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Sun March 09, 2008
News.com.au Interesting Australia has six submarines but only three crews to man them, since they can't find enough Australian men willing to go months undersea without a beer (16)
CBS News Asinine Innocent man in prison for 26 years. Thank you, attorney-client privilege (77)
Yahoo Scary Leona Helmsley's clothes to be auctioned off. You can still smell the misanthropy on them (20)
(Some Guy) Florida Busybody wants to protect his precious snowflakes from foul language...in a park (216)
News.com.au Amusing The roar of the crowd at a football match inspires a retired greyhound to do four laps around the stadium - for which she gets a standing ovation (65)
CNN Hero News: Woman returns $30,000 in cash to its rightful owner. Fark: Even though she found the money in a donation's basket. Bonus: Even though her mother needed it for an eye operation (66)
USA Today Interesting Several states facing shortage of vets. Upon hearing the report Bush promises to start more wars (104)
CBS Salt Lake City Stupid Mormon missionaries in trouble for taking photos of themselves "mocking" Catholics (170)
WTOP Weird It is now illegal to french kiss a child in Virginia, ruining family reunions for thousands (90)
The Sun Dumbass If you've bought a novelty gun-shaped cigarette lighter, don't take it out and wave it around at your local McDonald's (36)
(Some B&W Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this man holding a bottle of something (76)
News.com.au Asinine China will launch the "world's most luxurious train", with interior standards of a 5-star hotel, on route from Beijing to Lhasa. Free Tibet (139)
(Some Guy) Sad Coming soon: The First Cathedral of Gas 'N' Munch (92)
MSNBC Dumbass Bush sings song about leaving D.C. and moving back to Texas; initial reports indicate his singing sucks, but the applause was deafening (107)
CBS 2 Lost Angeles Weird Man crashes and dies in race. An Illegal Soapbox Federation race (61)
(OC Register) Sappy Man takes 47 years to find his lost love, reach second base (47)
Lancashire Evening Post Amusing What do you get if you put 1,000 people in green tights and lycra in a castle? (73)
Daily Mail Sad Meowschwitz (340)
Independent Amusing Israeli Army claims that playing Dungeons & Dragons is a sign of mental and moral inferiority (245)
(FreeRice) Cool Here's a timewaster that may make you smarter, or at least help you create better headlines (150)
AJC Cool Forget your ipod, mp3 or CD player: vinyl records are making a comeback (291)
CNN Amusing "According to one report militants who were killed earlier this year planning an attack set to begin on August 8." O'RLY? Zombie militants? (59)
Yahoo Unlikely Consumer Reports lists the 11 worst cars of the year. Ford's been paying their bills - just one model on the list, a Mercury at #11 (268)
Orlando Sentinel Interesting Ugly ass bug-eyed spot-nosed guenon born at central Florida zoo. Bonus pic AND video freakiness (13)
London Times Unlikely "A camera that can see through people’s clothing at distances of up to 80ft has been developed" and will certainly not be misused for any reason (59)
Newsday Hero A 19-year-old medic from Texas is the second woman since WWII to earn the Silver Star (150)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Very cool picture of the Earth at night (155)
Google Photoshop Photoshop theme: Trading cards for political figures (49)
(Honolulu Star-Bulletin) Obvious What Hawaii newspapers print on slow news days: People love watching lava flows (36)
(Some Guy) Cool The ten most badass swords in history. "They took our freedom, but they can't take this really cool sword" (282)
Seattle Times Spiffy Beer and wine samples? In MY grocery store? It's more likely than you think (105)
News.com.au Scary "I just thought the lion wanted to play when it attacked me and tried to snap my brainstem." w/ Safe For Breakfast pics of cute victim (124)
(Some Bunnay) Interesting The rabbit whispers, says "We all must celebrate Bunday" Let us celebrate (162)
News.com.au Spiffy China thwarts terror attack planned for the Olympic Games, gets a 9.0 from all the judges (107)
(tmz) Asinine Pro-life group chanted anti-abortion slogans at the premiere of "Horton Hears a Who," apparently not aware of the difference between a cinematic abortion and a literal one (657)
SMH Scary Hundreds of Russian fishermen stranded on ice floe, now wishing they hadn't spent the day with those ice holes (30)
Mercury News Asinine Why you should read your fortune BEFORE you burgle two Chinese restaurants (33)
SFGate Weird Urologist subjects patients to unnecessary treatment; found guilty by jury of pee-ers (33)
CBS Sacramento Amusing You know that 'hyphenating your maiden name and married name' thing? Sometimes it's just not a good idea (18-pic slideshow) (201)
CBS Sacramento Sick Today's mom-banging-basketball-team story brought to you by Vacaville, CA. (with "DO NOT WANT SUNTAN" mugshot) (133)
(Some Dusty Thingy) Photoshop Photoshop this thingy (57)
News.com.au Interesting Margaret Thatcher is home from hospital after have some work done to her titanium endoskeleton. Expected to live for 128 years on existing power cell (94)
(Some Founder) Cool Come for the geekiness, stay for the beer. The Portland Fark Party is underway, if anyone can still make it -- LGT venue, DIT (37)

Sat March 08, 2008
Sign On San Diego Misc Body found packed in dry ice at hotel. First responders didn't want to move the body due to the high minibar prices (83)
Free Press Asinine School district considers adding one more standard test that students are bound to fail at (87)
(Niagara Gazette) Weird "Reliable sources say he announced his arrival to face trespassing charges by entering the Court Clerk’s office and uttering, 'Van Halen in the house'" (31)
CBS Sacramento Dumbass Hotshot lawyer loses $1 million in casinos, dips into clients' funds to gamble more, loses everything, and then files a lawsuit for $20 million against casinos, because it's not her fault. "They had a duty of care to me" (223)
Time News Serbian government going out of business, all items 90% off, everything must go (244)
Telegraph Scary Today's Fark-ready headline: "John Denver karaoke sparks Thai killing spree" (126)
Washington Post Stupid Maryland police say the county should pay their speeding tickets because they were driving county-owned cars (95)
Yahoo Obvious Everyone knows about this, so why do they keep writing these stupid articles every year? Yes, it's time for Daylight Savings. We know, we know, so shut up already (179)
(Some What) Photoshop Photoshop this um... dentist? (54)
London Times Scary Britain placed on high alert, expecting to be "bombed" tomorrow night. By an "explosive storm." I say, shall we all panic? Quite (123)
Daily Mail Strange If you ever wondered what the Addams family wedding was like, it might have been a bit like this (99)
BBC Amusing Kashmir suspends killing stray dogs. Robert Plant's dog now sitting with elders of the gentle race, this world has seldom seen (99)
Seattle Times Sad If you think your luck's bad - try having a brain tumor removed, then having your car stolen and finding it with the thieves inside, only to watch hapless police bungle the arrest and your car end up totalled. In the same week (112)
