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Sun November 09, 2008
(Stuff) Stupid Armenian and Greek Orthodox worshippers celebrate Feast of the Cross with right cross, left cross, bash-you-in-the-head-with-a cross  T-Shirt (27)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Something good has come from this election after all, as hundreds of families across our great nation decide to get a Trig of their very own  T-Shirt (56)
(Daily Express) Dumbass Scientists spend $6,500,000 on an experiment to see if chimpanzees, parrots, ravens and pigeons can talk  T-Shirt (90)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Hero Bacon....A link to an announcement...bacon... concerning a new... bacon...appetizer on the... bacon...menu in.. bacon....Chicago... bacon-bacon-bacon-bacon  T-Shirt (101)
(Canada.com) Stupid 'Dexter' blamed for brutal murder in Canada. Stupid tag dumps the body of Asinine tag in the harbour  T-Shirt (72)
(MSNBC) Sick Thirty years ago, Jim Jones taught the world the meaning of "Drinking the Kool-Aid". LGT many stories, all beyond sad  T-Shirt (167)
(BBC) Sad British hospitals increasingly treating children under age of 10 for alcohol poisoning, presumably after they tried to wash down the horror that is British food with something to make it palatable  T-Shirt (36)
(Some Guy) Sappy Man going blind gets wish to marry his fiancee early so he can remember how she looked in a wedding dress. Submitter's eyesight is kind of cloudy right now too for some reason  T-Shirt (36)
(Reuters) Interesting Lovecraft was right: Octopuses have common Antarctic ancestor. All hail Cthulhu  T-Shirt (96)
(News.com.au) Fail Australian government calls for global moratorium on capital punishment - AFTER letting Indonesia execute Bali bombers with no call for clemency  T-Shirt (86)
(Some skywatcher) Interesting Mysterious lights near Perrysburg, OH baffle some people. After further investigation, it is discovered that is it definitely not a street light  T-Shirt (76)
(News.com.au) Amusing Worst wedding EVAR. Including collapsing horses, spinal injuries and exploding cars. "I watch a show on TV called Wedding Nightmares but this tops anything I've seen on that" (pic)  T-Shirt (63)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this ham on the hoof (45)
(The Scotsman) Interesting Firing the nanny? Head of the Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents says "Absolute safety is not guaranteed". Oh, and there's a Royal Society for the Prevention of Accidents  T-Shirt (34)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting What President Obama's daily life will be like and how Dan Quayle got the Secret Service to protect him from a wild naked she-beast  T-Shirt (153)
(Denver Post) Scary Residents worry surge of cell phone towers disguised as trees may be exposing them to harmful microwave radiation, refuse to stand for it  T-Shirt (166)
(kitv.com) Weird My sardines bring all the sharks to the shore  T-Shirt (36)
(Patriot Ledger) Misc After decriminalization, Massachusetts police and prosecutors are upset that black city kids caught smoking pot will get the same no-criminal-record deal as suburban white kids  T-Shirt (275)
(Daily Star) Obvious All British men are fat, lazy slobs  T-Shirt (90)
(The Chattanoogan) Scary There is no end to the supply of ugly prostitutes in Chattanooga  T-Shirt (177)
(SLTrib) Obvious Non-profit eatery with no menu and no fixed prices has trouble paying employees, staying organized  T-Shirt (128)
(Examiner) Asinine Media "Great Depression" panic in high gear. (with bonus classic pic)  T-Shirt (356)
(SFGate) Interesting San Francisco bar celebrates the 56th anniversary of Irish Coffee with clog dancers, bagpipes, and a 12-gallon goblet of caffeinated whisky goodness  T-Shirt (46)
(Washington Post) Interesting Champlain beat Pilgrims to Plymouth, yanked arrow from neck while fighting Native Americans (who loved him), couldn't swim but shot rapids in bark canoes, and was gourmet with "taste for moose meat and beaver tail"  T-Shirt (55)
(Washington Post) Obvious Washington D.C. facing a larger influx of freeloaders than usual on inauguration day, not just the politicians this time  T-Shirt (124)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida A how-to on reading aloud to your kids. Because this is something that needs explaining  T-Shirt (74)
(WFTV) Florida State troopers shut down roads, locked down schools and called out bloodhounds for a man kinda dressed like an inmate  T-Shirt (34)
(Daily Mail) Silly Today's outrage-causing BBC broadcast involves an electrocuted squirrel. That's just nuts  T-Shirt (43)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these guys watching video the hard way (42)
(The Scotsman) Hero Lift a glass to Alfred Gibbins, the soldier who has been awarded the last posthumous medal for service during the First World War  T-Shirt (31)
(Some Taco) Amusing Sunday funnies: If state signs were more truthful  T-Shirt (149)
(SLTrib) Amusing Columnist's real quote: "What's more harmful to society - two well-dressed men getting married and settling down, or two idiots tying the knot and cranking out any number of additional idiots?"  T-Shirt (442)
(AP) Followup Hurricane Paloma slams into Cuba, causing millions of dollars in improvements  T-Shirt (38)
(WLBT) Asinine School officials will not allow students to talk about President-Elect Barack Obama in class or in the hallways. When asked by reporters about this, school officials covered their ears and shouted "la la la la la la la la la"  T-Shirt (291)
(News.com.au) Spiffy $14 bra gives woman more support than she could have ever imagined: life support  T-Shirt (53)
(MSNBC) Interesting The tale of the Swiss nerd who tried to kill Hitler  T-Shirt (55)
(News.com.au) Asinine Taxpayers foot the bill for prisoners' PlayStations, pay-per-view TV, and movies. What? No lobster dinners?  T-Shirt (76)
(Some Guy) Stupid Somebody please dust off an Imelda Marcos joke for this one  T-Shirt (49)
(Sioux City Journal) Sad Largest catfish in captivity dies. Funeral to be Sunday with fish fry afterward  T-Shirt (101)
(Yahoo) Sad At least 20 die in accident on Russian nuclear sub. This is not a repeat from 2002...or 1997...or 1992...or 1987...or 1982  T-Shirt (146)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Theme: cat battles. Link goes to inspiration (61)

Sat November 08, 2008
(DivineCaroline dot com) Scary A photo tour of the eerie amusement parks of North Korea: "The 'Wheel of Death' at Kaeson Youth Park is notorious for ejecting riders. There are no safety straps and it apparently spins very quickly." Wheeeee  T-Shirt (212)
(Daily Mail) Sappy This little penguin is so lonesome, wait until you see what it's cuddling up with  T-Shirt (107)
(1010WINS) Stupid NJ to close bathrooms in state parks on weekends, because nobody goes to a park on the weekend when most people are off from work  T-Shirt (78)
(ABC News) Strange This holiday season, you have another thing to worry about: whether the stores where you bought your gift cards will go out of business before they can be redeemed  T-Shirt (108)
(Wx Underground) Interesting Hmmm... Castro near death.. Cat-4 hurricane hitting the island.. Democrat taking the White House.. a perfect storm leading to normalized relations with Cuba?  T-Shirt (176)
(NYPost) Followup Contractor and homeowner learn an important lesson: The next time you find $182,000 in Depression-era currency hidden in a wall, keep your big yap shut about it  T-Shirt (174)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Rock breaks scissors. Scissors cut paper. Car crushes the hell out of ex-boyfriend's foot  T-Shirt (31)
