If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
GoogleWeb Fark
Sun December 07, 2008
(Washington Post) PSA If you're going to steal the church collection plate be sure the priest isn't also a marathon runner (12)
(CBS Sacramento) Interesting Danish CEO wanted for fraud turns self in to Los Angeles police, escapes death when officers figure out he doesn't have a cream cheese center (15)
(KREM) Hero After mother yells "My baby, my baby", man rushes into a burning building to save a baby trapped on the 2nd floor. So cliché (63)
(Some New Amsterdamer) Interesting Christmas time traditions: eggnog, presents, caroling, and you can't forget the special "Christmas Quiz" by none other than Bill O'Rielly (68)
(International Herald Tribune) Obvious Fear produces more fear and inhibits sound decision-making processes. EVERYBODY PANIC (65)
(London Times) Sad Why the proliferation of sexual abuse lawsuits has made men unwilling to volunteer for just about anything where children are in the same area code, let alone the same building. Tag is for this society (239)
(UPI) Asinine Mom bans her son from playing Nintendo's Scrabble because she doesn't want him to know that "tits" is a word. Um, mom...he already knows (86)
(News.com.au) Fail Riot squad, police helicopter, and K-9 units dispatched to deal with 600-person brawl outside Sydney pub, resulting in 3 arrests. That's some damn fine police work there, Bruce. And Bruce. And you too, Bruce (38)
(USA Today) Asinine UN: Rich countries should give $130 billion to poor countries so their leaders can spend it on fancier palac- we mean "global warming prevention" (66)
(Metro) Obvious Smoker fined for littering after his cigarette was knocked from his hand in scuffle as he was helping police subdue a shoplifter. "No excuses will be accepted" (143)
(UPI) Dumbass If you recently donated a pair of boots to a Milwaukee thrift store, you might be a colossal dumbass (78)
(CNN) Asinine Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli: "...the majority of the Senators said that ... they've got 60, 70, 80,000 miles. The comment was you guys are making them too good and therefore, we're not buying vehicles ... " (308)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Rejected role playing games (69)
(AP) Interesting Nobel prize winner says the Internet might have stopped Hitler. Is there anything it can't do? (87)
(YouTube) Interesting Siskel and Ebert's review of "A Christmas Story". Siskel: "I wonder if anyone will go see this" (167)
(Florida Today) Florida You stroll out of your home and, lo and behold, you find a baggie of pot right there on your driveway. What do you do? Decisions, decisions (118)
(Wall Street Journal) Unlikely By mid-career, median philosophy major paid more than chemistry major. SNAP (170)
(The Sun) Cool Ugly-assed twin elephants born in Nepal Zoo. The Sun has the aww pics for you (20)
(Some Guy) Amusing Best Amazon review you'll see in the next 47 minutes (74)
(Toronto Star) Obvious Revolutionary study concludes that losing your job makes you more likely to stay home (49)
(Metro) Strange Hotels reveal strangest requests. Submitter's request for three coconuts, a banjo and a picture of Linda Hunt didn't make the list (52)
(Reuters) Asinine Car Czar proposed for auto industry bailout. The War on Cars has begun (123)
(LA Times) Fail In an effort to break a terrorism group, Maryland police admit that they bugged a silent vigil held by a group of Catholic nuns (110)
(SFGate) Amusing Non'trée (nŏn-trā'): Downwardly-mobile restaurant guest forced to consume appetizers in hope of saving money while maintaining lifestyle. In related news, waiters can be pretty clever when they're not being snooty (154)
(London Times) Unlikely New food source in these troubled economic times: pigeon. "The small birds can make a great alternative to turkey at Christmas" (pic) (75)
(UPI) Interesting Sixteen-year-old gets college degree in just two years. Expected to be named junior assistant manager AND man the fry station at McDonalds (100)
(Reuters) Interesting Britain accused of planning an invasion of Zimbabwe. This is not a repeat headline from 1888 (92)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Cop's lawyer invokes the Benny Hill defense and claims the videotape showing his client brutalizing a woman was doctored and sped up (69)
(The Chronicle Telegram) Followup The library director who said "if a library doesn't have something that offends, it's not doing its job" over the crazy Santa display has decided they have been doing their job a little to well and yanks the display (43)
(KTLA) Asinine Jack Sparrow actors at Disneyland get the ol' heave ho for being too sexy. Fark: after being flashed by teen girls. UltraFark: replaced by fairies (112)
(Sunday Mail) Fail Those twelve rescue/engine apparatus you just bought for the fire service? Yeah, um, there's just one minor detail we forgot to mention (42)
(WOAI) Dumbass Today's teacher arrested for sexual contact with a student brought to you by San Antonio, Texas. (With "Hey, she was 18, so fark it" pic) (127)
(Reuters) Unlikely Iran claims it could shut down the Strait of Hormuz with its new surface-to-surface photoshop technology (140)
(Washington Post) Hero Comcast technician saves six people from burning building, then visits customer to take a well-deserved nap on the couch (38)
(AP) Amusing You gotta love an article that begins, "A hooker and a Baptist minister having sex in a seedy motel room, where a camera was hidden in a clock radio" (38)
(Some Guy) Interesting Hells Angels transfer large sum of money from the hookers and blow account into newly formed legal defense fund (with "we so bad" photo) (78)
(MSNBC) PSA Public warned not to eat Irish pork, especially the McRib (75)
(themorningnews .org) Photoshop Photoshop this partial plane (56)
(NYPost) Obvious Sidewalk solicitors in NYC purporting to collect money for the homeless are pocketing the funds themselves. In other news, sky is blue and snow is wet (61)
(The Local (Germany)) Strange Thief steals St. Nicolas Day presents from two households. Police searching for a green, furry individual riding a sled pulled by a tiny dog with huge antlers strapped to its head (24)
(Independent) Scary Pollution causes smaller penises. Vicious cycle for Hummer drivers (128)
(Boston Globe) Amusing Looking for work? How well do you know wieners? (44)
(Fox News) Amusing Court OKs diaper evidence at astronaut's trial. Will she win? Depends (45)
(azfamily.com) Interesting Both Jesus and the Virgin Mary have been spotted in the Phoenix-area. Even stranger, the locals aren't surprised. "She comes out because she wants everyone to know its her birthday and it's something she wants us to celebrate." (61)
(AP) Hero 12/07/41. Remember Pearl Harbor (352)
(Albany Times Union) Fail Nearly 50% of students end up vomiting during the language department's "Bring your favorite dish to class day". No mas, por favor (53)
(London Times) Interesting Researchers devise mathematical formula for procrastinators to work out their chances of overcoming their weakness. You would have gotten around to this... eventually. The science can wait until tomorrow (30)
(some Yat) Dumbass If you're a famous New Orleans TV/radio sportscaster planning on murdering your wife, it's probably best not to leave a handwritten checklist for the deed in your FEMA trailer (35)
(Yahoo) Interesting Is our geniuses gone? (254)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail Virgin hitman pleads guilty for accepting cash & crack in exchange for shooting at the engineers of two commuter trains, neither of which was his target. This is why nobody makes crackhead hitman movies (31)
(CBS Chicago) Florida Hey kids, wanna get out of class AND not have to deal with your parents? Have I got a solution for you (42)
(Daily Mail) Interesting American chopper pilots in Afghanistan may have mistaken scores of sheep for Taliban fighters (76)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this equation expert (61)
(AP) Obvious New Jersey communities begin charging drivers up to $2,500 for accident-related spill cleanup, and if you think that's a bit much you can take it up with Louie No-Nose from the state legislature's waste-haulage subcommittee (38)
(Daily Mail) Scary Man:0, Wild:1 (345)
(Some Guy) Florida In the movies, one twin is always athletic and popular while the other one twin is geeky and shy. On Fark, both twins are psychotic arsonists (44)

Sat December 06, 2008
(Kenosa News) Stupid The dumbest joke that you will probably ever read wins $3,000 grand prize from Reader's Digest (559)
(Google) Interesting Workers take over Chicago factory. Because company's creditor (bailout welfare whore Bank Of America) says not to pay them (205)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting TV medical dramas cause people to avoid hospitals. HMO's lobby congress for more medical dramas on network television (67)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this SNAFU (100)
(XKCD) Interesting Submitter's love life, nicely summarized in a 13-panel comic strip (344)
(SeattlePI) Cool Once a week for one year, filmmaker ties camera around cat's neck to document its life. Out of the 20,000 photos taken, 73 were interesting (82)
(Boston Globe) Cool It's December and so begins the flood of "polar bear plunge" stories. (With, for once, a nice looking woman in a bikini instead of a big fat guy in a speedo pic) (108)
(Canada.com) Interesting Ways to greenify your holidays. Two words: reindeer stew (39)
(Some Guy) Cool Good news: Texas A&M offers free tuition program for incoming freshmen. Bad news: you still have to live in College Station (123)
(Daily Record (UK)) Stupid Football hooligans starting awfully young these days. An 8-year-old boy has already earned a lifetime ban from playing soccer locally because of his "aggressive behavior" (31)
(UPI) Strange Australian authorities may add third or even fourth gender as means of sexual identification. "Sheep shagger" still waiting for recognition (115)
(MSNBC) Sad Sunny von Bulow, 76, finally dies 28 years after getting a nasty little present from Claus (57)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this La Paz putt (58)
(Some Guy) Amusing Max Planck Institute Journal focuses on China, asks reporter for "elegant Chinese poem" for cover. What they printed: ad for Chinese strip club (61)
(WCBS 880) Sappy Ugly-ass flying foxes rescued. (They really are kinda ugly) (63)
(Evening Sun) Dumbass Man claims "he had permission from the FAA to test brakes" when he got busted doing donuts on an airport runway. As a matter of fact, yes, alcohol was involved (21)
(Reason Magazine) Hero To prove that the cops routinely lie and use illegal tactics to justify drug raids, Barry Cooper set up some fully legal grow lamps in his house. His lawyer and the cameras were waiting when the police barged in less than 24 hours later (617)