Reuters Spiffy Pretty much the greatest news story ever published (171)
AP Obvious Congressman slams FAA, says they are too cozy with the airlines and they need to "clean house from top to bottom." Now he'll never see his luggage ever again (64)
(Pew Pew Pew Research) Stupid Sixty percent of 'net users say they are "not worried" about how much information is available about them online. Where's a good facepalm when you need one? (151)
Reuters Weird In what may be the end of modern civilization as we know it, man creates online fantasy fishing league and wants Hulk Hogan to help him promote the ultimate downfall of humanity into a cesspit of apathy and sloth (53)
The Tennessean Cool Tennessee may finally allow wine sales in grocery stores. Prohibition surrenders (113)
(NewsChannel5) Stupid Proposed bill would require paternity tests for all newborns in Tennessee. Maury Povich considers move to Memphis (281)
(Gimundo) Hero Russian general who resisted pushing the button - the pretty, shiny button - barely getting by on meager pension. It's not nukes, it's Fark.com (167)
Guardian.com PSA If you planned to take a train in the UK after Easter, you might want to rethink your plans (28)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these red-devil jumpers (54)
London Times Stupid Britain proposes reducing speed limits and saturating highways with speed cameras - setting aside one lane where you can pay to drive 70 instead of 60 (98)
London Times Interesting Everything you think you know about plastic bags is false. The world is round again (133)
Reuters Amusing There's a major celebrity paternity battle brewing in Germany, involving millions of euros in revenue, regional pride, and one incredibly cute ... polar bear? (15)
Telegraph Obvious British dishes like toad in the hole and spotted dick becoming extinct as even Brits refuse to eat them (140)
Free Press Interesting Police statistics confirm there are more car accidents the Mondays after the "spring ahead" time change. It's not snooze, it's Fark.com (38)
Baltimore Sun Cool If at first you don't succeed... Baltimore cell phone ban for motorists finally moves to Senate floor after 10 years of trying (50)
YouTube Video Simon's Cat in "Let Me In". Perfect entertainment for Caturday (578)
(King 5 News) Amusing Not News: Clinton runs attack ad involving a "red phone." News: The ad uses stock footage from 8 years ago. Fark: The girl in the stock footage wants Obama to pick up the red phone (w/video interview) (229)
CBS Salt Lake City Dumbass Homeless man believes he can best Henry Earl's record, "arrested for the 452nd time this week" (w/mugshot) (49)
(Kent Online) Scary Mysterious black leopard reported to be roaming around graveyard in England. I WANT TO BEREAVE (45)
(Some Guy) Interesting Man tries to clean up by holding up a bookie with a can of furniture spray, but his performance was less than polished (29)
Quad City Times Interesting Milk cows have difficulty adjusting to daylight-saving time. It's not moos, it's Fark.com (40)
Google Photoshop Photoshop a magazine advertisement for a flying car (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting Two 14-year-old boys kicked out of school for taking Viagra. It was the hardest punishment they ever gave (68)
(Winnipeg Free Press) Ironic Not News: Group can't afford lawyer for public inquiry. Fark: It's the Bar Association (32)
London Times Scary I am SO tired of hearing people who survive being buried alive by breathing air trapped in their hat, then get rescued and thank Buddhist breathing techniques (72)
(Some Guy) Obvious Short women found to live longer, listen to more jokes that start, "Hey, as long as you're down there ..." (109)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Cuties, uglies, t-shirts with catchy slogans, a nipple slip, unfortunate facial hair, and patriotism - all this and more can be found in this week's mugshot roundup (206)

Fri March 07, 2008
Local6 Florida Man gets $321 ticket for feeding the dolphin in the Banana River; surprisingly, that's not a euphemism (60)
Reuters Amusing If you’re going to park your tank to buy more vodak, the people across the street would like to kindly remind you to set the parking brake (89)
Fox News Dumbass Bush to veto legislation barring use of waterboarding. Heard to exclaim "hey, what do those guys have against surfing anyway?" (612)
Denver Post Amusing Denver schoolteachers play hooky on disinterested students (55)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this mysterious island (82)
(Some Guy) Amusing A brawl involving 10-15 people, a tasering, and five arrests? Just an average night at the local Waffle House (79)
(995fm.com) Amusing "I am a vagina-friendly mayor" (128)
Fox News Misc Mother of the year candidate arrested after her four-year-old daughter shows up to school drunk (103)
Yahoo Interesting Columbian Rebel killed by his own security team. It's not news, it's FARC (62)
Local6 Florida Nearly 30 cats taken from home filled with huge piles of trash, but really, this article was only greenlit for the mugshot (149)
(Some Drunk) Dumbass What's that, Lassie? A woman got drunk, crashed her SUV, and fell down a 30-foot well? (22)
Orlando Sentinel Florida 80-year-old woman punches cop several times, wiggles out of her handcuffs and throws them out the window of the police car. This is a buddy cop movie just *waiting* to happen (31)
Fox News Interesting List of Thwarted Terror Attacks Since Sept. 11 (422)
Aftenposten.no Interesting Crime in Oslo, Norway, is four times that of New York, featuring high rates of robbery, car theft, and assault with a deadly herring (87)
Hartford Courant PSA New best state to speed in: Connecticut (100)
My Fox DC Amusing Entire Virginia town forgets to vote (71)
National Review Obvious "If anyone doubts that Obama's supporters engage in cult-like behavior, try pointing out that they engage in cult-like behavior." (589)
Valleywag Ironic Fark.com gets Dugg by someone who has never heard of Fark, threatening collapse of space-time continuum (244)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Throwing a rock through the back window of a police cruiser? Ten days in jail and $1,100. Arrested wearing your Slash t-shirt? Priceless (93)
(Some Guy) Stupid Amy Whinehouse has a new party trick: Step 1, Set vodak on fire. Step 2: snort it (273)
(Science Daily) Florida University of Florida burn experts found that 69 percent of the 155 pediatric foot and ankle burns they reviewed were caused by children walking on hot ashes, coals and embers. So, I guess the take home message is don't walk on fire, kids (83)
(Enviroment Times) Spiffy Cardboard clothes hanger may replace 100 million landfilled wire ones, would certainly have made the beatings from Joan Crawford less traumatizing (104)
CBS New York Stupid You find a bag with $15,000 in it in the middle of the road. Do you A) Keep it, spend it, love it? B) Donate it to charity? C) Return it to the woman who lost it after leaving it on top of her car and driving off? (316)
Seattle Times Obvious State ethics commission rules that state legislators are allowed to act like complete douchebags (198)
Canoe Weird Not news: Man walks out on his wife. Fark.com: She burns their 400 cellphones (47)
