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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun June 28, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CBS Minneapolis) Interesting Born again Christians arrested for handing out bibles at Gay Pride festival  (wcco.com) (1280)
(Some Guy) Scary Sleeping woman surprised by morning wood  (wsbtv.com) (83)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this yellow stagshorn  (flickr.com) (32)
(Times-Dispatch) Asinine Sure clotheslines may save money and might be good for the environment, but few things are worse for neighborhood property values than visible evidence of normal human activity  (timesdispatch.com) (384)
(Sign On San Diego) Hero Nation's oldest MOH recipient celebrates 100th birthday. Tells Death to stay off his lawn  (www3.signonsandiego.com) (86)
(News.com.au) Obvious Men find thin, seductive women most attractive. In other news, Atlantic Ocean found to contain vast amount of water  (news.com.au) (652)
(NBC Action News) Scary Three people stabbed in bowling alley melee, but all were spared. Five turkeys taken into custody before they split, claim they were framed. Police trying to decide which one to pin it on  (nbcactionnews.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Sad Sad News: Mother describes the loss of her 9 year old daughter to H1N1 Flu. Hero: She encourages everybody not to panic and refuses to blame public health officials, doctors or her child's school despite prodding from reporters  (wgrz.com) (91)
(BBC) Silly Britain's weather office issues heatwave alert as temperatures look to hit a sweltering 86°F. Rest of world scratches its collective head, asks "SRSLY?"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (284)
(The Sun) Spiffy Artist wins £20,000 grant - to look at women's butts: "The project is taking on the issues around the bottom and how it is viewed in contemporary culture and viewed by the male"  (thesun.co.uk) (132)
(BBC) Stupid Sighting of party balloons spots massive search and rescue effort  (news.bbc.co.uk) (24)
(Fox News) Interesting Brigham Young joins 21st century, lifts campus-wide block on YouTube  (foxnews.com) (113)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Nanny state bans coffee mornings at public library because somebody might spill hot coffee on the children. At least they're thinking of the children  (dailymail.co.uk) (72)
(US129) Photoshop Photoshop this biker  (i307.photobucket.com) (62)
(Ohio.com) Interesting Most smokers have decided to quit smoking when the cigarette taxes went up. Not the guy in this article  (ohio.com) (144)
(WBBM) Dumbass Who can take a rainbow, ink it on your thigh, give you a dandy tramp-stamp to show off to all the guys, the Tatoo Man can, the Tatoo Man can 'cause he's goin' door to door to make the kids look good  (wbbm780.com) (91)
(MSN) Interesting Protip: Don't go to porn sites at your in-laws' house on every visit. Bonus- AOL can change your account password withour your permission because your wife asks to  (lifestyle.msn.com) (179)
(Cracked) Amusing Five pathetic groups that people think rule the world  (cracked.com) (260)
(Andy Dufresne) Followup I have to remind myself that some birds aren't meant to be caged  (wgme.com) (57)
(Fox News) NewsFlash KABOOM - Billy Mays dead at 50  (foxnews.com) (π)
(UPI) Hero RIP Badass Doctor -- Dr. Jerri Nielse, stationed in Antarctica in 1999, diagnosed her own breast cancer, performed her own biopsy, and administered chemotherapy drugs dropped to her by parachute  (upi.com) (68)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Strange Not news: Man has to be rescued from stuck elevator. Still not news: For the second time in weeks. Really still not news: "He had a bicycle with him." Fark: That's it  (lep.co.uk) (24)
(redding.com) Sad Shasta County teen birth rate hits four-year high because so many kids are doing the McNasty without protection  (redding.com) (104)
(Yahoo) Obvious US to stop targeting opium growers in Afghanistan, since it wasn't working. Still targeting marijuana growers in US because we can take their houses  (news.yahoo.com) (92)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting A chicken in every pot? The recession has lead to the rise of urban farming  (baltimoresun.com) (117)
(Buffalo News) Asinine And now a word from our class valedictorian. All 18 of them  (buffalonews.com) (200)
(Telegraph) Spiffy 10-year-old girl wins World Worm Charming Championships; no word on how much spice was used. In related news, there are World Worm Charming Championships  (telegraph.co.uk) (62)
(CNN) Scary Iran seizes embassy workers. This is not a repeat from 1979  (cnn.com) (311)
(CBS 2 Lost Angeles) Strange Headache? Perhaps you got shot in the eyebrow from a mile away  (cbs2.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Obvious Midgets hold 52nd annual national conference in New York City. You submitted this with a shorter headline  (sundayherald.com) (60)
(Some Green Room) Photoshop Photoshop this cute coquette  (img-fotki.yandex.ru) (19)
(Bakersfield.com) Spiffy Woman has given 25 gallons of blood during period lasting 90 years  (bakersfield.com) (67)
(Some Guy) Weird If you want your canoe back meet me with 30 cans of beer. You will receive a call in the next few days with more details. Remember, no cops  (redding.com) (31)
(KSL.com) Hero Man stops drunk driver at intersection by hopping out of his car, opening the drunk's passenger door, removing the keys, removing the man out of the car, and holding him on the sidewalk until police arrived  (ksl.com) (79)
(Daily Express) Interesting NASA discovers lost tapes of the first moon landing  (express.co.uk) (247)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fixing a downed powerline with a chainsaw is probably not a good idea  (cbsatlanta.com) (25)
(SFGate) Dumbass Getting the tattoo of your ex's name blacked out may make your new girlfriend happy, but it won't stop your ex from recognizing it in the surveillance video and turning you in  (sfgate.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Scary Meet the winner of the 2009 World's Ugliest Purebred contest (warning - she's a real dog)  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)

Sat June 27, 2009
(The Register) Scary Not news: Dog bites man. News: Man bites dog. Fark: Man & dog fall through airport floor into lagoon of excrement  (theregister.co.uk) (74)
(Some Guy) Followup PK arrested  (iran.whyweprotest.net) (868)
(Yahoo) Stupid 13 things a person who makes minimum wage carrying plates of food 30 feet feels entitled to whine about  (shine.yahoo.com) (740)
(SF Scope) Ironic TSA goes full Kafka, detains man for comic book script about who gets wrongfully harassed by the government for writing fiction about terror attacks that come true  (sfscope.com) (203)
(YouTube) Cool A few Iranian protesters protect a large group of cornered riot police from more angry protesters. "We are all Iranian"  (youtube.com) (145)
(Reuters) Spiffy Shanghai high-rise rolls over onto its side and takes a nap  (in.reuters.com) (157)
(Some Guy) Interesting United States Postal Service to close up to 3,200 post offices. Pretty soon, there's gonna be no one left to go postal  (articles.moneycentral.msn.com) (121)
(Des Moines Register) Strange You know you've got too much time on your hands when you spend three days stalking a 79-pound carp with a bow and arrow  (desmoinesregister.com) (61)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop a skunk, a monk, and a trunk  (images.google.com) (22)
(TC Record Eagle) Sappy What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who cuts himself shaving? (w/pic)  (record-eagle.com) (107)
(C|Net) Cool Photo tour of Cheyenne Mountain, home to NORAD, Strategic Command, Space Command, Stargate Command, and the WOPR  (news.cnet.com) (91)
