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Sun November 11, 2007
(Some Guy) Interesting Milk is the new oil (23)
Wall Street Journal Interesting The hunt for the 7 Missing Wonders of the world is on. Items include the Holy Grail, Amelia Earhart's plane, Lindsay Lohan's panties (45)
(Long War Journal) Scary Pakistan releases Taliban high commanders. This should end well (153)
UPI Cool Connecticut class creates a working historical sub. However, some things don't react well to bullets (53)
Daily Mail Asinine Nanny State police categorize 40 percent of crime in Britain "unsolvable" within hours of it being reported, and are so good at their jobs that they can do it without ever visiting the scene or talking to any victims or witnesses (74)
(The Age) Spiffy Coming soon to YouTube, video of street racers' cars being destroyed by the police (67)
(Riverfront Times) Amusing Naked and resisting arrest at a concert? That's a tasing, bro. Bonus quote: "He was tased in the ass for a prolonged period of time" (24)
(vanityfair.com) Sad The damage done to the American economy does not make front-page headlines every day, but the repercussions will be felt beyond the lifetime of anyone reading this page (212)
Time Hero 90 years of battlefield photos (81)
CBS Sacramento Stupid Woman, after being refused entrance to New England Patriot's practice, cries "Havoc" and lets slip the dogs of vehicular assault (27)
(WV Record) Obvious 2 Drinks $30 + Lapdance $30 = $16,000. Only in West Virginia (63)
News24 Strange Deputy chairperson disputes wrongdoing after being caught outside the door of the executive secretary during a business trip. Claims that he was just sleepwalking. Naked (18)
Breitbart.tv Dumbass Note to St. Louis public schools: "Break a leg, kid" is an old show business saying. And it definitely doesn't mean you should send a kid with a real broken leg home on a school bus (75)
(Some Guy) Strange Groom too drunk to wed so the bride married the groom's more sober brother instead (59)
Daily Mail Interesting "Tantrums, casual sex and useless £12,000 therapy: what REALLY goes on inside rehab" (118)
(Some Guy) Florida Twenty years ago this weekend, some guy saw something odd flying outside his yard, and suddenly Gulf Breeze, Florida became nation's hottest UFO hotbed (w/ pics) (74)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this sea urchin (77)
(Victoria Advocate) Dumbass Old timer pens creepy letter to the editor with claim that seeing women astronauts on TV causes little girls to fling their Pampers at each other. What ever happened to girls wanting to be good Christian wives and mothers? (73)
CNN Sad Robbers armed with pistils take an 80-year-old woman for her life savings (95)
Seattle Times Strange Seattle couple collects old answering-machine cassettes and mixtapes from the 1980s and 1990s, hopes to become the "Smithsonian of found sound" (43)
(Some Guy) Amusing Confused man with one shoe found covered in salad dressing at D/FW airport. Alcohol was a factor (35)
BBC Interesting "Islamic Car" unveiled. Features include compass to Mecca, space to keep a Koran headscarf, built-in suicide bomb (258)
LA Times Followup Buckling to conservative pressure, Google unveils new Veterans Day logo (411)
(WLBZ2.com) Obvious Paper mill gives 4 to 12 weeks pay as severance package. Union says that's not enough... which is pretty much the kind of thinking that got them there in the first place (115)
AP Asinine Disney sued for banning Segways used by the disabled. That's just goofy (130)
Independent Obvious Study finds physical effects of anger last seven days. By the way, Radiohead sucks, George Bush is America's first philosopher king, Firefox is for losers and soccer is a much finer game than American Armoured Wankball. See you in a week (302)
(Centre Daily Times) Dumbass Environmental screwup in building road costs Pennsylvania taxpayers $79 million (30)
(Some Guy) Interesting Botnet owner faces 60 years in prison and a $1.75 million fine (64)
Daily Mail Sappy Uglyass house-trained baby bear needs a new home. With pics, of course (25)
Click On Detroit Obvious Actual headline: "Police: head found, possibly that of homicide victim". Possibly? That's some fine detective work there, Lou (97)
Slate Amusing Coffee shops discriminate against women by making them wait longer - It's a fact - Well... unless you read to the end of the study where the researcher just can't seem to make up her mind what the results mean (176)
Chicago Tribune Followup At least $500,000 was raised for the legal defense of the Jena 6. Would you like to know how the money was spent? The attorneys, who complain they're being stiffed, would too (322)
Gizmodo Amusing As if we needed more proof Japan is crazy. They've created a road that plays a song when you drive on it (108)
(Some dumb college kid(s)) Stupid Wisconsin bill would have all cigarettes extinguish themselves if not being smoked. In other news, ashtrays no longer work (73)
(SunHerald.com) Hero Today is Veterans' Day. Thank the veterans you know for their service (387)
AP Florida Guess what state is now arresting jaywalkers? (68)
(DUI Blog) Scary California police officers are instructed to commit perjury in DUI cases, testifying about a fictional typical DUI arrest instead of bothering to record or remember the true facts of the case (119)
Yahoo Dumbass Top intelligence official testifies Americans need to change their definition of privacy to what government says it is (132)
(SunJournal.com) Obvious Top ten things to stop doing in your 20's. Missing from the list: Blaming everyone else for your problems (251)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this family on the move (65)
Yahoo Spiffy British bishop backs brothels (45)
(Some deckhead) Interesting New system developed by IBM can manage itself, heal itself, pass Voight-Kampff test (115)
SeattlePI PSA Cashews sold as part of Girl Scouts fundraising come with bonus metal shavings. Sales of Do-Si-Dioxins and Polonium Butter Patties still brisk (22)
Sign On San Diego Stupid Boy suspended when ghost costume is mistaken for KKK robes. "The boy has friends who are black" (138)
Abc.net.au Interesting AIDS vaccine shown not to work, makes patients more susceptible to HIV. Fark needs a "you're doing it wrong" tag (73)
(Anorak) Strange Today's lesson from the Book of Duderonomy: Any brother who layeth the night with a nun shall awaken in the morning with candle in his penis. Amen (64)
TBO Florida Candlelight vigil for accident drowning victims turns into riot after survivors show up (66)
Orlando Sentinel Florida There are now three things certain in life: death, taxes, and a steady stream of Republicans soliciting sex in bathrooms (245)
(Bowling Green Daily News) Silly Mike Hunt donates $200,000 to women's scholarship program (130)
Telegraph Unlikely British troops have been warned not to post personal details on internet websites amid fears that they will be targeted by British-based al-Qaeda terrorists bent on enlarging their penises (31)
SMH Strange Thai police arrest serial killer of seven sleeping security guards. Turns out it was a fellow security guard who "hates guards who fall asleep on the job and don't perform their duty" (36)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Unlikely Los Angeles school teachers asked to pay back the $53 million they were overpaid by their school district (92)
ABC News Interesting 70-year-old man robs bank with 50-year-old gun; now faces life in prison, which will be about five months (32)
This Is Local London Hero British supermarkets are selling beer at a cheaper price than water (77)
(some old fart) Cool Virtual Lite-Brite (144)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Improve this old album cover (94)
SFGate Sick Health insurer sets goals and pays bonuses based on how many policyholders are dropped (262)

Sat November 10, 2007
Yahoo Sad US has one of the worst infant mortality rates in the first world. On the bright side, it's not like we pay a lot more for medicine than the rest of the world (301)
(9News) Scary Cement truck crashes through wall of yoga studio. OH YEAH! (59)
St. Pete Times Florida Residents pick Carrabba's Italian Grill as "best ethnic restaurant" in county. Bonus: Article uses this to brag about their diversity (143)
(Ohio.com) Scary Already this year, 25 million Americans have had background checks by the federal government, a number that's risen every year since the 9/11 terrorist attacks (180)
CNN Sick Man admits making 15,000 harassing calls to women, asking them to take their underwear off. Will now spend most of his time trying to keep his underwear on (43)
Stuff Dumbass Bank manager gives woman loans in exchange for sex. Jailarity ensues (48)
(insidebayarea.com) Interesting Three-alarm fire uncovers massive pot-growing operation in adjacent warehouse, intense desire to consume Doritos (36)
Reuters Hero Spanish king tells Venezuela's Chavez to shut his whore mouth while men are talking (332)
(Anchorage Daily News) Asinine Stealing candy from a kid? Not as easy as one would think. In fact, these women resorted to armed robbery (19)
(Some Guy) Interesting Meet area 51's secret sister area 52. This is where they keep the REALLY fun stuff (105)
Yahoo Amusing Behold..the HaHa guy's final resting place (256)
My Fox Milwaukee Obvious Where would you expect to find a dead body? A) Graveyard B) Funeral parlor C) Body shop (21)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Guy takes argument with buddies to serious extremes. "Agree with me or I will turn yellow and die" Dude, Darwin is calling (53)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Assemble something from these parts (76)