(Some Guy) Scary If a guy on a lonely country road at midnight flashes his lights to get you to pull over, don't do it. If you pull off the road anyway, and he walks up to your car with his hoodie up and his face covered, you should probably drive off (64)
(some fine police work, Lou) Asinine Ohio police storm a farmhouse, hold a couple and their grandchildren at gunpoint for nine hours. Was it for (a) a drug operation (b) conspiracy for terrorism or (c) some licensing complaint about running a food co-op? (85)
(Yahoo) Obvious Farmer grows 25-pound potato. "It's the first time I've seen anything like it." Slow news day (pic) (74)
(Some Guy) Strange Drew's disembodied head fights unicorns on the Fark level of the strangest game ever created (114)
(The Local (Germany)) Interesting "London Bridge is falling down..." No, wait it's the Brandenburg Gate (19)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Interesting Tacoma police are looking for a bank robber who fired shots in the air. Describe him as a short man, wearing a hat, with a long red moustache (36)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Followup Atheists place a sign near a nativity at the state Capitol, Bill O'Reilly goes nuts, theists steal the sign, an Elf shows up to pass out business cards, there's a festivus pole, and then things get weird (622)
(radioactive) Interesting ♫ ♩ Well I'm not uptight ♪ ♫ Not unattracted ♪ Turn me on tonight ♬ ♪ Cause I'm radioactive.... Radioactive ♬ (47)
(Jalopnik) Cool Massive secret mustang junkyard found in Rhode Island forest (126)
(The Sun) Interesting "People know I'm blind and when they see me up a stepladder doing the lights. I can tell in their voices they're a little panicked" He should see the look on his guide dog's face (42)
(Kansas City) Hero Kansas City's Secret Santa has begun his rounds of health clinics and shelters passing out $100 bills. Bonus: this year he's franchised to St. Louis (28)
(Sun Sentinel) Amusing The good old days: when beating your wife because she served stale coffee was considered a solid advertising campaign (153)
(Google) PSA This is really not a good time to prank-call the president of Pakistan and tell him India is going to attack. So just don't do it (56)
(AP) Amusing Obama ponders what to do with $30 million left over in his war chest. However, if he blows it all in just 30 days, he'll actually get $300 million (148)
(WCBS 880) Photoshop Photoshop this podium scene (64)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Daschle asks Americans for health care stories. Well, there's this little pimply thing on the head of my... oh, wait, sorry, wrong story (86)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Saudi Arabians get outraged because Americans were hired to redesign Mecca. Which is surprising since they never seem to get outraged about anything, ever (99)
(BBC) Cool Charlie don't surf -- but maybe Achmed will when he gets a load of these biatchin' boards (50)
(WFTV) Florida During robbery, gunman forces store manager to undress so he won't follow the suspect. Which is usually a clever tactic, but not when robbing a clothing store (9)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Should Atari ever bow to public pressure and release a new version of Paperboy, they should plan on adding "anti-terror police" to the obstacles you might face (39)
(Yahoo) Asinine There's only two things I hate in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures and the Dutch (75)
(People Magazine) Spiffy Forget the cabinet picks. The Chosen One chooses his Inaugural tuxedo (64)
(Live Science) Obvious Our precious snowflakes need to be taken down a couple of notches and be told that they ain't all that (267)
(Mercury News) Obvious Dear Santa, this year please bear in mind that I should be presumed innocent until proven guilty (30)
(The Sun) Dumbass Wearing a Britney Spears schoolgirl outfit in public is no way to go through life, especially when you're a 59-year-old man. The Sun is there with "The goggles, they do nothing" pic (58)
(Houston Chronicle) Cool Fluffy the cat spends three months lost in Yellowstone wilderness, is home in time for Caturday (410)
(UPI) Stupid A pointy rock on the floor of a cave may suggest climate was the cause of the Roman Empire collapsing (94)
(Daily Mail) Strange News: Man bleeds to death. Fark: From picking his nose too much (64)
(Boing Boing) Strange Old & busted: black velvet Jesus. New hotness: black velvet Obama...nude and riding a unicorn (55)
(News.com.au) Interesting The hospital crunch in Australia is so bad, men and women are sharing the same rooms. "I said to the nurse: 'Look, it's embarrassing.'" (42)
(NJ.com) Dumbass If you are in a locked prison cell, setting fire to it is probably not the smartest thing you can do (26)
(Komo) Cool Alien ships masked by clouds approach Mt. Rainer (pics) (75)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this silhouette amidst circles (44)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Homeless guy arrested after telling Salvation Army volunteer "If you don't stop ringing that bell, I am going to shove it up your a--" (122)
(London Times) Interesting Most conclusive evidence yet about how tough things are getting in America: sales of Spam are soaring (137)
(USA Today) News Congress and White House reach agreement for $15 billion bailout for Big 3 automakers (879)

Fri December 05, 2008
(Telegraph) Interesting Cheapest woman alive celebrates Christmas with an 80-year-old tree sadder than Charlie Brown's, bought at Woolworths for 3 old pence in 1929 (70)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this near-pristine park scene (74)
(Cleveland) Stupid White teacher binds two black students to teach the class about slavery. Jewish students seen changing classes before the Holocaust chapter (131)
(AP) Dumbass Mailing a letter to your congressman can sometimes get you your way. But not if that letter threatens to decapitate him and is stained with blood (31)
(News.com.au) Cool Car maker unveils a vehicle powered by household garbage. However, it can only reach 88 mph (63)
(CBS News) Interesting Three million Muslims in Mecca for annual hajj, stampede (318)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing TSG's Friday mugshot roundup: Bail me out (231)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Cops raid an elderly couple's home after mistaking the aroma of garden moss for marijuana. "Give us the weed man" (50)
(Guardian.com) Silly The Guardian, always a bastion of hard-hitting journalism, pores over publicly available documents and thinks it has discovered President Bush's deep, dark secret: He can't swim. Their evidence? His new house doesn't have a pool (49)
(Lincoln JournalStar) Stupid If you live in Nebraska and can't remember buying a Canadian Lottery ticket, you should probably think twice about cashing that check for $4980... and then sending most of it to Houston to pay 'taxes' (40)
(My Fox Kansas City) Followup Interstate Bakeries cleared to exit bankruptcy - Will rise to the occasion, and make some dough. I thought they were toast. Twinkie (41)
(News.com.au) Sad Wife in the middle of a bitter divorce uses her husband's $1000 bottle of wine to make a spaghetti sauce. "I'd never seen Tony cry before." (229)
(Radio Exile) Amusing Official Timeline To Coldplay Ripping Everybody Off (135)
(AP) Interesting Bill O'Reilly to stop doing his radio talk show "The Radio Factor." When asked how he felt about leaving, he said he falafel  T-Shirt (170)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Mug shot of the 19-y-o stripper arrested for assault after throwing shoe at woman who called her the "C-word" (148)
(Some Drag Racer) Asinine Bad: Thieves steal your Audi's wheels and leave it up on blocks. Worse: The city drags it to the impound lot, doing $20,000 worth of damage (98)
(ABC News) Obvious Woman divorces husband so she can afford life-saving cancer surgery, but must endure jokes about how she already got rid of a 200-pound tumor (pic) (105)
(FARK) Survey Headline of the Year contest gearing up - accepting nominations. See the post that is first (255)
(AP) Strange Think your ancestors were taken and sold as slaves? Now you can look it up in the new Trans-Atlantic Slave Trade database. Really (220)
(AP) Obvious Government relaxes ban on concealed firearms in national parks as more and more Americans fear for the safety of their pic-a-nic baskets (266)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting China successfully launches "hybrid" rocket. It was crossed with a poodle, which makes it a rocketdoodle (70)
(Hampton Roads) Dumbass Three arraigned for attempted robbing of Civil War grave-or is this a mere smokescreen for Lincoln's pre-emptive illegal, immoral war against the sovereign states of the Confederacy? (81)
(Seattle Times) Asinine It's time for the annual "Whose the biggest assclown attention whore contest: Atheists or Theists?" (379)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting Blogger spends a year doing everything Oprah told her. Now her life is perfect (62)
(WBBM) Fail "Officer, I was just going undercover. I heard that that Sen. Craig was going to be here in this restroom and I just wanted a picture, honest" (30)
(Bye-bye OJ) Caption Caption what OJ is thinking as he is sentenced to 6 years in prison (197)
(CBS Philadelphia) Asinine Today's made up media word of the day concerning teen behavior - "sexting" (99)
(Guardian.com) Cool 2008 is the coolest year of the decade according to climate scientists. 2001 voted most uncool (255)
(Some Guy) Obvious College newspaper refuses to apologize for column suggesting if gay marriage were legalized, people would be marrying sheep next, even though they would (344)
(Boston Herald) Scary Morbidly obese dog freezes to Wisconsin sidewalk, survives. Your dog wants propylene glycol (78)
(Some Guy) Interesting If you are reading this headline, the punishment is death (108)
(Washington Post) Asinine Turns out that in Montgomery County, it is a crime to sell Christmas trees prior to Dec. 5. Meet the folks who found out the hard way (71)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Congressmen in favor of auto bailout found to have ties to GM. Romero on the scene (90)
(Some Ho. Ho ho) Followup Remember yesterday's crappy Christmas UK theme park? Meet its soon-to-be-shut-down cousin (20)
(Cracked) Obvious The X Most Blankiest Somethings in the History of Whatever. Still no cure for Cracked lists (66)
(Political Wire) Amusing Obama speechwriter caught groping Hillary Clinton -- or at least a cardboard cut out of her (105)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Conservative Republican upset because new $621 million capitol visitor center is a huge waste if taxpayer money. Just kidding: he's really upset because it doesn't mention God enough (266)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Triple Play: Yoda, Yoga, and Yogi (48)
