If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.
Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun September 20, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Dumbass Seriously people, stop impersonating officers when pulled over for a traffic stop. It doesn't work  (katu.com) (94)
(London Times) Obvious Archbishop sparks controversy by saying Muslims "mass-produce children to take over countries" even though it's true  (timesonline.co.uk) (275)
(FARK) Photoshop Theme: Bizarre discoveries from the Hubble telescope  (fark.com) (115)
(kvia) Dumbass Man arrested for hitting fraternity brother in the face with beer bottle. Still no cure for cans, sir  (kvia.com) (152)
(MLive.com) Hero Girl saves boyfriend's life by doing mouth-to-mouth, removing her bikini, and carrying him to safety  (mlive.com) (373)
(Some Chick) Fail Man shoots hunting partner because he thought he was a squirrel. That's nuts  (shawanoleader.com) (72)
(AP) Strange If you left a beheaded goat and chickens on a Tampa beach don't sweat it, police say they're not investigating because it's not a criminal matter  (hosted.ap.org) (72)
(Some Grammar Nazi) Interesting Eight spelling mistakes even smart people make. Grammar nazi thread to the right  (divinecaroline.com) (628)
(Time) Interesting The secrets inside your dog's mind. Steak suspiciously absent  (time.com) (116)
(Daily Star) Amusing There are sympathetic ways of covering this story...but 'human kebab' just sounds better  (dailystar.co.uk) (52)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Today's "drunk driver backs into a patrol car" story brought to you by Bradenton  (wtsp.com) (28)
(Telluride Daily Planet) Cool The most overheard phrase at the Telluride Brewmasters Beer Festival this weekend: "It may as well be moonshine"  (telluridenews.com) (95)
(NJ.com) Asinine Boy hands out cocaine at daycare thinking it was candy  (nj.com) (70)
(Some Space Cowboy) Photoshop ♫ I really love your peaches, want to shake your tree ♫  (bctree.com) (58)
(keepMEcurrent.com) Cool After being burglarized, some people may buy an alarm system or extra locks for the doors. This couple decided to make a movie about it  (keepmecurrent.com) (21)
(The Morning Call) Stupid Insane Clown Posse fans have been classified as a gang. A really stupid-looking, ridiculous gang  (mcall.com) (524)
(BBC) Scary Designer's decision to use Size 12 models in Fashion Week event sparks walkout by people protesting the fact that such behemoths were even allowed to waddle out of their houses, let alone be allowed to take part in a fashion show  (news.bbc.co.uk) (307)
(Boston Globe) Scary Pakistani terrorists continue to target Americans  (boston.com) (84)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Coolest giant scupltures made entirely out of party balloons you'll ever see, and you're full of hot air if you claim differently  (telegraph.co.uk) (30)
(The New York Times) Obvious Egypt coming to the realization that they didn't think their cunning plan to rid the country of pigs all the way through  (nytimes.com) (124)
(WPBF) Florida More child porn charges filed against cat  (wpbf.com) (108)
(Fox News) Stupid If you live in New City, NY you'll be happy to know Friday's nuclear plant alarm was a mistake, now go change your shorts  (foxnews.com) (36)
(AZCentral) PSA Although a convenient location to get to, a highway median is a very supsicious place to grow marijuana  (azcentral.com) (43)
(Times Higher Education) Interesting Study stupidity at University: "it's the most powerful determinant of human destiny"  (timeshighereducation.co.uk) (116)
(Some Guy) Strange In Australia you can name your child Metallica or God Bless, but not Jesus Christ or Ned Kelly  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (57)
(Some Guy) Amusing Naked photo shoot stopped by Canadian police because organizers didn't have a permit, although as article notes, "The photo crew had been shooting and filming for about three hours before a complaint was called in"  (bclocalnews.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these turning tracks  (loc.gov) (25)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Gardener unearths five-fingered carrot. Slow news day (pic)  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)
(AP) Dumbass If you are going to rap about murdering people and defiling graves, don't put the songs on your MySpace. Especially if you actually did it  (hosted.ap.org) (57)
(Fox News) Interesting NY college sets up modern day leper colony, sets aside entire dorm for H1N1 cases  (foxnews.com) (54)
(SacBee) Dumbass Prolific mail thief gets 25 to life. Cellmate Bubba overheard remarking "Hello, new man"  T-Shirt  (sacbee.com) (53)
(USA Today) Hero Eating contest features "4-ounce burritos... each weighing about a quarter of a pound"  (usatoday.com) (121)
(News.com.au) Scary Giant, marauding, godless killing machine attacks nine people at a bus station  (news.com.au) (98)
(CBS New York) Scary Idaho woman doing okay after being impaled by a tree branch during what surely went from "leisurely weekend drive" to "holy fark, what the fark just happened?" pretty quickly (with cringe-inducing pic)  (wcbstv.com) (145)

Sat September 19, 2009
(CNN) Interesting At 7-foot 4.6 inches, 13-year old Brenden Adams is the tallest teen in the world. He couldn't be reached for comment  (cnn.com) (149)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fashionista in a field  (ljplus.ru) (30)
(Some Chick) Fail Woman in her 80's hits the gas instead of the brake and crashes through bakery. Dough  (wnep.com) (119)
(BBC) Interesting 50-minute commute turns into two-day ordeal. Surprisingly, this story has nothing to do with Amtrak  (news.bbc.co.uk) (106)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Death is milliseconds away  (fark.com) (104)
(UPI) Amusing This Satarrrday is "Talk Like a Pirate Day." Here's how it all began ye scurvy dog  (upi.com) (174)
(Leader Newspapers.net) Dumbass The state of New Jersey would like to remind you, if it can be avoided, to not masturbate while driving in public  (leadernewspapers.net) (98)
(UPI) Cool HardOn, apply directly to the penis  (upi.com) (246)
(www.usnews.com) Interesting HardOn, apply directly to the penis  (health.usnews.com) (26)
(Telegraph) Spiffy HardOn, apply directly to the penis  (telegraph.co.uk) (29)
(WSPA) Strange South Carolina Mayor bans police pursuit of suspects -- even foot pursuit. May ban Trivial Pursuit later this week  T-Shirt  (www2.wspa.com) (121)
(Some Guy) Obvious Oktoberfest opens in Germany with traditional German cries of "It's tapped" as the first keg is opened, followed by the inevitable "Let's get the Jews" after a few of them are emptied  (channel4.com) (188)