Daily Mail Amusing If you post binge drinking pictures to Facebook and say "we are not ashamed" you have an excellent chance of becoming a poster child for druken slobs everywhere. SAMANTHAAAAAAAAA JENKINS w/ pics (204)
(Pal-Item) Amusing Man loses local election by a single vote, then finds out that his wife didn't even bother to vote. Awkward (47)
CBS Sacramento Dumbass Man hires hit man, discovers that "I'll pay you double to kill the guy who hired you" works quite well in real life (43)
AP Silly "Mr. Toilet" builds world's largest commode as his house. Ty-D-Bowl Man blue with jealousy (31)
Canoe Stupid Website encourages road ragers to post license plate numbers and pics of bad drivers. What could possibly go wrong? (69)
AP Interesting Suitcase nukes unlikely to exist. Jack Bauer shakes head disapprovingly (126)
CBS Baltimore Stupid Hispanics don't hold their alcohol well. They tend to be macho and a knife is their favorite weapon. That's all according to a Maryland State Police training document (157)
LA Times Obvious After cop's fourth wife mysteriously disappears, investigators start thinking that the bloody and bruised body of his third wife maybe wasn't such an accident after all (53)
Yahoo Obvious China, worried we're catching on, temporarily suspends shipping poisoned toys throughout the world (37)
Reuters Sad 3 killed in a China shop stampede. No bull (36)
(Some Gazette) Interesting Leaders from many faiths get together to discuss the story of Noah. It's not Jews, it's ark (178)
Fox News Obvious Guy who has never played "Manhunt 2" says it's no threat to society because it's too lame. Well, it's certainly no threat to society, but it's certainly not lame. Go write about global warming or something bud (129)
(Saturday Gazette Mail) Asinine Group to learn firsthand about homelessness by enjoying concert & outdoor movie, then camping out for one night in city park surrounded by security officers and portapotties (67)
Excite Followup Feløny chårges drøpped ågåinst jøggers who cåused a håzmåt scåre in New Haven, CT åfter IKEA øver-reåcted (94)
(Some Guy) Asinine Lawyer asks Judge to allow his client to become drunk to demonstrate that he is capable of driving while under the influence of alcohol (138)
(Post-Gazette) Cool Christmas comes early for zoo polar bears as wild deer jumps in their pen. Includes video (72)
Boston Globe Obvious Massachusetts governor wants to imprison residents who participate in evil online gambling instead of spending their money in casinos where the state will get a piece of the action (42)
CBS New York Asinine This is why the Asinine tag exists: parking rage "fight" between a dentist, a woman half his height, and her smallish brother too(w/video) (112)
(Some SDSU Guy) Ironic Feminists hold bake sale on college campus and charge white males more for same goods (690)
(Some Guy) Amusing Spaniard sells invisible friend on eBay (61)
(Some Guy) Interesting Chicago's Marina City, tired of all the paparazzi, proposes photography ban citing "common law copyright under current state and federal law." (42)
(Billy Mack) Interesting ♪♫ Go On, take the monkey and run ♪♫ (35)
(MaineToday.com) Stupid "The city wound up paying $135,000 for the resulting matted mounds of grass and nine half-inch-thick panels of serrated stainless steel." Welcome to the world of art (63)
(Palm Beach Post) Asinine Riviera Beach has the solution to teen crime: lock 'em all up every night (71)
London Times Dumbass Media helpfully links school shooting plots to MySpace "cyber school for killers" (34)
(Some Perv) Dumbass Head cheerleader's mother arrested on suspicion of molesting a 14-year-old football player. Down...set...slut, slut, slut HIKE (77)
Japan Times Followup Japanese hospital's anonymous baby drop-off hatch has saved 8 babies in its 6 months of operation (60)
CBC Obvious Romero of the Great White North discovers that sometimes Chinese signs are not translated into English well (42)
(pjstar) Followup Girl who was kicked out of school for maroon highlights in her hair is allowed to return to school just in time for her lawyers to play the race card (85)
(Metro.co.uk) Strange Factory worker has been found dead, buried under a pile of peanuts. No word if he had been a-salted (53)
Yahoo Sad Fed wants to raise cigarette tax to $1. What happened to the right to self abuse? (202)
(Nationmedia) Obvious "Baby boomers have disrupted every aspect of society and the worst is yet to come" (130)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Florida School principal says students are too young to learn about peace, bans peace banner (116)
(Some Guy) Interesting Newest poll results: Majority of Americans support civil unions for lesbian and gay couples. Fabulous (174)
(MaineToday.com) Dumbass Two AWOL Marines charged with illegally shooting three moose, or meese, or mooses. Mice? (65)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this young punk (66)
(The Local) Amusing Father and son blame each other for egging pensioners. Despite scrambled stories, both fined after cracking under questioning (17)
YouTube Video "Fellas, it's been good to know ya." 32 years ago today, the Edmund Fitzgerald was lost. Gordon Lightfoot says it all (137)
USA Today Sad Pulitzer Prize winner Norman Mailer, the macho prince of American letters, dead at 84 (79)
(The Argus) Strange Mannequin sex, "lewd though it may be, does not fall within the purview of the indecent exposure statute." (46)
MacWorld Interesting "...Richardsson filled his time on stage by invoking everything from ninjas to lolcats to Technoviking..." I can haz Mac geeks? (Yes, this is your Caturday thread) (377)
(KFI News) PSA If you're in LA, you can longer say the "n word." First Amendment unavailable for comment (196)
(Some WM) Hero The time: November 10, 1775. The place: Tun Tavern, Philadelphia. The who: The Few. The Proud. The Marines. (266)
Yahoo Obvious Ingredients for salad dressing found in 2,400-year-old Greek shipwreck....No doubt they were tossing salads (14)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Uncle Jesse says: when going to jail, make sure your hair is perfect (123)
Daily Mail Asinine Nanny State update: War veterans' fury after Remembrance Day services scrapped by health and safety killjoys (40)
Daily Mail Cool Submitter would come up with a clever headline, but it's a British TV show that convinces women to take off their shirts to see how well their bras fit and it has pics, so the hell with it (possibly Not safe for work pics) (76)
DallasNews Cool Calamity Jane's pistol to be auctioned this weekend. You know who else's pistol to be auctioned? Pancho Villa's (28)
ABC News Obvious First 450 people who show up at Cleveland's convention centre this Saturday with a working handgun will get a $100 gas card. The first person to think this through will get $45,000 in gas cards (107)
The Sun Cool Led Zeppelin are about to break the record for the most expensive concert tickets in British history. The Sun is there (65)
CBS Salt Lake City Stupid A whites-only bathroom in Georgia? How did we get back to 1967? (156)
Boston Globe Amusing Hackers force Rhode Island to temporarily shut down its website, potentially affecting dozens of people (22)
AP Scary Officials confirm Biologist officially died of The Plague although official tests aren't official. The Official spoke anonymously because an official statement hasn't officially been released by official officials (46)
(gimme a hug) Asinine Texas school district mounts full-frontal assault on hugging, enacts ban. Students fail to embrace policy (134)

Fri November 09, 2007
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this red face (80)
(World Net Daily) Florida Live in HUD housing? No Jesus for you (230)
(Gothamist) Sappy Maple syrup smell back in NYC (63)
Yahoo Cool Da Vinci's "Last Supper" has coded 'soundtrack.' Hits include "Danger Zone" and "I Will Always Love You" (106)
SFGate Amusing From the you-can't-make-this-stuff-up department: "Woman Torches Ex's Mounted Bison Head" (40)
(Some chopped up dude) Scary Way number 2,678 you do not want to die (133)
Komo Spiffy If you've been waiting for somebody to release a kosher ham soda, your wait is over (61)
CourtTV Dumbass The first rule of Kidnapping Club is take away your victim's cell phone. The second rule of Kidnapping Club is don't talk about how stupid of a kidnapper you are (38)
YouTube Video Why are those screenwriters on strike? Answer here (332)
LA Times Unlikely Chief of LAPD thinks effort to map muslim areas of the city should be thought of as "community engagement" and not racial profiling (137)
(Some Guy) Interesting Teachers post a traffic signal in the cafeteria that switches from green to yellow to red as the decibels rise. Naturally, some parents object. "Now you've got the kids like Pavlovian dogs, watching this light" (137)
Canada.com Interesting Skinny-dipping club claims civil rights shrinkage, wins case due to legal wrinkle; will be allowed to organize nude swims at public pool (39)
(Idaho Statesman) Sick We've all seen the stories of parents being charged with injury to a child for having houses filled with pet feces. This woman raises the ante by including a partial elk carcass. With dirty-faced mug shot (95)
Free Press Obvious 65-year old woman robs gas station to buy gas. Welcome to the future (43)
(ksdk) Stupid Police evict people from wrong house. That's some nice police work there, Lou (57)
CBS 46 Obvious Florida backs out of water deal with Georgia after getting cut off like husband on losing end of argument (38)
(creativeloafing) Amusing The Internet's newest douchebag is back whining about his ruined reputation (1209)
(Some Guy) Sad 51,000 sunglasses from China recalled, the Friday lead trifecta now in play (60)