(Use The Centrifugal Force Luke) Photoshop Photoshop this centrifugal clutch (104)
(NYPost) Asinine Company hires tobacco-sniffing dogs to make sure employees aren't secretly smoking on the job  T-Shirt (100)
(Some Guy) Weird Questions linger regarding the Obama administration: How will they deal with the economic crisis? Will they withdraw troops from Iraq? Will they disclose the truth about the massive UFO cover up by the U.S. national security state since 1947?  T-Shirt (125)
(Some Guy) Interesting Christian fraternities are growing in popularity on campuses across America. "We consider the pledges to be brothers in Christ, and we treat them that way."  T-Shirt (184)
(Toronto Star) Interesting Reporter solves most important mystery in Canadian history: Who really invented poutine?  T-Shirt (74)
(Cracked) Obvious Jobs you wanted as a kid, but which really suck worse than your actual job  T-Shirt (214)
(MSNBC) Spiffy One great thing about the economic crisis: less junk mail  T-Shirt (42)
(Yahoo) Amusing Chivalry on the first date: "Here's the coupon, the lady will have something of equal or lesser value"  T-Shirt (259)
(OK! Magazine) Dumbass France announces it is to 'tax tall people' $80 for flying  T-Shirt (178)
(Boston Globe) Obvious Your tax dollars at work: government-funded study finds drivers don't believe speed limits are based on safety  T-Shirt (65)
(Sign On San Diego) Asinine Police recover 272 stolen items from the homes of two LAX baggage workers arrested for theft. TSA workers point and laugh since 460 of them have been fired for stealing since 2003  T-Shirt (221)
(Abc.net.au) Strange Woman has twins from 13-year-old sperm, surprisingly is not a schoolteacher  T-Shirt (66)
(AP) Obvious Parents pull kids from day care to allow Mother TV to raise them in Mother TV's image. Hail Mother TV full of Will and Grace  T-Shirt (70)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Woman returns stolen Yorkie puppy to owner, upset at not getting promised $5,000 reward. In hindsight, she probably shouldn't have admitted she knew the person who stole it and planned to split the reward money with him  T-Shirt (84)
(Daily Express) Amusing Nanny state bans toys in medical centres. And this kid is NOT happy  T-Shirt (60)
(Daily Mail) Photoshop Photoshop this Brighton Pier jumper (33)
(Independent.ie) Ironic World's most popular chef says, 'I fancy a McDonald's'  T-Shirt (163)
(AP) Cool Old and busted: competitive eating. New hotness: Librarian book cart drill team  T-Shirt (42)
(Fox News) Interesting Mexican army seizes 540 firearms, 165 grenades, 14 sticks of TNT and a half million rounds of ammunition from drug cartel. Shoot, a fella could have a pretty good weekend in Vegas with all that stuff  T-Shirt (86)
(Seacoastonline.com) Asinine Cops from six agencies using 'mobile DUI command" rig, stop 480 drivers, arrest 8, annoy 400. "Do the math" tag unavailable  T-Shirt (298)
(Ric Romero) Obvious Study shows elevated death risk after heart attack. No word on Elevated death risk after plane crash, alien invasion or thermonuclear weapons exchange  T-Shirt (34)
(Some Guy) Cool Cat falls 17 floors from Toronto highrise, lives to see another Caturday  T-Shirt (458)
(NW Florida Daily News) Sappy Woman rides motorcycle for first time in her life on her 85th birthday  T-Shirt (41)
(St. Petersburg Times) Hero After getting tied up and robbed, Badass of the Year candidate breaks free and shoots would-be robbers  T-Shirt (67)
(Hans) Photoshop Photoshop this road trip (54)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida You know you're not going home after traffic stop when DUI suspect already in police car calls out: "He's as drunk as I am."  T-Shirt (26)
(The Record) Cool Ugly-ass squirrel/skunk hybrid discovered. You better believe there's a pic  T-Shirt (109)
(ABC News) Sad Mike Wooten taken off patrols because he is being harrassed and threatened by Palin Supporters  T-Shirt (242)
(Orlando Sentinel) Cool One benefit of Hurricane Ike - insurance companies are dumping storm-damaged yachts they now own at rock-bottom prices  T-Shirt (30)
(Assembler) Cool Great physics based game. Use the moveable objects to place the green crate in the green square. Simple concept, great execution  T-Shirt (155)
(Fox News) Interesting Actual headline: Fox News scores boobies-election interview with Sarah Palin  T-Shirt (271)

Fri November 07, 2008
(Examiner) Interesting Sex staves off the common cold, relieves headaches and cures arthritis. No wonder married people are sick all of the time  T-Shirt (88)
(IdahoNews) Dumbass Man gets bitten by mosquito; sues state for $3 million  T-Shirt (77)
(London Times) Strange University profs given advice they need, and which was apparently never covered during their own doctoral studies, such as "make sure your underwear fits"  T-Shirt (62)
(MSNBC) Sad 8 year-old arrested in double homicide  T-Shirt (299)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Weekly TSG Mugshot roundup. Be careful. #16 hasn't had her shots  T-Shirt (316)
(BBC) Obvious Inspectors say zoo's fence is inadequate, reptile exhibit "bland and non-stimulating." Well, maybe until said reptiles escape through inadequate fencing  T-Shirt (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this unrolly couple (34)
(London Times) Unlikely In latests statistic pulled out of some guy's ass, high gas prices estimated to have saved more than 140 lives so far this year  T-Shirt (51)
(WA Today) Interesting A very poignant article about a black White House butler who served in eight administrations. For best results, read the entire article  T-Shirt (323)
(WTAM) Interesting Teen survives trash compactor. Local droid praised for quick action  T-Shirt (45)
(KGW) Amusing So what if the new mayor is an auto mechanic? Oh THAT kind of tranny  T-Shirt (103)
(Daily Express) Obvious Good things to name your new ship after: your wife, your daughter, your favorite mythical figure. Bad things: high-ranking Nazi SS officials  T-Shirt (179)
(News.com.au) Scary Qantas discovers aircraft maintenance engineer who's been certifying planes for the last two years is a fraud. His focus on ball bearings should have been a tip off  T-Shirt (95)
(Daily Star) Asinine Nanny state bans workers from eating sandwiches  T-Shirt (139)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Kids freak the hell out after teacher makes them close their eyes and go through a visualization of the Holocaust  T-Shirt (385)
(JSOnline) Dumbass Today's "guy siphoning gasoline uses lighter to check the level" story brought to you by the state of Wisconsin and a loud, sudden whooshing sound  T-Shirt (54)
(WTAM) Scary Today's bad choice for kindergarten show and tell is * shakes Magic 8 Ball * ...a hand grenade  T-Shirt (63)
(MSNBC) Weird "Sir, I'll have to ask you and your 12 pigs to step out of the car"  T-Shirt (26)
(SeattlePI) Interesting Animal shelter uncertain what to do after receiving a cock in a box. Unaware that Step 1 is "cut a hole in the box"  T-Shirt (71)
(Rocky Mountain News) Asinine Remember that time we went streaking on Halloween and had to register as sex offenders? That was hilarious  T-Shirt (126)
(CBC) Obvious Syphilis raging through Canadians living in the Northwest Territories, at least along the handful whose primary sexual organs haven't frozen off  T-Shirt (63)
