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Sun January 03, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fox News)
 
 
 
World's tallest buildings are a) tall and b) equipped with 6000 mph elevators. They report, you decide
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's inspiring when a fireman recruits a 16-year-old Boy Scout Fire Explorer to help put out a blaze. Until the kid has to be hospitalized for smoke inhalation
source: pressdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(32)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Studies show women's feet are getting bigger; researchers cannot point to a sole reason
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(143)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Vultures facing extinction from A: Global warming B: Habitat encroachment or C: Gamblers smoking joints made from their brains, in order to see into the future
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
////
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Guardian)
 
 
 
Feds claim they couldn't have known that a Nigerian on the watch list with no passport and no luggage who bought his one-way ticket with cash and whose father warned us, was a terrorist; continue to search white kids named "Sean"
source: guardian.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(198)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Parents sue 52 yr old son after he blows £100,000 of their money. Son says money not wasted:"I have had some outstanding holidays and experiences which I will always treasure and reflect on"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Dog leaps between 11-year old boy and charging cougar. Man's best friend indeed
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Research shows smacked children do better in life, have faster reflexes
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(Cincinnati Enquirer)
 
 
 
You get arrested for drunk driving. Do you C) return to the police station after being released and go in guns blazing?
source: news.cincinnati.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Dropped cellphone causes teen to get run over by van. No word on remaining rollover minutes
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(70)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Panic room saved artist Kurt Westergaard from Islamist assassin. That and abandoning his grandaughter in the house with an Islamic Assassin
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(344)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Asbestos, the Mafia, and 31 other conspiracy theories that turned out to be true
source: newworldorderreport.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Nic Cage as everyone
source: niccageaseveryone.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Spiegel)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Mattel and Merkel merger
source: spiegel.de   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
DC government sues AT&T over unused minutes. Not on behalf of customers, mind, but on the novel theory that whatever you buy and don't use belongs to the State. Millions of starving Chinese hardest hit
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(The Raw Story)
 
 
 
Fox News pundit: Tiger Woods can stick his putter in any hole he wants, so long as he converts to Christianity
source: rawstory.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(273)
 
(Some Do It Yourself Guy)
 
 
 
Your auto mechanic can't fix your new car because: A. He can't get the parts, B. He's too busy, C. It's copyright infringement?
source: techdirt.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(204)
 
(WOAI)
 
 
 
It may soon be illegal to buy someone else a beer in San Antonio, TX (with picture of what someone really wanting a beer might look like)
source: radio.woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(108)
 
(Columbus Dispatch)
 
 
 
Nanny state of Ohio forbids you from drinking more than 288 bottles of wine this year
source: dispatchpolitics.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(215)
 
(Christian Science Monitor)
 
 
 
Researchers state that the recent surge in gun sales has no correlation to the drop in crime. Researchers then go on to prove that black is white and gets themselves killed at the next zebra crossing
source: csmonitor.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(418)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
British, American embassies closed in Yemen. Yeah, that'll show those terrorists we mean business. Up next: a sharply worded letter
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
If one train leaves Istanbul travelling to Eskisehir at 60 miles per hour, and another train leaves Eskisehir travelling to Istanbul at 55 miles per hour, how long will it take the rescue crews to clear the tracks after they collide head on?
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The bad news is your dog goes missing. The good news is it's found by the SPCA. The asinine news? The SPCA adopts it out to another family less than 72 hours later while not returning your phone calls
source: thechronicleherald.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
The "radical Muslim" who tried to kill the Danish cartoonist who made fun of Allah? Yeah, he was arrested last year for trying to kill Hillary Clinton. But apparently that wasn't serious enough to keep him in custody
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(SomeMonolith)
 
 
 
All these streets are yours except Europa. Attempt no parking there
source: i.imgur.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
"All around you on the beach are weird blokes with hairy backs or bulging beer guts, women with giant bottoms, snotty kids, and they all go out swimming in the same water as you do..."
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this float face
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
You know it's bad when homicides are up 62% and gang members advise the public to buy guns for protection
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
The five biggest tall tales you'll hear from climate change deniers. "We all know journalists hate America. Rather than report the truth, they act as PR agents for the global warming crowd."
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(303)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Pub snowed in for 3 days... drinkers trapped for 72 hours ... "morale remained high"
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(ABC Action News)
 
 
 
Identical twins born in fraternal decades
source: abcactionnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(thesouthern.com)
 
 
 
Sheriff, family charged with "solicitation of murder for ire." Guess they were exasperated by the annoyance of drug trafficking charges and tried to pay someone to unleash the fury
source: thesouthern.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Rick Warren got $2.4 million instead of the $900,000 he asked for. Hallelujah, it's a miracle
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
C) Light the cigarette as you begin siphoning the gas
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Chick)
 
 
 
Man wins $5M lotto. Rides his bike to verify the ticket because his vehicle was stolen last week. Says he'll stay in his trailer and continue pothole filling job
source: dailytelegraph.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(My Fox Orlando)
 
 
 