(Some Stumptowner) Cool A Fark Party in Portland on Saturday / is a good way to end this week's Caturday / So come out for some booze / come mingle and schmooze / Bring your favorite meme and cliche (83)
(Some Guy) Misc Justin Timberlake’s “My Problem With Women” first episode titled “They Don’t Have Penises” (81)
ABC Action News Amusing New Britney Spears pregnancy speculation. Or maybe she's just a fat redneck (127)
The Smoking Gun Amusing Key West street performer "Gold Man" arrested, in costume, for selling crack to undercover cop. With mug shot, police evidence photo hilarity (133)
SMH Weird The "scientific research" which Japan uses as a justification for its continued whaling includes such vital questions as "is it possible to cross-breed a whale and a cow?" (86)
STLToday Followup Substitute teacher pleads guilty to having sex with the world’s luckiest 14-year-old (w/ pic) (446)
Newsday Scary Apparently New York has the toughest anti-masturbation laws in the country (116)
WFTV Florida Florida bank begins foreclosure proceedings on man's house while he's in England, changes locks and empties pool before discovering he didn't have a mortgage with them (93)
(Some slow learner) Dumbass Drug Dealing 101 (again): "If you have 12 lbs of pot and $100K in the car, don't speed. Because you might lose the 6,700 lbs you've got in your basement, too (88)
Local6 Florida Deputies stop naked man who was stalking an alligator, thus depriving Fark of an even better story (28)
(Some President) Photoshop Photoshop Mount Rushmore (72)
Houston Chronicle Interesting British House of Lords votes to abolish their god-damned blasphemy laws (52)
Kansas.com Dumbass Police arrest 10 at video porn store. People still go out for porn? What about the internets? (98)
CBC Dumbass Obama foreign policy advisor calls Hillary Clinton a "monster". Later apologizes to Godzilla, Rodan and Count Orlok for making the comparison (538)
(Some Guy) Stupid Newspapers prove they aren't dead by redesigning to include "Why are you smiling?" Q&As with random people on the street and 'brag book' Sunday section of reader-submitted baby photos (46)
(Some Spiegel) Strange Nobody thought anyone could beat the Belgians at packing children into car trunks, until this Romanian family came along (53)
Yahoo Interesting Lincoln's Log stardate 1865.4.15, The natives are getting restless here but seem to relax when I scribble on the papers they offer me. I think I shall go see a show (49)
(Some Amazon) Amusing The comments for Playmobil's new Airport Security Check Point at Amazon are giving Tuscan whole milk a run for its money (164)
Nerve Obvious "Sexual attractiveness, as behavioral scientists are discovering, is for the most part based on the amount of social capital a person possesses" (304)
Philly Asinine Good: New Jersey legislators want to prepare kids for real life. Fark: by testing them for steroids from age 12 (44)
Newsday Followup Realizing his tank and thirty-seven troops will get crushed by Columbia's hardened army, Chavez calls for cooling tensions (238)
(Rasmussen) Obvious Poll: 54% of Americans aware of Daylight Savings Time on Sunday. Ha, 46 percent will be early to church. Or late. It's spring back, right, like foam springs back? (205)
(wigantoday) Dumbass Breakfast radio show host inadvertently creates the best hour on radio (141)
IOL Strange Swiss government tackles catastrophic Brazilian cow gut shortage crisis (30)
KnoxNews Unlikely Police seize 40 pounds of low quality pot "worth" about $40,000. Wait, what? (182)
(AOL) Ironic America Online gives us a list of 20th century brands that will fizzle out soon (228)
AP Followup Officials say there's no link between bombing of Army recruiting station in Times Square and letters sent to Congress saying "We did it". It was just a "coincidence" (62)
Yahoo Obvious General says Al Qaeda may be plotting to attack US. Also says sun may be plotting a rise, rain may be plotting a fall, and dog may be plotting getting a steak (91)
Slashdot Asinine Study groups are now considered cheating (213)
Boston Globe Interesting Driving instructor who wasn't driving gets a DUI when his blood-alcohol tests three times the legal limit, claims he was teaching a lesson on designated driving (51)
Daily Mail Obvious Britain cancels plans to introduce carpool lane due to safety fears. Driving on the wrong side of the road still okay, though (52)
(Some Floridian) Followup Mother accused of power-washing her two-year old daughter at a car wash turns herself in. Police marvel at how shiny and clean the two-year old is (161)
CBS News Strange Men dress up as cowboys in order to steal doughnuts, and then it gets stupid (33)
Denver Channel Strange Colorado Springs police solve a murder case. Fark: committed in 1893 (73)
(Some Appalachian) Photoshop Photoshop these old timers and their relaxing break (63)
CBS News Amusing Athol pithed (124)
SFGate Weird Thieves are stealing beehives in California. To the Beemobile! (76)
Guardian.com Interesting 8-year-old Brazilian boy passes law school entrance exam, will sue the crap out of anyone who makes that brazilion joke (70)
The Sun Asinine People turning away free surgery in the Nanny State just because there are dead, rotting rats littering the operating rooms (122)
STLToday Cool Beer me up, Scotty (58)
ABC News Hero Last living American WWI veteran honored at White House by fellow war hero (140)
Canoe Silly With $15,000 on the line, 150 women race down the streets of Amsterdam in stiletto high heels. What could possibly go wrong? (53)
Telegraph Sick French hotel best known for serving Marmite to guests wins Michelin star. Australian hotels intrigued, would like to subscribe to the newsletter (90)
Guardian.com Sappy Grounded and caged for 27 years, a golden eagle named Methuselah has been taught to fly again (51)
Telegraph Interesting French women turning into "sexual predators" on news that one in five young French men have no interest in having sex (426)

Thu March 06, 2008
Telegraph Cool Labrador plunges 115ft off cliff onto ocean, manages to land safely, swims to shore, farks a couple of biatches and demands filet mignon (137)
AP Cool Pets in Wisconsin can now get restraining orders. Your dog would like you to stay 1,000 feet away unless you've got steak (31)
Kansas.com Dumbass "Surprisingly, a decomposing bear foot has whole lot of similarities to a decomposing human foot" say cops. Darwin beggs to differ (76)
MSNBC Dumbass Woman tries to breakup with boyfriend by calling in fake bomb threats to his plane flight. "She believed he would leave her alone after finding out she made the calls". The two years in prison should assure that (50)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: Guy falls asleep in cinema during chick-flick. News: Wife leaves him there to teach him a lesson. Fark: Goes unnoticed by staff, locked in for the night (99)
Newsday Followup NYPD releases video of Times Square bicycle bomber - all six pixels of him (145)
Guardian.com Asinine Power to Karachi, Pakistan's largest city, cut off after officials there prove no better at paying their bills than you (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you already have four drunk driving charges under your belt, you probably want to make sure you're not so intoxicated when you pick up your kids from daycare that other parents have to step over your body in the hallway (59)
