If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
GoogleWeb Fark
Sun November 16, 2008
(Some Guy) Obvious How old is the internet?  T-Shirt (124)
(Some off-grid guy) Asinine Not News: Man rehabs house. News: House now eco-friendly. Fark: Gov't sez: "This isn't legal -- tear it down."  T-Shirt (47)
(Herald-Leader) Stupid The internet is no longer cool, now that every toothless troll can get high speed  T-Shirt (110)
(ABC News) Obvious West Virginia town named 'fattest' and 'sickest' place in the United States. Considering the competition, that's a hell of an accomplishment  T-Shirt (128)
(SLTrib) Obvious Today's random thing that will kill you is... unsanitary school cafeterias. If the food doesn't get you first, that is  T-Shirt (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting 10 tips to spot a fake Rolex. Helpful advice for these excellent economic times  T-Shirt (214)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these drying dos (39)
(Focus on Your Own Damn Family) Asinine Focus on the Family makes holiday shopping easier for the braindead  T-Shirt (305)
(AOL) Cool Owner puts rusty 1963 Pontiac Tempest on Ebay. No motor. No transmission. Asks $500. Turns out that it was the fastest car of its time and 1 of only 6 ever made. Car goes for over $226,000  T-Shirt (234)
(Cracked) Interesting Lobsters are people, too: The five most retarded causes people are actually fighting for  T-Shirt (184)
(AP) Fail On their way to break up a Illinois Nazi party rally Chicago cops cause a six car pile up. This would make a great end to a movie  T-Shirt (94)
(SB Sun) Interesting Since all other major problems have been solved, three environmental groups have announced they intend to sue a federal agency for slashing critical habitat protection for the endangered San Bernardino kangaroo rat  T-Shirt (86)
(MSNBC) NewsFlash As if the global economy isn't shaky enough, Indonesia hit by 7.7-magnitude earthquake, tsunami warnings, extra underwear issued  T-Shirt (81)
(Some Pierced Guy) Sad Pierced husband not allowed to attend school dances with his 17 year old wife  T-Shirt (311)
(CBC) Spiffy Iraq, U.S., agree to total troop withdrawal by 2011. This is bad news...for Palin 2012  T-Shirt (216)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Interesting How to be a cheapskate this holiday season without anyone knowing  T-Shirt (119)
(Time) Photoshop Photoshop Pootie Poot, who apparently has an eye for the chicks (54)
(CNN) Scary The world's ten ugliest buildings (in ugly-ass slideshow format)  T-Shirt (408)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Sugar truck and bus collide - 66 dead complete with bitter sweet ending  T-Shirt (50)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Atlantic City lifts their ban on smoking in casinos because it was causing people to gamble less. Too bad nobody wants to gamble now, bub  T-Shirt (83)
(New York Daily News) Strange One-eyed artist wants to replace her missing eye with a Web cam so she can record "everything" she sees  T-Shirt (117)
(Some Guy) Interesting Fluoride and dentistry were the big losers on Election Day  T-Shirt (111)
(AP) Amusing Experts say paranoia may be more common than thought. WHAT DO THEY MEAN BY THAT???  T-Shirt (56)
(Yahoo) Sick It's black and chewy, rather salty, quite disgusting in flavor, and the Dutch eat it by the handful every day  T-Shirt (261)
(Seacoastonline.com) Asinine Signs, signs, 37 foot signs, lighting up my livingroom most of the time, Can't you see if you do that you earn asinine?  T-Shirt (62)
(USA Today) Interesting As important as physical exams, researchers say people need marriage check-ups as well. "Now turn your head and biatch that this is the most action you've seen since you got married."  T-Shirt (71)
(WPBF) Florida Priest believes Satanic cult causing strange events like snakes hanging in front of his church. Because whoever heard of snakes in Florida?  T-Shirt (57)
(ninemsn.com.au) Dumbass Australian premier discovers illegal brothel upstairs from his office. Joins electorate in feeling screwed from above  T-Shirt (35)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this high-five (39)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Illegals illegally here legally are legal to be legally dropped to illegally be illegal after illegally being extremely illegal. FARK: In Texas, the "tough on crime" state  T-Shirt (151)
(Some Guy) Interesting 12 things you do nearly every day that make you a cyber criminal  T-Shirt (149)
(Some Poor Schmuck) Asinine Man pays $12,000 child support over a 7 year period. Fark: the kid isn't his, he won't get his money back and all he did was sign a delivery tag  T-Shirt (167)
(Times Herald Record) Stupid Drug dealer helpfully provides authorities with biographical DVD of his 40 years in the business. Peter Graves approves, inhales  T-Shirt (39)
(CBS Sacramento) Sappy Couple hires six psychics to find missing dog. They still don't know where it is, but they know what it wants  T-Shirt (50)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) PSA Southern California fire help and info thread  T-Shirt (254)
(Some Guy) Interesting Proving to anybody who saw the act that he really is a screwy driver, lugnut throws a wrench at another car in a fit of road rage. What a tool. Glad he got nailed and I hope the judge hammers him  T-Shirt (24)
(Some Moran) Amusing Has Obama taken away your gun yet?  T-Shirt (551)

Sat November 15, 2008
(Bloomberg) Obvious The US was scorned for not signing the unrealistic Kyoto Protocols. Now, Japan, Australia, Italy and 17 other chumps who signed it face a $46 billion penalty for not achieving their pollution goals  T-Shirt (147)
(WTOP) Hero Man gets antler in groin, wrestles deer to the ground, closes wound with a paper binder. With cringeworthy pic  T-Shirt (131)
(CNN) Spiffy Teenager beaten by Klan members awarded $2.5 million, can now seize the Klan headquarters building and hold Klan meetings of his own  T-Shirt (180)
(News.com.au) Stupid Pfizer suing pumpkin seed candy manufacturer. Seems like they're getting stiffed, but could just be hard-up for the cash  T-Shirt (26)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop ways of disguising cell-phone towers (59)
(Fox News) Strange How is babby farmed?  T-Shirt (103)
(Examiner) Strange It is hard to believe but there are some of you out there who don't like turkey and dread Thanksgiving  T-Shirt (140)
(Some student pirate) Hero Duke stands up to RIAA, doesn't suck (for once)  T-Shirt (93)
(9 News) Fail Burglar who liked stealing appliances, pilfering dozens of bags of popcorn, and raiding victims' fridges caught when his chicken-greasy fingerprints are found on carton of OJ at ransacked home. Eat les chiken  T-Shirt (37)
(Shhhhhhhh) Sick Sex offender found living in university library bookshelves, was tracked by his dewey decimal  T-Shirt (105)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing Top 10 Movie Last Lines  T-Shirt (458)
(Local6) Hero Father chains himself to power meter to avoid electricity being shutoff in desperate attempt at saving daughter who survives on breathing machine  T-Shirt (217)
(Las Vegas Now) Dumbass Restraining order issued against Las Vegas' Valley Eye Center. To be written in the smallest font possible  T-Shirt (44)
(Las Vegas Now) Ironic School surveillance cameras catch school district employees stealing... surveillance cameras  T-Shirt (30)
(CSMonitor) PSA Oxford English Dictionary word of the year is "hypermiling." Celebrate by tailgating a Prius  T-Shirt (87)
(LA Times) Scary Olive View Hospital, Los Angeles: It collapsed in the 1971 Sylmar earthquake. Rebuilt and almost burnt down last night in the Sylmar brush fire. Why does god hate this hospital?  T-Shirt (83)
(NBC DFW) Strange Not a Happy Meal; 12-year-old gets flashed at McDonalds  T-Shirt (95)
(Telegraph) Interesting Photos from 140 years of UFO sightings  T-Shirt (206)
(Newsweek) Spiffy Euphoric Obama fans may be sparking a baby boom. It's change you can conceive in  T-Shirt (291)
(Telegraph) Misc German troops in Afghanistan drunk more than 1.8m pints last year, what a pisser  T-Shirt (45)
(Des Moines Register) Strange Whoever has been cutting off horse tails in northwest Iowa, please knock it off  T-Shirt (48)
(Daily Mail) Fail "Inmates running the asylum" as students as young as five given the right to offer opinions on everything from school curriculum to discipline  T-Shirt (125)
(Reuters) PSA California ordered to prepare for sea-level rise...well at least those parts that haven't been burned to the ground  T-Shirt (125)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Pictures in clouds (70)
(MSNBC) Interesting Home Ec is hot again as "Hillbilly Housewives" look for ways to stretch their food budgets  T-Shirt (91)
(Des Moines Register) Stupid 1,150 people sleep outside for one night to show their solidarity with the homeless. Then in the morning they all got into their SUVs and got some Starbucks before heading home to their king-sized beds  T-Shirt (155)