(Some Bad Deal) Obvious "Body found in street identified as Marijuana Thompson. Police believe the shooting to be drug related"  T-Shirt (150)
(OK! Magazine) Amusing Mariah Carey arrives in London for a three-day stay...with 27 bags of luggage  T-Shirt (109)
(Drew) FarkBlog There's bad ads running on Fark lately and we're going to kill the people responsible. We could use your help (444)
(ABC News) Interesting Brain-imaging studies show that bullies' brains are hard-wired to feel pleasure at the suffering of others. Researchers refer to this as "Cheney syndrome"  T-Shirt (121)
(BBC) Strange Spunky thieves shoot off with huge load of bull semen  T-Shirt (45)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Denver Police, apparently unhappy with lack of violent protests at DNC, staged one themselves using undercover cops. FARK: One cop got confused and hit co-workers with pepper spray. Awkward  T-Shirt (131)
(USA Today) Dumbass If you are angry about a school assignment, the proper response is NOT to leave 11 terroristic notes around the school. You would think a teacher would know that  T-Shirt (43)
(WPXI) Dumbass When stealing an old lady's purse, don't leave a phone at the scene that has a text message saying, "I'm ready to grab some old lady's purse"  T-Shirt (46)
(Top of the Nudes) Dumbass Can you see me now? Naked man climbs cell phone tower, tries to boost reception with his antenna  T-Shirt (31)
(Free Press) Amusing Actual headline: "Teens spared by a bowling ball in freeway shooting; gunman splits"  T-Shirt (80)
(Houston Chronicle) Scary U.S. unemployment rate hits 14-year high of 6.5%, although productivity has been steadily declining since some website went up in 1999  T-Shirt (172)
(Spiegel) Dumbass Austrian journalist says he "wouldn't want the Western world to be directed by a black man", says Obama has a "devil-like talent to present his rhetoric so effectively. Then went out and punched a kangaroo  T-Shirt (249)
(Daily Mail) Cool Republican lawyers heading to Alaska to retrieve $150,000 worth of designer clothes  T-Shirt (661)
(Salon) Obvious Dear Baby Booomers: We GenX'ers were wrong and you were right. Go figure, huh?  T-Shirt (512)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Obvious Russian pilots admit being over the legal drink limit for flying after having four pints of beer because it "tasted a bit watery" compared with beer in their own country  T-Shirt (38)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Stupid Forgetfulness can be costly. This is especially true when you are robbing a convenience store and set the bag of money down on the counter  T-Shirt (13)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Driver attempts to pass Obama motorcade, gets faceful of Sig Sauer P229s for his efforts  T-Shirt (284)
(Yahoo) Ironic China tells rich polluting nations to change their lifestyle  T-Shirt (81)
(BBC) Obvious Georgian citizens protest against leader starting war with Russia. Apparently a country the size of West Virginia attacking the second largest nuclear superpower in the world is frowned upon  T-Shirt (88)
(New Zealand Herald) Sad People who bought homes next to a golf resort become the latest victims of the mortgage crisis after the resort is sold and they no longer get to golf for free. If you can even imagine the inhumanity  T-Shirt (148)
(Some giant in the playground) Followup Remember that headline about Christian Children's Fund not wanting the $17,000 raised by GenCon because it came from D&D players? 1,200 emails later, the CCF would like to clarify their position a bit  T-Shirt (146)
(SMH) Sappy Ugly-ass pygmy hippo born in Sydney, Australia (with pics)  T-Shirt (35)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this test tube technician (45)
(US-101) Sad After a night of drinking, man takes off-duty officer's handgun, pointing it at his own head, and pulls the trigger. Parents of victim now blame officer  T-Shirt (217)
(The Local (Sweden)) Ironic Top civil servant in Sweden's equality ministry resigns after "embassy breast attack"  T-Shirt (62)
(Telegraph) Scary Bad: Having a stroke. Very bad: which blinds you. Icing on the cake: you're flying solo at 15,000 feet at the time  T-Shirt (94)
(Telegraph) Obvious Internet generation found to be bad jurors who are easily distrac  T-Shirt (81)
(Stuff) Interesting New Zealanders vote the Kakapo "bird of the year" after write in campaign for Scarlett Johansson fails  T-Shirt (43)
(News.com.au) Cool Niiiiiice  T-Shirt (250)
(Komo) Dumbass Minister sentenced for stealing wedding gifts. Hey, that's what happens when you get your minister from Craigslist  T-Shirt (20)
(Reuters) Strange Problem: Air Force major concerned that his penchant for shopping for women's underwear might be considered a bit girly. Solution: shop while naked, to convince others he's all man  T-Shirt (37)
(Yahoo) Sick Kentucky man accused of leaving his wheelchair-bound sister's mummified body in his car trunk pleaded not guilty to a felony Thursday, because, in a bigger and more inclusive sense, don't we all have a mummified sister in our car trunks? (46)
(Telegraph) Dumbass If you must get on bus with your neighbor's head in a bag, make sure there aren't any CCTV cameras on the vehicle first (pic)  T-Shirt (70)
(CSMonitor) Asinine In 1958, Disney solidified the urban legend about lemmings committing mass suicide..by throwing dozens of lemmings off a cliff and then filming them drowning  T-Shirt (163)
(wlbz2.com) Dumbass Just because your state allows medical marijuana, don't expect the local police to try and find out who stole yours  T-Shirt (55)
(The Register) Dumbass Man responsible for checking security of staff responsible for checking security of security staff has been sacked  T-Shirt (27)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Going to steal a moped? Perhaps choosing a 52-year old golden glove boxer's moped isn't such a bright idea: "I threw a couple punches... I was ready to dance a little bit"  T-Shirt (69)
(ABC News) Obvious South Dakota buried under four feet of snow in freak November blizzard. Or maybe it happened last month and nobody noticed until now  T-Shirt (104)
(Yahoo) Weird Dude uses mushrooms to make violin sound like a Stradivarius. Like, wow, man  T-Shirt (64)
(News.com.au) Stupid "Only when I got home and I invited some friends and the baby's godparents to see her did I notice my girl had a penis. I was paralysed"  T-Shirt (132)
(WFTV) Florida Distraught man attempts record for most number of broken laws in 30 minutes  T-Shirt (31)
(Yahoo) Stupid Old and busted: swimming with dolphins. New hotness: swimming with massive saltwater crocodiles. "It's for the adrenaline junkies"  T-Shirt (37)
(Daily Mail) Asinine When you pick up a can of Coke in the near future in the EU, it's going to look like this: coke INGREDIENTS HIGH FRUCTOSE CORN SYRUP  T-Shirt (205)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop these steel spirals (40)
(Daily Mail) Obvious It's so easy to find a soulmate on the internet, even a pony can do it  T-Shirt (44)
(Some Guy) Amusing 52-year-old man busted for drunk driving informs the cop that he knows karate and has been working out  T-Shirt (51)
(AJC) Scary Locksmith helping a woman get into her home ends up doing naked push-ups in the street. Then it gets weird  T-Shirt (71)
(AP) Amusing If you are going to keep your dog in your car while you wash it be sure that he doesn't know how to drive  T-Shirt (55)
(UPI) Cool Police in Greensboro, N.C., said a woman scared off an attempted robber by praying too loudly for the suspect's comfort  T-Shirt (83)