(Independent) Amusing Paris Match award for student journalism goes to hoax intentionally packed with clichés, lampooning of voyeurism, gullibility of the press  (independent.co.uk) (36)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida After a fan makes a comment about steroids use to him, Phillies pitcher does the logical thing and attacks him in a fit of a roid rage. "How about you get me some juice?"  (tampabay.com) (60)
(London Times) Silly Police pin purported pie prank plot perp. Poorly prosecuted perp presently prevailing plaintiff  (business.timesonline.co.uk) (39)
(St. Petersburg Times) Hero Grumpy old amputee helps young boy who also had a leg amputated. Hero tag steps in for sappy tag, which has something in its eye  (tampabay.com) (69)
(The Pulse) Strange Tennessee legislature wants to allow gun-toting rednecks access to bars and public parks. Surprisingly, at least one cop doesn't seem to have a problem with this  (chattanoogapulse.com) (185)
(The Union Leader) Amusing Local police turn to Twitter to help collar a serial litterbug. Twitter- is there anything it can't do?  (unionleader.com) (64)
(The Pulse) Sappy Ugly-ass baby macaroni penguin born at the Tennessee Aquarium  (chattanoogapulse.com) (32)
(Pringles) Amusing The best banner ad in the history of the Internet  (awardshome.com) (271)
(Yahoo) Interesting Where all the White Anglo-Saxon Protestants at? Damn you multiculturalism, damn you to hell  (fe22.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com) (287)
(Cambridge News) Strange Not News: Rival salsa bars open side-by-side. News: A defection, then criminal charges of "improperly licensed dancing." Fark: The other bar's manager is the prosecuting attorney. Then it gets weird  (cambridge-news.co.uk) (38)
(Telegraph) Interesting New study finds women "happiest at 28" as it marks the short time between them losing the self-doubt of youth and the beginning of the time when they can hold a weeks' worth of rain in their face  (telegraph.co.uk) (155)
(Some Guy) Amusing The 10 strangest things lost in the mail, including dead animals, car doors, artificial limbs and traffic lights. No wonder your mailman is about to snap  (timesbusiness.typepad.com) (34)
(Washington Post) Ironic Man fired after posting things like "thank goodness my boss is making things easy, he told me to pretend to do work" to his Twitter account  (washingtonpost.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Sad As if we haven't heard enough bad news Walter Cronkite's family says "He's not expected to recuperate"  (gabbybabble.celebuzz.com) (110)
(Telegraph) Strange England is running out of eels to make their traditional eel pie. Have they thought to look in the hovercrafts?  (telegraph.co.uk) (39)
(Some Guys) Photoshop Photoshop these paddle pals  (s.wsj.net) (31)
(News.com.au) Sad Puppy missing after carjacking, arrest warrant issued for Toonces  (news.com.au) (13)
(MSNBC) Cool The world's coolest castles. Yeah, it's a slide show, but it's about castles  (msnbc.msn.com) (113)
(Charleston Daily Mail) PSA If a stranger asks if you want to smell his weed, just be polite and smell his weed  (dailymail.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Pelham middle school teacher meets horny 15 yr-old online, thinks taking her virginity will be easy as 1 2 3  T-Shirt  (lohud.com) (135)
(Stuff) Strange Just the old familiar story of boy meets girl, boy marries girl, boy gets into knife fight with girl after wedding ceremony, girl gets restraining order against boy, boy spends wedding night in homeless shelter  (stuff.co.nz) (26)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass "Ummmm... S-U-S-S-E-X E-Y-E-C... H-O-L-Y C-R-A-P"  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(Daily Mail) Cool Not news: 2 week old kitten undergoes emergency surgery. News: kitten defies all odds and survives. Fark: at just 6 weeks of age, Tripod the kitteh is ready for a new home in just time for Caturday  (dailymail.co.uk) (413)
(LGT Pic) Photoshop Photoshop this sumo wrestler  (imgur.com) (22)
(AJC) Unlikely "A former mayor found sitting naked and holding a beer at a Rabun County campsite told police he wasn't the same naked man seen walking around earlier."  (ajc.com) (53)
(ABC Action News) Florida Woman arrested for her 7th DUI. That's one for each decade she's been alive. (w/ mugshot goodness)  (abcactionnews.com) (41)
(CBC) Interesting Let me be brief: the homeless need your underwear  (cbc.ca) (49)
(ABC News) Scary Duke sucks  (abcnews.go.com) (258)
(Reuters) Florida Man riding bus announces Michael Jackson died. Driver chimes in saying he should have been in jail, passenger declares that he was a musical talent, someone else gets pissed and then the knife comes out  (in.reuters.com) (174)
(MSNBC) Unlikely Boston hospitals promise better accessibility for the disabled by installing forklifts, cattle scales and x-ray machines large enough for a whale  (msnbc.msn.com) (89)

Fri June 26, 2009
(Experience Project) Amusing 10 ways to know your cute dog is pretty ugly  (experienceproject.com) (370)
(Page2Live.com) Florida Accountant claims to be guardian of Jacko's son Blanket  (page2live.com) (72)
(some ferret) Hero Charges filed against WHO and Baxter among others concerning a case of exploding "swine flu" vials meant for a research lab. Fark: ....on a busy IC train in Switzerland  (naturalnews.com) (67)
(The Morning Call) Strange Bank teller recognizes customer as the same guy who exposed himself to her outside a Starbucks. Awkwaaaaaaaaaard  (mcall.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy The Army sniffer dog who swallowed a Taliban bomb... and SURVIVED. Your dog does not want an IED  (dailymail.co.uk) (61)
(Wordpress) Photoshop Photoshop this blow-up cow on Gourmet Street  (travelswithmb.files.wordpress.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Asinine Oregon legislature votes to change the meaning of the words yes and no  (ktvz.com) (135)
(CBS Minneapolis) Fail "...packed up their chickens, a sewing machine and 20 pounds of potatoes and hauled their boat to Minneapolis" pretty much tells you all you need to know  (wcco.com) (59)
(Washington Times) Followup Obama to Ahmadinejad: Suck it  (washingtontimes.com) (467)
(Wordpress) Followup Ethiopian patriarch watches Raiders of the Lost Ark, says ark cannot be shown after all  (barthsnotes.wordpress.com) (107)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Interesting City beefing up police presence for Taste of Chicago, expected to skewer anybody who plays chicken with them  (suntimes.com) (32)
(Internet News) Amusing Mozilla Firefox to Google Chrome : You Suck because you don't respect user privacy  (internetnews.com) (169)
(AOL) Scary Portion of 1990's deaths that were alcohol related: Worldwide 4%. In Russia, 52%  (news.aol.com) (64)
(Some Guy) Fail Man drowns while mowing his lawn. Wait what?  (ketv.com) (48)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Highlight of Florida barflies' day is gathering around the laptop to view mugshots of latest bookees into county jail. "I see lots of my former students on it. Five in one day - that's my record"  (palmbeachpost.com) (48)
(tallahassee.com) Dumbass As safe as banks are, you probably don't want to include cocaine and marijuana in the deposit canister to the teller at the drive-through  (tallahassee.com) (38)
(CBC) Amusing Two drunk drivers, same car, different times, same night. Only in Newfoundland  (cbc.ca) (44)
(Reuters) Scary Sri Lankan astrologer arrested for unfavorable political prediction  (in.reuters.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Asinine A Russian luxury yacht company is now offering pirate-hunting trips that promise the chance to be attacked by real pirates for $5000. It's $17.50 a day extra for an AK-47 and 100 rounds of ammo  (asylum.com) (166)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing You'll be red-faced when this weekend's Smoking Gun mugshot roundup catches you red-handed  (thesmokinggun.com) (233)