(Daily Mail) Asinine The music you listen to can affect your health...wtf is John Denver doing here?  T-Shirt (64)
(NYPost) Obvious Yankee Stadium management says Red Sox fan who was assaulted for cheering his team in enemy territory should have kept his big mout shut, adding "ya wanna 'nudder one? I got lots more where dat came from..."  T-Shirt (80)
(Boston Herald) Obvious Boston conservatives have their (white, cotton, granny) knickers in a twist after Victoria's Secret opens campus shop  T-Shirt (85)
(Guardian.com) Hero China to outlaw miming. And it's about farking time, too. Mimes suck  T-Shirt (96)
(Houston Chronicle) Followup Remember the kid that talked his way on to an airline for the fun of it? He has purchased an upgrade to felon  T-Shirt (93)
(The Local (Germany)) Silly German brothel offers free entry to anyone who gets its logo tattooed on his arm. Gives a whole new meaning to 'tramp stamps'  T-Shirt (40)
(Yahoo) Stupid ♫ Well, I lay my head on the railroad track / Waitin' on the "double e" / But the train don't run through here no more / Poor, poor... Um... wait, what's that noise? Is that a train horn? (56)
(NYPost) Hero Highway superintendant offered $25,000 pay raise, turns it down because it wouldn't feel right in this terrible economy. Hero tag kicks Dumbass tag's ass  T-Shirt (74)
(MaineToday.com) Amusing Doe, my deer, fell from my truck. Hey, just where the hell'd it go? See, anyone see my deer? Far, how far could it have gone?  T-Shirt (32)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Having three teachers arrested for pot possession is embarassing, but not a crisis, says Gayle Fallon, president of the Houston Federation of Teachers. She then added, "Mellow out, dudes, you're harshing my buzz"  T-Shirt (78)
(KSAT) Obvious Marching band's schizophrenic performance, complete with padded walls and strait jackets just might have offended some really crazy people  T-Shirt (50)
(The New York Times) Amusing Stretching stretching WHOA FELL OFF BED--Cats discover Twitter just in time for Caturday  T-Shirt (401)
(AZCentral) Hero Town divided after schools stop making kids recite the Pledge over concerns that it holds children who don't participate up to scorn. "The whole thing is tearing our community apart."  T-Shirt (332)
(USA Today) Interesting Castro: 'New president' won't bring BRAINS to U.S  T-Shirt (56)
(AP) Amusing Japanese software maker fights crime by launching online game featuring mug shots of Japan's most-wanted fugitives. In other news, Florida to found its own software empire  T-Shirt (26)
(SFGate) Stupid $700,000 worth of fake Nikes found in shipping container. To be clear, that's 34 shoes  T-Shirt (44)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this football in focus (46)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Al Sharpton owes the USA half a million in unpaid taxes. Apparently it is illegal to deduct expenses for hair care products  T-Shirt (86)
(London Times) Amusing The Top 10 Beards: Nicole Kidman not included  T-Shirt (60)
(BBC) Amusing Prisoner escapes German prison by mailing himself home. No, really, that old schtick still works  T-Shirt (37)
(AJC) Scary Former head of Atlanta animal shelter does magic. Made 83 cats disappear  T-Shirt (60)
(New Times) Obvious Cops n' Donuts - with some great pix  T-Shirt (37)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Mr. Obama is a "collector" -- a hard-core fan who goes to the trouble of slipping comics into polyester sleeves or Mylar bags before depositing them into specialty storage boxes never to see the light of day again  T-Shirt (168)
(Seacoastonline.com) Cool Best mug shot of a bar fight brawler you'll see all day  T-Shirt (47)
(Some Guy) Interesting 10 Fascinating Last Pictures Taken  T-Shirt (273)

Fri November 14, 2008
(My San Antonio) Sick Another day, another cell phone found up a prisoner's butt on death row  T-Shirt (105)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this bird house (42)
(SLTrib) Obvious It really stinks when the portable toilets at your business catch on fire  T-Shirt (31)
(News 10 ABC Sacramento) Scary It's that old boy meets girl, boy dates girl, girl gets mad at boy, girl sets boy's crotch on fire story  T-Shirt (84)
(Florida Today) Florida Elderly, wheelchair-bound man robs bank and is caught rolling away only 500 feet from the scene  T-Shirt (49)
(The Consumerist) Obvious Sirius/XM to the FCC: We promise to behave if you let us be a monopoly. FCC: OK, but you two kids behave. SiriusXM: Yeah, fark the customers and the promises we made to the government. FCC & customers: lol wut?  T-Shirt (372)
(AP) Scary You can't even watch TV with your pet deer in the privacy of your own home anymore without worrying some jack-booted thugs will storm in and arrest you  T-Shirt (50)
(The Local (Sweden)) Scary If it says Lidl, Lidl, Lidl on the label, label, label you will...ack, thud  T-Shirt (57)
(KATU) Hero 11-year-old girl saves seven swept away by raging river  T-Shirt (82)
(Las Vegas trying to be Florida) Stupid Today's "Facepalm.Jpg Award" goes to: (rips open envelope) the married 21-year old jurist with goal of having sexual affair with felon her jury convicted. Her quote: "I don't see why I would be in trouble."  T-Shirt (114)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Welcome to Loserville. Population: this week's Smoking Gun gallery  T-Shirt (223)
(ABC News) Stupid "5-month-old truce" "threatened" by air force attacks and long range rocket firings  T-Shirt (95)
(City Pages) Silly The world's 26 least-ironic mullets. Bonus: Darth Vader  T-Shirt (141)
(9 News) Obvious City won't allow Menorah on city property because it's religious. When Rabbi asks why Santa was OK, city launches into song and dance number about "tradition"  T-Shirt (282)
(Reuters) Amusing Leaked videos of Japanese police unleashing beatdowns on guys assembling outside PM's home cause sensation on YouTube  T-Shirt (56)
(Reuters) Weird InBev cleared to buy Anheuser-Busch as long as they sell Labatt's USA subsidiary, which inexplicably dominates beer sales in upstate New York  T-Shirt (172)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this roadside attraction ape and auto (51)
(Some Guy) Obvious Round up the lawyers. Its time for "Wind Turbine Syndrome"  T-Shirt (203)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Michael Vick 's bankruptcy statement. Waste, Incorporated  T-Shirt (183)
(Some Guy) Interesting Cash strapped Canadian government may resort to selling giant erection  T-Shirt (93)
(The Consumerist) Amusing Prankster sends spider drawings in lieu of payments, hilarity ensues  T-Shirt (183)
(Cracked) Amusing The 10 worst places to get caught having sex. Chuck E. Cheese strangely absent  T-Shirt (287)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass Oxford rugby team tape sidelocks to their heads and carry bags of money to "bring a Jew" party. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  T-Shirt (91)
(Slate) Followup A closer look at the Obama gun surge shows that gun ownership is generally declining, but the already-armed are getting even better-armed  T-Shirt (582)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Baylor students were making a rope swing for unity on election night, not a noose. Glad that's all cleared up  T-Shirt (45)
(Salon) Amusing The silver lining to the Bush legacy: Sarkozy was able to successfully dissuade Putin from executing the President of Georgia by comparing it to something Bush would do  T-Shirt (154)
(Dallas News) Spiffy Barack Obama to use YouTube to deliver weekly address, lipsync Eminem tunes  T-Shirt (116)
(WGN TV) Video Much like Khrushchev sending missles to Cuba, Obama is putting Chicago pizza within striking distance of New York (194)
(Bloomberg) PSA OPEC is starting to get a little ticked off at you people conserving gas  T-Shirt (383)
(Newsday) Followup Remember those DWI mugshots from Long Island? They're back with half the photos and twice the constituionality  T-Shirt (77)
(BBC) Dumbass Bad enough that you have a fit of road rage, but it's even worse when you jump out of your car to confront an ambulance with its lights and sirens on after you thought it was trying to pass you  T-Shirt (92)
(Canada.com) Dumbass If you are a school bus driver and you like to have a couple beers between runs. It would be best that you didn't drink on the bus, near a school, beside an apartment building for the whole world to see  T-Shirt (57)
(Reuters) Interesting Videogame sales up 18% in October alone. Coincidentally about 18% of Wall Street has been laid off  T-Shirt (168)
(Baltimore Sun) Dumbass If you're riding shotgun drunk, stay out from behind the wheel while your buddy is out on field sobriety  T-Shirt (23)
(Boston Globe) Sad "Quantum of Solace is just one exasperated dressing down away from being Lethal Weapon 9."  T-Shirt (329)
(Omaha World Herald) PSA Last call to dump precious snowflakes in Nebraska  T-Shirt (152)