(National Review) Ironic Managing editor of NRO calls for an end to divisive and intellectually dishonest opinion journalism. No, really. This isn't a joke (171)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Witness uses the "N" word and landmark tobacco case ends in mistrial. Dumbass tag would beat Florida tag to a pulp if it could stop coughing long enough (72)
(Some Dog) Florida Apparently barking at the judge during your robbery/murder hearing no longer work in court. "I'm going to consider your bark as an acknowledgment that you understand what I just told you." (44)
(AP) Scary If you are thinking of going crazy and living in a state nut hut, don't do it in Texas (89)
(toptenz) Amusing Top 10 useless college degrees. Subby's school got the honorable mention (link comes and goes; post with full list moved to top of thread) (430)
(UPI) Obvious NY health officials: "Marijuana is holding you back." Public: "That's like, your personal opinion, man" (144)
(Some Guy) Strange "Hey, man, I just killed this guy. Can you order me a pizza? Thanks"  T-Shirt (28)
(ABC News) Sad In case you didn't have enough reasons to avoid marriage, feel free to add "incurs the wrath of Poseidon" to your list (84)
(Salon) Dumbass Here's a thought if you're a centigenarian entertainer trying repair your soiled reputation in Europe maybe you should skip the reminiscing 'bout the good ol' days when you were Hitler's drinking buddy (46)
(Q13 FOX News Seattle) Followup Atheist sign disappears from Capitol, turns up at local radio station. Nope, nothing suspicious there (921)
(Reading Eagle) Interesting Actual headline: "Wily coyote on the loose." Last seen launching out of giant slingshot (46)
(Think Progress) Dumbass US Attorney in Pittsburgh: "I don't care who's President. I appoint myself to the next term." Yes, she's the one who hired Monica Goodling. Why do you ask? (118)
(Independent) NewsFlash Former running back to become former tight end (429)
(Reuters) Interesting The repeal of Prohibition provided the government with much-needed tax revenue during the Great Depression. If only there were other commodities that could be legalized and taxed similar to alcohol (224)
(Some Topless Robot Guy) Weird The 10 most disturbing puppets ever shown on TV. Subby forgot all about #2 when he was a kid (202)
(About.com) Stupid Today's Sign of God: Jesus Appears on Les Paul Electric Guitar. Opening Bid: $200 (59)
(News 10 ABC Sacramento) Weird Man was fined $500 and sentenced to 60 hours of community service for starting a $37 million fire that destroyed 30 homes (42)
(TC Palm) Florida Virgin Mary in Florida woman's brain scan. Actual brain nowhere to be found (35)
(Rolling Stone) Spiffy Stephen Colbert calls on audience to topple Kanye West's album from the top of the charts on ITunes. And whaddaya know, he did it (207)
(comcast.net) Dumbass When you turn 26 years old, it's still not ok to attack a speed camera with a pick axe (54)
(NYPost) Obvious In a revelation that will surely shock everyone, bartender says Plaxico Burress was acting like a jerk before he shot himself. "Burress was an ass." (118)
(My Fox DC) Unlikely DC estimates five million for Inauguration Day. That many people crowding the National Mall (146 acres) gives each person 1.27 sq. ft. to stand in -- just about the size of the length of your shoes. Nothing could possibly go wrong here (134)
(Washington Post) Obvious Surprising and shocking everyone, a study commissioned by "Mayors Against Illegal Guns" just happens to conclude that states with lax gun laws have more gun violence (111)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Experts worry that German newspaper's 'Cheap cameras for amateur reporters' offer will threaten quality journalism. Because it takes years of training to lay in a gutter photographing Lindsay Lohan's crotch (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting EPA proposes tax on farting cows (56)
(The Local (Germany)) Cool Bavaria: land of great beer and Krampus the Christmas demon who looks like Hellboy and scares bad children. Now THIS is how to celebrate Christmas. *throws horns up* (176)
(BBC) Amusing Royal Agricultural College pays £6,000 compensation after students "rape" village, marking a change from livestock (45)
(Newsday) Interesting ABC to air reality show about the Department of Homeland Security. It will be an hour of paperwork, union-mandated breaks, and puzzled looks while illegals cross the border (61)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad This article started out as the annual "underprivileged kid writes to Santa, gets his/her wish" story, but turns into a "the economy blows so Christmas is going to suck this year" story (58)
(Some New Mexican) Dumbass Some Fark headlines write themselves: "Man accused of break-in, poking estranged wife's pies" (42)
(Yahoo) Asinine Get off my lawn or I'll let you have it with my new prescription handgun (85)
(The Morning Call) Interesting Carcasses hanging from the ceiling, freezers full of meat, and piles of empty beer cartons. Just another day at this frat house (48)
(LA Times) Sad Fire damages famous Hollywood strip club. Engines still responding from as far away as Maine  T-Shirt (32)
(Herald Tribune) Cool "All of us were anxious to see Jesus. Big Butter Jesus, to be exact." Oleo Lord (50)
(USA Today) Scary That de-icing chemical that airports use to prevent heavy ice from accumulating on airplane wings and causing crashes? Yeah, there's probably not enough of that in the country to get through winter. Happy flying (68)
(ABC News) Cool Caroline Kennedy may take Hillary's Senate seat, pantsuits (174)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Argue with your cousin? check. While drinking? check. Attack him with a machete? check. Florida tag? check (18)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup American man jailed after violating little-known British driving law, some nonsense about being on the left side of the road or something (77)
(Some Guy) Spiffy St. Louis Alderman for a district with nine homicides in the past ten months formally advises his constituents to start packing heat (235)
(AZCentral) Cool Trashcan man can keep sliced up money he found. Heard muttering, "My life for glue" (119)
(USA Today) Stupid Mumbai attacks are giving US cities even more of an excuse to burn through money in an attempt to look like they're doing something to be "secure" (28)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Asinine Councilman trying to change law so Orioles fans can shout "O" during national anthem. Yeah, who cares about the drug and murder problem? (115)
(BBC) Obvious The BBC is shocked, SHOCKED to discover that pupils are using proxy sites to bypass school filters: "if children are accessing harmful sites at school, then what are they doing at home in the privacy of their own bedrooms?" (179)
(Some Guy) Cool Today is not the Day of the Ninja. Nope. Not a ninja. Not me. Not today (80)
(The Local (Germany)) Sad German man faps himself to death (220)
(AP) Stupid Illinois kid charged with playing 'pin the tail on your schoolmates' (32)
(CBS Dallas/Ft. Worth) Asinine Texas bible-thumpers' heads asplode over high school musical production of "Rent" (342)
(Some Puggle) Photoshop Photoshop this Merry Christmas family (62)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Air rage soars after airlines ban smoking but allow binge drinking. Who could have seen this coming? (47)
(Telegraph) Amusing New atlas reveals how places got their names. Subby wants to visit Breast Hill Castle in the Great Land of the Tattooed (48)
(Independent) Spiffy 75th Anniversary of the only US Amendment to be overturned by another. I'll drink to that (157)
(Komo) Interesting Movie theater permits developmentally disabled children to talk back to the screen. They need one for adults, too (125)
(Dallas News) Obvious Man shot dead in Grapevine, at least that's what I heard (39)
(ABC News) Spiffy Justice Department assembles a crack team to prosecute Blackwater guards (75)
(Stuff) Amusing Today's Fark-ready billboard comes all the way from New Zealand (64)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Stripper throws shoe at another woman in shoe store for calling her the "c-word." Difficulty: Guess which c-word she used. (Voting enabled) (329)
(The Sun) Cool The world's first zero star hotel has beds for just £6 in converted nuclear bunker (52)
(Newsweek) Obvious "With disposable income scarce this year, giving practical gifts is in vogue. And what could be more useful than a tooth cleaning, or, say, a gynecologist's exam?" (84)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Guy stops car in middle of traffic to chase armadillo. Then things get ugly (42)

Thu December 04, 2008
(Independent) Interesting The number one rule of transvestite midget fight club is you don't talk about transvestite midget fight club (pic) (70)
(Daily Mail) Obvious "Is short hair a signal that a woman is not interested in sex?" (305)
(Telegraph) Interesting Lost Cloud City found in the Andes. Historians think it was built by Ugnaught slave laborers (94)
(Daily Mail) Silly Teen banned from wearing a Christian chastity ring at school. "If people can wear head scarves, why can't I wear a ring?" (346)
(Thing One) Photoshop Photoshop these, um... these, er... these, ah... things (75)
(Daily Mail) Sad Even though it's good for a laugh in Three Stooges shorts, take it from this lady - turns out getting trapped in a foldaway bed can end badly (55)
(CNN) Dumbass Cruise ship hits iceberg, no this isn't a repeat from 1912 (83)
(9 News) Scary If you rode a bus from El Paso, TX to Greeley, CO on August 9, health officials would like a word with you. Remember that coughing, feverish, sweaty guy next to you? Yeah, he had TB (76)
(Mirror.co.uk) Interesting Insurance companies warn that 'manbags' are targets for muggers and guys should give them up and get a yambag instead (87)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Amusing For the second day in a row, a Cincinnati judge has sent someone to jail for farking cussing in court. Fark (74)
(CNN) Obvious Conservative members of Episcopal Church try to beat off pro-gay faction, end up with schism on their hands  T-Shirt (112)
(Washington Post) Unlikely Global shippers are calling for a blockade of the entire 2,400-mile-long Somali coastline. Good luck with that (182)
(Radio Australia) Strange If you live down under, you may want to start taking the bus (41)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Stupid Not News: Teacher fired because of his disciplinary style. News: He made students who were late to class do push-ups. Fark: The school that fired him - Derby Moor Community Sports College (65)
