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Sun January 25, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
In these testing economic times, if you're serious about getting a job, you'll need to pump your face full of botox
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Desperate British girls are using the internet to find foreign strangers with healthy teeth to have sex with
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Cop tries to avoid DUI checkpoint. Cop checked anyway. Cop has weed, and is drunk. Cop tells cop he and his dad are in KKK
source: winknews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Prince Harry, 3rd in line to the throne of one of the oldest monarchies in the world, got dumped on...Facebook
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Like fletcher and thatcher before it, soon "cooper" will be just one more meaningless English last name
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Kayak Boy and Water Dog
source: zzfind.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
So, exactly how DO you smuggle a foot-long live shark out of a pet shop without anyone noticing?
source: themercury.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Italian Premier Silvio Berlusconi says Italian women are so beautiful, they need military escorts or they're gonna get raped. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(KTVB)
 
 
 
Meet Valentine, the cat who survived being shot in the head with an arrow by a 12 year old boy (with video)
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
"Young people tell us they go further sexually than they planned when they are drunk." With quote from Ed Balls
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
UK's food police - "a prime example of excessive Government nannying"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Actual headline: "Gold tooth missing after crutch attack"
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(G4TV)
 
 
 
Gamestop Employees Dress in Fat Suits=EpicFail
source: g4tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
If you just bought "Redneck S--t" but got Madden 09 instead, Walmart would like to make a trade with you
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Meri News)
 
 
 
Study finds divorce makes men richer, according to the National Institute of Counterintuitive Logic
source: merinews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Sound and Motion)
 
 
 
3-D porn is here, apparently the major hurdle was finding male leads willing to undress for the cameras
source: livenews.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Police warn scavengers not to pick up lumber that washes ashore from shipwreck. "This cargo remains the property of the original owner."
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The ultimate review of the greatest gourmet food of all time -- boxed macaroni and cheese
source: food.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mafia hitman threatens to close schools if state legislature allows teachers unions. Did I say "Mafia hitman"? I meant "Catholic bishop"
source: citizensvoice.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Obesity called "America's epidemic." You would have submitted this with a funnier headline, but your fingers were still greasy from eating those sticks of butter for lunch
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The Ultimate Pirate Costume Guide (no scurvy required)
source: conventionfans.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Coffee prevents drain bamage. With bonusly random lolcat
source: inquisitr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Public school uses $135,536 in taxpayer dollars to teach 17 kids to figure skate
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Brew pubs gain a following in Utah. Wait...what?
source: travel.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Man who shot laser beams into aircraft cockpits gets three years in the Pew-PewMITA prison
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
A video of these children's over-energetic eyebrows got 110,000 hits in 24 hours. Who says we're dumbing down?
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Even the Pope agrees: people with an obnoxious amount of Facebook friends are douchebags
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
U of M geeks manage to teleport with 90% accuracy. Not acceptable, guys, but good work, anyway
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you are going to play a game of quick draw with a stranger at a party, make sure you are actually quick on the draw
source: tricities.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Sunday, SUNDAY, SU-
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
What is Russia's most popular premium imported vodka? In other news, Russia imports vodka
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
How much is your health, home and wife worth? A Delaware jury says $2.9 million
source: macon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
And a new word enters the dictionary. Mousewife
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Humane Society bulldozes pet cemetery, headstones and all, to make way for a pet memorial park
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's illegal to molest squirrels in Minnesota. Even the ones with big nuts
source: lacrossetribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(PhillyBurbs)
 
 
 
Evidence suggests US Airways jet hit a soft body. Out of habit, Gotti family denies any knowledge of the incident through their lawyer
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Vegetarians and lonely housewives hit by zucchini crisis as harsh winter kills European crops
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
Hamas opens makeshift offices. Neighbors fear chance of collateral damage will sky rocket
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
"I say old chap, your moobies are exquisite. Do tell me you shan't be following that new trend of getting them reduced"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Toronto seeks slogan that will brand it as a world-class city. We know that you can come up with one for it. Go nuts, eh? (Voting enabled)
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
There have been at least 200 terrorist attacks on American airliners since the Patriot Act became law
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Some Blue Oval Guy)
 
 
 
Today's Photoshop Challenge; Pimp this ride
source: img155.imageshack.us   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Three towns in running for annual "Most Dismal Town In Scotland" award. Submitter surprised they could narrow it down to a shortlist
source: theherald.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
♫ ♪ It's like being stabbed in the back, at your reconciliation dinner ♫ ♪
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Pedigree dogs are becoming stupider and stupider, which is a problem for those of you who were planning on buying a dog to help you balance your checkbook
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Honolulu Advertiser)
 
 
 
Hawaii to offer free airline tickets. You just have to be in Hawaii, homeless, and from somewhere else they can send you back to. And yeah, they're one-way
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Six people gobbled up in Turkey avalanche
source: cnnwire.blogs.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Nanny State tells woman her dogs have to go be fat somewhere else (with fat doggy pics)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Miss Indiana is the new Miss America. Wants world peace, cranberry juice
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Some Aw Jeez Guy)
 
 
 
The man responsible for an internet meme has died. Pay your respects to Jim Horne here
source: up-ship.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Cook county sheriff arrests #2 prostitute in all of Chicago (w/ hittable if MILFish pic)
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(213)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
600 dogs rescued from puppy mills in Washington State pregnant with an estimated 1,500 future puppies. Time to get the kids that dog you promised, Obama
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Just in case someone may have an allergy to eggs, food companies are now printing "contains egg" inside the lid of egg cartons
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(CBS2.com - KCBS Los Angeles)
 
 
 
10-year old boy's parents rescued after slipping while trying to retrieve teddy bear he tossed off cliff
source: cbs2.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Republican Herald)
 
 
 
"Serving an omelet with glass in it also violates the implied warranty that the omelet was safe and edible"
source: republicanherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(The Indy Channel)
 