(NBC5) Strange Godless substitute 5th grade teacher tells students that their toothpaste has rat poison, that sugar is cocaine, and don't call her "miss" because that means prostitute (158)
(CityNews) Stupid Section of downtown Toronto shut down for suspicious package... which turns out to be an alarm clock (73)
Yahoo Followup Autopsy reveals what everyone already knew: that NYC woman who died while in police custody at the Phoenix airport strangled herself (254)
The Newspaper Asinine Cities overwhelmed with requests for parking ticket hearings solve problem by outlawing hearings (106)
(Nature dot com) Dumbass Rush Limbaugh falls for hoax paper that blames nature for global warming. Nice research work there, El Rushbo (359)
Guardian.com Amusing Confirming that the lottery is a tax on the stupid, scratch tickets withdrawn because customers couldn't understand them (136)
UPI Stupid Businesses are adopting e-mail-free Fridays to cut back on information overload and encourage direct communication. This idea brough to you by technologically-impaired workforce geezers (149)
(Some Denver Farker) Cool Attention Denver Farkers: Mini-Fark Party at Public House tonight from 6:00pm-10:00pm (open bar for $10) (89)
CNN Unlikely Former Arizona governor making UFO documentary. I want to believe (88)
(C & G News) Obvious Today's teacher/student scandal: 17-year-old stud bags and brags. Bonus: she was his French teacher. (With ooh-la-la picture, including the come-hither crazy eye) (232)
(Some Whacko Moonbat) Amusing VP Cheney secretly ordered a nuclear strike against Iran. With lots of BOLD text to make article even more ominous (185)
(Some Guy) Hero A Russian company has made a device which it says allows retailers to sell draught beer easily from stores (66)
CBS News Obvious Another day, another 175,000 lead-tainted Chinese toys recalled (59)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Asinine Taco Bell fires 30-year employee, apparently concerned they would have to pay her retirement in $2 bills (284)
Orlando Sentinel Followup Disney insists that they were planning to overhaul "It's A Small World" anyway, recent incidents of fat tourists causing the boats to get stuck is just a coincidence (100)
Free Press Interesting Dear Western states: If you think you're going to solve your water problems with the Great Lakes, prepare for Civil War. Love, Michigan (758)
(Canon) Video ♫ "Battle of the viral video stars" ♪ (Sponsored Link) (24)
MSNBC Strange Woman was so upset that someone stole her $4 pumpkin, she wrote a threatening note to the public, walked through town with a large knife and pinned the note to the town's message board (39)
Houston Chronicle Interesting Texas may be in violation of the ADA for providing "state services" in establishments that allow smoking. In other news, lottery tickets are considered to be state services (97)
AFP Silly Pretty ridiculous: internet site offering Hannah Montana concert ticket for equivalent of $24,000. Also ridiculous: normal price of Hannah Montana tickets is $240 (221)
Houston Chronicle Obvious Todays conveniently timed explosion and fire at a US oil refinery brought to you by Port Arthur, TX. Magic 8 Ball seen clocking out early and headed home for weekend as it is pretty sure we already know what will happen (119)
Yahoo Strange Funny: forgetting to close your gas tank lid. Fail: Forgetting to take the gas nozzle out and driving off. Fark: Forgetting your car completely after paying for gas and walking home (75)
(Tommy Condons) Followup Reminder: Charleston Fark party tomorrow 7pm... LGT venue, y'all (57)
Daily Mail Strange Nanny State police order two-year-old girl to pay fine after speed camera clocks her driving 65mph in a 40mph zone or go to court (61)
(ars technica) Asinine Having won the wars on terrorism and drugs, locked up all the pedophiles, murderers and bank robbers, Congress wants DOJ to prosecute file sharers individually (449)
(www.caller.com) Spiffy Not news: small plane flies low over high school football game. News: it's being flown by a teen who drops a football in the endzone. Fark: his classmates had already collected bail money (132)
Local6 Amusing Strange items Floridians have swallowed (with X-ray pic goodness) (109)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Reminder: NYC Friday Farkin' Happy Hour TONIGHT (39)
College Humor Amusing If Jack Bauer and "24" were around in 1994 (133)
(Some Gal) Photoshop Instashop - Photoshop this bus into something more exciting (85)
NewsOK Interesting Not content with their new illegal immigrant law, Oklahoma legislators now want to seize assets of those who house and transport illegals (318)
Boston Herald PSA Nobody gets away with parking in a handicapped space in Weymouth, Massachusetts. Nobody (121)
Toronto Star Asinine School board sues parents over an online petition criticizing an administrator. It's not about the money; it's the principal (160)
(Weblog Awards) Spiffy The final tally: 29,121 votes and exactly 50% of the votes cast. Behold the Power of Fark (190)
(Hindu.com) Scary Three men attempt to rob jewelry shop, quickly discover that other building tenants - armed with iron rods and clubs - don't care much for armed robbers. Bonus: One of the robbers was nicknamed "Bouncy" (40)
(Portage Daily Register) Stupid Woman charged by police and taken to court after having a sex discussion with her two sons, instead of letting them find out about sex through porn, like everybody else (346)
(Some Grinch) Obvious Another day in the Department of the Blindingly Obvious: study finds that most people throw away the Secret Santa gifts they get from co-workers (90)
BBC Hero 70 year old woman wades in with walking stick to fight off three guys robbing a schoolgirl. STAY OFF HER LAWN (76)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this adventurer (66)
IOL Dumbass Criminals fleeing gas station robbery are captured a quarter block away after police follow their trail of dropped coins just a few minutes after the robbery. Dime that was fast (23)
Guardian.com Obvious Study finds monkeys in white coats may be useless at treating back pain, no matter where they got their chiropractic degree (210)
(Free-Lance Star) Silly Today's overturned semi full of pickles and peppers brought to you by Virginia. Peter Piper unavailable for comment (42)
Yahoo Obvious Consumer confidence hits a two-year low after mugshot photos of Mickey Rourke are released to the media (47)
AP Dumbass Green Bay man tased three separate times AND bitten by police dog before his snowplow hijacking crusade comes to a close. A+ for persistance (51)
AFP Strange Only in Japan would they think it's a good idea to scare people into saving money by giving them exploding piggy banks (52)
(Brooklyn Paper) Asinine From the city that brought you ticketing six-year-old girls for chalk drawing on sidewalks, here's the sequel: Bartender written up for placing lime in Corona beer bottle with her bare hands (114)
(WMTW.com) Florida See Gramps ride his bicycle. He rides it to school to pick up little Billy. See Gramps bring home little Zacari instead. Bad Gramps, bad (49)
(Some Hygenist) Amusing Contest to define Britain in five words: Strangely, "My orthodontist is highly skilled" not on shortlist (with voting) (305)
Yahoo Amusing Man hides in suitcase to enter US illegally. Good thing he came from Chihuaha, Mexico and not from Labrador, Canada (32)
(Int'l Herald Tribune) Amusing Concerned mom finds out her precious little snowflakes are sending each other rubber blowup dolls on Facebook. Does she A) get over it B) have a stern talk with her kids C) fling hamster poo at her husband (63)
Time Amusing Doctor sums up patient types in decreasing order: engineers, nurses, and self-absorbed Googling dumbasses (225)
Yahoo Followup President Musharraf places opposition party leader Benazir Bhutto under house arrest (127)
News.com.au Asinine New Australian anti-rape law means that "Yes" can now mean "No." No matter what you do, you are a rapist (472)
TBO Florida DJs run contest where parents continuously touch "Hannah Monstrosity" statue to win concert tickets, prove they love their snowflakes (77)
Wired Photoshop Photoshop this aviator (76)
STLToday Obvious Teen sues St. Louis Cardinals after message board allowing custom messages via cell phone showed her name along with the message "has an STD. Eww." Apparently, massive psychological trauma ensued (105)
News.com.au Amusing Flasher flashes court during his appeal hearing on a flashing conviction (35)
Yahoo PSA You shouldn't eat poker chips, even if they are full of delicious lead (36)
Herald-Leader Dumbass Family of woman who died of snakebite received in a church service suing hospital, saying that they were too busy making fun of her for being a snakehandler to actually treat her. Submitter leaves it to you to decide who gets the tag (187)
Guardian.com Sad New Orleans so bad it makes Detroit look like the Garden of Eden (193)
(Metro.co.uk) Weird An Advent Calendar just isn't complete without a serial killer being included (35)
Yahoo Obvious One-third of popular songs refer to substance abuse (142)

Thu November 08, 2007
News.com.au Obvious Man tired of initiating sex tells wife "I'll make no more advances until you ask me." Unfortunately didn't think his cunning plan all the way through (392)
(Galesburg Register-Mail) Stupid Today's coach doin' it with a student comes from Illinois. Bonus: Coach gets paid for it (66)
NBC 11 Sappy Cute Alert: You just haven't seen anything until you've seen a meerkat stick out its belly at you (97)
11 Alive Scary Atlanta man tries to use stun gun on carjacker, gets shot five times for his trouble (151)
(wwmt) Obvious Parent finds one 22 caliber shell in school parking lot. Guess what happens next (240)