(Daily Express) Asinine Nanny state school moves childrens' Christmas festival to January because it 'clashes with Eid' (109)
(Abc.net.au) Scary Some Australians are taking their karaoke critiques a little too seriously. And by seriously we mean hurling molotov cocktails and improvised firebombs at poor performers (42)
(Some Texter) Unlikely Man arranges to meet 15-year-old girl for sex :-( But the "girl" was a police officer. :-O Man claims he was entrapped by officer's use of emoticons in email. :- | Man now has to guard his (_|_)  T-Shirt (202)
(NJ.com) Spiffy Today's female teacher accused of sex with student story brought to you by Howell, NJ. (with I'll be in my bunk pic) (298)
(Some Confused Guy) Strange Artist who brought you last year's gingerbread Nazis unveils this year's legless Santa in a wheelchair being pushed down stairs by a crazed Christmas tree. Happy Holidays!(pic) (73)
(WFAA.com) Obvious Dallas' Preston Hollow mansionized house selectificated as Bush post-Presidential residentitude. As if living in Dallas didn't suck enough (199)
(People Magazine) Stupid Public invited to watch 18th clown fall out of car (337)
(Buffalo News) Strange Man discovers how to make a profit in this poor housing market by selling homes that don't belong to him (32)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Boris Gryzlov, a top Kremlin official, says Santa Claus is an imposter and an illegal alien. He urges Santa to get out of the business at once (49)
(Some Future of Detroit) Followup That plug-in hybrid Chevy Volt the GM CEO drove to Capitol Hill? Spent most of the trip from Detroit on a flatbed (381)
(BBC) Scary Six gunmen shot by security guards at Delhi airport. TSA agents glower with envy, lube up next little old lady for generous cavity search (73)
(9 News) Interesting Behind on your power bills but still planning on blinding neighbors with power-sucking Christmas lights? Thurmont, MD officials will be letting everyone know how much of a deadbeat you are (72)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Strange He used hot Vaaaaaaaaaaaseline (75)
(ABC News) Spiffy LBJ Library releases last of his recordings, includes an original a cappella and an amazing cover of "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" (46)
(kvue.com) Dumbass Bad idea: smoking pot with your toddler. Worse idea: giving pot to your toddler. Horrible idea: giving pot to your toddler and filming yourself doing it (140)
(Stupid Videos) Video Full Metal Jacket Rudolph (uncensored version, nsfw language) (51)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Pro tip: You may want to avoid hiring this guy's tattoo artist (348)
(My Fox Tampa Bay) Florida If you're going to invite a homeless ex-con to stay with you, you have to expect him to be rude. Especially when you drink your breakfast. But hey, go ahead and shoot him anyway, so we can enjoy your fabulous mug shot (58)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Obama bought the election, says guy that bought two elections (432)
(National Post) Dumbass Stephane Dion, who wants to run a country, can't even deliver his prerecorded speeches on time (141)
(St. Petersburg Times) Scary Spam emails up the ante: "I was paid to eliminate you and I have to do it within 10 days. ... I might just spare your life, $8,000 is all you need to spend" (135)
(WCBS 880) Misc If you're a wild pig in New Jersey, look out (55)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this slide assistant (65)
(My Fox DC) Asinine In Maryland, when the bridges become unstable and unfit to drive over, you better hope you don't live on the other side (81)
(Houston Chronicle) Scary What's the latest air travel torture? That's right, it's karaoke. Everybody wing chung tonight (78)
(London Times) Unlikely Cambridge University students revealed to be a bunch of hard-drinking tail chasers. This is, apparently, a bad thing (21)
(PhysOrg.com) Obvious Female art students more sexually active than male science nerds: study (188)
(Chicago Tribune) Weird Salvation Army leader to lose his job if he goes through with marriage to non-Salvation Army employee. One of us--ONE OF US (161)
(AP) Obvious Shocking results of new poll show that Prop. 8 supporters tended to be less educated, more religious (570)
(St. Petersburg Times) Sad 12-year-old golf prodigy passes away after his lengthy battle with cancer, receives Golf Channel eulogy (60)
(Washington Post) Interesting Kansas chosen as the site for a new biodefense facility despite repeated claims that prayer, intelligent design and protesting funerals are not proven to produce anthrax (120)
(Some Guy) Scary Hi everybody, welcome to appendectomy 101...okay now we're just going to make a little incision in the...zZzzZz...eh? Oh, right a little...zZzzZz...And that's how you perform an arm amputation (40)
(The Consumerist) Scary Turns out Chuck E. Cheese is as full of nasty bacteria and viruses as you'd expect a place that caters to masses of screaming snot machines to be (123)
(LA Times) Scary Man faces criminal charges for posting negative stuff about his ex on Craigslist in Colorado. The First Amendment cries a little more each day (171)
(Some Guy) Cool Federal judge orders that if you have ever paid a red light camera ticket in Texas, you will be getting your money back. Or at least a picture of it (101)
(CBC) News Canada's Governor General suspends Parliament in anticipation of post-Christmas sales of sweatervest (843)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Free Plaxico Burress. NYC's gun laws are ridiculous and unconstitutional (633)
(London Times) Hero He had a golden nose, a pet dwarf, and made sure his moose was always drunk. Tycho Brahe: Living every Farker's dream lifestyle since 1546 (111)
(News.com.au) Dumbass News: Father sues school district for teaching religion in school. Fark: Teaching consisted of a scene from "Evan Almighty" to help teach kids animal noises (388)
(CBS 46) Dumbass Burglar arrested after police somehow found the criminal mastermind inside his victim's Rubbermaid container (38)
(Reuters) Cool Europe's Human Rights Court to Nanny State: Stop being a douchenozzle (71)
(ABC Action News) Florida If you are going to call in sick to work, it's probably not a good idea to rob the place later in the day. Just sayin' (34)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup Old News: Police arrest and charge Balfour in Hudson murders. News: Cannot prove connection to murder weapon with forensics. Fark: Only actual evidence is testimony of his junkie ex-girlfriend claiming he told her he did it (48)
(WFTV) Florida Female karate instructor charged with helping student earn luckiest boy in the world award (184)
(Some Guy) Hero Now we know where the missing bees have been hiding: Bees save house from fire (43)
(Some Guy) Interesting Boston Red Sox fan convicted of battery for beating up a fan in Angel stadium who bopped him on the head with a balloon 'thunderstick' while chanting "Boston sucks." Faces three years of PMITA inflatable thundersticks (142)
(LA Times) Stupid 1) Arrest terrorist, 2) give terrorist light sentence in exchange for cooperation, 3) spend years interrogating and isolating terrorist to the point where he can no longer cooperate, 4) increase sentence because he is no longer cooperative (70)
(Lohud.com) Interesting Burger joint opens on site of legendary adult bookstore. Don't even ask about the special sauce (37)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Surprisingly, "actresses tricked into auditioning for a porn film" is not actually the plot of a porn film (84)
(Reuters) Scary Emperor Harper to disband the Senate until the crisis has passed (573)
(Some Trucker) NewsFlash Free bacon on I-94 in Maple Grove heading towards Minneapolis (79)
(USA Today) Amusing A guide to determining if you've got the grit, the gumption, the stones to weather an economic downturn. Although, if you're reading it on USA Today, the answer's probably pre-determined (34)
(Telegraph) Strange "So do you fancy a drink?" "I don't know... let me just check your blood type" (59)
(Boston Globe) Asinine "Please officer, my wife is in labor." "That's no excuse to use the breakdown lane in bumper to bumper traffic. But I will mail you this $100 ticket" (382)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Ice cream truck driver shot. Cops still unwrapping every clue (59)
(Some Guy) Strange Illinois egg donor agencies offer country's first guarantee. Kind of a double-your-chromosomes-back sort of deal (35)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Randy redhead gets three female companions pregnant at the same time, w/smugshot (103)
(Some Guy) Interesting Drunk driving woman pulls over and punches a man checking his tire pressure on the side of the road because she thought he was a drug dealer (w/ "would you hit it?" mugshot) (119)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this officer of the peace and quiet (50)
(TC Palm) Florida Man accused of assaulting his girlfriend multiple times with a McDonald's cheeseburger. I hope he fries (88)
(AlterNet) Interesting How the 2008 election saw the prying open of many cold, dead hands (946)
(The Sun) Amusing Some are not amused about an al-Qaeda terrorist Lego-man complete with a rocket launcher, assault rifle and grenades (85)
(Telegraph) Amusing On the run from your debts? You can still enlist in the French Foreign Legion (44)
(Daily Mail) Strange Super ants to invade UK gardens. EVERYBODY PICNIC (48)
(Abc.net.au) Scary Pro tip: Going on television and admitting to killing 110 children you believed were full of evil spirits will have a NEGATIVE effect on your witchdoctor business (57)
(London Times) Obvious Indian Police to use "truth serum" on Mumbai Terrorist - US offers advice on Waterboard Serum, Naked Pyramid Serum, and "Oh, your big snappy dog just ate my balls" Serum (130)
(Some site) Stupid Tens of thousands of inmates may soon be released from California prisons due to...... *spins the wheel*...... inadequate medical care (60)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 187: "Pinhole Camera" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme (75)

Wed December 03, 2008
(Daily Mail) Silly Annoying college kids protest a beauty contest. "One of the things was that the contestants had to have their waists and breasts measured. I come from quite a rural area and that's what they do to animals" (120)
(El Paso Times) Weird If you've lost your two camels, the Juarez City Policia would like to talk to you (40)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop these birds of a feather (50)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Cops always laugh at stupid teens who take pics of themselves with guns and drugs. Farkers always laugh at stupid cops who take pictures of themselves with topless teens. Not safe for work slideshow (129)
