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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun September 27, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The New York Times) Stupid "Ms. Tan...was worried that her children might one day also have to face life in a place without someone at their beck and call." Crimea ain't just a river in Ukraine  (nytimes.com) (99)
(Some Guy) Unlikely First, Obama came for our banks, and we called him a socialist. Then Obama came for our health care, and we called him a Nazi. Finally, Obama came for our kids' summer vacation, and we were silent  (mygloss.com) (430)
(Record Online (NY)) Hero 109-year-old woman...damn straight she drinks...tries soccer for the first time, puts the ball in the back of the net - and thankfully without either collapsing to the ground in hysteria or pulling a Brandi Chastain  (recordonline.com) (39)
(CBS San Francisco) Dumbass Man climbs into the Grizzly Bear exhibit at the San Francisco Zoo while Chuck Darwin apparently naps  (cbs5.com) (65)
(ABC News) Stupid Wildlife officials instruct a bunch of gun-fearing environmentalist limousine liberals to "be mean to bears." Yes, that's an actual quote. What could possibly go wrong?  (abcnews.go.com) (169)
(Google) Amusing Pope urges Europe to remember its Christian heritage in order to cope with rising immigration from other cultures. Except from 1095 to the end of the Spanish Inquisition in 1834. Oh, and when Germany went on vacation in 1939  (google.com) (169)
(Some Fishy Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this wonderfish  (upload.wikimedia.org) (36)
(Fox News) Interesting The cost of steak and kidney pie is about to go through the roof  (foxnews.com) (53)
(France24) Unlikely Old and busted: Environmentally friendly houses. New hotness: Environmentally friendly tree houses  (france24.com) (29)
(Some Comic) Interesting Doonesbury Godwins itself  (images.ucomics.com) (274)
(News.com.au) Weird You may know it as Vegemite, but others know it as iSnack2.0  (news.com.au) (133)
(YouTube) Amusing I see your "cool parents" link, and shoot it to hell with your parents' video dating clips  (youtube.com) (78)
(Dayton Daily News) Silly Men's-only knitting circle: "There's more swearing, but everything else is the same."  (daytondailynews.com) (147)
(Reuters) NewsFlash Nixon speechwriter, NY Times columnist William Safire dead at 79. G'night funnyman  (reuters.com) (160)
(Cracked) Spiffy Seven dogs that accomplished more than we did. Dog that dialed 911 absent from the list  (cracked.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Obvious Scientists at MIT have created a hybrid microchip smaller and faster than today's processors. This is a repeat from 18 months ago, 18 months before that, 18 months before that, 18 months before that, 18 months before that, 18  (computerworld.co.nz) (92)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Gmail user, who was sent a spreadsheet full of financial data by mistake, will have his account deactivated and all of his personal information revealed to the bank. Well, at least we know where Google stands on this  (consumerist.com) (187)
(Minnesota Daily) Stupid St Paul looks to hold landlords responsible for underage drinking in their rental properties. Maybe the city council should look to hold the council members responsible for underage drinking in their precincts  (mndaily.com) (65)
(Guardian.com) Obvious College students are using ADD drugs to allow working 24 hours a day, says an article long enough to require taking the drugs to finish  (guardian.co.uk) (208)
(bikecommuters.com) Spiffy Training wheels are soon to be a thing of the past. Gyroscopes, is anything not improved by installing one?  (bikecommuters.com) (111)
(Mental Floss) Photoshop Photoshop this tired robot  (wwwc.mentalfloss.com) (32)
(CBS 4 Denver) Spiffy Famous German polar bear now old enough that keepers have found him a girl bear so he can get a Knut  (cbs4denver.com) (34)
(Some Cool Dad) Spiffy Photographic evidence that your parents were cool once  (myparentswereawesome.tumblr.com) (165)
(Venice Florida dot com) Florida Cop arrests his supervisor's nephew for DUI; Does said cop -- A) Get praise for a job well done, B) Get counseled for not playing by the rules, or C) Get framed by fellow cops for destroying police documents?  (venfl.com) (68)
(Some Guy) Misc Hawking says asteroids are biggest threat. Everybody scoot  T-Shirt  (dailygalaxy.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Cool A masked man who wouldn't identify himself passes out brownies on Central Square. "Let's just say they're freshly baked," he said (w/pic)  (sentinelsource.com) (98)
(Courier Times) Dumbass Cops show up with a warrant for man who fileshared kiddie porn, find him "striking his computer with a metal bar." Bad, bad computer  (phillyburbs.com) (174)
(BBC) Unlikely Council plans to ban "vertical drinking" in order to combat binge drinking. Seeing as most binge drinkers end up horizontal soon enough anyway, it seems rather pointless  (news.bbc.co.uk) (36)
(Some Guy) Obvious Anti-bacterial soaps will kill us all. More at 11, if you're still here  (willtaft.com) (71)
(CNN) Interesting Iran to test surface-to-surface Photoshop ability Sunday. Scary and obvious tag seen seeking shelter  (cnn.com) (42)
(About.com) PSA Yom Kippur starts at sundown. Subby apologizes for all his trolling headlines and comments  (judaism.about.com) (113)
(BBC) NewsFlash Roman Polanski finally arrested on that outstanding warrant  (news.bbc.co.uk) (663)
(Reuters) Sad Turks mourn loss of Ottoman, put their feet down and consider pulling the coffee table closer  T-Shirt  (reuters.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Fail Do not taunt dynamite bank robber. w/vid  (deredactie.be) (45)
(Canoe) Fail Thieves looking for a buzz steal a big bag full of hemp buds from biologist's research farm. Hemp, not marijuana - let us know how that works out for you  (cnews.canoe.ca) (62)
(Herald Banner) Weird Sneeze fetishist in custody over double-pepper assault  (heraldbanner.com) (34)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this freaky facial  (spiegel.de) (34)
(Google) Sad 121 children hospitalized with lead poisoning in China live near battery plant. Doctors report half positive, half negative, one discharged  T-Shirt  (google.com) (110)
(MSNBC) Sad Here she goes again: former Celebrity Rehab patient Tawny Kitaen arrested for DUI  (msnbc.msn.com) (139)
(CBS 4 Denver) Asinine Ever wonder how much that pill you take at home would cost if you were in the hospital? Wonder no more  (cbs4denver.com) (575)

Sat September 26, 2009
(Daily Mail) Stupid Nanny State states Nannies not Nannies because they're not State-Approved Nannies  (dailymail.co.uk) (41)
(Wired) Scary Why does the Census Bureau use GPS? Why, to launch Predator Drone missiles against undesirables in the US, of course. Scary tag chosen because Insane tag doesn't exist  (wired.com) (389)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this beer barrel  (inapcache.boston.com) (33)