Thu November 06, 2008
(Reuters) Interesting China's Snow beer brand now second biggest in the world. A licky boom boom down  T-Shirt (156)
(Scientific American) Misc Eighth Annual World Toilet Summit and Expo taking place in Macau, China. Organizers flush with success  T-Shirt (28)
(No Babies for You) Hero Ever wondered, "Why do they let people like that keep having kids?" Well, the Dutch parliament did, and they're doing something about it  T-Shirt (369)
(Some Gator) Florida Wife bites husband after taunting him during Florida-Georgia game last weekend. With temporary tattoo mugshot goodness  T-Shirt (71)
(CBS News) Weird Man driving nude on I-84 charged with indecent exposure, breach of peace, improper use of gear shift  T-Shirt (41)
(CBC) Amusing Underwear-clad high school girls shooting silly string. Ah, memories  T-Shirt (179)
(AP) Dumbass A bar patron learns the hard way that gum wrappers are not currency  T-Shirt (34)
(Denver Channel) Dumbass FBI: Let's call them the "Too Tall" bank robbers Article: Suspects are 5'7" and 5'10"  T-Shirt (33)
(Washington Times) Interesting Antigua wants to rename it's highest peak Mount Obama in attempt to draw thousands of female climbers  T-Shirt (110)
(Daily Mail) Sick 100 tons of trash found in home, piled from floor to ceiling in every room (pics)  T-Shirt (214)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this sour slice (56)
(Some Guy) Fail Not News: 17 year old throws herself a birthday party, News: servers alcohol to all regardless of age with her parents permission. Fark: Drunk 15 year old wrecks her parents car which she took w/o permission With family mugshots  T-Shirt (147)
(AP) Asinine What's Brown and Sticky?  T-Shirt (130)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass Colleges now increasingly rejecting applicants because of what they put on their Facebook pages  T-Shirt (171)
(Some Guy) Amusing So 10 dogs, one cat, and one donkey walk into a Kentucky mayors office  T-Shirt (38)
(AP) Followup Former NY Governor Eliot Spitzer (D-Horny) will not face criminal charges for voting to approve prostitution  T-Shirt (83)
(The Sun) Amusing Origami expert Won Park, of Hawaii, has made his cash go a long way by making replica film spaceships out of dollar bills. To foldly go  T-Shirt (75)
(NBC 11) Amusing "Release the hounds." The First Dog (not the first dog-elect) Bites Reporter, film at 11  T-Shirt (165)
(Some Guy) Fail Obama campaign workers: "I want my money today It's my money. I want it right now" Staff: "Yeah, um, about that..." (with Video goodness)  T-Shirt (525)
(London Times) Asinine Brits refuse to air "graphic" TV ad in desperate attempt to emulate the French. Video in linked page less graphic than CSI  T-Shirt (60)
(MSNBC) Ironic What better place to put the new Israeli Museum of Tolerance than on an ancient Muslim burial ground?  T-Shirt (145)
(Some Gambler) Obvious In the first full day after Obama was elected to be President, Illinois Evening Pick 3 lottery number drawn was 6-6-6. Could it be....Satan?  T-Shirt (348)
(CBC) Strange Environmentalists urge Canadians to ditch their weedkillers and lawn mowers and buy goats instead  T-Shirt (205)
(NWLA News) Obvious After stealing a bottle of Grey Goose vodka, don't hide in the water with a large alligator  T-Shirt (82)
(retroblast.com) Sad Last ball: the final pinball manufacturer in the world may be closing its doors  T-Shirt (337)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Mahmoud Ahmadinejad is so happy Obama won he promises not to start calling him The Great Satan until next week  T-Shirt (280)
(FARK) PSA A spammer ate the 4,000,000th link and all I got was this lousy T-Shirt  T-Shirt (3530)
(Times-Herald) Dumbass Man attempts to clear cobwebs from eaves of house using a blowtorch. I think you know how this story ends  T-Shirt (123)
(Syracuse) Stupid Police, 2 fire trucks, a boat and a helicopter rescue wading fisherman who had no idea he was in mortal danger of not catching any walleye  T-Shirt (62)
(Evening Leader) Obvious £1.5m grant received to fix up an "embarrassment to Wales." No, not Timothy Dalton. No, not Duffy, either  T-Shirt (52)
(Boston Globe) Followup Apparently worried about its "strength of schedule" the Obama Campaign is trying to improve its BCS ranking by running up the score, adding 15 more electoral votes today  T-Shirt (291)
(Telegram) Photoshop Photoshop this kid and his shopping cart (43)
(Politico) Followup Rep. Rahm Emanuel to play Leo McGarry in new season of the West Wing  T-Shirt (245)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida A gal can certainly never have too much makeup or too many dog sweaters. With mug shot goodness  T-Shirt (73)
(CNN) Unlikely The Brits are now cliaming they invented baseball because of some bit of dialogue in a Jane Austen novel  T-Shirt (167)
(11 Alive) Amusing Burglars make off with Dog of Peace (tm) but leave behind two cats  T-Shirt (60)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Yes we can...get arrested  T-Shirt (481)
(NYPost) Dumbass "Inside Edition" catches Manhattan court officers having liquid lunches at the Whiskey Tavern. Court officers' union spokesman quoted as saying, "Was that wrong? Were they not supposed to do that?"  T-Shirt (80)
(Metro) Florida Police find crack pipe in woman's butt crack, now need psychological counseling, eye bleach  T-Shirt (81)
(Daily Herald) Unlikely Amateur golfer has five holes-in-one in one week  T-Shirt (105)
(Albany Times Union) Fail Drunk man attempts to mount fiberglass horse. With video footage of spectacular failarity (122)
(KATU) Weird All that environmentally correct wind power we are generating? Seems it is killing salmon. Wait, what?  T-Shirt (266)
(LA Times) Interesting It doesn't only happen in the movies: Los Angeles traffic engineers admit to hacking into computer system and disabling traffic signals at four critical intersections as part of a union job action  T-Shirt (52)
(WTAM) Obvious Bar holding Obama rally offered free drinks for every state won. Can you guess how this ended?  T-Shirt (105)
(London Times) Followup Kim Jong Il pic: Photoshop Fail shadows don't match  T-Shirt (190)
(WBBM) Fail Ding. You are now free to be duct-taped to your seat. (w/ not even for the mile high club pic)  T-Shirt (84)
(Some Hungry Guy) Cool It is National Frozen Pizza For Supper Day, or something like that  T-Shirt (119)
(USA Today) Scary Airstrikes in Afghanistan increase 31 percent. Which is the same percentage of people who support Bush. Which is also how many planes of existence Buddhism has and a number in my hotel room last weekend. Am I trapped on some island?  T-Shirt (65)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Dumbass Stupid ways of celebrating an Obama victory #2: Taking off all your clothes and going for a jog. Then again, what else are you going to do in Minneapolis?  T-Shirt (80)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this triumphant titan (62)
(Daily Mail) Sad Eight-year-old girls are now throwing makeover parties  T-Shirt (203)
(Reuters) Followup Most popular baby name in the U.S. could soon be 'Obama', even among boy babies  T-Shirt (328)
(AP) Amusing You might be too drunk to drive if you drive away in someone else's car and think it's yours. Then again, if you can still steal a car...who am I to judge?  T-Shirt (38)
(Canada.com) Dumbass This just in: scalpers rip people off  T-Shirt (55)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 183: "On the Farm". Details and rules in the first post. LGT next week's theme (270)

