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Sun May 18, 2008
(The Atlantic) Interesting Lawyers planning class action lawsuit against Big Oil for deceiving the public about the harm caused by global warming. Sound familiar? The same guys were involved in Big Tobacco's class action suit - the largest civil settlement in history (15)
(CSMonitor) Interesting The Christian Science Monitor investigates the best way to sample surf if you've never done it before: skimboarding, bodyboarding, or surfing (57)
(CNN) Stupid CNN shares the top fuel saving tips that don't work (185)
(Sun Sentinel) Sappy First "internet couple" celebrate 25th anniversary. And so it began (169)
(Some Guy) Florida Orangutan escapes from Busch Gardens Tampa, Orangutan escape trifecta now in play (50)
(Cracked) Amusing The nine most obnoxious web memes (275)
(Some Guy) Amusing Caturday extra: San Francisco home to the world's largest lolcat mural (105)
(Steve's Digicams) Photoshop Photoshop this model railroad scene (44)
(AP) Florida I would like an order of Pop My Cherry Cheesecake and my hubby will have the Pump-in Pie (84)
(Some Guy) Misc Scariest pictures of baby crocodiles hatching from eggs you're likely to see today. Not-so-cute ass pics (79)
(Telegraph) Amusing Scottish men whip out the blue paint, pull off their skirts and shout 'FREEDOM' on news that kilts were invented by an Englishman (88)
(ABC News) Sappy A collection of awwwww-inducing animal "odd couple" pictures (103)
(Telegraph) Amusing Insults, prima donnas and vicious rivalry at Chelsea. Not a soccer thread, but the annual Flower Show (25)
(Live Fish From Indiana) Amusing It's a used car ad from Auto Trader. Laugh at the rednecks. Laugh, laugh (169)
(CNN) Scary USDA recalls beef products in 11 states, including such choice cuts as "Boneless Chucks," "Flat Rounds," "Gooseneck Rounds," "Knuckle," and "Boneless Clods." Mmmm coli-contaminated clods (52)
(BBC) Amusing Orangutan escapes from LA Zoo. Clint Eastwood wanted for questioning (37)
(ABC News) Amusing An alien walks into a bar: what do you say? It's not news, it's ABC. VE (93)
(The Morning Call) Asinine Protected zealously from the Real World by mommy, a girl with "School Phobia" may be THE MOST PRECIOUS of all little snowflakes. Worse: Her local school district gave her $45K to stay out of school (339)
(MSNBC) Cool NYC subway cars sunk off Maryland coast to provide fish with artificial reefs, graffiti art (42)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Amusing Photographer injured at high school sports tournament after inadvertently participating in the javelin catch event (56)
(The Local (Sweden)) Interesting Wi nøt trei a høliday in Sweden this yër? See the løveli lakes, the wøndërful telephøne system, and mäni interesting furry animals. Including the hørni MILF (117)
(The Morning Call) Obvious Thanks to Pennsylvania's Gaming Control Board, Pa's slot machines pay out $1500 for every $3,750,000 you spend on them (78)
(Everett Herald) Obvious Ugly unshaven womyn barristas hatin' on "sexpresso stands"; "If you like nipples and third-degree burns, go for it" Oh, snap (117)
(Some Carnivore) Obvious "If you want to be a vegetarian, fine, but I don't care for proselytizing or people telling me that my decisions about my diet are ethically inferior. I'll go to the mat on that one." (367)
(Inside Bay Area) Interesting You'd think an article about the guy who figured out how to coat school milk cartons & make stronger beer cartons would be dull (32)
(St. Petersburg Times) Followup Substitute teacher fired for wizardry is horrified by huge internet support. "Is there so little going on in these peoples' lives? I don't know what these people are thinking" (80)
(Daily Mail) Asinine "Sorry, we don't have the funds to investigate the crimes committed against you. Please press 1 then # to donate to our general fund. Have a nice day" (51)
(AFP) Weird Japan appoints new goodwill tourism ambassador to China and Hong Kong... Hello Kitty. No, really, Ambassador Hello Kitty (47)
(Some Guy) Stupid Driver gets into auto accident, calmly exchanges insurance information with the other driver, then backs into a building, puts the car into drive, and plows into another building. Now THAT's bringing your A-game (26)
(Gawker) Cool Best food sculptures you'll see today. Sadly, mashed potato sculpture of Devil's Tower did not make the cut (20)
(CNN) Obvious Gas hits record high for 10th day straight because... *SHAKE SHAKE SHAKE* ...there ain't a damn thing you can do about it (304)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fake doctor (69)
(Gazette) Obvious If your Social Security number is 457-55-5462, your identity has been stolen. Someone call LifeLock. Wait, isn't that the SSN of LifeLock's CEO? (156)
(News.com.au) Amusing "A petite teenager who tackled five police officers, wrecked a police station floor and flooded a jail cell says she's not such a bad girl". Actual headline or subby's dream girl, you decide (92)
(Some Guy) Amusing Couple want to get married at a QuickTrip because "they have pretty landscaping". QuickTrip supports their plans, but asks that guests carpool because they still need the space for their paying customers (90)
(BBC) Hero Former soldier leaves internet cafe, saves cop from rioting mob, rescues man from canal, carries another guy to an ambulance, chases off two guys looting a police van, polishes giant brass balls (145)
(AZCentral) Strange Don't stick a pin in that bubble just yet -- more than 50 people are currently camping out in North Mesa for the opportunity to buy a home (63)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this towering Obama (72)
(The Morning Call) Amusing Calvin and Hobbes was cleverly used to spread the loving values of Christianity and The Cat In The Hat is a metaphor for Christ and the goldfish are symbols of a strict orthodox church (256)

Sat May 17, 2008
(MSNBC) Obvious Pirates off the coast of Somalia have stuck again and attacks are becoming more frequent, in related news the average US temperature for April was coolest in 11 years (134)
(Statesman) Sappy Slideshow of the following ugly-ass animals born: Colobus monkey, Jaguar, Camel, Polar Bear, Tiger, Lion, Lemur, Elephant, Indian Rhinoceros, Zebra, Giraffe, Panda, Sugar Glider, Flamingo, Wattled Crane, Chimpanzee, Leopard, Koala, (22)
(Newsweek) Cool Eight forbidden delicacies. Forbidden donut absent from list (256)
(MSNBC) Followup Texas sinkhole becomes home to alligator, locals solve the problem in a very Texas way: plan to add more gators, build a monster truck track around it, and turn it into tourist attraction (87)
(Some Guy) Spiffy This lovely young lass feels just great / To compete with the girls of her state / While most Farkers agree / She is sharp in the knee / Here's Miss Limerick for 2008 (110)
(UPI) Spiffy Piratas informáticos españoles arrestados (55)
(AP) Strange McCain to win in November, according to congregation of psychics, mediums, and fortune-tellers who can't even predict winning lottery numbers (168)
(Some Criminal) Amusing I'll see your gold paint huffing guy and raise you the other twenty best mugshots evar (152)
(CNN) Sad Man opens fire outside a California church. Pew, pew pew (156)
(CBS News) Scary 3,000 people evacuated after train car leaks hydrochloric acid. Molarity ensues (98)