You're confronted by police officers and about get tased. Do you C) Hold up your baby as a shield
source: myfoxorlando.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
French Muslim "youths" torch 1,137 cars overnight on new years day. This IS a repeat from 2009, 2008, 2007, 2006
source: gatewaypundit.firstthings.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(438)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
In the newest version of Little Red Riding Hood, the Wolf is shooed away, makes friends with Little Red Riding Hood, and becomes a vegetarian
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(71)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this Swiss slope
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(57)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
What's this guy saying to his girlfriend?
source: img.thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 
(The Sun)
 
 
 
Convicted atheist rapist complains that having to share a cell with a Christian violates his human rights. Because this is the UK, his strategy worked
source: thesun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(412)
 
(Salt Lake Tribune)
 
 
 
Utah newspaper decides to shrink the size of all its Sunday comics so it can keep running classics like "Judge Parker," "Prince Valiant," "Rex Morgan, M.D." and "Brenda Starr."
source: sltrib.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(206)
 


Sat January 02, 2010
(Wordpress)
 
 
 
Photoshop The Dirty Delegate
source: intoxicologist.files.wordpress.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
Sanctimonious vegetarians now want meat with their moral superiority. They are still better than you, but at least you can invite them to the BBQ
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(500)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Death toll in attack on Pakistan volleyball game nears 100, which is incredible because that means 100 people were watching a volleyball game
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(81)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Scientists: After years of research, we think women's "G-Spot" doesn't actually exist. Submitter (looking up from his porn): The what now?
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(474)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Smokers upset that new "fire-safe" cigarettes might be bad for their health
source: wtsp.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(322)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Researchers discover plane abandoned in Antarctica back in 1912. Passengers in a state of suspended animation while flight crew awaits delivery of lemon-soaked paper napkins
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(116)
 
(WOAI)
 
 
 
It is now illegal to talk on cell phones while driving through school zones in Texas. Apparently somebody did finally think of the children
source: radio.woai.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(120)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
New statue featuring Winston Churchill, Malcolm X, Harvey Milk and Mother Teresa to have something to offend everyone
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(Click On Detroit)
 
 
 
Shoot a burglar in Detroit? That's a second degree murder charge
source: clickondetroit.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(192)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
When robbing a drugstore, don't stop on the way in to tell an employee on a smoke break what you're doing. And don't ask if he wants anything for himself. And try to carry a more imposing weapon than a garden hose nozzle
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this statue silhouette
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Now that it is 2010, here are phrases that need to disappear because they are not as funny as you think you are, Delmer
source: danwarp.blogspot.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(632)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Parents tattoo six of their kids at home, are surprised that some people had a problem with this. Bonus: "Oh should I not have done that?" vid
source: wrcbtv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(341)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Got concealed gun? Check. Got permit to carry said gun? Check. Got both taken away by cop after he saw your gun, pointed his weapon in your face, discounted your "facially valid" permit and left you alone in a high crime area? Check
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(579)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
In the prehistoric era, young cave dwellers played on pinball machines; this man has 867 of them and wants to start a museum; dadgummit, I say it's a worthy cause, and get off my lawn
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(UPI)
 
 
 
You send us lead-painted toys, we send you 8,500 tons of used tires. It's the American way
source: upi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(45)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
The Great Swine Flu Pandemic of 2009 which killed millions worldwide and plunged the world into chaos... yeah, it's pretty much a bust
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(AskMen)
 
 
 
Beer: The next health drink
source: askmen.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Chron)
 
 
 
NASA is looking for places to donate the space shuttles when they are retired in a couple of years. The multi-billion dollar shuttles will be given away for free, but shipping and handling is $42 million. Your good feedback gets theirs
source: chron.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(176)
 
(Sphere)
 
 
 
The job market is so bad that even the man with the world's biggest penis can't find work, presumably because no one wants to have a giant dick working for them
source: sphere.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(374)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Man who made the turban bomb cartoon depicting radical Islam as violent is violently attacked by a radical Muslim
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(636)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Dutchie and Tootsie, two five-week old kittens found abadoned and half frozen in a clothing collection bin are now recovering with their foster family (and potential adopters) in time for Caturday (with pic)
source: boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(837)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Now even the Leaning Tower is being outsourced to China
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Man buys $3 Billion CD-ROM from Amazon, just to "see what would happen."
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(Seattle Times)
 
 
 
Unlike most other slow news days, 01/02/2010 is also a palindrome. DERRRRP
source: seattletimes.nwsource.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this treetop trim
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(21)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
Additional Farkworthy laws taking effect in California: It is now a misdemeanor to cut off a cow's tail or give laughing gas to a minor
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
Girl punches guy in nose because they had "weird sex." "Weird" as in he called her names and pulled her hair
source: weblogs.sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(The Ledger)
 
 
 
If you shoot the guy who made a drugged sextape with your girlfriend of half your age who you met through banging her mother you shouldn't claim to be an Outlaw when you aren't because they will send their Greek lawyer after you
source: theledger.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(98)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
"I'll be in my tiny, doorless plastic bunk"
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(161)
 
(Missoulian)
 
 
 