(Metro) Weird Man impersonates Status Quo singer Francis Rossi for almost a year, cons town out of free meals and rides in the mayor's limo, even though he doesn't have a ponytail and cannot play the guitar  T-Shirt (38)
(The Santa Barbara Independent) Followup Santa Barbara fire destroys local media's ability to make intelligible graphics  T-Shirt (131)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass "You can't arrest me, you ran over my foot"  T-Shirt (31)
(NYPost) Silly Blue Man Group opens Blue School for pre-K and kindergarten kids. Because who wouldn't want their kid to learn how to throw paint around and pound on every horizontal surface?  T-Shirt (82)
(MaineToday.com) Dumbass What do you do when the neighborhood kids are playing on a pogo stick in your front yard? Apparently shooting them with a BB gun is the wrong answer  T-Shirt (109)
(The Local (Sweden)) Stupid Sweden nails Black & Decker for ad campaign's "pleased wife guarantee". Company claims it never saw it coming  T-Shirt (85)
(Yahoo) Stupid Couple who met online now divorcing, after wife catches husband cheating on her... in "Second Life"  T-Shirt (415)
(Wikipedia) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Bedtime for __________ (92)
(Some Guy) Sappy Ugly-ass baby pandas make their debut at Japanese zoo (video)  T-Shirt (25)
(London Times) Interesting Could you pass Obama's background check for a job? Question 43: Farkers need not apply  T-Shirt (333)
(News.com.au) Interesting Australian politician turns down offer of $30,000 to strip for men's magazine. With pic that'll have you hoping she's just holding out for more money  T-Shirt (168)
(CNN) Interesting Woman banned from small town community center for dirty dancing receives $275,000 settlement, town lawyers feared ACLU involvement may have swayze jury  T-Shirt (43)
(whitehouse.gov) Amusing The most shocking picture of President Bush and the White House staff that you'll see all day  T-Shirt (263)
(shields gazette) Weird Why did the chicken drink whisky and smoke cannabis? And why is his owner so cruel for showing the bird a good time?  T-Shirt (27)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Bank robber vows to file complaint with manager after finding cash drawers empty  T-Shirt (19)
(Daily Star) Amusing Illegal immigrants hiding in back of truck caught after singing 'crazy song' to celebrate outwitting police  T-Shirt (35)
(LA Times) Hero Dermatologist removes gang tattoos for free. Because you know who else liked tattoos? Well he put them on her parents  T-Shirt (53)
(Stuff) Scary Australian resort finds novel way to beat the expected global recession: a month-long, nude, "anything goes" party. With pic that illustrates the flaw in their cunning plan (safe for work)  T-Shirt (86)
(Fox News) Fail If you want to secretly film women in a bathroom, try to use something a little less obvious than a cell phone taped to toilet paper rolls  T-Shirt (58)
(AP) Dumbass Someone call the Whaaambulance; Skinhead plotters upset that the jury is "racially stacked" against them  T-Shirt (119)
(LiveLeak) Scary America 2012: Food riots, tax rebellions, Christmas scrambles for food instead of gifts. "America's going to go through a transition the likes of which no one is prepared for."  T-Shirt (392)
(Some Guy) Amusing Hh-h-a-n-nn-n-GG-g onn-nn I-i-i-mm-mm s-ss-tt-ii-llL bb-B-u-uu-s-yyy-y  T-Shirt (45)
(Daily Mail) Stupid One in 10 parents thinks Jaffa cakes and Coca-Cola counts as their kids' daily serving of fruits and vegetables  T-Shirt (67)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this detached duo (45)
(Santa Barbara Independent) News In the East, the mountains turn red in fall because of the leaves. In Santa Barbara, it's because of fire  T-Shirt (207)
(ABC News) PSA Osama bin Laden is alive and worried about his own security according to the CIA, Twitter  T-Shirt (172)

Thu November 13, 2008
(BBC) Strange Canadian authorities give man "Get out of jail--fat" card  T-Shirt (25)
(Some Guy) Interesting Try not to set yourself on fire when trying to remove an ants' nest with flames  T-Shirt (31)
(BBC) Asinine Pregnant "man" is pregnant again; ultrasound shows it to be a LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME LOOK AT ME  T-Shirt (189)
(MSNBC) Interesting Tech puts JFK conspiracy to rest. Oliver Stone seen waving fist of fury  T-Shirt (260)
(Wonkette) Amusing Evidently, Joe the Plumber picked up a book on HTML from his local library and has unleashed his code on all of us  T-Shirt (241)
(BBC) Dumbass Zoo janitor decides to give himself a promotion to animal feeder. He was delicious  T-Shirt (64)
(Talking Points Memo) Unlikely Democrats send letter to the White House - *heh* - demanding - *lawl* - it preserve all records - *snort*, especially those from Cheney's office *BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH* (298)
(Some Wafer and Host) PSA Voted for Obama? No communion for you  T-Shirt (633)
(Some Guy) Asinine Free at last Thank God Almighty, we are free at last Licensing and registration fees still apply  T-Shirt (101)
(Fox News) Dumbass Man gets lucky with 14 partners at sex party. The other 14 people, not so lucky  T-Shirt (128)
(CudahyNOW) Dumbass Man attempts to shoplift vodak, leaves ID card at counter. Mighty fine police work by Lou results in his arrest  T-Shirt (35)
(Guardian.com) Followup British Sports Minister: "Remember me saying 'We don't want to host the 2012 Olympics anymore...we can't afford it?' Yeah, I didn't mean it. Or I was quoted out of context. Or some damn thing."  T-Shirt (29)
(Anchorage Daily News) Followup CostCo decides against opening a store in Wasilla, AK. Cites local economy, rapes, meth addicts  T-Shirt (115)
(CNN) Dumbass Interesting: Self involved asshat decides to live an entire week without spending any money. Fail: Does it by mooching off everyone he comes in contact with  T-Shirt (103)
(ABC News) Sad Hard times for CEOs. Amid taxpayer funded bonuses and luxury resort junkets, one CEO's auctioned art only nets a measley $13.5 million. Didums  T-Shirt (42)
(ABC News) Scary Plane collides with small luggage vehicle at Detroit airport; driver avoids becoming carrion  T-Shirt (37)
(OK! Magazine) Asinine Builders ordered to take their own teabags to people's houses so as not to 'embarass' cash-strapped customers  T-Shirt (29)
(Wired) Cool 35 years ago, teen sets "Asteroids" record in 3-day marathon. Still looking for a date  T-Shirt (116)
(Fox Business) Followup Dow rebounds to 8835, soils undergarments  T-Shirt (132)
(Time) Dumbass Time magazine says Hillary could be Obama's "spear catcher," failing to realize what that would make Obama  T-Shirt (281)
(WFTV) News Bag of bones found in Caylee Anthony case; authorites trying to rule out Calista Flockhart sighting  T-Shirt (96)
(Some Guy) Followup Virginia Tech gunshot alert downgraded to "firecrackers in a dumpster"  T-Shirt (16)
(The Sun) Obvious California skydivers set new world record for wing suit formation, would have settled for largest human-shaped divot record as a consolation prize (pic)  T-Shirt (26)
(Fox News) Amusing Vladimir Putin wants to tickle the nads of the Georgian President  T-Shirt (78)
(Yahoo) Amusing Scientists determine that frozen semen can be used for rhinoceros artificial insemination. Which is good news for the guy whose job it was to keep the semen warm. And chilly news for the female rhinos  T-Shirt (22)
(AFP) Cool The "Dead Parrot" has been pining for the fjords since 4th Century Greece  T-Shirt (68)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this classic painting (97)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles) Interesting Fake magnitude-7.8 earthquake hits California. EVERYBODY PRETEND TO PANIC  T-Shirt (56)
(Sign On San Diego) Dumbass Stoner Pug burns down apartment  T-Shirt (56)
(WGAL 8) Sad QVC to lay off 6 percent of workers. But if you call in now, they'll cut another 10 percent  T-Shirt (49)
(ABC News) Strange Want a job in the Obama administration? Be prepared to fill out the seven-page, 63 question intrusive and extensive questionnaire  T-Shirt (420)
(9 News) Stupid Homeless man causes $15,000 in damage when he mistakes delicate organ pipes for rolled-up rugs in church's basement and sleeps on them. Pipes are repairable, but only in key when playing 'Big Rock Candy Mountain'  T-Shirt (64)
(KHOU Houston) Interesting "Breaker one-nine I got a BTO haulin' some Tennessee kool aid followed by a brown paper bag."  T-Shirt (74)
(AFP) Asinine With no bigger problems to solve, Swedish parliament weighs in on case of eight-year-old boy who did not invite everyone in his class to his biorthday party  T-Shirt (64)
(CBS 4 Denver) Strange If you live in Denver and want to buy a pool cover, make sure it has the "This Cover Can Support Two Horses" seal of approval  T-Shirt (31)
(Some Guy) Obvious Dozens of Canada geese turn up dead or dying in northern New York after being sickened by fungus. Authorities reassure people that what the honking, dying shiatbags have is no danger to people  T-Shirt (86)