(Komo) Scary Rivets pop off during flight to Hawaii, cause vibrations. Wwwe're aaall cccounting ooon yyyou (64)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this mammal (61)
(Statesman) Dumbass DHL learns that the difference between 23 degrees Celcius and 23 degrees Fahrenheit is exactly $883,000 (249)
(Reuters) Sad The tiny tasty truffle is in a trifle bit of trouble (69)
(BBC) Strange Thieves steal £30,000 of handbags before escaping on mopeds, in what police believe to be an attempt to break the record for World's Least Masculine Crime (53)
(Some Guy) Interesting Ten books that screwed up the world. Amazon is your friend (507)
(London Times) Asinine British guy who killed a doctor with a hammer may be released from prison, due to Rose and Valerie, screaming from the gallery (68)
(WMTW.com) Amusing Drag queen robs Burger King. "Most of the time when somebody puts on a wig they're just trying to hide their identity by putting on something like a Halloween mask, but he's pretty" (33)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this classic painting (68)
(Some Blue Light) Cool If you're kid of the 60s and 70s, this should bring back some memories: Vintage K-Mart photos (190)
(Some Guy) Weird Not news: Woman asks for divorce from husband. News: Because her husband lifted her veil while she slept. Fark: Because he'd never seen it after 30 years of marriage (135)
(AP) NewsFlash Ted Kennedy swam to safety once in his life, but his current stroke isn't looking so good (659)
(Telegraph) Amusing Note to councils: When erecting speed limit signs, try not to fail like this. w/pic (78)
(WorldNetDaily) Amusing Sixth grade teacher decides to poll the class about which of their classmates would end up pregnant. Man whose daughter was picked as Most Likely To Conceive not amused (96)
(ABC News) Stupid Nabisco introduces Oreo cookies to the United Kingdom, and the British are baffled as to how to eat them (410)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Sixty-eight per cent of Italians want gypsies expelled. You know who else hated gypsies? (339)
(National Post) Sick New York bistro's super-expensive new gourmet burger blends grass-fed cow's heart, liver, bone marrow, tongue, flatiron, brisket, shank and clod. Mmmm, clod (131)
(International Herald Tribune) Ironic Head of cadaver program removed for arms trafficking (37)
(CBC) Scary Man survives bear attack, wins award for best tragedy quote evar... "They started using the peroxide and, 'Ooh,' I said, 'that hurt more than the bear' " (55)
(Des Moines Register) Followup Man pleads guilty to choosing the most foolish joyride vehicle ever (24)
(JSOnline) Sappy Man offered new chance at a life of happiness and joy, decides to make his marriage official instead (37)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Don't steal a canoe if you don't know how to use it. Especially if you're drunk and don't know how to swim (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the man with a fist full of wire (45)
(San Luis Obispo) Dumbass Tired of the faltering housing market, real estate agent forced to find new way to rip off customers (14)
(Burlington Free Press) Cool Butterscotch the cat rules the Hawthorn Suites hotel, minding the counter and greeting guests. Happy Caturday :) (407)
(News.com.au) Weird Woman reported missing 42 years ago found dead, in front of her TV, in her apartment (127)
(Telegraph) Strange Scientist doesn't know how a gecko found its way into an unhatched chicken egg, but he does know he suddenly wants to buy car insurance (90)
(McTography) Photoshop Photoshop these fallen arches (36)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Free Quran for every home (315)
(Toronto Star) Amusing Get caught speeding and get a stern talking to by Catholic schoolgirls. Someone didn't think this one through (89)
(Reuters) Interesting California Activists plan constitutional amendment to define marriage in the traditional way. No word on how many cows will be legally required per wife bought (349)
(Boston Channel) Asinine Seven-year-old Little Leaguer benched two games because his mom failed to show up for concession stand duty (134)
(UPI) Obvious Kids want teacher back even after posing nude: Obvious tag assplodes (56)
(Bazooka Joe) Strange What can you say to a guy who creates art with used bubblegum? Well, besides "you blew it"? (23)
(AP) Interesting Barely making ends meet? Talk to Alabama sheriffs, who feed prisoners on a $1.75 per day stipend, and still manage to keep a little bit for themselves (69)
(Seacoastonline.com) Amusing Man gets police escort from public library for making too much noise - snoring on toilet (29)

Fri May 16, 2008
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing TSG's Friday mugshot roundup: The return of a hottie and bad hair days a plenty (164)
(ABC News) Obvious It's good thing average citizen Cindy McCain has decided her finances are none of our business-otherwise we might have to ask her awkward questions about things like her $2 million investment in Sudanese government connected companies (169)
(11 Alive) Spiffy Woman spends $10 a week on groceries for family of four using coupons instead of Soylent Green (199)
(Some TFette) Spiffy Bald Eagle with half a beak to receive a prosthetic replacement. Beauty is in the eye of the beakholder (19)
(Dallas News) Strange Hey I got my yearbook! Wait a minute .. why aren't I wearing clothes? I don't remember that (82)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Asian chicks wearing lettuce, California chicks in vinyl, and pasty Brits in nothing but fake fur hats. Man, those PETA parties look like FUN (127)
(Reuters) Amusing It's not their economy to blame for Albania's 3rd-world status. It's a cat (40)
(tastybooze) Amusing In case you were wondering, yes there are rules to fist bumping (79)
(Wordpress) Misc Another math problem - enjoy (144)
(AP) Amusing John McCain - "OK, I'm going after Obama's youth voters by going on 'SNL' this week, what do I have to do?" Lorne Michaels - "Put on this dress." John McCain - "Oh fark no. PANCAKES" (153)
(Mental Floss) Interesting The 10 longest novels ever published. Surprisingly, Gone With The Wind, Les Miserables, and War And Peace didn't make the list because they're too short (156)
(Legs) Interesting If a woman shaves her legs before a date, is she expecting something? Isn't that awfully presumptious? (242)
(CBS Chicago) Amusing Man Steals 100 Burritos. Police on the lookout for a 5'9" man who has recently gained 40 pounds (57)
(Reuters) Followup The Pope would like to remind Catholics that, despite what California is doing, gay marriage is a no-no. Also that Jesus said it's ok to believe in space aliens (142)
(WineSpectator) Sad Robert Mondavi pops the cork (65)
(Some Guy) Asinine Oh, the irony: False rape accuser in Duke LAX case gets her degree in, wait for it... Police Psychology (196)
(Some Guy) Obvious If you get all huffy over a cross on private land because you think people will believe its on public land you're probably an atheist (202)
(NASA) Photoshop Photoshop this Transonic (47)
(Fox News) Interesting An insightful and polite article discussing the relationship between science and God. Bonus: "Scientists hate God" is the first sentence (509)