(Omaha World Herald) Dumbass If you're going to run your car into a woman talking to your boyfriend, make sure she's actually flirting with him and not just exchanging insurance information after a fender bender  (omaha.com) (143)
(Wall Street Journal) Dumbass Blagojevich: I'll trade you one sub-par applicant for five sub-par graduates. UofI Law School: OK  (blogs.wsj.com) (64)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Why women go for nerdy guys. "I think it's about time someone came to their defense in the great, misunderstood world of relationships"  (divinecaroline.com) (725)
(Sign On San Diego) Weird Mexico misplaces entire island. Frozen Donkey Wheel unavailable for comment  (www3.signonsandiego.com) (65)
(News Democrat) Misc It happens sometimes. Boats just explode. Natural causes  (newsdemocrat.com) (80)
(Charlotte) Dumbass Dentist charged with growing pot. It's like pullin' teeth to get some good weed around here  (charlotteobserver.com) (59)
(Some Clueless Couple) Weird Miss Redneck, in the trailer, with the Cheetos  (jhnbrssndn.tumblr.com) (99)
(Canoe) Strange Man arrested for decryption of jewelry  (lfpress.ca) (37)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Normal nicotine fit - yelling at your wife. Fark nicotine fit - driving a lawn tractor into your home and threatening to tear the house down with your wife inside  (mcall.com) (150)
(Daily Mail) Strange Problem: Your country has lots of elephants, and not enough pandas. Solution: Paint  (dailymail.co.uk) (95)
(MSNBC) Interesting Generation X psychology suffered a crippling one-two punch with the deaths of Farrah Fawcett, Michael Jackson on the same day. "These people were on our lunchboxes. This is the moment when Generation X realizes they're grown up"  (msnbc.msn.com) (1072)
(Some Guy) Asinine Fox News gets okay to misinform public, court ruling. I know it's not news, but this one is worth repeating  (ceasespin.org) (503)
(BBC) Silly "In one experiment, the Canadians had dressed sheep and goats in two layers of battledress material and positioned them in trenches"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (123)
(Some Can Man) Spiffy Things you can do with an empty can. Obvious: weed pipe. Not so obvious: awesome long-exposure pinhole camera  (asu.cas.cz) (98)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing It's time once again for Friday Photo Fun from the TSG bunch. Match the mug with the profession. Contest ends at 4pm Eastern  (thesmokinggun.com) (129)
(WBBM) Spiffy Indiana seeing an explosion in the turkey population and in the number of hunters trying to kill them  (wbbm780.com) (48)
(Canoe) Strange Nothing is more refreshing after a workout at the local fitness club than an ice cold can of Diet Opossum  (cnews.canoe.ca) (53)
(Some Guy) Strange Naked man wielding knife takes a stroll through Danish engineering company, then plows his car into a bus. Tå-dåh  (politiken.dk) (33)
(Fosters.com) Obvious Small fire could have been a big fire had it not been put out, claims Fire Chief Wellduh  (fosters.com) (32)
(The Local (Germany)) Scary You can now add "because it might blow up" to "because it has a crack leaking toxic waste" to the list of problems the Germans are having with storing nuclear waste in their Asse  (thelocal.de) (85)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Scary Not content with having five of the most dangerous neighborhoods in the US, Chicago polishes its 2016 Olympic credentials by finishing gold and silver in US infection rates for Gonorrhea and Chlamydia  (suntimes.com) (194)
(Wired) Cool The coolest Spanish street art you'll see this morning  (wired.co.uk) (69)
(Fox News) Interesting "There are few better places to celebrate the United States and its Independence Day than London." Wait, what?  (foxnews.com) (122)
(TC Palm) Florida Manager fired for sexually harassing a mermaid  (tcpalm.com) (88)
(Ashes to Ashes) Photoshop Photoshop this smoke amongst the cinders  (s.wsj.net) (35)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this peppy parade participant  (inapcache.boston.com) (39)
(The Onion) Satire Twitter creator dismayed to discover that his invention is useful  (theonion.com) (84)
(WBBM) Stupid Mom of a 555 pound teenager is charged with neglect, held on $50,000 bail. That'll help the kid lose weight  (wbbm780.com) (477)
(Some Bored Scientists) Asinine After three years of study, University of Calgary researchers determine that coyotes eat small mammals, plants and berries. Still no cure for spending government money on useless research  (ucalgary.ca) (98)

Thu June 25, 2009
(C|Net) Spiffy Where's the pic of Sanford's lover? "I'm far more disappointed that the users of Fark couldn't find a picture. Those guys are crafty"  (news.cnet.com) (208)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man chases guy home pointing a 20-gauge shotgun at him and yelling, "I am going to kill you." Sheriff's deputy: He wasn't really gonna kill him  (nwfdailynews.com) (64)
(UPI) Spiffy Moran announces 10th annual 'Take Your Dog to Work Day' is tomorrow  (upi.com) (145)
(AP) Hero Congratulations, Ned Miller of Oconto, Nebraska. You are the one MILLIONTH swine flu victim in the USA  (hosted.ap.org) (92)
(The Raw Story) Hero McCain wants to launch Predator drones to circle Iran and provide wifi for the protestors  (rawstory.com) (807)
(UPI) Interesting Hey, nice marmot  (upi.com) (77)
(BBC) Interesting All those frogs being born with missing or deformed limbs that raised fears about pollution and UV rays? Yeah, about that  (news.bbc.co.uk) (155)
(Stuff) Dumbass French rugby Bastar'd surrenders information that it was a coffee table, not 5 polynesian thugs  (stuff.co.nz) (23)
(Religious Dispatches .org) Obvious "Progressive believers demonstrate that faith and reason can coexist peacefully in modern societies; that is something the New Atheists do not want to admit."  (religiondispatches.org) (648)
(Victorville Daily Press) Strange Finally, a happy story about the bad economy; woman saved from kidnapper by her debt collector  (vvdailypress.com) (32)
(Omaha World Herald) Weird If you've been leaving cans of piss in a parking lot in downtown York, Nebraska, I think urine trouble  (journalstar.com) (71)
(Kansas.com) Stupid If you're a bail bondsman that is involved in a chase and you hit another car, run over the driver of that car, flee the scene, get arrested and let the person you were chasing get away; you may want to consider changing careers  (kansas.com) (29)
(CNN) Asinine Officials say subway crashes like the one that occurred in Washington, DC are impossible in other cities, despite their safety systems being identical. You're just going to have to trust them on this one  (cnn.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Dumbass This isn't 'Nam, this is golf. There are rules  (myespn.go.com) (67)
(The Onion) Followup Neverland Ranch investigators discover corpse of real Michael Jackson  (theonion.com) (201)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this white lily  (flickr.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Scary 40 years ago Arkansas prisons were a "dark and evil world," with inmates carrying sawed-off shotguns and guards carrying devices to shock prisoner's genitals. Today, things are pretty much the same  (officer.com) (40)
(TMZ) NewsFlash Michael Jackson starts plans for Thriller 2  (tmz.com) (3857)
(TBO) Florida Grandmother forced to sell bottled water on a street corner to help raise her grandchildren. "Just feeding them is expensive. They like pizza and the good stuff."  (www2.tbo.com) (53)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Scary 20 counties in Kentucky have their wood quarantined after finding out their ash has been bored  (nky.cincinnati.com) (29)