(The Local (Germany)) Followup German guy looks at Wisconsin homeless guy with .56 blood alcohol level and says "Pfft, amateur - here's a .767"  T-Shirt (64)
(Some Guy) News Police responding to possible firecrackers at Virginia Tech dorm  T-Shirt (168)
(AP) Obvious While most of us are just thrilled with our $2/gal gas, the folks who locked in winter heating oil contracts at $4+/gal, are just a mite miffed right now  T-Shirt (180)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Judge decides beating the homeless to death is not justification to miss school  T-Shirt (63)
(The New York Times) Stupid Bush may assert executive privilege after he leaves office. Does this mean we can have an executive privilege battle to see who can out execitive privilege the other  T-Shirt (353)
(Some Guy) Interesting Former Conservative talk show producer spills secrets about the format: "The reason talk radio succeeds is because its hosts exploit the fears and perceived victimization of a large swath of conservative-leaning listeners"  T-Shirt (360)
(Marketwatch) NewsFlash Falling below 8,000. The Dow Jones or Kirstie Alley?  T-Shirt (563)
(TC Palm) Florida Man allegedly tries to steal $450 worth of beer and meat--with mugshot  T-Shirt (69)
(WBBM) Asinine 90,000 gallons of liquid manure spills. Authorities say not to worry, it'll be cleaned up in several days. IN SEVERAL DAYS?  T-Shirt (129)
(Seattle Times) Obvious What to expect if you're flying this holiday season: fewer flights, less room, higher fares, more fees, more crowded planes, more overbooking, more UFIAs. Pretty much the same as every year  T-Shirt (98)
(Some Guy) Asinine Union protests firing of bus driver who killed on pedestrian and ran over another. At issue is whether his driving record is relevant  T-Shirt (143)
(WSB-TV) Scary Often times coughing can be a symptom of a larger problem to come - like crashing your car through a building  T-Shirt (21)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting God continues to test our faith, as remains of 460,000-year-old woolly rhinoceros found in Germany. How did it smell? Horrible  T-Shirt (166)
(New Zealand Herald) Strange Australians shocked to find out that lesbian koala bears are having orgies, up to five bears at a time. Submitter wonders if straight male koala bears like to watch this  T-Shirt (105)
(BBC) Interesting Google Earth revives ancient Rome  T-Shirt (85)
(WBBM) PSA Whooping cough outbreak declared in Evanston Illinois. Coming soon in the 'turn back the clock' disease series: scurvy, small pox, and typhoid  T-Shirt (179)
(Some Guy) Obvious Hamas: Hey, give Gaza some nom noms. Israel: As soon as you stop going all pew pew. Hamas: WTF r u talking about? U.N.: OMG STOP  T-Shirt (291)
(The Morning Call) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: "Victimized ATM customer has withdrawal symptoms". Try the veal  T-Shirt (48)
(The Local (Germany)) Unlikely New study shows people who divorce die years sooner than others. But at least they die happy  T-Shirt (72)
(WTMJ) Spiffy Hey, Wisconsin homeless guy, you've just won the title of newest drunk rock star. Your prize? Hospital treatment for a .56 blood alcohol level  T-Shirt (76)
(CBS News) Spiffy Man with way too much time on his hands creates new stop for the Griswalds  T-Shirt (78)
(Some Guy) Silly Want to get people riled up? Put up "It's okay not to believe in God" billboards right before Christmas  T-Shirt (524)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine When it rains in Baltimore train wheels are too slippery to run on time. Because no one has ever driven a train in the rain  T-Shirt (65)
(Now Magazine) Strange Tom Jones would like you to know that rumors of his death have been greatly exaggerated  T-Shirt (48)
(Yahoo) Sad Jacko loses Neverland; children will now be molested by "Sycamore Valley Ranch Co. LLC."  T-Shirt (97)
(CBC) Interesting Airline denies plans for $10 baby-free-zone, even though this is the greatest concept ever  T-Shirt (168)
(AJC) Silly If you speak frog, your employment options have improved in Georgia  T-Shirt (34)
(My Fox) Stupid Locals outraged when town gas station begins selling bongs, which are obviously only bought by people from other towns  T-Shirt (89)
(Newsday) Cool The Rockefeller Center Christmas tree is coming from Jersey this year and they're calling it a "miracle." The real miracle is that something could grow in Jersey  T-Shirt (158)
(Starpulse) Dumbass Eminem's pal Trick Trick bans gays and lesbians from buying his new album. As if gays & lesbians ever bought rap albums  T-Shirt (302)
(Charleston Gazette) Amusing Principal tells high school girl to take off her pro-Obama shirt, she complies, everyone has a seat over there (SFW pic)  T-Shirt (220)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Man breaks Guinness World Record for biggest ball; Lance Armstrong inconsolable  T-Shirt (39)
(USA Today) Fail Air marshalls. The gold-badged line between us and them. Anonymous protectors of air travel, lone gunmen of the skies. Oh, and they make pretty good drug smugglers, too  T-Shirt (43)
(Telegraph) Dumbass World of Warcraft fan collapses from exhaustion at the front of queue for new game, suffering withdrawal from time away from his PC  T-Shirt (217)
(Johnny's Saloon) Weird So this guy and his alligator walk into a bar  T-Shirt (30)
(London Times) Cool I'll see your sea monkeys and raise you growing crystals - an apartment full of crystals  T-Shirt (40)
(American Scholar) Cool Leonard Bernstein once showed up unexpectedly at Harvard (in a cape), and agreed to speak if there were at least 15 students and 2 bottles of scotch  T-Shirt (50)
(Washington Post) Amusing Joe Biden set to meet Dick Cheney today to get tour of his new undisclosed location  T-Shirt (69)
(Military Times) Interesting Danzig likely to be new Secretary of Defense. Would bring to Pentagon advisors Guns N' Roses, Night Ranger, and Velvet Revolver  T-Shirt (86)
(Yahoo) Spiffy There's a global recession, Wall Street is a mess, and the only job you can find involves fries. But, somehow, Walmart's profits are up 10 percent  T-Shirt (207)
(CNN) Dumbass Sarah Palin says she's proud of socialist terrorists. Here come the retractions  T-Shirt (305)
(Daily Express) Dumbass British Sports Minister: We don't want to host the 2012 Olympics anymore...we can't afford it  T-Shirt (86)
(Daily Express) Unlikely Settling down for a friendly cup of coffee and a chat, Janet, Jill and Frances realise they're all married to the same man. Bonus: His name is Roderick Sangster  T-Shirt (31)
(Yahoo) Scary Kite surfer gets whale slapped  T-Shirt (44)
(Fox News) Spiffy Researchers Find Tranny Gene. Now just need to find gene that makes subby not care if his hookers are tranny when drunk  T-Shirt (94)
(BBC) Amusing Colombian pyramid-scheme organisers leave surprisingly honest note for investors - "Now for being stupid and believing in witchcraft you will have to work much harder to recoup the money you gave us"  T-Shirt (45)
(Yahoo) Caption Caption Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson (102)
(Reuters) Obvious Medvedev ready to do whatever Putin says as long as America doesn't do anything in particular  T-Shirt (23)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop these chopped beans (28)
(Washington Post) Cool Web hosting firm responsible for 75% of all spam taken offline  T-Shirt (83)
(Telegraph) Interesting 20 facts about bungee jumping. 20 facts about bungee. 20 facts about. 20 facts. 20  T-Shirt (79)
(My Fox DC) Amusing NY Times hoax reports Phillies win World Series, black man elected president  T-Shirt (27)
(News.com.au) Dumbass 1. Film yourself doing crazy stunts on a forklift at work 2. Post the footage on YouTube 3. Do not profit  T-Shirt (54)
(SFGate) Asinine Victims of last year's SF Zoo tiger attack sue city and zoo, claiming their civil rights were violated  T-Shirt (140)
(The Sun) Stupid Billy Suicide game causing issues with anti-suicide groups. Objective is to feed Billy pills, booze, and caffeine before he kills himself (w/ screenshot)  T-Shirt (54)
(apan Today) Sappy Ugly-ass baby panda twins born in Japan amusement park. With littly teddy bear pic  T-Shirt (24)
(Some Idahoan) Fail Woman gets naked, kicks security guard in groin, requires five officers to be subdued. Then it gets weird (with "Oh god, my eyes" mugshot goodness)  T-Shirt (100)
(News.com.au) Followup That dead woman outside of Abdul's house? A former American Idol contestant. (article includes link to FAILiriffic audition video)  T-Shirt (176)
(News from the West) Misc If you've ever wondered what $2 million worth of ecstasy pills looks like, well, you're in luck  T-Shirt (117)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pensive young man (43)