(Promo Magazine) Stupid WNBA continues its quest for legitimacy with a great corporate tie in...the McDonalds Southern Chicken Biscuit (64)
(AP) Spiffy Carly Fiorina, ex-CEO of HP, may be in the running to be McCain's running mate. Among her proposals: a costly, inadvisable merger with Canada that backfires and leaves both countries in worse shape (177)
(Dallas News) Dumbass BaptiDome Minister has never heard of Chris Hansen or Dateline NBC (184)
(Seacoastonline.com) Silly "Don't Tase me, bro, it's my bachelor party" In Maine, that's followed by a good tar-and-featherin' (28)
(Google) Cool Harrison Ford elected to the board of the Archaeological Institute of America on the basis of his "no snakes or Nazis" platform (97)
(AP) Followup US to stop sending oil into strategic reserves. In related news, has anyone seen a horse? He may have left the barn some time ago (168)
(The Star) Weird Finally, an opera with a little something for everyone: Hitler, Uncle Sam, Marilyn Monroe, 35 extras between the ages of 50 and 69 wearing nothing but Mickey Mouse masks. As a bonus, it's set in the smoking ruins of the World Trade Center (73)
(Now Magazine) Silly Angelina Jolie's daughter Zahara thinks she's pregnant with a pig. Actress admits her kids are a little confused (85)
(CNN) Stupid CNN reports on why $120/barrel oil is good. Part of their ongoing series "Hey, It May Be Rape, But At Least You're Getting Laid" (180)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Ozzie Guillen brushes off e-mails from racist White Sox fans by claiming it's his age that makes him crazy, not his heritage (81)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Show me the pothead who's walking around with five or six dime bags, planning on telling the arresting officer they are just for personal use, and I'll show you a future punchline on Fark.com." (175)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Florida New Florida teen beating video reveals that those girls were fighting over who was the skankiest (includes vid and pics) (190)
(CNN) Stupid Mainstream media faux outrage powers ACTIVATE: Shape of... Mike Huckabee joking that an unexpected offstage noise was Democrat Barack Obama looking to avoid a gunman (257)
(Breitbart.com) PSA Ray Liotta and Squiggy from Laverne & Shirley refuse to serve in 'illegal Iraq war' (293)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Actual headline: "The mile-high club." FTFA: "It requires only one person to fly it." (39)
(AP) Interesting TV prescription drug ads may no longer be allowed to distract you with flying bees while detailing side effects (221)
(CBC) Dumbass "That there cat that ran into the bushes was purty darn big" "Yup it was. You stand over yonder with yer picher taker, we'll scare it out 'wards ya." Cougar in the backyard trifecta now in play (55)
(Sign On San Diego) Dumbass Osama bin Laden releases new message reiterating old message. Short version: he's still in a cave somewhere and al Qaida Prime ain't done sh*t in 7 years (177)
(Metro) Weird British police on high alert over reports of a mass pillow fight in Hyde park this weekend (31)
(Local6) Florida Today's "Day-care van jammed with 38 kids driven by a driver with a learner's permit" brought to you by Jacksonville (56)
(WXII 12) Scary Looks like that guy in Boston isn't the only one who lost his cock last night (77)
(Denver Post) Dumbass Keg parties at Colorado Governor's mansion have two rules - no throwing up and no sexy time (w/ pics) (83)
(Local6) Asinine Student gets suspended for bad haircut (with pic goodness) (123)
(MSNBC) Followup Conservative groups vow to fight California gay marriage ruling, because the only way to save this land of Freedom is to guarantee permanent discrimination against gays (1322)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida News: Deputy hospitalized after being bitten while subduing suspect in parking lot. Fark: Suspect was 8-foot alligator (18)
(SuperDeluxe) Obvious What's the quickest way to level 70 in WOW? Boobs (210)
(Local6) Interesting Media Freakshow of the Day: Boy sleeps for first time in 3 years (with video) (87)
(Valleywag) Followup Pro-Microsoft shareholders now control at least 29 percent of Yahoo. CEO Jerry Yang can write all the letters he wants, but that's a pretty big fork (42)
(Chicago Tribune) Strange If you don't want Mad Cow, make your cows happy, like with the waterbeds and flat-screen TVs these cows get (35)
(CNN) Asinine "I don't necessarily support him being here, but because he's here and we can't discriminate against other races, I support him..." A black guy said it? No faux media outrage for you then (347)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Is there connection between fire at Chicago mayor's vacation home and the dead cougar? (29)
(STLToday) Silly "You just know it’s not going to be an ordinary day at the office when you show up with a hamster. I thought, not for the first time, that I was glad I did not work in a prison." (48)
(Newsweek) Interesting A new study reveals that for teens, it's not whether you're really popular. It's whether you THINK you are (103)
(Yahoo) Stupid Tampa Bay reveals plans for new baseball stadium to replace the old one that opened way back in 1990 (117)
(SFGate) Misc CA trying to be the first state to ban everything that could conceivably harm anybody, ever (115)
(Daily Mail) Weird It takes three senior judges to finally answer the question "are moobs sexually appealing?" (133)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting People aren't donating their organs, which is why we need to legalize a market to sell them. One kidney, like new, used only to urinate on Sundays, $25,000 OBO (231)
(Bangor Daily News) Sad Man who was clincally dead for six minutes in a construction accident and then later beat cancer finally dies at the bottom of a golf course pond. This is why you don't play best two out of three with Darwin (84)
(USA Today) Sad Not News: college athletes often don't go to class. Still Not News: They didn't in high school either. Fark: It may cost Kansas their national championship (179)
(Labspaces.net) Followup New study shows that Oscar Pistorius, the double amputee sprinter, doesn't have a leg up (90)
(SunJournal.com) Dumbass Playing basketball in your apartment can be fun until you hit the sprinkler and get called for dribbling (23)
(BBC) Amusing Blind person forgets to feed her dog steak. Dog leads blind person into river. Bad dog (49)
(KSTP) Sick Man attempts suicide by diving head first into a city worker's industrial wood chipper, manages to screw it up (153)
(Yahoo) Strange How much of a "sport" can it really be if a 56-year-old woman can qualify for the Olympics? (284)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida What's fat, rides around on a lark, never shows up for work, and makes over $100k? Bonus: He's elected (141)
(Some Bell Curve Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this bar graph (86)
(Baby Name Wizard) Stupid The fastest-rising baby names of 2008 come from reality shows; in related news, the fastest-rising stripper names of 2008 come from reality shows (382)
(News.com.au) Dumbass "While waiting for the ambulance, Mr Grimmond was heard to say he was a "d**khead", that he had torched a vehicle, and would have to pay for damage. He was also heard to say "why doesn't anybody like me?" (21)
