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Sun October 19, 2008
(Daily Star) Ironic Nanny state blows $300,000 on a helpline for Cherokee speakers even though nobody in the entire country speaks Cherokee  T-Shirt (10)
(Major League Baseball) Interesting Tampa Bay Rays will officially bring more cowbell to the World Series  T-Shirt (76)
(Portland Tribune) Amusing Safeway clerk Sarah Palen not amused that strangers keep harassing her all the time about her name. Just kidding, she's quite amused: "I don't know why I'm working at Safeway"  T-Shirt (35)
(Some Guy) Unlikely His partner's name is what?  T-Shirt (64)
(Some Guy) Weird Switzerland places ban on the humiliation of plants. Wait...What?  T-Shirt (125)
(NYPost) Spiffy For $799 a night, two guests inside the Guggenheim Museum can privately sleep in a luxury double bed with a wet bar mounted on one of four revolving glass discs that makes a complete rotation every two hours (70)
(The Sun) Photoshop Photoshop something more positive for this stock trader to do (71)
(CSMonitor) Interesting Is there a tinfoil hat big enough for the Christian Science Monitor? Conspiracy theorists heard chuckling in the background  T-Shirt (156)
(Boston Globe) Interesting An interview with the woman who is editing the updated edition of "The Joy of Sex", which will include illustrations of people actually enjoying themselves  T-Shirt (143)
(Guardian.com) Interesting UK survey identifies most likely causes of death according to location. Apparently most people killed while surfing the net were aaarghhh my chest someone help me I can't brea  T-Shirt (42)
(Telegraph) Obvious Parents upset by plans to update the scout's motto of "Be Prepared" to include condoms  T-Shirt (83)
(Abc.net.au) Scary Tanzanian albinos stage protest to shed light on murders commited by witch doctors, ooo eee ooo ah ah ting tang, walla walla bing bang  T-Shirt (90)
(Some Guy) Obvious Fark challenged police arrest 89 year old woman after she takes neighbor kid's football THAT WAS IN HER YARD. Don't the cops know old people HATE kids in their yard?  T-Shirt (224)
(AP) Sad Fish eggs, fish eggs, roly-poly fish eggs, fish eggs, fish eggs, power plant CHUM  T-Shirt (79)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this smiling shoe shifter (57)
(Yahoo) Spiffy And now a thread just for the powderheads on Fark  T-Shirt (110)
(Yahoo) Interesting The ten main reasons you should not skimp on sleep, even if clowns ARE going to eat you  T-Shirt (104)
(ABC News) Obvious Are you ready for the annual collection of "flu season is here, EVERYBODY PANIC" articles? Too bad, because they're starting already  T-Shirt (42)
(YouTube) Cool Tampopo is still the best noodle and food movie ever made  T-Shirt (88)
(Yahoo) Interesting Men's reactions peak...ow, my balls...at age 39  T-Shirt (58)
(Newsweek) NewsFlash On "Meet the Press", Colin Powell says he will vote for Sen. Obama  T-Shirt (1178)
(UPI) Interesting Study shows drinking a lot of coffee shrinks women's breasts. In related news, hundreds of Starbucks stores are being picketed by bra-hat wearing male activist members of the "Breast Liberation Front." (98)
(BBC) Strange Religious dispute prevents critical repairs on ancient church. From TFA: "A wooden ladder has remained on a ledge just above the main entrance since the 19th Century - because no-one can agree who has the right to take it down." (58)
(Some Guy) Obvious Doughnuts. Truly the food of the gods  T-Shirt (58)
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Advertising blockheads blast Lego over "gender stereotypes" in toy catalog  T-Shirt (113)
(Yahoo) Ironic Karl Marx's "Das Kapital", which railed against capitalism, is selling very well during current economic crisis  T-Shirt (119)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this balancing act (32)
(London Times) Ironic In an effort to hold on to the title of #1 Nanny State, UK government will now require passports to buy cell phones  T-Shirt (78)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Sad "Private investigators will no longer need to have sex with prostitutes to gather evidence against illegal brothels."  T-Shirt (40)
(Las Vegas Now) News Abducted 6-year-old Cole Puffinburger found alive  T-Shirt (125)
(Canada.com) Obvious Alberta seen as "a prime location for terrorists" as a bunch of people who dress funny, openly carry guns and don't speak comprehensible English just blends right in in backwaters like Calgary or High Level (88)
(Some Guy) Obvious Stephen Fry on the U.S. South: "I'd rather be curled up in a snowy cabin with a hot whisky or, quite frankly, a Horlicks than I would spend half an hour in this rotting place"  T-Shirt (329)
(AP) Scary Soldiers in the 4th BCT from Fort Carson have racked up five kills in the past fourteen months......and that's just in Colorado  T-Shirt (108)
(Mlive.com) Dumbass Not news: man arrested at car wash. News: for receiving sexual favors. Fark: from a vacuum  T-Shirt (69)
(Canoe) Hero After his partner died to machine gun fire, Leo Major single handedly caused the Germans to surrender a Dutch town. Today, everyone in Zwolle respectfully removed themselves from his lawn (130)
(BBC) Weird Actual Headline: "Jamaica puzzled by theft of beach"  T-Shirt (38)
(The New York Times) Fail Ad placement Fail  T-Shirt (108)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Job candidate sues man who masturbated during interview. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?  T-Shirt (84)
(Some Guy) Cool The toilets with the best views in the world. And they are awesome (pics)  T-Shirt (105)

Sat October 18, 2008
(First Coast News) Florida After getting busted for driving 163 MPH in a 45 MPH zone, possessing cocaine and marijuana, running a red light and driving the wrong way on a one way street, maybe your first words to the cop shouldn't be "I'm drunk" (89)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this octocube (41)
(Some Chick) Dumbass A man chasing a stray cat around his house with a loaded shotgun shoots himself in foot  T-Shirt (42)
(Boston Globe) Amusing Damn, those Brits are classier at everything. Even crime  T-Shirt (19)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Bush beluga foible bamboozles bulbous bouffant blocking blubber mukluks (link fixed)  T-Shirt (87)
(AP) Unlikely There's no limit to what they'll spend on bling, vehicles, and entourages...rappers want to give YOU some sound financial advice  T-Shirt (49)
(MSNBC) Scary Woman with five dead husbands and a dead son is out of jail and back on the market, gentlemen  T-Shirt (49)
(The New Yorker) Cool The New Yorker challenges the webcomic XKCD to a cartoon-off  T-Shirt (213)
(kpho) Asinine Not news: Police officer of thirteen years diagnosed with rare form of blood cancer. News: Applies for medical retirement and receives medical family leave instead. Fark: Fired for using up all his medical leave time (110)
(Salon) Amusing Eyeless two-pound cat fights home burglar, kicks burglar's ass. Burglar retires to life of confusion and shame  T-Shirt (75)
(Fox News) Asinine Rugby game allowed to resume moments after player collapses, dies. Time was called to roll the body off the field before it interfered with play  T-Shirt (113)
(LA Times) Asinine 83 year old grandmother faces jailtime, or a $3,000 fine, because her garage was turned into a bedroom 30 years ago before she bought the house, and she can't afford to convert it back to a garage (194)
(Daily Mail) Sick Changed your Facebook status to single? That's a hacking with a meat cleaver  T-Shirt (106)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Pink Tasers supplant tupperware as the modern women's party product (with scary pic)  T-Shirt (82)
(Some Plumber's Helper) Followup The real Joe the Plumber got a flood of calls on Thursday, but they slowed to a drip by Friday. Today they are tapped out  T-Shirt (98)
(Economist) Interesting Wolves outperform both pet dogs and shelter dogs in intelligence tests. Your stupid dog wants a tutor  T-Shirt (75)
(Yahoo) PSA If you seem to have misplaced your $50,000 camera, this TSA officer has it on eBay for you  T-Shirt (257)
(Telegraph) Interesting I think I'm turning communist, I think I'm turning communist, I really think so  T-Shirt (215)
(ABC News) Interesting Hot chick who stole the identities of family and friends and went on a $100k spending binge with her BF is sentenced to 5 years in bend me over prison. [with "like the angry fist of God" photo goodness] (147)
