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Sun November 01, 2009
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Daily Record (UK))
 
 
 
Man sues after discovering his deodorant only makes him attractive to lawyers and journalists (with working link)
source: dailyrecord.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Civilian passenger accidentally activates ejector seat in military aircraft, now knows what toast feels like
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Multimillionaire fighting the government to allow his 9-year-old grandson to drive a 30-ton front-end loader at the family quarry. "The other guys keep an eye on him."
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(New York)
 
 
 
Ayn Rand was "the Evel Knievel of leaping to conclusions"
source: nymag.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(799)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
Beer crossing
source: tacoma.komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Cyclists have a lot riding on L.A. driver's trial, claim spokes people
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(394)
 
(Mercury News)
 
 
 
"You're under arrest." 'For what?' "Resisting arrest and... well, that's pretty much it."
source: mercurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
If you're over 65, chances are you won't catch and die from swine flu. But that won't stop you from taking the vaccine from people who really need it: those of us in our late twenties/early thirties
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
San Francisco City Attorney demands proof that Cocoa Krispies will keep your kids from getting swine flu
source: blogs.sfweekly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Turn a guy movie into a chick flick, or vice versa
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Kissing was developed "to spread germs," keep the other person quiet
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Philly.com)
 
 
 
Man walks into the National Sudoku Championship wearing a hoodie and makes it to the final round, where he's only able to fill in two squares. For some reason, officials think cheating might be involved
source: philly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Facebook's updated Newsfeed encourages you to reconnect with those you haven't spoken to in awhile, but it's currently unable to differentiate the living from the dead. Naturally, some people are upset about this
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
It's about damn time. Hero tag and Asinine tag battle it out for supremacy
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(462)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Man uses "Pints for prostates" campaign to warn other men about cancer. Beer, is there anything it can't do?
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Hit-and-run driver claims he didn't see a 6-foot-tall orange rabbit on a pedicab
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Once again while the rest of the nation runs around adjusting every clock they own, trying to remember if they should fall forward or spring back, the people of Arizona smugly smile, knowing they aren't slaves to daylight-savings time
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(214)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Furor erupts over Nutt sack
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Groups press for tougher drunk driving laws because judges don't enforce the laws we already have
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
Oregon to spend $1.2 on windmill tax credits. Wait, that $4.1M. No, $13M. Oops, make that $21M. OK, $167M. Ah...would you believe $243M?
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Here is a damming story on the BBC and there abilitie to spell chech
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Amelia Earhart's cousin wants you to know the truth that the government is concealing
source: nevadaappeal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Network World)
 
 
 
What do Uri Geller, NPR, Michael Savage and Diebold have in common: "Welcome to the Takedown Hall of Shame"
source: networkworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Search underway for three miners missing in Quebec's Abitibi-Temiscamingue region. In related news, search underway for more letters so that officials can write out "Abitibi-Temiscamingue"
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Handy flow charts show the difference between men and women buying shoes
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(221)
 
(Austin Statesman)
 
 
 
Texas is no longer a red state
source: statesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this long-legged fly
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
DA says jury trials should be mandatory in sex cases because juries are more willing than judges to put defendants away for life
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Ex-Notre Dame worker to repay majority of $29,387 tip, reclaim her stapler
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Smoking outdoors is now illegal after a town official was horrified to see a father smoking near his child
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
A spirit passed before me: I beheld, the face of immortality unveiled. Series of letters from poet Lord Byron sell for a record $458,000
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(cfnews13.com)
 
 
 
School worker suspended for being a bit too enthusiastic about his pizza
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested at Disney World for carrying a loaded gun, is sentenced to five hours on the "It's a Small World" ride
source: thedailydisney.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
When is a scooter not a scooter? When it goes at just 14 mph it seems
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Some Erie Resident)
 
 
 
Man moves his family into a new home, surprised to find the image of a demon on his son's bedroom door (w/demonic door pic)
source: qconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
If you're going to forge your boss's will to leave everything to you maybe you should write it on something besides a dog collar
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Family of missing cop consults witch doctor in order to find him. When reached for comment, the witch doctor cryptically said, "Ooh eee, ooh ahh ahh, ting tang, walla walla bing bang"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
That Brazilian chick you met on the internet suddenly breaks up with you. Do you C) crash at the Sao Paulo airport, surviving on food given to you by airport workers
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(New Zealand Herald)
 
 
 
Churches helped raise $500,000 for man who needed treatments for his cancer. His "cancer" turned out to be a gambling addiction
source: nzherald.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this pretty parasol
source: vectroave.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Kerik is losing it behind bars, probably because the Trogdor comes in the night
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Should we have a page in the healthcare bill about not being forgotten in an ambulance for hours?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Naked cheat receives cold treatment from woman's husband, takes refuge on an air conditioner vent outside: "I must point out it was a very cold day" (w/ priceless photo)
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(OC Register)
 
 
 
In an attempt to lob pumpkin for science project, university students manage to squash scoreboard, prompting one school official to ask, "Are these kids out of their gourds?
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 


Sat October 31, 2009
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Serial killer arrested in Cleveland much to the chagrin of the residents still alive there
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(113)
 
(wwltv.com)
 
 
 