Artists transform 4000 copies of white supremacist hate magazines into art exhibit that the authors will probably... hate
source: missoulian.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(184)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Firefighters responding to Utah trailer park blaze hampered by 19 pet pythons
source: google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 


Fri January 01, 2010
(wsmv)
 
 
 
Stupid: man cooks meth in car. Stupider: at gas station. Stupiderest: In front of Gas Pump. Dumbass award: and passes out. Fark: Darwin takes a vacation
source: wsmv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(utwente)
 
 
 
Photoshop this experimental setup
source: stilton.tnw.utwente.nl   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
America's downsizing continues - Inventor of Quarter Pounder now 27 grams lighter
source: thestate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(Jacksonville Journal-Courier)
 
 
 
Illinois town gathers to pray for jobs. "Just watch, we will see results."
source: myjournalcourier.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(298)
 
(CBC)
 
 
 
Man sentenced to 30 days in jail after arguing with fellow airplane passenger over elbow room
source: cbc.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Doctors test Limbaugh's heart, find nothing
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(710)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Man who burglarized Sen. Chris Dodd's office dies of injuries in prison. You might want to consider keeping your Banking Committee and Healthcare Reform criticisms to yourself
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(61)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
If you run an airline it's no big deal to piss off a passenger, it's another thing entirely to piss off Chuck Yeager
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(135)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop Theme: Office Sports
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Bad: You get arrested for making a fake 911 call and possession of heroin. Worse: You also get nailed for bank robbery. Fark: You're dubbed the "Big-Nosed Robber" and get your picture all over the internet
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(75)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
The Grammar Police would like to inform you that 2010 will be pronounced "Twenty ten"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(301)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
December was the first month since the invasion of Iraq that there wasn't a single American combat death in the country
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(250)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Old news, Mayan 2012 death watch - 12.21.2012 , new news biblical rapture watch - 05.21.2011
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(480)
 
(Arizona Star)
 
 
 
Having a "quitting coach" may help smokers kick nicotine. In other news, Sarah Palin's dream job just opened up
source: azstarnet.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Reuters)
 
 
 
Man steals chewing gum so he could be arrested and jailed rather than spend New Year's with his wife
source: reuters.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(66)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Anonymous person who wrote racist letter asking for university to get rid of blacks can be charged with a hate crime according to DA who hasn't bothered to read the letter...or the Constitution
source: dailyadvance.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(400)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If you have any idea why the snow coming down in the Philly area last night was pink, the National Weather Service would love to hear it
source: phillyburbs.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(79)
 
(QC Online)
 
 
 
Over 270 new reasons not to visit Illinois
source: qconline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(78)
 
(The Newspaper)
 
 
 
Driver gets ticket from red light camera, sues city for theft. Fark: the lawsuit actually makes sense
source: thenewspaper.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(295)
 
(Providence Journal)
 
 
 
Rhode Island has safest drivers in U.S. according to study conducted by someone who has never driven in Rhode Island
source: projo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Not news: Fitting into old jeans. News: Considering this accomplishment better than sex, along with 35% of British females. Farking Obvious: Poll conducted by marketers of Special K cereal
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(AOL)
 
 
 
Did Americans get any healthier over the past decade? (please use your dialing wand to indicate your response)
source: news.aol.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Being an honor student doesn't have the same nerd caché that it once had
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this springing squirrel
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(49)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
Put turkey in the oven. Check. Drive to hospital. Check. Give birth. Check. Drive back home one hour after giving birth. Check. Serve Christmas Dinner. Check. Top that, Martha Stewart
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Examiner)
 
 
 
Psychic predictions for 2010 include Obama's assassination, Sarah Palin posing nude, and giant bats
source: examiner.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(186)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Megachurch pastor Rick Warren begs congregation for $900,000 in 48 hours to make up for budget shortfall so that church can continue funding its food bank, homeless shelter and...financial coaching?
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(292)
 
(Omaha World Herald)
 
 
 
Nebraska band can't travel to their bowl game tonight because of bad weather. High school band from Lincoln, already in San Diego, gets the call, has one day to learn fight song
source: omaha.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(83)
 
(WPXI.com)
 
 
 
Garfield man shot in left testicle. Odie humanity
source: wpxi.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(65)
 
(Globe and Mail)
 
 
 
16-year-old disappears with his 42-year-old World of Warcraft soulmate (with pics that are pretty much what you'd expect)
source: theglobeandmail.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(237)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Metric liquid assload of roadway spills onto roadway
source: king5.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(20)
 
(Some Atheist)
 
 
 
In response to new Irish blasphemy law in effect today, Atheist Ireland publishes list of 25 blasphemous quotes
source: blasphemy.ie   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(441)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Doctors at St. James's University Hospital in Leeds, England, have discovered why some pet owners see hairy wall clocks
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(PhysOrg.com)
 
 
 
Norway solves MRSA problem- by stopping rampant overuse of antibiotics. But you of course should be sure your snowflake takes his antibiotics for that little scratch on his knee
source: physorg.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(102)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Puna Kihapai, Hawaii
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(KTAR Radio)
 
