If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun July 05, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Quad City Times) Stupid Deceased veteran's estate - worth around 70k - billed $277,186.96 in VA fees  (qctimes.com) (300)
(Huffington Post) Fail If you happen to know the whereabouts of some moon photos, Lincoln's Civil War telegrams, several presidential pardons and a hard drive with classified information, the National Archives would like a word with you  (huffingtonpost.com) (83)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Flirting with disaster  (fark.com) (60)
(Some Guy) Amusing Fort Lauderdale residents complain of militant atheism on the march; billboard in question reads "Being a good person doesn't require God. Don't believe in God? You're not alone"  (wsvn.com) (874)
(CBS Sacramento) Unlikely Prison Guard finds $10,000, turns in the $5000 to police, they are still looking for the owner of the $500  (cbs13.com) (60)
(Fox News) PSA In your 50s? Worried about the recent deaths of people in their 50s? Besides getting your AARP membership (yup, 50 is the qualifier), here's some more tips to help you make it to your 60s, also known as the "stay of my lawn" stage  (foxnews.com) (105)
(SMH) Interesting See if you can tell which images have been faked in this story about snopes.com  (smh.com.au) (168)
(Washington Post) Followup Washington Post publisher worried that paper's plan to sell its access to power brokers might have caused readers to doubt paper's independence, integrity  (washingtonpost.com) (50)
(Local6) Florida Walt Disney World monorails collide head-on, one killed. Unfortunately it wasn't the bastard who decided to close the 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea ride  (clickorlando.com) (275)
(Des Moines Register) Interesting Cop fired for posting sexually suggestive photos on her MySpace page. "Your naked buttocks are showing."  (desmoinesregister.com) (92)
(AJC) Stupid Local mom wants a law requiring all teen drivers have a "Caution - Newly Licensed" magnet on their cars, never get laid  (ajc.com) (173)
(ChennaOnline) Fail Guy tries to go fishing with dynamite, winds up getting real chummy with the fish  T-Shirt  (news.chennaionline.com) (49)
(TechRepublic) Amusing "President of the Internet" voting goes on until July 11. Leo Laporte gets Drew's vote  (blogs.techrepublic.com.com) (133)
(3 News New Zealand) Sappy Ugly-ass baby panda goes on display at Thai zoo. It looks delicious  (3news.co.nz) (15)
(MSNBC) Obvious Ric Romero reports that "jobless consumers will hold back recovery." It's not news, it's MSNBC  (msnbc.msn.com) (77)
(Canada.com) Asinine Librarians at Canada's National Library have raised their voices after being told to quit buying books. "You just can't stop preserving history"  (ottawacitizen.com) (33)
(Spike) Amusing As if Sid and Marty Krofft's work wasn't weird enough, take a trip to McDonaldland  (spike.com) (78)
(MSNBC) Cool A list of North America's sexiest beaches. All of them would like people who look like you to just stay home. Thanks  (msnbc.msn.com) (73)
(UPI) Scary Bomb goes off at gas pipeline in Canada, for the second time in four days and the sixth time in nine months. It's just a hunch, but I think there might be a problem up north  (upi.com) (88)
(Newsday) Followup 1st person allowed back into the Statue of Liberty is white, and her name is an anagram for "Let Aryan Back In." She's 8, the same # of years since 9/11 and she can only see 4 points on the crown... same # of points on a swastika  (newsday.com) (171)
(Some Chick) Spiffy Maggie, a 13 year-old blind poodle, was rescued from a storm drain and returned to her owner. At least that's what they told her  (wcax.com) (14)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Production of Kid Rock's "American Badass Beer" starts today. "You grab it, you share it with your friends, it's refreshing, it's cold, it gives you a good buzz. Done."  (mlive.com) (76)
(News.com.au) Interesting Australian wine prices driven lower than bottled water prices. Life is good  (news.com.au) (43)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this rugged race  (s.wsj.net) (27)
(Fox News) Unlikely Afghanistan as a major tourist destination? The tag says it all  (foxnews.com) (41)
(WBBM) Unlikely If you've been getting unemployment in Indiana, and haven't put on your really, truly bestest effort to find a job, you are in for the surprise of your unemployed life  (wbbm780.com) (133)
(History Channel) Spiffy 63 years ago today, the bikini was introduced  (history.com) (608)
(Yahoo) Amusing Sarah Palin has apparently hired someone with a GED in Law, threatens to sue bloggers for defamation  (fe3.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com) (720)
(Daily Mail) Interesting If you have a beer belly, blame your dad, not all the beer you've been drinking since you were 14  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(Yahoo) Followup Stock up on your popcorn and drinks. Things about to get all revolution-y in Honduras later today  (news.yahoo.com) (109)
(Some Crack Addict) Fail Biatch set him up - again  (nbcwashington.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these grenades  (af.mil) (42)
(BBC) Amusing Australian navy may discharge seaman after discovering naval sex games  (news.bbc.co.uk) (55)
(ABC News) Unlikely "Dating, rather than being considered as expensive, can be a thrilling and inexpensive distraction. Like getting drunk without the wallet-hit or hangover"  (abcnews.go.com) (176)
(JSOnline) Dumbass Aww look at those cute little ducks- WHOA :SMASH SMASH SMASH:  (jsonline.com) (132)
(Daily Mail) Fail If you're about to start a new job as head of a major government security agency, you might just want to double check what your wife is putting on facebook  (dailymail.co.uk) (90)

Sat July 04, 2009
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this lady in Lucite™  (flickr.com) (37)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Good news for chronic pain patients. The FDA is about to solve your little addiction problem for you  (consumerist.com) (323)
(AJC) Dumbass Eleven arrested for stealing $10,000 in high end jeans. No word yet how Abercrombie & Fitch noticed just three pairs missing before end of the month inventory  (ajc.com) (109)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy Fremont zombie walk: Guiness Book of Records must verify pulse, appetite for brains of participants, before determining if record was broken. Picture gallery  (seattlepi.com) (73)
(News.com.au) Sick You see an overturned produce truck. Do you a) call the police, b) render assistance, or c) hey, free produce  (news.com.au) (94)
(News.com.au) Scary To discourage smoking, Australia plans to make all cigarette wrapping generic, ban all advertising and sponsoring, charge $20 for a pack of 30 smokes, and require them all to be Foster's-flavored  (news.com.au) (136)
(WBBM) Unlikely If you're on trial for sexual assault, should you get a new trial just because one of the jurors is hitting on your hot sister?  (wbbm780.com) (52)
(YouTube) Amusing Required annual Fourth of July viewing: Muppets performing "Stars and Stripes Forever"  (youtube.com) (56)
(WTVF News Channel 5) NewsFlash Nashville TV station reporting former NFL quarterback Steve McNair killed in apparent double murder  (newschannel5.com) (834)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Shine on, you crazy diamond: Texas brewery turns 100  (finance.yahoo.com) (170)
(WBBM) Cool Congratulations to a 38 year old man from Indiana, you are the 2,000,000th criminal suspect booked by Cook County, Illinois  (wbbm780.com) (34)
(Some Chick) Obvious Michael Jackson's memorial will be in Los Angeles on Tuesday and of course the Westboro Baptist Church will be there. This should be interesting  (laist.com) (207)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Marriage: causes crazy in middle age, prevents crazy in old age. Here comes the science  (dailymail.co.uk) (20)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop the Father of the United States  (learnnc.org) (91)
(WBBM) Cool Bank error in your favor, collect $90,000  (wbbm780.com) (38)
(The Register Citizen) Followup In a surprising turn of events, the teenage girl and her friends that beat up that fella for humpin' her mom may have been a setup. In other news, Ric Romero will be reporting on todays incredably blue sky, and wet water  (registercitizen.com) (36)
(Globe and Mail) Obvious "After the pain of childbirth and the need to talk about our feelings, cellulite is the most common curse known to womankind"  (theglobeandmail.com) (67)
(Spiegel) Stupid Communism divides East Germans. This is not a repeat from 1961  (spiegel.de) (97)
(I-Mockery) Cool In celebration of July 4th, here's a look at the updated underappreciated art of firecracker labels gallery  (i-mockery.com) (30)
(Fox News) Unlikely Remember that guy who ran for president of Iran against Ahmadinejad, and all the people were angry and rioted that he didn't win? Turns out he was a U.S. agent  (foxnews.com) (118)
(NPR) Amusing "Zombies: Still undead, and suddenly everywhere." It's not news... it's NPR?  (npr.org) (83)
(Thomas Jefferson) Hero "We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness."  (earlyamerica.com) (472)
(The Earth Times) Dumbass German bar owner imprisoned for drinking contest that killed a 16-year-old. Bonus: The boy had 45 shots of tequila while the bar owner cheated by pouring himself water  (earthtimes.org) (77)