Students and parents so serious over Brother Martin High School's "Dark Knights" pep rally skit
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Not many hotels have a ghost hunter and a psychic on the payroll. Redrum
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this frigid freighter
source: media.englishrussia.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
If you and your buddy are going to vandalise half of your city's school buses, forcing schools to close citywide, it's best you don't leave your cell phone at the scene of the crime
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Four professors are denied tenure at DePaul university, claim it's because their women. Never mind the fact that they teach subjects like Women's Studies and Gender Studies, two rather irrelevant college courses
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(337)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
James Dobson will separate from Focus on the Family in February 2010. Keith Olbermann sighs, tears up a year's worth of unused "Worst Person in the World" rants
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Remember Farkers and Farkettes, tonight you get a bonus hour of heavy drinking
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
World Series Game 3. If there's anything scarier than Halloween in Philadelphia, it's facing the Yankees' OTHER left-handed ace. Trick, or treat?
source: blogs.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1489)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
Witch finds it nearly impossible to organize her coven for Halloween celebration. If only there were some magical device she could wave around to make it happen
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Paranoid helicopter parents, not content with ruining everything else, have basically destroyed the fun of Halloween as well
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(417)
 
(scoop.co.nz)
 
 
 
School project: make controversial art. Result: art is too controversial, and now the orthodox atheists are mad
source: books.scoop.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Denver Post)
 
 
 
Sled maker on slippery slope with city hall, putting the skids on one of the town's few winter businesses. *Rosebud*
source: denverpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Some Culture War Dispatcher)
 
 
 
How to avoid supporting the gay agenda with your consumer spending
source: scienceblogs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
City of Chicago gives free bus, train rides to senior citizens, including undocumented seniors. Don't let Glenn Beck hear about this
source: mobile.wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Education Secretary Arne Duncan accuses states of lowering standards to near-moron levels. After a visit to the Fark Politics tab, subby finds it difficult to argue with Duncan
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Only 19% of American men still have a set of brass balls
source: fe19.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(257)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
"Now, don't get me wrong: Who doesn't love a good stabbing now and then? But a whole month of them? No, thank you, buddy."
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Theme: Photoshop a scary monster for Halloween
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
British Govt. to Somali pirates: "give us back our citizens". Pirates: "give us $7M" British Govt.: "you know what......we're good. You can have them."
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Lawsuit over defective Hanes dismissed after examining the briefs
source: abovethelaw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Subby wants to die like his grandfather did, peacefully in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers on his bus
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Finally, scientists have developed the a working model of the robot cargo loader Ripley used to kick the queen alien's ass
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Weekly World News)
 
 
 
This week: Dog spends $62 on Xbox points while owner sleeps. Next week: Dog spends $2000 on hooker and blow while owner sleeps
source: weeklyworldnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(The Pulse)
 
 
 
"As a responsible parent trying to help keep your kids from joining in the growing youth obesity epidemic, there are ways to keep trick-or-treating healthier." Damn those responsible parents, get me a mini-Snickers NOW
source: chattanoogapulse.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
"When evading a UFO is your best argument for why an aircraft did that, you're on pretty weak ground."
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
"Coyotes attack and kill: Should you worry?" YES YOU SHOULD WORRY RUN FOR YOUR LIVES RUN RUN
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Just in case you missed it, here's this years annual "Halloween is the work of Satan" wharrgarbl from the Catholic church
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(141)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Annoying and shouting child on a plane? Southwest Airlines implements their STFU & GTFO policy
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(474)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
You fill the mail with the coconuts and screw them all up, you fill the mail with the coconuts and call me in the morning
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(14)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
_____
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Lancashire Evening Post)
 
 
 
Security guards employed to protect hedgehogs from bonfires
source: lep.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Dan Savage)
 
 
 
We mate, we're straight, get used to it -- Halloween is the new Straight Pride Parade
source: thestranger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Independent)
 
 
 
The Brits wonder if Halloween is just harmless fun or a tacky American import. With typical Halloween graphic that will surely help the debate
source: independent.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Some Scary Cat Lady)
 
 
 
Black cats half-price for Halloween...err, Caturday
source: beavertonvalleytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1383)
 
(Record Online)
 
 
 
Least ambitious counterfeiter ever discovered in Saugerties, New York
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
13-year old made redundant, considers going back to school
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tremendous tire
source: img-fotki.yandex.ru   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Remote Brazilian tribe finds plane crash survivors alive, delicious
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Animal escapes after show-and-tell at school. Tag will help you determine the animal
source: newsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Largest cruise ship ever, Oasis of Seas, to set sail. Guests can expect booze-fueled tirades, constant fighting amongst the crew all in a whiny, obnoxious tone
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
PETA wants Oregon to stop using elephants to give car washes because, sheesh, they're not very good at it
source: latimesblogs.latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If a drunk man riding a stolen lawmower slams into your bus, don't make things worse by laughing at him (although feel free to laugh at his mugshot)
source: ocala.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 


Fri October 30, 2009
(Pacific Daily News)
 
 
 