(Moyle) Interesting Father says it doesn't legally matter what his twelve year old son wants, he's gonna get circumcised. Got any tips for the Oregon Supreme Court? (573)
(American Decency Association) Stupid Suggested sample letter for you to write to Victoria's Secret, expressing your outrage over their "pornographic aggressive sexual advertising." Er, you are outraged, aren't you? (156)
Yahoo Dumbass Wesley Snipes claims the U.S. government purposely chose the most racist county in the nation as the location for his tax-evasion trial (151)
ABC News Scary Ah, the joys of modern air travel. Airlines are now purposefully flying with less fuel to get priority landing when/if they arrive at their destination (122)
AP Interesting There can be only one. Because the other of the two remaining survivors from the Titanic has died (58)
News.com.au Followup Children's toy banned for drug contamination is becoming a big hit on the black market for stupid teenagers (69)
Independent Obvious Bombing, tank fire and complete blockades haven't made the Gaza Strip any less unruly, but turning off the electricity will really do the trick this time (231)
CBS Salt Lake City Scary Deadly tidal wave heading for Great Britain. EVERYBODY PANIC... oh, and blame global warming (111)
AJC Asinine From the county that gave us science book disclaimers, police decide catching robber is worth shutting down one of the nation's busiest interstates during rush hour (69)
AP Obvious O.J. arrives at Las Vegas courthouse... wearing really tiny gloves (35)
(Some Sea Captain) Photoshop Photoshop this young fisherman (80)
ABC News Unlikely Retailers across the country are worried about poor holiday sales this year due to stagnant wages, a weak dollar and high gas prices. Oh, and the fact that the FBI is warning of al Qaeda attacks at malls won't help either (67)
Local6 Florida TV station gets hundreds of emails after discovering that companies are forbidding employees to smoke -- off the clock (with survey) (243)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Proving that ESPN hires only the most intelligent reporters, Rob Stone casually takes a bite out of the hottest chili pepper in the world(Some NSFW ads) (105)
(Some Guy) Interesting Republic of California set to sue U.S. government for global warming (123)
The Smoking Gun Interesting Previously unseen David Bowie mug shot from 1976. With androgynous goodness (177)
(People) Dumbass Britney Spears misses eight of 14 drug tests, which is a .428 peeing average (213)
(Weblog Awards) Wheaton Last second voting.... Wheaton's ahead, but not by much. Get those votes in (83)
Telegraph Stupid Those whippersnappers on the lawn are thought criminals: "Offences against old people should be dealt with in the same way as hate crimes that are motivated by racism or homophobia" (183)
(China Daily) Amusing Deaf-mute couple having trouble getting divorced. The paperwork was a cinch but the hearing didn't go so well (87)
(Some Guy) Interesting Time Magazine panel meets today to consider nominations for its Person of the Year. Who do you think it should be, and why? (VE, rules in the link) (261)
The Smoking Gun Followup Batshiat crazy priest stalks Conan O'Brien. The Smoking Gun is there, with stalker letter goodness (110)
(Radar Online) Weird Turns out that Rudy Giuliani is receiving money from officials in Qatar who were linked very closely with Al Qaeda and 9/11 conspirators. 9/11 (399)
SLTrib Strange Cops in Utah are sweating off meth fumes by relaxing in a sauna at a Scientology-based clinic. On the taxpayer's dime (144)
Chicago Tribune Hero Illinois legislature: "All schools must observe a daily moment of silence." Evanston School Board: "Suck it" (754)
This Is Local London Asinine Woman sues hairdresser for not hiring her because of her headscarf even though we all know it's really because of her creepy eyebrows (218)
(SW NB) Sad One in 10 Nebraskan students can't pass state math exams. That's like, 70 percent (170)
MSNBC Followup For the first time this century, Congress finally remembers about that checks and balances thingee in the Constitution (225)
(KSL.com) Followup Remember that Utah Alcohol Beverage commisioner who wanted to cover up all the booze? She said it was all a joke and you can stop with the death threats now (61)
Daily Mail Obvious "The truth is women can't really cook. Women's cooking is often so poor because it is largely performed as a matter of necessity. The only people who can actually cook on this planet are men" (607)
ABC Action News Asinine Serve your country? That's unemployment (217)
Philly Obvious Woman is hoping to get out of a jury summons she received on her 102nd birthday (51)
(Ballot Access News) Sad Tragedy today, as Prohibition Party presidential candidate Earl Dodge died suddenly at 74. He was sober (120)
BBC Obvious World's perviest driving instructor gropes students, asks for sex as a fee, forces student to feel a carrot he shoved in his pants, keeps porn in the glove box... and goes to jail (86)
STLToday Obvious Conservative pundit wants you to know that any film portraying American troops as less than perfect is traitorous -- but dissent is still totally cool (260)
WTAM Amusing College intern put in charge of police department when no one else wanted the job (41)
Reuters Interesting Scientists decode whale sounds so they can fake out the alien space probe and leave the cast of "Star Trek 4" in the future where they belong (181)
(News8Austin) Spiffy Pancho was a bandit boy / his horse was fast as polished steel / He wore his gun outside his pants / for all the honest world to feel (152)
Telegraph Spiffy Truly awesome new Guiness commercial. Took a week to film in a remote mountain village, which is still waiting for its bar towels (118)
(Prospect Magazine) Interesting European panty-twisting over genetically-modified food is costing lives in the Third World (241)
(Jossip) Obvious Stanford study discovers that in drunken college hookups, men achieve orgasm more than twice as often as their female counterparts. America stunned by the revelation, closes public offices (288)
Newsweek Interesting People unconsciously opt for things that begin with their initials (132)
UPI Scary It really sucks when the engine falls out of your airplane (76)
TampaBays10.com Followup From the "I Thought So" Department: Nick Hogan Bollea spent less than an hour in jail yesterday, was indeed out before lunch (86)
CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth Amusing The city is trying to shut down your private swinger's parties. Do you: A) Hire a lawyer and fight it? B) Shut down the party? Or C) Argue that attending church is more dangerous (89)
Reuters Amusing "I've seen stupid strikes, I've seen less stupid strikes.... This is a stupid strike." All this from Michael Eisner. Bitter, party of one, your table is ready (111)
Kotaku Amusing Giant candy-licking GTA billboard sure to be a hit with parents and nuns (106)
(Some Guy) Followup Remember the Dell Dude? He's now waiting tables at Tortilla Flats (pic) (195)
CNN Sad Beer prices on the rise. Drew expected to raise TotalFark price as a result (59)
Local6 Weird New Hampshire Farkers asked to be on lookout for witch with special powers (81)
NYPost Sappy Man who sets up surreal sappy website to track down the girl he saw on the subway finds her. Bonus: She's an Aussie who loves "anything romantic" (127)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the scene that this sign is trying to depict (61)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Al Qaeda no longer able to operate in Baghdad. This important update from Iraq can be found prominently displayed on page A19 in the NY Times (436)
Aftenposten.no Amusing Norway's Supreme Court rules it legal to throw cake at Ministers. In unrelated news, sales of cake skyrocket in Norway (23)
(Some Guy) Interesting Pseudoscience climate change denial site may win Best Science Blog award. "Apparently conservative political sites have been directing their readers to vote for it, whether they read it or not." Hmmmmm (161)
(MaineToday.com) Dumbass "Awww... it's raining out and look at that poor kitty out there. Let's let it in," she said just before all the shots began (66)
Lancashire Evening Post Unlikely Patients seen leaving their hospital beds to nip to the shops in their pyjamas and slippers. At least leave your drip behind (25)
(Weblog Awards) Followup News: Polls close Thursday at 10:00 p.m. GMT, which is 5:00 p.m. EST and 2:00 p.m. PST. Fark: Messing with online polls since 2002 (100)
(Some Guy) Obvious The founder of The Weather Channel claims that global warming is the biggest scam in history. He obviously forgets the staged moon landings (523)
Chicago Sun-Times Stupid Chicago church is somewhat progressive in allowing gay clergy, but not so progressive that they'll allow gay clergy to have sex (71)
Yahoo NewsFlash This ship is the Spirit of Nantucket / (complete the limerick) (101)
(Some Guy) Cool Police discover Mafia's 'Ten Commandments' after arresting Godfather (111)
Yahoo Amusing Studies show that having a good time at work is beneficial. Fark is here to help (48)
UPI Scary Flooded Mexicans living on rooftops. Welcome the improved living conditions (75)
BBC Interesting "Bush and Sarkozy declare Iran aim". Sights are adjusted and pressure is applied to trigger finger (99)
Slate Interesting An economist goes into a bar .... and debunks the myth of the Asian fetish (223)
Comedy Central Video "Please enjoy yourselves, there's lots more Coke and sex in the house" (84)
CNN Sad Over 25% of homeless are vets. At least those stray dogs and cats will be taken care of (175)