 
 
Elderly man's pickup truck mistakes him for farmer's market
source: theindychannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Multi-cultural Australia boasts some of the most mouth-watering food in the world. But that just makes it all the more intriguing why one of Australia's great national dishes comes partly incinerated"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian Food Inspection agency warns cheese slices may contain plastic, confirms what we already know
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Fort Smith Times Record)
 
 
 
Van Buren, Arkansas police searching for Blowtorch Bandit, a fiend who uses blowtorches to break into car wash change machines
source: swtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man shot for not letting girlfriend sleep. Next time he'll listen when she's not in the mood
source: thenewsstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 


Sat January 24, 2009
(International Herald Tribune)
 
 
 
Understatement of the day - "Farmers, of course, would prefer to have pigs without Ebola . . ."
source: iht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(12)
 
(Cape - Gazette)
 
 
 
What a Nigerian Facebook scam looks like
source: alleyinsider.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
The Fattest and Fittest cities in the US: Depending on where you live, your dog may want a side of fries with that deep fried steak
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
After 3 years, doctors solve mystery of Boy Who Could Not Sleep: his brain was being squeezed. What, doctors don't watch House, MD?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Man crashes car into chain-link fence, tells cop "I'm wrecked, dude, and I got a suspended license." Then things get really weird
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"It's the weirdest thing when your best friend runs over your mom."
source: honoluluadvertiser.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
You can probably get away with dissolving several bodies in acid for Mexican drug lords, but 300 is pushing your luck
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
When wearing a $78K diamond engagement ring it is best not to hold your hand over a toilet as it flushes
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this underground station
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Researchers at the Royal Institute of No Bloody Kidding discover poor students have less money than rich students
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
There is a big reason why illegals generally cross the Rio Grande and not the Niagara River
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
There will be no more gay pie in Christchurch
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some ancient math guy)
 
 
 
Ancient book found, proving that the ancient Greek mathematician Archimedes was working on inventing calculus. Fark: some monk had scraped off his text and wrote religious prayers all over it
source: sciencenews.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(373)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Help past versions of yourself in this Time Travel game, now with paradoxes
source: weebls-stuff.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Teens rob bank, make daring get-away on snowmobiles. Good thing they don't leave behind any sort of tracks or anything
source: norwichbulletin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Two-thirds of the economy of Mendocino County, California is fueled by marijuana. "If we didn't have marijuana, what would this county be like? I think we'd all be selling Amway."
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
61 year old man must pay $55K legal fees and for the work to haul 17 truckloads of trash from his Leeds home after neighbors complained of rat infestation
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Once again, before you ask someone to help speed up your computer, delete all your child porn first. Especially if you're a prison guard
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
The best way to sell a 1990 Lincoln Town Car on eBay: Drape a half-naked woman over the hood. (Barely SFW)
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Chinese guy with 16-inches of domestic pipework impaled in his face stuns indecisive medics by ripping it out himself
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
What's hung like a horse and has an STD? Mr. Ed not available for questioning
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Woman's best friend: Boston terrier halts rape attempt. Your dog wants a criminal
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(The Register Citizen)
 
 
 
Man charged after using the old "I need to personally inspect you for herpes before you can use my pool" trick
source: registercitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Forbes)
 
 
 
While you can't get your HMO to cover your broken wrist, your money is buying health coverage for 90% of Chinese
source: forbes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Telegram)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bonsai tree
source: images.telegram.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(KATU)
 
 
 
Coolest video of Sam the baby elephant playing you will see all day
source: katu.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(TheIntermountain)
 
 
 
Snatched money found in bank robber's vagina . Needs a safer box
source: theintermountain.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"It is incredible and shocking that physical attacks on journalists can happen in a first-world country like Iceland." In related news, Iceland has been relegated from Fourth-World status (pics)
source: blogs.telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Texas sees first gay divorce case. Dunno what they're sore about
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Tired, suspicious, bored, and lonely: British "among least happy people in Europe". Which isn't at all surprising when one considers they're stuck on an island in the North Atlantic
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Why men hate spas: "If it's a massage, we are concentrating so intently on not farting or entering a state of visible arousal that our bodies tense up like England footballers during a semi-final penalty shootout"
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
News: Families of people killed by an IRA bomb to be given £12,000 compensation each. Fark: Including the person that planted the bomb who accidentally blew himself up
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Another sign of the bad economy: Collection agency sued over threatening deadbeats with "we're going to take your children away". Deadbeats consider the offer
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Some Mario Bro)
 
 
 
Study shows gamers more likely to drink, smoke weed, ignore friends
source: techradar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Tampa Bay Online)
 
 
 
Local man fights for his right to dress like Batman
source: www2.tbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Two killed, seven injured in Liberty City shooting. Man given four stars, flees in stolen taxi to steal helicopter at airport
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Dr. Scholl is gellin' like a felon
source: fortwayne.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Wish TV)
 
 
 
Highway workers find $200k in abandoned tire...Indiana State Police confirms $100k found in abandoned tire
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
Things you can do with newspaper. You can also make a hat or a brooch or a pterodactyl
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this winter walker
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
Man fights pot charges stating that cannabis "increases ability to feel the presence of God."
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(163)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
"A female-penned novel so pornographic that it has reportedly caused people to faint at public readings is to go on sale in Britain." In other news, a large number of Britons have yet to discover the internet
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Some Lazy Guy)
 
 
 
Woman walks 12 hours a day, to and from work, during bus strike
source: ottawacitizen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
Georgia rolls out new feline license plate for your Caturday driving pleasure, Cat-illac style
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(550)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
News - Arsonists torch bar. Fark - Amateur arsonist sets fire to self. Ultrafark - Burning arsonist gets into getaway car and sets fire to that (news video, includes surveillance tape of arse-nist)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Man fired for not using toilet paper, refusing to explain the whole three seashells thing
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you are an attorney representing juveniles try not to leave your thumb drive with the kiddie porn in the jury box, courts tend to frown on that
source: lakeconews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Some Maine-iac)
 
