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Sun June 01, 2008
(Some Drifter) Photoshop Photoshop under the boardwalk (47)
(USA Today) Amusing Blackwater Security buys a fighter plane from Brazil. when told that Brazilian law prohibits the sale of arms to companies or for use in existing conflicts, Blackwater replies: "It's for....ummmm, what, uh, what was the question?" (74)
(Fox News) Interesting Plane missing since 1984 found in receding Texas lake. See? Global warming isn't all bad (53)
(Some Ex-Prez) Caption Caption this Bill Clinton moment (99)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Dude. That is some good compost you're smoking (31)
(CBS New York) Asinine Reason #15,371 that people get fired: cupcakes (64)
(Google) Sad Yves Saint Laurent looks absolutely faaaaaaaaabulous in this year's wooden overcoat collection (57)
(Kansas.com) Obvious Turns out that hurricane season forecasts are about as useful as "President Hillary Clinton" commemorative cocktail napkins (42)
(CBS Minneapolis) Interesting Tornado that destroyed Hugo, MN last Sunday left behind some very bizzare phenomenon, like rewinding toilet paper and four steak knives that landed in a perfect square (71)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Interesting If you call your douchebag school official a "douchebag" on your blog you have to accept the consequences, says the US Second Circuit Court of Appeals (77)
(Scientific American) Interesting Drug use doesn't stop with aging so, like, whatever groovy happening you wanna have on my lawn is cool, man, long as the fuzz doesn't find out (74)
(Telegram) Sad College students can't read teacher's handwriting because it is in cursive instead of pixels (273)
(Palm Beach Post) Sad Not news: Teacher retires after 36 years of teaching. Fark: Teacher drops dead five minutes after saying goodbye to her last class (71)
(USA Today) Obvious Sex And The City movie earns $55 million, which will hopefully be donated to help the rising female STD rates & single moms that the show created (202)
(Google) Amusing The strangest thing on Google Maps Street View you'll see all day (95)
(Some Guy) Asinine Police officer interrupts class to inform that fellow classmate died in a DUI accident; leaves a rose on the deceased's seat. Class all torn up, until it's announced that it was a ploy to make them ths about the consequenced of DUI (275)
(Politico) Hero On Saturday, when Barack Obama was apologizing for his racist church, John McCain visited Walter Reed. Without TV cameras (353)
(Reuters) Asinine Iran said on Sunday it might have to limit its cooperation with the U.N. nuclear watchdog, criticizing the agency's report which said Tehran's alleged research into nuclear warheads was a matter of serious concern (100)
(MSNBC) Obvious Clinton wins the state of Puerto Rico, making her 21-0 in the United States That Matter (587)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Ugly-ass baby cremello blue-eyed cream foal that's not really an albino born in Hampshire (60)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what's left of this old bench (44)
(The Sun) Cool Terminally ill man collects £5,000 after betting he would stay alive (45)
(News.com.au) Obvious Australia is becoming a nation of precious, nervous, anxious little snowflakes (65)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy At 112 years old, Europe's oldest man attributes his longevity to 'cigarettes, whisky and wild, wild women' (76)
(Des Moines Register) Interesting Woman with a BB gun manages to shoot a stop sign, an unoccupied home that was being remodeled, several passing motorists, and the right hand of a man calling 911, but does not shoot her eye out (25)
(Daily Mail) Strange Over 100 homeless people are living permanently in Heathrow airport, dressing like travellers to avoid detection. Tom Hanks unavailable for comment (82)
(SMH) PSA Australia has officially withdrawn from Iraq as of today, handing the reins over to US command (203)
(CSMonitor) Obvious Europe balks at $8 a gallon gas. Of course this is absurd since they don't use gallons, they have the Dewey Decimal system (72)
(Reuters) Obvious Hottest chick pickup location: Movie theaters showing "Sex in the City" that also serve alcohol (171)
(The Local.de) Strange When guns are outlawed, only outlaws will have WWII anti-aircraft cannons (64)
(The Morning Call) Interesting Lasermonks. ''Like so many jobs you do in the monastery, you do what needs to be done" (33)
(Newsweek) Scary Oil to rise to $200 per barrel on news that oil has risen to $135 per barrel (129)
(Some Guy) Interesting Hometown celebrates diversity with "Meet a Black Guy" booth at the Saturday market (139)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Facebook profile: "I'm 27, super horny, and A+++in bed. I'm your 16 yr old daughter's high school teacher" (233)
(MSNBC) Interesting Berliners annoyed with roving boars. Tells elderly British to go back home (31)
(CNN) Sad Bush to Myanmar: Screw you guys, we're going home (310)
(BBC) Strange Power cut caused by... itchy cows (19)
(Local6) Spiffy NASA putting Buzz Lightyear on space station (with pics) (55)
(Reuters) NewsFlash Massive special effect has broken out at Universal Studios (356)
(News.com.au) Cool Man drops thousands of dollars from plane, residents collect it for deposit on tank of gas (34)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this man flying the coop (34)
(Palm Beach Post) Interesting Amtrak ridership up as fuel prices hit new highs. In related news, Amtrak is still around (131)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Surgeons cut 16 washers from penis. Quote FTA: "The man may well have thought long and hard about placing himself in the difficult situation" (81)
(Some mustachioed gent) Sad Inventor of the Pringle can buried in one, hopes to be kept fresh and crisp for years to come (64)
(WFTV) Florida Girl's MySpace page says 19 and divorced. Guy 22, meets with her, has sex. Oops, she's 13. He gets a year in prison. FARK: The first guy she did this to got 5 years in jail (596)
(BBC) Scary Tonight on "Eye on Springfield": Meet a man who's been hiccuping for 15 months "(Hic) Kill me (Hic) Kill me" (46)
(The New York Times) Amusing Man charged with using cartoon names to open 58,000 fake accounts. That's just goofy (31)
(Some Guy) Scary Convict says he escaped because his penis was getting rotten in prison (21)
(Spiegel) Interesting Madame Tussauds in Berlin to display wax figure of You-Know-Who. What could possibly go wrong? (104)
(Fox News) Scary Man waits in ambush all day to fatally stab a neighbor who told him he smelled. That stinks (68)
(Sign On San Diego) Scary Researchers studying death of swallows and if they can carry coconuts (31)
(Some Guy) Obvious Not satisfied with $4 a gallon gas, the completely independent, uncorrupted media warns $6 a gallon gas is possible this year (103)
(Yahoo) Asinine Who ever said there's no cure for cancer? Millions of praying victims can't be... hey, wait a second there (58)
(AFP) Sad Last drunken tube party before alcohol ban. 'Transport chaos' is what they called it (44)
(Local6) Followup Foam pieces hit space shuttle during lift off. This is not a repeat of last year. Or the year before that (79)
(Reuters) Weird Jesus loves me, this I know. I have his statue, made of blow (75)
(AP) Scary 6.8 earthquake rocks Taiwan; rubber dog poop prices expected to soar 400% (45)
(Telegraph) Interesting The EU is at the same levels of research and development that the US achieved in 1979, and it will reach same per capita income as the US in 2072. But at least they have 6 weeks of vacation and aren't fat (229)
(ABC News) Obvious Prince William demands and receives dangerous tour of duty in Iraq. Just kidding, he'll be patrolling the treacherous waters of the Caribbean (65)
(CNN) Sad Lorenzo Odone, the kid with ALD whose life story was made into the film "Lorenzo's Oil," dies at age 30 (141)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Five tips to ensure the TSA doesn't steal your stuff (162)