(Boston Globe) PSA Be on the lookout -- someone lost their cock in Boston last night (65)
(The London Paper) Scary No matter how much you loved your job, kidnapping and torturing the boss who fired you is very rarely a good idea (68)
(Detroit News) Dumbass Not News: Seniors suspended over T-shirts. Fark: "Class of .08 Seniors" (153)
(The Sun) Strange Former aircraft hijacker now lives in Britain, has a job working as a cleaner... at Heathrow (81)
(CBS Sacramento) Scary If you left a bazooka rocker launcher behind a Jack in the Box in Turlock, California, the police would like a word with you (124)
(CBS Philadelphia) Stupid Today's "insanely expensive sandwich getting free publicity from unnecessary media coverage" story comes to you from The City of Brotherly Love. Note to media: Expensive food is not newsworthy (102)
(Fox News) PSA When landing your airplane, recommended landing spots do not include another plane attempting to take off. Bonus: Pic of said incident included, and yes, it is tailor-made for a FAIL caption (171)
(BBC) Cool Oldest known bust of Caesar found, stabbed (93)
(Some Reich) Interesting EU wants more people to learn German. You know... just in case (213)
(Globe and Mail) Strange We need to ban iPods to stop people from being run over by helicopters (82)
(News Of The World) Ironic Heidi Fleiss, the Hollywood Madam, now lives in a trailer with 20 parrots and likes fat guys. She's still available so she must have her sights set too high (with "do not want" pictures) (260)
(Some AAA Member) Photoshop Photoshop this hand-signaling driver (62)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Guy takes running start in order to win a "who can spit furthest" contest off of hotel balcony. What could possibly go wrong? (85)

Thu May 15, 2008
(Some Guy) Amusing Dear, there's a cat under the porch, would you take care of it? Sure hon, no probOHOLYCRAP (122)
(Google) Advice TFer was attacked by several large ducks. They broke the skin with their biting\pecking. Do they carry any diseases I need to seek medical help for? They all got away (611)
(Stuff) Followup That 13-year-old kid that paid hookers to play Halo? He doesn't exist. Obvious tag trumped by followup (33)
(First Coast News) Florida Trying to rob a pizza joint: Stupid. Trying to rob the pizza joint you work at: Moronic. Trying to rob the pizza joint you work at wearing your uniform: Welcome to Fark (65)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Study: Rising ocean may submerge South Florida. Promises, promises (143)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass State begins program to trap sea lions at Bonneville Dam, forget that sea lions spend a lot of time in water for a reason. Stellar job on their part (50)
(Holy Taco) Obvious Ten items that you think make you look cool but really don't. Bluetooth headsets suspiciously ab- oh wait, there it is at #8 (464)
(Fox News) Asinine Judge tells underage drinker to kill himself, community outraged, judge asks, "Should I not have done that? Was that bad?" (154)
(Some Guy) PSA Pope says "thanks" to virgins. Submitter says thanks for nothing (122)
(Fox News) Dumbass Mugger fails at mugging but does learn a valuable lesson in Newtonian physics (52)
(Newsweek) Interesting Between gas prices, food prices and high unemployment, a lot of people are going to enjoy summer "staycations" (166)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass If the Starbucks logo offends you, and causes you to call for a boycott, you just might be a Christian (346)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy United Airlines accidently drops fuel surcharge of up to $130; can't fix problem until 8:00 ET (77)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these three board girls (65)
(Some guy) Obvious McDonald’s Southern-style chicken sandwiches: Neither Southern-style, nor particularly chicken-like (342)
(CNN) Spiffy Mom who posed as a 16-year-old boy and cyber-bullied a 13-year-old girl into hanging herself may soon be posing as a person not behind bars (479)
(WAFF.com) Asinine News: Three-year-old girl seriously hurt in accident caused by street racers. Fark: The racers were both in Comcast work vans (103)
(AP) Scary There is a new trend developing among cash-strapped citizens: drinking crappy beer (261)
(MSNBC) Cool "He said he began collecting penises 24 years ago, when working as a school administrator, with little notion he would one day be running a museum devoted to the subject". Penis (198)
(9 News) Unlikely Storm chasers build badonkadonk with bullet-proof glass in order to drive right into tornadoes. How can this possibly go wrong? (With video) (160)
(LA Times) NewsFlash California complies with Republican requests to reduce the number of illegals. Bonus points for creativity in doing so (2326)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Substitute teacher shows up to school so drunk he can't even complete a sobriety test. Bonus: He has vanity plates reading "IMBLZT" (111)
(Spiegel) Obvious U.S. media has spent far more time this election season talking about flag lapel pins, bogus sniper fire and fake mistresses than on any issues of actual substance. Someone should write a book about this (220)
(CNN) Scary "Hello, this is 911, go f*ck yourself." (264)
(Yahoo) Stupid McCain says he sought the endorsement controversial preacher Hagee because he liked his "support of the state of Israel," Unfortunately Hagee "supports" Israel because he's hoping its destruction will kick off Armageddon (421)
(CNN) Asinine CNN proves they have an obsession with mancaves by running another extremely insightful story about them. Trifecta complete (166)
(ADN) Obvious Alaska's U.S. senators not happy that polar bears are now listed as endangered, no doubt because it will stop their citizens from getting drunked up and chasing them on snowmobiles (171)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Office worker awarded $10,000 because her boss farted in her general direction. No word on whether he will taunt her some more (258)
(International Herald Tribune) Obvious Burmese junta has stolen everything coming its way these days, including the paper on which the UN was going to write its latest strongly worded letter blaming the cyclone on Israel (143)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Navy bomber to national forest: "Oops, my bad" (79)
(Fox News) Interesting Bush: Allowing Iran to obtain nuclear weapons is "unforgivable." Looks like someone is getting ready for a bombing (448)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass Spill beer on my couch, and I'll hit you on the dome with this clawhammer (52)
(Starpulse) Stupid Mike Judge claims he's ready to make a live-action Beavis and Butt-Head film, expected to suck more than anything that has ever sucked before (257)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Take a product targeted to one gender and make it appealing to the other (75)
(Telegraph) Sad A-wooooooooooooo woo woo woooooooooooooooooo (189)
(Chicago Tribune) Amusing R. Kelly trial shows best ways to avoid getting picked for jury. "R. Kelly may have led the Taliban in attacking us on 9/11, but you can't prove it" (58)
(Yahoo) Cool McCain will implement UK Parliament-style sessions if he becomes president (228)