Wed November 05, 2008
(Some Guy) Interesting Survey reveals the strange things drivers keep in the trunks of their cars, including trampolines, mounted stag heads and unopened Christmas presents from two years ago  T-Shirt (146)
(Daily Mail) Obvious The question of our age: Why do women get tramp stamps? "They are a mark of temporary insanity, instantly turning the classiest, chicest woman into trailer trash"  T-Shirt (633)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Man arrested for child neglect after leaving two young kids alone at home. To be fair, he gave the girl a hunting knife, ax, and baseball bat to defend herself if something went wrong  T-Shirt (49)
(WTAM) Spiffy Model's underwear meets bottom line. Heh. "Bottom"  T-Shirt (38)
(Some Guy) Hero Researchers discover chemical that prevents weight gain, regardless of diet. Still no cure for canc...Cure for fattie? ALL IS WON  T-Shirt (212)
(9 News) Sick Man accused of following library patron around, asking her if she'd seen his copy of "The Salami Also Rises"  T-Shirt (39)
(CBS Miami) Fail 6'2", 320 lb 18-year-old rides off on his bicycle after cutting his mother who shut off his MySpace access  T-Shirt (102)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Stupid Jubilant about Obama's victory, the prestigious Kappa Kappa Kappa fraternity celebrated with a grafitti spree on the campus of North Carolina State University  T-Shirt (211)
(AP) Dumbass "Excuse me, officer...I'll need my can back because I am not through huffing"  T-Shirt (53)
(IdahoNews) Dumbass Meat-head thief steals about $1,500 worth of beef from a grocery store. With a saucy, delicious mug shot  T-Shirt (36)
(Boston Globe) Cool The coolest photos of the next President of the United States you'll see today  T-Shirt (410)
(BBC) Strange Kenya declares a national holiday because a guy that wasn't born there and never lived there got elected president in another country  T-Shirt (160)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Kenyan woman gives birth to twins on election day.....Welcome to the world, Obama and Michelle  T-Shirt (52)
(AP) Spiffy Bhutan celebrates coronation of King Jigme Khesar Namgyal Wangchuck. EVERYBODY WANGCHUCK TONIGHT  T-Shirt (53)
(AP) Scary And the winner for the "Fastest one mile run with a rabid fox locked onto your arm" goes to an Arizona woman  T-Shirt (64)
(Silicon Alley Insider) Hero Obama brings back an endangered species: The newspaper industry. For one day  T-Shirt (110)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Former Patriots cheerleader was a church girl in high school, an angel for Halloween, and jobless by election day for drawing swastikas on her piss-drunk friend. With pics from her brief career  T-Shirt (215)
(Dlisted) Amusing Fox 11 news reporter on Obama victory party, live from Century city ballroom: "...We are also smelling just a little bit of weed in the air" (with video)  T-Shirt (107)
(Boston Herald) Spiffy Palin forced to go back to Alaska where, having been outside the state, she's now regarded as an alien  T-Shirt (161)
(Some Bovine Board) Photoshop Photoshop this black bull billboard (40)
(Some Guy) Cool Obama kids getting a new puppy. Considering a Russian Wolfhound and keeping it in back yard so they can see it from their house  T-Shirt (237)
(24 hours Vancouver) Strange Shrapnel pops out of WW2 veteran's face 63 years later  T-Shirt (58)
(TC Palm) Florida Injury: steal a man's identity and his debit card. Added insult: order a penis pump with the debit card, and have it delivered to the victim's house  T-Shirt (28)
(Canoe) Followup Let this be a lesson to you parents - let your kids play all the video games they want  T-Shirt (160)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Former senator John Edwards had a mistress, she had a baby, now the National Inquirer has the baby's dirty diaper. All it needs is some of Edwards' spit, or another body fluid, to do a paternity test  T-Shirt (85)
(NPR) Followup So, uh, about that Bradley Effect thingee  T-Shirt (175)
(Crooks & Liars) Dumbass The calls for assassination have already started. Stay classy, Fox News website commenters  T-Shirt (804)
(Some Guy) Obvious ADHD may hinder teens driving abiliWHOA LOOK AT THOSE TEEF  T-Shirt (72)
(23/6) Sappy It is clear now, if it wasn't before, what Bush's legacy is going to be: Obama  T-Shirt (214)
(Political Wire) Fail The McCain campaign made the decision to spend tens of millions of dollars and dozens of candidate visits to Pennsylvania based on an internal poll saying they were only down by 2%. Fail: it was an Obama internal poll  T-Shirt (143)
(SnackFeed) Dumbass Eddie Izzard admits to CNN that he illegally donated to Obama's campaign (153)
(Time) News Obama officially offers the Chief of Staff spot to Rahm Emanuel. So they've got Matt Santos and Josh Lyman, now they just need CJ and Toby  T-Shirt (387)
(Some Guy) Amusing Obama win bittersweet for Detroit residents hoping to riot  T-Shirt (207)
(NYPost) Obvious Ivana Trump refuses to believe her husband, who's 24 years her junior, cheated on her with a hot Italian model. Apparently her bathroom has no mirrors  T-Shirt (156)
(LA Times) Amusing Conservative Supreme Court justices are so far out of touch they don't think that kids know about the "F" word  T-Shirt (370)
(wdsu.com) Obvious Liquor truck overturns, offering free samples to passersby. EVERYBODY VODAK  T-Shirt (78)
(TheLostOgle) Ironic Remember that Tulsa reporter that went drunk driving through yards? He just covered a story about a man that plowed into a group of people while drunk  T-Shirt (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting ABC wins the battle of holographic sets, magic maps, and avuncular political anchors, although Fox gets a special mega-hottie mention for adding Megyn Kelly to its election night coverage (165)
(CNN) Interesting Social Conservatives get a mixed message on Election Day: No to abortion limits and fundie VP, yes to smacking down the gays  T-Shirt (1163)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Subliminal messages (73)
(NewsLite) Amusing Tattooed pigs banned from Chinese art show ... like pigs are going to buy modern artworks anyway  T-Shirt (28)
(CBS News) NewsFlash Michael Crichton dies of Andromeda Strain-related illness  T-Shirt (384)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Florida city to unleash hordes of bats in order to take care of insects. No word yet as to what they'll unleash in order to take care of the bats  T-Shirt (100)
(AP) Spiffy FCC to probe cable companies' "bend over and take it" pricing policies  T-Shirt (117)
(Arizona Star) Cool Joe Arpaio, "America's toughest sheriff," wins re-election yet again, crushing his opponent and enjoying the lamentation of the women  T-Shirt (257)
(The Sun) Obvious Study reveals teens use alcohol to get girls into bed. Quick, to the Romerocopter  T-Shirt (134)
(London Times) Obvious British government admits it was lying when it said it wouldn't use GPS trackers to charge people for driving, now promises it won't use them to issue speeding tickets. Yet  T-Shirt (136)
(MPR) Followup AP 'uncalls' Franken/Coleman race, leaves their chads hanging until December  T-Shirt (225)
(National Review) Amusing Historic youth vote up from 17% to a whopping 18%  T-Shirt (367)
(Tulsa World) Followup Lisa Foster, penis-pumping judge's former court reporter, gets $170,000 from state. Insiders say the state only offered $125,000, but inflated the offer after strenuous effort on Foster's part (52)