 
 
Man falls into firepit while roasting pig. Luauity ensues
source: ktar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Upirngaq Piruqsivik, Alaska
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Attorney on board Flight 253 claims The Undibomber™ and The Sharp-Dressed Man™ had a third accomplice: The Man In Orange©, whose existence the FBI is trying to cover up. Bonus: Photo of hot chick and green beers
source: mlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Springfield, Oregon
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(158)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
London Times first published 225 years ago today; first issue had 3 columns of news, 10 of advertising, prompting Drew of Frankfforte to write "Farkke: How Ye Maedia Passeth Crappe off as Ye News."
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Springfield, Utah
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
They call themselves "preppers." You'll call them "batshiat insane."
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(466)
 
(Mandarin Oriental Barcelona)
 
 
 
Photoshop this modern hotel lobby
source: contemporist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year, Springfield, Illinois
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Springfield, Florida
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(165)
 


Thu December 31, 2009
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year Springfield, Nova Scotia
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Happy New Year, residents of Springfield Road in South River, Newfoundland
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(50)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Home invaders take pants from 11 people, suspects described as appearing Haggard
source: southtownstar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(KCCI)
 
 
 
Today's Fark-ready headline: "Iowa woman fights deer with vacuum"
source: kcci.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Celebrities aren't the only ones who enjoy inflicting challenging names on their children, just ask Crystal Sunshine Turpin Lemons
source: today.msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(199)
 
(Google)
 
 
 
Photoshop theme: 2010: The Year Fark.com Makes Contact
source: images.google.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(io9)
 
 
 
If one half of conjoined twins murdered a person, would the courts have to punish both of them?
source: io9.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(162)
 
(Breitbart.com)
 
 
 
While you were diverted with the holidays, the US Justice Dept gave Blackwater a Christmas present
source: breitbart.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(187)
 
(Bonner County Daily)
 
 
 
Woman charged with battering officer, who was reportedly delicious
source: bonnercountydailybee.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(33)
 
(Oregon Live)
 
 
 
A deckhand who starred in "Deadliest Catch" wanted for bank robberies. How shellfish of him
source: oregonlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
World Champion Liar of 2009: "I just realized how bad the economy really is. I recently bought a new toaster oven and as a complimentary gift, I was given a bank."
source: greenbaypressgazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Dumbass Roundup
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Guy reflects on the six months he has been living soap and shampoo-free. "My wife now mentions more than ever before that "you smell good." OK, I had to post that only because some might worry on that score...."
source: freetheanimal.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Mugging victim knows that her iPhone is being sent to Apple for replacement by the mugger. Apple care? Not much
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(ZDNet UK)
 
 
 
Judge calls bullshiat on iPod hearing-loss lawsuit. I SAID, JUDGE CALLS BULLSHIAT ON IPOD HEARING-LOSS LAWSUIT
source: news.zdnet.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this ghost orb
source: i162.photobucket.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(JSOnline)
 
 
 
All dad wanted for Christmas was a Chub. "I learned from my grandpa to eat them like an ear of corn," Winter said. "You peel the skin back and just start eating."
source: jsonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(103)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Puns and wordplay
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(Some Beatdown Guy)
 
 
 
Man credits Big Brothers program with building character, marksmanship
source: spokesman.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(17)
 
(PC News Herald)
 
 
 
Apparently you can't buy a goat's head at IKEA after all
source: portclintonnewsherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(36)
 
(News.com.au)
 
 
 
Gallery officials shocked that a $48 million Degas painting was stolen despite such state-of-the-art security procedures as "screwing it to the wall" and "locking the museum doors"
source: news.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(62)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
In a study that is likely to shock millions, Dr. Rick Romero reveals that patients who stop smoking after suffering a heart attack tend to live longer
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(25)
 
(Radar Magazine)
 
 
 
Wikipedia was in a little bit too much of a hurry to kill Rush Limbaugh, Abe Vigoda
source: radaronline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(191)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Tylenol expands its recall of its Arthritis Caplets but remind the public that its Arthritis Montagues are still perfectly safe and that they are two products, both alike in efficacy
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(WWL)
 
 
 
Family visits relative's grave, discover she has really bad case of athlete's foot
source: wwltv.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(101)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
It's the same old story. Guy meets girl, guy stalks girl, guy sends girl hundreds of text messages, guy gets arrested
source: skunkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(95)
 
(Gazette)
 
 
 
After a two-hour standoff, police deem empty room not a danger to the public
source: gazette.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(28)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Bali's banging New Year's party to explode with fun and get people fired up
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
While listing memberships in civic organizations is often a good way to enhance your resume, it's probably best not to include your KKK membership, particularly if you work in law enforcement
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(177)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
Police charge Mo trucker and his son for kidnapping an Ohio man and torturing him to death in their basement. No word on whether The Gimp may also face charges
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(107)
 
(Metronews.ca)
 
 
 
Government discovers couple in 70s have access to free heat, orders them to buy fuel like everyone else
source: metronews.ca   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(332)
 
(Telegraph)
 