Reuters Obvious Bush: America still not safe from terrorist attack. Americans: Thanks for nothing, a-hole (700)
News.com.au Interesting Krispy Kreme offers to pay customers' mortgages for six months. That's a lot of doughnuts (36)
The Register Asinine British-owned websites for a Spanish travel agency that are hosted in the Bahamas get shut down by the US Treasury Department (35)
AFP Amusing French girl who sent a letter to her mother in heaven has it returned with a fine. Might want to send that in the other direction, mon amie (86)
Metro Strange "This is smurf war. We'd be happy to go head to head with Chester University in a smurf-off." (pic) (53)
(Some Guy) Wheaton Wil needs 1000 true fans to ensure he can make a living from his work, 999 Wesley4Eva T-shirts left in stock (130)
Denver Channel Asinine Denver voters made it clear last November that they don’t want police spending time and resources busting people who smoke marijuana ... so why are marijuana arrests up? (235)
CBS Sacramento Asinine California thinks homeschool isn't cool, and rules to make it harder for parents to teach kids at home (499)
Sports by Brooks Spiffy If you live near Vienna and are naked, an American artist is requesting your services (24)
WSAZ Misc Student sues school for letting him graduate. You're doing it wrong (64)
(Ealing Times) Amusing Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, except maybe a karate expert woman scorned. She hath TONS of fury (88)
590 KLBJ Amusing Assault charges filed against Mayor of Austin. "I do not have a drinking problem, just an anger problem," said the hippie Mayor (104)
USA Today Scary It's official: Banks now own more of America than we do (157)
CBS Chicago Dumbass If you're going to tamper with restaurant food to try to get it for free, don't leave your bag of worms behind (39)
IndyStar Strange C is for cookie, that's good enough for me. Now hand over the goddamned cookie and you won't get cut (42)
AFP Weird German monk confuses monasticism for onanism, caught with 230 porno films (71)
(Some Shopper) Photoshop Photoshop this shopper and her choices (55)
The Virginian Pilot Amusing If anyone has seen any suspicious Shriners on stolen go-carts, please give the Virginia Beach police department a call (30)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Most hittable governor in the country announces she got hit (256)
Breitbart.com Obvious The Pentagon has banned Google Earth teams from making detailed street-level video maps of US military bases (137)
Guardian.com Stupid Norway is requiring companies to make 40% of their employees women, must fire men if necessary (185)
CNN Scary The real reason Southwest Airlines' fares are so low: their maintenance department consists of four flight attendants, a seeing-eye dog, and a case of cocktail olives (127)
(Some Architect) Stupid San Francisco's new federal building built without air conditioning and has an elevator that stops only at every third floor (255)
BBC Strange Farmers cleared over road accident caused by their cow's "exceptional jumping ability." Prosecution evidence of moon jump training, dish and spoon liason not allowed by court (32)
Telegraph Dumbass Headline: Boarding school is bad. Article: filled with quotes from successful people who boarded, stats about higher test scores, and famous folk who went to boarding school (87)
USA Today Asinine California town declares itself a 'cuss-free' zone. If you don't like it, you can go fark yourself (264)
Komo Interesting Step 1: Drive to Seattle. Step 2: Get infected with malaria. Step 3: Profit (98)
Fox News Stupid Secret Service says Sikhs shan't shoulder shanks at summit with Pope. Sikh's say they shall shun summit (159)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fop feigning fainting (98)
(Some Partying TFette) Silly "There's unlimited juice? This party is gonna be off the hook" Seattle Fark Party REMINDER, Elysian Brewing Company, Sat. March 8th, 8pm. (DIT, LGT Bar's Website) (69)
ABC Action News Florida Grandma finds $5k at a flea market and proves that Floridians are idiots by giving it all back (100)
SuperDeluxe Followup Video proof the the puppy was alive (244)
(Some Guy) Cool Absolutely the most insane thing ever: Swimming on the very edge of Victoria Falls, a 100-meter drop. With pics and videos (141)
Breitbart.com Stupid As it does every year at this time, the media finds itself flabbergasted, shocked and awed to discover a brewery making a few batches of green beer (47)
ABC News Scary Hey buddy, can you spare a house? (148)
MSNBC Amusing Survey shows few men bothered if wife brings home more bacon. Especially if she immediately cooks the bacon. Mmmm, bacon (142)
The Consumerist Amusing No more Caturdays, no more lolcats, you can't haz cheeseburger. New service pushes lolcats off the internets (619)
(Some Guy) Asinine Man's explanation for putting his girlfriend's children in a clothes dryer. "That's what I wanted to show my kids, is that you don't have to have money to have a good time. All you have to have is an imagination." (79)
(Some Guy) Stupid Jenny McCarthy urges medical community to accept her autism cure. It's expected to go over as well as Carmen Electra's AIDS vaccine from 1998 (397)
Telegraph Scary That fly on the wall may be equipped with a camera (50)
Boston Globe Stupid Massachusetts wants to ban those homemade canvas signs welcoming home the troops from overpasses because they are dangerous, since they could fall on cars. He wants to hang heavy metal ones instead (104)
11 Alive Florida Caught doing 100mph in a 55 zone, teen sentenced by his mother to wear “I was stupid” sign (114)
(WOOD TV 8) Amusing Brian Fantana from the Channel 4 news team is OK. It's not a meth lab, he was just making a new batch of Sex Panther (75)
(Flint Journal) Dumbass Woman who embezzles from Athletic Boosters Club gets caught when she stops going to meetings. Apparently she didn't use the money for plastic surgery. (with pic nastiness) (39)
(Some Guy) Interesting The worst alcohol shots ever created (380)
Yahoo Obvious Another 21 dolphins react to the news that they are swimming off the Texas coast (82)
Rocky Mountain News Stupid Kissing on the playground? Law-fearing teachers are keeping cops busy by reporting every lip-lock they see at recess. Seems kids as young as age 5 are getting in on the act (327)
My San Antonio Dumbass Step One: Cut a hole in the box; Step Two: Put $150,000 of Iraqi reconstruction money in that box; Step Three: Have Customs seize that box when you ship it home (111)
(WOAI) Stupid Ways to avoid hearing "I'm bored" from kids over spring break; dog toys make list, duct tape doesn't (89)
Boston Globe Obvious In a move that surprises no one, former Halliburton subsidiary dodges $500 million in taxes (172)
(Independent.ie) Strange Today's "WTF?" moment brough to you by William Hill Bookmakers, Crufts and an unnamed superdog (66)
Boston Globe Sad It's no longer fun to stay at the \o/ |'o'| /o_ /o\ (99)
BBC Interesting The Vatican is putting priests who hear confession through a refresher course to tackle a recent crisis of confidence. Father Jack Hackett unavailable for comment (142)
USA Today Obvious New studies show that modern men are far more susceptible to nagging than their forebears (612)