(MSN) Silly Forbes' list of America's most entertaining cities. Citizens of Hazelton, Pennsylvania knock over new playground slide in frustration and disgust  (cityguides.msn.com) (127)
(AJC) Weird You got your church in my porn, you got your porn in my church  (ajc.com) (184)
(Some Chick) Spiffy Firefighters rescue tiny kitten trapped under car radiator after motorist hears meowing under hood. "Dip Stick" needs a home in time for Caturday  (sacramentopress.com) (517)
(Some Guy) Amusing "My latest Pajamas Media column got linked by Fark, and while I always appreciate more readership, what a gaggle of morons. It's almost unbelievable."  (imao.us) (326)
(Some award-winning guy) Photoshop Photoshop this very happy fellow  (img22.imageshack.us) (73)
(Katu) Scary Two dozen bikers play dominos on the interstate  (katu.com) (149)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Two teenage boys find nearly $100,000 in cash on the banks of a creek while fishing and turn it into police. Anyone who lost the $1,000 is urged to come to police and claim it  (abc.net.au) (146)
(Sky News) Interesting Chef Jamie Oliver travels to Huntington, West Virginia - "the fattest town on Earth" - in hopes that his cooking will turn the residents off food  (news.sky.com) (220)
(Daily Express) Interesting Cop caught dealing cocaine in exchange for beer in public washrooms. Yeah, he got canned  (express.co.uk) (27)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup "We're guessing that a majority of these correct submissions came as a result of master sleuthing on Fark.com (to our relief, it has been several months since the contest was farked like this)."  (thesmokinggun.com) (53)
(LA Times) Scary When women scorned go into business  (latimes.com) (125)
(Telegraph) Interesting What do the Mediterranean Monk Seal, the Sumatran Water Shrew, and the Western Whiny Atheist have in common?  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (653)

Fri September 18, 2009
(Some Guy) Obvious Canada urged to embrace official bilinguialism so country can accept English and French in the same way that America is able to happily accomodate both people who speak English and Southerners  T-Shirt  (ottawacitizen.com) (345)
(Daily Mail) Cool Long-lost "Flintstones" house finally uncovered in Portugal. Woolly mammoth vacuum cleaner and pelican washing machine not included (with pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (81)
(St. Augustine) Florida Eulogy for beach bum bar, closed after 6 decades: "Nobody looked at you funny if you had a beer with your breakfast"  (staugustine.com) (73)
(ABC News) Cool Monopoly's hidden maps help WWII POWs escape, get out of jail free  (abcnews.go.com) (78)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: if the Amish joined the 21st century  (fark.com) (77)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing You'll just dye when you see The Smoking Gun's weekend mugshot roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (310)
(The Argus) Weird Schoolboy starts the new school year as a girl after changing sex during the summer holidays  (theargus.co.uk) (364)
(The Consumerist) Spiffy Microsoft getting all lawsuity over those scammy "we're scanning your computer for viruses OH NO YOU HAVE A VIRUS" ads that overtake your window  (consumerist.com) (204)
(Seattle Times) Strange Seattle restaurant owner put underwater billboards in Puget Sound. "Ivar's Chowder. Worth surfacing for. 75¢ a cup."  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (196)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Spiffy Water main break threatens to clean up parts of Baltimore  T-Shirt  (abc2news.com) (69)
(ktvb.com) Scary Today's exploding house brought to you by Nampa, Idaho  (ktvb.com) (58)
(CBS Salt Lake City) Amusing Experience the life of a polygamist without all the nagging wives--Tours now available  (connect2utah.com) (42)
(Some Sipper) Strange "I'm a gulper, I gulp stuff, I always have," says man with chunk of plastic stuck in his lung  (themedguru.com) (85)
(Bay News 9) Asinine Insane killer escapes on field trip to county fair. Wait, what? Field trip?  (baynews9.com) (147)
(Some Guy) Amusing Drunk, dry humping a parking meter and making racial slurs at passerbys is no way to go through life, son  (cairns.com.au) (80)
(The Sun) Obvious Moob Jobs more popular than ever with British men, while dieting, keeping dental appointments still considered "too metrosexual" (w/ completely unnecessary pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (171)
(WESH Orlando) Florida Billboard tells drivers how long their ER wait will be after it distracts and causes them to crash  (wesh.com) (44)
(WGNtv Chicago) Amusing Local news station does a collage of 80's video dating clips. Come for the big hair, stay for the "no fat chicks" guy  (wgntv.com) (117)
(Yahoo) Strange "Tokyo Cracks Down on Train Groping, Again" - guess there really is a downside to watching tentacle pron  (news.yahoo.com) (96)
(Intelligencer) Dumbass You get picked up for being drunk in public at 17. Your family bail you out and take you home. Do you c) call 9-1-1 repeatedly until the cops come and take you back to jail?  (intelligencer.ca) (51)
(This is Croydon Today) Stupid Just another night drinking at a friend's house, ends like usual, with your jaw fractured, your hair on fire and other drunks helpfully pouring boiling water on you to extinguish it  (thisiscroydontoday.co.uk) (26)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Drunk man named Shorty Smoothe gets angry when the woman he's hitting on doesn't know his name. "You (expletive) cracker. Do you know who I am?"  (nwfdailynews.com) (111)
(Fond du Lac Reporter) Followup Man who had penis Krazy Glued to his stomach gets probation, proving that victims of crime always get the shaft  (fdlreporter.com) (60)
(Denver Post) Photoshop Photoshop these legal lookers  (blogs.denverpost.com) (33)
(My Fox DC) Amusing White House Press Corp. journalist gets a hygiene lesson from Health Sec., Elmo. Probably wasn't too tickled. (w/ video)  (myfoxdc.com) (60)
(Yahoo) Asinine ICE won't allow slain marine's widow to come to the US because they were married by video hook-up and he was killed in combat before he could "consummate" the marriage. Bonus: they already had a child together  (news.yahoo.com) (229)
(TC Palm) Florida "He was out there milking cows and this one fell on him."  (tcpalm.com) (38)
(The Frisky) Interesting Eight so-called "chivalrous" moves that women hate, like asking her father for her hand in marriage. "No one should know you want to marry them before they do"  (thefrisky.com) (1475)