(Local6) Florida A man fell off of a ladder / You'd think that his head would be split / But good luck was with him that morning / He fell in a big tank of ... Shaving Cream  T-Shirt (71)
(Some Guy) Cool 126 amusing freeze-frame photos  T-Shirt (177)
(Some Guy) Sappy After 20 years, two Chinese Farmers complete their Formula 1 race car replica as a tribute to their late father. Bonus: Its made out of trash  T-Shirt (38)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this secretive model (41)
(The Tennessean) Ironic Guess why the sexual harassment instructor is suing her employer. Take your time, and check the tag first  T-Shirt (112)
(LiveLeak) Followup The cutest video of hissing, growling, vile and hateful little death monsters you'll see today (77)
(Some Guy) Hero Man tells his family he got a Purple Heart in Vietnam. After his death, family is going through discharge papers and finds out that after SIX tours, he earned over 100 medals  T-Shirt (356)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Obvious Qantas forced to censor in-flight internet content as other airlines around the world quickly realize most of the flying public surf for porn  T-Shirt (31)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Today's dope-smoking, drug-taking, student-banging teacher brought to you by Eustis. With mugshot that suggests she'll be doing some time  T-Shirt (48)
(Some Guy) Interesting Baltic States may be in the "danger zone" according to eminent economists, Kenny Loggins  T-Shirt (38)
(Springfield News-Leader) Stupid Man minding his own business can't understand what all the fuss is about. All he did was ride his bike past a school with the barrel of his shotgun sticking out of his bag  T-Shirt (52)
(AJC) Dumbass High-school cheerleaders suspended after performing while drunk. Spectators caught on when the "Let's Go Team" cheer suddenly changed to "Go F*ck Yourself"  T-Shirt (68)
(WBBM 780) Dumbass Chess coach makes rookie mistake by not realizing cops would check his emails, is captured by police for sending pics of his students to prison inmate, which was an illegal move. Pawned (42)
(Daily Mail) Scary Today's Chinese product recall due to melamine contamination involves... *drumroll* a chocolate-flavored penis spread. Seriously. Penis spread  T-Shirt (67)
(Yahoo) Amusing If you plan to break into a house and rob it, make sure the inhabitants are not employees of the UFC  T-Shirt (23)
(Gawker) Sad The forgotten, voiceless victims of the credit crunch? Mimes. Mime spokesman, when asked to comment: *Hands go in pockets* *searchs for wallet* *makes crying gesture with fingers* (47)
(Albany Times Union) Dumbass New York bans bug bombs since a few dozen idiots can't read instructions; representatives of Albany's powerful cockroach lobby celebrate with cigars and your new box of cereal  T-Shirt (38)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy News: Woman aquitted of attacking her boyfriend's ex-lover. Fark: She's a lingerie model and yes, there's a pic (if lingerie is not safe for your work, then not safe for work) (113)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Farker holding his big pole (33)
(Some Guy) Amusing Filipino authorities liken organ selling to prostitution. Sounds about right  T-Shirt (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this crazy carousel horse (57)
(Stuff) Interesting Cat survives gunshot, needs leg amputated, but is back in action just in time for Caturday  T-Shirt (374)
(The Sun) Misc Britain's worst driver  T-Shirt (55)
(CBS Chicago) Weird Creepy molester clown, urban legend, resurfaces in Chicago  T-Shirt (97)
(Some Guy) Silly Gosh darn kids make a freaking pledge to try like heck not to curse. Fark  T-Shirt (77)
(Some Guy) Strange Dogs eat man's car. Again. "I know it isn't the prettiest car, but it didn't deserve that"  T-Shirt (46)
(Daily Mail) Interesting The infamous World War II bombing of Dresden wasn't as dramatic as your grandfather made it out to be  T-Shirt (220)
(Telegraph) Amusing Scientist develops computer program to decipher and translate languages. Of aliens. From outer space. With cheezy alien pic  T-Shirt (76)
(AZCentral) Scary When your stage name is "Human Speed Bump" and you perform at state fairs, things like this are bound to happen from time to time  T-Shirt (20)
(Daily Mail) Weird Boy teaches pet rats to surf. In other news, ABC greenlights Adolecent Radioactive Samurai Rats for Saturday Mornings  T-Shirt (54)
(Telegraph) Dumbass More and more parents discover that Legos are better than a cheaply made, lead-riddled toy from China  T-Shirt (87)
(CNN) Followup No, you can't have back the teen you drove to Nebraska and abandoned to "scare him". Not yours  T-Shirt (70)
(Yahoo) Cool The Afghanistan version of "Who Wants to be a Millionaire": "Who wants win $21,000 and a couple of goats"  T-Shirt (29)
(mlive) Strange Workers find walkway made from grave markers at Ann Arbor home. It's an Eerie mystery  T-Shirt (58)
(Some Sporker) Fail Quote: "It isn't that a spork is inherently deadly, Olson said. It's the manner in which it was used"  T-Shirt (66)
(Herald-Leader) Interesting Youtube encouraging people to break Kentucky state law  T-Shirt (96)

Fri October 17, 2008
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this circular enclosure of color (35)
(St. Petersburg Times) Hero Two guys fulfill dream and open "World of Beer", a bar featuring 500-600 kinds of beer from all over the world  T-Shirt (166)
(DUI Blog) Florida Police were trained to reboot breathalyzer machines to quietly cancel tests that were not giving desired results  T-Shirt (219)
(AP) Strange If you happen upon a six foot tall camel who answers to the name Moses traveling with a tiny pony sidekick, Coco a Texas zoo would like them back  T-Shirt (38)
(London Times) Obvious Americans blamed for ruining parenting the same way they've wrecked everything else, from ice hockey to beer  T-Shirt (104)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Hot chicks, rotten kids headline this week's mugshot roundup  T-Shirt (196)
(Baltimore Sun) Amusing Much to some teens' dismay, principal reminds students they have to keep their clothes on during the homecoming dance. "It's not like you're going to get pregnant by dancing."  T-Shirt (66)
(Some Guy) Sappy "I can't believe it. It's like, unbelievable. It's like, all of a sudden I see a guy coming and he looks like my dad and I'm like, wait, that's my dad"  T-Shirt (44)
(CNN) Ironic "Math mistake" results in more than 400 layoffs in school district  T-Shirt (67)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Postal worker suspected of stealing underwear arrested while wearing stolen thong. Yeah, you probably shouldn't do that  T-Shirt (15)
(Some Guy) Cool The first Zeppelin to fly over the United States since the Hindenburg in 1937 takes off. What could possibly go wrong?  T-Shirt (124)
(WFTV) Florida Cop tasers 15-year-old at party after drinking with them all night. Investigators say only lead on finding the victim is a Hawaii driver's license (video)  T-Shirt (56)
(Ohio.com) Stupid Recession getting you down? Rake in $40k a year as a registered panhandler  T-Shirt (50)
(WCAX) PSA If your Day Care provides for more children than legally allowed, locking the extras in a shed during a state inspection may earn you even more trouble  T-Shirt (69)
(AP) Dumbass Man decides his life is more important, moves active ambulance that was blocking him. Bonus: he was illegally parked in a loading zone. Fark: alcohol was inolved  T-Shirt (46)
(MSNBC) Stupid South Korean shipping company pays ransom to Somali pirates, ensuring this sort of thing will never happen again  T-Shirt (67)
(Fox News) Sappy Best friends for 30 years discover they're actually sisters. You're watching Lifetime  T-Shirt (83)
(Some Guy) Asinine Community speed monitoring program places radar guns in citizen's hands. As if the HOA didn't have enough power already  T-Shirt (62)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Chicago Tribune endorses Barack Obama, first time it has endorsed a Democrat in its 161 year history  T-Shirt (278)
(Yahoo) Interesting Headline "voters souring on McCain while Obama stays steady" Which is either wildly inaccurate or Bob Barr is headed to one helluva showing  T-Shirt (192)
(BBC) Scary Drunk on power and without the incentive of failure, socialized banks lose all interest in helping homeowners. But don't worry, it will be different in the US  T-Shirt (149)