Thanks to paranoid Christians and over-sensitive Wiccans, more and more schools are replacing Halloween with "Happy Costume Day"
source: guampdn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(289)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop these cadets collecting crime-scene clues
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
'Fingernails on a chalkboard' may soon be as meaningless as other obscure phrases, such as 'cat's pajamas', '23 skidoo', and 'make the tagline funny'
source: blogs.abcnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
CDC is shocked, SHOCKED, to learn that not everyone goes to the doctor when they get the sniffles
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(150)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
"I can't find my puppy, can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room."
source: limelife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In cost-saving measure, Virginia to make it harder for the mentally-ill to get antipsychotic medications
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(WCBStv.com)
 
 
 
"Mikac was rushed to St. Barnabas Hospital and pronounced dead a short time later." Fark: see Mikac's first name
source: wcbstv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
An eye-opening look into this week's Halloween-themed TSG mugshot roundup
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(247)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Instead of getting a reward, BP is fined $87 million for trying to blow up Texas
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
I guess she won't come out tonight, come out tonight, come out tonight
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Some things are just not meant to go together. With that said, the Asian American jazz festival begins today
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(147)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
Lego-themed hotel planned at Southern California's Legoland theme park. Guests will have to build their own rooms
source: content.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Halloween gets extra creepy: Octomom to dress as a pregnant nun accompanied by her eight little devils
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this velocious vessel
source: neptunuslex.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
When making a baby, British women advised to lie still and think of England
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(173)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
West Virginia leads the nation in lack of sleep -- which is understandable, what with all those teeth falling out and clattering on the floor
source: recordonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
It's almost time kids. It's Fark's annual "Scary Story Thread" a day early due to the weekend. Don't miss it. Don't forget to wear your mask.The clock is ticking, it's almost time. Silver Shamrock
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(568)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Firefighters spend four hours trying to free a man after he stuck his finger in his car's gas tank
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(C|Net)
 
 
 
One of this season's top costume searches: Adult Care Bear
source: news.cnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Some Superhero)
 
 
 
Superhero Smackdown quarterfinals: Superman vs Wonder Woman
source: thecorrectness.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
7 civilians, 2 military members feared deceased after mid-air collision
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"I've fallen and I can't get up because I'm being strangled by my MedicAlert necklace"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Here is the church, and here is the steeple, have some bad weather, and it falls on the people
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(94)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Actual headline - "Nutt faces sack"
source: bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
After a break-up, it's completely normal to leave things behind: toothbrush, clothes, your 17-year old son living in the shed. Wait...what?
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Friday Photo Fun from our pals at TSG. Match the criminal with the band. Contest ends at 4pm Eastern
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
U.S. rubber company disputes Liberia pollution study, argues that the study calls for too many prophylactic measures
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(LiveLeak)
 
 
 
Drunken nordic underwater fireworks: you gotta think the fish are not enjoying this one little bit
source: liveleak.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Hmmm, thousands of tiny earthquake generators driving around Manhattan 24 hours a day? How could that possibly backfire?
source: wheels.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Drunken hedgehog taken to hospital, possibly after his drinks were spiked
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
You say transubstantiation, I say bacterial contamination. Let's call the whole thing off
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
PROTIP: If you're going to steal $244 worth of video games at Kmart, leave the heroin bags and needles at home. You're only going to make a bad situation worse when the cops inevitably arrest you
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Qantas plane makes emergency landing with pilot incapacitated by sickness. And don't call him Shirley
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Massachusetts reprograms computers to mail unemployment checks out faster by skipping time-consuming decisions like "is the recipient eligible for unemployment?"
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Iqaluit hotel bomb scare a false alarm. All surfaces of igloo inspected by RCMP, found to be clean
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(wishtv.com)
 
 
 
Farmer killed by grain auger. You know the drill
source: wishtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(Detroit Free Press)
 
 
 
FBI defends decision to shoot Dave Chappelle
source: freep.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Scantily-clad Mormons - The perfect stocking stuffer
source: blogs.orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(260)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Somali pirates move British yacht couple to a floating prison ship. Wait, I've seen this movie
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(STV.tv)
 
 
 
Scientists begin $288,000 baby feeding study. That's gonna be one fat baby
source: news.stv.tv   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Next up on H1N1 Fearmongering Today: Your toothbrush, which will surely give you swine flu and kill you
source: mddailyrecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
State Supreme Court overturns juvenile convictions made by judge who jailed kids for cash. All 6500 of them
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Pocono Record)
 
 
 
If you're going to chase young girls around campus, take off your police uniform first
source: poconorecord.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(cfnews13.com)
 
 
 
Condo residents decide to get rid of a beehive with fire and hairspray. What could possibly go wrong?
source: cfnews13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Homestar Runner)
 
 
 
The Homestar cartoon custom-made for Homestar haters.... watch them all die
source: homestarrunner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(KDKA.com - CBS Pittsburgh)
 
 
 
Is your pet at risk for H1N1? Your dog wants Tamiflu
source: kdka.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So like, here's the thing man, it's it's Dennis Hopper alright? and he's got this thing man, this thing with his prostate; and it ain't too good, no sir, it ain't too good at all
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop these strange seats
source: vitra.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(nbcdfw.com)
 
 
 
Man loses his ass at a Chick-Fil-A
source: nbcdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Satanist creates fake gothic society on MySpace to lure young teens to cemetery. Clearly, real goths use Facebook
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
"If we gave $10,000 to certain people and said 'we'll voluntarily sterilise you' then all of society would be better off"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(276)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
112-year-old man has a seat over there
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(KTLA)
 