(Some Girl) Misc University of Georgia freshman forced to drink alcohol. The horror  (wsbtv.com) (60)
(ABC News) Obvious Uninsured 40% more likely to die, according to new study from the Blue Sky Wet Water Warm Sun Institute of Health Care Research  (abcnews.go.com) (151)
(ABC News) Dumbass Man falls to his death recreating move from UFC event. Yeah, equal parts alcohol and stupid were involved  (abcnews.go.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Sick World burrito eating champion to be rewarded with $3,000, bowels that open up like the Mekong Delta  (failuremag.com) (49)
(SLTrib) Dumbass Massage therapist: "I need to give you an internal massage since you haven't had previous massage work". Women clients: "Okay"  (sltrib.com) (173)
(WHO TV) Amusing Iowa Police Officer of the Year arrested for DWI. I think that's Driving While Iowan  (whotv.com) (37)
(LA Times) Scary Seventh circle of hell to be redefined as H1N1 looks to create a world full of nothing but old people  (latimes.com) (93)
(The Smoking Gun) Spiffy TSG Friday Photo Fun. What celebrity ODed at this house? Contest closes 4PM EDT  (thesmokinggun.com) (171)
(The New York Times) Cool A panoramic view inside the hundred-year-old clock room at Grand Central  (nytimes.com) (75)
(ProJo.com) Scary Employment in Rhode Island is so bad recent grads are actually taking jobs at lemonade stands. Even ones that aren't liberal arts majors  (projo.com) (138)
(Reuters) Spiffy Cuba excited to finally receive 1963 issue of Playboy  (reuters.com) (100)
(Some Guy) Interesting Half the garbage collected from Britain's highest mountain found to be banana peels discarded by mountaineers tackling the 45-foot-high behemoth  (heraldscotland.com) (84)
(Pal Item) Dumbass Before going to the Police Department to apply for a gun permit, consider leaving your weed at home  (pal-item.com) (65)
(New York Daily News) Amusing Lawyers defending four men accused of plotting to bomb Bronx synagogue argue the men were effectively entrapped by being offered unlimited fried chicken by agents. Sounds kinda half-baked to me  (nydailynews.com) (60)
(The Sun) Amusing Tesco spokesman: "We would ask Jedis to remove hoods. Obi-Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Luke Skywalker all went hoodless without going to the Dark Side"  (thesun.co.uk) (629)
(Reuters) Interesting Diplomatic powers activate: Form of: NATO/Russia/US missile system  (reuters.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Weird "A man sitting on a toilet at Wiggie's Bar was ordered to take his clothes off by a man wielding a sawed-off shotgun, police report." Then ... yeah, it gets weird  (host.madison.com) (57)
(Seacoastonline.com) Strange What has no arms, no legs and sits behind the wheel of a police cruiser?  (seacoastonline.com) (95)
(Boston Globe) Stupid Man arrested trying to impersonate West Virginia Governor in identity theft scam. Police became suspicious when he asked for his wife and his sister's records as separate people  (boston.com) (60)
(CBC) Scary Don't think of them as homeless people, think of them as an enormous, dirty incubator for swine flu  (cbc.ca) (99)
(Daily Mail) Cool Old and busted: House of Cards. New hotness: Hotel of Cards  (dailymail.co.uk) (34)
(Some Casey Jones) Fail Woman, not realizing that she didn't need to hold it down, gets hit by train while trying to flatten penny  (wcpo.com) (114)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: If cartoon characters ruled the world  (images.google.com) (68)
(UPI) Fail If you plan to commit suicide by train try to find one that moves faster than 15 mph and doesn't have a cow catcher  (upi.com) (58)
(Telegraph) Fail 20 ways to make an English major cry  (telegraph.co.uk) (442)
(New Zealand Herald) Sick Hungarian tourist forces his banjo down elderly gay man's throat. Sadly, this is not a euphemism  (nzherald.co.nz) (117)
(News.com.au) Obvious Please do not taunt the cliff monkey  (news.com.au) (39)
(MainStreet) Obvious Headline: "5 Sweet New Rides For Under $12K". Reality: "Nope, nope, nope, nope, and nope"  (mainstreet.com) (364)
(Asylum.com) Florida "People like to make fun of Florida, but a state where hot blondes will go hunting with you in a swamp can't be all bad." (with picture)  (asylum.com) (125)
(New Zealand Herald) Ironic Australia deporting its criminals  (nzherald.co.nz) (87)
(CBC) Interesting Officials at the Edmonton Valley Zoo will not bring in more veterinarians to examine Lucy, their Asian elephant, retired game show host and animal activist Bob Barker was told Thursday afternoon. Wait, what?  (cbc.ca) (81)

Thu September 17, 2009
(KCRA 3) Dumbass Sticky-Note Bandit arrested in Nevada. If we get an update, we'll post it later  T-Shirt  (kcra.com) (33)
(Some Cephalopod) Amusing Who's a widdle demonspawn? Who's a widdle destroyer of worlds?  T-Shirt  (catalog.chaosium.com) (80)
(The Consumerist) Sick Did people not learn anything from Doctor Who in the Green Death? Fake meat grown from fungus is a BAD idea  (consumerist.com) (211)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this young model  (l.yimg.com) (43)
(DateDaily.com) Asinine Nax is a male sex doll created to give women pleasure. Too bad he's balding on top with a long flowing ponytail and has pubic hair that would making a forest jealous. Pic included  (datedaily.com) (lots)
(ABC Action News) Florida How to: Get shaved and beaten for playing your game boy  (abcactionnews.com) (40)
(Some Chick) Florida It takes a special kind of dad to call the police and have your son arrested for going to school with a swiss army knife in his pocket  (justnews.com) (94)
(AZCentral) Asinine Walmart worker goes to the cops after couple drops off innocent pictures of their young children in the bathtub  (azcentral.com) (366)
(Some Guy) Scary Twelve of the most horrifying torture devices in history to brighten your day  (listaholic.com) (147)
(The Register) Interesting Human brain 'works like presidential elections'. How can 59,054,087 brain cells be so dumb?  (theregister.co.uk) (64)
(Some Guy waiting for the bus) Cool The worlds coolest bus stops  (urlesque.com) (79)
(Bloomberg) Misc Africa needs condoms. Partly to help the environment, but mostly because Antarctica has lost a lot of water recently and is a fine piece of mass  (bloomberg.com) (71)
(Ohio.com) Silly The cow came back the very next day, the cow came back, they thought he was a goner  (ohio.com) (64)
(Some Guy) Interesting Plumbing van overturns, clogging traffic, flushing motorists into side streets, and sending the morning commute into the crapper  (ocregister.com) (22)