(Merced Sun-Star) Obvious Prisoner escapes bars, ball and chain  (mercedsunstar.com) (12)
(Economist) Scary Boeing execs: "Sure we can deliver the Dreamliner on time, as long as you don't mind weakness where the wing meets the fuselage."  (economist.com) (60)
(WBBM) NewsFlash Michael Jackson apparently rushed to the hospital and it's not for plastic surgery  (wbbm780.com) (800)
(WBBM) Unlikely Ameircan journalist jailed in NorKo says confinement is 'bearable'. Compared to what ?  (wbbm780.com) (75)
(SLTrib) Strange If the cops pull you over on suspicion of driving drunk, you're not helping your case by telling them you come from the planet Alpha Omega. "Tonight I started getting my binge on."  (sltrib.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Scary Ceiling landlord is watching you...all the time  (centredaily.com) (223)
(Some Guy) Strange "According to the police report, the man did not appear to be carrying any ice cream."  (madison.com) (31)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida "It's unclear how running over a plastic bag would cause a [car] fire."  (tampabay.com) (82)
(NJ.com) Sad Farrah Fawcett off to see the angels  (nj.com) (544)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Former IBM CEO says short-term gains should be taxed at 80%, and 5-year+ gains should be taxed at 0%  (bloomberg.com) (372)
(Some Guy) Silly "Anybody can work in paint or clay, but it takes a real artist to work in potatoes"  (wbaltv.com) (79)
(BBC) Interesting Commander of US forces in Afghanistan warns that they will need to change from conventional warfare to protecting Afghani civilians. Shift happens  (news.bbc.co.uk) (148)
(Boston Globe) Scary The weather started getting rough, the tiny town was tossed. If not for the courage of the mayor and citizens, Chatham would be lost  (boston.com) (84)
(Stuff) Amusing "We have a problem with wallabies entering poppy fields, getting as high as a kite and going around in circles"  (stuff.co.nz) (94)
(NPR) Spiffy Let's review your favorite sex scandals of yesteryear  (npr.org) (131)
(CBS Baltimore) Spiffy State performs random gas inspections, everyone hopes they pass  (wjz.com) (60)
(WBBM) Strange Fishnet stockings, bustier, and heels are not a good workout attire, particularly if you are a man  (wbbm780.com) (71)
(BBC) Strange Male workers bring sex discrimination lawsuit over not being paid the same wages as other male workers in completely different jobs. And win  (news.bbc.co.uk) (145)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption these campers as they look up at...something  (benz-arpsc.org) (94)
(BBC) Strange London Underground to begin quoting random philosophy to travellers to make their journeys "more thought provoking". Instead, only try to realise the truth. There is no gap  (news.bbc.co.uk) (90)
(Some Guy) Stupid "Clever" burglar remembers to spraypaint the camera  (bulapictures.com) (61)
(woodtv) Fail If you're going to burglarize someplace, take the loot and go home. Don't report the crime, especially if you're still bleeding from the broken glass. And whatever you do, DON'T give a description of the suspect that you match  (woodtv.com) (30)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Is it hot enough for ya?  (images.google.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Unlikely The Ark of the Covenant will be unveiled on Friday. Indiana Jones unimpressed, Nazis fearful  (wnd.com) (369)
(Some Guy) Asinine What kind of cold evil bastard would falsify and commit perjury about lab test results in a death penalty trial? Ahh, Chu  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (81)
(BBC) Scary Stealing guns and mobile phones in Somalia? That'll be a hand and a foot, sir. Just be glad you didn't nab a Wii  (news.bbc.co.uk) (82)
(TSP) Asinine Not news: A low cost computer upgrade to upload files could save the city $9 million. Fark: They were using fire trucks to hand deliver the files before  (thestarpress.com) (88)
(LA Times) Interesting Acquittals of three men involved in murder of Russian journalist Anna Politkovskaya revoked, possibly to be putin jail as scapegoats for the mysteriously unknown culprit  (latimes.com) (24)
(Some Bunkie) Spiffy Family lets teacher move in with them while she's having man trouble. She repays family by giving their son, 12, material for best Penthouse Letter EVAR. (w. pic)  (dumbassdaily.com) (345)
(YouTube) Stupid Gay rights activists unhappy with church's exorcism of teen's "homosexual demons." The power of Christian Dior compels you  T-Shirt  (youtube.com) (132)
(Telegraph) Strange Two months and thousands of pounds later and the official verdict is in: Canterbury is "sufficiently gay"  (telegraph.co.uk) (49)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Mother of kid who police refers to as "one-boy wave of terror" says he just got a bit of "Oppositional Defiant Disorder"  (dailymail.co.uk) (250)
(Canoe) Obvious Federal Minister Rob Nicholson said he was worried the UN report would send the message that "Canada is a good place in which to do this business. "We have to send the exact opposite message"  (winnipegsun.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Florida Calling to request a police escort to see rapper Lil' Wayne is not a good use of 911 resources  (news4jax.com) (41)
(Mercury News) Strange Although it may be hard to swallow, teen accused of robin 53 baby birds from area nests and raising them in his bedroom. Claims the operation wasn't cheep  (mercurynews.com) (59)
(Yahoo) Weird Sleeping walking is bad. Urinating while sleeping walking is worse. Getting stabbed while urinating while sleepwalking is Fark.com  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(AOL) Florida Con man jumps bail to marry wife number 5, a convicted sex offender. This wouldn't be a problem had he not neglected to divorce his first four wives  (news.aol.com) (23)
(The Sun) Sad Britain: Come for the crappy weather, stay for the cocaine  (thesun.co.uk) (40)
(Yahoo) Obvious Citigroup to raise salaries by up to 50% in an attempt to dodge legislation imposing caps on bonuses. EVERYBODY PUNDIT  (finance.yahoo.com) (135)
(WBBM) Cool 19 and 20 year old strippers take Atlanta to court over law that keeps them from dancing in bars. There is a deeply important legal issue at stake here, and the girls look great in their 'cross examine me' pumps  (wbbm780.com) (350)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this Gotthard Base Tunnel breakthrough  (spiegel.de) (43)
(WBBM) Dumbass Hackers messing around with others websites now have romantic name: 'hacktivists'. Eventually they will be recognized for what they are: 'asshativists'  (wbbm780.com) (54)
(BBC) Sad I'm extiiiiinct / I'm EXTIIIIIINCT / Suck my DIIIIICK / I'M EXTIIIIIINCT  (news.bbc.co.uk) (210)
(Some Guy) Interesting The 25 most dangerous neighborhoods in the US. If you guessed "Chicago" you're right...five times  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (275)
(News.com.au) Followup Farrah Fawcett given last rites  (theaustralian.news.com.au) (258)
(Breitbart.com) Amusing Britain replaces U.S. as Iran's "Great Satan." Will be nearly as fat, but twice as argumentative  (breitbart.com) (125)
(CNN) Unlikely Iran's supreme leader calls for tolerance toward protesters that have not yet been arrested, shot, or beaten  T-Shirt  (edition.cnn.com) (624)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 216: "Homeless Images, Free to a Good PS'er." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (175)

Wed June 24, 2009
(CNN) Interesting Obama "seriously considering" sending message to brutal Iranian regime by not extending any new invitations to Iranian diplomats for July 4 celebrations overseas. Invitations already sent will not be rescinded; that would be tacky  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (109)