(Rian.Ru) Hero Ukrainian town to build statue in honour of "those people who make pigs of themselves by drinking far too much" (47)
(Some Guy) Dumbass The old "Yes, I put brake cleaner in his Gatorade but I did it for science" defense works again (35)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man has sex with two dogs, but no charges filed because it's not illegal in the Obvious Tag state (320)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Trucker dresses up as cop with a German shepherd sidekick, goes into various pharmacies nationwide and convinces them to hand over Oxycontin and other drugs. Tag for all involved (27)
(The Sun) Hero Man puts cheating wife on eBay. Even the starting price of one pound is too expensive (215)
(Centre Daily Times) Weird Goats spraypainted with swastikas (86)
(Daily Bulletin) Obvious 2 Fast. 2 Furious. 2 Be Recycled (80)
(Some Guy) PSA Drew will be on live with Twitch on Z103 in Lexington, KY from 8a.m. to 10 a.m. EST (31)
(SMH) Amusing Hasbro isn't entirely happy about a video showing My Little Ponies singing "Smashing and bashing, killing dudes, tends to have an effect on you" (38)
(Marketwatch) Interesting CBS to buy C|Net for $1.8 billion. C|Net now featuring articles entitled "How to use your rotary phone" and "The technology of Matlock" (48)
(Telegraph) PSA Upon being confronted by the facts, various cliches about the French surrender (152)
(Post Bulletin) Obvious Survey finds BlackBerry etiquette is lack -- hang on, just got an email (128)
(ACME) Spiffy The complete illustrated ACME catalog: Every item depicted in a Warner Brothers cartoon between 1935 and 1964 (140)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida 911 not the best number to call about moon phases (34)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Why no child is safe from the sinister cult of "emo" (350)
(Charlotte) Interesting In 1970, environmentalists predicted massive man-made ice age, U.S. population of only 22 million by 1999, and "even money that England will not exist in the year 2000" (257)
(kmvt) Dumbass Stoner of the Year award goes to this guy, who forgot 21 pounds of pot in his former apartment (56)
(My Fox DC) Stupid When you go to your kid's school to meet with the principal, you should probably leave your three loaded guns at home (33)
(AP) Dumbass Woman fakes cancer to avoid working. Husband will never believe fake headache story again (39)
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth) Interesting Houston, we have ants in our pants, over. All over, over (54)
(AP) Strange Two dozen giant beetles seized at post office (with pic) (35)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida "Neptune" is charged with 103 counts of child-sex acts, Uranus touching. Venus (70)
(The Southern) Sad Man in wheelchair inadvertently finds the "Park and Ride" section of the train station (20)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Not news: College student gets A's in math, piano and Mandarin classes and plans to go on to study astrophysics and prove the existence of wormholes. Fark: He's 10 years old (93)
(AP) Cool Michigan girl sells 17,328 boxes of Girl Scout Cookies. Detroit prepares for yet another year as the nation's fattest city (37)
(Some Kid) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Childhood fears (link goes to example) (129)
(AP) Stupid Plane ticket? Check. Luggage? Check. Two-year-old infant? Whoops (51)
(Statesman) Stupid School mural stirring up controversy because it "presents a new age idea of peace and unity that could be confusing to Christian students" (486)
(Canada.com) Dumbass Not news: Man caught on Canadian highway yet again. News: While watching DVD movie. Fark: Idiot leaves it up and running while police officer approaches car after traffic stop (45)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 158: “Happy Farktography Anniversary III." Details and rules in Boobies. LGT next week's theme (221)

Wed May 14, 2008
(Cracked) Amusing Near misses: The six worst movies Hollywood almost made (116)
(News.com.au) Amusing If you are missing a hearing aid, a vibrator, some power tools, your war medals, a few bottles of booze, a fire extinguisher, a kayak and $10,000 cash, Tasmania Police would like to speak with you. Because they wanna party with you, cowboy (38)
(Some Guy) Caption Help me find a caption for this happy monster (96)
(Metro) Scary Holy Cow (107)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Ironic Chicago City Council acknowledges its prior stupidity, repeals foie gras ban. Residents can now eat all the goose liver they want in smoke-free restaurants (166)
(NJ.com) Interesting Dennis Quaid urges Congress to preserve victims' right to sue. No word if this right covers those who have seen his movies (104)
(CNN) Hero Hillary cries during CNN interview today. Hopefully will not do the same thing during future summits with world leaders (442)
(Boing Boing) Sad Warner and DC Comics shut down children's cancer auction over a copyright issue (123)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this facemask (64)
(Some Guy) NewsFlash Edwards endorses Obama in historic bid to be named first Secretary of Mill Affairs (863)
(Some Guy) Amusing Portrayals of George W. Bush in international advertisements (226)
(MSNBC) Cool The media doing their job and reporting that the GOP loss in Mississippi is more important than Hillary Clinton's win in West Virginia? Unpossible (124)
(Rasmussen Reports) Cool If Clinton does not win the Democratic Party nomination, 29 percent of Democrats say she should run as an independent. Which should work well, just ask President Nader (241)
(Boston Globe) Interesting Gaza Rocket scores a hit in Israel -- draws up plans for a summertime tour of the Mediterranean coast (206)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Followup Charter defends its plan to monitor your Web traffic for ad targeting: It's an "enhancement" (139)
(Some local paper) PSA Police looking for missing woman wearing "blue spandex pants and a white shirt with 'who needs boobs' written on the front and 'with an ass like this' on the back" (217)
(Guardian.com) Obvious The good news: Tax receipts are setting all time records. The bad news: So is the deficit (133)
(Action 3 News - Omaha) Strange Nebraska soccer coach accused of binding, gagging, blindfolding and suspending young boys from the rafters in his garage. Guess you have to be ready for whatever the other team throws at you (94)
(Riverfront Times) Followup My Chemical Romance railed against violence toward women. Then one of the band's security allegedly assaulted a female photographer at a St. Louis show. Oops (199)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Thirty percent of households have no land line, use only cell phones, as reliance on technol ------ (no signal) (361)
(CNN) PSA According to a new study, objectifying women may be okay. Especially in springtime. Here comes the "science" (429)
(The Daily Item) Stupid Crossing guard is bit by raccoon. School responds by locking down the school and then dismissing students out of a different door than normal (76)
(Some Guy) Dumbass It takes guts to break into an abandoned building and start a meth lab, but it really takes some balls to change the locks and have your mail delivered there (41)