(The Newspaper) Ironic Photo radar ends in Livingston Parish after ticket camera van keeps getting ticketed and towed for breaking the law  (thenewspaper.com) (51)
(The Morning Call) Interesting The Statue of Liberty's crown will open today for the first time since 9/11. However the torch will remain closed as it has been since 1916 when German saboteurs attacked a N.J. pier  (mcall.com) (51)
(LA Times) Obvious Why July 2 is actually Independence Day. Not that historical inaccuracy has ever stopped Americans from getting drunk and bragging about themselves  (latimes.com) (120)
(Fox News) Cool Joey Chestnut or Takeru Kobayashi? Or perhaps a dark horse. It's your Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest thread  (foxnews.com) (91)
(Some Guy) Interesting 19 yr old female motorist is cut off. Does she? C: Ram the other car with her auto. Throw a milkshake at them then drag the passenger from car by her hair and beat her down in front of her husband and 2 children?  (nhregister.com) (145)
(Fox News) Asinine Prisoner No. 1727-054 has hired a consultant to help find the best prison to serve 150 years in. In other news, there's a consultant for everything  (foxnews.com) (88)
(NPR) Spiffy How to make the perfect burger. And people thought NPR was all about tofu and sprouts  (npr.org) (77)
(The Tennessean) Cool A rare look on how a Netflix office runs (with video)  (tennessean.com) (100)
(ABC News) Amusing If you've ever wanted to laugh at the misfortune of others completely guilt free, have we got the perfect story for you  (abcnews.go.com) (41)
(Some Guy) Obvious Why Tennessee's law allowing guns in bars doesn't go far enough: "The real question here is Americans' right to kill others in a setting of their choice"  (opednews.com) (52)
(NASA) Cool Awesome starry night over Mt. Rushmore  (apod.nasa.gov) (38)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Not news: Guy arrested for stuffing bologna down his pants. Fark: For the 120th time  (tampabay.com) (25)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Desert-lobster dispute turns pair into sagebrush heroes  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (23)
(National Post) Interesting "Jowi Taylor set out in 1995 to create an object more quintessentially Canadian than hockey, Tim Hortons donuts, insulin, the CN Tower or Lake Louise. Eleven years later, he was able to hold it in his hands"  (nationalpost.com) (24)
(Cracked) Scary Six national anthems that are farking scary  (cracked.com) (82)
(Redbalcony) Interesting Ok Farkettes, if you ever plan on getting a marriage proposal, do NOT watch this video as it will seem bland in comparison. You have been warned  (redbalcony.com) (303)
(BBC) Silly It's definitely not news; it's BBC  (news.bbc.co.uk) (47)
(Globe and Mail) Amusing Saskatchewan town proclaims itself 'Paris of the Prairies', builds Eiffel Tower to prove it. "I thought building a tower would be good challenge, so we started drawing it up based on some photos off the Internet"  (theglobeandmail.com) (37)
(Some American) Cool Philadelphia, MS, town the film "Mississippi Burning" was based on, swears in first African American mayor  (wlbt.com) (39)
(Flickr) Photoshop In Honor of America's Birthday and the French Revolution - Iron Photoshop Ingredients are Red, White and Blue  (farm3.static.flickr.com) (33)
(Stuff) Amusing Not enough dead celebrities? How about a ghost cat for Caturday, BOO scary  (stuff.co.nz) (375)
(News.com.au) Obvious No matter how long she's taking, don't leave your bride at the airport because she's been in the bathroom too long  (news.com.au) (49)
(My Fox DC) Silly Nothing says "Happy Birthday, America" like a 6-foot, 8-inch statue of Abraham Lincoln carved from a 1,000-pound block of cheddar cheese  (myfoxdc.com) (45)
(Benton County Daily Record) Strange Neighborhood hit with hail the size of nuts, bolts and marbles. Actually the hail is nuts, bolts and marbles  (nwanews.com) (36)
(WNEM.COM) Sappy Creampuffs and handcuffs, local cops buy and volunteer to run a doughnut shop to keep it from going out of business  (wnem.com) (30)
(London Times) Hero Ever wonder what happened to the hero chimps that went into space for NASA in the 1950's? Well they're living the high life, retired in Florida, of course  (timesonline.co.uk) (43)
(My Fox DC) Dumbass Lots of things build character in life. Like resolving fights on the playground, getting dumped by your girlfriend, and getting your head stuck in a storm drain. Wait, what?  (myfoxdc.com) (22)
(The Register Citizen) Scary This mugshot of the year candidate is brought to you by Torrington, CT, continuing its quest for the title of "The Florida of New England"  (registercitizen.com) (81)
(The Sun) Sad A downside of having all your bills paid by direct debit is that when you die in your house, no one will notice until 5 years later  (thesun.co.uk) (81)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Today's hittable teacher banging an underage male and getting away with it is brought to you by the letters O and C  (ocregister.com) (119)
(AZCentral) Strange Ring ring.... ring ring... banana coffin  (azcentral.com) (79)
(Yahoo) Interesting Mr. Atheist, come on down. You're the next convert on The Pious is Right  (news.yahoo.com) (330)

Fri July 03, 2009
(WFIE) Misc Police find 17 bags of coke in woman's buttcrack, are still searching for a second suspect. He's in there somewhere  (14wfie.com) (57)
(Boston Globe) Scary Police say there will be charges, but is it really a crime to enter through the exit door?  (boston.com) (73)
(AFP) Dumbass There are safer ways to remove weeds around your home than by using a flame thrower. Not as fun or effective, but safer  (news.yahoo.com) (74)
(Google) Scary South Carolina serial killer blamed for 4 deaths in the past week  (google.com) (155)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: It's a small world  (fark.com) (46)
(Record Courier) Amusing "Startled" kids in arcade get anti-drug lesson as police tase naked 19-year-old who thinks he's the Terminator  (recordcourier.com) (77)
(Seattle Times) Cool Warren Buffet gives 30% less this year, donates a paltry $1.25B to Gates Foundation  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (67)
(ABC News) Cool Tomorrow, the crown of the Statue of Liberty will be open to visitors for the first time since 9/11  (abcnews.go.com) (95)
(Metromix) Spiffy Great news, everyone - investigative reporting finds some strip clubs have pretty decent food  (baltimore.metromix.com) (93)
(BBC) Interesting Why athletes stick to their lucky underwear. Now, if only someone could explain why subby's lucky underwear sticks to him  (news.bbc.co.uk) (32)
(Jerusalem Post) Amusing "Is Facebook an Israeli plot to control the world?"  (jpost.com) (98)
(UPI) Obvious Calgary's divorce rate jumps 40 percent after the Calgary Stampede. "Thousands of beautiful men and women come out of the woodwork at Stampede and people look incredibly sexy when you put them in a cowboy hat"  (upi.com) (71)
(WAFB) Scary "Well, I guess this is a swamp, shark that lives in the swamp. You could call it a swamp shark."  (wafb.com) (59)
(MSNBC) Amusing Gold's Gym has named July "Cankle Awareness Month"  (msnbc.msn.com) (102)
(Telegraph) Weird Michael Jackson had asked Nadya Suleman about adopting the Octots to offer them a bright future and because "Blanket would love to have more siblings."  (telegraph.co.uk) (61)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Englishwoman dials emergency hotline to report missing hamster. Dispatcher suggests she call Top Gere instead  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)
(Pittsburgh Post-Gazette) Interesting Investigation into a massive Democratic fraud ring in Pennsylvania's legislature heats up as more than 100 subpoenas flutter through the air like a ticker-tape parade  (pittsburghlive.com) (86)
(The State) Interesting You think a holiday with your in-laws is uncomfortable, imagine being Gov. Mark Sanford (R-South Adulturerlina) this weekend  (thestate.com) (39)
(Guardian.com) Scary How to eat a giant African land snail. If you must  (guardian.co.uk) (55)
(JSOnline) Ironic Wisconsin commissions new symbol for state election agency, comes up with one that looks exactly like the anarchy symbol. "Irony is an overused word, but that's somewhat ironic in this case"  (jsonline.com) (52)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Mattress salesman refuses to take being laid off lying down, gets in pillow fight with boss. Except not with a pillow  (tampabay.com) (19)
(Canada.com) Stupid In Canada you can't be held criminally responsible for your actions if you're under 12, which is great news if you're a 9-year-old who wants to burn down an abandoned McDonald's  (edmontonjournal.com) (40)
(LA Times) Cool For the first time ever, North Korea airs a beer commercial, which notes that the beer "relieves stress and improves health and longevity," as all Farkers can attest  (latimes.com) (51)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine San Antonio SWAT have four hour standoff with empty house  (chron.com) (48)
(Boston Herald) Followup The shocking sequel to yesterday's story about former Turnpike employees not paying Turnpike tolls: former subway employees don't have to pay subway fares  (bostonherald.com) (22)
(Boston Globe) Dumbass Union president says its unfair to require all Boston police to abstain from illegal drugs just because of 15 bad apples  (boston.com) (34)