 
 
Negatives snapped up for $45 at garage sale exposed as Ansel Adams originals. Story developing
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bullet hits Lou Dobbs' house, where his wife sleeps and his children play with their toys
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(201)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
EPA finds manganese threat at two schools. Just wait until they learn about the tentacle rape
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 


Thu October 29, 2009
(Vancouver Sun)
 
 
 
Today's 'truck spills metric assload of random food item onto roadway' brought to you by Vancouver and 13,600 kilograms of yogurt
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: It was a dark and stormy night
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Nola.com)
 
 
 
Your landlord serves you with eviction papers. Do you: A) Move in with relatives, B) Sue to block the eviction, or C) Light the building on fire, then ambush the firemen with an AK-47
source: nola.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
There are two levels of accomplishment in the little-known sport of the radio-station-sponsored water-drinking contest: Grand Master Champion, and Dead
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(140)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Gallant obeys the rules of the road and practices safe driving techniques. Goofus drives his car into a police officer and punches him in the face repeatedly
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Conservative tv star Elisabeth Hasselback demonstrates the dangers of "abstinence only" sex education by announcing her plan to avoid future kids is to "dress in a way that won't get me pregnant."
source: usmagazine.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man arrested for exposing and fondling himself...at a courthouse...twice in three weeks. Where's Ashcroft and his drapes when you need them?
source: katc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(19)
 
(CourierPress.com)
 
 
 
Your soon-to-be-ex-wife cuts off the cable you've been stealing. Do you c) Break into her freezer and steal her ground beef?
source: courierpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(AFP)
 
 
 
It's generally considered a bad sign when your airline pilot gets on the PA system and asks you to pray
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
Six urban legends that just happen to be true. Sweet dreams
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(125)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Small plane rapidly plunges into bottom end of Virgin Islands, to be renamed Technical Virgin Islands
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(CTV)
 
 
 
It takes a moron to park on top of a car, then drive away. It takes a special kind of moron to go back and park there the next day
source: toronto.ctv.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Billings Gazette)
 
 
 
Family that plans to sell joints together, lands in cell joints together
source: billingsgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(The Frisky)
 
 
 
5 things women are horrified to learn when they begin living with a guy. "If you've got plants, better check to make sure they're compatible with a whole lot of urine."
source: thefrisky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(370)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Fox News now running interference for Somali pirates. If only there were a word for a group or organization that gives aid and comfort to our enemies
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(329)
 
(jacksonsun)
 
 
 
Nothing happened
source: jacksonsun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dedicated Windows 7 fan
source: lh5.ggpht.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
If you're not smart enough to step outside for a smoke, then maybe do-it-yourself furnace repair isn't for you
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(SacBee)
 
 
 
Bill to legalize marijana for recreational use in California gets legislative hearing. There was a "lively but mellow debate," however, "no joint consensus was reached."
source: sacbee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(306)
 
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)
 
 
 
Wallabies are now extinct in Minnesota
source: startribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Five whitetail deer, four black bears, two gray wolves, one wile coyote and a turkey vulture electrocuted by dangling power line. Fa la la la la, la la la laaaa
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Are you a bad driver? If you said yes, a new study says that it's in your genetics. Also, the study indicates that you are a woman
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Plastic surgery didn't go well the first time? Why not go back and let the doctor give it another shot?
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
I just won a radio contest to have backup dancers follow me around for a couple hours this Saturday. Sadly there is no cash equivalent. How can I best utilize this weird, semi-retarded prize?
source: farm4.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(599)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Add 'Cooking Meth' to the list of things it's illegal to do while driving
source: wsbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hay, get a barn, you two
source: arkansasonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(South Park Studios)
 
 
 
Come for the senseless slaughter of dolphins and whales, stay for Cartman singing "Pokerface"
source: southparkstudios.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(202)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
84 year old granny finished last at the 150 mile New Jersey MS bike charity ride. To her defense, her front bike basket was not very aerodynamic... neither were her dress, jacket and high heels (with pic)
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Wake me up early? That's a brooming. What, what's a brooming?
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(KSTU FOX 13)
 
 
 
In Utah, delivering your food order via "rap" is now a punishable offense
source: fox13now.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(341)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Hey, y'all prepare yourself For the Rubberband man. You never heard a sound Like the rubberband man. You're bound to lose control, When the Rubberband starts to jam
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(Some Geek)
 
 
 
Headline redundancy: "Windows Broken, Computers Damaged"
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Clones (and perhaps zombies) of North Korea's Kim Jong il might be roaming the countryside
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(WESH Orlando)
 
 
 
Trick-or-Treaters are like little Swine Flu commandos, who will infiltrate your home and infect you and everyone you love
source: wesh.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(136)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Man fights with sister, accidentally shoots his mother. Oh man you are SO grounded
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
So I asked myself what could be better than an actual headline reading "Unused bestiality law put to the test" and I have to say none. None more better
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(This is London)
 
 
 
TV presenter making documentary about badly-behaved students duck-taped to wall by badly-behaved students
source: thisislondon.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(Chicago Breaking News)
 
 
 