 
 
Asking your girlfriend to marry you during a traffic stop isn't going to work, dumbass. What? Really? Only in Maine
source: morningsentinel.mainetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Brazilian amputee model dies at age 20. Investigators stumped at cause of death
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man considered $177,250 bank error 'a gift from God'
source: ibtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Pro-tip: When transporting 235 pounds of cocaine with your family, try to settle on your story BEFORE getting pulled over
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(SeattlePI)
 
 
 
Seattle named "Most Wired City" in US. It's good to see all that coffee isn't going to waste
source: blog.seattlepi.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Stars and Stripes)
 
 
 
"If the farkin' Army wanted you to have babies, soldier, it would have issued you midwives. Oh, it did? Carry on"
source: stripes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
One thing is for certain: Reverend Ted Haggard loves penis
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 


Fri January 23, 2009
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Chicago area businesses to send pizzas and Schlitz beer to thousands of soldiers in Iraq. Haven't those troops suffered enough?
source: pioneerlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
In an attempt to extort more money in sexual harassment suit, women arranges to be sexually assaulted, which, it turns out, doesn't go all that well
source: kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
New Yorkers find out the hard way that biodiesel turns into biolard when it's cold. Where's global warming when you need it?
source: greeninc.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(115)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Sleeping McBeauty
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(RedOrbit)
 
 
 
British penguin afraid of water. Quick -- someone call Morgan Freeman
source: redorbit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Old and Busted - Virgin Mary on a grilled cheese sandwich. New hotness - dog's image appears on backyard grill
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
Thankfully, they don't make cars like they used to
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
This weeks TSG mugshot round up includes a narcissistic hottie a couple of yeah I'd woulds and the requisite WHAT THE HELL IS THAT? or two
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(241)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Bus carrying students from Christa McAuliffe Middle School bursts into flames. NASA currently investigating
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
Best mug shot of a guy who had sex with a Raggedy Ann doll you'll see all day
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Money burning a hole in the pockets of your Italian cashmere suit? Looking for a new yacht, or Boeing 737? Check out the new luxury e-Bay
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Blagojevich's lead attorney quits: "I have practiced law for 44 years. I never require a client to do what I say, but I do require clients to listen to what I say"
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Goat detained over armed robbery
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(You Debate)
 
 
 
Group of teenage girls says "It's cool to be sober." Surprisingly, one of them is actually kinda hot
source: madison.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(223)
 
(WLWT)
 
 
 
I'm no expert, but I would think having a distinctive facial tattoo would hinder your life of crime. Especially if the tattoo is "Fark You"
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
British Bishop denies Holocaust, claims that only 200-300k died, and certainly not in gas chambers. The Pope called, he wants the cape and funny hat back. Now
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
When you return to your hotel to find the baby you left alone is missing and there's a note from the cops, the rest of your vacation is probably not going to be fun
source: wpri.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
City cracking down on jaywalkers because of traffic-related deaths. Or could it the $49.50 to help in a slumping economy?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
Today's attempted murder of someone allergic to peanuts comes to you from Canada and a disgruntled guy who smeared peanut butter on his fiancees car door
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Las Vegas 10th Anniversary Fark Party Sunday 1pm with Drew at The Freakin Frog. Link goes to Fark travel page, feel free to add your favorite local spots
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Apparently if you sell designer flasks to young girls they might be tempted to put alcohol in it
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"Should your wife have guy-friends?" It's not news it's cnn
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(842)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for not returning library book. You know that little stamp, the one that says New York Public Library? Well, that may not mean anything to you, but that means a lot to me
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Police break up road rage fight with a sushi chef, who was trying to create the first Staten Island roll on the other driver's face
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Even UFOs couldn't stay away from Obama's historic inauguration
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Alcohol and pay-per-view Ultimate Fighting Championship: What could go wrong?
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
In remembrance of Andrew Wyeth, Photoshop "Christina's World"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(152)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Caylee Anthony's grandfather found alive in hotel room with 6 page suicide note
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(247)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago cracks down on people saving a shoveled-out parking space with chairs, cones, unwanted children, milk crates, old toilets, or other such detritus and jetsam
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(189)
 
(ktvb.com)
 
 
 
1..0 t..h..o..u..s..a..n..d g..a..l..l..o..n..m o..l..a..s..s..e..s s..p..i..l..l
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Some Annoyed Guy)
 
 
 
Think signing up for the Do Not Call List means fewer telemarketing calls? Yeah, not so much
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
The residents of Penistone, South Yorkshire would like you to stop mispronouncing the name of their town
source: wtopnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
The musical quartet playing at the inauguration pulled a Milli Vanilli. Countdown to someone somewhere claiming that this means that Obama isn't president begins now
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Iceland burns in the aftermath of new Bjork video. Some also reportedly angered by complete economic collapse
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
A gallery of "street art" taken a bit literally
source: cars.jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Actual Fox forum question: "Would you want terrorists in your back yard?"
source: foxforum.blogs.foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(373)
 
(Advertizer)
 
 
 
Fifty percent of Australian women drink while pregnant, which explains a lot
source: bordercountiesadvertizer.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Funny Or Die)
 
 
 
"Hi I'm Newt Gingrich and I won't take part in any online video". Except The High Five Inauguration
source: funnyordie.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Rednecks remove Conferderate flag just in time for the Super Bowl. Just kidding, they're hanging a new, improved version
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(582)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Hiding from homicide detectives is easy as long as you don't spit on the ground. The police are all over that
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Record Online (NY))
 
 
 
You know your presidency is a cultural phenomenon when the drug dealers name their latest variety of heroin after you
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Two people arrested for DWI in the same night for driving the same car (difficulty: one charged after failed attempt to park the car in the driveway)
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Northern Echo)
 