(Canada.com) Weird Hearing examines whether police officer's thyroid problem means he shouldn't be fired for misplacing evidence and not doing his job  (edmontonjournal.com) (18)
(National Post) Asinine Owner of Chinese buffet chain offers free meals to Canadians on Canada Day to show his gratitude to the country, is immediately accused of violating human rights of non-Canadians  (nationalpost.com) (64)
(Jacksonville Journal-Courier) Amusing You know it's a good party when your underwear ends up on a street sign  (myjournalcourier.com) (18)
(Reuters) Sad Kenyans furious that Barack Obama won't visit the country where he was born during his trip to Africa  (reuters.com) (188)
(LA Times) Followup Staples: you've got questions, we've got Michael Jackson's corpse on display next Tuesday  (latimes.com) (106)
(Some Art Critic) Dumbass No matter how you try to justify it as art, the police aren't going to be too impressed when your canvas is a $1600 plasma tv at Sears and your subject is your penis  (wcpo.com) (48)
(Philly) Strange Pennsylvania bill makes it illegal to implant a microchip into a human being without his or her consent. An amendment is being offered to prohibit alien anal probes as well  (philly.com) (115)
(CNN) Obvious Turns out that competitive eating leads to weight gain and clogged arteries. Huh. Whoda thunk it?  (cnn.com) (46)
(WBBM) Unlikely "Officer, I'd like to report a crime. I was having sex with two women in my pool and a neighbor was, can you believe it, watching"  (wbbm780.com) (83)
(WBBM) Unlikely Cabbie uses deodorant to disarm would-be robber  (wbbm780.com) (20)
(Boston Herald) Misc Was it wrong to wish I'd nailed Farrah on her deathbed? Should I not have done that?  (bostonherald.com) (62)
(My Fox DC) Hero 101 year old woman still delivering for Meals on Wheels after 28 years. FARK: Calls women in their 70's 'little old ladies'  (myfoxdc.com) (46)
(Denver Post) Sad When a fish snaps your pole and drags it into the frigid mountain water, just let it go, man, because it's gone  (denverpost.com) (37)
(Canoe) Dumbass It's nice to inform people you've recently had contact with that you may have swine flu, but you probably shouldn't do it in person  (edmontonsun.com) (16)
(News.com.au) Obvious Study claims often-disputed power of positive thinking is real, but actually makes things worse. Go cry, emo guy  (news.com.au) (79)
(The Register) Stupid The prosecution would now like to call anyone with access to the internet [citation needed]  (theregister.co.uk) (26)
(Gizmodo) Amusing I saw a (man)girdle  (gizmodo.com) (24)
(NYPost) Silly When reporting on tomorrow's annual Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest at Coney Island, you have to include every hot dog-related pun known to man. It's the law. Wieners  (nypost.com) (23)
(The New York Times) Spiffy Coolest history lesson on Thomas Jefferson you'll see all day  (kalman.blogs.nytimes.com) (66)
(Snopes) Sad Did you know the ACLU is suing to remove all cross shaped headstones from national cemetaries, to keep Navy Chaplains from mentioning Jesus to keep Marines from bowing their heads, and to force your daughters to use crescent shaped IUDs?  (snopes.com) (109)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Zoe's 15 minutes of fame  (photos.jpgmag.com) (33)
(Wired) Strange Kansas court issues protection order banning harassement via electromagnetic radiation beamed into plantiff's head. With bonus mind control / gang-stalking whackjob commenters  (wired.com) (28)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Misplaced period lands man in jail, rather than the more traditional marriage  T-Shirt  (dailymail.co.uk) (35)
(Daily Mail) Interesting One British child under the age of 12 needs hospital treatment every 48 hours for drinking too much. You'd think he'd have learned his lesson by now  T-Shirt  (dailymail.co.uk) (20)
(London Times) Strange Police union under fire for writing 102-word sentence in official document, much too difficult to read for a society dumbed down to think in tweets  (timesonline.co.uk) (43)
(Wired) Spiffy The $2.1M Bugatti Veyron 16.4 Grand Sport - the last King of the Gas Guzzlers ever to be made  (wired.com) (108)
(Reason Magazine) Interesting The costly truth about Canada's health care system  (reason.com) (577)
(WWL) Interesting New Orleans DA: If you have a gun in your car when you're arrested, we're keeping the gun, even if we drop the charges. ACLU: Not so fast, bub  (wwl.com) (131)
(Some Bloke) Interesting "The greatest pleasure I have ever known is when my eyes meet the eyes of a mate over the top of two foaming glasses of beer." Truer words have never been spoken, maaate  (theepochtimes.com) (33)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy News: Rare copy of US Declaration of Independence discovered in national archives. Fark: Of England  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(Some Guy) Obvious MySpace now a "digital ghetto"  (inquisitr.com) (211)
(Daily Mail) Strange Blind man sees wife for first time after having tooth implanted in his eye. Unfortunately, he also saw himself in the mirror. British dental care FTW  (dailymail.co.uk) (58)
(Orlando Sentinel) Ironic Boys with unpopular names such as Walter more likely to become criminals than boys with popular names. Reporter Walter Pacheco has the story  (orlandosentinel.com) (63)
(CNN) Cool Meet Juliane Koepcke, who nearly 40 years ago fell nearly two MILES without a parachute, survived alone in the rainforest for ten days, and barely had a scratch. TA-DA  (cnn.com) (48)
(Boston Globe) Weird Oregon woman obsessed with rabbits goes back to jail, proving once again that every bunny needs some bunny sometime  (boston.com) (21)
(AZCentral) Obvious Although it worked for Cinderella, if you're a thief, you should not leave your shoe behind at the scene of the crime  (azcentral.com) (6)
(Time) Interesting In celebration of the 4th of July Here's a brief history of OMGBBQ  (time.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Bottom line, if people behave properly and don't act like an animal, they won't get tased and end up in a cage"  (bradfordera.com) (53)
(NYPost) Dumbass You're upset that a nine-year-old girl had an argument with your daughter. Do you a) have them sit down and talk it out, b) speak to the girl's mother, or c) set her up for dates with middle-aged men on Craigslist?  (nypost.com) (54)
(LA Times) Spiffy Meet Sha-lei, the red panda born June 13 at an Edmonton zoo. With adorable pics  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (26)
(Denver Post) Cool Canine do it? You bet I can. A strong attitude helps a little 2 legged dog do anything it wants too  (denverpost.com) (36)
(WBBM) Fail FBI files reveal Saddam was scared shiat-less of Iran, so he made the whole thing up about having WMDs, and would have formed an alliance with the US. Ooooops  (wbbm780.com) (172)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what should be on the holodeck  (api.ning.com) (55)
(Some Ida-ho) Sick Brother and sister arrested and charged with felony incest. But, hey, who hasn't wanted to bang his hot sis...WHOA - KILL IT WITH FIRE  (idahostatesman.com) (182)
(BBC) Spiffy Guinness is offering drinkers the chance to win a trip into space. Towel not included  (news.bbc.co.uk) (55)
(LA Times) Scary As if six year olds getting diabetes wasn't bad enough, they are now getting schizophrenia  (latimes.com) (152)
(WGAL 8) Spiffy Hey guys, July 3rd. You know what that means. That's right, it's time to fight the Battle of Gettysburg all over again. Except this time, we're going to do it with embedded reporters  (wgal.com) (56)
(CNN) Weird If you're a federal judge, you might not want to put that video of a man "cavorting with a sexually aroused farm animal" up on your personal web site. Or those pics of a woman shaving her pubic hair either  (cnn.com) (58)
(AP) Dumbass Hortonville hottie humps a human ... 14-year-old boy. And gets impregnated by him. Again  (madison.com) (103)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Federal agents seize Bernie Madoff's penthouse and boot his wife out on her ass, refusing to let her take anything with her  (news.yahoo.com) (160)

Thu July 02, 2009
(Wired) Amusing You know you're a redneck when: C) Inspired by the recent movie UP, you take to the sky in a balloon-bouyed lawn chair  (wired.com) (67)
(News.com.au) Interesting Newly-discovered Australian dinosaur was bigger, faster and more terrifying than a velociraptor. So let's call it Banjo  (news.com.au) (106)
(Daily Mail) Obvious If you're over 55 you're having the time of your life, but spare a thought to those under 25 who are cleaning your toilet - if they're lucky  (dailymail.co.uk) (219)
(The Tennessean) Amusing Two women make a smooth getaway with $1000 of stolen razors  (tennessean.com) (49)
(Yahoo) Strange "I love how it's not mushy like Play-Doh; it has an unyielding consistency and a good wide girth"  (shine.yahoo.com) (79)
(Philly) Dumbass Fortune teller convinces teenage girls that having sex with him will make wishes come true. Of course, he didn't say whose wishes  T-Shirt  (philly.com) (110)
(KCCI) Dumbass For the last time, when driving a car loaded with 60 pounds of hallucinogenic mushrooms, make absolutely certain to obey all traffic laws  (kcci.com) (54)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Local businessman punches out photographer for taking his picture at a strip club "because of his standing in the community." Ending up on Fark probably not what he had in mind  (nwfdailynews.com) (22)