Chicago researcher invents bra that, in an emergency, can be removed to become a face mask. Disasters are going to be so much more fun from now on
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this tongue touchup
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
♫ Sending cards with dirty photos ♫ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♫ These misdeeds are seen as no-nos ♫ Fa la la la la, la la la la ♫
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Man pleads guilty to stealing $69,000 in antique coins, will be sent to £MITA prison
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
You get pulled over for an illegal left turn. Do you C) Spit on the officer, make a racial slur, threaten him with the KKK and pee in the patrol car?
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
If spending your lunch break in a cemetery with an 18-year old stripper and a box of sex toys is wrong, then subby doesn't want to be right
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(181)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
So customs lady, would you like to see my trouser geckos?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Woman mistakes massive rotting whale head on beach for an alien being (w/pic)
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
The fifteen jobs with the highest stress and lowest pay. Noticably absent: your job
source: money.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(427)
 
(Some Guy with a Limp)
 
 
 
.3048 meters washes up on Canadian beach
source: vancouversun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(106)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
As a public service, DC ABC affiliate will show uncensored breast self-exams on 5pm and 11pm broadcasts. The fact that it's also the beginning of sweeps is merely a happy coincidence
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Strange: Woman walks up to random guy and violently kicks him the groin. Stranger: Her kick caused him to lose his testicle. Strangest: He didn't notice his testicle was missing until later that night
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(166)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Vote Whoring
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Sex, booze, and bacon: the things that make life worth living. Also the things that are going to kill you
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(89)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 234: "Heebie Jeebies". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(Some small town paper)
 
 
 
Burglary reported in North America. No, really
source: dailyregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 


Wed October 28, 2009
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
Mother in uproar over "humiliating and disgusting" punishment her snowflake was subjected to for not turning in his homework
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(300)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Someone misdials your phone number. Do you c) arrange to meet them at a local parking lot then shoot them
source: savannahnow.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Even robbers are feeling the recession; opting for sharpies instead of ski masks
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Boing Boing)
 
 
 
Nanny state bans helicopter parents from playgrounds
source: boingboing.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Obama administration preaches abstinence to school districts looking for federal funding for abstinence only sex ed
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 
(Major League Baseball)
 
 
 
Talking's over. It's the Phillies and the Yankees, Game 1 of the 2009 World Series, and by "World" we of course mean a 100-mile stretch of highway in the northeastern United States (7:57pm ET, Fox)
source: mlb.mlb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1816)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Your WTF moment of the day--Meat hands
source: notmartha.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(121)
 
(Denver Channel)
 
 
 
Your city is facing a major snowstorm. Do they, a) implement a well coordinated snow plow plan? b) say fark it?
source: thedenverchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(209)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this high flying daredevil
source: markshannon.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Today is National Chocolate Day. So dump your girlfriend and give her an excuse to overindulge
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Focus on your accomplishments and make your resume pop with keywords. Hopefully 'recently paroled' isn't one of those keywords
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(Local6)
 
 
 
Florida man expected to introduce the ChewBacon defense in his murder trial
source: clickorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(Baltimore Sun)
 
 
 
Baltimore restaurant owner fights city hall by putting hundreds of plastic pink flamingoes on the lawn. W/ cool pic
source: baltimoresun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Sun Journal (Maine))
 
 
 
If you live at 13 Cemetery Road, you might as well get in the Halloween spirit. "It's not a good Easter address."
source: sunjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(Some Angel)
 
 
 
Little girl's brain tumor takes her ability to speak, so she leaves notes stashed around house for family to find after she dies. Hundreds of notes, causing something in subby's eye
source: wlwt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(452)
 
(My Fox Philly)
 
 
 
Woman arrested for allegedly offering sex for World Series tickets gets them free from local radio station. See how well karma works?
source: myfoxphilly.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(156)
 
(NewsBusters)
 
 
 
Apparently "cruelty-free" whips and other BDSM gear are all the rage these days amongst the irony impaired
source: newsbusters.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(IFC)
 
 
 
"Illusion, Michael. A trick is what a whore does for money....or cocaine" (Sponsored Link)
source: ifc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(248)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
Girl suspended for bringing empty shotgun shells to school. "I wanted to show them to my science teacher because he's into stuff like this."
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(239)
 
(Topless Robot)
 
 
 
Mattel releases Palm Beach sugar daddy Ken doll. No, really
source: toplessrobot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Daily Iowan)
 
 
 
A profile of the first person to undergo in-patient treatment for Internet addiction. Yes, WOW was involved
source: dailyiowan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(275)
 
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)
 
 
 
Man caught driving with a stash of X-rays and mammograms of women and children, proving Rule #34 is alive and well
source: blog.cleveland.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Man charged with disorderly conduct for throwing coins at school bus. That's change we can't be heavin'
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
The artist's latest project: a 19-foot-long aerial view of NYC, drawn from memory after a 20-minute helicopter flight
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
You can now travel as far as 375 miles on Southwest for $25, or put another way about $5 more than United and American charge you just to check your bag
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Five-year-old girl saves mother's life after accident. Your five-year-old is barely potty-trained
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(National Post)
 
 
 
Toronto hiker killed by coyotes in Nova Scotia. Police deny reports that Acme anvils were found at the scene
source: nationalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(WRAL)
 