 
 
The squirrel attack was rated "moderate" on a scale of "insignificant" to "catastrophic"
source: thenorthernecho.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(2news.tv)
 
 
 
Gym denies family discount to lesbian couple; which is especially outrageous, as no one wants to see fat lesbians together
source: 2news.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(539)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nanny state violates civil liberties yet again by denying a woman's right to allow her three-year old to smoke
source: dailyindia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This tag's for you Mr. "regular customer robs store and gets caught" guy
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
"Hey, honey, remember how I proposed to you that day and we set the wedding for April 1st? Well, APRIL FOOOOOLS"
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Michigan governor and lawmakers endorse plan to reduce spending by releasing prisoners early. This should end well
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Minuteman)
 
 
 
Former Massachusetts state senator busted for groping and accosting multiple women claims charges are unconstitutional because "if a woman did it, she would not be charged"
source: wickedlocal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Maybe being a security guard at an art museum isn't the best profession if you are prone to slash the paintings that you don't like
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
Girl Scout cookies now come in smaller boxes. Too... many... jokes, can't... continue
source: dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(MetroWest Daily News)
 
 
 
If you plan to flee the scene of an accident, try not to leave behind anything that might identify you, such as the front bumper of your car. Especially if your license plate is still attached to it
source: metrowestdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Boston Channel)
 
 
 
New law to limit biker noise to 99db, also requires the motorcycles to be quieter
source: thebostonchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(267)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Grip tightened on sex ring; stiff charges promised
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
If you're worried about being evicted from your squat, you could always kidnap a giant talking loaf of bread to get your point across
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
College student has money stolen from his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles wallet. That's like totally bogus, dude
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Some things just aren't appropriate for kids to be exposed to. I'm looking at you, Hairy Guy Dressed as Wonder Woman
source: conventionfans.today.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(KFVS)
 
 
 
Missouri authorities gamble that playing cards featuring missing persons will let inmates help them solve cold cases. My pair of Missing White Girls beats your full house of wandering Alzheimer's patients
source: kfvs12.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Three killed in knife attack at Belgium daycare
source: ca.news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(Post-Tribune)
 
 
 
Real life word problem. If a man is three times over the limit after 15 hours, how drunk was he when he stopped? Show your work
source: post-trib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Educators trying to tackle cyberbullying, citing extreme risks of cyberwedgies, uninhibited poking, wanton de-friending
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
DiePod
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
"Threesome assault pastor defrocked". Well, he could hardly have joined in if he kept it on
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Meet the chicken who lays grapefruit sized eggs. With "that came out of me?" photo
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Amish man will go to jail and 'read his Bible' before he brings his outhouses into sewage code compliance
source: tribune-democrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this canal
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Luxury adventure holiday providers weathering the faltering world economy. Lower income folks risk taking by poking bears with sticks, drunk driving, or eating off the Hardee's dollar menu
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(KPTV)
 
 
 
Portland, Ore. is sympathetic to their mayor during his recent sex scandal. Just kidding, local t-shirt company makes a funny t-shirt about it which is selling out. (With video goodness of t-shirt companies' hot owner)
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Nashville rejects English-only ordinance in a victory by speakers of authentic frontier gibberish
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(344)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Eighth grader invents transparent window stickers only birds can see to keep them from slamming into windows. Still no cure for bird poop
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Police find 44 stolen containers of deodorant stuffed down a man's pants. On the plus side, he's got the best smelling balls in jail
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
It's a terrorist's dream: the personal aircraft. "You fly in non-complex airspace at relatively low speed." Help, Jane, stop this crazy thing
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Inauguration deemed "the largest temporary toilet event in the history of the United States."
source: mcclatchydc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fiesty mate preparing to fire
source: cache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
Man tries to kill himself by driving Shaggy's and Scooby's van off a Colorado cliff, but crash landing on a rock wasn't part of the plan
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 


Thu January 22, 2009
(UPI)
 
 
 
Caption this picture of Obama on the phone
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
Not news: Dude arrested for stealing three cars and crashing two of them in one night. News: While drunk. Fark: He's 13 years old
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(ReasonPad.com)
 
 
 
Pics from the recovery of US Airways 1549 from Hudson River
source: reasonpad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(News4Jax)
 
 
 
Sam's Club supervisor orders employee to remove T-shirt with President Obama's portrait because one person complained
source: news4jax.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(357)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Man spared jail time for abandoning 280 rats, because they were, um, rats
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Man murders his estranged wife after she changed her marital status on Facebook to "single", wouldn't stop sending Lil' Green Patch requests
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Missouri Neo Nazis allowed to participate in Adopt a Highway program. The group may need additional help since they have requested to only pick up white trash
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(2009 Bloggies)
 
 
 
Fark.com up for a lifetime achievement Bloggie. Vote early, vote often
source: 2009.bloggies.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(10TV)
 
 
 
Step 1: steal car. Step 2: drink beer in stolen car. Step 3: swing by your AA office for a quick stop ...stop ...STOP
source: 10tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
NY landlord in deep shiat after removing tenant's toilet to get her to move out
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Student makes fun of Queen's guardsman. We were not amused. The Sun is there with video
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(WPIX-TV)
 
 
 
BREAKING: Kirsten Gillibrand tapped by NY Gov. David Paterson to replace Hillary Clinton in US Senate
source: wpix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man fighting with his wife in a minivan in front of school grabs an empty beer bottle in the vehicle and hits her over the head (w/ a mugshot that will take a few beers to remove from your memory)
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Twenty bankrupt hippies set up a squat in a $25M townhouse: "The view is magic, especially at sunset"
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(WWL TV)
 
 
 