(Reuters) Scary Authorities enter foreclosed home to find a man, his mother's skeleton, 26 cats, 3 opossums, and a raccoon. The Aristocrats (62)
(News.com.au) Scary This is why you always get the new kid to clear the paper jam in the printer (59)
(CNN) Obvious Rising costs could eventually put college "out of reach for most Americans" unless they win caddy scholarship (281)
(ABC News) Interesting Bizarre medical conditions like 'Eyes Clamped Shut' continue to baffle doctors. Still no cure for 'Mouth Stuck Open' girl (95)
(9 News) Sappy And now the award for 'Attempt at inspiring headline gone most face-palmingly wrong' (80)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Burger King goes to poorest parts of the world and conduct taste tests to "watch burger virgins take the first bite." Turns out, most impoverished villagers recoiled in disgust and horror (510)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Man reunited with class ring after 21 years of safe keeping by a largemouth bass. Man immediately stuffs ring into dresser drawer, never to look at it again (48)
(Miami Herald) Followup Phillip Morris is still arguing that just because you smoke every day and can't quit doesn't mean you're addicted to tobacco (87)
(BBC) Dumbass US giving Mexico nearly $200 million in anti-drug funds. Thank goodness there's no rampant corruption there to worry about or that might be a bad idea (58)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Stupid A credit union employee is handed coins covered in mysterious white powder. Does he: a) run away screaming; b) calmly back away and call authorities; c) lick the powder off? (50)
(KTAR) Unlikely Today's reason for why your child is going to die this Holiday season..."Accidental Poisoning". Be sure to tune in tomorrow for the "Electrocution" article (14)
(WBBM) Unlikely Another sign of the bad economy: Divorced couples living together. On the plus side, this sounds like the plot of a bad 70's sitcom with Larry Hagman and Dick Gautier (71)
(Quad City Times) Fail The wreath...The wreath...The wreath is on fire (51)
(WOODTV) Dumbass School district replaces "F" grades with "H". Must stand for "heckuva job, student" (117)
(Las Vegas Now) Amusing Not News: DOT closes Interstate and redirects traffic during construction. Nevada Fark News: Traffic will be redirected into a casino parking lot (27)
(Gizmodo) Obvious Santa Claus' Gmail Account Exposed, Shows Subscription to Elfbang.com, George W. Bush Wishlist, Correspondence With Satan (34)
(Defamer) Interesting "Che" biopic trailer is up, starring Benicio Del Toro. A new generation is set to learn that he was Castro's right hand man and a filthy commie war criminal. No word if the last scene is him begging like a dog for his life (253)
(Contact Music) Interesting Glasgow music fest kicks off this week with Human League, Heaven 17 and ABC. Rick Astley, Erasure, Talk Talk, BlancMange, The Vapors and Glass Tiger are feeling terribly left out and wish they could perform their one good song too (71)
(Reuters) Fail Lousiana wins title of Unhealthiest State, may change name to Lardassiana (168)
(Cleveland) Stupid Cleveland television meterologist thinks global warming is a fraud. That settles it, then (356)
(MSNBC) Stupid Family of the man crushed to death in a stampede at Wal-Mart decide nothing can help their grief more than suing anyone and everyone they can (272)
(Globe and Mail) Hero In a stunning reversal, UAW president says they may agree to having some of their members not be paid for doing absolutely nothing (385)
(Bradenton Herald) Dumbass If you are trying to get out of a DUI manslaughter arrest, giggling during your field sobriety test is not the best strategy (42)
(Fire Dog Lake) Dumbass George Bush blames the economic turmoil on decisions that were made "a decade or so before I arrived." That would be 1990, in the middle of the other failed Bush presidency (452)
(TBO) Florida Titusville man gets four years for sexually assaulting dog. He thanks the judge, but says he really only needs 20 minutes, tops (50)
(Telegraph) Strange More effective weapon: samurai sword or a bottle of sherry? What if these are the worst samurais ever and the guy wielding the sherry is a 68-year-old hardcore postal worker? (41)
(Breitbart.tv) Video Jack Black is Jesus Christ. Was there ever any doubt? (82)
(News.com.au) Interesting Newborn baby found abandoned in the manger of a church Nativity scene. Jesus Christ (55)
(Denver Channel) Weird If you're missing a thong or Boulder High School cheerleaders outfit, police want to talk to you about the guy they arrested named Cox (47)
(News Net 5, GO) Strange Ohio police find skull, unlock achievement (32)
(Examiner) Asinine "Chrysler exec: failure could spark depression." In other news, Philip Morris warns quitting smoking now greatly reduces your chance of looking cool (205)
(ABC News) Followup Remember the pizza delivery man-turned-robber with bomb locked to his neck? One convicted, while female mastermind awaits sanity decision (67)
(The Morning Call) Amusing Pizzeria trying, to make some doe, butchers deer. Health dept. says "What the buck?" (52)
(My Fox DC) Interesting DC wants Obama to use Taxation Without Representation license plates, Keep Off My Ass bumper sticker, on presidential limo (104)
(UPI) Dumbass Six people arrested for smuggling ivory, now facing up to 99.44 years in prison (89)
(Orato) Fail A top 10 list of Fark submissions that weren't greenlit (405)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Harvard's endowment loses $8 Billion, if only there was some sort of Business School they could go to (55)
(Hartford Courant) Cool Have a hankering to see the Rudolph or Frosty TV special you loved from the past while curled up on the couch with a hot cup of Bosco? Here's the schedule for December (133)
(Some Guy) Weird Mobile, AL is already making plans to ring in the new year by eating the worlds largest Moon Pie (58)
(Time) Dumbass Wacky Middle-Easterners think Israel was responsible for 9/11, Saudi Arabia will bail out the U.S. economy in exchange for a U.S invasion of Iran, and - get this - Obama is a secret Muslim (211)
(ABC News) Followup GM and Chrysler warn: 'There's no plan-b.' Well, perhaps they should have used a condom (297)
(Washington Post) Interesting Even Bible thumpers think we should get rid of "Under God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. "Under God" was response to godless Communists. What of "godly" terrorists? (372)
(Daily News-Record) Dumbass Chick gets laid for the first time at age 34 and the whole town is in an uproar because it was in the back of a car (242)
(Metro) Followup Knut, the uglyass white polar bear cub who garnered international attention, is now a grubby brown colour and no longer draws the crowds. Zoo hopes to move him since he is too large to flush down the toilet (78)
(ABC News) Interesting 1st person to make FBI's Ten Most Wanted list twice dies of old age (34)
(Toronto Star) Followup Stephen Harper to address the nation tonight. Drinking game words include: "unpatriotic", "power grab", "anti-democratic", "legitimate", "sweatervest" (882)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Strange US Customs Service to use Predator drones to patrol border between US and Canada in effort to reduce smuggling of poutine, backbacon, Celine Dion-wannabes (88)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these men with a lot on the line (62)
(CNN) Hero Daring nanny saves 2-year-old from Mumbai tragedy. Something in subby's eye prevents him from seeing the Fran Drescher joke (89)
(Telegraph) Spiffy World's oldest living animal discovered after he is pictured in 1900 photograph wearing an onion on his belt (80)
(News.com.au) Sad Critter you neither heard of nor even seen a picture of is the first mammal extinction from global warming (196)
(WBBM) Obvious Hiring 700,000 2010 Census takers who will earn $13 to $17 an hour. In a preview of government jobs plan, interview room fills to capacity, dozens are turned away as room fills even before scheduled start time (86)
(Examiner) Amusing Facebook disables Lindsay Lohan's account. Thankfully, her Fark account is still secure (183)
(MSNBC) Interesting Russia's "Up Yours, America" tour continues as Russian warship crosses Panama Canal for first time since WWII (119)
(Daily Gazette (Schenectady)) Interesting Police: Mussmacher found as methmaker because of markmaker (17)
(Daily Express) Unlikely Man who drove through a drive-thru McDonalds restaurant at 60mph seriously expects to get his driving licence back (35)
(UPI) Obvious It's time for this year's "NORAD gearing up to track Santa" article (54)
(Daily Express) Amusing Man spends $50,000 making his house look like Las Vegas on acid (47)
(Newsday) Amusing NY cops reveal their newest 'bait' car to catch auto thieves: 'The Master' (74)
(Yahoo) Stupid Dear Abby: My husband took my 13 year old son to a restaurant with scantily clad waitresses. My vagina is sandy over it. What should I do? (658)
(Press-Enterprise) Stupid Did the current administration purposely sabotage the economy so that military personnel would re-enlist? Hint: question mark in headline = no (71)
(Fox News) Interesting Five flu vaccination myths. Government using it to track people is for some odd reason missing from the list (198)
(CBS Miami) Cool The Prince of F'n Darkness turns 60 today.....SHAAAAAROOOONNNNN (152)
(Washington Post) Obvious This just in: Fat free food tastes like crap and may have added salt to help hide it. Film at eleven (97)
(Chicago Tribune) Amusing Planned Parenthood offering gift certificates, the perfect X-mas gift for your whore daughter, girlfriend or wife (354)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass 'Plate Face' uses paper plate for a robbery disguise. Clerk can't understand him through the plate, calls cops (32)
(Toronto Star) Spiffy Toronto cinemas to start serving alcohol, poutine license still pending (63)
(SFGate) Spiffy The coolest pics of dudes surfing giant waves at Maverick's you'll see today (98)
(Reuters) Interesting Barack Obama makes final cabinet appointment; now must face daunting task of coming up with embarrassing nicknames for each member. Early favorites are Bill "Big Stinky" Richardson and Hillary "She Scares Me" Clinton (89)
(BBC) Obvious Sec. of State Condoleeza Rice warns that Pakistan and India must act quickly to bring Mumbai attackers to justice, just like the US did with Osama bin Laden (43)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Florida residents whining over the temperature dropping to bone-chilling 64 degrees (202)
(Yahoo) Hero 25 years after stealing a moped, thief pays victim for loss; victim upset over this because now everyone knows he owned a moped (52)