BBC Interesting Good news for commitment phobe males as scientists find women with sexy walks are least likely to be ovulating (129)
Daily Mail Hero Newly discovered memoirs of WW1 veteran reveal laugh-a-minute life in the trenches (59)
(Big Head DC) Obvious Calling it an accident, GOP presidential candidate Mitt Romney has pulled down several of his campaign advertisements from Gay.com (94)
Sports by Brooks Amusing Oregon QB has a lot of balls taking billiards class as his only course this year (66)
Seattle Times Hero Retired AT&T worker blows the whistle on the NSA's illegal wiretapping in AT&T network closets "They were sweeping up everything, vacuum-cleaner-style." You youngsters can get off his Constitution (347)
Telegraph Interesting "I'll be back," is the most quoted line in movie history (431)
(Times Herald Record) Strange In New Jersey, even the bears steal cars (40)
(Some Local Guy) Dumbass "Hello? 911? Can you bring me beer? I've called you guys like five times already" (51)
Kansas City Obvious Kansas winemakers whine after the Governor of Kansas said “If you ever see Kansas wine, don’t drink it" (72)
Lancashire Evening Post Strange Urban legend known as "Purple Aki" is in court accused of touching other people's biceps (46)
SeattlePI Sad Much like its namesake, the Ronald Reagan Presidential Library has lost track of thousands of mementos from the Gipper's life (99)
(Some Guy) Strange You know you're a good salesman if you can convince a woman to leave her family without any warning in exchange for a life of selling magazines door-to-door (54)
CBS New York Hero "THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE" less finger (36)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop this facade (45)
Daily Mail Strange "I didn't like my adopted daughter so I gave her back." and other ways to get rid of your kids (174)
SMH Hero 14 year-old saves man who fainted and fell several feet in front of oncoming freight train. Awesome: both survived due to kid "watching Mythbusters" (183)
BBC Amusing News: Civil Aviation Authority receives distress signal from ship. Fark: located in center of a pile of refrigerators in a junkyard (49)
Denver Post Scary Twenty-three illegal workers at O'Hare International Airport busted for using fake security badges (99)
Yahoo Stupid A New York City restaurateur unveils a $25,000 chocolate sundae setting a Guinness world record for the most expensive dessert (134)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 131: "It's About Time" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (170)

Wed November 07, 2007
MSNBC Asinine US and Australia recall Chinese made date-rape drug--for kids--possibly due to lead coating (86)
Breitbart.com Obvious Hugo Chavez shocked... simply shocked... that masked gunmen opened fire on a pro-democracy rally denouncing his dictatorship (514)
Yahoo Dumbass A woman wearing a wedding dress drove into a pond after officers tried to take a bag of marijuana from her. Nothing to see here. Move along (26)
Independent Interesting Sicilian Mafia told to improve their morals (28)
Guardian.com Interesting Eighteen years after it was torn down, survey finds one in five Germans would like to see the Berlin Wall rebuilt (128)
Yahoo Stupid Oregon police are lending radar guns to people concerned about speeders in their neighborhoods and sending strongly worded letters to the speeders they catch (95)
UPI Obvious British gasoline tops $8 a gallon. So quit yer whining ya American wankers (201)
(Some Jon) Spiffy Drew joins "Two Johns No Waiting" on KMOX St. Louis tonight at 8:30pm CST (26)
Google Spiffy Charleston, SC Fark Party this Saturday the 10th, Tommy Condon's Pub (95)
Mercury News Stupid Parents trying to ban "The Giver" from public school libraries cite infanticide and violence. Cause no other books or TV shows have those, you know (193)
(Idaho Statesman) Amusing Small town in Idaho passes two out of three marijuana initiatives, leading to highlarity comments being left on newspaper website (92)
(Some Guy) Amusing White-cheeked gibbon monkey escapes Nashville zoo again - mug shot included (57)
Yahoo Weird If you're in the Netherlands and you swear that you are seeing bananas washing up on the shore, it's not the great hashish you scored in Amsterdam after all (26)
Daily Mail Spiffy Mother of the Year candidate sends stripper to son's classroom for his birthday (101)
Yahoo Followup Ten-year-old boy who started the Buckweed fire could face multi-million dollar fine and removal from his home (207)
(Some Vacationing Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what this tourist is pointing at (107)
AJC Amusing Georgia governor seeks divine intervention to get some rain. Why didn't we think of this sooner? (120)
Breitbart.com Interesting Following the lead of Pakistan, Georgia declares state of emergency. Urges citizens to stay inside, avoid Michael Vick (33)
Yahoo Cool Tho this cowboy's life is a livin' rage / And his lovely wife he lives to please / There lurks inside of him a little boy / Who dearly loves to tease (16)
Yahoo Obvious Nearly six out of 10 Americans don't think Americans are smart enough to make political decisions for themselves. Europeans nod sagely (136)
MSNBC Amusing "I got this [dragon tattoo] while a teenager. I met the greatest girl in the world and now I'm married. Problem is, she's afraid of dragons. I've started getting it removed. Will take years" (212)
590 KLBJ Amusing Austin police scramble after report of man in black with rifle on downtown rooftop. Turns out it was a Johnny Cash impersonator with a pool cue (46)
CBS 4 Denver Followup People in Denver really want to get high, passing another measure to keep police from enforcing marijuana laws (257)
(People Magazine) Amusing Damon Wayans goes on "The View" and tells the women to get back in the kitchen. Bonus: He also defends Don Imus (with video goodness) (150)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Belgian police set up special unit of six blind cops specializing in transcribing and analysing wiretap recordings, with hi-tech equipment, fully decked-out lab, cool office with totally mod decor. At least that what the other cops tell them (45)
Breitbart.com Scary Iran says it's reached 3000 centrifuges for high uranium enrichment. Scientists say it takes 3000 centrifuges to create a bomb in one year. What do you say will happen in 365 days to Iran? (442)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Cool September 1906: Using photos and clues from the newspaper, identify and capture the Tribune's Mysterious Mr. Sly and win $250. What could possibly go wrong? (64)
(Radar Online) Amusing Ever wonder what would happen if you wore a "My other dick is black" t-shirt in Harlem, or tried to pick up a woman while wearing something that said "I'll f*ck the fat friend?" One brave soul finds out (184)
Yahoo Asinine It's that time of year again: another asshat parent discovers their precious snowflake's high school literature assignments aren't all about puppies and flowers, and promptly throws a hissy fit (170)
CTV Cool Most anticipated movies of 2008. New "Rambo" movie makes the list. Where is your god now? (178)
Daily Mail Silly In one of the slowest news days in British history, the Daily Mail offers this pic and article about the "world's largest dog" meeting the "world's smallest dog" (73)
(TG Daily) Obvious AOL loses one third of its subscribers in one year. The other two subscribers have no idea they are still subscribed to AOL (201)
Yahoo Strange Remember when getting a leg shot off was an automatic medical discharge? Not so fast there, Private Gimpy (83)
CNN Obvious "Roe vs. Wade For Men" terminated (654)
AP Interesting Older sister beats brother in mayoral race after successfully beating his ass throughout their childhood (18)
Chicago Tribune Amusing Illinois Governor Ryan begins his felony conviction prison sentence today and h ...did that photographer just take a picture of the spokeswoman's ass? (88)
Philly Followup Philadelphia voters re-elect the judge who ruled that raping a prostitute is "theft of services" (88)
Fox News Dumbass Some folk'll never get stuck in mud up to their chests, but then again some folk'll.. (43)
Detroit News Followup Eight pound, six ounce Baby Jesus: 0, Nazis: 1 (118)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Reminder: San Francisco Fark Party, Tuesday 11/13 @ 9pm. Drew will be there (32)
(Web Drifter) Weird There is an old man who lives in the swamps. This old man wears nothing but rubber. But not to stay dry. He wears it to keep the wetness in (43)
IOL Silly "I have used it myself to experiment and I have slept very well for the past two nights. As for the rest, it's a question of taste." Ugly pyjamas creating a vile workplace environment (30)
(insidebayarea.com) Weird "Oooh, let's build a park in Dublin, oh, and maybe El Sobrante, and... what's that? Yeah, sure, let's put one within the closed portion of the Concord Naval Weapons Station. What could possibly go wrong?" (111)
WRAL Interesting Brother born first is actually second to sister because of daylight savings time (131)
ABC News Obvious CIA memos confirm terror suspects have been subject to worse frat pranks than previously mentioned (555)
Yahoo Obvious Report shows that abstinence not curbing teen sex. Obvious tag asplodes (258)
(insidebayarea.com) Obvious Slow news day: In case you were wondering, there is a dense fog blanketing the San Francisco Bay Area. No, really (77)
Yahoo NewsFlash Discovery lands safely. Pilot seems unable to parallel park it, however (67)
(wzzm13.com) Asinine Woman hits bar, misses deer, hits house, misses baby. Future plans include hitting jail, missing her family, hitting her cellmate, missing freedom (44)