BBC Amusing If you've stolen a 4ft by 2ft container filled with liquid nitrogen, police would like a word with you ... before Darwin does (85)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man manages to get himself barred from every pub in the entire country (65)
The Sun Unlikely Man who made a rude gesture at a policeman said he could not help it because he had just had a seizure (45)
MSNBC Sad When in Rome, do as the Romans do. Except for putting naked pictures of your ex-girlfriend on the internet. That's a jailing (98)
Yahoo Amusing London to start padding lampposts to prevent texting pedestrian mishaps. If only there was a way for people to watch where they're going (87)
News.com.au Stupid Ten reasons for astronauts to kill themselves in orbit, as selected by 14-year-old girl (159)
SacBee Dumbass If you're on parole and have a suspended driver's license, it isn't a good idea to dress up as a cop, cruise the streets, and pull people over in your siren-equipped green pickup truck with personalized plates (20)
Daily Mail Strange Yesterday's lack of Britney Spears trainwreck stories left some celebrity reporter with waaaay too much time on his hands. Behold: celebrity baldings (48)
Fox News News Explosion at recruiting station in Times Square, subway and traffic diverted (567)
(Some Nice Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this vain creature (51)
(Northern Territory News) Spiffy Thief who stole two crocodiles and a monkey foils plan to blow up gas station, presumably by getting the monkey to steal the lighter off the arsonist while the crocodiles had him cornered. Your croc wants steak (or that sweet looking monkey) (27)
MSNBC Amusing Douchebag parents sue douchebag school after douchebag administrators prevent douchebag student from being class secretary after douchebag student called them douchebags in her blog. Douchebag (107)
(Pendle Today) PSA Today's fire safety tip: do not attempt to light your boiler with a blow torch (27)
Pravda Spiffy Boriska, boy from Mars, still says that he remembers everything about Martian and Lemurian civilizations (111)
Wall Street Journal Amusing Use a certain swear word (or variations thereof) 73 times during a deposition? That’s $367 per F-bomb (or variations thereof) fine to the court (83)
Wired Amusing Girl scout cookie sales have moved to eBay. Buyer beware, cookies not made from real girl scouts (76)
SacBee Strange Today's 54 year old high school history teacher arrested for having four female students dress up in revealing "military garb" for a photo shoot brought to you by Sacramento, California (138)
C|Net Spiffy The coolest furniture made from cardboard you'll see all day (43)
(WSBTV.com) Scary Atlanta area restaurant scores a 13 (out of 100) on their health inspection. Turns out their version of turducken contains actual turds (120)
(NZ Herald) Weird Woman's funeral interrupted when crazy estranged daughter shows up with posse and proceeds to steal corpse from hearse (41)
Sky.com Obvious Cardigans make comeback as high-fashion item for men with both David Beckham and your dad proudly wearing them (75)
(Some Guy) Florida Knife-wielding 77-year-old man known as "Crazy Ray" wanders onto church school campus and tells everyone he's sending them to hell (w/ mean-ol-cuss mugshot) (76)
MSNBC Strange Utah Gov. Jon Huntsman ups the alcohol content in shots so 'Utah won't appear so strange to the rest of the world'. Meanwhile, wine coolers still banned in Utah grocery stores (103)
Local6 Florida Not news: woman washes 4-year-old girl. Fark: with a pressure washer at a car wash (120)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 148: “Pictures at an Exhibition" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (316)

Wed March 05, 2008
(Some Guy) Scary Las Vegas health clinic re-used syringes and vials for four years, putting over 40,000 patients at risk of hepititis-C and HIV. What happens in Vegas, stays in your blood (121)
Guardian.com Interesting Ninee prsnt v clvvers hab heern damaj afer wun ni ow. I said, "90% OF CLUBBERS HAVE HEARING DAMAGE AFTER ONE NIGHT OUT" (82)
(Graham Kerr) Photoshop Photoshop this food processor (56)
IndyStar PSA Cookies are not a valid form of currency, especially if you work in a government office collecting payments (56)
This Is Local London Weird School officials try to thwart internet perverts by covering up the faces of students on the school's website with smiley faces (107)
Reuters Interesting A Russian bomber aircraft approached a U.S. aircraft carrier off the Korean coast on Wednesday and was intercepted by American fighter jets -- the second such incident in less than a month. Is it getting cold in here? (262)
Daily Mail Interesting A herb known as bitter vetch which was used by medieval royalty to make their mistresses lose weight could be used in the modern day battle against obesity. Duke's girlfriends sucked (106)
CBS Chicago Silly New strategy in war on drugs: Ban sale of tiny plastic bags (215)
Yahoo Asinine Cemetery full. French mayor forbids citizens from dying. Dead people surrender (63)
News.com.au Amusing Singing Danny Boy banned on St Patrick's Day because it's depressing and was written by an Englishman (79)
CNN Cool :..:..:. .. .:.. .::: :..:..:. .. .:.. .::: (193)
(Citizen Sugar) Amusing Weather Channel founder wants to sue Al Gore. An inconvenient suit? (441)
Yahoo Dumbass Dear Abby: I make too much money. Should I ask my boss for a pay cut? (last letter on page) (149)
Yahoo Obvious Alabama becomes the butt of yet another joke as Birmingham officials consider purchasing laptops designed for third-world countries (164)
CBS Sacramento Interesting Wolverine spotted in Northern California Sierra Mountains, rest of X-Men pissed he blew their cover (58)
(WMTW.com) PSA Quaker Oats is recalling Aunt Jemima Pancake and Waffle Mix products because of potential salmonella. NOBODY PANCAKE (64)
(Springfield News-Leader) Stupid Easily confused woman gets newspaper to give her column where she's paid for half-lucid rants against the post office. And then it gets weird (98)
(Some Guy) Followup Rep confirms Patrick Swayze has terminal cancer. "Roadhouse" death trifecta now in play? (341)
Globe and Mail Interesting There's a reason your cab driver seems to know so much about geopolitics (71)
(Natural 20) Followup 25 gaming euphemisms for the death of Dungeons & Dragons creator Gary Gygax (273)
AP Dumbass If you're going to file a false insurance claim, don't let yourself be photographed for the local paper while shoveling snow off the roof of a school (57)
Minneapolis Star Tribune Amusing Bars try to get around no smoking law by staging Theater Night, where patrons are actors and cigarettes are props. State Health Officals disagree (312)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Interesting If you recently were generous enough to make a donation of a box of grenades to Goodwill, the police think you're the bomb (75)
Telegraph Photoshop Help design an alternative EU coin (54)
News 10 ABC Sacramento Strange If you lost your 150 pound tortise, the Tracy animal shelter would like to speak to you (73)
(Some Guy) Amusing Best (and longest) newspaper correction in human history. This one has everything (137)
CBS Baltimore Interesting Not really news: Horse lovers march to Congress asking for a ban on horse slaughter. Fark: complete with poll asking if you want to eat horse meat (228)