(Some Guido) Scary N.J. officials baffled as populations drops. Rumors of BonJovi concert unfounded  (mycentraljersey.com) (45)
(Gawker) Silly MSNBC is becoming an audio-visual Urban Dictionary  (gawker.com) (41)
(Sky News) Dumbass Body building fitness instructor starts eating junk food as part of an experiment and is now hooked. With before and fatty pic  (news.sky.com) (94)
(Philly) Followup Sean Hannity's old friend Hal Turner gets arrested for urging people to kill federal judges. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?  (philly.com) (215)
(News.com.au) Followup Astronut Lisa Nowak's trial to move forward following appeal and diaper change, to remain released on own incontinence  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (32)
(Salon) Ironic In order to keep citizens indoors and off the streets, Iranian authorities showing "Lord of the Rings" trilogy on state-run television  (salon.com) (139)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Zimbabwean newspaper prints billboards using real money, since it's actually cheaper than buying paper  (guardian.co.uk) (56)
(London Times) Followup Silvio Berlusconi's TV stations fail to cover Silvio Berlusconi's sex romps with young women for some damn reason or other  (timesonline.co.uk) (29)
(Some Guy) Obvious PayPal survey reveals the reason why the majority of people abandon their online shopping carts is when they find out about the rip-off shipping charges during checkout  (newswire.ca) (141)
(Gawker) Followup Governor Sanford's amusing attempts at seduction of his mistress via email. [email excerpt goodness]  (gawker.com) (206)
(AP) Amusing Fed up with kids playing in the cul-de-sac near his house, Pennsylvania man blares porn to chase them off. "...neighbors told police they could hear the sexually explicit audio a block and a half away."  (hosted.ap.org) (68)
(KSAT) Interesting Man in custody refuses to identify himself. Subby hereby summons the power of FARK  (ksat.com) (150)
(McLatchyDC) Interesting Notice something was unusual about Mark Sanford's apology presser but couldn't quite place your finger on it? Unlike the usual such event, his wife *wasn't* standing next to him; she kicked him out two weeks ago  (mcclatchydc.com) (141)
(Some Chick) Dumbass Drinking 13 beers before showing up for your psychological evaluation to gain custody of your three kids isn't wise, despite your claims that you weren't drunk because you "can drink like a fish."  (4029tv.com) (39)
(Guardian.com) Sad Wednesday bloody Wednesday (Iranian Discussion thread)  (guardian.co.uk) (¼)
(Reason Magazine) Interesting British artist sets out to build a toaster from scratch, inadvertently proves the wonders of capitalism  (reason.com) (188)
(New York Daily News) Amusing Monkey urinates on Zambia's president. German production companies in bidding war over movie rights  (nydailynews.com) (35)
(dcist) Ironic DC Mayor's conservation corps spreads litter throughout DC neighborhoods. In related news, authorities are advising residents stay the hell away from the Mayor's anti-violence task force  (dcist.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tripod trek  (s.wsj.net) (26)
(WWSB ABC 7) Obvious Scientists release Burmese pythons in SC pond to see if they'll spread like wildfire as in Florida. What could possibly go wrong?  (mysuncoast.com) (64)
(Some vet) Asinine Military doesn't like the stories The Stars and Stripes publish, cancel embed in Iraq. Edward Murrow reportedly spinning in his grave, but there's no one to confirm that  (armyofdude.blogspot.com) (61)
(Cracked) Amusing The 13 most unintentionally disturbing children's toys  (cracked.com) (198)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing You call it "corn", my people call it "a great place to hide a marijuana crop"  (thelocal.de) (56)
(Komo) Obvious Driver crashes into liquor store. Investigators believe alcohol was involved  (komonews.com) (18)
(The Local (Sweden)) Followup Swedish women win right to not have to GTFO at public pools. With bonus disturbing quote: "it's not unusual for men to have large breasts that resemble women's breasts"  (thelocal.se) (133)
(Some Guy) Interesting Girl who does not age intrigues doctors, Dick Clark  (chattahbox.com) (99)
(Washington Post) Silly In the wake of the fatal DC Metro crash, some train riders are sticking to the middle cars. Obviously, Metro should remove the first and last cars to improve safety and save money  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (27)
(LA Times) Strange An Idaho couple are charging $86 for single occupancy, $92 for double occupancy, and an extra $8 for each additional guest. All of this is to sleep in "the world's biggest beagle". Is there a radiation leak in Idaho?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (23)
(Cracked) Amusing If everyday life was directed by Michael Bay  (cracked.com) (91)
(Some Chick) Spiffy On this date 500 years ago Henry VIII was crowned King of England and totally had all the chicks  (reflector.com) (92)
(Boing Boing) Silly Get to your funeral in environmental style with a Prius hearse (pic)  (boingboing.net) (38)
(Kansas City) Hero TSA defends America from a canister of pickled mangoes  (kansascity.com) (53)
(Pixelated Geek) Amusing The King wants to put seven inches of thick meaty goodness in your mouth, special sauce?  (pixelatedgeek.com) (87)
(ABC News) Stupid Celebrity long legs slideshow. It's not news, It's... ABC  (abcnews.go.com) (78)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Not enough money to pay the hooker? Try Cheetos  (thesmokinggun.com) (94)
(Central Florida News 13) Florida Fast Food Spilled Coffee Lawsuit Part 2: Electric Boogaloo  (cfnews13.com) (229)
(ABC Action News) Florida Please remember to separate your dead cats from the recyclables  (abcactionnews.com) (33)
(Free Press) Interesting Audit finds 257 "ghost employees" in Detroit Public Schools. No wonder the kids test poorly; they're scared shiatless  (freep.com) (111)
(Canoe) PSA Breastfeeding While Intoxicated is apparently illegal, which totally throws submitter's weekend plans out the window  (cnews.canoe.ca) (72)
(CNN) PSA This just in: rich and famous people get better health care than everyone else  (cnn.com) (146)
(SFGate) Strange When two homeless men are discussing quantum physics, the only logical outcome is for one of them to smack the other guy with a skateboard  (sfgate.com) (86)
(The New York Times) Obvious Things are looking up for Republicans, another GOP presidential hopeful admits affair with A WOMAN. Two years ago he'd have been farking a Dominican pool boy  (thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com) (540)
(The Earth Times) Strange Fake fertilizer producers discovered in Vietnam. No shiat  (earthtimes.org) (21)
(NYPost) Sad Mugging victim gets 15 years to life to ponder how he was mugged by Lady Justice  (nypost.com) (190)
(CNN iReport) Amusing This just in: Side effects of prolonged exposure to health-care reform rhetoric may include electile dysfunction, esophageal bloviation and Irritable Pundit Syndrome  (ireport.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Strange There are better ways to try and sell magazines than by putting your hands on top of your head, gyrating your hips, and yelling "Woo"  (madison.com) (82)
(Google) Unlikely Persian rug store perpetually "going out of business" actually going out of business. For real this time, we swear. Great liquidation deals. Selling below cost. You're running out of time  (feedproxy.google.com) (85)
(BBC) Interesting Researchers find evolution in warmer climates occurs faster, giving birth to the "Florida Paradox"  T-Shirt  (news.bbc.co.uk) (65)
(The Morning Call) Weird Man's 2,500-gallon pond disappears while he goes for a walk: "I don't get it. Somebody just doesn't like me, and I don't know who"  (mcall.com) (87)