(NJ.com) Interesting Newspapers and porn share economic bind: free content on internet causes dwindling sales, falling profits, increased "workload"  (nj.com) (70)
(Examiner) Sad Disney World stops selling all-beef hot dogs. Pluto and Goofy reported missing  (examiner.com) (109)
(Denver Channel) Followup Woman admits giving her tail to teen boy she met at "furry" gathering. With pic that shows why she dressed as a furry  (thedenverchannel.com) (169)
(Some Guy) Scary If you're gushing blood through a nipple, you should "reasonably know an emergency does not exist". Claim denied  (kcbs.com) (261)
(News.com.au) Cool Not your average tattoo thread ... great pix from this years London Tattoo Convention  (news.com.au) (356)
(The Sun) Silly Cops mistake man in costume for escaped gorilla  (thesun.co.uk) (41)
(Daily Mail) Fail Not News: Prison installs hand gel dispensers to prevent swine flu. Fark: Prisoners immediately make hooch from the alcohol based gel and start fights  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(The Earth Times) Interesting Australian town bans bottled water. Who controls Bartertown?  (earthtimes.org) (64)
(Fox News) Strange Preacher, Christian mime, reality TV star accused of murdering his porn star girlfriend. Sorry, it doesn't get any weirder than that  (foxnews.com) (100)
(Fox News) Interesting New survey says 84% of women have sex to get housework done. Other 16% already busy in the kitchen  (foxnews.com) (117)
(Canada.com) Stupid Tot booted from bus because crying distracted driver, with cute pic of offender  (timescolonist.com) (181)
(Wall Street Journal) Amusing "If Pittsburghers seem a bit blasé about the protesters, maybe it's because they have experienced 17 consecutive losing seasons with the Pirates. That's anarchy."  (online.wsj.com) (51)
(Statesman) Interesting Austin police are ready to start suing people who pretend to be other people online. I say bring it on, punks. --Drew  (statesman.com) (95)
(Some Guy) Strange Judge orders unruly Pomeranian out of Aspen. If the dog is seen in town again it will be put to death  (goerie.com) (59)
(AJC) Silly Judge finds vegans' rights violated, awards them $4 for their trouble  (ajc.com) (84)
(Some Gui) Amusing A woman was arrested when authorities seized about 130 pounds of marijuana sent from California to Maui last month. Wait, TO Maui?? Isn't that doing it wrongly?  (mauinews.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Hospital had NO IDEA that having an employee hand out bananas dressed as a gorilla while "Hail to the Chief" played in the background would generate offense. Oops, our bad  (thetandd.com) (161)
(Buffalo News) Strange Athletes on a girl's soccer team busted for a hazing incident where they threw eggs, flour, and raw meat at new players. "I think the kids felt that this was just good, wholesome pranking"  (buffalonews.com) (56)
(AL.com) Amusing Thief makes off with 112 Lortab and a boiled egg. Somehow, the boiled egg is newsworthy  (blog.al.com) (40)
(UPI) Interesting Most U.S. diabetics are in the South. Deep fried Coca-Cola unavailable for comment  (upi.com) (127)
(Some Guy) Interesting Fall is just around the corner, so the nation's attention turns to the competitive world of ginormous pumpkin growing  (yourhome.ca) (35)
(CBS Baltimore) PSA Maryland $peed camera$ coming October 1$t. For your $afety citizen  (wjz.com) (173)
(Google) Followup Census worker found hanged was bound and gagged, his hands, wrists and feet wrapped in duct tape, "FED" written on his chest and his Census ID taped to his neck. But sure, it COULD have been an accident or suicide  (google.com) (350)
(BBC) Asinine "Police have begun an investigation into reports an officer was seen eating a sausage roll at the wheel of a patrol car"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (61)
(Collector's Weekly) Unlikely Think that old spittoon Grampa left you is worth a gazillion bucks? Here is a trip behind the scenes at "Antiques Roadshow", so you know what to expect  (collectorsweekly.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Interesting Punjabi set to become the fourth most-spoken language in Canada after English, French and that polyglottal mess that people born in Newfoundland grunt out  (manoramaonline.com) (74)
(CBC) Scary Brigitte Bardot urges world to protest seal hunt by hitting Canada where it will hurt the most: a global boycott on maple syrup  (cbc.ca) (100)
(Some Guy) Amusing "Leduc RCMP are looking for the owners of 20 lawn ornaments after perhaps the least consequential crime spree in Alberta history"  (edmontonjournal.com) (24)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these potato-picking people  (s.wsj.net) (33)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Obvious Principal .Caught sayof school that has stoped Standandizedtest "See, successful Hispanic kids" Is He lying or not. ACLU says yes. Star-Telegram Looking for chads -OR- "hello, I am kids not responsible and wait for again"  (star-telegram.com) (75)
(Some Guy) Scary The MSM gives the Wheel of Media Fearmongering™ a spin and settles on school drinking water, which is full of pesticides and toxins and will surely kill your children  (wbaltv.com) (27)
(Some DEA Propogandist) Unlikely DEA: 95% of Americans do not use drugs. 2008: More than 6.5% of US population arrested for pot. Apparently they caught every smoker in the country - and then some  (usdoj.gov) (215)
(Some Guy) Florida Court rules it's perfectly legal to smash your roommate in the head with the butt of a shotgun if you catch him having sex with your 16-year-old daughter  (dailycommercial.com) (122)
(BBC) Dumbass Woman makes the most expensive ATM stop ever  (news.bbc.co.uk) (74)
(LA Times) Scary Tiny asian insects with giant penises threaten to fark California's $1.6 billion citrus industry. Penis  (latimes.com) (33)
(BBC) Asinine Libraries in Nanny State prohibit scissors in case patrons use them to stab librarians  (news.bbc.co.uk) (44)
(WGME.com) Dumbass Jogger says f#@k New Hampshire, he'll f#@cking run in Maine  (wgme.com) (47)
(NJ.com) PSA If you're the kind of guy that likes to relax on your hammock while eating a few apricots and sip Children's Tylenol, you may want to read this article  (nj.com) (29)
(The Scotsman) Obvious Scottish man slapped with court order prohibiting him from shouting, swearing or fighting with his neighbors, even though in most parts of Scotland that's how people say 'Good morning'  (news.scotsman.com) (43)
(Tufts Daily) Asinine Tufts U. tells dorm residents they can't have sex while roommate is present. Special exemption for threesomes  (tuftsdaily.com) (88)
(Cracked) Amusing Five awesome cases of the internet pwning the MSM  (cracked.com) (61)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Woman tries to sell her six year old son to a trucker in exchange for gas money. There's a reason why Florida has its own tag  (wtsp.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Dumbass For Chrissakes, officer. Just pay for the farkin' bagel already  (citizensvoice.com) (97)