(My Fox Colorado) Weird Guy who got glued to a toilet seat at Home Depot and sued the store a few years ago, is found dead inside his Colorado mountain home  T-Shirt (131)
(CFOSnafu) Silly Some collection companies get results by sending out costumed debt collectors including bagpipe players. Isn't that against the Geneva Convention or something?  T-Shirt (56)
(AP) Dumbass Draw, point, *BANG*. Draw, point, *BANG*. Dr*BANG*  T-Shirt (95)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tower of power (57)
(CBS Boston) Spiffy Women charged with running a brothel across the street from a church. "It was busier than a fast-food drive-through"  T-Shirt (333)
(Newsday) Interesting Hawaii, the only state with universal child health coverage, is no longer the only state with universal child health coverage because it stopped the program after only seven months  T-Shirt (580)
(AJC) Fail If you're going to be a fake cop, don't be a dumbass and pull over your next door neighbor  T-Shirt (40)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Ironic Best criminal T-shirt mugshot EVAR  T-Shirt (280)
(The Atlantic) Amusing Meh: Reporter goes through TSA security with fake boarding pass and other prohibited goodies. Fark: Multiple times  T-Shirt (174)
(AP) Dumbass To prove he gave up his illegal pet monkey a Los Angeles man shows the judge a picture of his monkey surrounded by red, white and green decorations reading a Mexican newspaper. Right, none of those things can be found in LA (81)
(Some Guy) Sad Mexican cartels: Gimme the money or your wilderness gets it. National Park Service: lolwut  T-Shirt (148)
(WFTV) Florida Swat team bursts into home with tear gas, break down every door and point a gun at the head of an elderly man taking care of infant, only to find out suspect hasn't lived there for over 6 years (110)
(AP) Scary Explosion at a Dalton, Ga., law firm results in multiple injuries, schools placed on lockdown  T-Shirt (88)
(Newsday) Dumbass Sir, is that a pipe bomb in your suitcase? Uh, no, no that's fireworks  T-Shirt (29)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Masturbating while naked in a park, with a metal rod stuck in your penis is no way to go through life, son. (with creepy mug shot)  T-Shirt (189)
(Some Guy) Ironic Teen stabbed outside of Friendly High School. Irony Police admit oversight, increase presence at Neighborly Middle  T-Shirt (37)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Florida Two men catch four foot long iguana and don't know what to do with it. The end  T-Shirt (87)
(My Fox Orlando) Florida Wearing a Palin shirt to middle school? That's racist  T-Shirt (806)
(AP) Asinine 12-year-old student thrilled to find out that her wetting herself in a time-out room is now national news, with a picture just for maximum embarrassment  T-Shirt (299)
(Local6) Florida Toddler finds parents' marijuana stash, eats some, promptly eats every single Dorito in the house  T-Shirt (233)
(Reason Magazine) Interesting Corporate welfare is a good and decent thing, just like the New Deal was  T-Shirt (155)
(Salem News) Interesting "You treat 'em like kids. It becomes almost like part of the family. Having them blown up in some ways doesn't seem right"  T-Shirt (58)
(Canada.com) Sad Six year-old girl recovers from dog mauling just in time to be diagnosed with brain cancer. Apparently having to live in Saskatchewan wasn't punishment enough  T-Shirt (140)
(UPI) Interesting Taliban still apparently unaware they started a major war with the wrong people  T-Shirt (362)
(Some Guy) Fail Welcome to another round of FDIC Friday. To win, simply guess which bank failures will be anounced later today. Everyone can play  T-Shirt (172)
(New Zealand Herald) Strange "He grabbed a mouse from a woman's cleavage, pretended to eat it, and killed it in the process"  T-Shirt (73)
(CBS News) Dumbass Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to my penis?  T-Shirt (79)
(Salon) Dumbass And today's School Bus Driver of the Year entry comes to us from: NYC  T-Shirt (34)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this bewildered, banana-eating boy (52)
(Bangor Daily News) Dumbass Woman claims that she and her horse make up a herd and that the state should find them a home together  T-Shirt (54)
(Joplin Globalists) Obvious Joplin schoolboard says tattooed employees send wrong message, veterans included. However, teachers' tramp stamps found to be helpful  T-Shirt (257)
(asahi.com) Stupid Japanese fugu chef poisoned after eating potentially lethal liver. "If we could have our way, we would like to revoke his license for such stupidity"  T-Shirt (70)
(BBC) Strange Not content with attempting to build nuclear weapons, Iran attempts to break world record, build 1,500m long intercontinental ostrich sandwich  T-Shirt (69)
(Washington Post) Interesting The Washington Post endorses Barack Obama  T-Shirt (460)
(Reuters) Sick Brit banned from serving kebabs with corpse on the side  T-Shirt (53)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not news: Woman stopped for expired inspection sticker. Fark: with 78 pot plants in the back seat  T-Shirt (33)
(Scientific American) Obvious It's official: liberals are messier than conservatives  T-Shirt (175)
(Fox News) Asinine Homeless teen says he killed college student because "he was bored," will soon get bored in prison  T-Shirt (163)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these parking metres (47)
(BBC) Strange In an effort to appear less uptight than Dubai, nanny state to legalize public sex  T-Shirt (92)
(The Register) Scary Beam drifting and you: weaponized microwave and millimeter wave beams, explosive-driven electromagnetic pulse devices, laser induced plasma channel systems, non-lethal directed energy devices, and atomic-scale and subatomic particle beams (138)
(Daily Express) Dumbass Cancer schmancer. Just eat two pots of yoghurt a day and you'll live to be 127  T-Shirt (107)

Thu October 16, 2008
(Telegraph) Interesting A leading theologian says the most absurd thing about religion is all those robes priests have to wear  T-Shirt (198)
(Livenews) Strange In space, no one can hear you scream... but at least it smells nice  T-Shirt (99)
(The Local (Germany)) Scary Germany discovers 2,100 undetonated WWII bombs lying in a field, wastes chance for most awesome Oktoberfest fireworks ever  T-Shirt (84)
(WFTV) Florida Twelve-year-old arrested for seeing if sticks and stones can really break the bones of a pregnant teacher (w/ 'sad snowflake' mugshot)  T-Shirt (341)
(Local6) Florida Arguing with a fellow student over $4 missing from his backpack? That's a steak-knife-stabbin'  T-Shirt (22)
(Bloomberg) Obvious CDC study on "car surfing" concludes that injuries will occur if the following criteria is met; A: Car is moving, B: You're on it, not in it, C: It's August, D: You said "Hey guys, watch this" (61)
(Telegraph) Scary "Instead, he allegedly grabbed the pilot's crotch shouting: 'I am not going to behave myself'"  T-Shirt (65)
(AJC) Cool Dentist offers $1 per pound in Halloween candy buy back, then sends sweets to troops overseas  T-Shirt (86)
(Washington Post) Interesting Study finds that people with internet experience who search the internet use more of their brains, fewer of their hands  T-Shirt (69)
(Globe and Mail) Scary Domestic terrorists have successfully attacked Canadian gas pipeline near Dawson Creek for the second time. Pacey held for questioning  T-Shirt (104)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this clown for ages four and up (63)
(Fox News) Dumbass Man arrested for burning a lower case "t" in his front yard  T-Shirt (175)
(AP) Amusing If you are going to go buy smokes dressed as an ape to win a bet with your girlfriend, better make sure there aren't any warrants for your arrest first. The More You Know  T-Shirt (18)
(Some Guy) Weird Two sisters arrested for stealing a check from their other sister who was in the hospital, but mugshots the real story is (w/ Yoda pic)  T-Shirt (132)
(AP) Dumbass Mom takes her 12-year old daughter to a park to fight another 12-year old, then jumps in when it appears her daughter is losing  T-Shirt (79)
(Some Guy) Interesting In 1944, a science fiction story was published that detailed the workings of an atomic bomb - fourteen months before the first successful atomic explosion - thus prompting a Federal security agency to investigate (108)