 
 
Gunman kills five in shooting spree near Helsinki. He then shot himself, so the police believe his spree is Finnish
source: telegraph.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(105)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Father and son force their way into wrong house to pick up another son from a birthday party. Homeowner gets all Second Amendmenty on them
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(662)
 
(Chicago Sun-Times)
 
 
 
Gunmen too weak to steal ATM after failing to convert dollars to pounds
source: suntimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(31)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
There's drunk, damn drunk, extremely drunk, and then there's "setting the state record" drunk
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(172)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this sledding saucer
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(AlterNet)
 
 
 
Why men fake orgasms. Wait, what?
source: alternet.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(588)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Awesome
source: md.tgpsitecentral.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(534)
 
(Some Snow Bunny)
 
 
 
Today's weather forecast: De-icing trucks spraying vodak on the streets to melt the snow, followed by scattered Farkers licking the pavement furiously
source: weather.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Safeway grocery store leaves their doors unlocked on Christmas by accident. Police find people shopping and leaving cash on the counter. No shoplifting or looting occured
source: weaselzippers.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 
(Komo)
 
 
 
The TSA is hard at work at correcting the problems that arose on the flight to Detroit. Just kidding, they're issuing subpoenas to bloggers. Happy New Year
source: komonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Nanny State comes up with a plan to eradicate childhood obesity: parents can no longer park next to a school, forcing kids to walk to and from the classroom
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(73)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Great Moments in Socialized Medicine #2,739: Cut off your ring finger? No problem: The nearest hospital will let you share a cab to another hospital three hours away, where they'll cheerfully throw the severed finger away for you
source: thescottishsun.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(244)
 
(Farktography)
 
Farktography
 
Theme of Farktography Contest No. 243: ClusterFark. Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme
source: farktography.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 


Wed December 30, 2009
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Former WWII pilot, 91, receives Legion of Honor; relates tales of bombing raids, fighting in the French Resistance, and "almost killing the Mona Lisa"
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(48)
 
(Wait...What?)
 
 
 
Police confirmed that Sanders walked into their station the night before Christmas claiming his Peco Street home was missing, but said Sanders frequently buys homes in the county and shouldn't have been surprised
source: thepittsburghchannel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Some Cajun Stoner)
 
 
 
Dangerous pot grower apprehended in Bastrop, LA. With pic of what a marijuana farm may look like
source: bastropenterprise.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(197)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Funeral home cremates the wrong body. Family fuming over mistake
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(Toronto Sun)
 
 
 
We haven't had a good "ducklings rescued from a storm drain" article for several months, so here's a "couple of dumb-ass ducks rescued from a freezing pond by a police marine unit" story to tide you over until spring
source: torontosun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Politico)
 
 
 
Paramedics take Rush Limbaugh to Honolulu hospital with chest pains. Calm, respectful well-wishes, hopes for speedy recovery to the right
source: politico.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(2562)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this angel maker
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(55)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Transportation employee who sent out pics of Obama shining Palin's shoes may soon be hitting the road
source: coloradoan.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)
 
 
 
Man jumps out of third-story window, murders dog, runs naked through tennis club, covers himself in coffee. The Aristocrats
source: nbclosangeles.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
After careful consideration, the guys at TSG have come up with the mug shots of the decade. If you thought 2009 was bad, just you wait
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(157)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
Posh hotel rudely turns away a columnist after she maxed out her credit cards during the holidays. I mean, she was left outside like a homeless person with her Prada bag and everything. UNBELIEVABLE
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(245)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Russian life expectancy increasing, with some hardy seniors reaching the ripe old age of 69
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Joe, she's just a little girl. She can light fires, yes. But you're making her sound like Armageddon
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(87)
 
(Redding.com)
 
 
 
How the Grinch stole after Christmas the court decision regarding the giant fake penis he wore to a meeting on pot club proliferation
source: redding.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(76)
 
(Huffington Post)
 
 
 
Columnist's 12-year-old daughter is on the "no fly" list because she has the same name as an Irish terrorist -- the oh-so-very unique name "Sean Kelly"
source: huffingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(207)
 
(LA Times)
 
 
 
OK, OK, so I shot the deputy
source: latimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(56)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Politics
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Hartford Courant)
 
 
 
Just so you know, when you crash your car, the towtruck guy is there to help. He will probably even give you a ride. You don't need to carjack him
source: courant.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(23)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Edwina the duck dies aged 22. To be cremated slowly in an orange sauce
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(77)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
The worst part about posing nude in the snow? No boots
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(277)
 
(Jena Times)
 
 
 
The government says you can't drink in the barn
source: thejenatimes.net   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(27)
 
(ESPN)
 
 
 
AP reports that it is easier for athletes to gain admission to universities, cheerleader's pants
source: sports.espn.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Business
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
Rubbed the wrong way by rudderless American flight security guidelines, Dutch authorities plan to institute full-body scans at airports
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(145)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Van parked in Times Square
source: abclocal.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(Canada.com)
 
 
 