(Real American Hero) Hero Intoxicated man is refused alcohol at VFW post. Intoxicated man goes outside, lowers American flag that flew over U.S. foxhole in Iraq, sets it on fire. Then things get all duct-tapey  (vfw.org) (150)
(Wall Street Journal) Caption Caption these lyrical latinas  (online.wsj.com) (39)
(WickedLocal) Interesting "Stinky" the cat reunited with its owners (who thought they had buried "Stinky" three weeks ago) just in time for a Zombie Caturday  (wickedlocal.com) (959)
(CBS New York) Scary Today's "disclosure of amateur sex tape saves five men from being prosecuted on bogus gang rape charges" brought to you by Hofstra University  (wcbstv.com) (237)
(News 10 ABC Sacramento) Dumbass Black lady upset because "black lady big fat" was written on her gas station receipt. Tag is for gas station attendant  (news10.net) (106)
(Some Guy) Misc Woman cashes in winning lottery ticket 8 hours before it expired. Well, I guess now she can afford to procrastinate  (nbc29.com) (19)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop how these guys roll  (s.wsj.net) (21)
(AJC) Ironic Canoe restaurant closed due to flooding  (ajc.com) (14)
(MSNBC) Scary 1 in 4 teens crash own car... remaining 3 crash into your car  (msnbc.msn.com) (56)
(CBC) Cool Blind cyclist going to make a 400km journey, Don't tell him he's going to be sitting on an exercise bike for 3 days  (cbc.ca) (30)
(New York Daily News) Stupid If you end up getting beaten up by six women your first time trying karaoke, maybe singing is not really your thing (with mugshots)  (nydailynews.com) (141)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Fake psychologist charged with freud  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (63)
(Daily Mail) Stupid Nanny State threatens to jail a woman who uprooted a dead flower. "The girls were very upset at the idea their mum might be going to prison."  (dailymail.co.uk) (83)
(KRMG) Dumbass After Penny eggs Benedict into giving chase, Penny crosses the center line and becomes a pancake. Won't make it home for the hollandaise. Mmmm, breakfast  T-Shirt  (krmg.com) (31)

Fri September 25, 2009
(WTMJ) Amusing Not news: Sheboygan mayor videotaped in a bar having the balls to remark about his sister-in-law. News: Apologizes in news conference. Fark: Wife follows up, informing the public that husband's balls will no longer be a problem  (todaystmj4.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this real life Hypnotoad  (imgur.com) (43)
(Gawker) Amusing Nobody expects the Spanish goth maidens  (gawker.com) (210)
(CBC) Ironic "Concerned Christians" decide to make themselves the laughingstock of Canada  (cbc.ca) (223)
(Reuters) Unlikely U.S. consumers say spending habits changed for good. Eating habits not so much  (reuters.com) (64)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you're a 5' 3" tall Canadian woman who wiped the floor with the Coldstream Guards in a bar brawl, the British authorities would like to have a word with you  (ottawacitizen.com) (184)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing You know who else was in TSGs weekly mug shot line up?  (thesmokinggun.com) (188)
(9 News) Scary Newest threat to existence in Colorado: insane elk  (9news.com) (75)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Woman successfully fights back after being attacked by alligator by sticking a finger in its eye. However, "her dog took off running"  (tampabay.com) (53)
(CNN) Sad U.S. seeing rise in female homeless veterans, which is surprising because there are still so many unoccupied kitchens  (cnn.com) (106)
(Some Guy) Strange Police find in motorist's trunk 216 parakeets, 300 white mice, 150 hamsters, 30 Japanese squirrels, six chameleons, 1,000 terrapins and a partridge in a pear tree  (myabc50.com) (76)
(AFP) Followup Interpreter for Libyan leader Kadhafi's rambling speech at the UN collapses after 75 minutes, apparently got lost in translation  (news.yahoo.com) (80)
(The Sun) Scary If you like spiders, we've got some good news for you. If you don't like spiders, we've got some bad news for you  (thesun.co.uk) (188)
(BBC) Asinine Lunch lady sacked for telling parents that their kid was getting tied to a fence and whipped. What a bunch of baloney  (news.bbc.co.uk) (87)
(CNN) Interesting Good news everyone, researchers have discovered a way to beam advertisements directly into our brains  (cnn.com) (71)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this horrendous hair  (spiegel.de) (62)
(Denver Channel) Obvious "Tree Fairy" accused of raising wood on neighbors' properties  (thedenverchannel.com) (98)
(Some Guy) Cool Coolest satellite image of circular crop fields you will see all day  (eatmedaily.com) (179)
(Some Chick) Fail Police chase Bozo the boxer around a school yard full of playing children until the cops decide to ramp the fun up a notch and shoot the dog  (nbcdfw.com) (329)
(MSN) Cool Cankles are in this season. Moobs are out  (specials.msn.com) (283)
(IndyStar) Scary "Vehicle crashes into house, disappears." Pentagon unavailable for comment  T-Shirt  (indystar.com) (86)
(Statesman) Amusing Cleptonecropornophilia. Yeah, you know you're clicking on this  (statesman.com) (143)
(Some Guy) Obvious Groundhogs are taking the heat for zombie holes in the cemetery  (www2.tricities.com) (55)
(CBC) Dumbass Jamaican man charged with hijacking plane full of passengers at gunpoint tries out the "I didn't know hijacking was illegal" defence  (cbc.ca) (68)
(Some Superhero) Hero Superhero Smackdown: Captain America vs Wonder Woman  (thecorrectness.com) (384)
(NJ.com) Fail Town tries to block porn convention with a new zoning ordinance. Since this is Fark, you know how this ends  (nj.com) (299)
(MSNBC) Interesting Study shows children who are spanked become less intelligent adults. Now I must write something funny?  (msnbc.msn.com) (670)
(WHIO) Asinine School lockdown canceled after someone realized there were no students to lock down  (newstalkradiowhio.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting Scientists confirm existence of superheavy element 114, acknowledge inability to think up supercool names for short-lived artificial elements  (dailyindia.com) (211)
(My Fox DC) Strange Why, I must say, ever since we arrived at bullfight I've had a burning desire for a gay soft drink  (myfoxdc.com) (104)
(Reuters) Amusing Man sues Bank of America for 1,784 Billion, Trillion Dollars. Seriously  (reuters.com) (157)
(CNN) Fail You've got to face facts, man. Flying really low over her house and dropping leaflets calling her a skank is not going to bring her back  (cnn.com) (95)
(NBC10) Amusing Cherry Hill, NJ terrorized by roving gang of.... turkeys?  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (81)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing TSG's Friday Photo Fun. Match the criminal with the occupation. Contest ends at 4pm Eastern. Let's give them a thorough Farking like last week  (thesmokinggun.com) (112)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Todays *facepalm* robbery is brought to you by Duluth,GA. Armed robber forces store clerk to give him three bags of used lottery tickets  (gwinnettdailypost.com) (47)