(700 WLW) Misc Ugly ass Fishing Cat kittens make debut at Cincinnati Zoo  (700wlw.com) (81)
(SLTrib) Scary People ask you to leave a party because you're smoking meth. Do you: a) Leave? b) Stay? c) Steal a sword from the neighbor's garden and return seeking revenge?  (sltrib.com) (138)
(CNN) Spiffy Liquid-filled eyeglasses could help a billion people see, look like Waldo  (cnn.com) (118)
(Fox News) Stupid Men now account for 40% of all eyebrow - or "guybrow" - grooming procedures. Adam Carolla seen silently nodding in approval  (foxnews.com) (127)
(CBC) Followup Greyhound bus beheader still can't cut it in society  (cbc.ca) (197)
(Some Guy) Florida If you can tell the difference between a grenade and a bottle of cologne the TSA may have a job opening for you  (tallahassee.com) (71)
(someone needs a hug) Strange Bear hug an attorney? That's an assault and battery charge  (eagletribune.com) (86)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass Woman shows up to vote only to find out the city moved its boundaries and no longer considers her a resident for voting purposes. Fark: city still has no problem collecting taxes and utility fees from her  (buffalonews.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Interesting 45% of doctors would consider quitting if Congress passes health care overhaul. Now that's some change we can believe in  (investors.com) (508)
(Ohio.com) Weird Woman told to stop stealing from Goodwill's trash, apparently unaware that you can walk into the store and get the same stuff along with a much nicer shopping experience  (ohio.com) (38)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Pole dance doll, nipple tassle t-shirt & 5 other inappropriate products for children  (huffingtonpost.com) (139)
(BBC) Cool The European telescope sent far from Earth to study the oldest light in the Universe has returned its first images. And it's not a street light  (news.bbc.co.uk) (58)
(SacBee) Cool Daryn Dodge's accomplishments: Has climbed all 248 Sierra Nevada peaks. Average Farker's accomplishments: Once had bacon and Mtn. Dew for breakfast  (sacbee.com) (73)
(SFGate) Hero Abolish Congress for incompetence and corruption? Disband the Federal Reserve? Outlaw political parties? Before there was Ron Paul there was Norton, Emperor of America and Protector of Mexico  (sfgate.com) (129)
(KTAR) Obvious Border fence will cost $6.5 Billion in repairs over 20 years. Now only if we knew where to get cheap labor to help decrease the costs  (ktar.com) (192)
(Telegraph) Sad From our grouchy obit of the day: "The general public are idiots when it comes to modern art. You can hang up a rat by its tail and call that art and people will believe you. And these artists seem to make a fortune out of it"  (telegraph.co.uk) (105)
(CBS Minneapolis) Strange If you really want to impress your wife, there are better ways than by dressing in a stolen miniskirt  (wcco.com) (43)
(New York Daily News) Asinine Tom Cruise says, "Sex with me is like flying". He must mean the lost luggage, delays on the runway, abusive attendants and exorbitant costs  (nydailynews.com) (224)
(Some Guy) Strange Hey-o La La La....Pigs in a northern town  (redding.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Amusing Man caught by police peeing in an alley climbs onto an outdoor refrigerator, onto a restaurant's roof, runs to the front, jumps onto an awning, crashes through the awning, lands on the pavement, and escapes. Tah-dah  (www2.timesdispatch.com) (57)
(STLToday) Scary Inmate suing Supermax prison for civil rights violations, claims it's stressful and driving inmates insane. Authorities claim that he's not stressed, rather he is only slicing up his own penis for the attention of female medical staff  (stltoday.com) (131)
(MSNBC) Cool Dogs used to sniff out prison inmates' illegal cell phones, some of which are found in hollowed-out Bibles, light fixtures, and...you know. There. But hey, dogs are natural butt sniffers, so it's all good  (msnbc.msn.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Screw the flying car. THIS is what you want: A kegopizzabarmobile  (bikeportland.org) (70)
(Some Guy) Sad My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw that Ferris Bueller's home was endangered. I guess it's pretty serious  (chicagotribune.com) (42)
(Yahoo) Dumbass Everbody does not love Raymond  (news.yahoo.com) (185)
(STLToday) Scary Energy Woman dies after catching fire during surgery. Marvel to revive her in six part series  (stltoday.com) (62)
(NASA) Photoshop Photoshop this mountainous slab  (antwrp.gsfc.nasa.gov) (38)
(Breitbart.com) PSA Number of peodphiles lurking on the 'net, according to the UN, is *activate random number generator*: 750,000  (breitbart.com) (202)
(ABC News) Unlikely What soda poposition is this?  (abcnews.go.com) (218)
(Wired.co.uk) Obvious "Zombies good, God bad when dating online"  (wired.co.uk) (159)
(USA Today) Scary The Federal Energy Regulatory Commission says EMPs are bad, so we should build a metal shield over our cities or some damn thing  (usatoday.com) (242)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Employee: Do you think this $29,000 dollar check for a tip on that catering job is a mistake? Catering Job Supervisor: Nah, looks right to me  (myfoxdc.com) (288)
(Telegraph) Interesting Company launches umbrella to help fight off muggers, even if they're armed with bananas or, horror of horrors, a pointed stick  (telegraph.co.uk) (193)
(Ohio.com) Scary Man survives car crash, is killed by oncoming pickup truck walking away from accident....Final Destination  (ohio.com) (69)
(Barstools) Interesting Ranking of world's highest blood alcohol test scores. Lithuanians take two of the top spots, but they can't keep up with the Bulgarian  (barstools.net) (113)
(Wikipedia) Photoshop Theme: Thelema (Do what thou Wilt) Free for all. No 'O', no theme. Have Fun  (en.wikipedia.org) (123)
(Martinsburg Journal) Fail Burglar leaves his Facebook page on victim's computer  (journal-news.net) (107)
(Some Guy) Obvious Police in New Jer$ey $et up a cro$$walk $ting to en$ure public $afety  (delawareonline.com) (128)
(Some genero) Silly Man fined for insulting mother-in-law. Subby has never had an unkind thought about his mother-in-law and thinks the dirty rotten scoundrel had it coming  (lifeinitaly.com) (60)
(Fox News) Interesting New view of ______ reveals hot, young stars in _____. It doesn't matter what the blanks are, we both know you're still clicking the link  (foxnews.com) (136)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Guy calls 911 to report the bartender cut him off. Wait, Drew's in Florida?  (tampabay.com) (52)