(USA Today) Obvious The FDIC has discovered that banks may be unfairly using overdraft fees to pad their profits and take advantage of poorer customers (298)
(Some Guy) Asinine Over 100 civilized nations gather to sign treaty banning the use of cluster bombs - guess who's not signing (695)
(Some Guy) Amusing Accused drunk driver acquitted even though he showed up drunk at his trial (16)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Tow truck driver arrested for drunk driving after crashing into stopped, flashing police vehicle. Bonus: Second tow truck driver showed up on scene drunk, also arrested (28)
(USA Today) Dumbass OJ Simpson's long, haunted search for his wife's killers may come to an end this Friday (109)
(London Times) Amusing If an army marches on its stomach, it looks like the Germans might be especially well equipped for marching (43)
(Fox News) Interesting New York Daily News steals Empire State Building. David Copperfield unimpressed (28)
(WHJJ) Strange Mutant lobster found in Rhode Island (131)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Chat show lie-detector boss accuses chat show lie detector boss of lies. How can this be resolved? (30)
(NewsMax) Spiffy FBI takes the war on drugs to fifteen corrupt cops who traded the thin blue line for lots of little white ones  T-Shirt (72)
(Daily News Miner) Obvious Austrailian goes to Alaska to cross the Brooks Range on an ill prepared journey. Darwin denied his prize. "We thought he was one hard-core extremist or he didn't have a clue, It turned out he didn't have a clue" (76)
(WorldNetDaily) Dumbass Worldnut Daily cries out for the US to declare total war against the entire Muslim world, like they do every week or so (555)
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Swedish woman loses right to disability payments following a car accident -- after doctor rules she'd be fit to work again if she simply had surgery to make her boobs smaller (117)
(Sky.com) Cool Queen Elizabeth addresses Parliament, wants the funk, gotta have some funk (64)
(Some Guy) Florida Idiot pilot flies plane into boat's mast: "I absolutely blame the sailboat because we have right of way" (216)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop me banana (41)
(Washington Post) Hero Interrogator uses the U.S. Army Field Manual. Result: "I thought you would torture me, and when you didn't, I decided that everything I was told about Americans was wrong. That's why I decided to cooperate." (419)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Man arrested for assaulting girlfriend with a sweet potato pie, keeps yammering about the food (40)
(London Times) Ironic Rabbi killed in his home by Mumbai terrorists was reading "How to protect yourself when terrorists come to your house." It's like good adviyiiiiiiiiiiiiice that you just didn't take (96)
(MSNBC) Unlikely President of Brazil calls on God to stop the rain. God replies that He is busy fighting terrorism in Kentucky and can't come to the phone right now (25)
(Nola.com) Amusing Oldest LOLcat ever found iz from teh 1905 (86)
(WorldNetDaily) Unlikely "Jesus was gay. In Biblical times homosexual relationships were so commonplace that no one gave it a second thought. It was heterosexuality that was considered sinful." (443)
(Independent) Weird When, what to my wondering eyes should appear / But a massive sandwich stuffed with eight tiny reindeer (32)
(Daily Mail) Scary Big brother police to get power to demand ID at will. For your own good, of course (129)
(IndyStar) Sad Indiana man dies of cancer while driving. Car crashes into a tree just to make sure he's really dead (91)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Church leaders want to see Muslim prayer rooms opened in all Catholic schools (134)

Tue December 02, 2008
(NewsOK) Hero If you're going to steal a vehicle, make sure the owner isn't a ninja (98)
(AZCentral) Ironic School's special education director busted for parking in a parking space reserved for the handicapped (54)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop this pipe panel (39)
(ABC News) Interesting Rastafarian can sue over Jiffy Lube hair policy. If he wins, Steinbrenner to be in trouble (86)
(The Sun) Amusing Christmas cards in Britain now wish people a 'Great Depression' (23)
(Seacoastonline.com) Dumbass Duck, duck, nukes (64)
(The Times of India) Sad The Mumbai police force, responsible for a city of about 14 million people, had 577 guns, that they had not fired for the last 10 years, even to practice. Hindusight is 20/20, I guess (158)
(Telegraph) Scary Why the long face? (206)
(This one time at band camp) Asinine So you think you are tough enough to play the French Horn eh? Think again (116)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Dumbass Driver leaves gas station with nozzle still attached. Why yes, it was a woman, and yes, there are fail pics (163)
(AP) Scary Attention K-Mart Shoppers, we have a blue light special on the ambulance coming to help this guy who just got shot in our store (32)
(3 News New Zealand) Ironic 'Students Against Drink Driving' use excess funds to throw out-of-control drunken party (95)
(AP) Obvious Russian warships hold exercises with Hugo Chavez's entire navy--all three ships (240)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Interesting Raleigh N&O becomes latest paper to eliminate anonymous web postings from users filled with "racism and xenophobia, fueled by raw-emotion topics like politics and sports", vows to introduce tabs for those fanatics (56)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Economic downturn has English considering trading their currency for one made by people who think stinky cheese is a good investment (39)
(Some Guy) Obvious German troops to be posted to France. Again. France surrenders. Again (80)
(Washington Post) Spiffy D.C. bars may be open 24/7 for the inauguration. That's change we can *hic* believe in (89)
(Bangor Daily News) Scary Bromance: a close, nonsexual male friendship where you build fine furniture for each other.... Sign me up (148)
(UPI) Weird Nothing says "Merry Christmas" like putting women's clothes on the dead tree in your front yard and naming it "Treesa" (41)
(Buffalo News) Fail If you claim you were hurt when you tripped in a store, make sure security cameras don't record you laying on the floor after adjusting a rug to make it look like you tripped (61)
(Some Guy) Florida "Deputies found a man sitting in his neighbor's living room chair naked. He appeared to be intoxicated" (25)
(Telegraph) Strange If you ever wanted to spend $1M on something, this probably isn't it (51)
(SLTrib) Strange Man takes off his clothes in front of several children to prove to his girlfriend he wouldn't use meth again. Then he ran naked into a house (50)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida First grader robs fellow student at knifepoint in the school bathroom. Just another Tuesday in South Florida (42)
(US Mint) PSA The U.S. Mint would like you know that they are not responsible for those crappy Barack Obama Presidential Coins, annoying TV ads (180)
(Bingo) Amusing The holiday news bingo card (64)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this android actor (79)
(Some Guy) Sad British shopping mall unveils what is universally acknowledged as "world's worst Christmas tree" (pic) (131)
(Newsweek) Stupid In this economic climate, the rich are suffering from "luxury shame". Submitter cordially offers to take some of that shame off their hands (124)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Police reports on those hot Minnesota nursing home resident abusers. Alleged (244)
(WINK-NEWS) Dumbass Dad gets caught having his nine-year old son drive him on a beer run, with "Was that wrong? Should I not have done that?" pic (66)
(Reuters) Obvious Kids who spend too much time on the internet are prone to health risks such as smoking, obesity, getting hit in the nuts, eating spoonfuls of cinnamon, getting tazed while shotgunning a beer, and being knocked cold by their own skateboard (45)
(MSNBC) Sad One in five young American have personality disorder. Americans... (plural) have personality disorder. Have A personality disorder. Young Americans, have a personality disorder. One in five (178)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Not only will Palin not go away, wardobegate won't either: Palin seen wearing campaign clothes she claimed to return (550)
(RedOrbit) Amusing Sperm donor fathers 46 children. Shawn Kemp unavailable for comment (79)
(Telegraph) Followup Mumbai attackers were hopped up on goofballs (181)
(kfbk) Cool The international space station now has 1 beer on tap (83)
(Yahoo) Asinine God bless those dogged journalists at the AP. They cut through the mundane clutter of a man's murder trial to get to the real story -- he once lived sort-of near the Clintons (25)
(Marketwatch) Amusing Chicago has 10 new homeless shelters brought to you by Stove Top Stuffing (34)
(Science Blogs) Asinine Cincinnati Zoo is partnering with the Creation Museum to sell tickets to both venues. They're marketing to families that love animals but hate critical thinking (314)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Terror returns to Baghdad: Iraqi women resume driving (36)
(WPXI) Amusing I'll see your $800 coin dropped in the Salvation Army kettle and raise you a $2000 18-karat white gold and half-carat diamond ring ring. What recession? (49)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Misc Ten questions to ask the Dalai Lama. Missing from list: "When I die, on my deathbed, will I receive total consciousness?" (114)
(Telegraph) Weird Welsh cuisine called into question once again after more than 160 people suffer food poisoning caused by contaminated sheep droppings (28)
(MSNBC) Sad Kirsten Dunst granted restraining order against stalker. OH, WHY DO YOU DENY OUR LOVE?  T-Shirt (148)
(WBBM) Spiffy City of Chicago on a selling binge, has already sold Midway Airport and the Chicago Skyway, now selling all the city's parking meters. What's next? Lake Michigan on ebay? (60)
(DC Examiner) Spiffy The best part of spending $621 million to upgrade the Capital Visitor's Center? Harry Reid won't have to smell the little people any more (94)
(Metro) Stupid The latest item to be banned by the Nanny State: Fire extinguishers (104)
(BBC) Asinine What do you do when your anti-crime device is condemned for only being annoying to young criminals? Answer: Make it annoying for everybody (50)
(Bloomberg) Scary Bernanke hints he might just say "fark it, we're going to 0%" and then put the printing presses into high gear (220)
(Charleston Gazette) Amusing Ski Conditions: 6" fresh powder, all trails groomed, all trails temporarily black diamond due to tiger (70)
(11 Alive) Scary "He just said God said she wasn't driving right, and she needed to be taken off the road" (105)