(CBS 46) Florida Why don't you have a seat over there, so we can discuss your lease  (cbsatlanta.com) (137)
(Some Guy) Followup Why people prone to drunken anger probably shouldn't drive Rolls-Royces (pic)  (heraldscotland.com) (61)
(WFTV) Scary Kissimmee considering changing its name to Owitsstingingmee  T-Shirt  (wftv.com) (43)
(News24) Dumbass The lunatic who decided to spend 121 days with 40 venomous snakes didn't see the puff adder that bit him because he was too busy teasing the mamba  (news24.com) (62)
(WSOC) Dumbass Robber: "Please give me the gun back. It's not my gun and I'll leave"  (wsoctv.com) (92)
(Some Books) Photoshop Photoshop this pondering purchaser  (wvs.topleftpixel.com) (35)
(WTAM) Amusing Politics at its best: Cross-dressing pictures of East Cleveland mayor released just days before primary election. (with pics)  (wtam.com) (176)
(Jalopnik) Dumbass Drug-addled masturbating truck driver continues yanking his crank through multi-car pileup, EMT attention, police interrogation. Now that's determination  (jalopnik.com) (120)
(Some Guy) Scary Tylenol issues recall due to poisionous contamination. This is not a repeat from 1982  (news-press.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Interesting Dispute over donkey leads to knifing, proving once again that you always have to watch your ass  T-Shirt  (thecourier.co.uk) (25)
(Telegraph) Silly The whole "extreme sports" fad has officially jumped the shark now that there's an extreme pogo athlete. "I am so keen to push the pogo stick out there"  (telegraph.co.uk) (94)
(Some Guy) Interesting Study by insurance company reveals that computer engineers are the worst drivers, while farmers are the best. Program crash joke line forms here  (churchill.com) (139)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass What's more embarrassing? These celebrity yearbook pictures or the fact that HuffPo considers itself a valid news source?  (huffingtonpost.com) (118)
(CBS 2 Lost Angeles) Sad What kind of world do we live in when strip clubs are being replaced by parking lots?  (cbs2.com) (66)
(City of Wasilla) Photoshop Photoshop a flag for the City of Wasilla  (cityofwasilla.com) (44)
(670 The Score) Boobies As the new Fall TV season debuts, 2009 marks the 20th anniversary since "Baywatch" hit the air  (670thescore.com) (164)

Thu September 24, 2009
(AJC) PSA Joe Biden will visit flood-ravaged Atlanta this weekend. Haven't they suffered enough?  (ajc.com) (78)
(MSNBC) Cool Jury tells family who got a free FEMA trailer that they're already slackers, so no ringing the lawsuit cash register for them  (msnbc.msn.com) (169)
(Washington Post) News Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg taken to hospital  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (246)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida "The firefighters got into Fire Rescue 5, opened the garage doors, fired up the lights and sirens, pulled out - and ran over the injured person"  (tampabay.com) (63)
(AL.com) Interesting A biblically-inspired gathering in Alabama scheduled for this weekend has "veered slightly off course" now just a drug fueled orgy. Y'all come  (al.com) (127)
(The Frisky) Interesting 15 pearls for women who are bad at dating, such as not giving a guy a business card. "I have never ever had a guy call me after handing him my business card-- and I handed out all 250"  (thefrisky.com) (712)
(Philly) Obvious "Sex with cows is the least of the suspended cop's problems" (mugshot)  (philly.com) (162)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Where were you when the lights went out?  (wyckoffschools.org) (64)
(Gothamist) Cool This story has everything. A giant old fish. Someone getting hit by a bus. A holocaust survivor, a pizzaman that swears like a sailor  (gothamist.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Ironic The Pantyhose Bandit is on the run  (thedailytimes.com) (46)
(CNN) Cool 250 years ago, Arthur Guinness signed a 9000 year lease to bring us the best beer ever. BRILLIANT  (money.cnn.com) (276)
(AOL) Dumbass School that decided Obama speech was too political shows propaganda film of Muslims beheading infidels as educational exercise  (news.aol.com) (519)
(The Tennessean) Amusing Tennessee invaded by thousands of Canadian geese that crap all over everything and make sports fields unusable, forcing authorities to advice Tennesseans, "Don't chase the geese and don't look up with your mouth open"  (tennessean.com) (165)
(This is Nottingham) Obvious Sheriff of Nottingham uses taxpayers' money to visit US. If only there was a folk hero who would stand up for the common man in situations like this  T-Shirt  (thisisnottingham.co.uk) (112)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Apparently not understanding concepts like "unlawful detention" and "violation of privacy", Ikea begins checking receipts at the door  (consumerist.com) (710)
(The Sun) Strange Despite diseases, highly venomous spiders and flooding, tunnel people are living in giant drains underneath Las Vegas  (thesun.co.uk) (177)
(ABC News) Cool News that a new drug may slow the progression of Parkinson's Disease has sufferers trembling with excitement  (abcnews.go.com) (74)
(MSNBC) Unlikely UN unanimiously votes to rid the world of nuclear weapons. Well, that's that then  (msnbc.msn.com) (325)
(BBC) Cool Largest ever Anglo-Saxon gold hoard discovered in Staffordshire by old man with metal detector  (news.bbc.co.uk) (111)
(Some Guy) Fail Fisherman lost in heavy fog calls 911 & fires flares to get help. Man who's house he was in front of points out that the river is only 200 yards wide & sends him on his way  (wcpo.com) (84)
(Yahoo) Stupid "Can I Recycle Wine Corks?" Answer: Sure -- they're great for diarrhea, saving dams, cleaning out navel lint and shutting up the cat  (news.yahoo.com) (136)
(Q13 Fox Seattle) Cool Undercover news report on bikini coffee stands: "She proceeded to drop her bottoms, flash her vagina, then turn around, spread her cheeks and flash her rear." Now if you'll excuse me, I need a cup of coffee (with video goodness)  (q13fox.com) (427)
(Some Guy) Sappy There are very few phrases in the English language that promise 'cute' quite the way that the words 'baby meerkats' do. Here's the proof (pic)  (yourlocalguardian.co.uk) (78)
(ABC News) Interesting At least nine out of 10 Americans have had premarital sex. So that means for every virgin, someone is having a three-way  T-Shirt  (abcnews.go.com) (331)
(ABC News) Weird Pregnant woman gets pregnant again 2 1/2 weeks after getting pregnant the first time  (abcnews.go.com) (171)
(The Local (Sweden)) Strange Explanation for nurse bursting into flames involves hand cream, a patient's synthetic pants, and stroking the dog  (thelocal.se) (41)
(PennLive) Weird You can now be charged with harassment if you drop a toothpick on the sidewalk in Pennsylvania. Just ask this newly-minted felon  (pennlive.com) (86)
(The Sun News) Fail #3 on the list of 'How not to ask her to marry you': Infant Sea Turtle Massacre  (thesunnews.com) (212)