(Telegraph) Stupid People on vacation still find time to complain about the sun being too shiny, the alcohol being too strong, and their ice cream melting too fast. To all you reading this from work, join me in saying, 'boo-farking-hoo'  (telegraph.co.uk) (172)
(Yahoo) Interesting Oh God, Oh God, Oh God  (news.yahoo.com) (297)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 228: "Look Out Below." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (239)

Wed September 16, 2009
(madison.com) Interesting Wisconsin bill would require kindergarten. Giving our kids an extra year to practice their graffiti skills  (host.madison.com) (89)
(The Newspaper) Misc Tonight, on the most boring episode of COPS ever, a speed camera van makes an unsignaled lane change on the way to Chick-fil-A  (thenewspaper.com) (115)
(Google) Photoshop Iron Photoshop ingredient: chopsticks  (images.google.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Weird Austrian construction workers flee for their lives when a naked blonde rushes at them, screaming "Who wants me?" Bunch of girly men  (worldclassstupid.blogspot.com) (141)
(Discover) Scary Bad news:"Crazy" Ants destroying Christmas; Good news:they also kill crabs  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (63)
(News9.com) Sad 75 Percent of Oklahoma High School Students Can't Name the First President of the U.S., But They Do Know 'Obama Ain't American'  (news9.com) (454)
(Some Guy) Interesting Cops find a roach hiding in a suspect's dreadlocks  (insidebayarea.com) (58)
(Scientific American) Cool Gene therapy cures color-blindness in monkeys. Still no cure for poo-flinging  (scientificamerican.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Interesting "There is a great need for a sarcasm font" and a list of other great nuggets of wisdom  (ruminations.com) (95)
(JSOnline) Dumbass "I got confused. I'm drunk. What am I doing on the (expletive) freeway? I am trying get off." Haven't we all been there?  (jsonline.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Interesting There's a cougar roaming suburban Chicago. No, not that kind of cougar, the "OMG it's a cougar get-in-the-car" kind of cougar  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (87)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass High school math teacher gave drugs and booze to students; cops told there would be no meth  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (16)
(Political Wire) Amusing The audio of Obama calling Kanye West a "jackass" is good but the video is better  (politicalwire.com) (410)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Porn actor pleads guilty to trying to get in through the wrong hole  (chron.com) (59)
(GamingToday) Asinine 'Real' man crashes women-only poker tourney, steals final pot from breast cancer patient  (gamingtoday.com) (216)
(New Zealand Herald) Spiffy Candy maker creates a salami-flavored chocolate treat. Wash it down with bacon-flavored vodka  (nzherald.co.nz) (21)
(The Faster Times) Interesting Way more than you ever wanted to know about meatballs  (thefastertimes.com) (31)
(Yahoo) Fail Actual headline: "5 Items Will Consumer 50% of Your Income." Well, okaying, but I expectish I'll be earningest 15 percentage more moneyed befores muchly longerestingishly  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (163)
(Yahoo) Sad Over a billion people in the world are hungry, and submitter could go for a pizza himself  (news.yahoo.com) (308)
(Guardian.com) Scary Tonight you sleep with the three eyed glow in the dark fishies  (guardian.co.uk) (17)
(CNN) Stupid Spanking has negative effect on kids. You should see the effect it has on your mom, though  (cnn.com) (656)
(Some Bunk) Amusing ...I'll be in my bunk.... peeing in your sock drawer  (uweekly.com) (119)
(NJ.com) Fail Search warrants? We don't need to follow no stinking US Constitution if we think there is some underage drinking going on  (nj.com) (158)
(Guardian.com) Sick Some sick bastard put Dan Brown's new novel on the internet for some damn reason or other  (guardian.co.uk) (243)
(Bloomberg) Obvious "More than 8 out of 10 people support covering the uninsured, curbing costs, creating an insurance-purchasing exchange, and preventing insurers from dropping coverage or refusing to accept people with preexisting medical conditions."  (bloomberg.com) (592)
(Some Guy) Interesting Court rules that you can't be fired for calling your boss a son of a biatch  (heraldsun.com.au) (123)
(Wall Street Journal) Fail Chrysler CEO has a five-year plan. No money, good cars, or happy employees, but at least it's something  (online.wsj.com) (106)
(Daily Star) Cool Guinness celebrates 250 years of getting sloshed, losing your car keys, telling too many people you love them and eventually passing out in the alley next to your car, waiting for a relative to come get you  (dailystar.co.uk) (164)
(London Times) Scary Teen faces up to seven years in prison and forced into hiding after people firebombed her house for having an abortion. Where is this happening? In Australia. Wait, what?  (timesonline.co.uk) (239)
(My Fox DC) News DC Sniper Muhammad set to be executed on Nov. 10  (myfoxdc.com) (643)
(Newsday) Followup Police arrest a "person of interest" in Yale murder investigation. I guess that rules out Jay Leno  T-Shirt  (newsday.com) (244)
(Some Guy) Strange Police say a developmentally disabled man is luring high school athletes to the library and then offering to pay them for piggy back rides. That is so retarded  (thenewstribune.com) (67)
(USA Today) Interesting Firemen: the unintended victims of panhandling bans  (usatoday.com) (122)
(News.com.au) Amusing Do not meddle in the affairs of elephants, for they are subtle and quick to bean you in the back of the head with a stone  (news.com.au) (65)
(Peterborough Examiner) Sad Mom asks for kids back, saying she has stopped drinking and using drugs, and will stop drawing swastikas on them before sending them to school  (thepeterboroughexaminer.com) (125)
(Digital Spy) Interesting Developer commissioned to create PC game promoting sexual health. Working title is "Privates", presumably because the title "Afterburner" was already taken  (digitalspy.co.uk) (50)
(MaineToday.com) Obvious The city of Waterville, Maine may allow residents to have a cock and pullet, but not if they're naked  (morningsentinel.mainetoday.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop someone you'd rather see sitting at this table  (l.yimg.com) (70)