Sat May 31, 2008
(Philly) Strange "A vibrator, purple anal beads, a bottle of "pleasure-enhancing lubricant," a videotape titled "Big Bad Biker Biatches" and a mysterious sex device with wires coming out of it." Not news, but a hell of a party (91)
(Miami Herald) Obvious Much of Cuba works about as hard as Maynard G. Krebs did (71)
(Politico) Obvious Michael Ware, CNN's Baghdad Correspondent, has some advice for John McCain (170)
(Some Guy) PSA If you're a high school basketball coach, it's probably a bad idea to have your picture taken playing beer pong at a party where underage drinking is going on (30)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this funky old German deep-sea diving suit (61)
(Some Girl) Spiffy Principal promises to dress like a cow and jump out of plane if students meet fundraising goal. They do. He does (39)
(KTVB.COM) Dumbass Alabama man decides to run away with 14 y/o redhead. Be on the lookout for license plate OMGROFL (250)
(SeattlePI) Dumbass From the facepalm files: Criminal geniuses steal vending machine from liquor store, leave dolly tracks all the way to their front yard where they left it in plain view (22)
(Washington Post) Obvious Pray at the Pump activists link hands, pray for lower gas prices at stations. Since they've started, gas has gone up 43 cents a gallon. Maybe if they prayed for it to go up (191)
(Baltimore Sun) Dumbass If your grand plan for hiding your drugs when arrested involves swallowing them, try to carry bags small enough to fit down your throat (38)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Barack Obama leaves Rev. Wright's Trinity United Church of Christ in Chicago (790)
(Local6) Florida 58-year-old transvestite grabs 73-year-old woman's boobies in church. With mugshot goodness (48)
(Gothamist) Dumbass 17-year-old blames DWI on drunk boy she was kissing. The empty beer can in her purse had nothing to do with it. (with mugshot) (122)
(Some Cyclone) Interesting First Atlantic tropical storm of the season forms somewhere between the Moon and New York City (56)
(MSNBC) Obvious Michael Chertoff says there's low risk for a nuclear attack. Translation: time to stock up on plastic sheeting and duct tape (69)
(NASA) Video Shuttle countdown discussion thread. Launch scheduled for 5:02pm ET; link goes to NASA-TV (266)
(Daily Camera) Amusing "Spandex causes people to lose sense of humor" (224)
(Some Guy) Obvious Man goes nuts after unnecessary testicle removal surgery, sues to get operating doctor sacked. Doctor says patient is a bit testy. Penis (85)
(The Scotsman) Cool You can stop exaggeration your fish stories now -- British man already hailed "World's Greatest Fisherman." And before you ask, yes, he has caught a great white (89)
(Fox Sports) Caption Caption Kevin Garnett of the Celtics (112)
(News.com.au) Amusing Kangsadarn Wongdusadeekul is crowned Thailand's most beautiful transvestite. Next goal: win the World's Silliest Name contest (207)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this beautiful woman (106)
(YouTube) Followup Spelling bee kid wonders if judge has numb nuts (94)
(Sign On San Diego) Scary H :^) .. H :^| .... H :( H| *splat* (84)
(BBC) Unlikely Court bans Scottish man from hitting on women while drunk. What else is there to do in Scotland? (54)
(News.com.au) Followup ♪ Cape Town riots kill eight more, doo-da, doo-da; also injuries galore, oh-dee-doo-da-day ♫ (141)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Group plans to raise "world's largest" Confederate flag at junction of Central Florida's busiest interstate junction. Who could possibly object? (525)
(Mercury News) Hero San Mateo firefighters rescue a calico from a 32-foot-tall tree, ensuring that she gets to celebrate a happy Caturday (513)
(Break) Amusing There's nothing quite like a beak up the nostril (41)
(The Sun) Asinine Cabbie banned from driving because he cant use apostrophes. Im in his corner, for what its worth (74)
(New Zealand Herald) Strange Weird laws from New Zealand: Shopkeepers have to use red ink to write the price on magazines they sell, you have to notify the government of any uranium you find, and the government can legally plow through your garden to build a canal (35)
(The Sun) Scary It's no wonder why Naomi Campbell's been wigging out lately (86)
(Some Guy) Strange "No, don't, don't cut my hair, don't do this in front of my daughter." (84)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this produce-loving duet (29)
(The Sun) Hero Lager - is there anything it *can't* do? (68)
(AP) Spiffy Boy from Indiana wins spelling bee. Who needs to noe how to spell when you have a spell cheqer? (70)
(Some Guy) Asinine Would all the parents who are regaining custody of their children please step forward. Not so fast polygamists (175)
(Local6) Florida Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean George Bush isn't hunting you (70)
(NBA.com) Spiffy Celtics vs. Lakers in NBA Finals. Time to party like it's 1987 (332)

Fri May 30, 2008
(Denver Channel) Spiffy Still photo has been leaked from actual space alien video release this morning. Folks, it doesn't get much more authentic than this (483)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing This week's TSG mugshots start off with Flintstones wannabes (207)
(Some Guy) Sad Man dies while waiting for a green light. No word on his Fark user name (82)
(AP) Sad All Canadian competitors have been eliminated from the National Spelling Bee after trying to put an extra "U" into several words and using a strange letter called "zed" (145)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this unsteady rollerblader (41)
(USA Today) Sad Motorists new frustration: Gas stations' $75 credit card transaction limits for fraud protection. Because not that long ago, a $75 fill-up charge was so ridiculous it had to be a scam (378)
(BBC) Interesting Researchers claim to have found mathematical formula to find the perfect human voice. Still no logical explanation for AC/DC fans (167)
(Google) Scary The rain in Spain falls mainly from the plane (41)
(Some Weed Guy) Dumbass Check your cell phone caller ID tags - Zack the Weed Man probably not a great idea (145)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida 79-year-old man jailed for 10 hours because he forgot to pay for a $5.29 apple pie (92)
(WTMJ) Silly Another sign gas prices are too high: criminals now committing 'bike-by shootings' (124)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Shop owner says sign advertising "Hidden Pleasures" adult entertainment was not meant to suggest naughty stuff. He's going to sell gourmet foods in a building with few windows (61)
(Philly) PSA It's summer, and Joe Sixpack has a list of the best beers in every style and for every summer activity. Note: For these purposes, Coors Light is not considered beer (240)
(Local6) Florida Jesus appears in tree trunk only at night. When morning comes, he makes like a tree and leaves (with pic goodness) (155)
(Politico) Hero Bob Dole laid a beat down on Scott McClellan yesterday. Yeah, that Bob Dole (680)
(NBC 4 Columbus) Silly High school seniors finally pull off their senior prank 33 years later (104)
(Daily Mail) Stupid British tourist awarded compensation by court because his hotel was full of Germans. No word on whether he mentioned the war (108)
(Some Guy) Followup Crane Collapse Trifecta complete (53)
(Boston Herald) Scary Seven alahm fiah destroys lahndmahk Bahstan lobstah bizniss (136)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious To everyone's complete surprise, stimulus checks fail to spark consumer spending (412)
(CNN) Obvious 111 Countries ban cluster bombs. Guess which country refused sign on (648)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Show your ninja skills. Link goes to GIS (50)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Principal & valedictorian BOTH plagiarize commencement speeches. Dumbass tag asks to be renamed "epic fail" (109)