ABC News Scary China to build space station to study how lead toys affect children in low gravity (101)
SuperDeluxe Video How to properly show man love when your best buddy suddenly has a boob (107)
Yahoo Obvious Researches conclude that looking someone in the eyes makes you more attractive to them; looking at their breasts still more fun, however (441)
Starpulse Amusing Paris "latest ambassador to the preservation of all things worldly" Hilton warns the folks in India to lock up their booze so the elephants don't get loopy and kill themselves (131)
(Some Guy) Interesting Homeless man accused of breaking into church to use its phone to call sex lines. Again (28)
Fox News Followup Behold the power of Fark: Fox gives credit to "Internet pundits" for tearing apart the report TSG ran yesterday on the poop drug. Hey Fox, it won't kill you to credit Fark once in awhile (131)
(wbztv.com) Followup The NFL might be satisfied that there wasn't any extra noise during the Patriots-Colts game, but now a security guard at the RCA Dome says crowd noise is fed back into P.A. system (285)
Yahoo Followup The election results: Pat Boone's guy failed miserably, a philandering SF mayor beat a field of nutters while Philadelphia elected one, Oregonians won't smoke their way to healthier kids and Utah voters think vouchers are a bad idea (105)
Washington Post Ironic Pat Robertson supports a pro-gay, pro-abortion, twice-divorced crossdresser for president (238)
(Ohio.com) Spiffy Hunting with guns is for sissies. This is the guy that went mano-a-hoof with a snorting six-point buck, and he just had a hunting knife (227)
TampaBays10.com Dumbass From the Department of It's About Time: Nick Hogan Bollea finally actually arrested for drag racing, crash. Let's see if he gets out of jail before lunch (140)
(Some Air Force Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what these two airmen are really unveiling (85)
(brain mysteries) Interesting Research indicates dogs have some ability to read minds, which explains why your dog looks at you and nods every time you think about steak (114)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man arrested for breaking into a elementary school cafeteria and stealing $2.25 (47)
(Some Guy) Interesting Want to watch porn in class? Go to Ohio State (128)
(Newshounds) Obvious O'Reilly is the king of titillating sex stories to "inform the folks" (87)
(Weblog Awards) Followup Can we top last year's total of 27,817 votes? Is the pope Catholic? Does Drew like beer? Is Melissa Theuriau the hottest news anchor in the world? (251)
Daily Mail Followup Here's the YouTube angle to that high-school shooting in Finland. You knew there would be one (65)
SLTrib Strange Hollywood writer's strike begins to affect the news: Parking lot fight involves meth, nunchucks and a gun nicknamed "Bang Bang" (32)
SLTrib Interesting Charges mount after man rams wife's rear end (35)
USA Today Interesting Bedbugs are making a comeback, providing a much-needed lift to the faltering "pithy bedtime expression" industry (119)
(IHT) Amusing Amtrak to begin advertising on side of trains, plans a Mad Magazine fold-in styled ad in case of collisions (77)
USA Today Amusing New U.S. military policy in Iraq dubbed "blow and go" by commanders who have obviously never read a Craigslist Casual Encounters ad (68)
(Some Scurvy Guy) Caption Caption this internet pirate (95)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Two clinical psychologists debate whether or not pornography is harmful. The debate goes back and forth, back and forth, back and forth (149)
BBC NewsFlash High school shooting in Finland. One dead, multiple shot, standoff in progress (533)
NPR Sick Divorced parents in court to fight over custody of son's foreskin, which is for the moment still attached (401)
News.com.au Amusing Prisoners cleaning car at minimum security prison wonder what would happen if they just drove away. Since you're seeing it on Fark... (28)
Lancashire Evening Post Hero (or Dumbass, whichever way you look at it): Man breaks world record for sitting in a bath filled with rattlesnakes (38)
BBC Obvious Father Christmas ordered to do more exercise to keep himself fit enough to deliver all those presents (28)
(Deep Frying Insanity) Strange Want some deep-fried cheese cake to go with your deep-fried Coca Cola? (76)
Yahoo Spiffy Queen opens Parliament, declares UK to be one nation under a groove (76)
Reuters Dumbass Confucius say, "Scam Chinese lottery system, spend life in prison" (28)
(Some Produce Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cucumber. Difficulty: Must be safe for work (78)
TBO Florida Librarians hunt down children's books that give kiddies phone number to pay-as-you-play sex line (44)
CNN Stupid If you can't beat 'em, mock 'em. The United States Goverment takes on the tough challenge of dealing with illegal immigration, one costume at a time (96)
(Brisbane Times) Misc Legowned (39)
The Sun Dumbass Don't ask, don't tell and don't invite the lesbian lance bombardier for a three-way with your girlfriend (92)
Yahoo Obvious Even if you're 5'1"... and a woman... and 82 years old, if you swing a hammer at the cops, you're getting tasered (96)
News.com.au Cool Sydney radio station attempting to get someone from every country in the world together for breakfast this Friday. Know anyone from Equatorial Guinea? (53)
AJC PSA Gwinnett County Police: We'll Taser Anybody Regardless Of Age, Bro (151)

Tue November 06, 2007
AZCentral Interesting Cigar shop owner tapes crooks in the act and posts the video on YouTube. "There's no honor among thieves, and his best friend today might be the one turning on him for a thousand bucks tomorrow." (75)
(Democrat & Chronicle) Sad College student who gave kids marijuana for Halloween gets busted when one of them narcs to his parents (138)
Google Cool The coolest pictures of Iran you'll look at today (413)
CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth Asinine Dallas suburb trying to outlaw consensual sex between adults in private homes. No you can't have boobies, not yours (221)
(LiveLink) Obvious Televangelists' lavish lifestyles draw Senate attention. The Amazing Randi does a facepalm (239)
UPI Cool Man dedicated to his employer for 25 years wins a legal battle that grants him the $4.9 million farm on which he worked (36)
Reno Gazette-Journal Unlikely Newspaper slaps Nevada governor with lawsuit for refusing to release public documents. For once, subby is proud of his employer (21)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Bad: 39-year-old teacher sleeps with 13-year-old boy. Worse: It was her 13-year-old daughter's boyfriend. (With pic "meh"-ness) (143)
Chicago Sun-Times Stupid Precious little snowflakes suspended, expelled from school for participating in anti-war protest (134)
Yahoo Obvious "While technologically and financially you are giants, morally you are pygmies" (80)
CNN Dumbass Head of National Children's Museum arrested for trading child pornography in AOL chat room. In other news, people still use AOL chat rooms (61)
SMH Obvious Scientists: Downloading music increases CD sales. Music industry officials: Lalala we can't heeeaaar yoooouuu (185)
Canada.com Interesting YouTube.ca is on-line. Creators say it's just like YouTube, only more polite and with fewer handguns (62)
(Some English Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fashionable English gent on his supercool bicycle (65)
The Scotsman Interesting Cryptically named "Yellow School Bus Commission" reveals secret plan to reduce number of cars around schools. (Bonus: Terror-inducing real headline) (33)
Chicago Tribune Scary What do you call 3,000 lawyers in a Pakistani jail? (182)
ABC News Strange "Two students at Southern Illinois University kidnapped, paddled and burned a young man with freshly baked cookies after a drug deal went bad." And then it got weird (94)
AP Spiffy House of Representatives successfully overrides President Bush's veto of a crucial water bill. Bringing the total number of things accomplished this year to... one (213)
Reuters Obvious Chicagovoted themostcaffeinated cityintheus alsoconsumes mostchocolateand caffeinatedsoftdrinks. GAH Too much pressure, I can't take it (61)
Canada.com Interesting Swiss study finds teen pot users are more socially driven and perform as well in school as abstainers. Now shut up and take your Ritalin and anti-depressants (89)
(Some Guy) Scary "Honey, doesn't that cloud look like a cow? Strange how it seems to be getting bigger" (93)
(Some Guy) Asinine Police called to subdue third-grader (102)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Interesting Minnesota police seek Pee-Wee Herman in case of vicious assault where man was unable to beat off his gray-suited attacker in a public place (42)
Sign On San Diego Stupid China building world's largest Ferris Wheel, dubbed "Great Wheel of China." Ah, I get it, there's the Great Wall of China and this plays on the name. That's funny (94)
(Some Guy) Followup Man who sued Westboro Baptist Church and won urges others to do the same. "It wasn't about the money, it was about setting a precedent" (334)
AP Hero Micron CEO turns down bonus due to bad year, will somehow make it on the $8 million in compensation he was already paid (67)
Miami Herald Florida Today's school shooting courtesy of Fark's favorite peninsula (80)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Unclear on the Concept Department: Global warming is especially hard for the poor because they can't afford their heating bills (207)
Yahoo Interesting House Republicans change their minds, force open debate of Cheney impeachment. "We're going to help them out, to explain themselves" (406)