Hot, hot housecleaner gets no jail time for sleeping with boys as young as 13. (w/ pic)
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(238)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
If you take a cab in NYC and your credit card is declined, they're gonna take your shiat. You've been warned
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
What not to say on a date. "Does this rag smell like chloroform?" surprisingly absent
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Galileo to get his eyes checked, 367 years after his death. And you thought your HMO sucked
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Islamic cleric claims Australians are all boozers hooked on prostitution and gambling. You say that like it's a bad thing
source: news.smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Sheriff loses re-election, then files for unemployment claiming he was fired
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
U.S. Marines ordered to stay clear of Tijuana. Won't someone think of the donkey shows?
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(131)
 
(wmur)
 
 
 
Woman attacked by man claiming to be a cable guy. Her suspicions should have been aroused when the man arrived at the correct appointment time
source: wmur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Would you throw these two cuties out of school for bleaching their hair?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby bonobo rejected by its mother, flies to Germany to meet new mom, who apparently likes ugly-ass things
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bobsled
source: army.mil   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Study finds cleaner air adds 5 months to your lifespan. Is that why everyone in Houston is dying by the age of 45
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Can you eat a 7 lb burrito?
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Not everyone had a good time on Tuesday. Meet the survivors of the Purple Tunnel of Doom
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Denver is filled with tons of bullshiat, which gives one man an idea
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Canadian student debt hits $13 billion. He probably shouldn't have bought so many rounds for the entire bar
source: thestarphoenix.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
This really can't be stressed enough...If you're going to haul 200+ lbs of weed in your car, make sure your tag hasn't expired
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Snowball fight, that's an arrestin'
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(151)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Not really up on this whole "threat" business, Hugo Chavez tells Venezuelans either they let him seek re-election forever or he'll leave office in 2013
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(227)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Proof that there is justice in the universe... Those Hummer drivers are 463% more likely to get a ticket than the rest of us
source: articles.moneycentral.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(362)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
Fire breaks out at Mount Sinai Hospital, begins talking to Moses
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
University of Florida emergency text message..."The monkey got out of the cage"...EVERYBODY PANIC
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(WXVT.com)
 
 
 
Scientist at the Arkansas Earthquake Center says a newly discovered fault in Arkansas could cause a major earthquake, devastating Arkansas, Tennessee and Mississippi, causing hundreds of dollars in damage
source: wxvt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Rocky Mountain News)
 
 
 
50 years ago today, beer drinkers became able to crush a can on their foreheads. Thank you Coors
source: rockymountainnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man arrested for the 190th time. Only 10 more to go and he gets a free 6 inch sub at Subway
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Dallas News)
 
 
 
If you allow a friend to verify the validity of winning $20k winning lottery ticket, there's a good chance you'll never see the ticket again
source: crimeblog.dallasnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Dalmation takes a break from playing poker, learns to ride bicycle (with video)
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
Job ad: "Wanted: Webmaster for anti-smoking organization. Must be a non-smoker" Smoker's rights group: "Wa--*cough* Wait a min-- *wheeze* minute"
source: ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(388)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Gas station sells winning lottery ticket, then owner fires employees so he won't have to share commission with them. Man, the owner must have power balls to pull something like that
source: suburbanchicagonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
There are safe places to store $20,000 in cash. Your unlocked SUV is not one of them
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
In Texas, you murder someone when your daughter doesn't make the cheerleading squad, In Oklahoma, you just taser them
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Homeless ministry gives full pedicures to homeless people. Then they go back to sleeping outside under a bridge, and pooping in a jar. But look at their beautiful feet
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(104)
 
(STLToday)
 
 
 
World Series ticket scalper alleges St. Louis police confiscated his tickets and gave them to friends, along with a $2000 convenience fee that they conveniently forgot to include on his arrest report
source: stltoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
No, really it's just a coincidence that we have released the "Sasha" and "Malia" Beany Babies at the crescendo of Obamamania. But, pretty good timing, eh? (w/cute as a button pics)
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
Ten best Scotch whiskies not sold in purple velvet bags. It's not news, it's public service in the finest journalistic tradition
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(459)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
"I, you know, informed Governor Paterson today, you know, um, that for personal reasons, you know, I am withdrawing my name, um, you know, from consideration for the, er, you know, United States Senate" Okay, so NOW it's official
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these dashboards
source: ticona-photos.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Couple gets married five times in one year. Some people are just gluttons for punishment
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
On Tuesday morning Luke Song was a little-known Detroit milliner, by noon he'd become the Fashion Criminal Behind Aretha Franklin's Hat
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
"They lost one of our bags," Mike Kuntz said
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Old and busted: Smuggling drugs by plane. New hotness (but still busted): Drug smuggling submarines
source: blog.wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(The Citizen)
 
 
 
Swedish parents denied right to call their son "Q", and all the gadgets in the world won't save them
source: thelocal.se   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"Ceramic wielding family confront burglar with feet of clay". Dorfl unavailable for comment
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Think your cable bill is a bit much? Wait til you see how much you're paying for Bill Clinton's
source: khq.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
First they came for the music teachers, now the garbage men have to wear earmuffs. Hopefully it'll be something pink and fluffy
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
Supreme Court declares porn censorship unconstitutional, demands everyone leaves for 15-20 halfway through ruling to re-examine the evidence
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Maintenance error kills 15 sharks at Indianapolis Zoo. Surviving shark tells zookeepers "suck my diiiiiiiiiiiick"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Brazilian Miss World finalist has bad urinary tract infection. Really bad
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
About Caroline Kennedy leaving the NY Senate race: not so much, y'know. 2:00AM UPDATE: wait, she's back out. Stay tuned for additional reversals
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Labrador voted best dog for 18th straight year. Your loser dog wants a recount
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(256)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
You at age 12: Getting into heated arguments about whether Batman could kick Superman's ass. This kid at 12: KO'ing a cop with his bare hands and outrunning K-9s for several blocks
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this art gallery
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 194: "Take Three" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 