(Boston Channel) Sad First stocks, then gasoline, now lobster prices tank. Lobstahmen want their share of the bailout  T-Shirt (81)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 184: "Float Like a Butterfly" Details and rules in the Boobies. LGT next week's theme (172)

Wed November 12, 2008
(News.com.au) Cool Winners of the World's Most Beautiful Bottoms. With pic goodness for Farkers and Farkettes alike. This is a beautiful, beautiful thing  T-Shirt (195)
(CBS News) Strange Confused thieves apparently get address of jeweler wrong, wind up stealing boxing ring instead  T-Shirt (20)
(9 News) Unlikely Two hunters missing since Halloween have been found. They had apparently gotten their truck stuck in mud and spent 12 days digging it out  T-Shirt (77)
(Fox News) Dumbass What's the point of being a prison guard if you can't make the inmates fight each other for your own amusement?  T-Shirt (58)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you're in the market for a diamond-studded gold gorilla pendant, the North Carolina Department of Revenue may have just what you're looking for  T-Shirt (29)
(News.com.au) Spiffy And the figures are in: Borat has in fact given a boost to Kazakhstan's tourism industry. Is nice  T-Shirt (59)
(WESH Orlando) Sad Man attacked, killed by large pine tree. This is what it's like to be needled to death  T-Shirt (76)
(Marketwatch) Interesting Crocs reports $148M loss as thousands of grown-up male customers finally took the time to look at themselves in the mirror  T-Shirt (308)
(Yahoo) Interesting Study shows same-sex heart transplants to be better. Hordes of people immediately begin attempts to disprove this finding in order to "preserve the sanctity of surgery"  T-Shirt (92)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Not news: 3rd-graders take field trip to grocery store. Still not news: Get book called "Try Something New Today" as going-home gift. Fark: Book has a chapter called "Bathe with a Friend", illustrating 12 sex positions  T-Shirt (111)
(The Chattanoogan) Dumbass Chattanooga woman fails to comprehend the whole "don't smoke around oxygen machines" deal  T-Shirt (64)
(News24) Obvious Man arrested for trying to sell his albino wife; claims it was all white with her  T-Shirt (81)
(Some Guy) Sick You've been arrested for DUI. Do you a) refuse a breath test? b) contact a lawyer? c) pee all over the back of the squad car and spray the cop through the center divider?  T-Shirt (96)
(The Smoking Gun) Obvious Man arrested for assaulting karaoke singer over poor performance of a Dio song  T-Shirt (95)
(Healthfinder.gov) Obvious New study shows todays tweens think they are smarter, stronger and more ethical than their wardrobe, MySpace pages, and everything else about them would lead you to believe  T-Shirt (77)
(AOL) Hero Her Majesty's Royal Navy vs Somali pirates. Ends pretty much as you'd expect  T-Shirt (172)
(Great Falls Tribune) Scary Air Force nuclear command conducts lengthy inspection of its missiles, finds they come up short; vows to check out units again in 90 days to confirm they're ready to be discharged at a moment's notice  T-Shirt (78)
(New Scientist) Weird Scientists determine why ugly people don't get picked at speed dating. Turns out it's because they are ugly  T-Shirt (144)
(WTOP) Obvious Man whups up on woman for making mac and cheese for dinner. "Food was tossed around the house as he hit the woman with the pot." Alcohol may have been a factor  T-Shirt (90)
(9 News) Cool Business Week Magazine names Fort Collins, Colorado the best place in the U.S. to raise kids. Toad Lick, Arkansas, and Hell, Michigan skunked again  T-Shirt (157)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this snack-loving dude (46)
(Yahoo) Stupid Fabulously evocative E-Online headline: "Sean Penn's Milk Has Blast From the Antigay Past". Jesus Christ  T-Shirt (79)
(Wired) Cool Pentagon finally gets around to weaponizing Happy Fun Ball  T-Shirt (182)
(TampaBays10.com) Obvious Parents of kids with ADHD have higher divorce rates and - hey gimme that  T-Shirt (204)
(ABC News) Interesting Latest casualty of the economic downturn? Office Christmas parties as companies turn away from expensive parties and instead pass out Hot Cocoa Sampler Boxes to employees  T-Shirt (255)
(SFGate) Obvious Henry "Heckuva Job" Paulson says the $700 billion rescue plan isn't for automakers. Unless they plan on turning themselves into banks, of course, then they can have all the free money they want  T-Shirt (165)
(Breitbart.com) Scary Unless something is done soon, California's budget defict could hit $28 billion, which is more than the gross domestic product of over 100 (albeit sucky) countries  T-Shirt (168)
(SFGate) Scary Body found dead in parked car near Paula Abdul's home. Authorities say the body is definitely not Paula Abdul, but have tentatively ID'd it as her career  T-Shirt (90)
(CBS News) Amusing Gay rights protesters crash Sunday service with signs such as "Jesus was a homo"  T-Shirt (411)
(CNN) Followup Paul Broun: I'm sorry for comparing Obama to Hitler - I mean, seriously, Obama is more of a socialist  T-Shirt (463)
(Gawker) Interesting National Enquirer has photographic proof of Cindy McCain having an affair. Get ready for 25 greenlights a day... oh wait she never tried to help poor people. Nevermind  T-Shirt (281)
(Rocky Mountain News) Asinine Golden Colorado strikes the first blow in the war on Hanukkah  T-Shirt (309)
(Daily Express) Fail Nanny state police spend $9,000,000 on a murder investigation and find that nobody was murdered  T-Shirt (52)
(Komo) Obvious Tanker truck full of buttermilk overturns and dumps its load, Peter King inconsolable  T-Shirt (44)
(The State) Dumbass Apparently, you should not use Facebook to refer to your job as "teaching chitlins in the ghetto of Charlotte." Mmmmm, chitlins  T-Shirt (161)
(AZCentral) Fail Today's "yeah, hey, good luck with that, let us know how that turns out" story brought to you by activists requesting the Mormon Church support gay / transgender rights laws in Utah  T-Shirt (293)
(WBBM) PSA This is the one gift every golfer needs, especially if you like to slam beers on the course. (w/ demonstration pic)  T-Shirt (96)
(Some Cincinnati Guy) Obvious When your heart stops, you die. Obvious tag keels over, goes to Elizabeth  T-Shirt (52)
(Some Roads Skaller) Dumbass Homeowner's gun control sign offends neighbors & spellcheck enthusiasts alike (with equally offensive article)  T-Shirt (612)
(MSN) PSA Before trying to write off your marijuana as a business expense, use your daughter's wedding as a tax write-off, or claim the entire population of New York City as dependents, the IRS suggests you consult a qualified tax attorney (39)
(Denver Channel) Ironic Man transporting Coors, obviously drinking something else, arrested for drunk driving  T-Shirt (35)
(UPI) Followup Iran test-fires surface-to-air photoshops  T-Shirt (73)
(Some Guy) Hero Clinton honors Butts, he cannot lie  T-Shirt (60)
(Alice1059) Amusing Not news: local radio station has contestants dress up like Madonna for concert tickets. Fark: they're all guys. Bonus: one of them says he's A-Rod's cousin  T-Shirt (23)
(LA Times) Interesting Underwater recordings explains why dolphins like staying in two New Jersey rivers: "Yo ay.... you lookin' fine. Ay hows about yuz and me take dis Grey Goose bottle and get wild huh? OH Hey....don't touch the hair baby"  T-Shirt (101)
(Reuters) Obvious Henry Paulson says thanks for the $700 billion, suckers  T-Shirt (113)
(Some Guy) Ironic Iran is crying because oil prices are down and 80% of their revenue comes from it. They're now begging OPEC, to please stop the butthurt or they might lose the ability to fund more terrorism  T-Shirt (178)
(Some Guy) Strange Woman finds frozen pig head on pole in her yard  T-Shirt (61)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting "The Simpsons" will do a crossword puzzle tie-in with the New York Times. Four across, "Show that now sucks, 11 letters"  T-Shirt (141)
(Some Guy) Asinine Motorist gets parking ticket after pulling her car over and standing beside it to observe two-minute silence on Nov. 11  T-Shirt (41)
(The Virginian Pilot) Interesting Supreme Court agrees to let Navy kill dolphins with their sonar. Suck it, hippies  T-Shirt (92)
(ABC News) Obvious Reverend Ted Haggard breaks silence, blames using male prostitutes on child abuse  T-Shirt (167)
(CNN) Dumbass After a year of intense discussion, the Federal task force commisioned to find ways to aid passengers trapped on the tarmac in delayed planes comes up with: not so much  T-Shirt (59)
(Miami Herald) Florida Whether you're trying to cut your electricity bill or hoping to avoid being impregnated by a spunky spirit, beware of phantom loads  T-Shirt (77)
(Wired) Obvious Man living in his own past sues Classmates.com for lying about his High School friends looking for him, as if normal people want anything to do with their High School if they don't have to  T-Shirt (172)
(CNN) Unlikely Religious sect you've never heard of, led by Corky Ra, wants to put up their monument on public land touting their beliefs including psychokenesis, vibration and sexual ecstasy  T-Shirt (72)