(Yahoo) Interesting Authorities arrest a drug ring that used American Airlines to smuggle nearly 20,000 pounds of cocaine in suitcases. The street value of the drug was estimated at $19.95 once you subtracted the extra baggage fees  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (85)
(The Local (Sweden)) Unlikely Is your landlord not keeping up with the maintenance of your apartment? No problem, just send him a packet of live cockroaches and watch him leap into action  (thelocal.se) (28)
(TV NZ) Amusing Driver left off with a warning after crashing SUV into cafe. News: Driver is five and a half. Fark: Driver is a dog  (tvnz.co.nz) (49)
(Daily Mail) Scary Former coal miner comes out as Britain's oldest transsexual. With picture that will haunt your dreams  (dailymail.co.uk) (151)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Woman sues debt collectors for giving her husband a heart attack. Bonus: Recordings of truly unbelievable calls from debt collectors  (wtsp.com) (567)
(Google) Obvious Forest Service: shunning American beer is not a crime  (google.com) (80)
(Metro) Amusing The German city of Gelsenkirchen would like to make it clear that they don't actually offer pornography  (metro.co.uk) (32)
(News.com.au) Sappy Hero: British soldier dies fighting in Afghanistan WTF: best mate wears tight lime green dress and pink leg warmers to his funeral  (news.com.au) (85)
(Lord Godiva) Florida Protip: When driving on a revoked license, don't call attention to your drunk ass by riding your Kawasaki nude down the Interstate  (ocala.com) (36)
(AP) Weird News: Governor grants last minute reprieve to death row inmate. Fark: Because the execution team couldn't find any veins. UltraFark: Even after the inmate tried helping them  (hosted.ap.org) (251)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this leggy supertrooper  (bleex.me.berkeley.edu) (31)
(Google) Fail Pro Tip: If you're going to pretend to be a cop, don't pull over the mayor  (google.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Strange Riot breaks out in the parking lot of the Sons of Norway Oslo Lodge Hall. Instigators last seen driving away in a fjord  (kitsapsun.com) (36)
(Nevada Appeal) PSA Construction of the North Stewart Street Extension from East John Street to North Roop Street is continuing. Long Street will be intermittently closed from Roop Street to Fall Street. Roop trifecta complete  (nevadaappeal.com) (62)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Weird Gorilla suited woman accused of stealing giant banana will not be charged due to extradition charges  (myfoxtwincities.com) (39)
(CNN) Spiffy Columnist ponders why some men are attracted to redheads. As if we could give a good answer. Sure, there's the rarity, the pale skin, the freckles, the feisty attitude... I'll be in my bunk  (cnn.com) (1389)
(The Tennessean) Ironic FAIL: Cops look for suspect, show up at wrong house. WIN: Occupant of said house surrenders to an outstanding warrant  (tennessean.com) (59)
(KCRA 3) Dumbass Satan worshipping teen burns down church. Mom: "Well, you know, kids sometimes don't always like what their parents want them to do. Everybody knows that."  (kcra.com) (155)

Tue September 15, 2009
(Slashdot) Hero You can grow back brain cells. This is good news for... well, everybody  (science.slashdot.org) (100)
(Reuters) Spiffy "Universal's Harry Potter park to include Hogwarts." And for you die-hards out there -- butter beer  (reuters.com) (85)
(Seacoastonline.com) Fail Honor system farm stands squashed by thieves (link now works)  (seacoastonline.com) (98)
(Some putter) Stupid Drunk minivan driver charged in golf cart fatality. I guess his driving wasn't up to par  (gloucestertimes.com) (16)
(YouTube) Cool Audio of President Obama calling Kanye West a 'jackass'  (youtube.com) (444)
(The Times of India) Sappy Wrestling coach Chand Roop Awaits Recognition. Roop trifecta now in play  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Weird A bunch of kids were playing around a waterfall when they saw this strange creature coming out of a cave. So naturally they killed it and took pictures  (dailyhuff.com) (219)
(NASA) Interesting To complete another trifecta: The nicest picture from orbit of the super typhoon Choi-wan you'll see today  (earthobservatory.nasa.gov) (50)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this raised wreck  (s51.radikal.ru) (43)
(Ars Technica) Weird Glow in the dark bananas. Now the banana trifecta is a quint  (arstechnica.com) (67)
(Grape Ape) Strange Queensland man killed in collision with banana truck. Banana Quadfecta?  (brisbanetimes.com.au) (42)
(Some Pollo) Sick Police investigating chicken licker. Chicken trifecta now complete  (mailonsunday.co.uk) (50)
(Google) Fail Actual headline: "Sen More US Roops Shows Commitment to Afghan War." Sen Roops? Ruh-roh  (google.com) (103)
(Daily Bulletin) Stupid Man suffering from appliance confusion starts fire while drying his jacket in a microwave  (dailybulletin.com) (59)
(Some Guy) Hero 43 marathons, check. Flag, check. Flats, chec...Slow down there, where are your HEELS??? Oh, I see, now you're an ACTION Transvestite  (whtimes.co.uk) (110)
(Some Fruity Guy) Amusing Youths stealing bananas to charge their cellphones. (Uber-elusive banana trifecta complete)  (freshplaza.com) (68)
(Yahoo) Hero Never bring a sword to a gun fight. Unless the idiot attacking you forgets to bring a gun  (news.yahoo.com) (296)
(KTUL) Dumbass Bad: You and your girlfriend resort to having sex in a trash dumpster. Worse: You're discovered by a pair of senior citizens. Fark: Who then proceed to rob you at pocket-knife point  (ktul.com) (111)
(SacBee) Followup Inspectors say arrest near in Le killing. Sacre Bleu  (sacbee.com) (142)
(AP) Sad Belgian warship managed to rescue 38 refugees in refugee boat tragedy. Belgium has a warship?  (hosted.ap.org) (90)
(The Frisky) Amusing Craigslist: Your go-to site for bromance  (thefrisky.com) (124)
(Variety) Weird All of you out there clamoring for a movie based on the game Battleship, mark July 1, 2011 on your calendars  (weblogs.variety.com) (207)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Domestic abuse now a pre-existing condition. Wait, what?  (huffingtonpost.com) (465)
(NPR) Obvious Shocking new opinion poll shows doctors love the idea of guaranteed income, immunity from malpractice suits, not having to know collection agents personally  (npr.org) (286)
(The Smoking Gun) Obvious Craigslist hooker mug shot round-up starts out hopeful, but then quickly degrades into DO NOT WANT  (thesmokinggun.com) (274)
(Independent.ie) Strange The latest trend amongst Polish immigrant communities - throwing the corpse of your dead friends in the river  (independent.ie) (46)