(Daily Beast) Obvious Obama is the new Ronald Reagan. Even an old Reagan speechwriter thinks so  T-Shirt (1085)
(CNN) Dumbass Man begs for release of woman who tried to have him and his kids killed, calling her "one of the nicest people you could ever know."  T-Shirt (64)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this silhouette (71)
(BBC) Cool World leaders react to the American election. President Bush also reacts, congratulating Obama for his "awesome night."  T-Shirt (991)
(AP) Amusing Bloomer bandit? Panty pilferer? Skivvies scrounger? Girdle gangster? Whichever, he stole two assloads of drawers  T-Shirt (48)
(Washington Post) Sad Children who live with adult smokers are more likely to be underfed and undernourished, know where the flavor is  T-Shirt (166)

Tue November 04, 2008
(Yahoo) Dumbass Date rapist rolls over and falls asleep after assaulting woman in backseat of her car, wakes up outside police station  T-Shirt (98)
(FARK) News Official election speeches thread: McCain concedes, Obama accepts  T-Shirt (3803)
(Telegraph) Dumbass New British government guidelines advise pet owners against allowing dogs to beg at the table  T-Shirt (47)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting McCain's plane aborts landing. Pro-life conservatives immediately switch their votes to Obama  T-Shirt (55)
(News.com.au) Asinine Getting sent to jail? Drink some weedkiller and have your husband abuse the judge  T-Shirt (12)
(Gawker) Amusing Help me, Wolf Blitzer, you're our only hope  T-Shirt (49)
(AP) Amusing Swiss police follow blood trail for 12 miles, are shocked to find it leads to a butcher shop  T-Shirt (15)
(CNN) NewsFlash Following historic election, America elects its second black president  T-Shirt (2134)
(Baltimore Sun) Spiffy Proving they're not all d-bags, cyclist finds $450 bank deposit and returns it to store  T-Shirt (62)
(Fox News) Followup Pricipal . Caught sayof voters that has stoped Republicans " See, told ya so" Is Barama winer or not. Fox News Says yes. St. Pete Times Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am write single to salute and wait for near presedint" (3078)
(Fox News) Interesting North Korea building new missile launch site capable of targeting the United States.....EVERYBODY PANIC  T-Shirt (131)
(Daily Express) Ironic Fat politician demands bigger school chairs for children who are fat like him. 'He's not a good role model. He loves beer and sandwiches'  T-Shirt (80)
(FARK) Interesting Georgia, South Carolina, Vermont, Virginia all closed now - here come the numbers. Next election discussion thread  T-Shirt (2055)
(Some Crap Hater) Amusing Man parks load of manure in front of Dem HQ, proclaiming Dem's message "a load of crap"  T-Shirt (69)
(News.com.au) Amusing Not news: woman lifts skirt, flashes backside and spanks herself for crowds at Gold Coast Indy. Fark: she's 37 and the magistrate told her she "should know better." With pic  T-Shirt (92)
(Some Plant Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this horticultural sketch (48)
(AP) Obvious Illinois is tense with heightened election day shenanigans: IL police take aggressive rooster into custody  T-Shirt (53)
(The Atlantic) PSA Early evening election thread - cable networks begin their election night programming at 5 PM EST. Have nothing to talk about for two hours  T-Shirt (1542)
(Daily Kos) PSA Philadelphia's voting machines hate Democrats, don't Barack the vote  T-Shirt (355)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Protip: If you're going to threaten the owner of an adult superstore for supporting you the day before people vote on your re-election, don't get caught on camera  T-Shirt (62)
(SeattlePI) Sad Tuba Man dies violently at 53. Zither Dude and Accordion Bro are still alive, just as ostracized by society  T-Shirt (121)
(Maxim) Hero In honor of election day: America's drunkest presidents  T-Shirt (154)
(Maxim) Amusing When voting goes bad: The world's most overlooked dictators  T-Shirt (85)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Austin tx 2 consider txt msg ban while dri  T-Shirt (104)
(USA Today) Interesting Farking Supreme Court shiatheads to rule on whether FCC can require networks to be their biatches, censor swearing on TV. Bunch of nubianrdly coonts. Boobies  T-Shirt (134)
(Washington Post) Obvious The CIA-controlled weather machine is disenfranchising voters in Virginia  T-Shirt (116)
(YouTube) Amusing So, what is it going to be like having a Black president? Let's flash back to this classic Richard Pryor (73)
(Some Guy) Hero Barack "Who's Sane" Obama puts Idaho and Utah in play with a call to end the BCS  T-Shirt (138)
(Canada.com) Amusing Monument erected in Toronto to gently remind Americans who won the War of 1812  T-Shirt (449)
(Cracked) Scary "We swear by the lightning that destroys / By the streams of generous blood being shed..." Six national anthems that could be mistaken for Slayer lyrics  T-Shirt (82)
(Breitbart.tv) Hero Fox reports voter intimidation by Black Panthers in Philadelphia. Still no confirmation on disruptions caused by Black Vulcans, Black Eagles, Storms, Power Men, Blades, Bumblebees, Static Shocks, Spawns, Lobos, Bishops, Cloaks or Harlem Hammers (764)
(Metro) Silly The long darkness is finally over, and you can now see the most beautiful goat in the whole of Saudi Arabia  T-Shirt (72)
(MSNBC) Strange Terrorist jellyfish attack nuclear reactor. Officials calling it the act of a bunch of spineless cowards  T-Shirt (67)
(Examiner) Amusing Unsexiest celebrity magazine covers of all time. With um, bonus pic of sex addict David Duchovny molesting a teacup  T-Shirt (97)
(Live Science) Unlikely Researcher determines that candidates keep promises, sky is pink  T-Shirt (58)
(CNN) Stupid Why you shouldn't vote early: The candidate you voted for might turn into a Nazi hours before the REAL election. And then what? Too late now. You've voted for a Nazi. You Nazi voter  T-Shirt (242)
(myTelus) Obvious Some yokels don't appreciate fine art, like rotting onions and potatoes hanging from the ceiling in condoms  T-Shirt (63)
(NJ.com) Dumbass If you're going to make counterfeit money poorly, don't use it to tip the dancers at the bar (with "How they'd figure that one out?" pic)  T-Shirt (84)
(FiveThirtyEight) PSA Ten reasons you should ignore exit polls  T-Shirt (179)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Florida Map of Florida voting problems. "Moron voter" not among choices for reporting problems  T-Shirt (121)
(Gawker) Amusing Barack Obama on towns trying to pass laws banning baggy pants: "Waste of time. Having said that, brothers should pull up their pants"  T-Shirt (367)
(Time) Dumbass Bill Ayers casts his vote at Beluah Shoesmith Elementary School in Chicago, reportedly does not blow anything up  T-Shirt (219)
(Slate) Interesting Five Election Day myths to resist. Keep these in mind as you go to the polls tomorrow  T-Shirt (170)
(Random Video Musings) Video Jack Black takes a vicious header at a Get Out the Vote concert, forecasts his impending YouTube infamy. (Not safe for work language) (69)
(Some Guy) Followup With about half the precincts reporting, Obama leads almost 2 to 1 in Guam. EVERYBODY PANIC  T-Shirt (64)
(FARK) PSA Lunch on the East Coast, breakfast on the West Coast, time for the next political discussion thread. Anyone see anything amusing while voting today?  T-Shirt (432)