Wed January 21, 2009
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
To save money, upscale hotel chains are removing free bottles of hand lotion from rooms. Which is a smart move, because it will also mean savings on tissue usage, and cleaning stains off of the comforters, walls, and ceilings
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Some Florida Guy)
 
 
 
Florida interstate shut down for hours after semi truck dumps 200 kegs of beer on to road leaving dozens of motorists stranded, sober
source: gatorsports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Five. Five thousand. Five thousand dollar reward for information leading to the arrest of Omaha Subway robber
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Live Science)
 
 
 
Her plan unraveled when she appeared at her own funeral service, claiming to be her own long-lost identical twin sister
source: livescience.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Newsday)
 
 
 
The Coast Guard wants boaters and pilots to know that after Feb. 1 they will only respond to your digital distress call
source: newsday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(WTOP)
 
 
 
"Days since murder on campus" counter at Virginia Tech resets to 0
source: wtop.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(LA Weekly)
 
 
 
Wil Wheaton reflects on fatherhood. Excuse me, the wind blew something into my eyes
source: blogs.laweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(133)
 
(Gawker)
 
 
 
News Corp handled today's white powder scare at the Wall St. Journal in a calm and orderly fashion--by evacuating the execs and editors and leaving everyone else to pretty much fend for themselves
source: gawker.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Bad: You lose your dog. Worse: While looking for your dog you lock your keys in your running car parked on a river. Fark: Heat from the car melts the ice and it sinks into the river. Farkest: The car was a loaner
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
If you're planning on giving the police who've just arrested you a false home address, try not to pick one of theirs
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Yes, hello, I'd like to request Celine Dio...**CRASH**
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
ACLU sues Minnesota public school for promoting Islam
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Expect a baby boom nine months from now because of so many people "celebrating" Obama's inauguration
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(219)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
If you feel like doing some burnouts with your car, don't do it in front of the police academy. This goes double if you're growing pot at your house
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
To the great surprise of absolutely no one, British government taps "emergency" contingency fund to the tune of $633 million to pour down the 2012 London Black Hole, er, Olympic Games
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Who didn't see this coming? Polygamist's defence is "hey, if gay marriage is okay, so is marrying a bunch of 15 year olds"
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Sonar has detected something 16 feet long and 8 feet wide in the Hudson River. Officials trying to determine if it's the engine from US 1549 or Wynonna Judd
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(86)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
New international effort hopes to eradicate polio in next 4 years. No, this is not a repeat from 1955
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
The case of the Portsmouth, NH door locks being glued is an open and shut case. OK, mainly just shut
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Nazi doctor Josef Mengele created 'town of twins' in South America. Who the hell knew 'The Boys From Brazil' was a documentary? (pic)
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(CBS11tv.com)
 
 
 
Exxon CEO says gas prices are too low. Also thinks kittens are ugly and beer is bad
source: cbs11tv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Toronto Star)
 
 
 
Canadian politeness hits new heights as Ontario man thoughtfully pulls his car over to the shoulder so he can die without inconveniencing anyone
source: thestar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
When you call three judges who reverse your malpractice verdict a jackass, a Nazi leader, and the wife of Adolf Hitler, you probably shouldn't expect the appeals court judges to give you a favorable ruling
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Abc.net.au)
 
 
 
You know the drought is bad when a lake bed catches fire... twice
source: abc.net.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Half of all smokers are even dumber than you think they are
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(616)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Former French president Jacques Chirac hospitalized after being mauled by a "clinically depressed" poodle. This is why we make fun of you, France
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Doctors revive woman found frozen in a snowbank. Reportedly our strange flying machines frighten and confuse her
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
The downside to hiding from the cops underneath a parked truck is that it doesn't always stay parked forever
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this fair pair
source: beaverfair.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Ancient Greek homes doubled as pubs and brothels
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Nanny State forbids private citizens from operating their own CCTV cameras in public places because it infringes privacy and violates data protection laws
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(174)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Chicago alderman using the old "I didn't use the bathroom for 7 hours therefore I wasn't drunk" defense in response to being arrested for DUI
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Scottish Catholics upset over use of 'The Hokey Pokey', citing anti-Catholic roots. Son of songwriter comes forward, admits it's just a song about cocaine. That's what it's all about
source: canada.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
French President Nicolas Sarkozy is an avid taint-flexer. He's lost 9 pounds and slimmed two pants sizes, but brother, you don't want to see what his boxers look like
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Iowa lawmakers want to lower the alcohol limit to .08 for boaters, but keep it at .10 for motorists
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Bucks County PA to host streetlight convention this weekend. Be enlightened
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(WoodTV)
 
 
 
Buffalo is running out of chicken wings. EVERYBODY PANIC
source: woodtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Restaurant owner forbids manager to hold after-hour Bible study classes with her subordinates to avoid sexual harassment charges
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Abandoned ugly-ass lemur... aw, who am I kidding? It's just the cutest darn thing you'll ever see
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
72-year-old Indiana man raises $1,600 for charity by having shaggy eyebrows trimmed. He's absolutely shocked at the amount he raised, or at least now he appears to be
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
This year's front runner for hottest teacher busted for underage sex comes to you from Vernon Parish, Louisiana
source: leesvilledailyleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(324)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
Guy leaving liquor store backs up into parked car, then smashes into store window, through a fence, into a wall, another window, and finally a tree. No word if alcohol was involved
source: blogs.tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Couple win compensation because there are no herds of majestic wildebeest in Cardiff
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(WAAY TV)
 
 
 