(The Sun) Obvious Facing a credit crunch, Brits have taken to dodging rounds at the pub, "borrowing" cigarettes and stealing toilet paper rolls from the loo  T-Shirt (54)
(WBBM) Amusing Want to share your most intimate secrets with the world via the internet? Try Facebook, MySpace or the City of Indianapolis' website  T-Shirt (40)
(Houston Chronicle) Unlikely Queen Elizabeth II uploads video in Google visit, promptly fueling online sex tape speculation  T-Shirt (26)
(Bloomberg) Cool Oil drops below $70 a barrel on speculation that Joe the Plumber broke Nancy Reagan's pelvis  T-Shirt (187)
(Billings Gazette) Cool Bowhunter saves his son's life by shooting 500-pound grizzly bear in the heart with perfectly aimed arrow. Future exploits to include storming castle, rescuing maid Marion  T-Shirt (170)
(Statesman) Spiffy Austin police deliver baby girl on side of highway, promptly cite her for disrupting traffic  T-Shirt (64)
(Washington Post) Unlikely Hugo Chavez has his constituents convinced that the US is about to invade Venezuela and take all its oil and beauty queens  T-Shirt (376)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Obvious Caught on film: CNN analyst would rather check Facebook, MLB.com than analyze presidential debates  T-Shirt (106)
(MyFox Houston) Amusing Deputy Dwight Schrute takes down 8-point buck in Houston area office building  T-Shirt (67)
(The Sun) Unlikely Guess who's back, back again, creepy gnome's back, tell a friend (video)  T-Shirt (103)
(Reuters) Strange "A what? I nearly soiled meself" "Bu' tha's no ardinerry rahbeet Beeg sharp, nastie fangs""  T-Shirt (64)
(New York Daily News) Stupid NJ gets a jump on clearing up the deficit by billing man $400 Million  T-Shirt (30)
(Some Guy) Asinine Doctors discover new condition called "Mobile Phone Dermatitis." Can you heal me now?  T-Shirt (43)
(Independent) Interesting Commie squirrels become immune to biological warfare. EVERYBODY PANIC  T-Shirt (50)
(Slate) Fail Slate examines the FAIL phenomenom  T-Shirt (222)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass Beer bottle broken over one man's head leads to retaliation with a metal car jack. Four men arrested. Best baby shower ever  T-Shirt (46)
(NBC15 News) Amusing Man burglarizes beauty shop dressed in heels and blonde wig. Come for the story...stay for the pic  T-Shirt (50)
(Some OW MY LEG) Dumbass Do not get drunk and "carjack" a backhoe...he might be packin'  T-Shirt (23)
(Myrtle Beach Online) Dumbass Guy leaves infant in car while he goes into strip club. Bonus: car is unlocked and keys are inside. Double Bonus: His wife is inside working the pole. Triple Bonus: he was getting a lapdance from another girl (104)
(My Fox DC) Strange Baltimore health officials say residents in one affluent neighborhood live on average two decades longer than their neighbors in a distressed neighborhood across town. Wait, there are affluent neighborhoods in Baltimore now, what? (92)
(Some Grunt) PSA National Boss Day. Share your worst or best boss experiences. Voting enabled for humor  T-Shirt (390)
(The Thinking Blog) Scary Renters score deep discounts on apartments where suicides, murders or deaths have occurred. Here comes the seance  T-Shirt (107)
(Some Guy) Cool Toyota reveals its new Pious.. oops Prius  T-Shirt (305)
(BBC) PSA If you thought the stock market corrections and credit fiasco weren't enough to foretell the End of Days, Britney Spears has her second #1 single after "Baby One More Time"  T-Shirt (104)
(M.E.N) Dumbass If you don't know the PIN code for bank cards you stole, do not go back to the same ATM 50 times & just guess. Also, look out for the CCTV  T-Shirt (39)
(USA Today) Obvious Analysts predicting that hard financial times will prevent American consumers from buying much-needed big-screen TVs and digital cameras. Dude, that's what credit cards are for  T-Shirt (79)
(Fox News) Unlikely Maryland asks registered sex offenders to display "No candy at this residence" Halloween stickers to warn families. Says they won't fall for "...but there are puppies in the backyard" again (108)
(TwinCities.com) Dumbass When a police officer warns you that you need a light on your bike there is no reason to tell him you have been banging a 13-year-old girl  T-Shirt (124)
(Seattle Times) Followup Repair work begins on the Berlin Wall for some damn reason or other  T-Shirt (37)
(ABC News) Cool Doctor to nurse: "Hey check this out.... I put these metal shavings on this coma patient's face, and just like that kid game, I use this magnet to rearrange his 'beard' LOL." --- Patient: "hey...WTF?" (64)
(BBC) Stupid In Dubai, "sex on the beach" gets served with a three month jail sentence chaser  T-Shirt (102)
(Some Guy) Asinine Retired law enforcement officer, busted by a red-light camera, sues because his constitutional rights were violated  T-Shirt (110)
(LA Times) Amusing CPR needs to be done at the tempo of "Stayin' Alive" by the Bee Gees to be effective. Or, if you're not feeling terribly optimistic, "Another One Bites the Dust", by Queen  T-Shirt (87)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Your teenage pupils may indeed be naughty, naughty girls, but it's still a bad idea to spank them in class  T-Shirt (131)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy City of Houston offering cash prizes for suggestions as to what to make of Ike-related tree debris. If you can make a hat, or a broach, or a pterodactyl, you could win $10,000 (48)
(TampaBays10.com) Stupid "Joe the Plumber" mentioned more times than Iraq in last night's debate  T-Shirt (541)
(Boston Globe) Silly MIT hacks over the years, how do they drive those cars up to the roof anyway?  T-Shirt (52)
(Reuters) Amusing Forget pundit opinions, polls, and the like...the real barometer of who's going to win the presidential election is when bookies start paying off on Obama bets three weeks early  T-Shirt (87)
(Daily Mail) Scary Eight-year olds are now converting their pencil sharpeners into knives. Don't they know the pen is mightier?  T-Shirt (63)
(Some Guy) Stupid Stupid Criminal of the Day: Burger King robbery nets two uniform caps, three jackets and a 12 pack. A 12 pack of invisible tape. No way he's going to tape his way out of this one  T-Shirt (20)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this student of photography (37)
(AFP) Sad The last remaining survivor of the Titanic disaster is selling off mementoes to pay for her hursing home fees. Maybe she shouldn't have thrown the necklace back  T-Shirt (86)
(Some Guy) Silly The funniest pictures of upside-down dogs turned right-side up you'll see all day  T-Shirt (66)
(MSNBC) Obvious U.S. Supreme Court chooses immunity idol, refuses to hear ground-breaking Naked Survivor Guy vs. IRS appeal  T-Shirt (34)
(Metro) Interesting There were more traffic fatalities in Medieval times than there are today. Suck it Anabaptists  T-Shirt (36)
(IOL) Dumbass When exacting your road rage with a sword, make sure to keep an eye on oncoming traffic. There can BE ONLY ONE . . . in the passing lane  T-Shirt (48)
(Telegraph) Scary Wild Runts: Britians children turn feral and terrorize neighbourhood: "Some of these kids are so small some might think it unbelievable for us to be terrified of them"  T-Shirt (131)
(wigantoday) Silly Woman tells media that she's really concerned about her stolen dog, because it doesn't speak a word of English  T-Shirt (27)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Cold and busted: Melting icecaps. New hotness: Trees in Northern Europe retaining their leaves until January. I'm dreaming of a Green Christmas  T-Shirt (57)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Not News: Good samaritan offers his mobile home to homeless family for $600 a month. Florida: Homeless family files a restraining order against him and sues him for his trailer (161)
(UPI) Interesting Scientists find that bonding with a mate changes each person's brain chemistry, causing women to close up the sex buffet, and men to long for the sweet release that death brings  T-Shirt (146)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Man sues strip club after pole-dancing stripper loses shoe, which flies into ceiling, breaks glass mirror on ceiling and hits him in the head. Rube Goldberg unavailable for comment  T-Shirt (51)
(Some Guy) Weird Jews try and put the kibosh on the speculative real estate market around Jerusalem's Temple Mount -- many expect home prices in the area to skyrocket soon following the return of the Messiah (43)