(BBC) Spiffy For all those wondering if your 15 day Thailand tourist visa might become a retirement visa here is an update (25)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Note: if you are busted stealing earrings, swallowing them won't mean that you get to keep them. With mugshot goodness (34)
(Denver Post) Spiffy Neighbors go humbug over woman's rooftop "Yes We Can" in lights, call it a political sign. She may change to "Get a life" (170)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Today's "expensive house trashed after birthday invitation posted on Facebook" story comes to you from lovely Brighton, Sussex (42)
(MSNBC) Dumbass GM CEO bringing proof of GM's ineptitude with him to DC: A Hybrid car with a $4K price premium, but barely 2 MPG increase (386)
(CNN) Stupid "It is possible today to hijack an aircraft using only five or six able-bodied passengers who are well-trained in Kung Fu fighting." Presumably because those cats are fast as lightning  T-Shirt (138)
(Cracked) Amusing 7 total bastards that were almost impossible to kill (133)
(The Local (Germany)) Strange Court rules prison inmates have right to silky smooth skin (14)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Sad Utah senator wants to outlaw "Happy Holidays" from retail marketing (418)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Jesus found on a Washburn guitar and it appears he's got the blues. Oh Yeah (61)
(NJ.com) Stupid Meeting your girlfriend's family for the first time at Thanksgiving is hard enough; this would be what we call a worst-case outcome (67)
(Yahoo) Followup Obama aide categorically denies $30,000 ring story, leading journalists to wonder how the British tabloids and Matt Drudge could have possibly led them astray. Again (158)
(Some Guy) PSA Check your credit card statements. It looks like someone got hacked (94)
(Dallas News) Interesting Tango Blast is: a) a new energy drink. b) a dance fad. c) a large dangerous Texas prison gang (47)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Woman on a job hunt applies her best assets by ironing her resume on a T-shirt (83)
(tmj4) Dumbass Today's teacher who forget the whole "ethics" thing is brought to you by Wauwatosa, Wisconsin. While hanging out with former students, his party favors include X-rated videos, marijuana, mushrooms and cocaine (60)
(NYPost) Amusing Nuggets of wisdom from a 9 year old pickup artist: "Girls win most of the arguements and have most of the power" (82)
(BBC) Stupid BBC is shocked that woman can't find job, regardless of the fact that she quit school at 15, has been on the dole her whole life, and isn't even looking for work (155)
(CBC) Strange Singing Christmas carols in Canada? That's a punchin', eh? (35)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Watching the game on ITV just isn't the same as seeing it live. For example, you can't grab a pitchside microphone and pass it around the crowd, chanting 'ITV are farking shiat' (35)
(The Morning Call) Obvious Hunter goes out on a limb, only to find that a tree's bark is worse than its bite. Refusing to branch out with news of his condition, hospital officials hope that everyone leaves him alone (65)
(Daily Mail) Hero Pub institutes "no parents" policy (95)
(WCBS 880) Followup A message in a bottle tossed into the ocean off of New Jersey has turned up in North Carolina - 39 years later (62)
(Some Guy) Obvious Obese women lack impulse control, want instant gravitation  T-Shirt (252)
(Dorset Echo) Amusing "Tensions reached a peak when furious parents confronted elves in a gingerbread house and Father Christmas was punched in his grotto" (47)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida O Tannenbaum, O Tannenbaum, with Christmas tree I spear thee (37)
(News.com.au) Followup Cricket bat killer sentenced to five years of getting stumped (29)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this wonder product (42)
(Metro) Obvious Iraqi officials have finished debating what to do with Saddam Hussein's cousin "Chemical Ali", and the solution is they're going to barium  T-Shirt (64)
(Mercury News) Dumbass High speed chase with the cops, stun guns, arrests, steals cop car, another highspeed chase by woman still in handcuffs, overturns car, more stun guns. Or as we call it, Monday (21)
(JSOnline) Cool It's the most wonderful time of the beer (103)
(CBC) Sad Canadian media magnate Ted Rogers dead at 75. In the event of zombie uprising, roaming charges may apply (58)
(BBC) Interesting US Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice performs piano recital for the Queen and her dog at Buckingham Palace. Your dog wants to roll over, Beethoven (71)
(AP) Scary Being that it's too cold for farmers markets, it seems the elderly have taken to plowing through Christmas parades. Tis the season (55)
(News.com.au) Interesting You are what your mother eats. So, if you turn out to be a bit of a dick, you know why (86)
(Daily Mail) Strange Today's Girl Guides are demanding a ban on the airbrushing of models in magazines and a crackdown on peer pressure to have sex too soon, w/ pic that needs airbrushing and shows the second part isn't likely to be an issue (323)
(CNN) Fail Luxury cruise ship took evasive maneuvers and outran pirates who were unable to reach speeds of 27 mph. Tag is for the worst pirates EVAR (227)
(Breitbart.com) Interesting Students from non-religious schools had far lower cheating rate compared to students attending religious schools (198)
(Fox News) Unlikely Terrorists will kill you by 2013. "'The United States should be less concerned that terrorists will become biologists and far more concerned that biologists will become terrorists" (90)
(UPI) Asinine Parents of "nameless" children face fines because it annoys the taxman (93)
(BBC) Ironic Siberian ice-cream shops thriving despite economic downturn, minus 25 degrees (22)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these pale petals (38)
(IndyStar) Silly Today's $800 gold South African Krugerrand coin dropped in a Salvation Army kettle comes to us from Evansville, Indiana (50)
(CBS Sacramento) Sick Missing teen stumbles into California fitness club in shackles, badly undernourished, says he was kidnapped and held captive for a year (138)
(Omaha World Herald) Stupid When a news story starts out with "A night of pot smoking went awry" you know it's going to be worth reading (121)
(WHDH Boston) Hero Normal hero tag: Firefighters put out thankgiving day kitchen fire. Super-hero tag : Crew comes back later in the day with replacement turkey dinner and pie for family (104)

Mon December 01, 2008
(Some Guy) Asinine Prairie dog stolen. Owner hopes it will pop up (65)
(Some Guy) Scary If you shoot a nine-point, 240-pound buck, you better make sure it's dead before you try dragging it back to base camp. "Soon Goodman started feeling dizzy and noticed his vest was soaked in blood." (128)
(CBS Sacramento) NewsFlash Bomb blast in India kills two, wounds 30 on train (252)
(Some Guy) Dumbass An Ohio State University academic adviser and a real estate agent held a $10-a-ticket raffle that offered an evening with a prostitute who is also a child sex-abuse caseworker. Then it gets weird (56)
(MSNBC) Interesting Asthma inhalers to go green, make food delicious, Mr. Bean hilarious (115)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this concept of a flying cetacean (69)
(New Scientist) Asinine New patent application for hurricane deflation machine involves flying jets in circles agianst the wind inside a hurricane...just like when Superman flew circles around the earth and turned back time (157)
(Some Bribester) Unlikely Man who admits to trying to bribe Mayor wants newspaper fined $65,000 for taking his photo in violation of a court ruling. Because, you know, this is a guy who obviously really cares about ethics and principle (12)
(Press-Enterprise) Obvious California declares a state of fiscal emergency. It's a good thing California residents elected a Governor with a background in economics and fiscal responsibility instead of that overpaid actor with the Humvee collection (205)
(Herald-Leader) Asinine The Society for Liberty and Prosperity would like you to know that they are working to bring about a better tomorrow. Starting with challenging the citizenship of President elect Obama, but first they need the freedom to borrow three fiddy (388)
(Palm Beach Post) Ironic $350,000 sculpture was clearly named "Survival of Serena" before it was crushed to death by airport baggage handlers (69)
(Albert Lea Tribune) Sick News: Six teen girls charged with sexual abuse. FARK: Of the elderly. UltraFARK: photo goodness suggests no jail time (558)
(ABC News) Interesting U.S. intelligence agencies: We totally knew the Mumbia attacks were going to happen, like a month in advance. We ALWAYS know when terrorists are going to strike. Except on 9/11, we had NO idea that one was coming. *wink.* (123)
(The Christians are coming) PSA Fark hasn't found religion. Religion has found Fark: "In particular, religious discussions on Fark present an opportunity for Christians to interact with atheists, agnostics, and secular humanists." (589)
(Washington Independent) Cool Obama is appointing progressives to his White House staff. Hasn't he heard that he's supposed to be appointing all conservatives and centrists to anger the liberal blogosphere? Why won't this guy get in line with the media narrative? (102)
(Some Guy) Sick Careful how your pronounce this prostitute's name. You might end up getting a service you didn't quite want (62)
(Some Jedi) Florida Fark ready headline: "Police send man with toy lightsaber to ER" (49)
(CNN) Obvious After cheerleading Obama all year, MSM now warns we barely know him (260)
(LA Times) Interesting Behold the man who finished a meat marathon in less than 5 hours. Not that there's anything wrong with that (69)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Walgreens sells Plan B pills, but not without making you feel like a cheap, filthy whore first (320)
(Some Guy) Sad Hmmmmmm, 2-month-old goddaughter or $50. 2-month-old goddaughter or $50. We're talking cash, right? Yeah? Wow, I dunno, that's a tough one (94)
(The Hill) Dumbass And the 2008 winner of the understatement of the year award: "Bush: Some voted for Obama 'because of me'. " (186)
(AP) Unlikely Indianapolis grade school mandates that parents sign homework every day, return teachers' calls within 24 hours, and volunteer at the school, or their kids get kicked out. This'll never work (117)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Have you heard the one about the deaf Dalmatian that learned sign language? Yeah, neither has the Dalmatian (46)
(AP) Sad More bad news from the bad economy; to save money, Illinois will not drug test jobseekers in the Dept of Children and Family Services. Bad news unless you're an unemployed doper who likes kids (63)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious UN's global warming summit will create 13,000 tons of carbon and greenhouse gas emissions (118)