(SFGate) Spiffy TV sitcoms make you dumb. Findings also show that "According to Jim" can make you so stupid you actually die from forgetting to breathe (204)
(Wonkette) Stupid Talking about anal sex and oral-anal sex in a controlled sex ed environment? Totally evil. Making robo calls to households where kids might answer the phone and talking about anal and oral-anal sex? No problem (214)
(CBC) Interesting HPV found to cause more than 50 percent of oral cancer in men. Unfortunately, the vaccine would turn men into lewd, horny, sex fiends (197)
(Ad Age) Interesting Brazil offended by liquor ad featuring naked woman because the liquor isn't really Brazilian (possibly Not safe for work) (150)
(AP) Florida Not news: Some cities battle each other in sports. News: Other cities fight over commercial revenue. Fark: Two neighboring Florida cities locked in dispute over how many pigs you can keep as a pet (35)
(Boston Globe) Obvious Copper thieves watch the forclosure notices too (162)
(Comedy Central) Amusing Stephen Colbert on Bill O'Reilly: "My crew is always trying to sneak phrases into the teleprompter and I and my tiny tiny penis will not have it" (186)
(CBC) Stupid Woman fired after being accused of taking $2 from Tim Hortons gets her day in court. Bonus: Investigating police officer got free coffee (177)
(Telegraph) Followup Defendant: "You will not send me to jail for attacking these geeks" Judge: "I will not sentence you to jail for attacking these geeks" (89)
(NYPost) Stupid NYC Taxi & Limousine Commission fines cab driver for dropping the f-bomb. WNBC's "Salty Sue" Simmons reports (40)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Portrait of naked fat chick brings $33 million at auction. Wait until the buyer discovers free Internet porn -- man is he going to be pissed. (SFW) (111)
(Telegraph) Stupid That Meatwater cheeseburger juice thing? It's a hoax (66)
(wsbtv.com) Amusing Georgia church tries to attract new members with a $500 gas giveaway. Most are not willing to sit through boring service for less than a tankful (64)
(WCPO) Dumbass Instead of ringing the doorbell when visiting his girlfriend, this moron uses the window. She wasn't there but her father was. Hilarity ensues (109)
(FARK) PSA Shiny new Fark Facebook app now available. Geocities-compatible version still delayed. DIT (207)
(My Fox DC) Silly In rare display of logic, VA court dismisses case against one-year-old (108)
(Toronto Star) Spiffy American beers are now best in the world (486)
(Philly) Dumbass Philadelphia's favorite female identity thief is in hot water in Cali for fake call to 911, possibly because getting even bigger breasts isn't an emergency (60)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these old-timey Go players (59)
(Metrowest Daily News) Amusing "The officers arrived there and they found a disrobed mannequin" (38)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass Today's "criminal mastermind takes pot to court and hands it to the security screener" story brought to you by Cleveland, TN (67)
(Winnipeg Sun) PSA Remember folks, don't press too hard when using your knife to carve artwork in your lover's chest during a bout of rough sex (158)
(Rian.Ru) Weird There are many jobs in which taking your work home with you is acceptable. Street cleaning is not one of them (21)
(Canoe) Spiffy Velcro turns 50 years old. Plans on getting ripped (57)
(BBC) Followup Secrecy in mccann case extended for a furtHEr three months, accordDIng to juDicIal auThorities (88)
(MSNBC) Obvious After losing the first four games of a seven-game series, Hillary crushes Obama in West Virginia, is really turning this into a race (729)
(The Sun) Weird "Today we're going to practice your hill starts, but first I'd like you to kick me in the groin as hard as you can: (45)
(BBC) Amusing Students prank school by turfing over a common room. Teachers and administrators tell them to get off their lawn, all 100 of them (34)
(Reuters) Sad Not content with earthquakes, volcanoes, and tornados, U.S. government officials warn of an "equine tsunami" (64)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass Not news: Car thief steals, chops car. Still not news: Police catch thief. Fark: By following the trail of engine oil from the abandoned car to his front door (17)
(Some Guy) Scary It came before / might come again / a wind-borne killer / of women and men / Burma Wave II (78)
(Washington Post) Amusing You know your campaign has become a joke when the Washington Post mocks you via a Monty Python skit (218)
(News.com.au) Followup Australian politician busted sniffing a female staffer's chair denies ever "doing anything inappropriate with a quokka" (36)
(Canada.com) Hero Last woman veteran of WWI celebrates her 109th birthday, saying, "There's nothing cushy about life in the Womens' Auxilliary Balloon Corps" (43)
(Rocky Mountain News) Scary Much like with the mafia, once you join this mariachi band, you can't just walk away from it (28)
(Forbes) Sick In the market for a house? Check out the world's first billion-dollar domicile (236)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sharp tool (42)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Judge rules high school must let teen girl wear pro-gay rights T-shirt as free speech right. No ruling issued whether T-shirt can be wet or dry (165)
(AP) Asinine Democrats propose smacking the wealthy with another $5,000 tax. Why? "They're not going to miss it" (1166)
(News.com.au) Interesting More secret UFO files from British Ministry of Defence released to public. Files offer extraordinary new evidence of stupidity of general public (37)
(SeattlePI) Scary There's a huge fault line beneath Seattle "similar to the one in China." EVERYBODY DOUBLE-TALL NO-WHIP PANIC (79)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man puts nozzle in wrong hole, hazmat called to the scene. Been there, done that (61)
(CNN) Obvious Latest sign we're in a recession: Terrorist reward money cut (93)
(Baltimore Sun) Dumbass Perhaps while you're a judge, it isn't best to use statements like, "What's the big rush to get back to Pennsylvania? It's an ugly state" (49)

Tue May 13, 2008
(The Hollywood Reporter) Scary Point Break 2 (145)
(The Tennessean) Obvious Gorilla mask-wearing robber demands money, pants. Then it gets weird (55)
(NWA Morning News) Followup 413 pound inmate who filed suit alleging starvation after losing 105 pounds in jail caught giving his food away (80)
(Election Geek) Followup College kids and people with degrees are guaranteed Obama voters? Not in West Virginia (846)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Amusing Official attire for the RNC announced, including red and white Zubas. That's right. Zubas (225)
(Some Criminal) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Create your own "Grand Theft Auto" game cover (90)
(Now Magazine) Silly Ginger Spice Geri Halliwell overestimates her writing skills as she tries to rewrite passages from the Bible (70)
(CBS Sacramento) Asinine Every 10 years or so, you'll hear this in the S.F. Bay area: "So what are you guys planning to do with the mothball fleet?" "What mothball fleet? Oh, that mothball fleet. Uh..." (125)
(CBC) Obvious For Einstein, religion was "an incarnation of the most childish superstitions" (785)