(The Spoof) Followup Puppy executed by U.S. Marines was actually an Al Qaeda terrorist responsible for several attacks on coalition forces (270)
BBC Followup The UN decides it isn't worth the effort to send a strongly worded letter to Iran after all (74)
(Lost Vegas Now) Followup Feds hope flushing three times will clean up grand canyon. Darned low-flow toilets (101)
Miami Herald Amusing Dept of Homeland Security issues an alert... about itself. If they keep this up they'll go blind. Seriously (91)
(Jawa Report) Unlikely Wow, an undamaged Koran found in rubble created by Israeli missile, and it's totally not a staged photo op. Maybe Palestinians need to build their houses out of the Koran (631)
(Some Stir-Stick) Dumbass If you're going to expose yourself to the coffee girl, you might not want to pay with a credit card (with "Was that wrong?" mugshot) (148)
My Fox Kansas City Amusing Male news anchor tries pole dancing (with video) (96)
BBC Obvious In a shocking surprise move, OPEC members decide they have absolutely nothing against $100/barrel oil (345)
(journal-news.net) Spiffy Presidential perfume inspired by presidential front runners. Smell of defeat, shame, and triumph replaced with citrus, lavender, and a delicate floral blend of jasmine (56)
BBC Followup Search for bodies at abuse orphanage hampered by film crew building fake graveyard there in the 80s (80)
(Some Guy) PSA Patrick Swayze has pancreatic cancer, five weeks left to spend outside of Whoopi Goldberg's body (759)
Lancashire Evening Post Unlikely Hospital patient goes on a shopping trip - with all her drip apparatus in tow (with pic) (41)
Metro Dumbass Policeman fails to check Snopes, sends out dire warning to pupils and parents at 80 schools to warn them of the dangers of a drug which doesn't exist. Oops (240)
MSNBC Followup Venezuela moves their tank to the Columbian border (363)
The Register Dumbass Poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke poke harassment charges (211)
Google Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Meatballs (79)
Telegram Strange And when you're done with the dog, just mail it back in the envelope we provide (88)
Pravda Amusing Sexologist at a Russian hospital explains how astronauts will concieve a baby in the International Space Station. "Some fastening device on a wall is most likely to be used" (405)
Daily Mail Sappy Couple spends loads of money to have their one-legged chicken treated for cancer (79)
Stuff Dumbass Three teenagers steal more than $22,000 from cinema, which translates into two candy bars, large popcorn and a medium drink (61)
Reuters Scary German military report reveals excess of porcine privates, lardass lieutenants, and corpulent corporals (82)
The Sun Dumbass Fisherman shocked that teasing a crocodile annoyed it. "I was shocked, the animal clearly wanted to kill me. One minute I was leaning over the boat teasing it for a picture..." The Sun is there with the photo (92)
(Sunderland Echo) Scary The show must be too hot for TV if it causes the television to explode in flames (29)
The Sun Hero Definition of tough: British army captain has his leg torn off in a toboggan accident, has it reattached. When told it could take two years before he can go back to active duty, he has it cut off again and gets fitted with a false one (154)
Daily Mail Amusing Having solved all the world's problems, the United Nations sends a strongly-worded memo to drug-taking celebrities (59)
Telegraph Asinine Short and stout Malaysian woman jailed for worshipping giant two-story-high sacred teapot. Then it gets weird (86)
News.com.au Amusing At what point does it cease being a "test drive" and become "auto theft"? 6200km? This guy needs to know (56)
Kansas City Interesting Two heels steal a Meals on Wheels with some older-style zeal. What an ordeal. Try the veal (37)
(KPTV-12) Strange If you've been placing red balloons & Nazi flags around Tigard, Oregon, the police would like to talk to you... or Nena (94)
CNN News Hillary messes with Texas, wins 3 out of 4 primaries (1158)
(WKYT) Dumbass Nothing says "I've got my act together" quite like getting arrested on your way to a court appearance, drunk... and dressed like Elvis (34)
(NWA Morning News) Dumbass Cop suspended 10 days over taser incident. Fark: involved attempted tasering of cow. Bonus: cow unharmed, cop ended up tasing himself (71)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this odd man out (79)
MSNBC Interesting New archives reveal Abe Lincoln considered "gradual emancipation", to buy slaves for $400 apiece (113)
My San Antonio Asinine 1 aerosol can + 1 garbage burning pit = 170 acres of fail (34)

Tue March 04, 2008
CBS News Interesting Super Tuesday II discussion thread, part IV (721)
(Some Guy) Florida Guy tells police he didn't spit on his girlfriend, he "gleeked" (104)
CNN News Hillary wins Ohio (766)
The Morning Call Sappy City council hopes to get $2mil for selling their baseball stadium. Fark: kindergardener's hand-scrawled note offering $5.00 only bid. Awesome: He just might wind up with it, after all (56)
Yahoo Interesting Super Tuesday II discussion thread: Take Three (Closed. See new thread) (1303)
Canada.com Obvious McCain clinches GOP nomination (116)
(Some Guy) Obvious Huckabye (114)
(Poughkeepsie Journal) Interesting Introducing the yoga clown: for when you want the kids at your child's birthday party to be terrified, but in a mellow way (79)
Kansas City Amusing Midwest Airlines Genuine Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough will be coming soon to a grocery store near you. It will most likely get lost enroute, show up late, lose the directions for baking and not give a damn (80)
Newsday Silly Huntington, New York fires the latest salvo in the War on Silly String (41)
(FMQB) Interesting This week, after more than 30 years, the Supreme Court may reopen the debate over what constitutes an "indecent" broadcast. "According To Jim" fans should be very worried (99)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these towels (75)
Fox News Interesting Super Tuesday II discussion thread (CLOSED) (1116)
CBS News Ironic Minority of health experts say it's okay to be fat. One expert said: I'M RICH AND I'M DEAD SEXY (139)
Gizmodo Ironic Anti-shark device eaten by shark during testing. No word if Sharper Image will be doing their marketing (119)
Boston Globe Cool First wolf found in Massachusetts in 160 years. Don't worry though, a farmer killed it (274)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Actual headline: Giant bunny draws attention of police as well as drivers on I-95 (133)
AP Stupid Airline delays worsened in January after an abysmal 2007. If you're flying today, you're probably reading this while waiting for your flight to finally board two hours late (154)
AP Interesting Oregon conducts lottery where prize is health insurance. If it works out, will be expanded to game show will pit poor contestants against one another to compete for other necessities (495)
Breitbart.com Followup Seeking to deescalate the border crisis, Colombia is asks the ICC to indict Prezident Chavez for genocide (170)
(RADAR) Dumbass Rush Limbaugh did not mean to compare Barack Obama to the monkey Curious George live on the radio. Claims to know many other Georges who are curious and not monkeys (997)