(Shreveport Times) Fail 16-year old girl hears her mom scream and thinks she's being assaulted, so she and her friends come to her rescue with a baseball bat. Turns out mom was with her 25-year old boyfriend. Awkward  (shreveporttimes.com) (104)
(Some 1908 Bleriot XI) Photoshop Photoshop this airborne antique aircraft  (s.wsj.net) (46)
(Some Guy) Amusing Catching your estranged husband in a tryst and threatening to "whomp some ass" with a baseball bat may not be the most romantic way to woo him back. It'll also cost you $981  (billingsgazette.com) (18)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing The Friday Mugshot Roundup, one day early to allow holiday celebration goodness. Subby is proud to be an American  (thesmokinggun.com) (153)
(YouTube) Amusing Today's great moment in breakfast food marketing is brought to you by Hardee's  (youtube.com) (70)
(Philly) Unlikely Work begins to fix NJ Turnpike Bottleneck. This is not a repeat from 1951, 1952, 1956, 1966, 1968, 1970, 1982, 1990, 1998, 2004, 2007  (philly.com) (62)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Urine tester caught taking bribes. Authorities are pissed, say he's whizzed his life away. Suspect unsure how news of his corruption leaked  (chron.com) (52)
(Guardian.com) Followup Charges dropped in "pizza delivery driver helps rape victim case" due to the biatch being a liar  (guardian.co.uk) (76)
(TMZ) Dumbass Gary Coleman's short-tempered wife arrested for domestic battery, tells arresting officers that she has a small problem (with EEEK mugshot)  (tmz.com) (68)
(Some Guy) Scary A man carrying a sandwich was attacked by a black bear in his driveway. With pic of what it might look like if you got biatchslapped by a black bear for a sandwich  (kare11.com) (76)
(National Review) Asinine From the people who brought you The War on Christmas™ and The War on Easter™ comes this summer's blockbuster new sequel. Yep, you guessed it: It's The War on the 4th of July™. Here we go again.......AGAIN  (corner.nationalreview.com) (205)
(Denver Post) Asinine Cop arrested for beating his wife, even though it was in the contract  (denverpost.com) (58)
(The Consumerist) Interesting "Top 10 Ironic Ads From History", including such classics as Bayer Heroin and Dutch Boy lead paint  (consumerist.com) (94)
(The Morning Call) Fail Police said man made obscene calls to deaf for fun of it  (mcall.com) (58)
(AJC) Amusing Officer tasers Waffle House employee because it's fun to taser Waffle House employees  (ajc.com) (80)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing "She appeared to be bouncing up and down on the driver's lap in a very vigorous motion," police reported. With photo goodness  (thesmokinggun.com) (151)
(Politifact) Obvious "Back on June 27, 2008, PolitiFact published a story we hoped would put the whole Obama birth certificate controversy to rest. Oh, how naive we were."  (politifact.com) (696)
(New4Jax) Florida Man attacks realtor with hammer. Good Samaritan returns fire with paperweight. If only there was a tag to tell where this happened  (news4jax.com) (25)
(Free Republic) Strange Three-way sex leads to double-stabbing. At least the sex-to-stabbing ratio is still greater than 1  (freerepublic.com) (80)
(Daily Kos) Dumbass Man passes the bar exam on his 4th try. Bar examiners deny him a license because he hasn't made a single payment on his $400,000 student loans in 26 years  (dailykos.com) (195)
(ScienceBlogs) Unlikely New poll shows that Americans have as higher level of understanding of evolution than any other country in the world  (scienceblogs.com) (325)
(Boston Globe) Cool For those in the Northeast who read Fark: How to build an ark  (boston.com) (149)
(TC Palm) Florida Although chasing your girlfriend around with a machete while drinking a cold Keystone Ice may seem perfectly reasonable to you, it's still against the law. Even in Florida  (tcpalm.com) (68)
(CBS News) Dumbass Who shot Neda? Iran says doctor on the scene saw who did it, Interpol is seeking him. Interpol: "We're doing what?"  (cbsnews.com) (107)
(MSNBC) Asinine I cheated on my husband and destroyed my marriage. Obviously the problem is that I didn't have enough husbands, and a community of women to communally care for my children  (msnbc.msn.com) (495)
(MSNBC) Sad Since 1975, 274 children have died in this country because their parents thought prayer, not medicine, would cure them. God bless America  (msnbc.msn.com) (441)
(Some Guy) Amusing The evil Rupert Murdoch claims he's not interested in buying The New York Times, but we know better than than, don't we?  (poynter.org) (59)
(WBBM) Unlikely If you always wanted to spend your Fourth of July holiday at O'Hare Airport, you're in luck if you're flying United today  (wbbm780.com) (38)
(Some Bennie) Dumbass New Jersey man sees Wisconsin man's nine DUIs, raises him six more  (phillyburbs.com) (49)
(CBC) Weird CFL receiver in trouble after celebrating touchdown by pretending to be a dead Michael Jackson. "I made the mistake of telling him that once he got to the end zone I didn't care what he did," says coach  (cbc.ca) (190)
(Wall Street Journal) Amusing Ten people banned from visiting the UK, including Martha Stewart, Snoop Dogg, and some Brazilian tart with a suitcase full of sex toys  (online.wsj.com) (93)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these big brims  (s.wsj.net) (36)
(AJC) Interesting Strip club shooting suspect arrested in Atlanta, tries to post bail with ones  (ajc.com) (41)
(PennLive) Amusing In case you were wondering, a Porta John tipping is a news worthy event in Central Pennsylvaina  (pennlive.com) (119)
(Gainesville Sun) Unlikely Father of toddler crushed to death by his eight-foot Burmese python described as "a great dad"  (gainesville.com) (370)
(Chicago Sun-Times) PSA If you've stolen over 5,000 pounds of commercial grade fireworks, the Chicago police would like to celebrate the 4th of July with you  (suntimes.com) (43)
(Yahoo) Ironic People who are unsure of their own beliefs are less open minded. Suck it agnostics  (news.yahoo.com) (898)
(MSNBC) Scary Just in case you need another reason to be scared to go to the dentist  (msnbc.msn.com) (43)
(ABC News) Followup Flock of seagulls mourn after being hit by two short range missiles fired by North Korea today. Iran's so far away  (abcnews.go.com) (132)
(Telegram) Asinine Massachusetts ups greed level by charging $25 fee to plead not guilty to traffic tickets  (telegram.com) (235)
(Yahoo) Amusing Poll: 64 percent say too much Jackson coverage. The other 36 percent says that it's nice to hear 'Billie Jean' back on the radio  (news.yahoo.com) (220)
(UPI) Asinine Major heist thought to have occurred at Canadian mint, silly robbers no country south of the US has anything of value  (upi.com) (84)
(Google) Cool India decriminalises consensual gay sex. Sex with eight armed elephant gods still illegal  (google.com) (60)
(Boston Globe) Scary He likes his women like he likes his cheap whiskey: six years old and mixed with coke  (boston.com) (216)
(Denver Post) Misc 45-year-old Colorado mother accused of having sex with 16-year-old boy who also was part of a group that enjoys dressing up as animals. Then it gets weird  (denverpost.com) (88)
(Aint-It-Cool-News) Stupid Hollywood scrapes the bottom of the barrel and comes away with "Asteroids: The Movie." PEW, PEW, PEW  (aintitcool.com) (229)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Stress camp for kids helps the precious snowflakes deal with the pressures of not having to work, summer break, eating anything they want, going to the movies and wondering if Jimmy just likes her or if he likes her likes her  (myfoxdc.com) (61)
(My Fox DC) Fail After 26 years, DNA evidence finally gets man charged with murder in DC. Because the other evidence like the murder weapon, crime scene photos, hairs, fibers and 21 stab wounds to the back were lost during the original investigation  (myfoxdc.com) (23)
(CNN) Scary North Korea continues its assault on the Sea of Japan  (edition.cnn.com) (81)
(CBS Sacramento) Dumbass If you're a 5th grade teacher, make sure you don't accidentally put your personal sex tape onto the DVD you're giving your students at the end of the year. (article includes said video)  (cbs13.com) (207)
(Chicago Tribune) Misc Illinois police looking for hot, crazy brunette. Who isn't?  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (48)
(Reuters) Obvious Now that the real protestors have been put down and the online protestors have gone back to their WoW raids, Iranian hardliners want Mousavi arrested for being a rabble raiser  (reuters.com) (70)
(The Sun) Hero Wrestling midget brothers found dead after hooker romp. The Sun is there. Hero tag cuz that's how we all want to go out  (thesun.co.uk) (48)
(MSNBC) Stupid Sen. Franken may be spoofed on SNL, a show he use to be on, were he spoofed a senator once on a committee he may actually serve on (saved you six paragraphs of reading there)  (msnbc.msn.com) (241)
(Some Guy) Interesting Vietnam sees alarming rise in boy births vs girls. You'd be alarmed too if you saw a boy giving birth  (centredaily.com) (41)
(Telegraph) Strange Is your office dull and boring? Are you suffering from a lack of employee morale? What you need is a "naked Friday"  (telegraph.co.uk) (150)