(The Sun) Strange Homeless Japanese woman lives undetected in stranger's closet for over a year. The Sun is there (148)
(Some Guy) Hero 25 year-old teacher ordered her young student to treat her like a sex slave. Yes Ma'am (w/ hit it like two erasers together pic) (798)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Overwhelmed by patriotism and the sacrifice of our soldiers, Condi Rice joins the army. The Kiss Army (198)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Misc 45 advance to final day of National Spelling Bee. Officials promise to use a few real words this year (68)
(CNN) Spiffy Latest method of beating speed traps is a social network called Trapster, which will be outlawed in 3 . . 2 . . 1 (303)
(BBC) Amusing In praise of the old-school typewriter: "It didn't need power, it didn't need batteries, it didn't need recharging...And have you ever tried to hack into my typewriter? It is very secure." (126)
(AFP) Amusing Indonesian woman accused of bribing a prosecutor handed out boxes of doughnuts at her trial. How outrageous, she should be... ooooh, doughnuts (28)
(CNN) Asinine CNN Money uncovers the biggest story of 1997: online coupon codes (60)
(AFP) Followup Trying to make a teenager wear a "hedgehog helmet" apparently will get you fined for assault. Bonus: "It was not clear if the hedgehog had been dead at the time of the assault." (40)
(Local6) Florida Crane collapse leaves worker trapped under 20 tons of dirt. Crane collapse trifecta in play for the first time in recorded history (49)
(Some Reporter) Obvious Every morning, you should thank your lucky stars that you have Ric Romero to guide you through the confusing world of scrapbooking: "Scrapbooking requires a lot of cutting of fancy cardstock paper with precise cutting tools" (93)
(Some Actress) Caption Caption what Maggie Gyllenhaal is thinking as she digs into some ice cream (177)
(AP) Followup Oil prices continue to freefall, dropping below $126 a barrel on news that... er, (shakes a Magic-8 ball)... um... well damn, nothing makes sense any more, mommy, make it stop, make it stop (297)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Washington intelligence consultants warn that radical Islamists are planning nuke attack on DC, showing a detailed, elaborate computer-constructed image as evidence, or as gamers call it, Fallout 3 graphic (226)
(USA Today) Obvious It takes them a while, but some Americans are starting to learn that maybe, possibly, in a roundabout sort of way, living in a hurricane zone might not be the best idea (194)
(Canoe) Dumbass Stupid: Labatt releases de-alcoholized beer. Worse: It tastes just like Labatt Blue (154)
(Some Buzzed IT Guy) Strange Disregard BC-PA--Online Conman. It BC-PA--Millionaire Swindle, which moved at 8:12 a.m (149)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Neighbors weep and call police after kayaker nets half of beloved local swan family for his waterfowl collection. Turns out swans are free (126)
(Newsday) Scary Two dead as a whopping crane collapses into a New York City apartment building (152)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Nanny State™ has banned firefighters from performing a fire safety demonstration in case it tempts little snowflakes into tackling a fire (88)
(AFP) Interesting Today's "nine-year-old impregnates older female" story comes from Basel, Switzerland. With photo goodness (91)
(Central Florida News 13) Florida The first rule of Prison Fight Club is you do not talk about Prison Fight Club. The second rule of Prison Fight Club is YOU DO NOT TALK ABOUT PRISON FIGHT CLUB (38)
(Jeff Tabor) Photoshop Photoshop this bacterial self portrait (62)
(Orlando Sentinel) Scary Cocktail hats a new way for women to show creativity, instability (82)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy The most fappable headline you will see this week. Bork bork bork (597)
(San Luis Obispo Tribune) Stupid Two men are in a mire after crotch was set on fire (27)
(Reuters) Spiffy A seemingly cunning solution to smuggling items past pesky border patrols: a crossbow and zipwire (21)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Celebrities and their Muppet doppelgangers (with Amy Winehouse as Animal goodness) (92)
(Some Guy) Florida When performing a cardiac catheterization, make sure that you have the right patient (20)
(Some Guy) Sappy Ugly-ass orphaned baby bunnies adopted by ugly-ass spaniel (With awwwww inspiring video goodness) (46)
(Live Science) Interesting Archaeologists exploring an old military road in the Sinai have unearthed 3,000-year-old remains from an ancient fortified city, the largest ever found in Egypt and presumably Jewish (85)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Do not try to motorboat Charlotte Church (197)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Spiffy Minneapolis bar allows canines and their owners to drink together on "Beer With Your Buddy" night. Your dog wants a Sam Adams (48)
(Some "White Art" Pamphlet) Strange Of course you love bacon, but have you ever wondered what to do with all that fat? Have you considered sculpting it into lovely artwork? This pamphlet will show you how (24)
(AP) Strange Officials aren't sure why 50 people attending a sci-fi convention got sick, but they think it could be the alien babies implanted in their stomachs or the Rage Virus (71)
(Boston Globe) Scary I know crazy sex is the best sex, but if you pick up a hitchhiker on the side of the road who claims to talk to the devil - DO NOT HAVE SEX WITH HER (130)
(Cracked) Amusing The 6 Most Badass Stunts Ever Pulled in the Name of Science (some not safe for work language) (98)
(Cracked) Cool Looking for a unique way to advertise your business? Here are 20 business card designs that customers will never, ever forget (47)
(Plano Star) Amusing Quick, call the police and evacuate everyone, it's a weapon of mass... no wait it's just deodorant (34)
(SMH) Dumbass KKKK - the extra 'K' is for 'Kiwi' (89)

Thu May 29, 2008
(Bangor Daily News) Silly Bumps turn into blows as members of a historical society get into a heated fight over rare town photographs (33)
(CBS Sacramento) Amusing If you're going to make counterfeit money, make sure you don't give it to your kids to buy school lunch (47)
(Des Moines Register) Amusing Your dog wants his drugs back (25)
(Denver Channel) Amusing Thonged-masked men rob gas station, make get away with very little chaffing (with pics) (58)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this quaint Canadian couple (87)
(Some Guy) Interesting Public high school principal requires students to attend Mass at Catholic Church in order to recieve degree (340)
(The Sun) Interesting "Uncontacted tribe" spotted in South America. Quick someone toss an empty coke bottle out the window (209)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Would-be theives leave nasty note "(Expletive) you and your safe" (55)
(AP) Sad My mind is a raging torrent, flooded with rivulets of sorrow cascading into a waterfall of tears. Harvey Korman has passed away, at the age of 81 (367)
(YouTube) Wheaton Oil surges to $200 a barrel as Wil's episode of "Gorgeous Tiny Chicken Machine Show" is released (89)
(Newsweek) Cool Native Americans are taking back the land that was once theirs. Your gambling money at work (286)
(KVUE.com) Spiffy Eighth grader finds 100-year-old beer, has a better bar story than you ever will (48)
(CNN) Asinine Renter: "I'm being evicted, because you haven't paid the mortgage. Where's the $30k in rent I paid you since August, and the $7,700 deposit I paid?" Landlord: "That's none of your business" (317)
(AP) Weird Man arrested for spraying salt water on woman's shoes, but the real story is the mugshot (107)
(CBS Salt Lake City) News Polygamists 2, Texas 0 (279)
(Baltimore Sun) Stupid It's hard to know what to tackle first in a city with 300 murders per year, high teen pregnancy rates, rampant heroin use and the world's most stabby football team. Baltimore's mayor chooses... *facepalm* (139)
(NWCN) Amusing Olympia man in dress threatens random high school students with taser. "It looked pretty ridiculous, I'm not going to lie" (29)
