closed, see new thread) (1100)
Boston Globe Obvious Boston no longer top tourist destination even though "the people are not as fat as it is said in Europe" (122)
WFTV Florida Robber using a front-end loader to break into a bank obviously didn't think his cunning plan all the way through (25)
BBC PSA Researchers find that positive mental and emotional attitude has no effect on cancer survival or disease progression. Still no cure for cancer, and that really, really sucks (100)
SuperDeluxe Video Now Ellen really has something to cry about: Iggy mauls one of the kids (83)
(Some Guy) Interesting If everyone else celebrated Bridge Day, would you celebrate it, too? (56)
Yahoo Cool Chinese farmers are fishing with magnets for lumps of iron ore (48)
London Times Unlikely Sign of the times No. 1: Hospital appointment cards to feature paid advertisments. Sign of the times No. 666: For undertakers (31)
The Sun Amusing Top marks for topless teacher: Meet Britain's most popular teacher (196)
Yahoo Dumbass If you are going to go around demanding that everyone evacuate the area because of a cyanide cloud, make sure there really is a cyanide cloud present (24)
Google Photoshop Photoshop a parking sign for the "socially handicapped" (60)
The Sun Cool Woman achieves the 7-10 split of reproduction by giving birth to two babies after conceiving twice (two different times) in one month (83)
London Times Followup Turkey confirms it *will* attack Kurds in Northern Iraq. Turkish PM "does not need permission to defend his country" (232)
Lancashire Evening Post Obvious And the most useless gadget ever invented is... (311)
AZCentral Sad New study suggests even moderate drinking is risky. Still beats being sober (85) Sick The next prime minister of Australia now learning that if you pick your ear and eat it, there's bound to be a camera present (with vid) (100) Dumbass Australian man claims he shot another man three times because of an allergic reaction to floor polish (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pic of Richard Simmons (89)
SFGate Interesting After years of trying to improve image, Sioux City airport still SUX (104)
Yahoo Scary ♫ Ah-oooooooooo ♫ Crocodiles in Thailand ♫ (54)