 
 
Duke sucks. and handcuffs and whips and gags and sodomizes and
source: wral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Ain't no party like a Morayfield party 'cause a Morayfield party will stop when the deck collapses and injures 15 people
source: theaustralian.news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(NYPost)
 
 
 
Some people see passing three warships in the Indian Ocean looking for pirates as a warning sign to turn their yacht around. Then there are those who boast that the waters they sail are too rough for pirates -- with the obvious Fark results
source: nypost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(154)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
Insulin needles being recalled, but don't panic, only 250,000,000 of them could be bad
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Next wave of car flu kills 80 in Pakistan
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Ever wonder what that odd smell was at the police station downtown? The odd smell that's been stinking up the place for the last two years? It's not the fridge, it's the corpse on the roof
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
'Relatively Small' works when describing the type of goldfish you're thinking about buying. It doesn't work so well when describing a fire in a locomotive that's pulling passenger cars at 100mph along a wet track in the dark
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
(c) Take the salesperson on a 100 mile an hour drive, watch him jump from the car, go back to the dealer and set the van on fire
source: timesleader.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
HA HA, QUAKERTOWN POLICE TAKE UNSTABLE MAN INTO CUSTODY
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(327)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Two robbers wearing "Scream" masks invade man's home. That is *SO* 1996
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(22)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ear on the sky
source: butdoesitfloat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(38)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
All the questions you have about H1N1, answered. Yes, "will my child's Halloween candy be infected?" is one of them
source: chicagotribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced this couple's alarm clock with a Chevy Malibu. Let's see if they notice the difference
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(100)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Grrrreat study shows unhealthy cereals marketed to children. Submitter hopes for green light but will settle for yellow moon or purple horseshoe
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Wikipedia)
 
 
 
On this day back in 1943, absolutely nothing even remotely interesting happened at the Philadelphia Naval Shipyard. Nope, nothing to see here, move along
source: en.wikipedia.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
Punk is dead. On the plus side, it does have an awesome grave
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
PTA turns elementary school kids into walking billboards for a she-male phone sex hotline
source: ocregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
After holding up the cashier at a Taco Bell, master criminal asks the manager for an employment application
source: lohud.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(paw nation)
 
 
 
Missing: Baby daddy of ugly-ass Tasmanian devils. Bugs Bunny wanted for questioning (w/pic)
source: pawnation.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(heraldsun.com.au)
 
 
 
Some people can't tell the difference between plasma TVs and LCD TVs. These thieves can't tell the difference between plasma TVs and cardboard displays
source: heraldsun.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Cracked)
 
 
 
"Most of our front end is simply Fark with some different colors"
source: cracked.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
"Some Ford cars are reliable and actually worth buying," says once-reliable Consumer Reports
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(205)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Well, some good news; there were only 93,784 foreclosures on homes in third quarter 2009. While it may not be a...oh. I forgot a zero. Sorry, 937,840 homes were foreclosed
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Computerworld)
 
 
 
Microsoft finally eliminates the BSOD
source: computerworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(458)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this bridge background
source: farm1.static.flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Ahhhh...remember when you were bad in school and had to go to ISS as punishment? Sitting in a desk all day, basic sensory deprivation, getting laid by the supervising aide, ... wait. I don't remember that last part
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(149)
 


Tue October 27, 2009
(SFGate)
 
 
 
San Francisco Bay Bridge rod snaps during rush hour commute, hits vehicles. Bridge closed both directions until further notice. Broken piece was part of Labor Day weekend repairs. Missed submitter by ten minutes. In rod we trust (pics)
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Man knocks on door seeking assistance. In a cow suit. Soaking wet. Because he had just climbed out of his car that he drove into the Niagara River. Surprisingly, alcohol was involved
source: lockportjournal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Columbia Tribune)
 
 
 
Columnist: "my oldest child was drinking full cans of Dr. Pepper by the time she was 3 months old, whereas my youngest wouldn't touch the stuff and preferred Red Bull". What could possibly go wrong?
source: columbiatribune.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(170)
 
(Tulsa World)
 
 
 
Man with a burning desire to avoid going back to prison sets himself on fire when the cops come for him. Makes a big ash of himself
source: tulsaworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
Mysterious library patron censoring naughty words from books. Other readers forced to deal with vandalized copies of "Moby ████" and "Madame B█████"
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Fifteen students left with permanent scars after branding themselves with heated coat hangers at a house party. Don't kids these days play spin the bottle anymore?
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Woman scares off burglar by 'scratching at the door and acting like a large dog.' Good girl
source: fe12.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(News Net 5)
 
 
 
Now Lake Erie has pirates?
source: newsnet5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Data behind global temperature decline is rapidly cooling off
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(453)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Bolivian animal rights activists succeed in banning circuses from using animals, but now have to figure out what to do with 22 useless lions, a problem Detroit has faced for years
source: fe20.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Culpeper Star Something)
 
 
 
"If you masturbate your K-9 unit, you'll have greater control over it."
source: www2.starexponent.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(318)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: What's really at the end of the rainbow
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(54)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Middle-aged men who exercise and eat healthy to ward off heart attacks could keel over any second from ... a heart attack
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(134)
 
(Daily Express)
 