(Yahoo) Followup Paulson: The Empire will not purchase toxic assets. Jar Jar Banks: That was never a condition of our agreement. Paulson: I am altering the deal. Pray I don't alter it any further. It would be unfortunate if I had to leave a garrison here  T-Shirt (207)
(Some Editoral) Obvious Outside of Obama's pick for attorney general, not many people can claim to have been at the center of arguably the greatest financial disaster and greatest national security disaster  T-Shirt (256)
(London Times) Unlikely She goes to wife-swapping parties, logs on to swinging websites, and shows up to work drunk. What's not to like about the Reverend Teresa Davies?  T-Shirt (90)
(AP) Obvious The people of Bosnia still can't get along, but give them a uniform and impose a little discipline and they do just fine together. Who'da thunk it?  T-Shirt (35)
(London Times) Hero You're scientific adviser to the energy industry. Do you (a) warn about diminishing resources (b) warn about climate change or (c) Give up using any kind of powered vehicle, eat only raw food and run everywhere you need to go? (105)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this dripping dessert (27)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man gets hit in the groin by a 60 mph pitch from a pitching machine, collects $1.2 million for pain and suffering  T-Shirt (80)
(WFTV) Florida Former Congressman Mark Foley breaks silence on his involvement with underage male pages. Sex scandal confessional trifecta now in play  T-Shirt (94)
(AP) Strange Paranoia is on the rise say experts who won't quit following me, tapping my phone and clandestinely whizzing in my Cheerios  T-Shirt (35)
(NYPost) Cool A Chef's tour of Vegas  T-Shirt (78)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Parents who gave their infant vodka, filmed the result and uploaded it to YouTube are surprised to find that they're now wanted by the police for being child-endangering jackasses  T-Shirt (63)
(Telegraph) Strange Garden gnomes banned from church cemetery because they are 'unnatural creatures'  T-Shirt (60)
(Daily Mail) Scary German boy hurled through bathroom window after using toilet and sparking lighter  T-Shirt (89)
(Yorkshire Evening Post) Amusing Bungling robber attempts to raid a betting shop but when staff fight back he tries to run - straight into a store cupboard. What are the odds on that?  T-Shirt (28)
(Network World) Asinine "Hi, honey, I'm afraid I have bad news: I've been synergy-related headcount restructured"  T-Shirt (185)
(News.com.au) Amusing Those wacky European socialists are at it again, giving the green light to bent cucumbers, forked carrots, and other deviant fruits and vegetables. Gene Persimmons unavailable for comment  T-Shirt (35)
(Boston Herald) Stupid Local newspaper runs story about the outrage over advertisement for adultery website. Includes two catch phrases from the ad, two places to find the ad and the website itself  T-Shirt (108)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Interesting NC senator-elect Kay Hagen received 3600 donations within 48 hours after opponent Elizabeth Dole ran ads claiming she received money from Godless Americans PAC. In other news, NC voted out of Bible Belt  T-Shirt (328)
(NYPost) Fail Manhattan lawyer sues his estranged wife for cheating on him and giving him herpes, she tests negative and now wants herpes of his pie  T-Shirt (84)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Hero Obama pledges to lead the most open and transparent presidential transition in history, starting by pointing out how carefully worded all his promises regarding lobbyists were  T-Shirt (401)
(Reason Magazine) Ironic Food miles campaign (to eat local, save transport costs and energy) is "providing a new set of rhetorical tools to bolster protectionist interests that are fundamentally detrimental to most of humankind"  T-Shirt (162)
(USA Today) Scary Medicare's "drugging the elderly" program expected to rise in cost by 43 percent. And global warming has made ice floes nearly impossible to find  T-Shirt (35)
(AP) Dumbass Thieves sell $15K silver ingot for $30 because they needed the gas money  T-Shirt (40)
(AP) Scary 45 year olds found to have the arteries of obese 10 year olds  T-Shirt (88)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Man is refused Egg McMuffin, gives manager a McKnuckle Sandwich. That's an Unhappy Meal  T-Shirt (79)
(The Local (Germany)) Asinine German drugs commissioner wants warning labels on beer for pregnant women. If she feels that strongly about it, maybe they should just stop making beer for pregnant women  T-Shirt (17)
(Daily Mail) Obvious How Prince Charles and Camilla are turning into one another. "Neigh" you say, but it's true (pics)  T-Shirt (50)
(Time) Sappy Ugly-ass puppies taking over the internet. Article includes link to streaming webcam ugly-ass goodness. Subby not responsible for the resulting missing hours of your life  T-Shirt (113)
(11 Alive) Dumbass Restaurant loses liquor license after police spot pics of underage drinkers there on Facebook  T-Shirt (31)
(Some Guy) Scary El Paso high school dancers accused of lacing rivals' cupcakes with rat poison  T-Shirt (43)
(MSNBC) Cool The best beers for every season  T-Shirt (89)
(MSNBC) Obvious UN: Congo troops are raping and pillaging refugees, wonders if a letter will stop them  T-Shirt (117)
(Some Guy) Scary Neighbors' fears about released violent sex offender prove unfounded. Just kidding, he attacks reporters with a box cutter. With video goodness  T-Shirt (34)
(SeattlePI) Scary The cops have no idea who killed the guy, but whoever did it has already made bale  T-Shirt (24)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Woman addicted to cosmetic surgery turns herself into Jabba the Hutt by injecting cooking oil into her face. With "OMG KILL IT WITH FIRE" pics  T-Shirt (229)
(Yahoo) Obvious Oklahoma woman who was invited to Louisiana to take part in KKK initiation shot and killed when she asked to leave. Quote from sheriff pretty much sums it up: "The IQ level of this group is not impressive, to be kind."  T-Shirt (117)
(News.com.au) Amusing The search is on for Australia's biggest bogan. If you're not an Aussie and don't know what a bogan is, slip on a flanno, pull on your moccies, bum a durry off a stranger and crack open a VB while you get edjumacated  T-Shirt (79)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Australian Treasury Secretary: The world can get through the financial crisis if we all just smiled a little bit more  T-Shirt (47)
(Some Slinky) Photoshop Redesign the Slinky to appeal to today's kids. Bonus points if it requires batteries (40)
(MSNBC) Scary Wife killed by husband's coffin, denying him at least one day of peace and quiet  T-Shirt (33)
(Some Guy) Interesting Let your car idle longer than three minutes? That'll be a $250 fine  T-Shirt (105)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Woman, apparently the last on the planet to hear about Nigerian email scams, bilked out of $400,000  T-Shirt (122)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine "How to explain your money problems to your kids." Strangely enough, articles on "How not to burden your kids with your problems" nowhere to be found  T-Shirt (124)

Tue November 11, 2008
(MSNBC) Amusing As part of their "rewrite the rules of the Internet" program, US military bans YouTube, launches TroopTube  T-Shirt (106)
(Houston Chronicle) Interesting The Christmas Wars have begun after group reveals new ad campaign reading: "Why believe in a god? Just be good for goodness' sake." Not everyone is amused. "How do we define 'good' if we don't believe in God?"  T-Shirt (644)
(CBS New York) Dumbass Problem: school administrator sees student wearing scarf that may or may not be gang related. Solution: ban all students from wearing scarves to school just as winter is arriving  T-Shirt (110)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Universities are banning blood drives because they discriminate against gay people  T-Shirt (325)
(MSNBC) Weird Burned taxidermy shop rebuilt, stuffed version creeps out entire neighborhood  T-Shirt (22)
(Some Guy) Asinine The University of Texas gets its first gay fraternity. Contrary to popular belief, the other ones are straight  T-Shirt (150)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Man arrested for taking handful of wafers during communion. Maybe he was just hungry? With mug shot goodness  T-Shirt (109)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Interesting Hotels offering $40,000 inauguration day packages, Obama's first major impact on the economy  T-Shirt (279)
(ABC Action News) Florida School board passes bullying law, promptly gets a swirly  T-Shirt (58)