(The Local (Sweden)) Stupid "Daddy, should I go to the boys restroom or the girls?" "Yes."  (thelocal.se) (363)
(NYPost) Dumbass (1) Swipe a pizza deliveryman's car for a joyride, (2) repeatedly circle the block, (3) flip your victim the bird each time you pass, (4) fail to notice your victim calling 9-1-1 on his cell phone, (5) Honorable mention on Fark  (nypost.com) (86)
(WPRI) Stupid "Hello, room service? This is room 105. I'd like a half-eaten Big Mac, a bottle of Cisco Grape, and a six-pack of crack"  (wpri.com) (84)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Like a gnat on an elephant's ass, North Korea threatens to wipe the US off the map  (news.yahoo.com) (600)
(Some tear gasser) Interesting Can you tell which pics are of LA "celebrating" the Lakers victory and which ones are Iranian citizens protesting a phony election result?  (societyofdave.com) (106)
(SMH) Dumbass When the police take your licence away from you, that generally means they don't want you getting back in the car and driving off  (smh.com.au) (44)
(Some Guy) Fail Wal-Mart pharmacy promotion gives kids free candy in prescription bottles  (sbynews.blogspot.com) (208)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this laptop lady  (tieto.com) (37)
(IndyStar) Stupid Text messaging leads to stabbing. Finally  (indystar.com) (143)
(Stuff) Strange French village on alert after several sightings of a crocodile in their pond. Locals are concerned that, being French, it could strike at any time  (stuff.co.nz) (29)
(Some Guy) Hero Homeless girl who went to 12 schools in 12 years is accepted to Harvard  (gnn.com) (254)
(WSPA.com) Followup "Did I say I was hiking the Appalachian Trail? I meant to say I was in Argentina"  (wspa.com) (1053)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Good news, the global recession has almost hit bottom. Of course, economists have been so right about this whole recession thing so far, surely this must be true  (news.yahoo.com) (104)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you are chased down and captured by a group of Lutheran soccer moms, maybe armed robbery isn't your thing  (theoutlookonline.com) (77)
(bnd.com) Dumbass Drunk East St. Louis man accidentally holds his own Burning Van festival  (bnd.com) (37)
(News.com.au) Asinine Construction workers blame nearby nude beach for the delay in building progress, hard-hat fatigue  (news.com.au) (66)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Behold, the funniest mugshot you'll see today  (dailymail.co.uk) (137)
(CNN) Dumbass Students with master's degrees in liberal arts and $80,000 in loans get a bailout  (cnn.com) (493)
(BBC) Strange Leading cancer expert calls for world cities to be "more like Bogota", conveniently ignoring that the reason people don't get much cancer in Bogota is because they get shot first  (news.bbc.co.uk) (25)
(Google) Weird ♫ Hello ma baby, hello ma honey, hello my monsoon gal... ♫  (google.com) (58)
(Some Guy) Interesting Truck carrying a load of pigs overturns on interstate, witnesses report multiple cases of swine flew  T-Shirt  (fox16.com) (48)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Weird You can keep your deep-fried Twinkies, I'll have the frozen popcorn on a stick  (suntimes.com) (45)
(CBS 4 Denver) Stupid If you're the man who took a city steamroller for a joyride and damaged two cars, the Boulder police would like to have a word with you  (cbs4denver.com) (34)
(BBC) Scary Welsh school Ysgol Glan Clwyd closed for two weeks due to large numbers of rats in kitchens, excessive vowels in alphabet soup  (news.bbc.co.uk) (29)
(Yahoo) Amusing *BZZZZZT* (about 3 hours ago from tub)  (ca.tech.yahoo.com) (183)
(Some Grumpy Old Man) Scary Gang of geriatric Germans lays Zimmer frame smackdown and torture session on financial adviser over $4m of missing "black money"  (weinterrupt.com) (68)
(Darwin gets five) Strange Truck-full of people drives into shallow water, inexplicably stay in the truck. With the tailpipe submerged. And the engine running. And the windows rolled up. "If they'd have gotten out, they could have probably walked out."  (wfaa.com) (161)
(The Local (Sweden)) Interesting Naked Swedish police investigation has happy ending  (thelocal.se) (22)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this Quadruple Bypass Burger  (s.wsj.net) (41)
(Associated Baptist Press) Sad Southern Baptist Convention votes to expel Fort Worth congregation because they don't hate teh ghey enough  (abpnews.com) (673)
(Reuters) Amusing Naked thief steals french fries from Wendy's drive-thru window, leaves hungry customer with just the buns  (reuters.com) (28)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this dreadlocked dog  (spiegel.de) (42)
(Some Sprawl) Stupid Frisco, Texas, the fastest growing city in the nation, comprised of 50 square miles of retail space, mile after mile of tract homes, and generic apartments, is worried that a new Wal-Mart will spoil the city's character  (wfaa.com) (189)
(CBC) Obvious Being overweight will make you live longer  (cbc.ca) (89)
(Reuters) Obvious Being overweight will give you cancer  (reuters.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Followup This week's media fearmongering special: Your subway cars will kill you  (wbaltv.com) (40)
(Daily Mail) Obvious When boarding a plane and the debarking passengers are "kissing the ground and putting their hands together like they were praying," you may want to reconsider and take the bus  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)
(Some Drunk Redneck) Asinine Deputy takes mom to concert, vomits on concertgoers, refuses to leave, watches as mom gets into altercation with police officers. In Deputy's defense, Kenny Chesney is enough to make anyone puke  (grandforksherald.com) (50)

Tue June 23, 2009
(Some Guy) Photoshop In honor of Tetris's 25th birthday, photoshop some less popular Soviet videogames from the 1980s  (mnweekly.ru) (74)
(WZVN) Florida Woman's homeowner insurance cancelled because neighbor child cracked window with golf ball. See why they have to stay off our lawns?  (abc-7.com) (78)
(CBS New York) Followup Bernie Madoff's lawyer sends letter to judge saying his client needs only 12 years to sit back and think about what a bad boy he was  (wcbstv.com) (121)
(Some Alien Guy) Unlikely News: Britain Releases UFO Files. More News: Canada releases UFO files. Fark: Poland loses UFO files  (avimoas.com) (65)
(BBC) Ironic Predator drone kills 45 at a funeral for predator drone victims, sets new high score  (news.bbc.co.uk) (496)
(MassLive) Sad 40,000 pounds of beer spilled on Vermont highway. Subby doesn't remember the conversion for pounds-to-gallons either  (masslive.com) (111)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this game of Paille Maille  (s.wsj.net) (33)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass This arrest is brought to you by the makers of Coinstar  (mcall.com) (101)
(WBBM) Weird If you saw a guy with a gas can and matches lighting 17 cars on fire on the west side of Chicago this morning, the Chicago Police would like a word with you  (wbbm780.com) (52)
(Washington Post) Followup You'll never guess what needed a brake inspection  (washingtonpost.com) (152)
(NW Florida Daily News) Weird Neither rain nor sleet nor dark of night will deter the postal service from opening your package of Oxycodone and rubbers  (nwfdailynews.com) (40)
(LA Times) Interesting Profile of the man who gave us Hillary Duff, Mylie Cyrus, the Jonas Brothers and other "tween" sensations, and why nobody has yet beaten him like an Iranian policeman on a protestor  (latimes.com) (175)
(13WHAM) Amusing When has a truckload of crap and a wild turkey not provided hilarious consequences?  (13wham.com) (33)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Woman amasses $60k in credit card debt, plans to just keep spending until she gets big enough for a federal bailout (with "you're nearly there" bonus pic)  (msnbc.msn.com) (478)