(Deceiver) Amusing British soap star wears leather coat to anti-fur PETA photo shoot. Some animals are more "equal" than others (115)
(AP) Interesting Soldiers in Iraq are complaining that their bullets aren't killing people dead enough (282)
(News.com.au) Asinine Since two-year-old children are naturally calm and attentive, the playful and unruly ones are starting to receive ADHD drugs (164)
(AP) Obvious El español es la lengua primaria de Miami. Caliente (213)
(Metro) Dumbass The British guy who bet his friends that he could swim 3 miles across a busy shipping lane in Venice and almost drowned? Yeah, he was drunk (26)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass If you have stupidly advertised your 16th birthday party on Facebook, you probably deserve to have your £4m villa trashed by 400 gatecrashers (102)
(BBC) Stupid Can you mooch your way through an entire day? It's not news, it's the BBC (24)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Because it is fun to make up numbers while waiting for your flight, researchers claim that airline delays cost the travel industry more than $26,000,000,000 (24)
(AP) Sad Army base in Texas raises its drinking age to 21. In other news, before May 22nd, you only had to be 18 (109)
(C|Net) Amusing Comcast H@x0R3D by tH3 P1g5 (115)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Because the War on Drugs has been such a raging success, Florida makes possession of Salvia Divinorum a felony good for five years in prison. Despite no evidence of a problem (295)
(Yahoo) Interesting EU court to take up the difficult question of our times "are chimps human?" (224)
(Canoe) Strange What better choice for a talk show host than someone who's been held captive in an underground cell for 8 ½ years? (95)
(Missoulian) Sad High gas prices driving more people to trade their pride, dignity and manhood for scooters and the delusions that accompany them: "There are only a few people with the mopeds. People respect us" (409)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Northwestern U. seniors say that the mayor of the third-largest city in the U.S. isn't "big" enough to be commencement speaker; should start getting used to third place when appplying for same jobs as Harvard and Yale grads (128)
(Guardian.com) Cool Not news: The best campsites in the UK. Fark.com: Ranked by their nearby pubs... from tap to tent in 20 steps (25)
(WTAM) Hero High school says two active-duty military students can't wear dress blues to graduation. Students tell school to suck it (403)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Study shows that foul language is the worst breach of all office manners. Well, godd*mn, that's just farked up (303)
(SeattlePI) Sad People are getting so fat, air ambulances are requesting the dimensions of patients before they approve pickup. Have another double cheeseburger, America (252)
(Fox News) Silly Hedge fund manager likes to shout "Woo-woo" or "Great song" or "Good burn" when he works out. Another guy in the gym doesn't like it and knocks "woo-hoo" boy off his bike and now they're in court (233)
(Daily Mail) Strange 652 people try to break world's record for biggest game of Twister. In related news, there's a world's record for biggest game of Twister (30)
(Houston Chronicle) Stupid Houston is prepared to spend $150,000 to make sure the cops don't get to grow beards (97)
(AP) News Iceland rocked by 6.1 magnitude earthquake. Björk. Björk. Björk (240)
(Detroit News) Scary Helicopter crashes, explodes into Grand Rapids hospital (142)
(CNN) Interesting NY governor recognizes gay marriages in other states, bright lights and some large objects (201)
(Rocky Mountain News) Unlikely UFO enthusiast will air video of actual alien that proves they exist. Because in the era of CGI when people can make their own movies on their home computer, you just can't fake an alien video (202)
(Washington Post) Amusing Bought-out not fired journalist leaves his legacy in his last column. (Hint: read the first letter of each paragraph) (152)
(Telegraph) Interesting Tefal introduces new toaster that also poaches an egg, warms up bacon. Due to lack of belief chip for Silicon Heaven, your chirpy breakfast time companion will only answer fairly bready questions, however (93)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this model train (60)
(Slate) Scary New York to build a fleet of ambulances dedicated to organ harvesting. Ambulances took a little longer than expected because it was difficult to outfit each one with an ice-filled bathtub (96)
(Some Guy) Obvious That 47-year-old female substitute teacher guilty of molesting a 14-year-old girl and throwing all night drinking parties at her house with her students won't see a day of jail (186)
($4 Bucks a Gallon) Obvious High school students mad about gas prices walk to school in protest. Wait until they buy their own car (238)
(Local6) Florida 101-year-old driver gets driver's license renewed until 2011 (with pic goodness) (151)
(Reuters) Scary China's "quake lakes" that formed after the earthquake are now filling up with rain water and deadly chemicals and about to overflow. Throw in some sharks, laser beams, and Keanu Reeves, and we got us a blockbuster (97)
(CBS Miami) Scary The first tropical storm of the season has formed and of course, nobody is prepared. EVERYBODY PANIC (61)
(Daily Mail) Amusing What does a 20-year-old gang "general" buy with his drug earnings? A 42-inch plasma TV, two expensive bikes, an Xbox, a PlayStation, and more shoes than Imelda Marcos (216)
(New York Daily News) Followup White House: Scott McClellan, Scott McClellan, Scott McClellan? Never heard of him. You say he worked here? Anyway, why would we ever hire a left wing, liberal wack job? (475)
(Bangor Daily News) PSA When dumping your trash in someone else's yard, it's best to remove the court summons from the bag first (35)
(Metro) Dumbass Don't like the judge who will be presiding over your trial? Just threaten to kill him and then claim he's biased (24)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Dehydrated tomatoes show promise for preventing prostate cancer. If you've ever looked closely at a dehydrated tomato, you'll understand how it could scare a prostate into behaving itself (68)
(Bangor Daily News) Spiffy A woman's dying wish was that her family could move from their old, ratty trailer and have a nice home. Local community, "Sure, we can do that." There's something in my eye (233)
(BBC) Interesting Scientists thrilled to capture footage of world's rarest rhino, are dismayed to discover shortly thereafter that it's related to Sean Penn (53)
(TBO) Florida "A man biking under an Interstate 4 overpass saw something he didn't expect early this morning: A car flying over his head" (62)
(Chicago Tribune) Caption Caption the president showing this Air Force Academy grad who's boss (132)
(The Sun) Asinine Woman, 59, has IVF twins with 72-year-old man. Couple then abandons twins at hospital because they weren't boys; ask how soon they can try IVF again. The Sons aren't there (211)
(tch.edu archives) Photoshop Photoshop this simpler time when even smiles cost too much (86)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Dumbass A woman has to be rescued by firefighters after she got her finger stuck in bed (36)
(Some Guy) Scary Only in the South can a neighbor's dog get in a fight with the bride and groom's dog at an outdoor wedding and everything ends with several people being shot (97)
(Some Guy) Amusing John Travolta can blame "Battlefield Earth" for one more thing: Getting his name on the Drew Peterson witness list (38)
(Post-Gazette) Dumbass Man builds rolling, thieving, gas-siphoning machine. Ideas like diesel be hard to follow (43)
(Telegraph) Cool Charlie don't surf but this hippo does. Loves the smell of napalm in the morning, too (26)
(KARE 11) Dumbass High school seniors film themselves destroying school property, spray-painting walls, cause $10,000 in damage so they could get on MTV's "High School Stories" (87)