(News.com.au) Interesting Australia has world's highest rate of "shrinkage loss." And no, it's not what you think  T-Shirt (53)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Council rules the word "British" is as offensive as "negroes" and bans it in case it upsets Scots, Welsh and minorities  T-Shirt (103)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Roger Moore hates the new James Bond movie franchise. With cinematic masterpieces like Moonraker, who are we to argue?  T-Shirt (289)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Darque Tan sued over ad campaigns claiming that regular use of tanning beds decreases the occurrence of cancer, pasty white kids  T-Shirt (56)
(USA Today) Obvious Panda bites schoolgirl at animal sanctuary in what officials call a black-and-white case of aggression  T-Shirt (58)
(AP) Followup Syrian soil samples support nuclear suspicions  T-Shirt (120)
(MSN) Asinine Good: Erectile dysfunction drug company responds to complaints about its "Want longer lasting sex?" billboards by replacing them. FARK: With ones that say "Bonk longer"  T-Shirt (83)
(Sky News) Obvious QE2's reassignment to the middle east is a cover for opium shipment. QE2 trifecta complete  T-Shirt (20)
(SFGate) Interesting Missing 150-year-old tortoise returns home after going missing for six weeks. In related news, tortoises can go missing  T-Shirt (63)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop Obama fist bumping this kid (70)
(The hillbilly state) Sad If you had South Carolina as the most violent state in the country, step up and collect your prize  T-Shirt (159)
(WTVF-TV) Interesting A Nashville judge leaves people waiting in the courtroom while he goes off to do his other job as a funeral director. Where are Andy, Opie and Barney?  T-Shirt (18)
(Boston Globe) Cool 77-year-old to complete his 1000th race with a story that will make you want to put down the twinkie and go outside  T-Shirt (25)
(John Carney) Amusing 54 women you should avoid dating during the holidays  T-Shirt (311)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Note: If you're in Clearwater, and you take advantage of a free ticket on your car for a "freak show" - you'll surely get a freak show  T-Shirt (277)
(Speed Racer) Obvious Police issue radar gun to civlians, ones who have never, EVER broken a speed limit in their entire hypocritical lives  T-Shirt (132)
(WFTV) Asinine Further proof that Americans have the attention span of gnats: SUV sales get a jumpstart  T-Shirt (457)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Thieves use stolen fire extinguisher to misspell expletive in middle of street, angering neighbors, especially the English teachers  T-Shirt (62)
(CNN) Fail Are you rude? Since this is a quiz from Oprah, you know the answer. It's not news, it's CNN  T-Shirt (276)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Florida university students support lowering drinking age from 21 by 18 by building 40-person beer bong to prove they're responsible drinkers  T-Shirt (79)
(The Local (Sweden)) Sick Unrepentant Swedish dog sex enthusiast invokes 'biatch made me do it' defense: "She was the one who backed into me and provoked it." Article also includes eye-popping quotes from agriculture minister  T-Shirt (315)
(Free Press) Fail Evil Canadian arrested after failing to smuggle $2 million into Detroit. For once the fail tag is not for Detroit's mayor  T-Shirt (48)
(Rian.Ru) Amusing Moscow shop clerk foils pair of armed robbers by throwing cheese at them: "She hit one of them smack in the face with a very ripe gorgonzola, which must have been like getting a dose of natural CS gas"  T-Shirt (66)
(Reuters) Strange Entire church stolen. "Someone took it away brick by brick"  T-Shirt (131)
(AP) Interesting The economic crisis is so deep that bewildered administrators at Harvard are googling terms like "spending cut" and "budget" and "perrier-drinking twatwaffle"  T-Shirt (77)
(CBS Chicago) Fail "Hello, police? I'd like to report a robbery..Could you send an officer by? And when they get here tell them not to mind the growing pot, nazi stuff, fake badges and, and, and.."  T-Shirt (89)
(Daily Express) Amusing Glistening and looking splendid ahead of its landmark farewell voyage, the proud QE2 sets sail from port and promptly hits a sandbank  T-Shirt (62)
(AP) Interesting Another sign of a bad economy: the return of cattle rustling  T-Shirt (71)
(TC Palm) Florida "An apparent spat involving sardines and Vienna Sausages erupted into a beating and ended with a 43-year-old local man going to jail" (w/ mugshot goodness)  T-Shirt (102)
(KJRH) Weird Okie newspaper decides not to carry Obama victory because "it's not local news"  T-Shirt (438)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the start of this road race (49)
(AP) Amusing "Leave it to Beaver" actor to have work shown at the Louvre. Gee, Wally, what were you trying to say there?  T-Shirt (60)
(ClusterStock) Obvious Having spent most of their bail-out money on this year's bonuses, Wall Street will soon need more bail-out money to cover next year's bonuses  T-Shirt (382)
(CBC) Hero Lest we forget. On the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month 90 years ago WWI ended. Subby lifts a glass in toast to fallen comrades  T-Shirt (392)
(BBC) Weird Woman lives full time on QE2 cruise ship. Bonus: costs less than Manhattan apartment. Extra bonus: Includes food, booze, dancing  T-Shirt (156)
(Boston Herald) Amusing Man offers police driving lessons after he keeps outrunning them  T-Shirt (63)
(St. Petersburg Times) Amusing Slayed by Zero: Even The Fixx hates the new Toyota commercial  T-Shirt (302)
(The Sun) Followup Australian python OM-NOM-NOMs second cockatoo in nine days, technically making it a cockafour  T-Shirt (48)
(Toronto Sun) Fail Man faces jailtime in U.S. for being Canadian  T-Shirt (192)
(USA Today) Interesting US Supreme Court considers far-reaching forensic evidence case that could change how prosecutors operate. CSI, Bones fidget nervously  T-Shirt (166)
(Bloomberg) PSA Radioactive beer kegs menace public. Wait, what?  T-Shirt (43)
(Some Guy) Cool Intel releases first home medical device, which combines a laptop application, database system, and continuous synching to stay in touch with doctors. "Busty Nurse" add-on available separately  T-Shirt (48)
(Washington Post) Hero "Lieutenant Durkee, who's buried over there, he yelled to fix bayonets and let's go." Remember the sacrifices of our Veterans today  T-Shirt (269)
(Daily Mail) Scary "Helter Skelter II: Electric Bugaloo" starring Drew Barrymore  T-Shirt (82)
(USA Today) Interesting Americans are OK with throwing bailout money at airlines, banks, investors, mortgage brokers, and foreign countries, but screw those auto industry farkers  T-Shirt (316)
(First Coast News) Florida Latest sighting of Jesus? Check your French toast. Where's the syrupy tag?  T-Shirt (46)
(CBS Sacramento) Sappy Ways to reduce chances of dying from cancer: Stop smoking, exercise, drive car off 45-foot overpass  T-Shirt (20)
(The Earth Times) Obvious Asia's richest woman gives away her fortune to Feng Shui master who promised her eternal life. Didn't work  T-Shirt (53)
(AP) Obvious Jewish groups want the Mormons to stop sending Holocaust victims to Heaven  T-Shirt (367)
(Gizmodo) Cool SdrawkcaB emiT slleT hctaW icniV ad odranoeL  T-Shirt (70)
(Daily Express) Asinine Nanny state spends $6,000 to fine man who 'knocked over his trash can'...$120  T-Shirt (51)
(Daily Mail) Asinine A glimpse into the new United States: Unemployed woman in England has five kids, no husband, no job, lives off of government benefits and gets to live in a million pound home  T-Shirt (311)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this flag-waving whistle blower (32)
(Some Guy) Scary Combine versus car, with OM NOM NOM pic and video goodness  T-Shirt (88)
(MSNBC) Sick Today's too-many-dogs-in-a-house story comes from Tucson AZ and easily sets a record at 800. Your dog wants a better place to live  T-Shirt (56)
(Yahoo) Stupid Study shows that "Drinking milk may ease milk allergies." In other news, I'm going to eat a bunch of cancer......just in case  T-Shirt (145)
(TC Palm) Florida 15-year-old boy with baggie of parsley arrested for possession of a counterfeit controlled substance with the intent to deliver  T-Shirt (194)

Mon November 10, 2008
(Lima News) Dumbass Stupid: Doin' donuts in the neighbor's front yard. Fark: Doin' donuts in the courthouse front yard  T-Shirt (52)
(some overstuffed purse gal) Unlikely You know you have too much shiat in your purse when it stops a .38 bullet  T-Shirt (85)
(Reuters) Dumbass Hugo Chavez: "If the people elect someone whom I don't agree with, I will send tanks to preserve the REAL will of the people". Wait.... what?  T-Shirt (359)
(AP) Sad How to tell alcoholism is in the family: 1) Mother gets DUI with 1 year-old in car. 2) Call father to get son and he gets DUI for coming drunk. 3) Call two grandparents...you can see where this is going  T-Shirt (62)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Tesla tickle (44)