(Nola.com) Silly "Can your bakery fill an order for 180 loaves of wheat bread by tomorrow? And no preservatives, they make the elephants puke." Wait, what?  (nola.com) (45)
(CBS Sacramento) Stupid How do you reduce the number of deer in a residential area? By letting the 12-year-olds free with bows and shotguns, of course  (cbs13.com) (142)
(Some Guy) Dumbass The Ku Klux Klan is trying to bring in members by distributing flyers in Northeast Tennessee. Unfortunately, most of the recruitment messages are distributed in a predominantly black neighborhood. Will this work?  (tricities.com) (467)
(Google) Interesting Poles urge 'final solution' for Hitler tree  (google.com) (116)
(News.com.au) Amusing All it takes to get a HAZMAT team deployed to the suburbs these days in a yellow nuke symbol on the side of an old PC  (theaustralian.news.com.au) (118)
(Poynter) PSA The Poynter Institute had Drew do a live chat yesterday on Fark, Iran, and cat circumcision. Hit play on the landing page to read the transcript  (poynter.org) (61)
(Great Falls Tribune) Dumbass If strangers say no when you offer to share some pot, ask them for burnout tips as you drive in lazy circles and count off your laps. Then abandon your running car and tell the cops you're "drunk as hell" when they arrive  (greatfallstribune.com) (48)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Asinine World Record rollercoaster shut down after one (1) complaint. This is why we can't have nice things  (news.cincinnati.com) (232)
(Guardian.com) Hero UK: "Oh yeah? Well fark you too, then" (Iranian Discussion XLIV)  (guardian.co.uk) (2055)
(MSNBC) Florida Man quite happy after being busted for slashing ex's tires and stabbing her dad in the neck (with satisfied mugshot)  (msnbc.msn.com) (65)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Apparently being named "Chicago Police Officer of the Year" does not give you carte blanche to beat up a police chief. Who would have thunk?  (suntimes.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Interesting Man hosts homemade flamethrower parties. Surprisingly authorities have a problem with this  (post-gazette.com) (110)
(Baltimore Sun) Scary When Baltimore says 'no cell phones while driving' they really mean it  (baltimoresun.com) (136)
(Some Guy) Interesting CDC data shows HIV infection rates greater in the South but at least it stays within the same family  T-Shirt  (wbaltv.com) (201)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you pass out drunk and your friends stuff you in the luggage compartment of a commercial bus it might be time to get new friends  (ydr.inyork.com) (81)
(Statesman) Amusing When robbing an illegal gaming room, take a quick look around to make sure the police aren't in the middle of serving a search warrant. Texas tag seen trying on different wardrobes for its impending debut  (statesman.com) (100)
(Some Guy) Ironic Firefighters accidentally set fire to their own station  (honoluluadvertiser.com) (93)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this melon merchant  (spiegel.de) (39)
(Google) Followup Those black boxes from Flight 447 we said we found? Just kidding  (google.com) (61)
(Yahoo) Misc Somali Pirates release cargo ship in desperate bid to remain relevant and newsworthy  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(National Post) Fail Toronto can't find a picture of a multiracial family for the cover of "FUN" magazine, so they photoshop in a black guy. Poorly  (network.nationalpost.com) (458)
(Metro) Amusing The next time you're buying candy for your kid's 6th birthday, make sure you don't pick the stuff which says, "would you like a blowjob?" on it, because it's not nice to get his hopes up like that  (metro.co.uk) (35)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Township supervisor found unconscious on the floor of the municipal building with a half-empty bottle of Jack Daniel's nearby. Supervisors see no problem with him continuing to serve on the board  (mcall.com) (45)
(NJ.com) Spiffy House bill 2984 would give immunity to mariners who wound or kill pirates  (nj.com) (134)
(Washington Post) Interesting Study to be released with suggestions on how to stop prison rape. "Don't commit a crime, you dumbass" not included  (washingtonpost.com) (248)
(Some Guy) Dumbass 21 year old man plays GTA4 live action, robbing two banks without a gun and then getting 30 pounds of pot mailed to the local post office before timer runs out. High score  (bangordailynews.com) (37)
(CNN) Interesting French president says burkas not welcome in France, hard to know if women wearing them are worth flirting with  (edition.cnn.com) (282)
(Some Guy) Interesting Baby boomers quitting Facebook. Perhaps it has something to do with everyone else on it being 20 years younger  (switched.com) (120)
(BBC) Strange Today's Fark-ready story: One-legged chicken returns to horseback riding  (news.bbc.co.uk) (19)
(ABC News) NewsFlash Ed McMahon dies at 86. He is survived as Cash4Gold pitchman by MC Hammer  (abcnews.go.com) (272)
(Dallas Observer) Asinine Not news: Man takes photos at airport, winds up face down in handcuffs on the tarmac. News: He was taking pictures of a WWII vintage B24 Liberator. Pilot: "It's the USA, not the USSR -- I didn't fight to protect this shiat"  (blogs.dallasobserver.com) (181)
(Stuff) Strange New Zealand trucker spills 13 tonnes of milk all over the highway, cries about it  (stuff.co.nz) (20)
(BBC) Interesting Rehearsing the end of the World: Britain's War Book  (news.bbc.co.uk) (21)
(KRCG) Amusing Jewish summer camp shut down due to outbreak of the Swine Flu. Something doesn't seem Kosher about this  (connectmidmissouri.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Spiffy 9 yeard old boy claims "Man vs. Wild" helped him survive a night along in the wildnerness. Guess he had a camera crew and behind the scenes survival experts there to help him cope  (news.yahoo.com) (141)
(And Finally) Sappy If this isn't the cutest critter you've ever seen, I'll find you and stuff candy floss down your throat until you can't breathe  (andfinally.tv) (141)
(News.com.au) Amusing "Victorian man diagnosed with swine flu dies." ZOMG IT CAN TIME TRAVEL111  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (65)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this executive kayaker  (cribstonebridge.com) (27)
(JSOnline) Amusing Wisconsin man pulled over on the highway for DUI. It's not clear what gave him away...it was either the bloodshot eyes, slurred speech, eight empty beer cans, or the golf cart he was driving  (jsonline.com) (94)
(AP) Cool National Pinball Hall of Fame to relocate closer to Las Vegas Strip, making it easier to capture tourists, have them rattle around exhibits, then flip them right onto Las Vegas Boulevard  (ktnv.com) (130)

Mon June 22, 2009
(Roanoke Times) Hero Shifty Powers, World War II sniper made famous for his portrayal in the HBO miniseries Band of Brothers, has died at age 86  (roanoke.com) (317)
(WBBM) Dumbass If a cop car is blocking your car, you a) call 911 b) key the cop car c) swear like a drunk stand up comic at them. Feel free to mix and match  (wbbm780.com) (62)
(Some Pervert) Amusing "You need to arrest my husband. He's a pervert"  (sheboyganpress.com) (173)
(Reason Magazine) Obvious 2002 California revenue: $1.1 trillion; 2007 revenue: almost $2 trillion, an 81% increase. Prices, population rose 19%. Had state increased spending in accord with population, inflation, they could afford all programs, half-trillion tax cut  (reason.com) (333)
(Reuters) NewsFlash Washington DC subway crash kills 6, injures 70  (reuters.com) (445)
(Stuff) Obvious Man unsure how he ended up nude in a clothes dryer  (stuff.co.nz) (63)
(Saginaw News) Dumbass Man uses screwdriver to dislodge bullet from rifle. What could possibly go wrong?  (mlive.com) (66)