(Contact Music) Amusing Shatner says he hated sleeping with "Star Trek" fans because they'd pretend he was beaming them up in bed (138)
(Some Guy) Obvious Friday is "Bike to Work" day in Indianapolis. In related news, Saturday will be, "Help Clean up Body Parts from the Interstate" day (250)
(Seacoastonline.com) Amusing Quick, Robin, to the potcave (102)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man claims Air Force One dropped him off on a Dallas runway. Why yes, alcohol WAS involved. How did you guess? (45)
(Gawker) Followup Top 10 angry on-air anchorman/woman meltdowns (251)
(9 News) Ironic Lance Armstrong to attend two cancer charity balls today (212)
(Reuters) Unlikely Great News: 300 minimum wage jobs at an Iowa meat-packing factory just became available. Expect the company to be flooded with thousands of resumes from legal US residents eager to work there (354)
(WFAA) Dumbass Man uses revolver as back scratcher, with the predictable result. Was beer involved you ask? You bet your ass (84)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Man attempting to rob church with gun shaped lighter tackled by parishioners (57)
(Yahoo) Dumbass By 2009, the army will be destroyed, Social Security will be bankrupt and global warming will kill us all. Worse, we'll have a permanent Democratic majority. The good news is you won't have to read stupid predictions of doom anymore (432)
(FloridaToday) Florida Brevard Zoo welcomes a new litter of ugly ass red wolf pups (w/ don’t touch my babies pic) (91)
(AP) Obvious Retail sales dip for second time in two months. Thanks goodness the government is sending us free money. Woohoo, free money everyone, let's go shopping (223)
(SFGate) Cool Marines exceed recruiting goal by 42 percent, also surpass "kicking ass and taking names" goal by a gazillion percent for the 232nd year (575)
(Yahoo) Obvious If your are sneaking on to military bases to steal shell casings to sell for scrap; the military would like to remind you that's an excellent way to get your ass shot off right now (89)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Steak flavored beer developed (108)
(Some Guy) Interesting Duke Energy blames "unknown suction" as the reason for vibration at Oconee Nuclear Station [insert obvious cliche here] (97)
(Daily Kos) Followup The Clinton-Linked "Voter's rights group" that inadvertantly sent misleading info to minorities on how register to vote in AZ, CO, and NC, is now accidentally doing the same thing in WV and KY (259)
(NewsMax) Silly Finally, a relevant study of the harmful effects of marijuana: "The marijuana users in the study averaged smoking 78 to 350 marijuana cigarettes per week" (237)
(Reuters) Unlikely "This proves that we are normal," said the president and founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association (119)
(News.com.au) Spiffy British judges abandon 300-year-old tradition of wearing wigs in favor of a new "Star Trek" look (147)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this garage sale (59)
(AP) Interesting If you are a Catholic who believes in aliens, good news: You are no longer going to hell. In related developments, The Pope is now the head of the Church of Scientology too (274)
(The Hill) Interesting The Hill manages to get every sitting senator not in the race to state whether or not they would be VP (109)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting John Hagee, controversial preacher who endorsed John McCain, will apologize to Catholics for calling their church "The Great Whore." Which is good, because everybody knows that title belongs to Lindsay Lohan (168)
(WTMJ) Asinine News: Two women arrested after allowing a two-year-old to smoke. FARK: The boy often rolls up a dollar bill to his nose and repeatedly says, "fix, fix." (231)
(the alligator) Amusing College of Liberal Arts and Sciences at UF shocked, SHOCKED that they have to cut Phd programs in Philosophy, French and German (242)
(Yahoo) Asinine In anticipation of a reduced number of Americans flying this summer, airlines slash rates to attract new customers. Not really: they continue to hike fares and add on extra charges for bags, drinks, food and so forth (126)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Mattel may win $500 million in lawsuit after convincing a judge that Bratz dolls really are Barbie's trailer trash cousins (194)
(Canada.com) Obvious Putin won't even give up his Kremlin chair for the new Russian president (75)
(Newsday) Amusing Tonight at 11 on WNBC news: "What the F---- are you doing?" (212)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man tips back a beer in grocery store. Makes news (63)
(WGAL) Sick Lab worker admits he has a thing for older women, especially 92-year-old dead ones (174)
(KGW) Obvious Experts say you can still eat well on a budget as long as you don't buy anything that tastes good (157)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man tries to poach wild parakeet eggs by climbing power station tower. Man fried, eggs scrambled (56)
(Canada.com) Unlikely Politician thinks people too dumb to know poutine isn't good for them will understand fitness tax incentives (159)
(AP) Obvious One in 10 Boomers are taking out loans to afford basic living expenses. Look for the followup thread when the economy recovers showing their outrage that money isn't free and that the younger generations should pick up their tab (606)
(CBC) Sad Grim Reaper continues his south Asian business trip, killing 36 in ferry accident in Bangladesh (121)
(Bismarck Tribune) Amusing Man caught stealing at police auction (40)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Ah, the age old story of love. Boy meets girl. Girl seduces boy. Girl convinces boy to finance her taste for fine goods by going on identity theft spree (211)
(Daily Mail) Scary Married couple with combined weight of 672 pound to undergo his-and-hers gastric band surgery. This article is just fine without pics (157)
(SeattlePI) Obvious Drunk, wearing a tuxedo and driving a riding mower is no way to go through life, son (43)
(ksdk.com) Strange Family moves into first house with high hopes, only to discover one crappy problem: House was sold with no sewer system (126)
(Some perv) Dumbass Man drops pants in court, asks judge for oral sex, checks with clerk to see if she wants to see his genitals. How polite (79)
(13Wham.com) Weird Russian school's dinners spiked with X, leading to an outbreak of naked wall climbing (76)
(YouTube) Spiffy "Gears of War 2" gameplay trailer. Subby confirms with employer that the flu will last all of November (297)
(BBC) Scary You may start your mass hysteria in three... two... one... (kitties and puppies news video) (62)
(Daily Record (UK)) Amusing Boat sails 100 feet in the air and gets beached on a greenside golf bunker. Al Czervik wanted for questioning (67)
(News.com.au) PSA Climate change will turn your cornflakes into a lethal BREAKFAST OF DOOM. I'm totally cereal (263)
(Some Miss Piggy) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Muppet movie-poster mash-up. LGT inspiration (167)
(TBO) Florida Judicial circuit explains why Hulk Hogan did not have to remove his bandana while testifying on behalf of his son. "It would have caused a big scene to have him take it off" (110)