(BBC) Dumbass "Watt had devised the scheme to get home but in the cold light of day it was "beyond them" how they had expected it to succeed. "  (news.bbc.co.uk) (30)
(Economist) Sad Once again, America leads by example  (ow.ly) (391)
(Washington Post) Asinine When they came for the Hummers, I said nothing because I drive an '86 Honda. When they came for the bottled water, I said nothing because I drink beer. Then they came for the toilet paper  (washingtonpost.com) (292)
(My Fox DC) Strange "In these tough times, lots of folks are losing their cars to the repo-man. Including the cops"  (myfoxdc.com) (31)
(UPI) Strange Items stolen from British hotels include towels, toiletries, light fixtures, sex toys and a stuffed wild boar's head. "Beyond the usual things...the most frequently stolen items were our sex toys"  (upi.com) (110)
(National Post) Obvious Why we need a National Punctuation Day to improve, our grammer  (network.nationalpost.com) (93)
(SLTrib) Stupid "It's been a long hard year for our family," said the man on trial for polygamy, after charges were dropped faster than six very plain dresses on a warm Sabbath eve  (sltrib.com) (68)
(NewsMax) Interesting New study finds Fox News "the most trusted" TV network  (newsmax.com) (258)
(Hartford Courant) Interesting New study finds Fox News "the least trusted" TV network  (blogs.courant.com) (68)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: A dean, a queen, and a bean. Optional extra: a spleen  (acm.uiuc.edu) (43)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Deputy fired after smacking female cop on the butt and showing up for work drunk is now suing - saying his drinking is a "disability" and he has a "propensity to black out"  (wtsp.com) (178)
(Deadspin) Fail On second thought, maybe creating a Halloween scene that reenacts Steve McNair's murder scene WASN'T such a great idea  (deadspin.com) (93)
(CBC) Ironic Getting a regular flu shot may increase your chances of getting H1N1. Thanks, science  (cbc.ca) (108)
(CLICKOrlando) Florida Who can fight crime in Florida? The garbage man, the garbage man can  (clickorlando.com) (31)
(MSNBC) Cool HIVaccine?  (msnbc.msn.com) (274)
(News.com.au) Obvious Your doctor might be a quack if he says he can cure cancer with organic coffee enemas or vaginal blowing  (news.com.au) (84)
(Miami Herald) Florida More and more employers are investigating why their employees are out of shape, and they've come to the conclusion that the long hours, desk work, and unhealthy snack choices still aren't their fault  (miamiherald.com) (150)
(News.com.au) Obvious The N.S. Sherlock Research Institute has found that women are less inhibited in the sack when they're drunk  (news.com.au) (153)
(News.com.au) Sad Historian details some of the more ingenious methods used by soldiers to GTFO of the trenches in WWI, including intentionally catching VD and chewing on explosives  (news.com.au) (104)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fuse cutout  (made-in-china.com) (31)
(Des Moines Register) Obvious Iowa decides the best way to earn money is by offering tax credits to filmmakers. However, they did not expect them to buy cars, clothes, or other toys, and $363 million later, Iowa sees their cunning plan wasn't thought out  (desmoinesregister.com) (65)
(Abc.net.au) Spiffy More couples are choosing IVF. Not to have multiple births, but to insure the perfect child. This is not a repeat of 6565  (abc.net.au) (93)
(1010WINS) Obvious New York discovers that if you tax the hell out of the rich, they will use their money to move to someplace that doesn't  (1010wins.com) (331)
(SB Sun) Interesting Group is upset about billboards in Spanish. "It is incumbent upon all Americans that when you see a decadence arise that will threaten our language rise to the occasion, alert the people." Aprenda hablar inglés, buttheads  (sbsun.com) (420)
(Some Guy) Weird Um... well, I don't really know what this is but, it is cool in a kind of freaky way  (moresoon.org) (129)
(Yahoo) Interesting If you've been planning on stockpiling bottled water, guns, and ammo for the coming zombie apocalypse, I've got some bad news about that last item  (news.yahoo.com) (341)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 229: "A Day Late and a Dollar Short." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (117)

Wed September 23, 2009
(Hartford Courant) Dumbass Phenomenal collection of the world's worst tattoos. Sure it's a slideshow, but it's worth it  (courant.com) (318)
(Some Guy) Stupid 49.6% of Americans want the swine flu vaccine. In other news, 50.4% of Americans are idiots  (webmd.com) (390)
(Telegraph) Scary More proof God is dead: snake with a foot growing out of it found clinging to a bedroom wall  (telegraph.co.uk) (181)
(SFGate) Sick Census worker found hung, with the word "fed" scrawled into his chest. Hey, at least we know he ate before he died  T-Shirt  (sfgate.com) (945)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this reflecting theater  (s.wsj.net) (46)
(IndyStar) Strange One killed, one injured in dice game. Next round of Calvinball gets more confusing  (indystar.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Cool 10 buildings that should fall over  (weburbanist.com) (151)
(Yahoo) Interesting Testing everything from sprout resistance to shrinkage and unsightly dark splotches that crop up on fry ends  (news.yahoo.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Florida Florida man dies while diving for golf balls. Police think he died because of the fact that the oxygen tank and the mask were in his car and not on him  (floridatoday.com) (63)
(Four Four) Amusing An epic compilation of the mostly commonly used film plot device: "There's no signal"  (fourfour.typepad.com) (105)
(Time) Stupid How to violate HIPAA laws in 140 characters or less  (time.com) (122)
(WBBM) Fail If you are going to make secret videotapes of strangers in tanning booths, they should probably not be able to see you  (wbbm780.com) (59)
(Some Wilbur) Amusing The most exciting thing to happen in Iowa since...well, ever: a pig manages to escape a truck and roam I-80 (w/slideshow of the excitement)  (press-citizen.com) (67)
(Some Guy) Stupid "Grocery union workers expected to reject lastest offer," say they want morer money and the mostest benefits  (gazette.com) (154)
(Snopes) Followup FARK's "Earn your own entry on Snopes.com" makes Snopes.com  (snopes.com) (179)
(AFP) Scary Indonesian woman gives birth to whopping big baby. With pic of child who apparently ate the baby  (news.yahoo.com) (103)
(New Zealand Herald) Scary Woman attacked by a large water rat that she mistook for her cat. "It was about nine inches long, very round and cuddly ... well, violent, actually."  (nzherald.co.nz) (93)
(Salon) Sick In 1986 when Glenn Beck was on a Morning Zoo radio show he called the wife of a coworker and joked about her miscarriage three days before  (salon.com) (740)
(BBC) Cool Amazing pics of Mars. I mean Sydney  (news.bbc.co.uk) (123)