(Washington Post) Interesting John "The 'Stache" Bolton: Israel, it's time for you to do what you do best against Iran  (washingtonpost.com) (271)
(Politico) Ironic Washington Post selling access to DC power elite, reporters for as much as $250,000; gets scolded by lobbybist for dubious ethics  (politico.com) (45)
(Boston Herald) Dumbass The Boston Herald is outraged that Massachusetts turnpike workers don't have to pay tolls on their way into work. The paper's next target: freeloading baseball hot dog vendors  (bostonherald.com) (43)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Man hit by train at 100mph, survives: "I'm not a hero, I'm an idiot." QFT  (telegraph.co.uk) (47)
(Findagrave.com) Weird Allah might have had 72 virgins waiting for Ayatollah Khomeini, but apparently he was a bit short on green chandeliers. With photo ostentatiousness  (findagrave.com) (41)
(USA Today) Obvious Obama expands assistance to poor decision makers  (usatoday.com) (86)
(Slate) Spiffy Want to strip then write a book? Here are common themes: You're someone we'd least suspect. But stripping feels strangely natural. And you're not like the ones doing it for meth  (doublex.com) (91)
(11 Alive) Sick Some may think that forwarding a child porn to your friends for the purpose of identifying the molester is good idea, but the authorities disagree  (11alive.com) (153)
(Metro) Strange You know your boyfriend really loves you when he's willing to cut off one of his penises for you. Wait, what?  (metro.co.uk) (89)
(My Fox DC) Fail OK kids, we're only gonna give you 5 chances to screw up before we take your license from you. No, wait, 10 chances, and that's it  (myfoxdc.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Stupid Once again a massive search is launched after someone leaves a bike/car on a Seattle ferry  (kitsapsun.com) (15)
(Madison.com) Dumbass Man gets charged with 9th DUI while serving time for 8th DUI, gets crowned king of Wisconsin  T-Shirt  (madison.com) (45)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Most traffic infractions end with a ticket, a fine, and a court date. Others end with a priest being tasered, 40 parishioners being pepper sprayed, and the door of the church being kicked in. The holy trinity of Texas law enforcement  (myfoxdc.com) (110)
(USA Today) Interesting Online advertisers adopt seven core principles designed to give you more control over enhancing your penis size  (usatoday.com) (14)
(The Local (Germany)) Amusing Cemetery authorities: Famous prostitute's gravestone 'too slutty'  (thelocal.de) (50)
(Chicago Reader) Strange It costs $900 to haul a dead body to the morgue in Chicago - not including cab fare to the voting booth  T-Shirt  (blogs.chicagoreader.com) (20)
(Reuters) Interesting Movie studios fail to realize that all you have to do to market to hipsters is tell them the movie sucked  (reuters.com) (147)
(AJC) Followup Parking deck collapse is a puzzle for engineers, pile of rubble and crushed cars for everone else  (ajc.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Fail She tugs at his shirt sleeve with her teeth. He caresses her right cheek. She kisses his neck repeatedly. If it just wasn't for the dash cam he wouldn't have had to abruptly resign as Chief of Police (w/you'd hit it video)  (cantonrep.com) (89)
(MDN) Silly National Rhinoceros Beetle Sumo Championship ends in chaos as finalist flees, earns instant DQ  (mdn.mainichi.jp) (12)
(Mercury News) Asinine Ric Romero reports: pets and fireworks don't always mix  (mercurynews.com) (22)
(Fox News) Interesting 62 sex offenders mistakenly let loose in Michigan.Police return them to prison, then release some again. It's an odd catch and release program, but Michigan seems to be enjoying it  (foxnews.com) (17)
(Franklin Avenue) Sad Casey Kasem's "American Top 20" goes the way of a little dog named Snuggles  (franklinavenue.blogspot.com) (120)
(CBC) Spiffy Possible AIDS vaccine to enter human trials, needlessly tempting high risk demographics away from their abstinence pledges  (cbc.ca) (88)
(Yahoo) Interesting Scientists prove that vegetarians have weaker bones. Suck it brittle bones  (fe18.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com) (243)
(AJC) Interesting Five time marathon winner touts the benefits of a Waffle House breakfast, says it will certainly give you the runs  (ajc.com) (47)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Woman calls fire department because her TV is on fire. Firefighters quickly save the day when they discover it was tuned to a broadcast of a fireplace  (mcall.com) (92)
(USA Today) Stupid USA Today publishes a helpful guide highlighting the major differences between the three vampire worlds  (usatoday.com) (116)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Iran crushed by the United States. Suspiciously, no Twitter coverage of the deadly-accurate U.S. shooting  (startribune.com) (34)
(News 14 Carolina) Scary Investigative journalism gets to the bottom of the most horrible thing you will ever see with your own eyes  (news14.com) (104)
(Some Guy on the ground) Photoshop Photoshop this guy on the ground  (i35.photobucket.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Silly Sea lion 1, cops not so much  (ktla.com) (41)
(First Coast News) Florida Man bitten by snake in Florida. Come for the story, stay for the picture of a Rattlesnake attacking its own tail  (firstcoastnews.com) (86)
(Denver Post) Asinine The Great Sofa Round-up, where people traded 600 sofas last year, has been cancelled this year due to fear of bedbugs by officials. "The Department of Public Health says it has no bedbug reports this year."  (denverpost.com) (53)
(Some Chick) Dumbass Apparently Tuesday was "Bring Your Granddaughter to a Drug Deal" day  (wlwt.com) (28)
(BBC) Interesting Sequel to American classic "Catcher in the Rye" banned, possibly for steroid use  (news.bbc.co.uk) (184)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 217: "In Memoriam: Thar Be Dragons" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (118)

Wed July 01, 2009
(WESH Orlando) Florida When asked if it's funny being arrested for fondling underage girls, don't say: "Yeah, it's funny. I'm a handsome dude. I don't need to be fondling little girls."  (wesh.com) (161)
(Some Guy) Ironic Five people arrested at a going away party they threw for a relative leaving for jail. -- So what, that's like... FIVE MORE PARTIES, YO  (itemlive.com) (58)
(WFMZ) Misc Man riding bike across Pennsylvania to raise money, awareness of people who actually want to ride a bike across Pennsylvania  (wfmz.com) (32)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Cool What could possibly be wrong with a bikini fireworks stand?  (thenewstribune.com) (138)
(MSNBC) Misc Sears Tower opening subby's worst nightmare on Thursday  (msnbc.msn.com) (225)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this siesta in the sun  (s.wsj.net) (57)
(CNN) Scary Faced with the prospect of returning to Staten Island, operator drives his ferry into a pier at full speed  (cnn.com) (38)
(LA Times) Obvious FDA: Anti-smoking drugs can make you crazy. How does the FDA know that these crazy people are not just jonesing for a cigarette?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (90)
(NWA homepage) Fail Not News: Murder victim shot in head. News: accidentally. Fark: by police responding to her 911 call  (nwahomepage.com) (264)
(MSNBC) Asinine Georgia foster care system tries to dump problem teen in Guatemala, despite the fact that he's never been there and is a US citizen  (msnbc.msn.com) (133)
(Some Chef) Florida Man arrested and tazered for illegal pork chop recipe  (wptv.com) (59)
(Comedy Central) Video Stephen Colbert declares soccer the new American sport. You've been warned  (colbertnation.com) (329)
(STLToday) Cool Now they are making dresses out of bacon. God bless America  (stltoday.com) (79)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Amusing Cats in Minneapolis are putting their paws together for Hoppy the dog-terrorizing cat. City officials have deemed him "potentially dangerous", but he's just making sure no stupid dogs ruin his Caturday fun  (startribune.com) (100)
(CNN) Stupid Todays Republican whinge: 60 vote Democratic majority in the Senate means America will start using the metric system. C'mon guys, is that really the best you can do?  (edition.cnn.com) (526)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Greece, where cigarettes are allowed in hospitals and 37% of the people light up, has adopted a new public smoking ban...for the 3rd time...in the last 10 years. Exceptions have been made for mental patients and gamblers  (myfoxdc.com) (48)
(WTAM) Dumbass Man concerned that his wife will be embarassed by his arrest in women's underwear. Is it the arrest or clothing choice that will embarass her more? (w/ pics)  (wtam.com) (76)
(LA Times) Fail California reduced to the Lloyd Christmas and Harry Dunne method of finance  (latimes.com) (91)
(Guardian.com) Interesting The UK now has 85 Sharia courts, which are just awesome and peachy and if you don't agree you'll get treated like a disrespectful Muslim wife  (guardian.co.uk) (139)
(The New York Times) Strange California's governator has a carpeted, furnished tent outside his office just for smoking his cigars in. Unfortunately due to term limits, he won't be back  (nytimes.com) (171)
(Washington Post) Interesting Russia forces all casinos to close down and relocate to far-flung regions. What happens in Krasnodar and Rostov, stays in Krasnodar and Rostov  (washingtonpost.com) (31)