(CBS News) Sad "Mom, what's for dinner?" "Spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, baked beans, spam, spam, spam and spam" (189)
(Kansas City) Asinine Skipping right over "Not news" and "News" to "Fark": Missouri town forbids unmarried couple to move into their house (348)
(News.com.au) PSA The bad news: Thieves have started stealing GPS units from cars. The good news: They're pretty easy to track down (94)
(Dallas News) Stupid Student with 5.89 GPA denied valedictorian because she finished in 3 years, not 4 (405)
(AZCentral) Amusing Yearbook photos alarm parents, who weren't expecting pictures of lesbians, tattoos, piercing... wait, what was that first one? (154)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 160: "A Moment of Reflection." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (168)

Wed May 28, 2008
(AP) Sad Woman on iron lung dies during power outage. Arthur Digby Sellers unable to comment (174)
(WPXI) Asinine If you're going to drive around with 278 bricks of heroin in your purse, at least close it when the cops pull you over (57)
(AZCentral) Scary Two commuter trains in Boston collide and derail. Train Tragedy Trifecta (TTT) in play (80)
(Daily Herald) Dumbass Not news: High school principal gives a commemorative speech to seniors. News: The speech was plagiarized from a former student. Fark.com: The former student is a current faculty member (59)
(My Fox Orlando) Florida Florida Church offering Gas from God for $3.30 (93)
(Philly) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Where did I put my keys? (77)
(CBS 46) Misc Georgia town hoping to set Guinness World Record for "Most Scarecrows in One Location." In other news, there's a world record for having the most scarecrows (49)
(Some Guy) Stupid Clapping and cheering now banned at local lacrosse game to reduce stress (90)
(Denver Post) Amusing The president celebrates with Air Force grads by "bumping chests." With pic goodness (557)
(Buffalo News) Stupid To discourage teens from loitering, town picks up and stores all the benches on main street. "We're trying to interrupt their comfort zone. It's a temporary measure" (84)
(The Sun) Sad It's official: Britain more dangerous than Iraq. By one who was there. With lots of horror story links (194)
(CNN) Hero Nepal abolishes monarchy, informs king Gyanendra and his family that they have 15 days to GTFO: Canadian submitter stares at the Queen of England on his $20 bill, feels bitter and envious (239)
(Fox News) Spiffy USS Kitty Hawk leaves Japan en route to be decommissioned. No word if ragtag team of officers will hijack ship and use it for some wacky adventure (192)
(Some Guy) Asinine Drug dealer being let out of prison early for turning his life around and being a model prisoner. Just kidding, they're letting him go because he's too fat for jail furniture (92)
(News.com.au) Scary Get these motherfarking snakes off my motherfarking penis (60)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Don't like your HOA rules? Some condos ban visitors after 11pm and won't sell or lease property "to any person or entity that may be described as being part of the Yankee race." (220)
(CNN) Obvious Differences between men and women: Women cry out "Spoon!" and think of cuddling, where as men want to watch "The Tick" (188)
(Houston Chronicle) Ironic Not news: Qatar wants to create a better high school; News: So they hire a US principal to create the school to the high standards of her current magnet school; FARK: Principal doesn't know where Qatar is (92)
(wmur.com) Dumbass If you're going to go tanning with your best friend, there are better places to do it than active railroad tracks (100)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass Kids in Tracy, Calif. arrested for throwing 1,500 eggs at cars (121)
(AP) Stupid Bush says America must not lose its "nerve" in Iraq; because having lost our moral standing, international credibility, budget surplus, and way in Iraq already, it'd be a shame if we lost that too (777)
(Time) Obvious Gasoline averages almost $9 a gallon in Europe, with diesel costing even more. Condescending attitude toward America is still free (325)
(AP) Stupid The Czech Republic's soccer federation was prepared. The Latvian flag was shown in the program and the Latvian anthem was played before the match. Unfortunately they were playing Lithuania at the time (69)
(London Times) Scary China has invited the Japanese military onto its soil for the first time since the Second World War to assist with the quake lakes. Not that they were actually invited last time (154)
(SeattlePI) Scary State has no lawful authority to deny concealed weapon permits to schizophrenics. What could possibly go wrong? (With "when hippies attack" pic) (292)
(Reuters) Sad Leaning tower of Pisa said to be able to keep it up for another 300 years then to go flaccid on us (61)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Create propaganda for Fark (link goes to inspirations) (98)
(Some Guy) Followup Remember the 10-year-old boy who talked his way onto an airplane and flew to Texas? He nearly did it again, getting past airport "security" and onto the concourse (170)
(The Atlantic) PSA If Scott McClellan's charges against Bush are true, it is the duty of Congress to impeach him (1240)
(WHDH) Stupid Man's life-long dream to visit Graceland nearly derailed after losing his driver's license right before the trip, resulting in horribly pun-filled story (47)
(Baltimore Sun) Unlikely Jenna Bush may become a teacher in the Baltimore City inner-city public school system. Easy coke access (160)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Maryland cop has his law-enforcement powers suspended after driving drunk, leading officers on a chase, and crashing his Harley-Davidson.... all after cops told him not to drive when they saw him at the bar an hour earlier (40)
(Politico) Asinine If you're fighting Obama for the nomination, it may not be a good idea to quote polls from the prince of darkness in your letter to superdelegates (433)
(AZCentral) Sad Ewan McGregor has officially ruled out starring in "Porno," the follow-up to "Trainspotting." Because we all know an actor of his caliber would never star in a series of substandard knockoff sequels just for a paycheck (135)
(IFC) Interesting Come for the porn, stay for the plot. (Sponsored Link) (Some NSFW content) (104)
(NYPost) Dumbass New York City lawyer sues Delta for $1 million because he experienced the same travelling nightmares that every other ordinary person does everyday. Bonus: his flights were free to begin with (204)
(MLive) Strange People don't normally break into 10th floor apartments through the balcony. Also, they're usually not naked (41)
(UPI) Dumbass "This is the Texas fire department. We're just grabbing some burgers and we're on the way, so don't die on us" (90)
(Some Guy) Scary 84% of grade 10 students pass literacy test. In other words, 1 in 6 hope to go in to editting [Note: Editor will not edit this] (102)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass High school employee arrested for being drunk on field trip. The real crime: Mixing vodka and margarita mix (56)
(MSNBC) Spiffy Taser may have changed this man's heart pattern, which for once wasn't a bad thing (49)
(Daily Mail) Strange Phase 1: Turn spare bedroom into Hindu temple. Phase 2: ? Phase 3: Profit (35)
(The Local (Sweden)) Weird Woman rapes man. Man says he was scared stiff when she performed forcible oral sex on him (753)
(Newsday) Obvious JFK Airport to assassinate feral cat population (100)
(NHRegister.com) Interesting Town to fight illegal ATV use with cops on ATVs. Officers reportedly anxious to sign up for town's new plan to fight underage drinking and sex (152)
(Stuff) Dumbass Thieves steal fish dosed with chlorine, estrogen and peroxide from aquaculture research center. Police said to be looking for two men of medium height with blond hair, white teeth and awesome breasts (43)