(Daily Pilot) Weird "This will make me the chief of my tribe" said the man shortly before being sedated and having firefighters cut the inch thick steel ring from his swollen and blackened penis  (dailypilot.com) (141)
(The Morning Call) Weird Man admits throwing fruits and vegetables at cars for six months, won't be able to beet the charges  (mcall.com) (60)
(Philly) Strange $1000 reward offered for identity of inventor of innovative cat hairball mitigation technique  (philly.com) (105)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Should I not have started a dog fighting ring at my daycare facility? Was that wrong?  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (71)
(My Fox DC) PSA Correction. Money can buy happiness  (myfoxdc.com) (82)
(PumpkinRot.com) Scary DO NOT oil the Tin Man  (pumpkinrot.com) (95)
(CityRag) Spiffy There's no such thing as lesbian "demotivational" posters  (cityrag.com) (483)
(Some Library) Photoshop Photoshop this 1940's foyer  (shorpy.com) (47)
(AZCentral) Obvious Thumb Butte Festival features artists, writers, performance groups, UFIA  (azcentral.com) (67)
(OK! Magazine) Dumbass Department store starts selling left-handed pants: 'In our view this is a vital step toward equality'  (ok.co.uk) (126)
(Des Moines Register) Asinine State of Iowa will not take the driver's license from a 79 year-old man who ran over and killed a bicylcist and fled the scene, because he's innocent until proven guilty, and he did pass his last eye exam  (desmoinesregister.com) (178)
(Telegraph) Interesting If you woke up this morning wondering, could you stand a monkey on a goat on a jar on a rope, the Telegraph has your answer  (telegraph.co.uk) (73)
(AZCentral) Weird In November, Sheriff Joe Arpaio arrested a county supervisor and charged him with 118 counts. Those were basically all dropped by last week. So he arrests him again on 85 new charges. And no prosecutor in the state will take the case  (azcentral.com) (288)
(BBC) Amusing Spotted dick is back on the menu in Britain after public outrage forces council to reverse its order stating that it must now be referred to as 'Spotted Richard'  (news.bbc.co.uk) (88)
(Some Guy) Amusing 20 Reasons Why Sharks are Better than Cats  (thesharkguys.com) (86)
(CNN) Obvious Over half the nation's mobile homes are in the south. The other half are in the north  (money.cnn.com) (111)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Woman "mule kicks" officer in the groin. I bet she feels like an ass  (mcall.com) (25)
(The Register) Cool Like a bad porn movie scene, Swedish female soldiers are finding their bras burst open after too much exercise forcing the women to disrobe in the field to refasten their bras. TTIUWOP  (theregister.co.uk) (299)
(3 News New Zealand) Interesting Sophisticate to solidify sex-sorted single-sire semen this season. Simple  (3news.co.nz) (20)
(BBC) Cool 'Fingerprints' identify cheetahs. Impalas hoping to reduce violent crime by 2015  (news.bbc.co.uk) (38)
(FARK) Photoshop Theme: The movie they should have made, not the movie they actually made  (fark.com) (66)
(The Sun) Scary Enough is *enough.* I HAVE HAD IT WITH THESE MONKEY-FIGHTING SHARKS ON THIS MONDAY-TO-FRIDAY PLANE  (thesun.co.uk) (31)
(Some Guy) Obvious Defense contractor has winning Ebay bid of $63,500 for dinner with Sarah Palin  (alaskadispatch.com) (126)
(BBC) Amusing University professor sparks firestorm by claiming the presence of female students with big boobs "is a perk of the job"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (503)
(Metro) Weird It's a SFW X-ray of a 6-inch knife embedded in a woman's buttock, your argument is invalid  (metro.co.uk) (115)
(Ventura County Star) Scary Latest LA-area fire blamed on spontaneous combustion of cow manure. And that's no bull  (venturacountystar.com) (30)
(CBS Sacramento) Fail Police department discovers that their fancy new mobile command center worth $500,000 is illegal to drive in their state  (cbs13.com) (99)
(KnoxNews) Sick Is it really a "happy ending" if the hooker is 63?  (knoxnews.com) (77)
(Belleville News-Democrat) Obvious Not news: Hitchhiker catches a lift. News: While drunk and carrying a stolen chainsaw. Fark: And is driven directly to jail by the deputy who picks him up  (bnd.com) (16)
(Spiegel) Cool Ugly-ass baby rhinoceros born in German zoo (with ugly-ass pictures)  (spiegel.de) (13)
(Wired) Spiffy Tiny, easy to build weapons annihilate office boredom  (wired.com) (82)
(CNN) Scary America under attack. Gun battle rages on the U.S.-Mexico border as President Obama prepares to send the U.S. Cavalry after Gen. Santa Anna  (cnnwire.blogs.cnn.com) (155)
(Some Guy) Obvious Why chefs are evil  (whyitisevil.posterous.com) (273)
(The Consumerist) Asinine Teenage girls arrested for squeezing muffin to determine freshness. I would hate to see what would've happened if they'd tried that with the Charmin  (consumerist.com) (132)

Tue September 22, 2009
(CBS New York) Hero Four punks try to rob 88-year-old WWII vet, accidentally open a very large can of Acute Failure of the Victim Selection Process  T-Shirt  (wcbstv.com) (111)
(Belt Drive Betty) Amusing Soon Faat, Rong Phuk, Happy Crack and other restaurants you'd rather not eat at  (beltdrivebetty.com) (110)
(Metro) Amusing How to avoid a weekend drinking with shot-clogs only to end up crambazzled, plus other quite ostrobogulous, yet perfectly cromulent words  (metro.co.uk) (31)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what these guys are digging up  (home.jesus.ox.ac.uk) (47)
(Some Guy Covered in Dew) Amusing Funny how you never hear about a phone number advertised for a phone sex line actually going to a resource to help lobster fishermen  (theguardian.pe.ca) (70)
(KnoxNews) Sad Chattanooga man's jump in flood water on a $5 bet described as 'ego thing'. End result described as 'Darwin thing'  (knoxnews.com) (182)
(Guardian.com) Obvious Munich's gay Bierfest just like Oktoberfest--"Except for the fact that they do give us better tips and they are less likely to throw beer glasses at each other when the evening gets going"  (guardian.co.uk) (133)
(officer.com) Amusing Pissed off Virginia police aim to flush out urinal vandal  (officer.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Obvious If the cops don't like the way you give a lap dance, you will be arrested  (themonitor.com) (164)
(The Raw Story) Obvious The GOP declares war on "net neutrality"  (rawstory.com) (720)
(WGAL 8) Dumbass While opinions about hunting run the gamut, I think most of us can agree that you shouldn't do it near an elementary school  (wgal.com) (239)
(Slashdot) Stupid French authorities want photo-altered models to come with warning labels as well as penalties if you rip the tag off before you buy one  (yro.slashdot.org) (137)
(Labspaces.net) Obvious Hummer drivers are better than tofu-eating, patchouli-scented, green-obsessed hippies like you  (labspaces.net) (342)
(USA Today) Scary And the man with the pack said "Everyone attack," and it turned into a subway blitz  (usatoday.com) (84)
(Some Guy) Interesting Six Flags over Georgia introduces 23 new water rides  (inquisitr.com) (180)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this Phau fall  (cache.boston.com) (54)