(Yahoo) Dumbass "The Messenger of Peace," a biopic of Mohammed, launched. Title role shortlisted to Invisible Man, Redshirt from "Star Trek"  T-Shirt (52)
(The Morning Call) PSA If you had chainsaws as the latest Chinese product recall, step up and collect your prize -- if you still have fingers  T-Shirt (55)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Not news: Airline wants to charge man $16 for excess baggage. News: Man is double amputee. Fark: Said baggage is his spare prosthetic legs  T-Shirt (93)
(Bangor Daily News) Followup The three that skinny dipped for a sandwich go to court. We learn that: 1) They're not skinny. 2) Both the men are guilty. 3) A woman can't expose her genitals just by being naked, you need a Hustler spread for that (80)
(Wicked Local) Dumbass First entry in the voting screwup sweepsteaks is Cambridge, MA for using voter lists from 2004  T-Shirt (119)
(Vanity Fair) Unlikely According to Texas Bigfoot Conference experts, Sasquatch eats peacocks and deer butts, enjoys ticklefights and gangbangs, and digs through garbage cans in search of used tampons. Sounds like the Dallas Cowboys (33)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Teacher who was fired over her second job as a bikini model says that she really wants to see the school board without their pants  T-Shirt (113)
(Straits Times) Strange You suspect your wife of infidelity. Do you: A) Hire a private eye? B) Confront her? Or C) Get her suspected boyfriend drunk and cut off his Mr. Winky?  T-Shirt (51)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "Why you should vote for Nader" discussion thread  T-Shirt (317)
(CTV) Interesting Scientists find link between autism and rainy climates, take an important step forward in identifying why Florida has its own tag  T-Shirt (58)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these jack-o'-lantern lemurs (39)
(The Sun) Dumbass Drunk, stupid and walking down the motorway with a traffic cone on your head is no way to go through life, son  T-Shirt (31)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Sad Andover man shot with crossbow, beaten with bat, run over, burned. Killer apparently has issues with making decisions  T-Shirt (59)
(BBC) Interesting Supermarket wishes to provide a home for ugly vegetables. Big Brother producers plan to sue for copyright infringement  T-Shirt (32)
(BBC) Amusing How do you know you might be naive? When you don't spell check your fake diploma and use it to become the Minister of the Interior of Iran  T-Shirt (42)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup In space, no one can hear you litter  T-Shirt (47)
(Salem News) PSA Sometimes, the light at the end of the tunnel is an oncoming train. Literally  T-Shirt (35)
(Politico) Spiffy The NRA is sponsoring an election results party in Wasilla with booze and gun seminars. What could possibly go wrong?  T-Shirt (159)
(BBC) Followup Yesterday's "misdirected leisure activity" downgraded to "naked prankery"  T-Shirt (27)
(About.com) Followup Since this will all be over in a few hours, let's recap your favorite election Photoshops and captions one last time  T-Shirt (286)
(Some Guy) Interesting The Redskins losing last night means Obama has a 94.4 percent chance of being president. This is bad news.... for Obama  T-Shirt (154)
(Daily Mail) Interesting New lingerie fitted with GPS now available. Some women are outraged by it, but beaver tracking has been around for centuries  T-Shirt (46)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Scary Trick or meth  T-Shirt (56)
(Seacoastonline.com) Obvious Drunken sailor's Mayday call brings suspended jail time, rusty razor belly shaving  T-Shirt (32)
(FARK) Survey 2008 election thread, morning edition. Post your stories about voting this a.m. (1230)
(3 News New Zealand) Fail Can I borrow your towel for a sec? I just shot a water buffalo and the bullet ricocheted off it and hit me in the head  T-Shirt (84)
(Omaha World Herald) Dumbass You know, submitter is no farking genius, but even he knows it's a dumb idea to brandish a realistic-looking gun in a university classroom and yell "GET DOWN," causing students to jump out of windows (60)
(Metro) Amusing Protip: Don't get into a fight with two 83-year-old nuns, you'll only lose  T-Shirt (16)
(KSAT) Scary Scary: IEDs along Iraq roadsides. Scarier: IEDs along Texas roadsides  T-Shirt (51)
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Railroad passengers forced to hold their bladders on long journey because too much flushing would trigger the train's emergency brakes. What a pisser  T-Shirt (32)
(AP) Asinine Joe the Plumber stopped for speeding. Given warning, not citation, out of concern it would reflect negatively on the Toledo Police Department  T-Shirt (118)
(Some Guy) Scary Fred Phelps's son speaks out about growing up in "the most hated family in America"  T-Shirt (228)
(Telegraph) Weird British government announces special task force to spy on people making tea at work  T-Shirt (49)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Nanny State bans coast guard from using flares on search-and-rescue missions because they're "too dangerous"  T-Shirt (98)
(Kitsap Sun) Amusing Police hunting for thief who stole unspecified number of cookies from local bakery. Citizens urged to be on the lookout for armed, fuzzy blue suspect  T-Shirt (18)
(London Times) Stupid Restaurants to be forced to reveal how much of your tip your waitron keeps. In related news, some suckers still tip  T-Shirt (231)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cheerful alien invasion (62)
(23/6) Satire 23/6 Guide to Voting  T-Shirt (54)
(Some Guy) Asinine Court to decide if "What's up?" should be considered unlawful interrogation, overused catch phrase  T-Shirt (63)
(NH Union Leader) News Fifteen people show up in Dixville Notch to watch the Decemberists  T-Shirt (763)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Lip-balm addiction is real and it pumped $378 million into the U.S. economy last year  T-Shirt (108)

Mon November 03, 2008
(Reuters) Interesting Scientists successfully clone frozen mice dead for sixteen years and are now evaluating the possibility of ressurecting extinct creatures. I, for one welcome our new velocirapt-ARRRGGHHHH (171)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida What do you want on your Tombstone?  T-Shirt (147)
(Politico) Sappy Obama's grandma voted by absentee ballot days ago, and her vote will still be counted  T-Shirt (464)
(AP) Amusing News: Man in a ski mask with a gun waves a flag on an overpass, stopping traffic. Fark: during negotiations, he trades his gun for an Obama sign  T-Shirt (112)
(Daily Express) Amusing Meet the 92-year-old nun who ain't taking any of your crap  T-Shirt (50)
(tmj4) Amusing "Can you name one state that borders Mexico?" "Umm, Canada" Reporter dares to ask Milwaukee residents simple questions  T-Shirt (209)
(Reuters) Interesting Pope Benedict and Stephen Hawking walk into an evolution conference . . . well maybe not "walk" exactly  T-Shirt (142)
(Some Guy) Fail High school football player doesn't agree with ref's call, beats the shiat out of his coach. Yes, HIS coach. w/ "big and dumb" video goodness  T-Shirt (93)
(Some Guy) Scary Dad tries to imprison family in home and incinerate them. Which is just about the kind of douchebaggery you might expect from someone who leaves a plastic Santa Claus on his porch all year (42)
(BBC) Obvious Iranians gather peacefully to decry the taking of American hostages on Nov. 4, 1979. Just kidding, they celebrated the occasion by chanting "death to Israel, death to America."  T-Shirt (185)