It takes a real idiot to make counterfeit $100 bills using a printer purchased at a discount store, but it takes even bigger idiots in eight cities to accept the bills before the culprit is caught
source: waaytv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Amazingly, China doesn't want Obama to reverse Bush's lucrative deals that have shipped millions of jobs to their country instead of ours
source: uk.reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(538)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Case of the magic cheese shocks France. There's a cream that will clear that right up for them
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Happy squirrel appreciation day. Have you hugged a large-nut squirrel today?
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
World's toughest cop chases down suspect despite having his eyeball impaled by a six-inch branch. With pics of cop and pierced eyeball
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Ciudad Juarez, Mexico, is looking for a new police commander after the last one lost his head after only four days in office
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(379)
 
(9 News)
 
 
 
Cleanup crew from Hurricance Ike finds a box with $50 in Confederate currency, war medals and Bea Arthur's prom dress
source: 9news.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
10th Anniversary Fark Parties: now with more Las Vegas (1/25), Vancouver (2/2), Pasadena (2/5), Bay Area (2/8), Lexington (2/13), and DC (2/20||21) goodness
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Seniors theater group almost makes "Of Mice and Men" rehearsal into "The Crow"
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Government orders workers to adhere to strict daily exposure limits and wear safety gear or lose their jobs. Sounds normal for nuclear plant workers, but this is for music teachers
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop Asian happy fun balls class
source: kd-sangjang-e.kwtbe.go.kr   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you stole the jaws of life from the Highland Home, AL fire dept, when you're done uploading some awesome YouTube video, the police would like a word with you
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Canadian judge to wannabe-gangsta: "Grow up"
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(185)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass orphaned baby lamb given wool sweater to deal with the cold. Awww
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Germany's government bans the synthetic marijuana-like drug known as "Spice", authorizes giant sandworm hunt
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(222)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
You know those signs in bathrooms designed to show complete retards how to wash their hands? Well, USA Today just reprinted one of those and called it an article. It's not news... seriously, it's not news
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
Kentucky does not rule the Internet after all. Drew reported inconsolable, begins new plan for world domination
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
When he informed them that he was a stripper, two female officers watched Mr Kennedy perform his act, before arresting him for impersonating a police officer. He has just been cleared of all charges... for the 22nd time
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Marijuana grower gets narced on by his 11-month old son, whose name will be changed to "snitches are biatches"
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(130)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
With over a million guests in DC yesterday, police report no arrests, no serious injuries, no significant property damage, and 30 lost children returned to their parents
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(279)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
With no Missing White Girls™ currently in the news, CNN digs up one from 25 years ago
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Flight attendant sues when she's denied a flight for not being dressed provocatively enough. Bonus: she changed clothes but was too late for the flight
source: wsbradio.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
New Zealand PM's to-do list: 1. Go to work. 2. Fall down stairs, break arm. 3. Hand out rugby awards, shake hands with 120 rugby players. 4. Go to hospital
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
The two fishermen who survived 25 days at sea in an icebox? Yeah, maybe not so much
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man tells police the $2100 in cash in his wallet came from mowing lawns. His story might be believable considering he had an open bottle of Michelob Ultra in his truck
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Today's story of a postal worker renting a storage unit to stash mail brought to you by Howell, MI
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man tries to use the failing economy to dupe people into buying vehicles he rented. Somehow methinks he didn't think his cunning plan all the way through
source: journaltimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Woman can't call out for her dog that ran away at night because of strict noise ordinance. Dog gets hit by car. "You can keep looking for her, but you have to do it quietly."
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Obama freezes Guantanamo Bay for 120 days
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(992)
 
(3 News New Zealand)
 
 
 
Sword-wielding burglar relieves couple of their marijauna. There can be only... dude, I forgot how many there can be
source: 3news.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this menacing man
source: 2photo.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you get in a fight with your dad over a brownie, and smashing him in the mouth with his cane doesn't make you feel better, go ahead and burn his house down
source: ydr.inyork.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(Lincoln Star Journal)
 
 
 
Some people handle a break-up a lot differently than you and I. This 24-year old knocks on doors looking for 62-year old grannies to have threesomes (with mugshot)
source: journalstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 


Tue January 20, 2009
(Jalopnik)
 
 
 
On a test track, under a bridge, in a parking lot and twelve other strange places automakers are stashing thousands of unsold cars
source: jalopnik.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Wanted: Doctor for remote Scottish village. Upside: You'll be paid $120,000-a-year and have a great view. Downside: The locals will probably fry your scallywaggles and eat them
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Mississippi wants to join Alabama by putting disclaimers on evolution textbooks; "No one was present when life first appeared on earth. Therefore, any statement about life's origins should be considered a theory,"
source: christianpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(897)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
News: British customs officers arrest South African Airways flight crew members after finding cannabis and cocaine in baggage at Heathrow. Fark: the *entire* flight crew including the pilot
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Eaten out lately? You may be one of the over 100 million credit card transactions compromised by spyware at a payment processor
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Saddam's luxury yacht arrives in Iraq. Will be renamed Barack Throat Warbler Mangrove
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Daily Star)
 
 
 
Nanny state coastguard ordered to "fill in the relevant forms" before attempting to save anyone's life
source: dailystar.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
For some reason, neighbors don't like that somebody erected a six-foot wiener in his front yard. "I'm not a slob. I'm a collector."
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Man, sick of waiting for passengers to get off plane, decides to open up emergency wing exit to get off Delta flight. Jailarity ensues
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(96)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man breaks out a gun after a football won't get off his lawn
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
British children spend twice as much time in front of TV and computer screens dominated by commercial messages than they do in school. This headline brought to you by ShamWow
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these hockey fans
source: arena-mo.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Researchers say children as young as five should be taught pleasure of gay sex, to stop homophobia in later years. Who could possibly have a problem with that?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(255)
 
(The Collegian)
 
 
 
"Women want the dick, even when they say 'no.' They want the dick." -Colorado State University Police Chief Dexter Yarbrough
source: media.www.collegian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(Some Fry Guy)
 
 
 