(Some Guy) Scary If the railroad crossing lights are flashing, you shouldn't try to go around. This is especially true if you drive a school bus (92)
(AP) Strange Not news: Man robs 7-11. News: Convinces clerk he's a new hire and gets trained on the register. Fark: Helps customers? (58)
(AP) Unlikely Ex-SEAL trainee seeks to overturn murder conviction, says prayer for the dying, hopes for a kiss from a rose (69)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Bear takes a midnight swim in the Hard Rock Hotel pool, forgets room key (62)
(YouTube) Video Usually, stupid criminals do themselves in through hubris and poor planning. And then, there's just plain Wile E. Coyote-style astronomically bad luck (119)
(The Sun) Asinine Everyone's favorite Nanny State wants college graduates to stop throwing their caps in the air for fear of injury (108)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this alleyway (49)
(Yahoo) Interesting Good news, pinko comrades. New improved "green bombs" are environmentally friendly. Our enemies will die an organic, carbon-neutral death that benefits the children of the rainforest (62)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy Dad buys his daughter a new car after she attended every single day of school from kindergarten through 12th grade. It was a Pontiac, though, so it's sort of sending a mixed message (233)
(Metro) Amusing God bless the Metro photo captioners, masters of the written art of sarcasm (unrelated NSFW bare bum in sidebar) (32)
(Telegraph) Amusing Among the lost property found on the London Tube last year: A stuffed puffer fish, a harpoon gun, a pair of breast implants and a bag containing two human skulls. That must have been one hell of a party (33)
(TBO) Florida Woman skips "talk to the hand" option, chooses "talk to the brick" (with mugshot) (54)
(Reuters) Strange Man fails to obtain stiffness while meeting up with an old girlfriend (17)
(AP) Unlikely McCain sees plusses to appearing with Bush. Looking better by comparison suspiciously absent from list (79)
(AFP) Stupid Not news: Twins separated at birth. News: They're suing hospital where they were born. Fark: Woman who thought she was one of those twins also suing (57)
(SFGate) Obvious Amtrak train trashes trash truck. Trailing train off track. Train on trash truck. Trash on train. Trash truck truckers in traction. Trainers in traction too. Subby trashed (69)
(Flickr) Sad Two kinds of goodbyes (701)
(WINK News) Florida Looking for that perfect art piece to hang over your fireplace? Why not buy a classic work by Stabby McKillyou from the Florida Death Row Gallery (35)
(AP) Scary It's starting to look like those FEMA trailers given to Katrina victims are the smallpox blankets of our times (287)
(Kansas City) Weird Homeless man behind bars for attacking elderly man with Moon Pies. RC what you did there (67)
(KSDK) Interesting Southern Baptist library worker refuses to work at Harry Potter promotional event, and is forced to quit. ACLU suing on her behalf, but that won't stop some folks from claiming they're out to destroy religion (246)
(Boston Globe) Followup Michelle Malkin claims victory as Dunkin' Donuts pulls ad featuring well known terrorist sympathizer Rachael Ray (521)
(Fox News) Cool Jupiter grows a third red spot due to Jovian warming (92)
(Toronto Star) Stupid Toronto's mayor on target shooting: "Nobody can deny that hobby directly results in people being shot and killed on the streets of our city" (369)
(CBS New York) Strange Brooklyn high school suffering major attendance problem because high school students are afraid of being bullied by middle school kids (35)
(Something Awful) Amusing Awful license plates... KTHXBAI (262)

Tue May 27, 2008
(WWL) Unlikely New Orleans officials concerned that some residents might not evacuate for the next big hurricane because of high gas prices (95)
(WFTV) Florida Man accused of killing girlfriend because she wanted to work as a stripper decides to strip down himself during his police interrogation. [w/video thankfully blurred] (27)
(Charlotte) Obvious Savvy American consumers spend economic stimulus checks wisely. Just kidding, they spend the extra cash on whiskey and cigarettes (184)
(YouTube) Followup The "Iron My Shirt" DJs continue to insist Hillary wash their undees (51)
(The Atlantic) Followup Obama's grandpa did see a concentration camp, just not Auschwitz. Don't worry though GOP, his middle name is still Hussein (739)
(Some KMOXer) Plug Drew will guest on the Jon Grayson show on 1120 KMOX in St. Louis tonight at 11:15 Central (26)
(London Times) Interesting Cypriot owner of Flintstones-themed bar trashed by partying British soldiers sues for $8 million. Mr Slate furious, asks Ann-Margrock to hold benefit concert (44)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Today's "nude and drunk 18-year-old female pot dealer involved in one-car crash" story brought to you by Fort Pierce (73)
(London Times) Spiffy 2,500 year-old gold cup worth $200,000 found in box under bed. Heh. They're always in the last place you look (82)
(Google) Amusing Phase 1: Send panties to Myanmar embassy. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Raise money for cyclone survivors (43)
(Anorak) Weird Pigeon purloining penises panics populace (35)
(myTelus) Amusing Several conservative politicians turn up on the RSVP list for a screening of the new Canadian film "Young People F**king" hilarity ensues (110)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: create an interesting scene using a default Windows desktop background (154)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Two drunk Navy sailors hail cab, offer to drive, take cabbie on a reckless joyride, go on a beer run, watch the cabbie escape, then torch the cab. Ta-da (115)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass People who watch a lot of reality TV mimic the behavior they see on the shows and try to become celebrities on Facebook and other social-networking Web sites (86)
(NPR) Interesting Today's "well, how about that" headline comes from Afghanistan, where food prices are so high that farmers are moving out of the drug trade and into wheat (110)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Woman jailed for "blasting out Madonna tracks around the clock". Lucky for her Britain doesn't have the death penalty (53)
(Seacoastonline.com) Unlikely Man places ad in newspaper offering $5,000 for a wife, is sure to have a bevy of good looking young women lining up for this fantastic deal (223)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing How do you find your old classmates for a Bible school reunion? Apparently, looking in the paper under "Recent Prostitution Arrests" can be helpful (84)
(Colorado Springs Gazette) Asinine Finally, we know why feds can't afford to treat wounded vets: They're paying for more important things, like improved shuttle bus service at rural casinos. Your soldier wants a buffet coupon (83)
(WKYC) Amusing Just as the Cleveland Indians season is prounced dead minor league affiliate Captains unveil all expenses paid funeral promotion (59)
(Slate) Silly Christopher Hitchens on the most pressing crisis of our time: waiters who insist on pouring your wine for you. It's enough to drive a man to religion (247)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Today's "woman attacks her 93-year-old neighbor with a vacuum cleaner and steals money from her purse" story brought to you by Cincinnatti, Ohio (130)
(Des Moines Register) Spiffy More than 1,000 civilians lined up in the rain to taste Army-issued bug juice (133)
(WSRZ.COM) Florida Florida students rank above national average in math and reading. Nice try Florida, but you're still not getting your tag removed (74)
(Some Guy) Interesting A fascinating examination of the current debate within Al Qaeda over the use of violence. Warning: It's from the New Yorker; so you'll be reading for a while (105)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Look at all that scrap metal, just sitting along the railroad tracks, all mine for the taking. Hey, what's that sou-- (92)