(CNN) Followup U.S. let Saddam gas Kurds for farm deal. What other war crimes will the media decide to tell us about decades later? (139)
(NBC Action News) Scary Woman admits to killing husband for demanding sex. Submitter's pretty sure this is bullshiat, based on the pic in the article (130)
(io9) Wheaton What power should Wil Wheaton have on "Heroes"? Ability to wear awesome sweaters suspiciously absent (187)
(Dayton Daily News) Ironic The company that makes those annoying Motivation posters lays off 34 workers (230)
(CNN) Obvious You know things are bad when the DOW drops almost 700 points and there's no news-flash (103)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious "India demands action from Pakistan." Pakistan hints that maybe India should try to be a bit more romantic from time to time. A shower couldn't hurt either (23)
(KMOV St. Louis) Spiffy Missouri will soon not have any handicapped people, which will allow elimination of all handicapped parking spots (132)
(Homestar Runner) Cool Strong Bad pays homage to the original Sam & Max game. Bonus: It's an actual game (58)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Man gets angry with a woman driver. When both cars finally come to a stop, he approaches her with a snake and says, "This a death adder and you're dead" (49)
(Daily Mail) Sappy They can keep my bukket - I has a sakksophone (45)
(Yahoo) Obvious Spears, wrestling, Obama lead Yahoo's top 10 searches, Fox Reality producers' wish list  T-Shirt (42)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Belgian TV bosses slammed for advert featuring presenter as a semi-naked Hitler. Picture if you will...a sexy Hitler with a six-pack, or just click the link to see (35)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Attention, doctors: if you insist on injecting yourself and a female patient with ice, pethidine and morphine during sex sessions at your suburban surgery try not to overdose her, she'll resent that (42)
(The Consumerist) Scary Ring ring ring ring ring ring ring ring Banana Scorpion  T-Shirt (73)
(KSDK) Unlikely John Lennon had that karma thing right -- two brothers steal a car, fire shots at cops, and flee on highway against traffic, only to collide head-on with another car...that was also stolen (35)
(CNN) Obvious Girls post pretty photos on Web sites in hopes that guys send them gifts, Ric Romero is on the scene with more (1591)
(Yahoo) Scary India warns Pakistan that it must take strong action against its terrrorists....or else India will invade Kenya looking for yellow cake (50)
(Guardian.com) Amusing Most Fark-ready headline of the day comes from the UK: "Balls orders sacking" (38)
(CBC) Amusing Emus on the loose in Ontario. Authorities plan to capture them using bad poetry as bait (59)
(Great Falls Tribune) Weird Judge upholds law prohibiting parolees from owning bows, instructs Sheriff of Nottingham to enforce ruling (20)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Attention, doctors: If you insist on offering your female patients free mammograms, try not to tweak the nipples. It looks a bit suspicious (84)
(Some Guy) Dumbass So it turns out that using untrained, unprotected officers, as your meth clean-up crew might not be a good idea. Who knew? (22)
(FARK) Amusing Possibly the most entertaining Headline of the Week roundup we've had so far. Also, Drew's It's Not Fark It's News update (42)
(News.com.au) Followup Indian authorities had warnings of Mumbai terrorist operations nine days prior to attacks but "it got lost in the computer system". If only there was a country that offered tech support (95)
(ICNetwork) Fail BBC apologizes after TV star commits indecent exposure live on the radio. Wait, what? (48)
(Daily Mail) Strange Study reveals left-handed children do worse in national tests than their right-handed peers. Researchers are puzzled by the results, but suspect a sinister plot (133)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious Now that Thanksgiving is over, media dusts off the old "the office holiday party should not look like 'Girls Gone Wild'" article (79)
(Metro) Strange Toe nibbling wakes wife from 13-year coma, creeps her out (76)
(UPI) Asinine Having solved all other problems, the Big Apple demands that you get a Big Permit if you plan to decorate an outdoor Christmas tree, Hanukkah bush, or Kwanzaa shrub (37)
(AZCentral) Strange Strange things may be happening at an Cheesecake Factory in Arizona. "A cook would stand in the middle and rub his genitals into my genitals." (209)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this stampede (36)
(MSNBC) Scary Pentagon to deploy 20,000 uniformed military...inside the United States. No word on billetting or if the uniforms will be bright red coats (479)
(Reuters) Interesting Mayor of Birmingham, AL arrested on corruption charges as city prepares to declare bankruptcy (95)
(AP) Misc Mass suicide in Indiana has police baffled, folks wondering if John Cougar Mellencamp is releasing a new album (95)
(Some Guy) Silly This year's lame ass article/advertisement on the items in 'The 12 Days of Christmas' says they would cost $86,609, up 10.9% from last year (30)
(Fox News) News President-elect Obama continues with plan to destroy America, names Hillary Clinton to Secretary of State position (616)
(Google) Scary UN conference assures that failure to address climate change will lead to "war, hunger, poverty and sickness." Which at least will only require re-training one of the four horsemen (262)
(Daily Mail) Cool Jesus Christ, it's a lion. Get in the snowmobile (93)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Palm Beach County's GOP is a bit miffed that a home-schooled 19-year-old upstart was elected to join their Republican Executive Committee. Of course, the fact that he's a white supremacist might also be a factor (161)
(Yahoo) Amusing Man who slept with gun under pillow has licence revoked for being irresponsible, despite insisting it would not have gone off in wife's face or hair (54)
(Some Guy) Weird "An Irish judge has thrown out two separate drink-driving cases because of the danger the defendants inhaled alcohol from their own urine while in custody" (45)
(News.com.au) Fail Note to Australian Air Force: If you're going to build a fence to protect your airfield from intruding wallabies, make sure all the wallabies are actually outside the fence when you build it (49)
(Toronto Star) Dumbass Stephen Harper may have regrets about thet circular firing squad he put together last week... and about to add "Former" to his "Prime Minister" title... not so "honourable" though (531)
(The Onion) Satire American Airlines now charging fees to non-passengers. Satire tag has to beat back Obvious tag with its carry-on luggage (48)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Coolest photos of a gathering storm over Greenland you'll see ... well, pretty much ever, actually (87)
(Google) Interesting Mumbai cemetery refuses to bury terrorist gunmen, virtually assuring their return as super terrorist zombies (69)
(wmtw.com) Dumbass Man outruns police until he crosses the county line then pulls over, confident that all the old movies were true (58)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass Woo-woo guru Deepak Chopra discovers who is responsible for the terror attacks in India. Hint: The culprit begins with an "A" and rhymes with "Bamerica" (236)
(Canoe) Strange Mugger puts away his knife to meet his victim man-to-man in a squeegee duel (22)
(London Times) Unlikely There's no way I'd wear this space-age man corset...except it makes me look kind of hot (85)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Two men dress up as security guards to get on the sidelines for a college football game, somehow forgetting that real security guards would already be on the sidelines (17)
(Yahoo) Followup Plaxico Burress's lawyer says that he will arrest himself and turn himself over to his local police department after accidentally shooting himself in his leg on Friday after discovering himself trying to break into his own house (87)
(Local6) Florida Man dressed as a woman fires shots inside a Wal-Mart during a robbery attempt, police organize dragnet (24)
(BBC) Amusing As credit crunch hits, people increasingly turning to sex as "a cheap way to pass the time." But only if it's done right (120)
(News.com.au) Scary You know it's hot when even the presence of a crocodile in your pool fails to deter you from having a swim (23)
(AFP) Obvious Women use their boobs to trap men and take their money. Oh, this time they're using chloroform too (74)
(St. Petersburg Times) Dumbass Aquarium employee charged with grand theft, admits he's no angel, got cod up in it just for the halibut (36)
(3 News New Zealand) Cool Crayons - they're not just for eating anymore (27)
(News.com.au) Sad Lagoon city of Venice threatened by high water, flooding. No, this is not a repeat from 2007, 2006, 2005, 2004, 2003, 2002, 2001, 2000, 1999, 1998, 1997, 1996, or any other year since the 13th century (26)
(Some Guy) Obvious French found to be the biggest dicks in Europe (94)
(London Times) Misc Supermarkets selling alcohol cheaper than water. Surprisingly, some people think that's a bad thing (23)
(ICNetwork) Followup Welsh couple say The Most Trusted Name In News gave away their hiding place to Mumbai terrorists (71)
(London Times) News Huge explosion in Slough. David Brent among the missing. Cabbage everywhere (78)
(St. Petersburg Times) PSA Tipping holiday tipping tips for tippers. Tip (342)
(BBC) Spiffy India considers anti-terror body, closing barn door (44)
(News.com.au) Spiffy Melbourne to outlaw "bad street musicians". Ummm, make that "Melbourne to outlaw street musicians" (46)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely City council thinks it can curb alcohol-related fights by giving drinkers bubbles to pacify them after a night at the clubs "This is completely bonkers" (42)
(Fox News) Photoshop The "Office of the President Elect" has no real authority. Photoshop other attempts to make an unofficial thing seem more "official" (49)
(Newsday) Obvious Since repealing the smoking ban didn't fill Atlantic City casinos, they will now try letting patrons wearing Santa hats chase Hooters girls through the halls (26)
(Cleveland) Weird Dinosaur fossil poachers apparently victimize Cleveland Museum of Natural History. In other news, apparently there are dinosaur fossil poachers (65)
(Komo) Dumbass In the Farmer's Market 500, one driver manages to hit seven cars in 13 minutes, gets NASCAR contract (24)
(The Sun) Stupid The "Ashley Dupree" of Scotland forces a Sheriff to quit his job after his heavy whipping sessions were discovered (49)