72-year-old retires after 39 years. At McDonald's
source: news-daily.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Arranging for sex with someone you think is an underage girl on the internet is never a good idea..especially if you're the mayor of a Milwaukee suburb
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(263)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Headline: Woman hit by train. Third sentence: "She was not hit by a train"
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
"Speedball" brand beer may be banned in UK because it might confuse people into thinking that beer killed John Belushi and River Phoenix
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
If even the judge at your burglary trial mocks you as "singularly inept" after police haul your naked ass out of a chimney, chances are you're not on track to become a criminal mastermind
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
A kidney stone that even the strongest sparrow would have trouble carrying
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Seacoastonline.com)
 
 
 
*Ding* He's done
source: seacoastonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(ABC)
 
NewsFlash
 
Senator Ted Kennedy evacuated from inaugural luncheon after collapse/convulsions
source: blogs.abcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(892)
 
(LBC 97.3)
 
 
 
If you're wearing a bra full of cocaine, maybe it's not such a good idea to show up at a gas station and start shovin' people. Just sayin
source: tampabays10.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Quit smoking. Your pets will thank you
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(230)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Cow goes person-tipping on unsuspecting cyclist
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby rhino is so ugly-ass that it's abandoned by its own mother
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
London man accused of hacking NASA and DOD computers says he was looking for streetlights
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man with samurai sword is arrested after going all feudal on his girlfriend
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Daily Herald)
 
 
 
Grandma accused of biting baby falls back on the classic "I ain't got enough teeth" defense
source: dailyherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Daily Iowan)
 
 
 
In an effort to curb Iowa City's epic drinking problem the city council may vote to allow random breath-testing of bar employees and bands performing at local bars. Dishwashers, base players, the ACLU not amused
source: media.www.dailyiowan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
UN: Stop using white phosphorous grenades, they're illegal. Israel: What phosphorous grenades? UN: The ones you use in this video on civilians
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(795)
 
(11 Alive)
 
 
 
When the police find you passed out at a traffic light with your car still in gear, there's probably not much chance you're going to avoid a sobriety test
source: 11alive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(The Age (Melbourne))
 
 
 
Seaman discharged after tea-bagging incident
source: theage.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Armed man threatens to attack woman. Enter the eight-year-olds with baseball bats
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
NTSB says records show that 2 days before crash the US Airways plane suffered what is probably an unrelated problem that likely didn't contribute at all to the crash but we're out of hero pilot stories
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(The Earth Times)
 
 
 
A US citizen caused delays to a Turkish Airlines flight between Istanbul and New York after complaining that there were "Arab-types" on board
source: earthtimes.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Teacher avoids jail time for sex with 15-year-old student after one of the parents testifies that "[the encounter] had not had any long-term psychological affect on him". (w/pic)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Change.gov)
 
 
 
It's time for Photoshop you can believe in. Gussy up this rather staid official Presidential portrait of Barack Obama
source: change.gov   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
LAPD officials say cops at a mob scene should not put on their riot helmets because the gear might escalate passions among the demonstrators. One officer in the hospital with head wounds has a problem with that policy
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Blockhead)
 
 
 
It's the Barack Obama Inauguration Speech bingo drinking game. Or, if you're a conservative, just chug a bottle of vodka and pass out until tomorrow
source: 4-blockworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Inauguration thread II: Presidential Boogaloo
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2619)
 
(AC Press)
 
 
 
If you're in the country illegally & have warrants out for your arrest, you might want to lay off the "bomb in my luggage" remarks when in the casino
source: pressofatlanticcity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(9)
 
(Haaretz)
 
 
 
Israel recruits 'army of bloggers' to combat anti-Zionist blogs. Troops divided into Cheetos Cavalry, Bacon Battalion and various Squads of Internet Tough Guys
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Todays mysterious apparition of the Virgin Mary is brought to by Billings, Montana, and a chunk of agate
source: billingsgazette.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(BSU|DN)
 
 
 
Study looks into what college students view as warning signs for dangerous parties. If you're wondering why no girls are coming to your dilapidated, poorly lit house, here's your answer
source: media.www.bsudailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass albino hedgehog rescued from certain death in the wild (pics not safe for diabetics)
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(50)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
MP corporal moonlights as $150/hour bisexual hooker. You'd hit it, but not for $150 an hour
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(120)
 
(National Review)
 
 
 
Because Obama's ancestry can be traced to William the Lion of Scotland, there are calls for an Obama-themed kilt... because you can't hide your Lion thighs
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(110)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
It's Inauguration Day. If you bet that Bush would make up a crisis to take over the country, you can take off your tinfoil hat. If you think Obama is a secret Muslim out to destroy the country, put yours on now(Closed)
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(1120)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Robber: "Give me all your money, I have a knife." Clerk: "That's not a knife, THIS is a knife." Robber: "Yeah? Well THIS is suntan lotion"
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(42)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
Brits are forcing themselves to eat horrific-tasting food. Thankfully in the UK it's readily available
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(115)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Caption this legless Glenn Close
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(79)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I drove up and down the street three times -- where is my house?" Detroit's massive fail
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(105)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Everyone who said that the stalking jacket lady story was just viral advertising, give yourselves a nice big pat on the back
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
God gets medieval on al-Qaeda's ass
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(168)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
Unless you are Rambo, Robin Hood, Legolas, or one of them there Duke boys, don't bring a bow and arrow to a gunfight
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(95)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
America plans to rid itself of vampires with synthetic sex hormones, rather than the more traditional Hot Topic burnings
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(39)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Illinois man crowned king of Elvis impersonators, gets $3,200 - fried peanut butter and banana sandwich
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(23)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Canadian agricultural industry trying to promote farming as a desirable career choice for young people. "We have to set a positive example and make it sexy"
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(59)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Raise your voice while on a plane? Terrorism. Making out on a plane? Terrorism. Punish your kids while on a plane? You'd better believe that's terrorism
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(210)