(Some Girl) Photoshop Photoshop this distorted self image  (prekfurniture.com) (41)
(LA Times) Interesting Antiviral drug reduces the severity of mono, but does nothing for the availability or pricing of the box set  (latimes.com) (54)
(WLFI) Amusing "I was a member of the chicken underground and didn't even know it"  (wlfi.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Stupid PETA wants to rent a prison building the state plans to close and turn it into the nation's first chicken empathy museum  (ydr.inyork.com) (159)
(Homestar Runner) Amusing What kind of world do we live in, where there isn't a pile right here?  (homestarrunner.com) (58)
(AP) Sad Tweet the giraffe Я dead  (hosted.ap.org) (79)
(Some Guy) Amusing Buffy the gator slayer  (wltx.com) (66)
(Some Horny Kids) Obvious ♫ The teens on the bus go up and down, up and down, up and down.... ♫  (wltx.com) (327)
(Stuff) Asinine "Police said the man left the scene, leaving the injured and unconscious woman in the passenger seat before returning to the scene later in a taxi, stealing the woman's bag and the $500 it contained and going back to the pub"  (stuff.co.nz) (29)
(Express Buzz) Dumbass There's "drunk enough to make a boat out of banana plants." And then there's the Darwin-approved "drunk enough to try to actually use the boat"  (expressbuzz.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Interesting Dispute over huge, steaming pile of manure in Saginaw, Michigan, leads to man being Tasered. Unclear how police were able to differentiate the steaming pile of manure from the rest of Saginaw  (mlive.com) (69)
(New York Daily News) Weird Mystery tree chopper strikes again in Queens park. Police currently stumped, but vow to catch the sap, tell people to axe around, hope somebody might have seen him leave  (nydailynews.com) (96)
(Washington Post) Sad Bike messengers hit hard by shrinkage  (washingtonpost.com) (122)
(Daily Mail) Strange You've just seen a karate expert knock one of your buddies out, do you C) bite her husband's nose off?  (dailymail.co.uk) (93)
(Abc.net.au) Strange Cult leader promised bumper banana crop if people would just have sex in public. Yes, they have no bananas  (abc.net.au) (55)
(WHDH Boston) Scary A train leaves Boston heading west. At the same time, a second train heads east on the same track. If both trains are travelling towards each other at the same speed, how long until the passengers soil themselves?  (www3.whdh.com) (68)
(Daily Mail) Followup Prison guard wins unfair dismissal case after being sacked for being too sexy. With convenient "what a sexy prison guard might look like" photos  (dailymail.co.uk) (220)
(Metro) Amusing It's typical. You wait ages for a bus driver and then none show up at once, so you decide to drive the bus home yourself  (metro.co.uk) (26)
(Dude, you're harshing my buzz) Amusing News: 22 cops and 1 helicopter smash marijuana grow operation. Fark: 6 plants  (thechronicleherald.ca) (158)
(London Times) Scary From my pickup's bed, I stab at thee. For hate's sake, I spit my goat milk at thee  (timesonline.co.uk) (49)
(The Argus) Scary Woman falls 30 feet from window. Fortunately, wrought iron railing is there to keep her from hitting the ground  (theargus.co.uk) (73)
(indolent) Spiffy Here is your WTF headline for the day, "Naked man foils car theft, nabs suspect for Boulder police"  (coloradodaily.com) (48)
(Daily Mail) Cool Some of the coolest (and closest) Kansas tornado pics you'll see today  (dailymail.co.uk) (123)
(VillageSoup.com) Amusing Knock knock. Who's there? Aaron. Aaron who? Aaron the side of caution when answering the door  (knox.villagesoup.com) (25)
(Some Guy) PSA Goodwill asks that you remove the kitten before donating the couch (with awww pic)  (sanduskyregister.com) (59)
(Washington Post) Strange DC police seek man in wheelchair drive-by shooting. Suspect is well-armed  (washingtonpost.com) (31)
(Wilmington Star) Ironic Driving your friend's corpse around town for hours before taking him to the hospital? Just another day for a teenager living in the same NC county that gave us "Weekend at Bernie's"  (starnewsonline.com) (41)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this feline photography  (s.wsj.net) (36)
(Yahoo) Amusing 11-year-old boy fakes kidnapping to hide bad grades. Was that wrong? Should he not have done that?  (news.yahoo.com) (39)
(NPR) Sad Adulterers in Indonesian province can now be stoned, unlike the United States, where adultery occasionally follows getting stoned  (npr.org) (196)
(Boston Globe) Cool The coolest before and after pictures of hurricane damage you'll see today  (boston.com) (87)
(USA Today) Followup Body entombed in wall positively identified as missing Yale student. Cask of Amontillado still unaccounted for  T-Shirt  (usatoday.com) (230)

Mon September 14, 2009
(CBS New York) Interesting Swine flu police take over N.J. school district. Teachers ordered to forget about the curriculum and instead follow students around all day with wipes and sanitizer  (wcbstv.com) (111)
(The Consumerist) Ironic Grocery store decides the best way to raise money to fight diabetes is by selling root beer floats  (consumerist.com) (103)
(Gothamist) Cool What happens when you cross "Pee Wee's Big Adventure" with "Fight Club"  (gothamist.com) (173)
(TMZ) Sad Ghost  (tmz.com) (890)
(Some Japanese voodoo technology) Strange The Japanese Nightmare Factory is at it again. Click Change, then Upload, and use a pic that's taken straight on, then behold the Uncanny Valley in all it's glory  (labs.mppark.jp) (180)
(Some Guy) Sad If the coroner dies, who conducts the autopsy?  (host.madison.com) (120)
(FARK) Photoshop Theme: re-create classic works of art using modern culture  (fark.com) (120)
(Some Guy) Ironic Hey, germophobes: That shower is actually making you dirtier  (coloradodaily.com) (178)
(Some Guy) Scary Nature adopts new synergy-based business model as flesh-eating sharks drive tourists back towards beaches with flesh-eating bacteria  (medpagetoday.com) (40)
(ABC News) Dumbass Protip: If you leave your 6-year-old son in your car when you go to buy drugs, do not call the cops when you cannot remember where you parked  (abclocal.go.com) (38)
(Spike) Obvious Ranking the top ten white trash characters in movies. Surprisingly, #1 seals the deal  (spike.com) (375)
(BBC) Amusing This is even better than the time I used a cartoon lookalike in my election campaign  (bbc.co.uk) (46)
(KCRA 3) Obvious "Two parachutists die - no word on cause." Couldn't they at least say "gravity may have been involved?"  (kcra.com) (88)
(Sanity Preferred) Amusing 107 year old seeks to divorce 37 year old spouse. No, it's not Hugh Hefner  (sanitypreferred.blogspot.com) (59)