(The Sun) Spiffy Basement dwellers rejoice. For about $40, you can sound like a Star Wars storm trooper. Batteries and ability to miss everything you aim at not included  T-Shirt (63)
(London Times) Hero Father of a murdered son, husband to a murdered wife and I shall be dug up by archeologists, in this life or the next  T-Shirt (78)
(My Fox Colorado) Interesting Gun-toting Governor Palin has women buying up pink hunting rifles en masse  T-Shirt (328)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Fairytale characters in the real world (74)
(Fox News) Asinine AIG did it again. This time, $86K for a hunting trip. In England  T-Shirt (310)
(Daily Mail) Sad Thanks to your raging alcoholism, your parents will probably live longer than you. Booze: What can't it do?  T-Shirt (160)
(The Sun) Sick A British restaurant chain has started serving up pizza with FROGS' LEGS topping. Animal rights activists are, rather predictably, hopping mad  T-Shirt (190)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 180: "See You at the Fair." Details and rules in the first post. LGT next week's theme (166)

Wed October 15, 2008
(Creative Review) Strange British artists build birdhouses based on dictators' palaces; Jimmy Carter likes the Castro, Mugabe and Ceausescu models in particular, whereas Kissinger goes for something a little more Pinochety (31)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this Porky Pig plaything (54)
(The Sun) Ironic Wall built so youths can "practice" graffiti is vandalized by graffiti before it opens  T-Shirt (81)
(Some Guy) Interesting Transgender elementary school music teacher leaves class as a soprano and comes back as a bass, angering parents and totally confusing the wood section of the school orchestra  T-Shirt (204)
(AP) Hero There is a battle being waged between those who make good beer and those who make evil beer  T-Shirt (89)
(STLToday) Scary Dear parents: The health department has advised the high school teaching staff that we have a nasty AIDS bug going around the campus this semester, please have Johnny tested for HIV (180)
(MyFox Phoenix) Amusing Picture shows HOT cheerleading coach partying with her HOT 18 year-old daughter. Fark: Daughter was holding a Coors can. Oops  T-Shirt (190)
(9 News) Stupid Man charged for DUI. In his wheelchair  T-Shirt (65)
(FARK) PSA Presidential Debate, Part Three. Official thread. Who wants to buy a T-Shirt?  T-Shirt (4138)
(AP) Sick Top lieutenant to Martin Luther King Jr. apparently also had a dream. Unfortunately his involved having sex with his daughter, so now he'll have to wait 15 years to be "free at last" (81)
(CBS Austin) Stupid Bridesmaid requirements: Ugly dress...check, stupid hat...check, nose job...check, boob job...check  T-Shirt (162)
(Seacoastonline.com) Stupid Getting caught with 4.4 pounds of pot is bad. The police finding your little yellow legal pad with all your customers names on it is much worse. Bonus: 4.4 pounds is now worth $22k  T-Shirt (101)
(News.com.au) Spiffy "Son, I wouldn't do that." Talking CCT cameras to warn off hoons thinking of starting trouble  T-Shirt (50)
(AP) Misc "Don't tase me boar"  T-Shirt (27)
(WGAL 8) Scary Guy crawls under mobile home while it's precariously balancing on concrete blocks. What could possibly go wrong?  T-Shirt (70)
(California Democrat) Cool Grandparents build their grandaughters a 450 sq. ft. playhouse. Complete with AC, lights, water, heat and a garage for their tiny electric cars  T-Shirt (129)
(London Times) Obvious It might be better for Western women if they went back to arranged marriages. "One of the strengths of arranged marriages is that both parties are ready. How much easier that must be."  T-Shirt (184)
(Google) Spiffy Today is Global Handwashing Day. Rinse. Repeat. Wipe hands on pants  T-Shirt (117)
(Springfield News-Leader) Silly After police fail to find a missing four-year old in his home using infared technology to search for him, issue alert. Hours later, boy crawls out from under his mother's bed where he had been sleeping (140)
(USA Today) PSA Before stuffing your gob with microwaved chicken, make sure it was pre-cooked  T-Shirt (109)
(AFP) Dumbass Normally, the odds against winning the lottery are such that it's no big deal if one accidentally runs a lottery ticket through the washing machine. Normally, that is  T-Shirt (75)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Navy officer receives purple heart, $331,000 from victims fund after lying about being injured in 9/11 Pentagon attacks. Feds became suspicious when he ran NYC marathon in under 4 hours (63)
(CBS Boston) Amusing Apparently even Boston's famous Citgo sign is playing with more fire than the Red Sox are  T-Shirt (98)
(MSNBC) Followup Cheney leaves hospital after doctors use rock polisher to fix defect in his heart  T-Shirt (160)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: New official music book distributed to all primary schools. Still not news: Includes "La Cucaracha." Fark: The version of "La Cucaracha" about the cockroach who can't get up because he's smoked too much weed (88)
(The Hill) Followup Blogger resigns after calling Sarah Palin's prop children a "Prop"  T-Shirt (354)
(Omaha World Herald) Amusing Stupid: Nebraska Senator files lawsuit against God. Obvious: Judge throws it out. Fark: Because there's no way to serve papers to the defendant  T-Shirt (125)
(CNN) Dumbass Sports Illustrated ranks all NFL stadiums from best to worst. Giants Stadium ranked 22nd. "Jets Stadium" ranked 29th  T-Shirt (258)
(WBBM) Amusing From the town that brought you the ban on foie grae and drinking during baseball games, Chicago now introduces a ban on little ziploc bags  T-Shirt (203)
(SFGate) Obvious You mean al Qaeda ISN'T sitting in their caves, waiting for BART to allow sippy cups?  T-Shirt (169)
(Redding.com) Scary When grandma dies do you 1) cremate her in a backyard BBQ 2) keep cashing her retirement checks 3) fashion a piece of her skull bone into a necklace 4) all of the above (with spiffy mugshots) (180)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these Tokyo rockabillies (44)
(WSB-TV) Unlikely Man with neurological disease making him barely able to move his arms somehow finds the strength to go on a rampage at Atlanta's airport, forcing police to beat and arrest him  T-Shirt (123)
(Yahoo) Amusing Obama campaign accidentally sends pre-debate post-debate talking points to press pre-debate  T-Shirt (868)
(UPI) Unlikely Chicago couple receives a $9,501,071 parking ticket for parking over two hours. They are entitled to a hearing on the matter or could plead guilty and simply pay the fine  T-Shirt (70)
(Orlando Sentinel) Followup Not news: Free flu shots for seniors. News: More than 300 old guys went. Fark: It was at a nudie bar  T-Shirt (61)
(Metro) Followup Failed suicide bomber admits Giraffe restaurant gaffe  T-Shirt (44)
(SFGate) Amusing When you throw a party at your house, you really shouldn't leave $140,000 in cash lying around  T-Shirt (70)
(State Journal Register) Amusing Woman learns her decorated veteran boyfriend is not the toughest guy in the park  T-Shirt (155)
(Telegraph) Silly Pony gets wasted, wakes up being rescued from neighbour's pool by firefighters. "Just a bit of horseplay, officers"  T-Shirt (52)
(Yahoo) Interesting British Library acquires "major" Ted Hughes archives including letters, manuscripts, unpublished poems and an oven that was only ever used by wife Sylvia Plath once  T-Shirt (46)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy 1,528-pound pumpkin takes blue ribbon at World Championship in California, narrowly edging out Kirstie Alley  T-Shirt (45)
(SeattlePI) Sad Math professor goes missing in Oregon during hike. Family are praying for a sine he's still alive  T-Shirt (131)
(News.com.au) Dumbass St. Vincent De Paul Church would like to thank you for your generosity, but request that you please refrain from depositing possums in the charity bin  T-Shirt (38)
(Some Chick) Weird Woman, 61, and her husband are suing Delaware hospital because she didn't die  T-Shirt (87)
(Channel 4) Florida Four jumbo jets full of passengers may or may not have been redirected through thunderstorms to help train an air traffic controller student  T-Shirt (39)
(Some Guy) Cool Perhaps the greatest time-waster you'll see this week -- play with sand, like you did when you were little  T-Shirt (161)