(USA Today) Interesting More Nixon tapes released. Says he's just trying to catch up with Tupac, Biggie, and Elvis  (usatoday.com) (69)
(SILive) Fail Good news. NYC four-year high school graduation rate reaches whopping 56.4%  (silive.com) (192)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this defiant display  (s.wsj.net) (31)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida If you're about to make a drug deal but you pull up and see the other guy talking to the cops, just keep driving, man  (orlandosentinel.com) (58)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you're a TV weatherman and you feel like harassing your co-host via email, there's a 73% percent chance that posing as a sex offender isn't going to help  (1410wizm.com) (68)
(My Fox DC) Unlikely And then officer, the 14 year old girl conned us into letting her dance at our strip club  (myfoxdc.com) (213)
(AV Herald) Scary Lightning bolt blows off chunk of jet's wing in midair (w/pic)  (avherald.com) (107)
(LA Times) Asinine Iran to create new court to try protestors. Unsure what to call it after suggestion of "You're Lucky We Didn't Shoot Your Democratic Arse Court" is rejected  (latimes.com) (202)
(LA Times) Stupid Triple amputee Iraq veteran outrageously denied donated, volunteer-built house, for the nitpicking, trifling technicality that he already owns two houses  (latimes.com) (174)
(Canoe) Sad On the upside, only one passenger died on the latest Air France trans-Atlantic flight  (cnews.canoe.ca) (73)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Today, seventy-seven members of Congress urged President Obama to issue an immediate moratorium on further gay discharges. This issue, which has already affected many seamen, could snowball even further if no action is taken  T-Shirt  (huffingtonpost.com) (298)
(Yahoo) Scary Underground transformer explodes in DC suburb, Michael Bay wanted for questioning  (news.yahoo.com) (51)
(Live Science) Scary You know that cat you just let drink out of your beer glass? Well, It just gave you MRSA. EVERYBODY PANIC  (livescience.com) (148)
(lehighvalleylive) Asinine What do you do to a 7-year-old boy who actually likes going to the library? Revoke his library card on a technicality  (lehighvalleylive.com) (210)
(The Post and Courier) Spiffy Three dogs added to TSA staff in effort to increase communication skills, mean intelligence  T-Shirt  (postandcourier.com) (50)
(Oswestry Advertizer) Silly Ice cream 'offensive' to war dead, says council  (bordercountiesadvertizer.co.uk) (131)
(Bloomberg) Stupid Government to pay farmers to slaughter cows because the price of milk is too low; taxpayers smell the dairy air  (bloomberg.com) (222)
(Drew) FarkBlog Drew's interview about Iran and the disputed re-election of President Ahmatotaldouchebag. Also, some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 6/14 - 6/20  (fark.com) (128)
(intershame.com) Asinine Sexual assault victim? Aww, too bad. Get to class  (intershame.com) (125)
(My Fox DC) Scary Best way to watch a street race - next to the cars along side of the road. Worst way to watch a street race - from underneath the car in the middle of the highway  (myfoxdc.com) (65)
(Rochester D&C) Sad Please don't taaaaake my Kodachrome away  (democratandchronicle.com) (196)
(LA Times) Asinine Jack Bauer thinks that spy cameras in Lancaster, PA are great because "There's nothing wrong with instilling fear"  (latimes.com) (182)
(Seattle Times) Asinine Washington state congressman earmarks $250k for his private club. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (79)
(My Fox DC) Spiffy When you're not making any progress in your hunt for a job just turn the whole thing into a tour of the nation's major league ball parks  (myfoxdc.com) (27)
(The Tennessean) Sad Right to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness...and cockfights (w/pic of true American)  (tennessean.com) (155)
(Poynter) Spiffy Drew's live chat with Poynter Online about Fark, social media, and breaking news like the Iran election crisis  (poynter.org) (126)
(My Fox DC) Cool Best video of an 8th grader doing a somersault with a basketball and nailing a full court shot you'll see all day  (myfoxdc.com) (129)
(Washington Post) Asinine "We may inadvertently do good," says Gawker Media founder Nick Denton. "We may inadvertently commit journalism. That is not the institutional intention."  (washingtonpost.com) (33)
(CBC) Obvious The Leafs aren't the only thing that stinks in Toronto as garbage collection is halted due to a stike by city workers  (cbc.ca) (109)
(AF.mil) Photoshop Photoshop this shark bait  (af.mil) (27)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing It's not a huge bunny - "Bruno" a.k.a. Borat a.k.a. Ali G. takes Berlin in knit 'naked' suit  (thelocal.de) (163)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy The popular revolution in Iran is now creating a rift between clerics, making some of them side with the protesters (This discussion is XL, but still looks like it it's XXXII)  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (½)
(UPI) Dumbass Missouri City loses time capsule just in time for its 50th anniversary celebration  (upi.com) (48)
(The Register) Fail Bolivian television channel airs "exclusive photos" of the break up of Air France flight 447, courtesy of Lost  (theregister.co.uk) (69)
(Metro) Strange Is your regular brand of toilet paper just not soft enough for you? Well, why not try a badger?  (metro.co.uk) (36)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass Man sets off 18 bug bombs...cockroaches survive...apartment building does not  (cbs13.com) (60)
(Telegraph) Strange Starting in July, anyone buying a horse in Britain will have to sign a pledge guaranteeing that they're not going to eat it  (telegraph.co.uk) (117)
(WBBM) Cool President Obama, US-First-Smoker-in Chief, signs a new bill that will make it tougher for you to give yourself cancer  (wbbm780.com) (245)
(Newsday) Asinine Two all beef patties, special tax, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun  (newsday.com) (135)
(Jackson Hole News and Guide) Amusing "Well you see officer, I was riding my motorcycle when this this big damn sheep came out of nowhere"  (jacksonholenews.com) (67)
(News.com.au) Amusing Store clerk helpfully points out to robber that to successfully conduct a hold-up, you need a weapon  (news.com.au) (28)
(BBC) Ironic Video of Basij militia fleeing Tehran protesters. Worked for Han & Chewie  (bbc.co.uk) (288)
(New Zealand Herald) Interesting New Zealand lawmakers are looking for cheaper ways to house their prisoners. Apparently they don't realize how close to Australia they are  T-Shirt  (nzherald.co.nz) (62)
(Salon) Ironic More women are turning to sex work in a bad economy, because it beats working at McDonald's.....Would you like fries with that BJ?  (salon.com) (429)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this hazmat team  (af.mil) (26)
(Buffalo News) Amusing News: Neo-Nazis successfully petition to adopt a highway. Fark: They'll be cleaning the Rabbi Abraham Joshua Heschel highway  (buffalonews.com) (221)
(NJ.com) Spiffy Bottlenose dolphin repeatedly approaches boaters at the Jersey Shore. The friendly swimmer is easily identified by the "56" branded on its dorsal fin and fake tan  (nj.com) (81)
(News.com.au) Scary Take two painkillers and call me in the morning. If your spinal cord hasn't been severed in the meantime, that is  (themercury.com.au) (67)
(Some Guy) Strange Cows walk five miles from Massachusetts to New Hampshire, presumably to save on sales tax  (wmur.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Interesting Is valedictorian and salutatorian an honor or unnecessary competition that makes some precious snowflakes feel bad?  (ydr.inyork.com) (264)

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