(Stuff) Scary Peru offers Obama a Peruvian Hairless to be the first dog, give Malia and Sasha nightmares. Yes, there is a pic  T-Shirt (273)
(Comcast News) Sad World's ugliest dog dies after battle with cancer. Ugly ass pictures included, with respect  T-Shirt (61)
(News.com.au) Scary Medical procedure turns man's penis black, but not the way his wife had hoped  T-Shirt (84)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Investing in an $11 hammer to steal a $9 bottle of hooch shows our children aren't learning basic math skills  T-Shirt (55)
(Telegraph) Strange How abstract is abstract art? So abstract that paintings by artist Mark Rothko have been hanging the wrong way at exhibition and no one seems willing to move them  T-Shirt (313)
(St. Petersburg Times) Fail Two arrested after trying to burn down the "Bottoms Up" strip club, charged with attempted arsen  T-Shirt (77)
(MSNBC) Interesting 2,000 year old golden earring found in Jerusalem. How did they find it? Radar, love  T-Shirt (134)
(Herald Tribune) Stupid Bake sale ban forces students to leave campus for fundraiser "in a flagrant act of nutritional disobedience"  T-Shirt (131)
(Some Guy) Amusing "It's hard to believe that the sight of an armless man walking along with a giant TV clamped to his body did not get anyone's attention"  T-Shirt (83)
(Daily Record (UK)) Dumbass Couple busted for sex in a car park. Initially they got frisky on the freeway exit, but decided it was a turn-off  T-Shirt (74)
(AP) Followup "Peanuts" voice actress convicted of contempt of court, sounding like a muffled trumpet  T-Shirt (94)
(AP) Scary Kamakazi birds force Ryanair jet to land in Rome with final suicide mission pact as birds fly into engines. "The giant silver overlord is down....repeat, the giant silver overlord is down"  T-Shirt (57)
(KHOU Houston) Sad Why all women including elephants should get the HPV vaccine  T-Shirt (103)
(Engadget) Obvious Internet addiction symptoms include poor sleep, irritability, mental distress and a "yearning to be online" -- a condition that we typically call "visiting the in-laws"  T-Shirt (55)
(Local6) Florida In a cold move guaranteed to heat tempers, high school bans ice dispenser after students have ice fight. Slick  T-Shirt (43)
(Topless Robot) Obvious Top 8 sci-fi/fantasy books that most desperately need movies made of them  T-Shirt (1025)
(CNN) Interesting Bush approval rating the lowest ever recorded. Mission accomplished  T-Shirt (560)
(Telegraph) Obvious Red squirrel named Elvis The Pelvis attacks writer of children's books that star squirrels after man nursed him back to health. Safe to say he's feeling better, not like the writer (pic)  T-Shirt (67)
(AP) Sad Teen who had done a high school study on teen highway crashes now wishes she had studied art or history  T-Shirt (108)
(Irish Sun) Obvious Reactions limp to aesthetic prosthetic penises that will be supplied free to eligible transsexual men  T-Shirt (102)
(Daily Express) Interesting TV cooking shows adjust to credit crisis by featuring recipes involving liver, kidneys, tripe and other cheap parts of the animal that people usually throw away  T-Shirt (142)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Picking Up A Whore 101: Do's and Don'ts - 1.) Don't pick up the whores in the marked Secret Service patrol car, and for Christ's sake, don't wear your Secret Service uniform while you're picking them up  T-Shirt (58)
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious Obama is already sitting down with an unpopular, aggressive world leader without preconditions  T-Shirt (499)
(Newsday) Silly Undercover cops uncover a pair of unlicensed massage therapists in most relaxing, invigorating bust ever  T-Shirt (49)
(Some other Cincinnati Guy) Sad Economic crisis FINALLY hits Main Street  T-Shirt (117)
(MSNBC) Interesting Woman abandons daughter in Nebraska under the new law. Fark: daughter is 18  T-Shirt (140)
(Google) Photoshop Iron Photoshop ingredient: balloons (46)
(News9.com) Amusing Dog awarded law degree. Experience chasing cars was natural advantage in learning to chase ambulances  T-Shirt (41)
(BBC) Amusing Gary Glitter to be removed from English school music exams, Vietnamese schoolchildren  T-Shirt (53)
(FARK) Spiffy Fark headlines of the week, November 3 - November 9 (21)
(MSNBC) Scary Today's Fark-ready headline: "Unaware police carry guns, mountain lion charges at officer"  T-Shirt (81)
(Some Guy) Spiffy A list of Secret Service Code Names ---- hmmm...the guy with 5 kids is "Driller"  T-Shirt (137)
(Reuters) Strange There is a correlation between the rise of Internet porn and the death of elderly people from heart failure. Who will save Social Security? Naked Internet models, that's who  T-Shirt (31)
(Guardian.com) Sad Wanted: New premises for self-sufficient, close-knit family of 300,000. Inland location preferred, sovereignty a must. No reasonable offer refused. Call Anni  T-Shirt (157)
(Reuters) Obvious The REAL reason for the financial collapse? To make it easier for the Trilaterals, Masons and Illuminati to institute a world government  T-Shirt (202)
(PhysOrg.com) Misc H5N1 bird flu confirmed in Thailand. Madagascar closes its borders  T-Shirt (64)
(Daily Express) Interesting Breast feeding prevents babies getting asthma. But not boredom, judging by this kid's face  T-Shirt (192)
(NJ.com) Sick It doesn't take a whiz to figure out that this councilman is just looking out for number one, and doesn't care about the peons beneath him  T-Shirt (106)
(CNN) Fail Circuit City files for bankruptcy, asks judge to rename all their stores "Best Buy"  T-Shirt (178)
(MSN) PSA Things to hide when the in-laws come to visit for the holidays. Yes, porn does make the list  T-Shirt (143)
(Telegraph) Cool French food manufacturer recalls couscous packets: "Three months after they were made, a bomb-like effect was observed in stores"  T-Shirt (52)
(SFGate) Dumbass Rookie cop resigns after pic of him giving the Nazi salute turns up. Oh, and the guy dressed as a Klansman next to him didn't help  T-Shirt (130)
(PressHerald.com) Dumbass After the police were called on them 41 times in October, students are upset with the new rules at their apartment complex, calling it ''Bayside Village Student Jail'' and the management a ''dictatorship''  T-Shirt (193)
(CBC) Sad Man who was to be honoured for reducing his carbon footprint finds a way to reduce his carbon footprint even further  T-Shirt (94)
(Yahoo) Interesting Nurse from famous Times Square photo reunites with the Navy. And yes, the accompanying picture does show that she is getting mounted by a young and randy sailor  T-Shirt (123)
(KnoxNews) Asinine Problem: School districts losing federal funding over failing grades. Solution: Remove all failing grades  T-Shirt (148)
(SeattlePI) Weird Woman goes to dentist for breast reduction surgery, is shocked when he botches the job. In his defense, what she was asking for is difficult to accomplish when all you've got is tiny little drills  T-Shirt (66)
(China Daily) Strange Chinese sex-fair checklist: High entrance fee, lingerie show, sexology forum, photo show on sexual heath and... eugenics?  T-Shirt (88)
(CBC) Dumbass Unruly NWT flight passenger arrested after punching pilot during flight, which is kind of like poking holes in your parachute while skydiving  T-Shirt (38)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this big white bear (58)
(News.com.au) Weird Man stabs wife with a pair of scissors before hitting her in the head with a rock. Unfortunately, she didn't realise that paper would have covered rock  T-Shirt (26)
(UPI) Hero Governator: We will maybe undo Prop 8  T-Shirt (1861)
(News.com.au) Amusing Local mayor on new slasher flick filmed in his area: "It has been good, it has brought a lot more tourists to the West Coast -- unfortunately, they are all too scared to get out of their cars"  T-Shirt (15)
(BBC) Stupid Nanny state is now working to ban Happy Hour at pubs  T-Shirt (149)
(AZCentral) Spiffy Because of the state budget crunch, students in Arizona may only have to go to school four days a week  T-Shirt (70)
(SFGate) Interesting In WWII, the U.S. military used such torturous interrogation techniques such as spas, steam rooms and cocktail parties to get enemy operatives to divulge information  T-Shirt (125)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida In case you don't have enough reasons to avoid Florida, it could soon be invaded by the Madagascar hissing cockroach, the Turkestan cockroach, the lobster roach and the orange spotted roach  T-Shirt (85)
(Gizmodo) Weird FEMA firefighters manual covers UFO crashes, how to treat injured aliens  T-Shirt (85)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Jail video camera conveniently "malfunctions" for five minutes after accused cop-killer is strangled to death in his cell  T-Shirt (172)
(Wired) Dumbass In these tough economic times, one adage holds true: There's a sucker born every minute  T-Shirt (96)
(It's A Turtle) Photoshop Photoshop this Rorschach inkblot (68)