Mother sues jail for putting her precious snowflake near violent people who don't like sex offenders
source: calgaryherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(243)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Morgan Stanley CEO rejects his year-end bonus for the third year in a row. Hero tag last seen sleeping under interstate
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Pop quiz mother farker, the bill is $19.97 and I give you a $20 bill. How much change do I get back? Seriously, I don't know
source: redtape.msnbc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(719)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Mynd you, concussions from falling møøse heads kan be pretty nasti
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Geek
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(NewsOK)
 
 
 
Former anti-porn crusader says research for "Zipper Disease" explains his stash of Penthouse, Penthouse Secret Fantasies, Penthouse Sex Files, Penthouse Forum, Penthouse Letters, Best of Forum Letters, Penthouse Variations
source: newsok.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(148)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Despite his 11 divorces, the man told the court he never has problems finding women. "I send out a hook in all directions, and the fish come on their own."
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(111)
 
(IndyStar)
 
 
 
Burglars steal 700-pound church safe containing large quantities of gold, trapping camel in eye of needle
source: indystar.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(60)
 
(YouTube)
 
 
 
Image Mangling Retrospective 2009: Submit a compilation of your 'shops. It's our tradition DIT
source: youtube.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(93)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
The AP does an annual round-up of why the Florida tag exists
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(180)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Iranian government offers free metro tickets to anybody who will come out and not protest them
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(34)
 
(Daytona Beach News Journal)
 
 
 
Quilted quicker picker uppers must have been brawny to make off with this bounty
source: news-journalonline.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(16)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Come hungry. Leave drenched in water and flame retardant
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(30)
 
(Buffalo News)
 
 
 
Injured drunk woman treated at hospital after she conveniently crashed her car into it
source: buffalonews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Some Egghead)
 
 
 
NYC soup kitchen gets $1100 can of caviar to feed the downtrodden, now will learn which fortified wine might go with that
source: dnainfo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(233)
 
(uticaod.com)
 
 
 
Pantless Utica man tells police he was robbed. Of his pants and his sneakers. At gunpoint. Bonus: doctor has no idea if the man was shot
source: uticaod.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Old: Unprotected sex might result in pregnancy, diseases. New: Participating in drum circles may give you anthrax
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(63)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
It's official: Dick Clark will be balling this New Year's
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Woman goes into cardiac arrest during labor and dies on the table. Doctors perform emergency C-section only to find that her baby was non-responsive. Then things got all miracle-ly and they both came back from the dead
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(398)
 
(InForum)
 
 
 
Beer can alarm tips off police of nude geriatric fight
source: inforum.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(26)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
New Zealand woman finds perfect way out of a parking ticket: "I could not have been parked there; I was home all day. Having sex. And I have two witnesses'
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
What's worse than a guard falling asleep on the job? Getting caught because an inmate posed for a picture with you
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(118)
 
(PennLive)
 
 
 
Rural county citizens split over first stoplight, which sister is hotter
source: pennlive.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(64)
 
(Boston Globe)
 
 
 
Photoshop this snow shoveling tiger
source: inapcache.boston.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Slate)
 
 
 
This month, in al-Qaida Magazine: "Size Isn't Everything: Using Small Bombs," "5 Tips to Drive Infidels Crazy" and "Suicide Bomber of the Month"
source: slate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(129)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
If you steal a diesel truck, it's probably not a good idea to fill it with unleaded gas and then call the police when it breaks down
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(59)
 
(CBS News)
 
 
 
Company offers free trip to Mexico, if you take their anti-diarrhea drug. Should be defecation of a lifetime
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(139)
 


Tue December 29, 2009
(Sun Sentinel)
 
 
 
"The victim stated that the suspect has told her he is going to put witchcraft on her, beat her up and blow up her home"
source: sun-sentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(39)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Things Police can taser you for now includes: being unresponsive due to coma
source: courthousenews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(287)
 
(NW Florida Daily News)
 
 
 
Woman chokes her husband for not sleeping in the bedroom with her (w/ "I'd cuddle that" mugshot)
source: nwfdailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(ktvb.com)
 
 
 
Woman school teacher going to prison for not being hot enough to get away with having sex with a student
source: ktvb.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(200)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
It holds 10 to 22 people, takes two-hour tours and contains 30 liters of beer: Welcome aboard the Amsterdam beer bike
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(68)
 
(Newsweek)
 
 
 
California cuts free mammograms for low-income women, despite thousands of volunteers willing to administer the test for free
source: newsweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(242)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Photoshop this dam picture
source: edwardburtynsky.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(44)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
New form of rebellion against the older generation includes "not doing drugs, not sleeping around and not getting divorced."
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(342)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Women who get a whiff of a man's 'sexual' sweat experience heightened mood and sexual arousal. Those who smelled his 'normal' sweat get to experience sneaking past his mom on the way out of the basement in the morning
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(335)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Today's "Truck spills metric assload of random food item on roadway" brought to you by Portersville, PA and 5,000 gallons of grape juice
source: newyorkinjurynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Sports
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(122)
 
(SFGate)
 
 
 