 
 
'It took my fish a little while to get used to drinking milk from my plastic teet'
source: express.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Explorer Ernest Shackleton's Whiskey uncovered in Antarctica, 100 years later
source: globalpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Drunk clown nabbed after police see him driving funny
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Church Ousts accused molester from priesthood. Priest Pledges innocence, insists that trial will be a Febreeze, and is Glade to have chance to Mr. Clean his record
source: chicagobreakingnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
DC sniper to get one shot, one kill
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(730)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Man arrested for being three inches shorter than allowed
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(167)
 
(Canoe)
 
 
 
Balloon mom's admission that the whole thing was a hoax may be a hoax
source: cnews.canoe.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(Albany Times Union)
 
 
 
Voters are advised not to use spaghetti sauce to fill out their absentee ballots in Schenectady, where else?
source: timesunion.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
State registrars to hand out wipes for polls. Giggity
source: nbc29.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Rhode Island man hits pedestrian with car, drives for one mile with man stuck in windshield. Driver charged with leaving the scene of an accident, which is odd, since technically he took it with him
source: fe8.story.media.ac4.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(The Desert Sun)
 
 
 
Police urge people planning to attend a Phish festival this weekend in southern California to refrain from smoking marijuana
source: mydesert.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(269)
 
(wdbo.com)
 
 
 
Police responded to a report of a cliché occuring at a Seminole County intersection early Monday morning
source: wdbo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(137)
 
(wate.com)
 
 
 
Massive rockslide blocks interstate. YOU SHALE NOT PASS
source: wate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(144)
 
(BDCwire)
 
 
 
If you are going to have 'a few beers', best not to park your car on a fire truck
source: wbbm780.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Korean man braves razor wire, land mines, and heavily armed patrols to defect TO the North. Has anyone ever done it quite this wrong?
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(171)
 
(Gizmodo)
 
 
 
Some people undertake inexpensive hobbies like bird-watching, cooking, or gardening. Then there's the guy who spent $50,000 to recreate a vintage Pan Am first-class cabin in his garage
source: gizmodo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(110)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
While throwing your feces may earn you dominant male status in a chimpanzee troop; doing it in a courtroom during your trial will more likely get you 30 years
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(52)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
Baltimore cop suspended for pulling his gun on a man waving a chainsaw in his face
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(228)
 
(gunaxin.com)
 
 
 
"Event Organizers stopped short of actually forcing the Atari into Jack Thompson's rectal cavity"
source: gunaxin.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(97)
 
(kptv.com)
 
 
 
Robotic elk targets poachers, has been reprogrammed to protect John Connor
source: kptv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Well, the world is officially coming to an end. You can now get wigs for your cats
source: clipmarks.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Down's pregnancies up
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(410)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this rural road
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(WPBF.COM)
 
 
 
Robbery 101: 1) Plan your heist, 2) Execute with precision and timing, 3) Make perfect getaway, 4) Oh yes, don't forget your cellphone when you leave
source: wpbf.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(18)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Don't want to go all the way to Florida to wade into a leech-infested swap and wrestle an alligator? Visit scenic Fall River, Massachusetts (pic)
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(thecabin.net)
 
 
 
Stealing a half-million dollars worth of tampons is no way to go through life
source: thecabin.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
♫ You wait 16 days ♫ And what do you get? ♫ Five drug-filled condoms and lots of regret ♫ Saint Peter, don't you call me ♫ 'Cause I can't go ♫ Gonna have woe and a glass of Pepto ♫
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Some recovering cow tipper)
 
 
 
Fly-tipping on the rise. That's how it starts. First flies, then cows
source: thetelegraphandargus.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(My Fox Dallas)
 
 
 
Anthropologists determine modern man and Neanderthals had "sex across the species barrier." This did not end well
source: myfoxdfw.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(321)
 
(The Moscow Times)
 
 
 
Russian lawmaker wants to legislate time itself, cut three time zones
source: themoscowtimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
♫ See this Illinois man, that's the way you do it ♫ Got on the payroll for a firm in Jersey ♫ Never worked a day there but the paychecks kept coming ♫ Money for nothing and chicks for free ♫
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
'Racist' cookie removed from shelves in Australia; now if they'd only do the same with vegemite
source: news.ninemsn.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(178)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Five people are charged with torturing and robbing two loan modification agents they thought falsely promised to save their home from foreclosure
source: ktla.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(91)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop these snowy signals
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Woman kills two men in two different car accidents in the same way at the exact same intersection seven years apart
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(190)
 
(MacWorld)
 
 
 
Eight steps to Internet unpopularity, or "How To Survive A Fark Politics Thread"
source: macworld.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 


Mon October 26, 2009
(CNN)
 
 
 
RIP GeoCities
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(374)
 
(Atlanta Journal Constitution)
 
 
 
In a finding that will surely have nothing to do with too much TV, video games, internet, unhealthy diet, poor parenting, not GOING OUTSIDE, 1 in 5 US kids not getting enough vitamin D
source: ajc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(Des Moines Register)
 
 
 
"He was trying to get snakes out of his homeless camp by pouring gasoline in his camp and igniting it"
source: desmoinesregister.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(TampaBay.com (St. Petersburg Tim)
 
 
 