(Business Insider) Amusing CNBC host complains "anonymous bloggers" have been mocking him and his show, saying he looks like Beaker from the Muppets. Ends up in a train wreck of a rant that... MEEP, MEEP, MEEP, MEEP, MEEP  T-Shirt  (businessinsider.com) (116)
(LA Times) NewsFlash Karl Malden finally leaves home without it  (latimes.com) (329)
(Tacoma News Tribune) Asinine The good news: Washington's state run liquor stores will be open on the 4th of july for the first time ever. The bad news: they face liquor shortages because they forgot to order enough booze  (blogs.thenewstribune.com) (45)
(Yahoo) Amusing Cheekily self-aware Reuters headline: "Probe fingers 1,800 American Apparel workers"  (fe13.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com) (55)
(Dayton Daily News) Interesting Church bans inflatable rides at Ohio festivals.....stops short of banning 11 year old boys  (daytondailynews.com) (46)
(Telegraph) Amusing Missing cat shows up on BBC political debate. Read my lips, no new veterinarians  (telegraph.co.uk) (50)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Fail News: Gas station robbed at knifepoint. Fark: Two idiots busted less than a mile away from said gas station after running out of gas  (abc2news.com) (15)
(SFGate) Asinine Annoyed that Southern Waffle Houses are getting all the Fark headlines, Arizona legislature passes the Drunken Redneck Shootenanny Act  (sfgate.com) (160)
(Media Matters) Unlikely Rush Limbaugh: "Michael Jackson flourished under Reagan and Bush, and died under Obama"  (mediamatters.org) (625)
(ABC Raleigh-Durham) Asinine Return your tray tables and seat backs to their upright positions - Oh, and put your clothes back on too (with pics)  (abclocal.go.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Weird During elementary school demolition workers discover numerous VHS porn tapes, women's panties... wait, what's a VHS?  (khq.com) (75)
(The New Republic) Interesting Public health insurance option would destroy private insurance, just like Social Security annihilated private pensions and FHA vanquished private mortgate lenders  (tnr.com) (542)
(Huffington Post) Amusing It's hard enough to moonwalk as is, these critters do it on all fours  (huffingtonpost.com) (42)
(FARK) Photoshop Theme: Photoshop/Farktography Mash Up. Combine two or more images from Farktography contest "Homeless images"  (fark.com) (105)
(Gawker) Fail "Let's screw up the entire Internet to save newspapers"  (valleywag.gawker.com) (164)
(Some Guy) Florida "He wanted to make a phone call, did a handstand and refused to obey. The officers put a padded helmet on him and transferred him to the jail,"  (floridatoday.com) (26)
(The Consumerist) Strange The creepiest Disney branded product you'll see today: The Mickey Mouse gas mask  (consumerist.com) (83)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Man who currently lives in Michael Jackson's boyhood home has a little difficulty doing yardwork these days (with pic)  (chicagotribune.com) (103)
(London Times) Interesting Russia conducting a huge military exercise near Georgia, causing worried citizens to back up traffic all the way to Macon  (timesonline.co.uk) (97)
(Yahoo) Amusing PROTIP: When planning your Independence Day celebration, consider whether launching fireworks in a war-torn African country is really the best way to go  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Tribtoday.com) Dumbass Tough economic times? Check. Having to steal to make ends meet? Check. Stealing copper from a high voltage electrical substation? Check. One electrocuted repeat offender identifiable by tattoos only? Check.  (tribtoday.com) (122)
(Baltimore Sun) Followup Baltimore deaths from alcohol and drug overdoses fall two years in a row, except for marijuana overdose deaths, which stubbornly remain unchanged  (baltimoresun.com) (432)
(FARK) FarkParty NYC Strong Beer Festival Jul 7th 7pm, clicky for details  (fark.com) (68)
(FARK) FarkParty Chicago Fark Parties are back: Saturday August 8th at 8pm. Yes, that's Lollapalooza weekend  (fark.com) (130)
(Globe and Mail) Hero Canada celebrates its 142nd birthday and wants the world to know: "We're inferior no more. We not only know who we are, but we like who we are." Happy Canada Day  (theglobeandmail.com) (328)
(Metro) Dumbass If I had to guess, i'd say your first mistake was taking a photo of yourself with a mobile phone in the house you were robbing, and your second mistake was leaving it behind  (metro.co.uk) (21)
(Yahoo) Sad The Fattest US States are in, and y'all will never guess which part of the country wins  (health.yahoo.com) (621)
(Reuters) Obvious Scientists find sex effective against childlessness  (reuters.com) (57)
(WCBS 880) Stupid Seriously, what does it take to lose your driver's license in New Jersey?  (wcbs880.com) (88)
(Baltimore Sun) Followup Annapolis alderman that was cured of homosexuality and stopped beating his wife has suffered a setback in both areas  (baltimoresun.com) (75)
(The Local (Sweden)) Strange Awkward moments in the workplace, number 21: Having to explain that you gave someone a vasectomy by mistake  (thelocal.se) (58)
(The State) Interesting Get ready to guess who farted, y'all: introducing your Miss South Carolina 2009 contestants  (thestate.com) (989)
(Some Guy) Ironic City councilman who led drive to ban pitbulls awaits decision whether his labrador retriever will be euthanized for biting neighbor  (siouxcityjournal.com) (323)
(3 News New Zealand) Fail Man falls asleep in church. While robbing it  (3news.co.nz) (32)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Not news: Boy arrested for stealing. News: For stealing an oxygen tank and sensor. Fark: From the ambulance while paramedics treated his mom. Total Fark: And a purse from one of the medics  (news.yahoo.com) (82)
(Telegraph) Amusing Italian ice cream company runs ad campaign portraying "forbidden Italian temptations", including a priest and a nun in a "seductive pose". Surprisingly, some people had a problem with this  (telegraph.co.uk) (134)
(The Local (Sweden)) Asinine Today's Fark-ready story: Swedish docs cleared over misplaced colon  (thelocal.se) (47)
(The Local (Sweden)) Amusing When giving a presentation to the board of your company, it's always worth trying not to bring up your favourite porn website by mistake  (thelocal.se) (86)
(BBC) Strange If you know anything aboot a half-ton of gold, missing from the Royal Canadian Mint and worth $US 13 million, the Mounties would like to have a word with you  (news.bbc.co.uk) (86)
(Seattle Times) Unlikely Latest way to get bored passengers to pay attention to the safety briefing? Flight attendants covered in body paint. Note that on US Air, eye bleach is now $25  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (104)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop these hymnists  (flickr.com) (30)
(BBC) Fail BBC is freaking out because a teenager bought a machete, which could potentially be used as a weapon. Next thing you know, they'll be letting kids buy a baseball bat without carding them  (news.bbc.co.uk) (268)
(Jerusalem Post) Scary As the Iranian authorities warned the opposition on Tuesday that they would tolerate no further protests over the disputed election, reports indicate that they have secretly started hanging arrested Mousavi supporters  (jpost.com) (610)
(Stuff) Interesting It is once again time for the annual Royal Counting of the Swans, when the Swan Marker rows up the Thames for five days, weighing and measuring swans and cygnets, to find out how many the gypsies have eaten  (stuff.co.nz) (32)
(News.com.au) Amusing Would-be burglar gets face rearranged after breaking into home of 71yo retired Army boxer. Judge's comments: Nice work  (news.com.au) (59)
(Abc.net.au) Amusing "The security guard approached the 44-year-old yesterday at a Dapto supermarket and demanded he produce the meat from within his pants."  (abc.net.au) (31)
(Washington Times) Hero Newspaper urges drivers to throw away red light camera tickets because the program is an accident-causing scam  (washingtontimes.com) (229)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fark ready headline "Woman Steals $650 In Gum From Hospital Gift Shop" with photo goodness  (10tv.com) (41)
(Montana's News Station) Fail Today's FAIL pic brought to you by this Bud Light truck and railroad overpass  (montanasnewsstation.com) (111)
(WBBM) Cool Amber alert, well, greenish-amber alert, for missing giant lizard (w/ pic)  (wbbm780.com) (33)
(The New York Times) Amusing Dry Academia, meet Pure Stupid. Pure Stupid, meet Dry Academia  (nytimes.com) (177)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Sad Roger Ebert gives two thumbs down to our culture of doom gloom and fear and the Nanny State mentality that has taken over our lives  (blogs.suntimes.com) (150)
(Washington Post) Spiffy 6 at 6 for $6: Cheap-ass domestic beers face off in a blind taste test showdown  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (184)

Tue June 30, 2009
(NY Magazine) Spiffy Hundreds of dolphins appear in Long Island Sound, delighting the oblivious guido boaters who have no idea the Vogons are about to destroy the planet  (nymag.com) (70)
(Des Moines Register) Hero Construction worker w/ ginomous brass ones pulls drowning woman from the roiling waters of a low head dam while dangling in a harness from a crane (pics)  (desmoinesregister.com) (102)