(Some guy) Florida Ten-year-old "wizard" uses magic wand to cast spell on chicken, promptly bursts into flames. Wizard's brother: You're doing it wrong  (failuremag.com) (158)
(Yahoo) Scary Scientists find remains of Trojan war couple. Who knew a squabble over condoms could be fatal?  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(Slashfood) Interesting Ten deceptive restaurant tricks, including topping off that pitcher of Coors Light with soda water because you'll never notice the difference  (slashfood.com) (676)
(NJ.com) Stupid After three years, separated couple finally reaches agreement on the custody of their dog, who will no doubt need therapy and will grow up hating them both  (nj.com) (48)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Asinine Cop cuffs a nurse because she was taking to long to draw a suspect's blood. "He is enjoying his power."  (suntimes.com) (445)
(NW Florida Daily News) Weird Woman on Segway segues to the pavement. Then the hospital  (nwfdailynews.com) (69)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Department of Homeland Security shows off its new $900,000 high speed patrol boat. First mission, guard the border against our biggest threat. The Canadians  (myfoxdc.com) (178)
(USA Today) Interesting Coming next: The H1N1 Market Index  (usatoday.com) (30)
(Toledo Blade) Scary Not news: the IVF worked and you're pregnant. News: we put in the wrong embryo and the baby isn't yours. Fark: you have to give the baby back as soon as it's born  (toledoblade.com) (157)
(TBO) Florida Undercover cops storm drug dealer's house, then get a Wii bit distracted (w/ video)  (www2.tbo.com) (98)
(AZCentral) Sad Tuscon schools decide to go with a "separate and unequal" policy when it comes to discipline  (azcentral.com) (290)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Census says there are 150,000 gay married couples, estimated to be about twice the number of happy hetero married couples  (wbbm780.com) (132)
(My Fox DC) PSA New poll says Americans are becoming more rude and less civilized. And if you don't green light this you can suck it you filthy pigs  (myfoxdc.com) (509)
(WCPO) Strange You know that it just isn't your day when you're mugged for your pants, you comply, and then after being told to go get dressed you're shot (unlikely tag peering around the corner given the neighborhood)  (wcpo.com) (29)
(World Radio Switzerland) Obvious "The 26-year-old told police that running nude allowed his skin to absorb more oxygen"  (worldradio.ch) (69)
(Boston Globe) Caption Caption these resting revellers  (inapcache.boston.com) (48)
(The New York Times) Stupid New Jersey high school senior girls publish a "slut list" every year as part of a freshman hazing ritual  (nytimes.com) (1241)
(CBS News) Strange Mississippi police can't catch wayward emu, have to resort to tasering, handcuffing it. That's so emu  (cbsnews.com) (50)
(BBC) Photoshop Photoshop these chairs  (news.bbc.co.uk) (22)
(BBC) Dumbass Dear Sir: I am being indicted for malpractice while performing plastic surgery on the First Lady of Nigeria. I request Your Assistance in transferring Funds before being incarcerated. Sincerely, the Honorable Doctor Fail  (news.bbc.co.uk) (30)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Urban legend of vintage 1950s Cadillacs in a garage comes true for car collector. No word if there was a hook hanging from the passenger door handle or a grandma-shaped package on the roof rack  (timescolonist.com) (96)
(ABC News) Scary Five people injured in three shootings, or as they call it in Philadelphia, Monday  (abclocal.go.com) (56)
(Charlotte) Cool The NC Highway Patrol throws one hell of a Christmas party  (charlotteobserver.com) (58)
(New Scientist) Interesting Bashed your head? Apparently you need a stiff drink. Here comes the science  (newscientist.com) (42)
(UPI) Stupid Woman reports own son to police for rolling a joint with a page from a bible. Holy Smokes  T-Shirt  (upi.com) (276)
(CNN) Unlikely Ten ways to enjoy doing nothing. Fark mysteriously absent from list  (cnn.com) (65)
(AJC) News Minute by minute updates on the Atlanta flood - be safe, ATL Farkers  (ajc.com) (257)
(Fox News) Obvious Swim team takes a collective dive in their bus. judges give it a 10  (foxnews.com) (26)
(City Journal) Hero 50 years ago, America was world's worst developed nation for finding great food, wine, and beer. Today, thanks to immigration and capitalism, it's the best  (city-journal.org) (211)
(KMOV St. Louis) Fail It's a been a while, so some may have forgot that playing Russian Roulette isn't usually recommended for teaching firearm safety  (kmov.com) (108)

Mon September 21, 2009
(Jalopnik) Weird Ten most confusing google street view accidents  (jalopnik.com) (80)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Letter firing Orly Taitz from further representation probably a forgery, says Orly Taitz. This headline has not been authenticated  (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (164)
(News.com.au) Strange Not news: Man rolls car. News: He then shoots at people who come to help before fleeing into the bush. Fark: He has no legs  (news.com.au) (34)
(London Times) Ironic 80-ton wave generator works briefly as advertised when it falls into the ocean  T-Shirt  (timesonline.co.uk) (86)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop something for Lady Gaga to hold  (boston.com) (88)
(Kansas City) Strange The couple's 18-year-old daughter found her mother dead on the kitchen floor while her father, wearing women's clothing, sat on the floor smoking a cigarette. (w/ eyebleach required mugshot)  (kansascity.com) (172)
(London Times) Interesting Whey-hey. Letter from 1722 brings Stilton cheese home to Cambridgeshire  (timesonline.co.uk) (49)
(Some Guy) Stupid And the winner of the worst blog name in the world goes to  (blog.peta.org) (167)
(Some REALLY Old Guy) Spiffy Today marks the 113th birthday of the world's oldest man. Coincidentally the same date that a British force under Horatio Kitchener took Dongola in the Sudan. And who will ever forget that day?  (minnesota.publicradio.org) (57)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida If you've always wanted a pure ivory silk wedding suit, woven with delicate strands of gold thread, contact this guy. "I want to take my armor off and make sure no one is going to take a shot at me."  (tampabay.com) (74)
(MSNBC) Obvious Commander says without more troops we will see an "Afghan failure", requests Snuggie support  (msnbc.msn.com) (155)
(Boston Globe) Weird Bad news: you and your brother get shot. Good news: the shooter is an EMT and immediately starts first aid  (boston.com) (81)
(Some Shutterbugger) Interesting Russian billionaire installs a laser-based anti-photo shield on his new mega-yacht. Nothing to sea here  (amateurphotographer.co.uk) (174)
(Kansas.com) Scary Nuclear power plant struck by lightning. Expect follow up article that either involves super heroes or zombies  (kansas.com) (81)