(Reuters) Interesting Church calls zombie parade blasphemous because they already had an Easter parade over a month ago (219)
(WTMJ) Amusing People in home near Milwaukee shocked to wake up this morning and find police had been in a standoff with them all night (121)
(Reuters) Obvious April new home sales down 42% year-over-year, a 27-year record. March numbers were revised down by 17,000. Guess what the headline says? (229)
(Some Guy) Interesting Video games activate reward regions of brain in men more than women, Stanford study finds (154)
(CBS News) Strange Obama claims uncle helped liberate Auschwitz. History books claim Red Army did that (1222)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Al Gore misses his chance at millions: "Carbon cards" are the new stupid hawtness (143)
(London Times) Interesting China shows usual tact and care in their official guide to assistants for disabled Olympic visitors. And by tact, I mean calling disabled people "unsocial, stubborn and defensive" (113)
(CNN) Interesting Department of Transportation: March had the steepest decrease in driving ever recorded (242)
(efluxmedia.com) Interesting Red Cross to offer free gas for those who donate blood. What could possibly go wrong? (59)
(WCBS 880) Strange Light pole gets tired of dogs peeing on it. Your dog wants a defibrillator (52)
(Great Falls Tribune) Dumbass The odds of two drunk drivers crashing into each other, resulting in them both being cited for DUIs (her first, his seventh)? About certain when you live in Great Falls, Montana (44)
(CBS News) Interesting So an Indian, a Mormon and a homosexual walk into John McCain's ranch... (207)
(nbc11news.com) Obvious "We are significantly less than pleased with the fact that they are having arsons in our back alley. It's just not a good thing at all" (17)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Man calls clerk a lesbian because she didn't like the hot sausage in his pants (72)
(YouTube) Silly Friends posted clip of their baby on YouTube just for ease of sharing. Submitter wants to shock them with a HUGE view count. Asking Fark community for help due to their love of nonsense and messing with things (and it is pretty cute) (294)
(ABC Action News) Florida Man hires nude maid while wife is out of town, gets cleaned out. Only able to describe carpet and curtains to police (100)
(International Herald Tribune) Obvious Britain says strange aircraft are not UFOs even though they are indeed unidentified objects that appear to be flying (38)
(CNN) Stupid Tips on ending friendships. It's not news, it's CNN (140)
(MSNBC) Scary I see a little resurgence-o of Putin. Belarus Belarus (63)
(Some Church Fan) Cool New Red vs. Blue video released -- First in... well, too damn long. "My name is Michael J. Caboose, and I hate babies." (68)
(Cracked) Amusing Eight terms your doctor uses to insult you without insulting you (118)
(The Local.de) Hero Germany's oldest man and last WWI veteran dies at age 107, apparently of terminal flatulence and a broken leg. Curse you, sauerkraut (84)
(Breitbart.com) Amusing Officer responding to break-in nabs dead turkey (17)
(Local6) Silly Ghosts for sale in Florida (with pic) (116)
(The Scotsman) Amusing Improper use of internets technology: Website teaching people how to play the bagpipes (85)
(WRAL) Amusing Actual headline: Two men sit and wave all day (41)
(The Newspaper) Interesting Private judges hearing parking ticket appeals in California are no longer allowed to get bonuses for meeting their guilty quota (46)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this seed technician (39)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Unlikely Newsflash: web surfers no longer interested in naked ladies (149)
(WRAL) Interesting Wake Forest University drops SAT/ACT requirement, orders new trophy cases for football and basketball teams (98)
(CNN) Sick Good news, the "vast majority" of U.N. aid workers are not involved in any form of child abuse or sexual exploitation in exchange for aid. But some of 'em... well -- the tag says it all (85)
(New York Daily News) Strange In an effort to attract that all important cat demographic, FAO Schwarz adds live mice to their window display (17)
(USA TOMORROW) PSA One-millionth story on gas prices alerts reader (35)
(CTV) Followup French skydiver's balloon suffers premature evacuation (61)
(Wired) Spiffy 71 years and more than 1,000 suicides ago today, the dream of Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico was realized (81)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting Landing gear..up and off. Flaps...up. Altimeters....set and x-checked. Rocket on port side....check (53)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Obvious Airports offering music, cots and snacks to irate passengers in hopes that they'll ignore the fact that airports aren't addressing issues causing passengers to be irate in the first place (54)
(Local10) Interesting Celine Dion used 6.5 million gallons of water last year. Holy crap, what would she look like if she were dehydrated? (88)
(Google) Strange Finnish museum is being eaten by squirrels (50)
(BBC) Obvious Jimmy Carter says Israel has 148, 149, 150 nuclear weapons. Aaaah aaaah aaaah (624)
(The Scotsman) Cool Woman headbutted by cow says that saved her life, because it revealed cancer inside her. Dr. Bossie says no thanks are required, but a pail of corn would be nice (44)
(AFP) Cool Japanese brewer Sapporo plans to brew beer with barley from the International Space Station. Mmmmmm, space beer (67)
(NCBuy) Strange House for sale: Nice neighborhood, large bedrooms, walk-in closets, entombed skeleton in the basement (51)
(Telegraph) Weird I'll see your man who really loves cars, and raise you the woman who has been married to the Berlin Wall for 29 years (61)
(Telegraph) Misc Article about how baking together brings families closer brought to you by survey by a baking company. Someone should write a book and include a chapter on "Unpaid Placement Masquerading as Actual Article" (40)
(Metro) Weird Boy bitten in the face by a shark. In his bedroom. A hundred miles away from the sea (71)
(YouTube) Amusing Meet Bob Barr, the 2008 Libertarian Presidential Nominee. Here he is eating Borat's cheese (282)
(AP) Amusing A failing Japanese train company reverses its fortunes by hiring a homeless cat as station master. Hello Kitty (49)
(AP) Weird Wal-Mart: Watch out for falling prices and scorpions (42)
(Yorkshire Evening Post) Unlikely UK teenager does Rubik's Cube in 16 seconds on video. This video is in real time (76)
(News.com.au) Sick Prisoners could be issued with condoms again, even though they were using flavoured condoms to sweeten their milk (37)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this old spinster (33)
(Washington Post) Unlikely "I also find it really cool that I am part of the five percent of the world that is not immune to leprosy" (112)
(News.com.au) Spiffy The science of Star Wars, coming to a boardroom near you. I find you lack of faith disturbing (82)
(Canada.com) Weird Naked man appears at farm, steals pair of overalls, 15-ton truck, threatens to blow up bridge. Then it gets weird (34)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Guy tries to hide pot after being pulled over on jet ski. Should have just told police it was seaweed (35)
(NASA) Cool The coolest pic taken of the final descent of a spacecraft onto a planetary body taken by another spacecraft you'll see all day (157)
(Livenews) Followup Miley Cyrus continues world's longest strip tease (414)
(Daily Mail) Asinine The Nanny State strikes again: Woman is told that she must have insurance and a lifeguard in order to have a children's wading pool in her garden (106)
(LA Times) Sad Director Sydney Pollack dead at 73. Sources say he was changing a light bulb with some of his family members and the house fell on him (85)

Mon May 26, 2008
(Neatorama) Scary Gas prices will reach $6 to $7 per gallon in the next 6 to 24 months (814)