(WFTV) Florida Fark's favorite state has moved the seatbelt law to a primary offense. This is obviously to keep drivers safe  (wftv.com) (173)
(KnoxNews) Scary The "top prostitutes" of Knox County Tennessee with mugshZOMG KILL THEM WITH FIRE  (knoxnews.com) (215)
(CNN) Interesting Oshkosh gets contract to build mine resistant vehicles for military. Yes, that Oshkosh  (cnnwire.blogs.cnn.com) (108)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Oil analysts who predicted $200 oil last year, $25 oil then $100 oil this year now predict $55 per barrel oil. Seriously, people get paid for this?  (finance.yahoo.com) (79)
(Comedy Central) Video Colbert: "Jeff Goldblum is dead at the age of 56." Goldblum: "I don't want to go on the cart"  (colbertnation.com) (99)
(The Local (Germany)) Scary Tire factory hit with bomb threats two days in a row. Goodyear? The worst  (thelocal.de) (30)
(AP) Sad Communities axing Fourth of July fireworks. Why? I don't know, maybe you should axe them yourself  (hosted.ap.org) (74)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Midvale School For The Gifted graduate fails at robbing bank  (king5.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this man going downhill fast  (img81.imageshack.us) (43)
(Reuters) Cool 2,252 days since major combat operation were declared over in Iraq, major combat operations have officially ended in Iraq. Mission Accomplished  (reuters.com) (437)
(FOX43) Unlikely Woman says stress over MJ's death, not intoxication, impelled her to commit arson in Ohio bar  (fox43.com) (59)
(The New York Times) Amusing Arcade game experts rate Michael Jackson's collection: "Crystal Castles is a game for stoners, so I'm not sure why Michael Jackson has this"  (gadgetwise.blogs.nytimes.com) (195)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Wondering where Michael Jackson's chimp Bubbles has been? Wonder no more  (wtsp.com) (135)
(Yahoo) Followup Truck carrying hogs to slaughter overturns, one surviving pig lives on its own in wild for a week, ends up in woman's swimming pool, no longer usable as sausage due to unknown diet. Ta daa  (news.yahoo.com) (47)
(Yahoo) Sad Soon it will be news when people aren't shot in Detroit  (news.yahoo.com) (114)
(Reuters) Unlikely Russian president to his fellow countrymen: "Say no to vodak". Russians: "Bleargh"  (uk.reuters.com) (64)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Dumbass Relative holds $10 Mr. Coffee hostage in exchange for $48 "house watching fee"  (journalstar.com) (44)
(ktvb.com) Fail Not News: Falcon takes first flight. News: Hits a parked car. Fark: Webcam caught it all  (ktvb.com) (59)
(Gawker) Strange Did Geraldo Rivera just ask the Fox News viewers to kill a child molester?  (gawker.com) (356)
(Independent) Strange Crew of Boeing 757 reports near miss with lawnmower  (independent.co.uk) (59)
(Some Guy) Scary Walkers and canes pose injury risk for those using walkers and canes  (dbtechno.com) (52)
(The State) Interesting Biggest reason why Mark Sanford will survive the rest of his term? Because Sanford's probable successor is even crazier than he is  (thestate.com) (128)
(PennLive) Unlikely Reporter who's never visited Snopes.com: "Sneakers hanging on a power line are a sign to tell people that illegal drugs are available in a given area"  (pennlive.com) (227)
(Starpulse) Followup Pictures of Michael Jackson's tour rehearsal, just two days before his death. He actually looked good  (starpulse.com) (185)
(CBC) Followup Toddler who survived the Yemeni Airline plane crash now 14 years old. Man, they sure grow up fast (and change sex) these days  (cbc.ca) (60)
(Some Polaroid Nut) Photoshop It's been a while since the last Polaroid Photoshop Contest. Photoshop this one  (img.photobucket.com) (71)
(Guardian.com) Scary Having grown bored with swine flu, media now warning that summer is kidney stone season: "It's truly ghastly - probably the worst pain most people will ever experience. I've seen big hulky men reduced to tears on the floor"  (guardian.co.uk) (237)
(Kansas City) Strange You might want to get some new drinking buddies if they throw you in the Mississippi River when you pass out  (kansascity.com) (59)
(Fox News) Unlikely Michael Bay's latest film is so bad it's caused a power outage in Newark  (foxnews.com) (80)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Howard Stern "wack packer" nabbed for secretly taping Bernie Madoff sentencing  (thesmokinggun.com) (144)
(ktvb.com) Obvious Doing her part to perpetuate the stereotype, woman parks on roof  (ktvb.com) (63)
(Telegraph) Strange British family told to remove the trampoline from their back garden in case thieves use it to jump into their neighbours windows  (telegraph.co.uk) (47)
(Washington Post) Silly Washington Post looks at the "celebrity death rule of three." Which recently became a rule of five  (washingtonpost.com) (110)
(Some Guy) Scary "I really want to put out the message that cows can't be trusted. I think a lot of people don't realise how dangerous cows can be"  (fwi.co.uk) (113)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass DBWI: Man arrested for driving bulldozer while intoxicated  (thesmokinggun.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Stupid The media covers the final act of Michael Jackson's death by reporting that the wall-to-wall media coverage is receding  (centredaily.com) (182)
(Some guy) Dumbass Mother of the year candidate leaves infant home alone to go drinking. In her defense, you can't take an infant to the bar -- that's just bad parenting  (dailyitem.com) (116)
(Discovery) Scary Playboy Bunnies close to extinction. EVERYBODY PANIC  (blogs.discovery.com) (123)
(Telegraph) Scary Man tries to circumsize himself using nail clippers. "This is something we would advise men never to attempt."  (telegraph.co.uk) (118)
(Boston Globe) Weird Woman gets hit by train while trying to clear her thoughts. I guess she had a one-track mind  (boston.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Scary We regret to inform you that your Czechs have bounced  T-Shirt  (ceskenoviny.cz) (80)
(CBC) Strange Rather than concentrating on repairing downtown sewage treatment plant, city hangs up giant air freshener  (cbc.ca) (91)
(Timesherald) Dumbass Hint: When arguing over a bill, the first rule is to not point the loaded hunting rifle at your son  (timesherald.com) (129)
(Contact Music) Amusing Jerry Springer feels pangs of remorse over how awful his talk show is: "We've been doing this show for 19 years now and I'm really sorry for that"  (contactmusic.com) (196)
(USA Today) Followup Miracle child found alive in Indian Ocean plane crash. Undetermined whether Madonna or Michael Jackson's mother will win custody  (usatoday.com) (160)
(Reuters) Scary You know it's going to be a bad day when your train full of liquified petroleum gas derails. That's just a hard one to come back from  (reuters.com) (38)
(USA Today) Interesting Two federal lawsuits allege using a dog's discerning crotch-sniffing ability to identify suspects in "scent lineups" is nothing more than junk science  T-Shirt  (usatoday.com) (53)
(Stuff) Strange Here's how it works. They threaten you, you beat them around the head with a violin. That's the New Zealand way  (stuff.co.nz) (33)
(Salon) Sad A horse is a horse, of course, of course, unless it's the main course  (salon.com) (359)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Everybody knows how much fun nitrous can be, but you should probably think twice if you're a doctor in an emergency unit  (news.com.au) (40)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Florida Public Works misspell "school" on crossing near a school. Scohol may have been involved  (myfoxtwincities.com) (95)
(Yahoo) Amusing Oregon man gets back wallet that was missing for 63 years, is happy to be able to buy alcohol again  (news.yahoo.com) (17)
(CBS Sacramento) Fail All aboard for Amcrack  (cbs13.com) (41)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this paramilitary policeman under pressure  (s.wsj.net) (27)
(Telegraph) Asinine Nanny State bans swimming goggles because the precious snowflakes might injure themselves with them. Doesn't Nanny know the goggles, they do nothing?  (telegraph.co.uk) (141)
(Japan Times) Stupid Japan Airlines cancels morning flight after copilot gets wasted evening before, then walks outside hotel to pee behind tree where Hawaii police spot him  (search.japantimes.co.jp) (43)
(Some Yellowhammer) Caption Caption this bird  (wildaboutbritain.co.uk) (81)
(Some Guy) Asinine Man trapped in elevator tries to kick his way out, is arrested for damaging elevator. Alcohol was involved  (wsbtv.com) (31)
(Some Dark and Stormy Night) Amusing You submitted this--yes, caressing your keyboard like the trigger of a heavy, blued snub--with a more lachrymose, turgid, labyrithine headline  (bulwer-lytton.com) (89)
(Stars and Stripes) PSA Veterans to receive $250 stimulus checks soon. Bet Dick Cheney, Rush Limbaugh wish they hadn't dodged the draft now  (blogs.stripes.com) (159)
(Bitten and Bound) Fail Miss Georgia 2009 was crowned Saturday night and quit on Sunday. No scandal is apparent...more likely a serious case of 'I hate county fairs'. (pics)  (bittenandbound.com) (99)
(New Zealand Herald) Strange France may be in trouble for not protecting hamsters  (nzherald.co.nz) (44)