(CNN) Interesting Where items confiscated by the TSA go... Or, what happened to your Tide Stain Pen when it was taken from you in ATL  (cnn.com) (331)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Amusing This Halloween, turn that extra cardboard box next to the one you're living in into a cute costume for the kids  (star-telegram.com) (119)
(Science Daily) Unlikely Scientists develop Drake-like equation for determining the habitability of planets, feasibility of terraforming. KHAAAAN  (sciencedaily.com) (185)
(NJ.com) Obvious Why fall is better than summer. Surprisingly, this article is longer than just the word "football"  (nj.com) (193)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Congress is proposing legislation to rein in overdraft fees that banks charge cutomers, which totaled $40 billion last year-in many cases accounting for all the profit made by the bank that year  (washingtonpost.com) (551)
(Some Guy) Fail If you try and pull a "General Lee" to catch a departing ferry it's a good idea to make sure the ferry is actually there  (click2houston.com) (76)
(Guardian.com) Spiffy The best dishes and 50 places in the world to eat them. US shows up once: "Slim Jim--At the 7-11 on the corner of 7th and Grant, Pittsburgh"  (guardian.co.uk) (240)
(New York Daily News) Amusing The radical imam arrested by the FBI in connection with the Denver terrorism case-turns out to be a long-time FBI informant  (nydailynews.com) (72)
(Drew) FarkBlog Fark sets the betting line for stories that might show up in the media soon, and some of our favorite Headlines of the Week for 9/13 - 9/19  (fark.com) (26)
(AJC) Obvious From the "I Wonder Why That Is?" Dept., seven jurors in the John Gotti, Jr. trial make last-minute appeals to be dismissed. The reasons were not immediately disclosed  (ajc.com) (64)
(The White House) Photoshop Photoshop this picture of Obama practicing his Jedi Skills  (imgur.com) (82)
(London Times) Obvious Secret Service agents found Boris Yeltsin standing on Pennsylvania Avenue in only underwear trying to hail a cab so he could fetch a pizza  (timesonline.co.uk) (73)
(My Fox DC) Stupid At least 22 states that ban texting while driving offer some type of texting service that allows motorists to get information about traffic tie-ups, road conditions or emergencies via Twitter  (myfoxdc.com) (100)
(Telegraph) Cool Spider lizard, spider lizard, does whatever a spider...lizard can  (telegraph.co.uk) (70)
(SFGate) Interesting Small group of Calvinists fight to stop their church from being closed. Last seen barricaded in the building armed with transmogrifier guns and a stuffed tiger  T-Shirt  (sfgate.com) (138)
(STLToday) Obvious Recent California wildfire would have been extinguished sooner, but officials were waiting for it to first destroy three major marijuana plantations in the forest  (stltoday.com) (56)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Amusing $200,000 in building repairs later, University staff learn not to leave the coffee machine turned on over the weekend  (suntimes.com) (63)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Over the river and through the woods and down the very steep ravine along the main highway on the other side of the creek half lit while dodging traffic, to grandmother's house we go  (myfoxdc.com) (20)
(Telegraph) Amusing Scotland is full of dangerous natives who speak an incomprehensible language and the weather is awful. This is a repeat from 1275  (telegraph.co.uk) (329)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man accused of stealing a Sparks 16-ounce beer, a Zero candy bar, a bottle of 100-count aspirin, and two Penrose Tijuana Mama Beef Jerky sticks from Niceville  (nwfdailynews.com) (97)
(Florida Today) Obvious Health care costs are the potential block for seniors' retirement plans. That and the robots who eat their medicine for fuel  (floridatoday.com) (73)
(Washington Post) Obvious The Washington Post would like you to know that, while poison ivy isn't a snake bite, it still hurts  (washingtonpost.com) (87)
(TampaBays10.com) Florida Firefighters called to fight apartment fire on Firecracker Drive. Hmmmmm  (wtsp.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Obvious Mortuary worker charged with stealing cash from corpses, now faces a stiff sentence  (expressandstar.com) (66)
(Some Guy) Obvious The party hasn't officially started in Chuckey, Tennessee until a drunk guy is throwing furniture and ramming a house with his car, then trying to run down the deputies who show up to arrest him  (www2.tricities.com) (40)
(News 14 Carolina) Obvious People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, and people who live in wooden treehouses should not use candles  (news14.com) (40)
(Lancashire Evening Post) Dumbass Man makes rude gestures at officers obviously thinking he will easily outspeed police patrol car on his bicycle  (lep.co.uk) (60)
(Telegraph) Obvious "Public drunkenness makes every British city horrible after 11pm. Really, really horrible. So horrible tourists should not be allowed out lest our reputation sink through what we thought was the basement of our international standing"  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (110)
(Fox News) Followup Suspect in multiple murders has fled to Haiti. Authorities may not seek extradition since conditions in that country are far worse than any U.S. prison  (foxnews.com) (75)
(Some Guy) Amusing Workers at Irish pizza factory set to go on strike after being told that can no longer watch porn at work  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk) (97)
(Pharyngula) Stupid I don't want to alarm anyone, but according to some website, the apocalypse is upon us and today is your last on earth. They prove it with math and everything  (scienceblogs.com) (504)
(Telegraph) Obvious Music venues are forced to make seats bigger to accomodate overweight concert-goers (w/ pic of what an overweight concert-goer might look like)  (telegraph.co.uk) (195)
(naplesnews) Amusing Homeless man full of Cheer, lets it All hang out the FeBreeze at laundromat while washing pants. Gains arrest  (naplesnews.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fifth wheel  (kevincyr.net) (39)
(Southwest Iowa News) Hero Dick Schmoker honored  (southwestiowanews.com) (101)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Some headines just write themselves: "Man found dead in Pasco lake was lonely drifter"  (tampabay.com) (40)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Florida newspaper asks why, in general, Florida is more Florida than anywhere else and why, specifically, is Sarasota more Florida than the rest of Florida (SFW as long as you don't work for a Ponzi scammer in Florida)  (heraldtribune.com) (44)
(Some Muppet) Scary ♫ Bananana in Taaaanzania. ♪ Bananana. Rwanda too. ♪ Bananana. in Taaaanzania Uganda Rwanda good old Kenya too.♫  (voanews.com) (52)
(News.com.au) Strange Not in the police training manual: Jump out of a vehicle at traffic lights naked, run around vehicle, reboard  (news.com.au) (40)

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