Washington Post Silly There was no explanation for why it took Virginia 11 years to figure out what "poofter" means (171)
(Bad Astronomy) Cool Astronomers find solar system much like ours. Oil is $100 a barrel there, too (163)
Fox News Amusing School bans middle school's Christian club after they allowed members to bob for live goldfish (132)
Daily Mail Obvious British Prime Minister accused of racism as he unveils plans to make immigrants hold a job and speak English so they'll fit in, ignoring the fact that rest of British society does neither (92)
Boston Herald Asinine Want to serve only 2 months of a 20 year sentence for rape? Move to Massachusetts (132)
USA Today Sad Bush bests Gallup Poll record for number of Americans who “strongly disapprove” of the president, surpassing Nixon ‘74 (509)
Guardian.com Interesting Military lowering its standards to enlist recruits with a criminal record rather than just discharging them with one (131)
(Opinion Journal) Stupid According to The Wall Street Journal, the guy who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima just died, so we should be allowed to waterboard people. And just for good measure: Hitler (258)
Fox News Cool Arkansas man finds, and nearly throws away, a 4.38 carat diamond. Reportably still looking for teeth (73)
CBC Sad Bombing in Afghanistan kills dozens of children and politicians. The children will be missed (42)
Globe and Mail Weird Actual headline: Chainsaw-wielding mayor enrages museum board (27)
(Some Guy) Florida In case anyone was unclear about the respective rankings of Floridians and carnie-folk in the social hierarchy, this story should clear things up (93)
ABC Action News Florida Skip out on your tab? That's a tazin', bro (118)
MSNBC Interesting The pope meets in public for the first time ever with Saudi king. Usually, they convene in the secrecy of the Pentavirate meetings with the Swiss bankers and Colonel Sanders (73)
The Sun Dumbass Pete Doherty is back on smack. The Sun is there with graphic video goodness -- but "only to show Doherty is not cured and is a terrible role model" (139)
(PR-Inside) Obvious Arnold vows to crush the arsonists, see them driven before him, hear the lamentations of their women (78)
Houston Chronicle Dumbass Man calls police to report the theft of 150 pounds of marijuana. Bonus: When police arrive, he still has 15 pounds of marijuana left. Farktastic: He's an illegal alien (83)
(Colbert) Amusing Writers strike on Colbert Report? Check. Doritos can't fund his campaign? Check. Oh man, it's not been Colbert's week (Sponsored Link) (84)
AP Sad In the fourth year of the occupation, 2007 is the deadliest year yet for U.S. in Iraq. Five more months and Bush gets a set of steak knives (397)
BBC Strange In the UK, it is illegal to die while in the houses of Parliament. No one is quite sure what the punishment is though (110)
(City Journal) Weird Forty-six percent of the British public is aware of the fact that the Jews are in league with the Freemasons in a bid to take control of their government and media. Wait, what? (883)
(Some Hungry Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cheeseburger (122)
(MAGENTA) Silly German telecom giant T-Mobile patents the color magenta in all things telecom-related, digital media and anything to do with the Internet (145)
News.com.au Interesting Man loses control of his dinghy, spends seven hours stuck to a buoy. For once, it wasn't Michael Jackson (51)
(GG) Amusing You act as if you've never seen a 120-mph electric golf buggy before (64)
Seattle Times Spiffy Iconic Kit-Cat Klock turns 75. I made you a cake but I eated it (137)
(consumerist.com) Scary Not news: Chinese made toy withdrawn from sale. News: Australia's toy of the year. Fark: The non-toxic glue it contains synthesises in the body into the date-rape drug, GHB (120)
Wired Sad Kill -9 wife (261)
ABC News Amusing On election day in Kentucky, the question isn't "Will the Democrats win?" The questions are "How badly will they whup Ernie Fletcher's corrupt ass?" and "Will you give me bourbon in return for voting?" (180)
(Weblog Awards) Followup Day Two of the 2007 "Behold the Power of Fark" Initiative. Have you done your patriotic duty and voted yet? (176)
News.com.au Dumbass Lottery fraudster to face more balls, but these ones won't have numbers written on them (19)
(Boing Boing) Cool The ultimate must-have Christmas shopping list item -- a combination video-game cabinet and kegerator (36)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this man and his unfortunate pooch (89)
(Some Guy) Florida Oh, the ski mask goes OVER the face (27)
AP Interesting Tooth Fairy in talks with officials on ways to avoid bankruptcy after child discovers tooth from wooly mammoth (16)
(HuffPo) Unlikely There's a small section of tarmac at Los Angeles International Airport that isn't part of the United States of America (138)
NYPost Obvious Here's a holiday tip: The list of people to thank has grown and so has the amount needed to show your gratitude... [AHEM] (104)
Telegram Dumbass Man on trial for showing pre-teen girl his air freshener (81)
The Newspaper Scary Good news: Your days of being pulled over for speeding are numbered. Bad news: Your days of being pulled over for speeding are numbered (148)
SLTrib Strange Amid accusations of wild parties and teen drinking, Utah district attorney demands an investigation... of herself (24)
BBC Interesting Church of England welcomes the return to traditional religious images for this year's Christmas stamps, with pictures including angels, Madonna and Child and a settlement cheque (25)
BBC Sad Indian constable tries to intervene in brawl at massive wedding party, doesn't live to see climactic musical production afterward (29)
(Der Spiegel) Dumbass German bank teller gets caught stealing money from childrens' piggy banks. Criminal mastermind stole up to $75 from kids aged one to nine (36)
Komo Dumbass Republican lawmaker involved in sexual harassment scandal says he can't recall exactly what he said to the woman, but is "sure it was very inappropriate, because I do that kind of thing" (72)
The Sun Obvious Man wants £1 million to let a company tattoo its logo on his back for life. Look for Shirtless Fark.com Dude to start being a regular at Fark parties near you (40)
(Some Girl) Asinine Teen is serving detentions for hugging her classmate. You mess with the bull, you get the horns (166)
CBS Salt Lake City Cool Man sets up sting to catch political sign thief. He gets his man, on camera, with the help of a cowbell and some fishing line. Score one for passive democracy (41)
Google Photoshop Theme: The world today if Native Americans had successfully thwarted Europeans from taking over their land back in the 1600s (101)
AZCentral Scary Woman exposes genitals over egg-throwing argument involving a BB gun and a 13-year-old boy. And in case you think it's still not ready for Fark.com, wait for it... "she" used to be a "he" (with pic) (100)
The Sun Dumbass When nausea gets the better of you at the train station, there are better places to vomit than off of the platform with your head extended over the tracks (46)
(Some Guy) Scary Kirkwood, MO woman attacked by burglar with one of the freakiest police sketches you'll ever see (144)
The Smoking Gun Sick All states whose kids don't smoke human waste to get high, step forward. Not so fast, Florida. The Smoking Gun is reluctantly there (310)
Telegraph Obvious University graduates leaving university with more debt than their annual salary. But to be fair to them, $5.50 an hour and their McHappy Meals for half price isn't much of a help, even if their paper hats and uniform are free (175)

Mon November 05, 2007
(Daily Kos) Amusing DailyKos needs your help with a little poll of their own (212)
Yahoo Asinine Boys receive probation after filming sexual assault on 17-year-old girl, then distributing it on DVD entitled "C**t the Movie" (268)
UPI Silly Donald Wildmon and the AFA have their knickers in a knot because military stores offer sexually explicit material... like Playboy and Penthouse. Let's hope they don't realize American personel have access to the Internet (132)
Daily Mail Amusing 150,000 women sign up for Facebook network in which they discuss the stupid stuff they've done while drunk and post their photos. And the photos are magnificent(and slightly NSFW) (178)
Flickr Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Find a good use for this control panel (83)
(WLWT) Followup In a desperate last minute attempt to grab the fundie vote, Ky Governor orders the 10 Commandments placed in the state Capitol building (110)
(NBC4) Dumbass Jewish student demands university find out who is drawing swastikas over and over on her door. University installs hidden camera to investigate, discovers student drawing the swastikas herself. You know who else drew swastikas on his door (243)
(Star News) Scary Google Earth lets Israel's enemies see its sensitive military targets in detail as small as two meters. Hamas, PLO mutter something about bullseying womp rats in their T-16 back home (184)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Writers strike could lead to "Battlestar Galactica," "The 4400," "Psych," and "The Closer" on network TV (150)
Rolling Stone Cool Rolling Stone takes the next step in the evolution of old media on the Internet by launching a digital issue of Rolling Stone for free (38)
Orlando Sentinel Florida It's great when a father and son can share common interests, like attacking a guy growing pot in his home and then ransacking the place (16)
ESPN Stupid Sensitive sports stars may skip Beijing Olympics over poor air quality. Human rights abuses apparently are not quite as irritating (46)
Newsday Followup CBS blames noise during Colts game on dead 9 volt or something (121)