(Oregon Live) Hero Most decorated U.S. Marine Corps aviator in history, vet of three wars and the guy who, "when his guns froze, he flew his fighter into the Japanese observation plane, hacking off its tail with his propeller." dies at 89  (oregonlive.com) (194)

Mon June 29, 2009
(Denver Channel) Amusing Stories made for Fark: Tranny clown robs Beer Emporium store  (thedenverchannel.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this bug-eyed bureaucrat  (shorpy.com) (56)
(Boston Globe) Cool The most fantastic set of photos of dirty hippies you will see all week  (boston.com) (180)
(CBS Philadelphia) NewsFlash The Indian Ocean, feeling left out, gets its own plane to crash into it  (cbs3.com) (412)
(WESH Orlando) Florida Accused burglars break into nine vehicles, dance for a cop, then ask the cop for a ride home. Strawberry pop tarts are also involed. Then it gets weird  (wesh.com) (32)
(Toronto Star) Scary Thanks to the 56,000 Americans per year that can't follow simple instructions, NyQuil and other medications that combine acetaminophen with other ingredients may be taken off the market. Dennis Leary already getting the DT's  (healthzone.ca) (228)
(Seattle Times) Dumbass Party-pooper sues Seattle to stop fireworks over lake, say that there should be "some kind of review to make sure it doesn't hurt fish"  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (123)
(Denver Post) Spiffy Collecting rainwater is finally legal in Colorado  (denverpost.com) (127)
(CBC) Interesting Tim Hortons to become a Canadian company. Because apparently it's not  (cbc.ca) (128)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Missouri inmate uses cardboard toilet paper holder to escape from jail. Had previously escaped by climbing through ceiling. Next: Will dig 50 foot hole to freedom  (officer.com) (56)
(NBCConnecticut) Sick Only great news stories start with "it was a simple request: Don't defecate on my lawn"  (nbcconnecticut.com) (90)
(National Review) Interesting Legislating against climate change: it's just like Vegas, except no jackpots or showgirls. Oh, and you have to be willing to put up all of your future earnings as collateral  (corner.nationalreview.com) (594)
(Fox News) Scary The virus has mutated. EVERYBODY RE-PANIC  (foxnews.com) (132)
(AFP) Strange Consumer group finds that nearly 18 percent of the Italian population trusts sorcerers  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(MSN) Asinine Media Fearmongering Headline of the Day - "Beware of the Killer Bikini Wax"  (health.msn.com) (96)
(BBC) Dumbass Yep, men will say anything during sex. Sometimes it lands them in jail  (news.bbc.co.uk) (66)
(Baltimore Sun) Silly Woman's cancer vanishes after prayers to 19th-century priest. Church to consider "Post hoc ergo propter hoc"  T-Shirt  (baltimoresun.com) (140)
(Wall Street Journal) Strange Hinting that perhaps this recession is worse than previously thought, Wall Street Journal tastes and ranks cheap jug wines to help its readers choose wisely  (online.wsj.com) (104)
(RWW) Dumbass Oklahoma Rep. Sally Kerns introduces legislation formally blaming "gays and abortion" for the nation's economic woes. With video  (tips-q.com) (393)
(SLTrib) Scary Unless you like falling down, getting the wrong drugs, and having surgical equipment sewed up in your body, stay away from Utah hospitals  (sltrib.com) (49)
(Examiner) Asinine Lunatic fringe: blow up the moon because it's gay  (examiner.com) (229)
(AJC) Ironic Parking desk collapses at Georgia Tech, a college of engineering  (ajc.com) (191)
(Omaha World Herald) Dumbass Man who took advantage of Nebraska's Safe Haven law when he dumped all 9 of his kids on the state after his wife died claiming he had "lost the will to be a parent" is now expecting a baby with new girlfriend. Congrats, man  (omaha.com) (212)
(Denver Post) Scary Motorcycle clothesline.... You've thought about it  (denverpost.com) (521)
(Some Guy) Fail Morons wounded trying out their new gun. "Police say the couple simply didn't know how to operate the gun properly."  (post-gazette.com) (170)
(Kansas City) Interesting Scientist determine that people in New York do actually have bigger heads than people in Nebraska. Expect the next study will be to determine what's in it besides delicious goo  (kansascity.com) (67)
(CNN) Followup According to the autopsy, Billy Mays should have been pitching Lipitor  (cnn.com) (223)
(BBC) Followup Iran's Guardian Council confirms Ahmadinejad's victory. So I guess that settles that, then  (news.bbc.co.uk) (726)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Scary Man stabs girlfriend with gardening tool. Hoe?  (suntimes.com) (66)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: The secret life of reptiles  (fark.com) (37)
(Piedmont Triad / WFMY News 2) Interesting Utah to its many rednecks: Don't shoot your old tube TV, morans  (digtriad.com) (156)
(Fox News) Interesting Surprisingly, only 1 in 6 teenagers is a totally mopey emo douche  (foxnews.com) (91)
(CNN) Followup Michael Jackson's parents file for custody of his three kids because they did so well with the first go round of child rearing  (cnn.com) (137)
(Drew) FarkBlog Drew talks about the media frenzy surrounding Michael Jackson's death and also shares some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 6/21 - 6/27  (fark.com) (69)
(Delaware Online) Scary ...iGive  (delawareonline.com) (102)
(WLFI) Obvious Catholics cease drinking blood together over H1N1 fears  (wlfi.com) (343)
(Fox News) Obvious Lyndie England still looking for work two years after getting out of prison. Hasn't she tried being a dominatrix before to some critical acclaim?  (foxnews.com) (223)
(My Fox DC) Scary Oxycontin, Valium, Vicodin and Ritalin are being withheld from Virginians because of a hacker's attack on the state prescription drug database. Should make for an interesting couple of days  (myfoxdc.com) (116)
(Roll Call) Spiffy Cop who wrote tickets as the US Capitol was being evacuated and the World Trade Center burned retires after 34 years of being an asshat  (rollcall.com) (138)
(BBC) Dumbass News: suspected terrorist imprisoned. Fark: claims he was roleplaying in hopes that he would gain street cred by doing hard time  (news.bbc.co.uk) (57)
(Yahoo) Obvious Dear North Korea, thought you'd like to know our ICBMs still work. See you soon, the US Air Force  (news.yahoo.com) (274)
(Wired) Interesting How Facebook plans to bring down Google  (wired.com) (208)
(My Fox) Scary 8,000 bees wander through NYC streets. You probably weren't going to sleep soundly tonight anyway  (myfoxatlanta.com) (124)
(Some Guy) Weird Horse elephant disease infects the birds from X-Men or something  (tallahassee.com) (37)
(News.com.au) Dumbass A fool and his money are easily Feng Shuied  (news.com.au) (52)
(ABC News) NewsFlash Whitey sticks it to the Man  (abcnews.go.com) (π)
(My Fox DC) Stupid #1 rule of open heart surgery. Don't throw heart tissue at the nurses during the procedure  (myfoxdc.com) (80)
(The Sun) Scary Not news: man left hanging on the phone. Fark: it was the only thing keeping him from plummeting 700 feet to his death  (thesun.co.uk) (41)
(Washington Post) Dumbass If you're going to take your very young children to a war zone, make sure their passports aren't about to expire  (washingtonpost.com) (62)
(NewsNet5) Cool "The detective sat amazed as the woman continued the conversation while tucking the squirrel into her cleavage."  (newsnet5.com) (63)
(Pocono Record) Dumbass Man dies in his sleep, which frankly should be expected from a guy sleeping on train tracks  (poconorecord.com) (37)
(Komo) Dumbass "This is a 911 emergency. McDonald's robbed me of eight dollars"  (komonews.com) (250)
(Some Crispy-Spicy Guy) Strange The epidemic grows: "We're not exactly sure why he decided to take his clothes off and run through the woods and try and break into a neighbor's house"  (adn.com) (26)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Orlando's Holy Land Experience theme park gives away free admission one day annually, in order to have religion-based property tax exemption. But only God knows when it is  (orlandosentinel.com) (218)
(Some Guy) Caption Caption this underwater screamer  (i303.photobucket.com) (74)
(Pretty in pink) Strange When the police found the man that had left his shirt, pants, and wallet and the crime scene, he was covered in Pepto-Bismol  (morningsentinel.mainetoday.com) (34)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Catholic school invites Muslim pupils and their teacher for visit to promote interfaith understanding. So of course they demanded they remove their face veils before entering. Fatwa in 3... 2... 1  (dailymail.co.uk) (177)
(Kansas City) Strange Finally, someone makes Flintstone Vitamins for grown-ups  (kansascity.com) (64)
(Flickr) Photoshop Photoshop this escaped frisbee  (flickr.com) (30)
(Philly) Fail Because the big dig was such an affordable success, Philly wants their own  (philly.com) (126)
(Dlisted) Weird Michael Jackson's kids with Debbie Rowe aren't his kids."I was just the vessel. It wasn't Michael's sperm. Just like I stick the sperm up my horse, this is what they did to me. I was his thoroughbred."  (dlisted.com) (256)
(Some Guy) Florida Four arrested after golf club wielding crowd go after deputies who were trying to arrest drunk guy at "Manna Christian Mobile Home Park."  (news-press.com) (45)
(Some Ignoramous) Silly Aussie adults fail spelling bee. How embaras- embarrras- shameful  T-Shirt  (skynews.com.au) (75)

Displayed 470 of about 1513 links -- join TotalFark to see them all