(News 10 ABC Sacramento) PSA Starbucks behind bars: Election day freebees are illegal  T-Shirt (88)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this enigmatic escalator (64)
(Wall Street Journal) Followup Bones found in California may be those of Steve Fossett. Or, Satan planted them there 4,000 years ago to fool the search team  T-Shirt (123)
(23/6) Followup Which polls are Rush Limbaugh and the rest of the right-wing consulting?  T-Shirt (344)
(Some Hoser) PSA Don't forget to stock up on booze today if you live in one of the seven states that still ban election day liquor sales  T-Shirt (109)
(Gawker) Followup French-Canadian pranksters explain how they managed to get Palin on the line: It was brutally easy and usually they only get to use 30% of the jokes they wrote before people smarten up. In this instance, they ran out of jokes (215)
(CNN) Dumbass Remember that juror from the Ted Stevens' trial that had to tend to her dying father? She may be joining him in prison soon  T-Shirt (84)
(Chicago Sun-Times) NewsFlash In Barack Obama's version of "The West Wing" final season the role of Leo McGarry will be played by.... his grandmother  T-Shirt (1164)
(Marketwatch) Silly Twinkies to be packed in 100 calorie servings -- will need tweezers to eat 'em  T-Shirt (86)
(CNN) NewsFlash Dow plummets 5 points. EVERYBODY DO NOTHING  T-Shirt (119)
(Denver Post) Stupid Amendment to Colorado Constitution to define all human eggs as persons. In related news, if sperm were legislated as a person teenage boys would become genocidal maniacs (440)
(Guardian.com) Stupid You have a problem with unruly students. Do you A. Send them to counseling, B. Threaten detention, or C. Give them foot massages  T-Shirt (54)
(Spike) Silly Unrelated to anything: Top 10 ways to drive like you're from Jersey  T-Shirt (223)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Investigators have suspect in series of car fires on Happiness Street, Pot-O-Gold Street and Rainbow Avenue. Suspect said to be short, green, and ranting about losing his cereal (31)
(Albany Times Union) Fail Former bank manager devises unique plan to raise bailout capital  T-Shirt (41)
(FARK) Amusing Headlines of the Week, October 27 - November 2  T-Shirt (44)
(Wonkette) Interesting The Jackson, Mississippi Clarion-Ledger endorses Obama. For some perspective, this paper's coverage of MLK Jr.'s "I Have a Dream" speech was, "WASHINGTON IS CLEAN AGAIN WITH NEGRO TRASH REMOVED" (229)
(ABC News) Amusing According to this ABC poll, the American people have finally figured out Palin is unqualified for....well, just about anything  T-Shirt (855)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Palm Beach County voters rush to get in line for early voting, despite the fact early voting ended yesterday  T-Shirt (71)
(Daily Mail) Amusing BBC presenters are on their best behavior after the Russell Brand/Johnathan Ross answering machine scandal. Just kidding, Top Gear's Jeremy Clarkson says truck drivers only care about fuel prices and killing prostitutes (119)
(OK! Magazine) Amusing Burglar breaks into department store, grabs three female mannequins and has sex with them in a display bed. Yes, he is German  T-Shirt (85)
(CNN) Amusing In a shocking turn of events, CNN's hard-hitting journalistic team reveals that there are pissed off people on the internet. It's not news it's CNN, you ignorant mother farker  T-Shirt (102)
(News.com.au) Interesting Cockatoo to python: "Who's a pretty boy?" Python to Cockatoo: "OM NOM NOM"  T-Shirt (41)
(MSNBC) Sad A recap of this election's dirtiest tricks. It's like the hall of shame, but for douchebags  T-Shirt (401)
(PhysOrg.com) PSA All over-the-counter effective cold prevention medicines please step forward. Not so fast there Airborne  T-Shirt (178)
(Some Guy) Interesting Countries around the globe lower their personal taxes to attract labor. Denmark still tops the world with a 59 percent individual tax rate. But that includes all the free pastry you can eat (288)
(Google) Photoshop Today's Iron Photoshop ingredient: Matches (48)
(BBC) Amusing Police desperately seeking euphemism for what might be happening between a naked and tied woman and man in camouflage clothing, have only come up with "misdirected leisure activity" (73)
(London Times) Scary Drummer killed in freak anthrax case. It wasn't his anthrax. You can't dust for anthrax  T-Shirt (84)
(BBC) Strange Fight breaks out between two men, who were dressed as a cow and a horse. Investigating police think one had a serious beef, while the other stuck to his guns like glue  T-Shirt (39)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Today's free piece of advice from Fark is this: If you're absolutely determined to break into a police station, don't do it while the police are still there  T-Shirt (28)
(Some Guy) Strange Car crashes into tree, catching it on fire. Tree falls on deck, burns down down home. TA DA  T-Shirt (32)
(Rian.Ru) Amusing "Wife for sale. Model 1983, good condition. Full option, nice suspensions, spacious boot, second owner"  T-Shirt (98)
(US-101 News) Stupid Two men at a Tennessee flea market settle things the old-fashoned way; one man runs over the other with his van  T-Shirt (30)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption a surprised Putin (93)
(Metro) Amusing If your car breaks down outside a police station, that's only convenient if it's not loaded with $20,000 worth of marijuana  T-Shirt (21)
(The Local (Sweden)) Interesting Swedish lesbians in historic purple monkey dishwasher. Err, sorry, subby got a bit distracted and lost focus for a second there  T-Shirt (172)
(Komo) Scary If you see a crazy person with a bloody hatchet, the police are looking for him  T-Shirt (27)
(AP) Hero John Ripley, a Vietnam war hero who successfully led a group of 600 to stop 20,000 troops and 200 tanks, died today. Believe it or not  T-Shirt (117)
(Telegraph) Stupid Teenager changes his name to "Captain Fantastic Faster Than Superman Spiderman Batman Wolverine Hulk And The Flash Combined", but at least he doesn't do the hula from Hawaii (134)
(BBC) Asinine Muslim catering manager sues his employer. Over pork? No, I don't think he'll ever get over pork. Those wounds run pretty deep  T-Shirt (157)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Weird "Have you ever looked at a raisin ... really looked at it? Rolled it around in your fingers for a minute or so, explored its sticky ridges, even crinkled it next to your ear?"  T-Shirt (62)
(News.com.au) Strange Woman loses her leg after a magpie attack. Hekyll and Jekyll wanted for questioning  T-Shirt (54)
(CNN) Interesting It's not a party until the poor arrive "carrying fishing nets to catch money and anything edible."  T-Shirt (25)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pear pair (41)
(WBBM) Dumbass If you're in charge of a school district and you record a message warning of a bomb threat to your district that goes to all homes in the district, make sure your wife calling you an "idiot" is not at the end of the recording (57)
(SLTrib) Asinine Views differ about whether Obama is the anti-Christ. It's not news, it the Salt Lake Tribune  T-Shirt (711)
(The Tennessean) Dumbass A woman who lost control of her wheelchair during a rainstorm at a fair is suing anyone and everyone who came in contact with her until she gets her $100G's  T-Shirt (86)
(News.com.au) Amusing Apparently you CAN be charged with stupidity  T-Shirt (67)