(Some Guy) Florida You know that Florida congressman who replaced Mark Foley, but was having an affair? Well, after the publicity of that, more women he was having affairs with are coming out of the woodwork (148)
(Some Guy) Stupid Makers of the Whizzinator plead guilty to federal drug paraphernalia charges  T-Shirt (144)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Auto service center charges 80-year-old man over $10,700 in auto repairs. Dinner, movie not included  T-Shirt (77)
(AP) NewsFlash Dick Cheney experiences abnormal heart rhythm while throwing bags of puppies into a river  T-Shirt (606)
(KBTX) Stupid You have a beef with a TV station. Do you: A) Write a stern letter? B) Send an angry email? Or C) Chase employees on your bike and throw a cinder block at the station's live van?  T-Shirt (20)
(MDN) Scary Looks like Spider-Man has his Havoc suit back -- and they're taking a tour of Japan  T-Shirt (25)
(Some Guy) Interesting Woman who claimed to be mother of 14 children jailed for social security fraud after investigator spots her wearing pants  T-Shirt (36)
(Google) Interesting ♪ From the land of holy terror (terror)... comes the beer refreshing... Hamas, the beer refreshing... ♪ (34)
(London Times) Sappy U.S. soldier vows to leave no dog behind  T-Shirt (63)
(Some Guy) Asinine Old and busted: Online sex offender database. New hotness: Online traffic offender database  T-Shirt (67)
(The Tennessean) News Wanted: New No. 2 for Al-Qaida in Iraq. All applicants must have at least six months experience not getting killed by the U.S. Army  T-Shirt (105)
(Some Guy) Florida Woman arrested for selling "hot snakes." No, that is not a euphemism (with scary snake-lady pic)  T-Shirt (42)
(11 Alive) Amusing Prankster swaps out conservative neighborhood's McCain signs for Obama signs. For some reason, this upset a few people  T-Shirt (303)
(CNN) Cool Since the 90s, over 100 drive-In theaters have opened or reopened, giving today's teenagers a chance to experience awkward, sweaty fumbling around a stick shift  T-Shirt (155)
(Inside Higher Ed) Asinine Baylor pays its admitted students to retake the SAT so that they can raise the university's average and help it go up in rankings  T-Shirt (52)
(The Consumerist) Amusing Sure, Wal-Mart might sell you an empty box instead of a laptop, but you bought it with a stolen credit card, so let's just call it even  T-Shirt (50)
(Daily Mail) Cool Would-be hijacker to passengers: "This is a hijacking, I have a bomb." Passengers to would-be hijacker: "STFU, *smack* *pow*"  T-Shirt (102)
(Scientific American) Interesting Why we can't imagine death  T-Shirt (550)
(CTV) Stupid Dear Oil & Gas Pipeline Owners: Stop production and leave area immediately or we will strike again. Sincerely, Incompetent Bomb Makers  T-Shirt (35)
(Yahoo) Photoshop Photoshop McCain and Obama into a movie poster (161)
(Metro) Obvious Madonna: "I'm leaving you, Guy." Guy: "I'm not your Guy, friend." Madonna: "I'm not your friend, buddy." Guy: "I'm not your buddy, biatch"  T-Shirt (165)
(The Scotsman) Sad Ads for Maltesers and Jaffa cakes, the only two items of food to ever come out of Britain that normal people would willingly eat, banned because they're not health food  T-Shirt (107)
(Yahoo) Strange Old and busted: Emails from Nigeria. New hotness: Calls from grandkids  T-Shirt (40)
(London Times) Strange Britain's National Health Service plans to buy yachts to improve public health and sail to exotic lands firing broadsides at pirate insurance companies  T-Shirt (48)
(Daily Express) Amusing Half of persons under 30 in Britain don't know how to cook a potato  T-Shirt (189)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this serene 70s scene (42)
(CNN) Scary Omar HUSSEIN becomes hurricane, heads for U.S. Virgin Islands  T-Shirt (57)
(Abc.net.au) Sick Don't shake hands with Brits  T-Shirt (102)
(WHTM) Hero Pennsylvania judge rules that a woman can carry her gun to her son's soccer match  T-Shirt (410)
(SFGate) Scary 12,000 pounds of chicken attempt to cross Highway 101, with obvious results  T-Shirt (43)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass The English village of Coleford in Gloucestershire has already put up Christmas decorations  T-Shirt (53)
(New Zealand Herald) Weird Mayor of Auckland reassures the city's homeless by telling them that "they have just as much right to live in the city as stray cats"  T-Shirt (75)

Tue October 14, 2008
(MSNBC) Stupid Next up on the list of things destroying the planet: Halloween  T-Shirt (143)
(New York Daily News) Fail "Tank, load the jump program"  T-Shirt (263)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this plush moth (54)
(London Times) Fail If you're going to purse-snatch from a granny, better make sure that she wasn't her school's 1953 cross-country champion  T-Shirt (64)
(AZCentral) Misc Thirsty? How about kicking back a shot of Louis XIII Black Pearl Magnum. It'll only set you back $3,000  T-Shirt (146)
(LA Times) Fail You want a seasonal job this holiday season? No, not yours  T-Shirt (119)
(AP) Obvious A new study reveals that college students become more liberal in college, also that they like beer and want to have sex  T-Shirt (332)
(The Consumerist) Asinine You're a business owner and you receive a ridiculous complaint. Do you a) give in to the customer's demand, b) tell them to fark themselves, or c) forward the email chain to a widely read website so everyone can join in the fun? (260)
(Readers Digest) Amusing New York, famous cesspool of cosmopolitan elitists and haters of small town values, is ranked as the most courteous and polite city in the world  T-Shirt (227)
(AP) Obvious Baghdad housing prices soar...EVERYODY PANIC  T-Shirt (54)
(MSNBC) Florida Attention Orlando-area commuters: If you lost a washing machine on I-4 this afternoon, at least four other drivers have found it  T-Shirt (68)
(WWL) Weird Mother of the Year charged with firing shotgun from minivan at teen daughter's ex-boyfriend. Bonus: *very* hittable pic  T-Shirt (260)
(WFTV) Followup Casey Anthony charged with first-degree murder for her daughter's death  T-Shirt (300)
(Boing Boing) Amusing Be in Apple/PC commercial. Check. Write book about information. Check. Profit? (103)
(My Fox DC) Silly Baltimore archbishop tells "visionary" to quit talking about messages she claims to receive from the Virgin Mary. Potato chips shaped like Christ still OK  T-Shirt (91)
(Sioux City Journal) Dumbass It takes a certain kind of man to lose an eye at a nudie bar. It takes an even more special man to do it again  T-Shirt (157)
(OUT-LAW) Silly Absolut sues Absolute Radio on grounds that people may confuse radio with vodka  T-Shirt (95)
(Reuters) Strange If you stole 660 pounds of nuts in Germany, the police would really like to warn you about the poisonous gas they've been stored with  T-Shirt (87)
(Some Guy) PSA Drew's grabbing a beer at the 13th Street Saloon and Steak Pit in Boulder, CO today starting at 6:00 p.m. Pop-up Fark Party, anyone? (112)
(Scholastic.com) PSA Obama wins the Scholastic Kids Election Poll. Poll hasn't been wrong in 40 years  T-Shirt (371)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Couple declare sovereign status, paid no taxes since 90s, file liens against judge, tow company, Bill Clinton, court clerk and guy who won't turn over $700,000 home they paid for with a homemade money order (436)
(BreakingNews .ie) Sad Country crooner Kenny Chesney writes song about divorcing Renee Zellweger. Titled "Goodbye, Squinty McSquintsalot," the track is racing up the country charts (219)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Not news: Prostitution sweep nets three hookers. News: They're named Pedro, Wilfredo, and Luis. Fark: With cross-dressing mug shot "goodness."  T-Shirt (131)
(WGEM.com) Cool Plant explosion artificially sweetens Mississippi River  T-Shirt (74)
(Seacoastonline.com) Cool Hello? Entire town of Woodstock? Do you all have Prince Edward in a can?  T-Shirt (55)
(PJ Star) Interesting Tony Stark wannabes looking for cheap palladium are stealing catalytic converters right off of parked trucks  T-Shirt (99)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sidewalk romance (46)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass If you are going to follow through with the protocol of a hit and run, fix the car yourself. Don't take it to a local dealer and order the parts found in the road  T-Shirt (49)
(Google) Followup Canadians trudge off to the polls today to choose between a douche, a turd sandwich, a clown, a tree-hugger and a Frenchie as a leader. It's your 40th Canadian General Election discussion (1420)