In a grievous blow to public safety, court rules that cops can't Tase you unless they have, you know, a reason to do so
source: sfgate.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(212)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Have a yen for nudity? Ayn Rand? Welding? Then these college scholarhip competitions might be for you
source: zencollegelife.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(142)
 
(The Tennessean)
 
 
 
Man, clad in underwear and sandals, kills deer with stick, or as the locals call it "Saturday"
source: tennessean.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(112)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 Headline of the Year contest: Showbiz
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(74)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
Separating the masculine-looking prisoners from the rest of the population in the female prison is just like the Romans separating and killing the strongest gladiators. Except Spartacus never filed a discrimination lawsuit
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(88)
 
(The Consumerist)
 
 
 
Mistake #1: going to Wal-Mart. Mistake #2: buying a can of Chef Boyardee Beefaroni. Mistake #3: thinking Wal-Mart will help when you find a giant mold culture growing inside the can (w/disgusting pic)
source: consumerist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(358)
 
(Nature)
 
 
 
Effect of Cocoa Products on Blood Pressure: Systematic Review and Meta-Analysis. Abstract: mmmmm
source: nature.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(43)
 
(My Fox DC)
 
 
 
After a sleepless, overnight flight to Oslo to accept the Nobel Peace Prize earlier this month, President Barack Obama made a not altogether surprising admission. He was tired
source: myfoxdc.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Charlie Sheen's career won't be affected by scandal because everyone already knows he's a douchebag. It's not news, it's CNN
source: edition.cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(138)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Super-picky Bay Area woman looking for house has an epic hunt
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(220)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Meet Christine, who lost 54 pounds from a steady diet at Taco Bell. Well, duh
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(354)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Woman calls police to report her cat is "doing her head in" by playing with string. "It's being going for two hours now. It's an emergency" (with audio goodness)
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(114)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Japanese man sets a world record for a hand-launched plane made with only paper. For those born in the internet-age, go ask your father what a paper airplane is
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(124)
 
(Washington Post)
 
 
 
"Welcome to the DC DMV. Your vehicle inspection and emission test will cost $35." "But inspections aren't required any more." "Welcome to the DC DMV. Your emission test will cost $35."
source: washingtonpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(249)
 
(Wall Street Journal)
 
 
 
Photoshop this scythe-holding searcher
source: online.wsj.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(Wired)
 
 
 
Original Homestar viewers are now all members of AARP. Why won't Homestar just go away?
source: wired.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(280)
 
(Quad City Times)
 
 
 
Ugly-ass baby giraffe born at Niabi Zoo
source: qctimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(41)
 
(Sydney Morning Herald)
 
 
 
Police granted authority to declare search warrant free zones around bars and train stations and strip search anybody who might have weapons or breasts
source: smh.com.au   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(160)
 
(BBC)
 
 
 
Yes Virginia, Santa is dead and Turkey would like his bones
source: news.bbc.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(Sify)
 
 
 
Realizing one can defer their student loans if they are still attending school, should you C.) Get 22 Masters Degree, 5 PhDs, and 3 Doctorate in Literature...and afterwards go back for the 23rd Masters degree at age 65
source: sify.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(164)
 
(Stuff.co.nz)
 
 
 
Three teenagers commit robbery with a knife, a stick, and a plastic toy leg, finally letting the world know what comes below a stick in the hierarchy of weaponry
source: stuff.co.nz   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(40)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
Shooting your ______ in the ____ as a disciplinary measure. It's in Florida so I'm sure you can fill in the blanks
source: tcpalm.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(119)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
If there's something you only get to do once a year AND once in a blue moon, 12/31 might be your lucky day
source: universetoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(179)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
My best friend's sister's boyfriend's brother's girlfriend heard from this guy who knows this kid who's going with the girl who saw the son of Obama's friend pass out in Hawaii last night. I guess it's pretty serious
source: thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(155)
 


Mon December 28, 2009
(CBS News)
 
 
 
CBS: MSNBC sucks at breaking news off-hours
source: cbsnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(109)
 
(AL.com)
 
 
 
So this guy tries to walk out of Wal-mart with a cart full of electronics, and an off-duty cop tackles him. His wife then fakes a heart attack to try to keep out of jail. Then some lady calls her on it and things get all stabby. The Aristocrats
source: blog.al.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(72)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You may need to ease up on your indoor pot growing operation if you need so much energy it leaves your street in the dark. "The bulbs could hardly flicker"
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(92)
 
(TC Palm)
 
 
 
If your father tells you to make your own lunch, the obvious response is to hit him in the head with a candle holder. This of course leads to the drawing of pistols. Then things get strange. (mugshot goodness)
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(60)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Two former Guantanamo detainees released in 2007 were Al Qaeda leaders who planned the attempted bombing of NWA 253. Obvious tag in the hospital with third degree burns to its crotch
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(340)
 
(Daily Mail)
 
 
 
You might be a fugitive if you spent your Christmas taunting police by posting topless pictures of yourself on Facebook adorned in tinsel, making a rude gesture and holding a turkey
source: dailymail.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(58)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
Debt in America: strategically default on your mortgage and downgrade from the SUV to a used Corolla. Debt in Egypt: sell a kidney for $2k to put food on the table. Ouch
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(127)
 