(Baltimore Sun) Dumbass Free all-you-can-eat crab feast on I-97 near Annapolis. Crabcake trifecta now in play  (baltimoresun.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Silly Now that schools across the country are using hand sanitizers to fight the swine flu, some people are worried kids will catch on fire and use it to get high  (chicagotribune.com) (73)
(Space) Cool Space Shuttle astronauts give us all a golden shower  (space.com) (84)
(ABC News) Followup First filed FEMA fight for formaldehyde fumes finally faces federal forum  (abcnews.go.com) (52)
(FARK) Plug Farker PattonX (Joe Peacock) got his funny book published. Drew wrote the foreword, so you know it's good. Lets make it No. 1 on Amazon  (amazon.com) (183)
(The New York Times) Amusing Woman boils lobsters for the first time, and it ends up like the final dream scene in "Deliverance"  (bitten.blogs.nytimes.com) (271)
(Washington Post) Asinine While there's no denying their play has caused pain and anguish to Washingtonians, considering the Nationals a terrorist organization, as the TSA apparently does, is a bit of a stretch.(2nd item)  (washingtonpost.com) (41)
(CBC) PSA Your kids will get asthma from your backyard pool, provided they don't drown in it first  (cbc.ca) (52)
(Drew) FarkBlog Drew sets the Fark Betting Line for this week and announces Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 9/6 - 9/12  (fark.com) (29)
(Local6) Obvious "News Media Credibility Plunges". Somebody should write a book about that  (justnews.com) (93)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Hoping to speed Idiocracy along, nationwide group attempts to ban all birth control in Florida  (blogs.orlandosentinel.com) (226)
(BBC) Interesting Two of Bermuda Triangle's most mysterious disappearances solved; actual cause was wrecktangle  T-Shirt  (news.bbc.co.uk) (72)
(CBC) Obvious Doctor says people need to be better informed of the risks they take when they use tanning beds, such as the danger of looking like a douche  (cbc.ca) (94)
(Baltimore Sun) Interesting Man consumes a staggering six crab cakes. And the crowd goes wild  (baltimoresun.com) (118)
(My Fox DC) Silly Today's 'animal in a convenience store caught on surveillance video' comes with an added bonus. Enter...the cowboy  (myfoxdc.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Florida Financially strapped districts consider selling naming rights to schools. Coming soon to a neighborhood near you: Pfizer Elementary  (news-journalonline.com) (113)
(This Is Plymouth) Cool Fisherman in trouble is rescued when two girls in their 20s strip down to their underwear to rescue him. Fisherman now expected to be in trouble every night at the same time for the next century  (thisisplymouth.co.uk) (152)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy Swedish department store installs cameras in changing rooms to facilitate pictures being uploaded to the internet straight away  (thelocal.se) (66)
(WCBS 880) Stupid Health Center forgets to tell pharmacy technician that a fake gunman would be bursting into her pharmacy demanding drugs for a hostage as part of a training exercise. What could possibly go wrong?  (wcbs880.com) (147)
(BBC) Interesting "Blade Runner" to appear in South African court. Observers predict the trial will drag on for much longer than it should, but still somehow generate a cult following  (news.bbc.co.uk) (332)
(New Scientist) Scary If there's one thing guaranteed to make Farkers sit up and take notice it's this: Climate change is ruining our beer  (newscientist.com) (85)
(Queensland Chronicle) Amusing Brothel open day attracts large crowds. A fun day out for the whole family  (thechronicle.com.au) (49)
(TSP) Dumbass Two asshats put a red and blue light on their car and make an emergency run to McDonalds. The State Trooper who saw him drive by was not amused  (thestarpress.com) (47)
(Yahoo) Interesting "On your right you can see the famous Teatro San Carlo built in 1737, and on your left is the alley where me and Jimmy No-nose whacked a guy in '96"  (news.yahoo.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Florida Despite anger management classes, kindergarten teaching might not be for you after six incidents of bashing your students  (justnews.com) (92)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these dangling diners  (s.wsj.net) (29)
(Metro) Strange When deciding on a getaway driver for your carefully planned jewel heist, never underestimate how useful it would be if he had arms  (metro.co.uk) (33)
(News.com.au) Obvious Travellers to Japan should be warned that the habitual groping on packed trains is rubbing off on more and more people  (news.com.au) (121)
(Google) Interesting Natural breast enlargements use fat from other areas of your body. "It was beautiful. We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them"  (google.com) (lots)
(UPI) Strange TSA seized items at New York's three airports include a baby alligator, a gassed-up chainsaw, unwashed adult toys and yes, even the kitchen sink  (upi.com) (75)
(Some Guy) PSA Just a word of advice: if you're going to burgle houses under the cover of darkness, don't do it while wearing a blaze orange safety vest covered with strips of reflective tape. Or be like this idiot. Your call  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk) (25)
(CNN) Followup Missing Yale student found in wall. Ceiling Cat afraid to go to bed  (cnn.com) (258)
(Republican American) Spiffy A baby fell out of a window/ you'd think that her head would be split/ but good luck was with her that morning/ for she fell in a pile of shhhrubbery  (rep-am.com) (54)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this fruit nirvana  (spiegel.de) (40)
(News.com.au) Amusing When you're drunk and pulling into a gas station to refuel a stolen car, you probably don't want to draw attention to yourself by having sex in the front seat  (news.com.au) (32)
(Independent) Cool Despite being smacked by a wombat, almost kidnapped in Iran, and surviving Delhi belly in India, a London cabinet-maker is set to become the fastest man to cycle around the world  (independent.co.uk) (35)
(MTV) Dumbass Kanye West bum-rushes the VMA stage, grabs the microphone from Taylor Swift during her acceptance speech, complains that Beyonce's video was better (working video clip in link)  (mtv.com) (½)
(AOL) Stupid Bar uses breathalyzer to make sure everyone gets home safely. Just kidding, they want to be sure you're wasted before you leave  (asylum.com) (54)

Displayed 341 of about 1514 links -- join TotalFark to see them all