(PhotoSig) Photoshop Photoshop this not-so-modern flower delivery system (48)
(SMH) Dumbass Furious driver tired of being stuck behind a pack of 60 bicycles on the freeway does what the little devils sitting on our shoulders have been telling us to do for years (751)
(London Times) Interesting 18 foot-long exact model of Titanic to be auctioned for estimated $2 million; no word if there is a teeny, tiny naked Kate Winslet on the cargo deck (72)
(Some Guy) Obvious Here's another reason why some products carry insane warning signs like "Attention: this product may contain spiders, flies, pig hair or ozelot dandruff." (159)
(Telegraph) Amusing At this moment, an Italian fashion designer is off the coast of France in a floating parallel universe where the senses are assaulted by a frenzy of satiny animal prints, gilt, mahogany, orchids, and Sharon Stone (59)
(Stuff) Obvious Israeli tourist who stripped naked in public after being wolf-whistled, now sent to mental hospital - after stubbing out cigarette in a bar-workers face. Obvious tag trumps followup, crazy (76)
(CNN) Obvious CNN channels Romero to let us know holiday travelers are paying more for gasoline (79)
(NPR) Hero French volunteer organization adopts American military graves for families that are unable to visit thus proving that the French don't hate America all the time (197)
(Stuff) Dumbass You reach a toll plaza and realize you don't have any money. Do you c) Turn around the other way and drive 5 miles into oncoming traffic? If you're drunk, hell yes you do (100)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Today's fear-mongering headline claims 6-year-old girl "attacked at beach" by jellyfish (130)
(Game Politics) Asinine Not News: Police respond to a complaint from a man who has received harassing phone calls. News: Police spot gunman in house and the SWAT team is called in. Fark: The "gunman" was a life-sized statue of Lara Croft (47)
(YouTube) Cool The coolest Super Mario World level set to music you will ever see (186)
(Canoe) Asinine And the Winner of the first city to experience an actual GTA IV-style carjacking spree (complete with passengers taken hostage) is... Calgary, Canada T-minus 20 mins and counting for Joe Lieberman blast off (103)
(Houston Chronicle) Hero Bush gives permission for Ellen DeGeneres to marry Portia de Rossi at the Crawford Ranch (261)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting The history of a monument that was a lot more controversial than you would imagine: The Lincoln Memorial (340)
(Gothamist) Weird Kickball pirate arrested for bringing sword to Macy's, claims he was just looking for a new Arrrrrrrmani suit (20)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this goalkeeper (48)
(Washington Times) Hero Never Forget. On-line, searchable and interactive; The Vietnam War Memorial (95)
(Jerusalem Post) Unlikely The Holocaust was "scientifically impossible," according to Iranian government TV and some dude who's an "expert" on astrology and crop circles. If you can't believe them, who can you believe? (728)
(Telegraph) Strange Not news: the real-life inspiration for Indiana Jones did indeed quest for the Holy Grail. News: He did it as an agent of the SS. Fark: He was gay (146)
(AP) Hero Well, it's Memorial Day -- let's honor the last known American-born WWI vet. He's 107-years-old and lied his way into the army when he was 16 so you and I could be born (119)
(Hartford Courant) Sappy Equine dentist and the World's smallest therapy horse. Awwww (18)
(Daily Mail) Cool The most dizzying portraits of famous people made entirely of bar codes you will see today (62)
(New York Daily News) Strange Old & busted: Cruise ship hitting an iceberg. New hotness: Cruise ship hitting a parking garage (40)
(London Times) Misc Scots erect reverse 'Hadrian's Wall' to thwart the invasion of ballsy American squirrels, who have already conquered England (43)
(Some English) Obvious Amish told having an outhouse on school grounds illegal. That stinks (58)
(Canoe) Spiffy News: Canada's foreign minister's ex-girlfriend had ties to biker gangs. Fark: She's smoking hot (pics) (134)
(Stuff) Obvious Eating five to six smaller meals a day won't help weight loss. Captain Obvious never gets a day off (112)
(Greeley Tribune) Misc Did a lazy DOT crew really paint over roadkill? Finally, one reporter dared ask the question instead of clicking "forward" like the rest of us (113)
(New York Daily News) Scary Hamptons Police: No you can't has wine and cheese at your party, not yours, but these shiny bracelets totally go with that Prada dress. (w/ great arrest pic) (197)
(Get busy livin') Spiffy 81 year old fugitive back in jail. It seemed he doubted that Maryland would toss up any roadblocks for an old crook like him (47)
(Daily Record (UK)) Cool The new Aberdeen bypass will include a 375 foot long bridge for squirrels (41)
(Daily Mail) Strange Quarter of Britons suffer so badly from poor-quality sleep that they are forced to take days off work because of exhaustion (37)
(Reuters) Strange Japanese man arrested for calling a food company's toll-free number 500 times in 16 months because he wanted to hear the woman's voice on the automated tape (66)
(News Channel 9) Dumbass When your company is being investigated by a local news station, do you a) tell them "no comment", b) tell them to get off your property, or c) fire at the news crew with your BB gun? (41)
(Some Guy) Scary Med schools, running short of dead bodies for students to study, look for ways to increase donations. "Golly, I could have done that with Mom and Dad." Once they're passed on their own, of course (60)
(News.com.au) Obvious Government funded kid show depicts "average Australians as massive overweight ugly pigs, oozing slime from their mouths, and then to have these pigs blow up in a mass of blood and guts" (67)
(WRAL) Hero Vegas casino billionaire flies 40 wounded soldiers to Vegas on his private jet, and acommodate them in various penthouses... What could go right? (100)
(Wikipedia) Hero On this Memorial Day, thank you to all the military men and women who gave. Let's all drink one for those who never made it back (374)
(Seattle Times) Sad The original Mr. Potato Head is dead (43)
(News.com.au) Amusing If you took home the drugs that airport security use to train their sniffer dogs the Japanese Customs Department would like a word (32)
(News.com.au) Scary What do cocaine, meth, moonshine, speed, hitmen and fish have in common? (53)
(Denver Post) Obvious Miller beer leaving Wisconsin? "That's bad for Milwaukee," say beer drinkers. "We've seen Blatz, Pabst and Schlitz go away. We can't take another hit." Because we all remember the Blatz riots when they left (88)
(AP) Unlikely Animal-rights group think they're going to change the world by offering brat fans tofu brats. At the Madison, Wisconsin Brat Fest (144)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Improve this classic painting (79)
(CBC) Obvious News: Doctor accused of sexually assaulting a patient. Fark: Doctor's name is Poon, assault occurred on Valentine's day and in a town that rhymes with vagina (62)
(Michelle Malkin) Stupid If it's Sunday, Michelle Malkin must be leading another boycott. This time it's... spins the wheel ...Subway for excluding homeschoolers from an essay contest (242)
(The Sun) Interesting The Sun explains: Phases of the Moob. With explanatory pix (SFW; eyebleach optional) (50)
(Fox News) Dumbass Couple loses custody of 7-month-old son after posting him on eBay. Try to guess whether it happened in Florida or Germany before reading article (61)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious 30 years of failure, also known as the War On Drugs (235)
(WPVI) Scary Your boyfriend took another girl to the prom. Do you c) burn his house down? (109)
(BBC) Weird The strangest picture of a comically dressed Spaniard jumping over babies you'll see this week (63)
(Gizmodo) Strange Slime, from your childhood, is back. Now with sexual overtones (114)