(Some Latent Guy) Stupid An increasing number of criminals are cutting off their fingertips to obscure their fingerprints. If only there were something they could use to temporarily obscure their prints during the commission of a crime (89)
Valleywag Followup Five YouTube videos show American soldiers at their worst (775)
ABC 2 Amusing Red Sox scout arrested for masturbating in public, oh the shame he's now a Yankee for life (130)
(News Groper) Amusing Hugo Chavez accidentally funds social news aggregator FARK (69)
Chicago Tribune Dumbass Plane makes emergency landing on golf course. The emergency? Pilot's son is late for tennis practice (143)
(Some Stumptowner) Cool Portland Farkers: Let's show those Seattle Farkers what for -- make sure you come to the Portland Fark Party this Saturday, March 8. LGT the venue (118)
The Daily Press Obvious "One of the very useful things that the war on drugs provides is a dragon for politicians to slay. But they never slay it. " (120)
(Some Guy) PSA Gary Gygax, creator of Dungeons & Dragons, has failed his saving throw vs. death (1092)
First Coast News Florida 30 days. 30 robberies. Like Jenny Craig, but without the weight loss and with guns (32)
LA Times Followup Hamas declares victory. Israel congratulates them, wishes them many more such victories (545)
London Times Dumbass Porn laws in Fifties Britain banned any movement; the naked girls on stage had to stand completely still (83)
Chicago Sun-Times Dumbass Chicago cop continues to uphold the department's outstanding tradition of off-duty behavior by breaking tables in a bar, spitting on a paramedic, getting tasered, having 3 times the legal limit of alcohol in his system (113)
Chicago Sun-Times Dumbass Knowing that the police don't often devote a lot of resources into finding stolen cars, one man comes up with a unique solution. Jailarity ensues (55)
USA Today Stupid The latest bit of idiot psychobabble that will be making the rounds on morning talk shows and giving vapid suburban housewives new issues to whine about: momnesia (244)
SuperDeluxe Interesting Robhgien ruoy oottat ouy ekam yam s’remiehzlA (149)
Guardian.com Obvious Democracy means you can vote for anyone. War means you voted for the wrong people (327)
(Ha'aretz) Obvious The truth comes out: Moses was tripping balls on Mt. Sinai (530)
(CERN) Photoshop Photoshop this super-collider (53)
Daily Mail Dumbass Controversial new YouTube video shows American airmen having good old-fashioned fun in their barracks - drinking some beers, doing the robot, snorting coke… wait, what? (132)
(Some Guy) Stupid Another heart-rending, gritty memoir of a woman's life struggles is exposed as complete, utter bullshiat (94)
Telegraph PSA Prince Harry "expendable," claims US news host (82)
Metro Spiffy Man who pulled a drowning boy from a pond discovered he was the son of a man he had rescued from the same water 20 years ago (73)
AFP Amusing Japanese actress gets trespassing conviction overturned after she proved her breasts were too big to have fit through the window she is alleged to have crawled through. Insert your own "hard look at the evidence" joke here (121)
Fox News NewsFlash Brett Favre finally puts a fork in his ass (512)
The Register Dumbass Dumb: US military sent classified emails detailing -- among other things -- Air Force One's flight plans to a civilian. Fark: Even after being told, they kept doing it (95)
(BulldogRadio.com) PSA The Rude Awakening Show stages a Drew Curtis intervention this morning at 9:40am eastern. Call in and add your voice at 877-723-9626. Listen live via the link (34)
(Sunderland Echo) Amusing Spurned lover in the dog house. Literally (25)
Reuters Amusing Buddhist monks told to stop using social networking Web sites to woo women. What is the sound of one hand fapping? (64)
(The Age) Amusing It's only March, but here's the international Sports Photo of the Year (117)
Telegraph Unlikely Actor who appears naked on a poster for the Royal Opera House is considering legal action because he claims the image has been distorted to shrink a certain part of his anatomy (83)
BBC Cool Beer drinking, 101-year-old plumber with 17 children to run the London Marathon. What are you slackers doing this weekend? (86)
Guardian.com Cool Meet the only 24-hour pub in all of Britain. Submitter will drink to them (26)
Local6 Florida "Hi, I'm your neighbor. Could I borrow a cup of sugar, two eggs, and a gun to kill my husband?" (31)
(WHKY.com) Stupid I'll see your "political argument gets all stabby" article and raise you a "political argument gets all baseball batty" article, plus mugshot goodness (32)
Free Press Stupid Man gives his landlord a hand during eviction process (24)
Guardian.com Interesting How Britain tried to exploit the Führer's supposed superstitions by hiring an astrologer as a secret weapon (42)
BBC Interesting Not news: Australia declares war on flying foxes. Fark: with garbage cans (29)
(Some Guy) Scary Woman busted for not wearing pants and flashing her breasts at a group of guys in a public park, which sounds pretty hot until you realize she's fifty and a crack addict (34)
CBS Sacramento Dumbass If you fail to carjack someone, it might be best to avoid sitting on a public bus with a shotgun in your lap(w/pic) (51)
Reuters Obvious Getting knocked out can cause brain tissue loss. Also, getting knocked out can cause brain tissue loss (61)
BBC Cool Interactive timeline of British history, from the introduction of farming techniques to same-sex civil partnerships (30)
CSMonitor Sappy Vanishing species, vacuum repair guy, neighborhood fixture closes door after 50 years. That sucks (47)
Google Photoshop Photoshop theme: Lesser-known award statues (59)
(The Indy Channel) Dumbass 25-year old mother of the year candidate watches "American Idol" while her unattended 3-year old nearly drowns in the bathtub. She could have at least been watching "Lost" instead (70)
The Scotsman Scary Hidden punishment chambers, human remains found in former children's home, with haunting message written on wall: "I've been bad for years and years." (157)
Newsweek Sad Wales is suffering from a teenage suicide epidemic, most likely because they're forced to pronounce a language that sounds like tortured camels (70)
(Honolulu Advertiser) Followup Puppy-throwing Marine believed to be Hawaii based. Yeah, the Marine Corps is pissed and starting a full investigation (546)

Mon March 03, 2008
(Norwich Bulletin) Scary News: Students pack knives to school, get charged with conspiracy to commit first-degree assault. Fark: Students are 7 and 8 years old (43)
Reuters Cool Fur is making a comeback. Suck it, PETA (150)
Reuters Obvious Eat a whale, save the planet (123)
Newsday Interesting If you got a Sharper Image gift card for Christmas it's now worthless (143)
NBC San Diego Scary Five-hour gun battle near the U.S. border that left a police officer and one of the suspected criminals dead brought to you by Tijuana, Mexico..or as we locals call it Southern San Diego (149)
ABC News Interesting Busy Britons stopping for groceries can now add doctor's appointment to their shopping list (20)
Mercury News PSA If you live in San Jose, CA and lost a 5-lb bag of weed, contact the "Green Team" recyclers. Claimants must describe the item and bring rolling papers, a lighter and "Dark Side Of the Moon" or "Led Zeppelin IV" (108)
MSNBC Scary 67,000 child catapults recalled (79)