(Huffington Post) Hero Jon Stewart will pay the salaries of his writers and those of the Colbert Report out of his own pocket during the WGA strike, for up to two weeks, so they do not face finanical hardship (167)
(pol watchers) Followup Turns out Pat Boone was right. The "homosexual lobby" supports Democratic candidate for Kentucky governor (with another robo-phone call) (47)
AFP Dumbass News: Man finds grenade. Newsier: Man takes grenade to police station. Newsiest: Police evacuate station due to there being a grenade in it (28)
(Some UniJournalist) Asinine Bomb threats to schools have become so common in Deleware County, Indiana, they no longer warrant full stories from the local newspaper (18)
Breitbart.com Followup Colbert/Colbert drops out of presidential race. Doritos (81)
(News4Jax) Scary Continental jet has emergency landing due to cracked windshield, sagging rear bumper (35)
ABC 2 Asinine How Baltimore should deal with murder and mayhem: "Free bullet proof backpacks for everyone" (46)
Homestar Runner Amusing Strongbad flames Halloween costumes 2007 (32)
Wired Interesting How "Halo 3" makes you realize suicide bombing is a legitimate tactic. Cue the outrage in 3... 2... 1... BOOM (181)
MSNBC Stupid Alltel's way of remembering how to change its phones' clocks: "Spring forward, fall on face" (20)
BBC Stupid Humping the sidewalk is enough to get you on the sex offender registry in Scotland, apparently (37)
(Science Daily) Interesting Part of the universe has gone missing. EVERYONE PANIC (120)
WTOP Ironic The death knell for traffic cameras: They lead to lower city revenues (110)
SuperDeluxe Video Dog the Bounty Hunter uses Beth's left breast to find last remaining Nazis. Because the right one is much too powerful (81)
Miami Herald Florida The Negro Community frowns upon the shenanigans of readers on the Miami Herald's forums (209)
(Cinemax) Plug Cinemax will finally stop showing people having fake sex and start showing people having actual sex. Fourteen-year-old boys heard canceling plans this weekend. (Sponsored Link) (90)
(NY Sun) Interesting World Bank to loan Iran $900 million. After all, it's not like Iran has a bunch of oil it can sell for $96 a barrel. It needs a loan (62)
(Some Guy) Obvious Just because attacking Iran right now is a horrible idea, that doesn't mean that Bush and Cheney won't do it (343)
The Newspaper Amusing If you want to take your Porsche into London you can pay $50 toll per day, or you can spend $180 to register it as a taxi and drive free for a year (65)
(Some Guy) Interesting Grand jury indicts porn store owner for obscenity after viewing porn videos. Jury reportedly interested, interested, very interested, and then not so interested anymore (74)
Breitbart.tv Obvious Rare albino deer spotted by Minnesota woman on 1st day of hunting season. Ted Nugent ensues (125)
(WPOT) Dumbass Before harvesting $25K worth of primo weed from the forest, be sure there aren't search-and-rescue teams looking for lost hikers near your pot crop (35)
CBS 4 Denver Video Crazy guy threatens to kill people at Colorado State Capitol. Watch as state patrol tries to get him to drop deadly coke bottle (20)
Sports by Brooks Asinine Maybe Patriots fans aren't paranoid. Possible evidence of Colts pumping in artificial crowd noise (197)
(Some Guy) PSA Remember, remember the 5th of November. The gunpowder, treason, and plot. I know of no reason why the gunpowder treason should ever be forgot (144)
CBS Boston NewsFlash Airline crews gets sick on flight to Boston. Five people show symptoms of CO poisoning EVERYBODY PANIC (Headline from tomorrow: it's just that vomit bug that's been going around lately) (152)
(Some Guy) Followup Eighteen years later and Exxon still hasn't paid the $5 billion a jury said it should pay (later reduced by a judge to $2.5 billion) for the Valdez oil spill -- and now they might get out of paying that, too (187)
(Big Head DC) Weird ABC News secretly tapes gay kissing. The question is why? (120)
(MetroWest Daily News) Dumbass Excuses that won't get you out of a ticket: "He didn't move, so I drove into the back of him" (46)
Daily Mail Asinine Mom delivers twins, holds them, then dies of blood loss because her idiotic religion refuses blood transfusions and prefers children not have moms (527)
The Sun Obvious Female soldier claims sex discrimination just because she's a lesbian. A really hot lesbian (136)
Chicago Sun-Times Unlikely Oprah Winfrey is so important that, when she cries, it makes the news (124)
News.com.au Stupid Convenience store owner issued record-setting fine for selling tobacco to a minor, which normally carries a maximum penalty of $31,500 (53)
Boston Globe Strange In last night's debate, Guiliani apparently admitted to torturing mafia suspects while a U.S. prosecutor. That, or he was just talking out his rear end again (405)
(Some Guy) Obvious Yahoo launches Kickstart, a social networking site for college students and grads that is not like Facebook in any way, shape or form, uh uh, no way, no siree bob (52)
(Some Truck Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this monster truck mishap (53)
Google Interesting Scientists to Indonesian volcano: Hey, don't worry about it, that happens to a lot of volcanoes. It's not your fault (26)
London Times Amusing Fool me once: Shame on you. Fool me twice: Shame on me. Fool a vending machine: Fun for the whole family (38)
(Your Squirrel Overlords) Scary Nation cowers in fear as squirrels begin to launch electrical disruption attacks EVERYBODY PANIC (51)
LA Times Dumbass San Diego mulls alcohol ban on beaches after morans started a brawl that required riot police to break it up. San Diegans just can't catch a break these days (103)
(Weblog Awards) Cool It's that time again -- time to show the power of Fark (466)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Police search for stolen cruiser after thief broadcasts on police radio (29)
(wfsb.com) Dumbass Bad: You get into a car accident. Worse: You flee the scene. Fark: You enter somone's basement only to get shot at by the homeowner (66)
(TPM) Amusing Down in the polls with one day to go, Kentucky Republican gubernatorial candidates pull out all the stops: Get Pat Boone to make an emergency robo-phone call labelling their opponents as big San Francisco gaybos (112)
Yahoo Followup In an attempt to improve their PR image, Pakistani police go after lawyers (93)
BBC Obvious Eighty percent of Americans think people need to change their lifestyle to reduce climate change… as long as it’s not them who have to do the changing (188)
News.com.au Unlikely Old and busted: Heroin, nicotine. New hotness: Addicted to Facebook (53)
(Some Guy) Dumbass It's Monday, so it's time for your piping hot mug of teacher/student sex... brought to you today from Down Under with bonus sheila on sheila action (90)
Denver Post Interesting Masked man steals car, then a police cruiser. Last seen heading west accompanied by unnamed injun (21)
AP Florida Florida teens in no rush to get driver's licenses. "I don't see what the big deal is." For once, we thank you for your apathy, teens (66)
(Daily Mail) PSA Mixing vodka and Red Bull can be deadly, warn experts. Subby now needs a new breakfast choice (127)
Canoe PSA It's a crime in Ottowa to shape your hand like a gun and say "Bang" (135)
(abc7.com) Followup Last minute negotiations fail and Hollywood writers begin strike. Headline would have been better but my writer is on the picket line (256)
Daily Mail Stupid The plusses and minuses of running away with your math teacher when you're seven times two (59)
The Sun Obvious One third of Britons think a balanced diet is a handful of spotted dick in one hand and a deep-fried Mars Bar in the other (81)
(Yorkshire Evening Post) Sappy Daisy the Cat goes missing in 2002 and shows up five years later when her owner's other pet, an Alsation, dies. Apparently the two pets always got on. Yeah, right (33)
News24 Sad Wheelchair athlete misses New York Marathon because airline lost his wheelchair -- AGAIN (50)
News.com.au Stupid Busted for drunk driving: Shame on you. Busted again later: Shame on your parents. Busted a third time after stealing your impounded car: Shame on the cops. All within 24 hours: Shame on society (23)
AP Cool Couple from Hell win Halloween lottery (28)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this old time magician (70)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Nothing good can happen at 4:00 a.m. when you decide to tackle your buddy while he's holding a gas can and standing next to a bonfire (31)
London Times Asinine Under proposed new British law, teens who aren't in school, or have a job, or in training for one, will face on-the-spot fines. You finished rakin' the yard yet, boy? (104)
(Savannah Morning News) Interesting The upside to that sucky drought in Georgia: Pecan pies for all (58)
Fox News Scary Demon appears in photo of couple. No, no, it's to the right of the guy (281)
(Some Guy) Strange Woman shocked when naked transient enters her house claiming he's running from killers (20)
Fond du Lac Reporter Weird Driver of a truck full of dead deer -- some with painted heads -- tells police he was under contract with the Wisconsin Department of Natural Resources to pick up dead deer. Was this true? No one knows (34)
CBS New York Dumbass If you got away after a bungled robbery, but your accomplice who shot a police officer was captured, it's probably not a good idea to go to the police station to check on your captured partner (7)
Telegraph Strange Girl in India born with eight limbs. Experts don't know if they should operate on her or worship her (256)
(WBIR NBC 10) Strange Nashville: I can has 70 story building? FAA: NOT YOURS (56)