(News.com.au) Sappy Meet Morpa, the Tasmanian Devil who won't bite and likes being kissed and cuddled, with cutest pic of a dangerous animal you'll see all day (53)
(LA Times) Spiffy Kid sells his video games at local pawn shop, then uses the money to donate to the Hillary Clinton presidential campaign (310)
(Cracked) Interesting The six most frequently quoted bullshiat statistics. Apparently, you don't have to wait 30 minutes after eating before beating the crap out of your wife on Super Bowl Sunday (144)
(Abc.net.au) Dumbass Man buckles up his beer, leaves his five-year-old unrestrained. You're doing it wrong (51)
(CBS New York) Asinine Man sues JetBlue for $2 million for forcing him to sit on toilet during flight. No complaints about the ample legroom though (116)
(Statesman) Dumbass Today's ... ahem ... TODAY'S TEACHER-SEX STORY COMES COURTESY OF TEXAS SCHOOL FOR THE DEAF (114)
(News.com.au) Weird Man wanted by police after breaking and entering, robbery and spooning (17)
(Abc.net.au) Interesting One in three women drink while pregnant. This thread de-livers (229)

Mon May 12, 2008
(JSOnline) Dumbass 13-year-old caught doing 79 mph. With mom in the passenger seat (76)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: New York is looking for a new advertising campaign. Let's help capture the essence of New York (43)
(Yahoo) Weird Cigarette vending machines in Japan may soon start counting wrinkles, crow's feet and skin sags to see if the customer is old enough to smoke. Suck it, Botox (93)
(Google) Survey If you could reunite any band, what band would it be? Pick as many as you like, no difficulties on a Monday (1415)
(AZCentral) Amusing Can you hear me now? Good, because I'm being arrested for being an insufferable douchebag and I'm going to need bail money (255)
(CBS News) Asinine Bush expected to veto expansion of the GI Bill because it would cost $51 billion over the next 10 years. In other news, we continue to spend $100 billion plus a year in Iraq (361)
(Yahoo) Dumbass A happy Mother's Day greeting from Hugo Chavez to German Chancellor Angela Merkel: "You're an offspring of Hitler" (220)
(ABC News) Interesting Hard-hitting ABC news investigation looks into why women are under so much strain these days. It's because of their enormous knockers (901)
(BBC) Obvious UN Secretary General said he is "immensely frustrated" at Burma's slow response to the cyclone -- may be forced to write an immensely angry letter (174)
(TampaBays10.com) Followup Nick Hogan Bollea not being held with other inmates in the jail, which they say has nothing to do with his celebrity status (279)
(ABC News) Sad Eighty-two percent of Americans say Bush has the country on the wrong track, and only 31 percent approve of his job OMG JENNA GOT MARRIED WHAT DID HER DRESS LOOK LIKE?? (435)
(Homestar Runner) Amusing Scantron vs. MimeogWrath (88)
(Some Golfer) Photoshop Photoshop the Great Wall of Golf (68)
(AP) Interesting Stressed out U.S. troops in Iraq are finding relief by playing with dolls. And that's cool cuz they damn well SAY it is cool. Boo-YAH (136)
(USA Today) Obvious More community leaders are saying, "Hey... you know, maybe we don't want sex offenders and criminals driving ice-cream trucks" (156)
(Mirror.co.uk) Unlikely "Psychic pet detective" finds missing terrier stuck down a hole. She accepts no reward money from the dog's owners, content instead to live on her billions from stock picks and lottery winnings (93)
(Wall Street Journal) Asinine U.S. taxpayers subsidize every single energy source that generates electricity. Natural gas gets $0.25 per megawatt, but solar gets $24 bucks per, and wind rakes in $23 plus all the migrating birds it can kill (492)
(Globe and Mail) Dumbass Heroic father battles social services for right to deny his child chemotherapy (408)
(Durant Democrat) Obvious If you flew over Bush's Crawford ranch during his daughter's wedding, don't be surprised if the local police show up when you land to have a talk (97)
(Local6) Florida Man plans to sue police for violating his civil rights -- after getting ticket for being unlawfully at large in a banana-hammock (132)
(New York Daily News) Asinine Despite being under fire for starting a second family in D.C. while his wife remained home with their children, drunk-driving Republican congressman is still showing his GOP colors by shunning his gay sister and her partner (637)
(National Post) Dumbass Researcher uses grant money to buy wheels for his car, an iPod and expensive TVs. Authorities outraged that a science grant is being treated like an arts grant (114)
(Boston Globe) Sad Not news: Company is proud of family, using them in ads. Fark.com: Then denies benefits when mom drops dead of cancer (147)
(The Local (Sweden)) Amusing Swedish military training apparently includes instruction in the fine art of shooting rocket launchers in the nude. With small blurry pic of one dude's naked butt (93)
(Duluth News Tribune) Followup Judge listens to evidence in lawsuit between driver and owners of free-range dog, decides they're all idiots (166)
(Belch) Cool CT Fark party, Sat. 24th (6-9:30), East Side restaurant in New Britain. LGT place. Beer mugs bigger than your head. Ticki tocki ticki tocki, etc. (123)
(UPI) Amusing Court transcribers can't handle Scottish. Aye? Doon the Dee on a digestive? Ah couldnae care a docken (103)
(Gadsden Times) Sappy "Dad, Mom just pulled another cat out of the wall" (81)
(London Times) Dumbass Father of barrister who started indiscriminately shooting up a London street wants to know why police shot his son when they could just have given him a nice cup of tea and asked him to calm down (138)
(BBC) Strange Problem: Your car (parked in your own driveway) gets clamped because the rear is hanging over the sidewalk. Solution: Cut car in half using an angle grinder. That'll show 'em (126)
(CBS Sacramento) Hero Man with balls of steel rescues elderly woman from oncoming train (113)
(Daily Record (UK)) Amusing Police get called in after a group of retirees at a care home start drinking too much vodak. Things got out of control after one of the old farts started offering free sex to other care home residents (66)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Create a new breakfast cereal (55)
(BBC) Asinine France may breathalyze people in clubs and bars at 2:00 a.m. due to recent DUI crashes. The thought police think in French (109)
(AFP) Stupid Japanese police hold kerosene-soaked man for questioning. Kerosene-soaked man asks for a light. Cops oblige kerosene-soaked man. Then things really get heated (72)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Alcatraz Pagan prisoners allowed to have magic wands as part of new religious freedoms (110)
(News.com.au) Interesting Nanny State primary schools will now be teaching kids as young as five about the evils of gambling. "Go Fish" will never be the same again (43)
(MSNBC) News China finally cracks under international pressure (262)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Man hit by train as he tries to lay coin on tracks; narrowly slips through Darwin's icy fingers (42)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Hundredth anniversary of the mobile phone. With "I say, am I audible to your good self now?" pics (69)
(Sun Sentinel) Interesting For another year, Emily and Jacob are the top baby names. Milo still hoping to crack the top 1000 (383)