(BusinessWeek)
 
 
 
Ever ignore the seatbelt sign on an airplane? Ever decide to watch a crappy Jamie Foxx movie on your flight? Congratulations, you're engaging in terrorist activity
source: businessweek.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(229)
 
(AP)
 
 
 
Former beauty queen from Alaska busted for fraudulently trying to obtain more than $600,000 in student loans to enrich herself. No, not her
source: hosted.ap.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(42)
 
(Fox News)
 
 
 
This just in: metal detectors are useless for...wait for it...detecting non-metal explosives
source: foxnews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(Contact Music)
 
 
 
CNN accused of "checkbook journalism" after paying the Dutch passenger who subdued the Dumbass Christmas Plane Would-Be Bomber. Apparently, that sort of thing is frowned upon
source: contactmusic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(90)
 
(Orlando Sentinel)
 
 
 
Man steals a trailer filled with $40,000 worth of cheesecakes. If the cops don't get him, his clogged arteries will
source: orlandosentinel.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(51)
 
(National Geographic)
 
 
 
Photoshop this triple threat
source: photography.nationalgeographic.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(37)
 
(The Smoking Gun)
 
 
 
You know that picture of President Kennedy on the boat with the naked girls? Yeah about that (image in link is NSFW)
source: thesmokinggun.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(188)
 
(CNN)
 
 
 
Obamacare won't make a difference because Americans are too drunk, lazy, fat and stupid to stay out of the hospital to begin with
source: cnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(226)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
As far as sequels go, "Flattened Otter's Tire Tread Christmas" is less than heartwarming
source: search.mtdemocrat.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(67)
 
(NPR)
 
 
 
Juarez can be loosely translated to mean, "Murder Capital of the Western Hemisphere"
source: npr.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(231)
 
(Fark)
 
 
 
Fark's 2009 HEADLINE OF THE YEAR contest
source: fark.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(270)
 
(ABC)
 
 
 
The dazzling deductive skills of the Northhampton, MA police have led them to label as "suspicious", 9 fires that all broke out between 2 and 3am, within a block or two of each other
source: abcnews.go.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(69)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Scientists discover a new species of cockroach living in New York City. As well as an ostrich, paddlefish, bison and even a giant flying squid
source: mnn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(126)
 
(Pew Forum)
 
 
 
Mississippi tops list as being America's most religious state, which is no surprise since everyone there prays to win the lottery
source: pewforum.org   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(132)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
White hat hackers stage their own version of the Zombie Apocalypse, killing 200,000 "zombies" by taking down the Mega D Bot-net
source: news.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(99)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Hey Dad, remember the Christmas when we went down to Taco Bell, got into a fight in the parking lot, and got arrested? Good times
source: skunkpost.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(29)
 
(Yahoo)
 
 
 
10 things husbands shouldn't do, as written by a self-important, jobless wench with bad hair
source: shine.yahoo.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(1048)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
College campuses are adding more and more "green majors" to their rosters, opening up a career path for those who can't hack the rigor of liberal arts
source: usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(343)
 
(USA Today)
 
 
 
One passenger out of a million failed to blow up one airliner out of a thousand on one day out of the year, so we should let the TSA strip scan anybody they want to
source: blogs.usatoday.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(531)
 
(New York Daily News)
 
 
 
With Tiger Woods being dropped from sponsorships left and right, be a good sport and Photoshop him in some new sponsorships
source: nydailynews.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(53)
 
(SanDiegoUnionTribune)
 
 
 
Note to parents: If your kid illegally crosses into North Korea with a Christmas Card for Kim Jong Il, don't be surprised when he doesn't phone home for a few days
source: signonsandiego.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(85)
 
(London Times)
 
 
 
Having never seen Poltergeist, US Marines build outpost on graveyard. What could possibly go wrong?
source: timesonline.co.uk   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(146)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Two men arrested after using sledgehammer and croquet balls to turn their apartment into an art gallery (with mugshots)
source: gainesville.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(35)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a giant stainless steel Lenin with a feminised Chairman Mao on his head
source: timescolonist.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(46)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
Mine explosions kill 12 in China. 1,325,639,982 still trapped
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(The New York Times)
 
 
 
Czechs Hungary to Pole the Communist Party out of elections, which they claim is abSerb and could Croat a bad precedent
source: nytimes.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(123)
 
(MSNBC)
 
 
 
The 2009 Delicious Irony award goes to Native American tribes, who are using funds from casinos to buy America back, a few thousand acres at a time
source: msnbc.msn.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(423)
 
(Miami Herald)
 
 
 
"In a setback for U.S. interests in Central America, voters in Honduras elect, as their new president, Rod Blagojevich"
source: miamiherald.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(47)
 
(Some Guy)
 
 
 
Arsonist sets 22 fires in Houston neighborhoods in an apparent attempt to beautify the city
source: apnews.myway.com   |   share: Share on Facebook Share on Twitter
(80)
 

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