(Daily Mail) Ironic Film that planned to highlight social problems in grim suburbs surrounding Paris canceled after youths with social problems in grim suburbs surrounding Paris torch production cars and threaten crew (164)
(Hollyscoop) Spiffy Jay-Z now available for your kid's birthday party for only $10K. That's almost 70 percent off his normal rate  T-Shirt (101)
(Telegraph) Ironic Great moments in state-run health care: Britain's national health service sends its staff to private doctors  T-Shirt (193)
(Reuters) Amusing The problem: What to get the Mafia don who has everything for Christmas? The solution: Roberto Saviano's head on a platter  T-Shirt (50)
(My San Antonio) Interesting San Antonio police no longer can use tasers on redneck methheads. Wood shampoo still okay  T-Shirt (110)
(Breitbart.com) Scary Add out-of-control wildfires to California's many problems, including a budget crisis, a housing market slump and Michael Bay movies  T-Shirt (91)
(BBC) Photoshop Iran announces car to be specially designed for women. Photoshop some suggestions (42)
(AFP) Interesting Now that our military is broken, our reputation with the world is shot and our banking system has collapsed, some are wondering just how "super" a power we really are  T-Shirt (363)
(TBO) Florida Man intercepted by airport police after Canadian customs officials warn of his criminal history: Owning a dog without a license  T-Shirt (67)
(Daily Mail) Sad Sad: Cute single mom gave up sex eight years ago after her divorce. Sadder: During a TV interview, David Hasselhoff asked her out and offered to "cure" her  T-Shirt (318)
(ksdk) Asinine Not to be outdone by Target, radio station has already rolled out their 24/7 Christmas music  T-Shirt (200)
(SMH) Followup German incest cellar dad declared "sane." Because nothing says sane like building a dungeon, locking up your daughter and fathering a new family with her  T-Shirt (247)
(Komo) Scary TSA uniforms and badges often share the fate of your luggage  T-Shirt (83)
(Telegraph) Amusing The continuum of laziness ranges from "won't change the TV channel if he can't find the remote" to this man, Mr. "I take my dog for a walk by car"  T-Shirt (72)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this facepalm (116)
(Telegraph) Sad Hear ye, hear ye -- but he can't. Town crier deafened by own bell  T-Shirt (40)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this electromechanical device (40)
(AP) Dumbass Woman rolls her vehicle while trying to break up a fight between her two cats riding on her lap  T-Shirt (70)
(WBIR.com) Fail Father secretly changes baby's name to "Sarah McCain Palin." Joe Obama Biden unavailable for comment  T-Shirt (276)
(Some Guy) Amusing In another universe, the two Lays Potato Chip trucks safely passed each other on a highway without incident  T-Shirt (59)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Strange Fat, drunk and driving a combine is no way to go through life  T-Shirt (39)
(Rian.Ru) Strange People are always talking about that time a horse walked into a bar, but nobody ever mentions what happened afterwards  T-Shirt (37)
(Some Guy) Asinine Curse at old people taking forever to park their car? That's a citation  T-Shirt (49)
(London Times) Interesting "Maybe it won't be such a bad thing if L.A. burns. Think of all those foreclosed houses that would be taken off the market"  T-Shirt (73)
(Mercury News) Amusing A 150-year-old tortoise runs away from home. It all happened so fast  T-Shirt (35)
(London Times) Obvious Not news: Pub customers in England complain about rowdiness, bad behaviour and insolence ruining their night out. Fark: From children in the pub  T-Shirt (53)
(Newsday) Interesting Utah schools setup "snitch.com," a place for students to anonymously report bullies, thefts, drugs and harassment  T-Shirt (152)
(Denver Post) Fail A high school valedictorian must apologize for mentioning Jesus in her speech or she won't get her diploma  T-Shirt (697)
(News.com.au) Scary Qantas still unsuccessful in attempts to kill passengers, switches tactics, now trying to kill its passengers with shuttle buses instead  T-Shirt (29)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Pantyhose are the latest male fashion trend  T-Shirt (151)

Mon October 13, 2008
(Huffington Post) Obvious Good news 35+ year old bachelors: Society no longer thinks you're gay. They just think you're losers  T-Shirt (513)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these immersed individuals (41)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Teenage girls sunbaking on beach with their mobile phone numbers written on their lower backs. What could possibly go wrong?  T-Shirt (186)
(News.com.au) Scary Man hangs around outside his home for hours after accidentally impaling himself on his fence. "Luckily the leg was starting to go a bit numb, so he wasn't in too much pain."  T-Shirt (29)
(Some Guy) Asinine Detroit mother takes advantage of Nebraska's safe-haven law, drives 12 hours to abandon 13-year old son. Boy just happy to be out of Detroit  T-Shirt (104)
(The Sun) Amusing Woman at aquarium takes eerie photo of a shark, blue water - and a disembodied HUMAN HEAD  T-Shirt (165)
(UPI) Asinine Fourteen-year-old girl disappears to secretly live with milkman. Now 24, she married him. Oh, and she finally decided to let the world know she's not dead. SURPRISE  T-Shirt (118)
(KGTV) Dumbass Further proof that Marty McFly's skateboarding tricks don't work in real life  T-Shirt (78)
(UPI) Fail Police secretly install a closed circuit camera in the home of a British Methodist minister, arrest her for sending herself threatening mail and blaming others. Also busted by the church for nude dancing in front of her bathroom mirror (89)
(Some Guy) Interesting Rutgers does study on the "Freshman 15" myth, determines that those chicks were already fat in high school  T-Shirt (172)
(YouTube) Amusing Obama mention pie 15 times in less than two minutes during a speech. That's change we can believe in  T-Shirt (283)
(Reuters) Interesting British lawmakers reject tighter anti-terror laws, on the grounds that it would put them out of a job  T-Shirt (57)
(Gateway Pundit) Strange Obama's "fact-checking" website on Thursday: "Barack was never an ACORN trainer and never worked for ACORN in any other capacity." On Monday: "Ok, fine, he was, but they didn't pay him" (566)
(LA Times) Silly "Dear God, Please prove you are bigger than their heathen Gods by making McCain win. Amen."  T-Shirt (385)
(CBS San Francisco) Scary Man wearing bomb walks into a law office and threatens to blow everyone up. He's not a terrorist friend of Obama's -- yet  T-Shirt (48)
(CNN) News DOW closes with biggest point gain in history  T-Shirt (233)
(ABC News) Obvious Bush's job approval rating now lower than Nixon's lowest rating, according to a poll that proves 23 percent of Americans aren't paying attention  T-Shirt (465)
(Winston-Salem Journal) Strange Teen changes her name to website address to prevent students from dissecting chicken wings in class. Cost to change your name: $150. People she will persuade: 0. The stupidity: Priceless (184)
(Some Arrowhead Guy) Obvious Unauthorized ancient relic hunting is driven, by and large, by meth-heads  T-Shirt (73)
(TC Palm) Florida Police say driver offered marijuana to pay for McDonald's order  T-Shirt (54)
(Washington Post) Ironic Ballot measure would limit ballot measures  T-Shirt (79)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Strange There's a new world record for cockroaches in your mouth thanks to some overachiever from Kentucky  T-Shirt (64)
(MyFOXPhilly) NewsFlash Motorist claiming to have explosives has shut down one of Philadelphia's busiest roads during rush hour (with video)  T-Shirt (358)
(Spike) Fail Top 10 craziest concept cars. Or as we know them -- crap  T-Shirt (144)
(Daily Star) Amusing Aliens will land on Earth at midday tomorrow. It must be true, the bookies have stopped taking bets on it  T-Shirt (317)
(AJC) Asinine Step 1: Be made to wait two hours for a brain scan. Step 2: Become partially paralyzed. Step 3: Profit  T-Shirt (66)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this musical pair (42)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Asinine High school introduces a new vocational training program for the special-ed kids that has them doing janitorial work  T-Shirt (208)