(In Georgia No Less) Spiffy Judge orders woman to repay man $14K in child support after DNA proves child isn't his (346)
TampaBays10.com Florida Florida, for one, welcomes their new termite overlords (30)
London Times Interesting Fresh from Afghanistan, Prince Harry suggests that Jamie Oliver may be able to improve the British Army's cuisine. Today's Iron Chef ingredients: Goat and rooster (49)
WFTV Florida Sign reading "I'm going to blow up this bus" not the best thing to display in school bus. Fashioning your T-shirt as a turban also not particularly smart (36)
(My Fox Memphis) News Six bodies, 3 injured children found in Memphis neighborhood shooting (219)
The Consumerist Interesting Those pricey Monster Cables you bought don't sound any better than the free-range coat-hangers you have breeding in your closet (333)
Yahoo Stupid Your tax dollars hard at work: FDA warns people not to swallow inhalers (50)
(Some Oinker) Interesting Bacon-flavored vodak, the drink of the gods (142)
(Do I smell popcorn?) Amusing Best ad for a computer monitor you'll see all day (ad was pulled, LGT screencap) (107)
(NewsChannel 9) Stupid Whiffle ball is apparently serious busines at McCallie. That's where a whiffle ball game led to a serious assault at the same fancy private school Ted Turner attended (49)
FARK News Gunman reported at Appalacian State University. Submitter's brother just called from his locked-down dorm, then phone died. Anyone at ASU, what the hell is happening? (337)
(Some Guy) Obvious "What plagues the news industry is the failure of the business model and the inability to adapt it to something current to this century" (80)
Daily Mail Sad Family dinners "a thing of the past" as only one in five families eats meals together (181)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this boardroom table (47)
(That's MS Engineer to you) Scary Because Title IX controls have done so well with sports, Congress looks into applying them to science and engineering majors (503)
(Some Wino) Spiffy New Zealand wineries building private air force to help protect your inalienable right to a cheap Shiraz (37)
CNN Florida Man in suit kills one, shoots four others at a West Palm Beach Wendy's, does not get fries with that (288)
CNN Obvious Hillary Clinton tries to look more human by having a beer in front of the media. Later seen belching fire, bending girders (331)
(Bloomberg) Followup Regime change clock is ticking: Seized laptop files show Chavez funded FARC, rebels sought uranium (260)
Fox News Misc Masked men rob steal $30,000 from topless bar in Mt. Vernon. Police ask citizens to be on the lookout for people paying for everything in singles (95)
Homestar Runner Amusing Yah guys, maybe find some coin (98)
Fox News Asinine Army colonels switch identities to fake results of paternity test, may have seen one too many episodes of M*A*S*H (100)
Valleywag Amusing Wikipedia founder Jimbo Wales dumps his stalker Fox News girlfriend stalker Rachel Marsden on Wikipedia, but only after forcing changes to her stalker bio removing the whole stalker thing. (POV) (cite) (131)
Google Cool Chicago Fark Party Reminder: Saturday, March 29th. Bottle Bar. Make your plans to be here for the next great Chicago Fark Party LGN DIT (134)
Kotaku Silly Finnish company is attempting to copyright "pwnage." That's almost as ridiculous as trying to copyright "Not safe for work" (139)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption what Mick Jagger is yelling (255)
(Some Sau) Cool Durham, NC Fark Party Ides of March. "Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your beers." Oh yeah, that's St. Patty's day, too. DIT, Duke sucks, etc. (100)
(Metrowest Daily News) Weird Two moms get into fistfight at their kids birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese. It's all about making memories (320)
The Morning Call Amusing The family that pursues vigilante justice over vandalized mailboxes together, stays together (171)
Telegraph Unlikely Man denies having sex with a vacuum cleaner, says he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland" (181)
(Some Guy) NewsFlash Four Street of Dreams homes burning north of Seattle. ELF sign found at scene (1191)
Wired Interesting A rare look inside the exclusive Los Angeles club where the Internet service providers hook up with each other and their tubes get laid (51)
TBO Florida A town full of carnies is slowly dying off, along with the language Czarnie. "The next thing to go will be fire-eaters. Too many kids do that now" (84)
Guardian.com Interesting Delay-weary airport passengers turning to ferries faster than college freshmen at their first Young Republicans meeting (125)
(Some Tfette) Photoshop Photoshop this sticky head (50)
News.com.au Dumbass Drunk man takes stolen cab for a spin through a crowded mall. Heard to comment, "This place has got everything" (110)
(wzzm13.com) Asinine Loss of thousands of students will save MI almost $200 million, none of which will go to the school districts. It doesn't count as leaving a child behind if you never pick them up in the first place (71)
(Some Guy) Stupid Refuse to sell your property to the guy who happens to be the local tax assessor? That's a 1,531% tax hike (second story down) (105)
The Sun Amusing Man has set up a 30-foot catapult filled with chicken droppings to deter intruders (31)
The Sun Asinine British man steals two parking cones as a joke, only to find out the hard way that police in Nanny State are required to spend as much time on petty thefts as murders to meet their quotas (53)
CBS New York Asinine NYC teens bracing for new law that would require them to wear Invisible Fence collars (142)
This Is Local London Obvious People spend more time researching buying a toaster than they do a house (67)
Abc.net.au Ironic Dirty hippies try to stink up whaling ship with butyric acid to deter fishermen, succeed in masking dirty hippy smell (116)
NJ.com Dumbass New Jersey teenager tosses spray paint can into campfire "to see what it would do." It would explode, giving you second-degree burns and a chance to ride on a helicopter (89)
BBC Cool Scotland's 133-year-old Glenglassaugh distillery, closed for 22 years, to reopen. "Glenglassaugh has the capacity to make one million litres of whisky a year and has high-growth potential" (38)
Daily Mail Spiffy Member of British Parliament gives new meaning to the term "backbencher" (30)
(Some Punter) Hero Hope is not lost. Scarlett Johannson decides to moonlight as a high-class escort (248)
Daily Mail Asinine British tax system encourages couple to split up rather than remain married as they'd earn more money divorced (67)
CBS Baltimore Amusing Actual headline: "Man drove car after being fatally shot" (61)
Daily Mail Silly Just like a big, bad homemade perm, the 1980s revival is taking hold in the UK (93)
(Bakersfield Californian) Obvious California police find new trend of kids partying in abandoned foreclosed homes -- 54 percent APR = 80-proof XXX (66)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this guy and his longboard (58)
My Fox Colorado Amusing Go inside Casa Bonita, the only restaurant with monkey chases (and the star of a "South Park" episode) (145)
Daily Mail Sad Ugly-ass polar bear cub Knut is all grown up into a scary-ass, godless killing machine (with scary-ass pic) (143)