It's always safer to hire a taxi to take you home after a night on the town. That's assuming your taxi driver isn't stinking drunk as well
source: tampabay.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Canadians can all sleep soundly knowing that "mountain of magic mushrooms" is off the streets
source: calgarysun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(236)
 
(Flickr)
 
 
 
Photoshop this lonely phoner
source: flickr.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(Drew)
 
 
 
"The U.S. is facing an epidemic of swine flu...stories." Don't worry, coming to Fark is an innoculation against media panic. A short post by Drew, then a few of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 10/18 - 10/24
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Engadget)
 
 
 
The motorized Lay-Z-Boy featuring a stereo sound system, nitrous oxide booster, parachute, headlights, a steering wheel, and a sticker that reads: "Hell yeah, it's fast." is going up for auction this week on Ebay with no reserve
source: engadget.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Survey: 85 Percent Of Floridians Buckling Up. Yeah, I misread the headline too
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
Mug shots of Florida hotties arrested for topless "Girls Gone Wild" bar hijinks, including breast spray painting
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(412)
 
(Kansas City)
 
 
 
Thankfully, "Why people on PCP take off their clothes" is just a blog entry, and not a multi-million-dollar scientific study
source: blogs.kansascity.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Man arrested for having 14 snakes in his pants... and, yes, he is single, ladies
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Goat Rustler)
 
 
 
"Everyone understood immediately that these animals are both pets and a means of helping troubled children build confidence and skills." Fark: Goats
source: haaretz.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(82)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
Your dog wants a truck crash
source: bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(AZCentral)
 
 
 
Despite all the economic worries and woes, it's comforting to know these days a guy can still buy a $78 steak inside an Arizona shopping mall. "It has to be gorgeous, welcoming, lush, vibrant and gracious"
source: azcentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: in honor of the "fat" Ralph Lauren model, please photoshop some meat onto a model
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Sandra Bullock locked in battle with porn star. Giggity
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(458)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Fidel Castro's sister says that she collaborated in secret with the CIA. That's one way to get a green card
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Concept by Golden Corral, cooking by the British. This is what hell looks like
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(234)
 
(YouTube)
 
Video
 
What You See Is What You Hear: The most awesome Pulp Fiction mix you will see all day
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Today's "hot naked teacher in trouble for being hot and naked" story comes from New Zealand. Did we mention she was hot and naked? (SFW)
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(378)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Police respond to hair salon after reports of bangs, victims were frazzled and frayed, thankfully nobody dyed
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(24)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
There's a right way and a wrong way to win bingo money. The right way is to complete a row or column on your bingo card and collect your jackpot. The wrong way involves running down the game's organizer and stealing a briefcase of cash
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Some non-Audiophile)
 
 
 
The best customer reviews you've seen since you checked out that wolf T-Shirt at Amazon
source: parts-express.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(424)
 
(WFTV Orlando)
 
 
 
Man "accidentally" fires his shotgun through the "wall" and hits his next-door apartment "neighbor" in the "head"
source: wftv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Foobies)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced this mugger's intended victim with a black belt in karate. Let's see if anyone notices
source: thelocal.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Can I borrow a really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really, really big towel? My train just hit a water buffalo
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(Metro)
 
 
 
One legged man held after stealing a single shoe. Store workers reportedly hopping mad
source: metro.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(CBS13.com - CBS Sacramento)
 
 
 
Reminder: Your emergency satellite locator doesn't make up for your complete inexperience in the wilderness. Corollary: Don't push the panic button because your water "tasted salty."
source: cbs13.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(195)
 
(The Morning Call)
 
 
 
Bridge to undergo facelift. If only your mother were so lucky... or at least not used as often
source: mcall.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(10)
 
(Photo District News)
 
 
 
Photoshop this camouflage class
source: pdnphotooftheday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(The Electric New Paper)
 
 
 
Magician offers magic-trick lessons to help single guys seduce women of their dreams. "Some guys use fast cars, I use a pack of cards"
source: tnp.sg   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
MSNBC explains why FARK exists
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Japanese university plans to support academic study of comic books by opening 2-million-volume "manga" library. Officials hope to find donors willing to raid parents' basements for unsoiled copies
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(84)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
The Throne Clones: How inbreeding has made the British royals look alike for generations
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(117)
 
(asahi.com)
 
 
 
"Finally, a solution to the invasion of giant jellyfish--just eat them"
source: asahi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(WCCO.com)
 
 
 
Running pantsless in handcuffs down the freeway is no way to go through life, son
source: wcco.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Baltimore Brew)
 
 
 
Man kicked out of the mall because of his seizure-alert ferret. No, that's not a euphemism for something
source: digtriad.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 
(Dlisted)
 
 
 
LaToya Jackson still speaks to Michael: "When I go to his house I say, 'Hello, Michael. How are you? If you're here, please, please let me know'. And the lights start blinking"
source: dlisted.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(Boston Herald)
 
 
 
We've secretly replaced this Harvard research team's usual morning coffee with deadly poison. Let's see if they notice
source: news.bostonherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(128)
 
(CBS Sports)
 
 
 
Yankees win 40th pennant. Somewhere, Darth Vader, Lex Luthor, Mr. Burns smile
source: cbssports.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(455)
 

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