(YouTube) Silly Sammy Hagar is now six years older than the speed limit he can't drive. About time to take his license, and all that jive  T-Shirt (79)
(The Hill) Florida The congressman who replaced Mark Foley is embroiled in his own sex scandal. When did his affair start? When he was campaigning on a morals platform for Foley's vacated seat  T-Shirt (178)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Prominent literature critic refuses TV prize before live audience because he says everything on television is rubbish  T-Shirt (82)
(CNN) Interesting The Great Depression holds lessons for surviving tough economy. Parsnip soup, eh? We'll make parsnip pie  T-Shirt (120)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Draping a house in toilet paper as a prank? That's a shootin'  T-Shirt (211)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Twenty-five years ago today, the first cell-phone call was dropped  T-Shirt (96)
(NYPost) Silly Won't someone please think of the loan sharks loaning money to subprime borrowers in danger of defaulting?  T-Shirt (109)
(NYPost) Unlikely Majority of brides-to-be think sex will get steamier after they marry, if by steamier they mean their husbands falling asleep waiting for them while they take a long, hot shower  T-Shirt (510)
(The Moscow Times) Asinine Policemen busted for looting air crash victims' belongings, stealing valuables that baggage handlers somehow missed  T-Shirt (21)
(Metro) Cool Beer surge to bring peace to Iraq. With absolutely gold Metro photo caption  T-Shirt (51)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida "The driver got out of the car and immediately peed on himself while asking the deputy if he was in trouble"  T-Shirt (21)
(Spiegel) Dumbass Bad day: You get stuck in an elevator and have to call the fire department to get rescued. Really bad day: The firefighters notice the four laptops you just stole and call the cops on your broke ass (15)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not news: Airports, like hospitals, keep a box of amusing X-rays. Fark: They sneak them into official reports (page 11, X-rayed bag)  T-Shirt (81)
(WFTV) Florida Man playing with pet rat accidentally sets ribbon tied to rat's tail on fire. Hilarity ensues after flaming, terrified rat attempts to outrun fire  T-Shirt (102)
(CNN) Silly Old and busted: Being cranky and depressed from lack of sleep and no sex for six weeks. New hotness: "Male post-partum depression"  T-Shirt (92)
(The Local (Germany)) Asinine Neo-Nazi clothes shop owner in Hamburg escapes violent left-wing protests by the skin of his teeth. Just kidding, he was paid €800,000 to set up elsewhere  T-Shirt (112)
(FARK) Obvious This headline would look terrible on a shirt  T-Shirt (693)
(BBC) Stupid Latest "art installation" (read: Pretentious nonsense) to hit London's Tate Gallery: Bunk beds with dystopian novels on them. Ooohhhhh, deep  T-Shirt (125)
(The Register) Amusing "Summer's Eve contains 'a light, fresh fragrance that neutralises odour'... It might have added that applying it at 2,600 psi ensures long-lasting freshness"  T-Shirt (39)
(BBC) Interesting Good: St. Andrews may crumble into the sea, drowning hundreds of golfers. Bad: Not until 2050  T-Shirt (35)
(Local6) Florida Dough: For deer, a missing deer  T-Shirt (22)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Hitting the side of a McDonald's restaurant while driving drunk is a stupid idea. Doing so when a police officer is parked a few feet away is infinitely stupider  T-Shirt (40)
(Local6) Scary The baseball furies are wanted for murder, Cyrus in protective custody  T-Shirt (66)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this car of the future (63)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting German anglers discover left arm on riverbank, lending credence to their claims that the one that got away was at least two feet bigger  T-Shirt (19)
(WTMJ) Asinine Wisconsin city turns into a nanny state, banning kids from bringing cupcakes, candy and other treats to pass out at school. Betty Crocker working on new career as school district lobbyist (79)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Man seems surprised his estranged wife led the cops to him. All he asked her for was a ride to Mexico after fatally shooting his mother-in-law  T-Shirt (12)
(London Times) Amusing "I want a woman who is prepared to admit that what she wants from a man is a big c*** and a lot of money." Six writers describe the ideal woman  T-Shirt (469)
(Yahoo) Strange News: Germans come out in force to mark the death of a Prussian field marshall in a rare act of remembrance. Fark: He was Scottish  T-Shirt (23)
(CNN) Unlikely CNN's top reporting team of Crackhead and Freebase says stocks are poised to rally... just like they said Friday morning  T-Shirt (113)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Lawyer representing rapist claims that victim isn't really traumatized because there's a picture of her smiling seven years later  T-Shirt (74)
(ninemsn.com.au) Cool "Fauxmosexuals" apparently leaving a trail of emotional destruction, hot photos  T-Shirt (283)
(Gizmodo) Spiffy Black silicon introduced, immediately outperforms traditional silicon in light sensitivity, most sports  T-Shirt (88)
(MSNBC) Interesting World markets explode like a cow with dynamite in its stomach as world governments seek solutions to financial crisis  T-Shirt (136)
(Daily Star) Interesting Unexpected consequence of economic meltdown: Sales of maternity clothes and baby items soar as couples can no longer afford to go out so they stay home and reluctantly have sex with each other (76)
(Some Guy) Cool The turkey is in the oven, the Stamps are playing the Roughies on Monday afternoon and proper beer is flowing like water north of the border. The signs point to only one thing: It's Canadian Thanksgiving, eh? (70)
(Time) Interesting Economists assert current financial crisis could have been avoided if traders followed Jewish traditions written in the Bible and the Talmud. You have to admit, whipping the crap out of some moneychangers sounds pretty good right now (75)
(News.com.au) Interesting A teen girl from Australia weighing nearly 300 pounds wins her nation's first sumo wrestling medal in almost three decades at the World Sumo Championships (with pic)  T-Shirt (169)
(Telegraph) Amusing The Women's Institute, that bastion of prim and proper English old ladies, has produced a sex guide  T-Shirt (31)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this snooper (42)
(wiba) Interesting UW Madison instructor shows railroad scene from "Blazing Saddles" to class. Black student complains, gets refund and apology. Oddly, no white students complained about paying to watch part of an awful movie (227)
(WSAZ) Scary Man in Ohio gives new meaning to house boat  T-Shirt (20)
(Daily Mail) Strange Widow turns off all the lights in her house and lives by candlelight to protest her "crazy" electric bills. Because it takes crazy to fight crazy  T-Shirt (50)
(International Herald Tribune) Dumbass Pope denounces anti-Christian violence. Christian violence still OK  T-Shirt (101)
(News.com.au) Silly Politician shocked, SHOCKED, to find that "escort service" may be a euphemism for "prostitution"  T-Shirt (23)
(Daily Star) Stupid Local government blows $800,000 hypnotising staff to "be ready for the future." Yes, really  T-Shirt (13)
(New York Daily News) Cool World pizza-eating record broken by champion hot-dog eater: 45 slices in 10 minutes  T-Shirt (48)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Arguing with homeless woman about Jeebus? That's a braining with a beer bottle  T-Shirt (6)
(London Times) Amusing Woman writes in diary every day without fail from 1941-2008. Actual entry: "President Kennedy was assassinated as he drove through Dallas today. Shot through the head. Baked macaroons and scones. Did knitting" (119)
(Some Guy) Obvious Police chase a naked woman for 28 miles in desperate attempt to buy her a drink and get to know her  T-Shirt (29)
(CNN) Interesting Tropical storm Nana expected to weaken, slow down, wonder why you never call  T-Shirt (42)
(SFGate) Strange Today's California wildfires started by... a rock. Tiger repellant properties of said rock unknown at this time  T-Shirt (57)
(ninemsn.com.au) Dumbass Two men get dragon tattoos across their faces in order to secure "intelligence" jobs. Needless to say, they were not hired (pics)  T-Shirt (126)