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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun April 25, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Yahoo) Interesting Not News: Two towns argue over boundary. Fark: Towns used old maps, not GPS to solve the issue  (news.yahoo.com) (89)
(1010WINS) Interesting Not news: A teacher gets her stolen car back. Fark: It was a hell of a lot better than when it was stolen  (1010wins.com) (184)
(Some Guy) Obvious Illinois politicians want the National Guard to hit the streets in Chicago to help quell out of control violence. This is not a repeat from 1889  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (238)
(Time) Sappy For over 17,544 hours, Dragonfly Forest has offered a traditional 7200 minute summer camp experience for autistic children  (time.com) (64)
(Daily Mail) Scary 11-year-old is aging at five times the normal speed, due to genetic defect so rare that he's the only one on Earth with it  (dailymail.co.uk) (198)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this high diver  (cache.boston.com) (46)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Academic feud erupts at university over disputed scientific finding. Evolution? Global warming? Nah, the effectiveness of red light cameras  (tampabay.com) (108)
(About.com) Asinine In 1901 on this date New York became the first state to require license plates on vehicles, though Massachusetts claims to be the first to "issue" plates. Lawsuits and jailarity may follow  (history1900s.about.com) (54)
(Dallas News) Spiffy Good news everyone. New regulations kicking in Thursday mean that airlines will no longer be able to hold you hostage on the tarmac for hours on end  (dallasnews.com) (149)
(NPR) Scary Poison suspected after 80 Afghan school girls get sick. Bret Michaels is having the worst week ever  (npr.org) (102)
(Some Pinhole Photographer) Interesting If you ever wondered what a photograph with a six month long exposure looks like, and I know you have, wonder no more  (householdname.typepad.com) (78)
(ABC News) Unlikely Obama prepares eulogy for dead miners, links their lives to the pursuit of the American Dream. Yep, I've always aspired to crawling on my hands and knees in a dark tunnel with explosives and a pickaxe while breathing in toxic coal dust  (abcnews.go.com) (175)
(Some Guy) Hero What the Hero tag is really for: Navy pilot held her steady so the other three could bail out  (dispatch.com) (268)
(Daily Express) Cool England's Prince Beatrice hopes to become the first royal to finish the London Marathon (with "yeah, I think I would" picture)  (express.co.uk) (136)
(Paste Magazine) Silly Eleven gift ideas for your mother for Mother's Day. Assuming your mother reads Pitchfork, listens to the White Stripes, and drinks fair trade coffee. So, if you're mother isn't a hipster douchette, you're out of luck  (pastemagazine.com) (78)
(Yahoo) Amusing One in five Britons believes the elusive wild haggis still roams free in Scotland. Mmm... haggis  (news.yahoo.com) (89)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Why your precious little snowflake is a wimp  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (130)
(Kansas.com) Amusing Tattooed bicyclist miffed about being pulled over while wearing a thong  (kansas.com) (100)
(Some Guy) Interesting Pioneers of modern tattoos. Is that Grandma?  (lazypalace.com) (89)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Pope said to be "offended" by UK Government Foreign Office suggestions that he launch his own condom range, sing a duet with the Queen, and apologize for the Spanish Armada on his upcoming visit to the UK  (dailymail.co.uk) (93)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this two-wheeled tribute  (spiegel.de) (12)
(The Times of India) Unlikely A cuddle is better than sex, according to a survey of men who wanted to get the survey taker in the sack  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (90)
(ABC News) Obvious Financial expert Ric Romero: "Credit cards and debit cards may look the same, but they don't work the same. In fact, using your debit card in the wrong places could be disastrous to your bank account"  (abclocal.go.com) (133)
(Toronto Sun) Asinine Proving once again that those who can't teach teach gym: substitute teacher tells student to remove medic alert bracelet because it's jewelry. For the third time  (torontosun.com) (127)
(Canoe) Florida Bible-thumper freaks out on "Satan's" aircraft and gets secured by passengers, now in Federal custody FTW  (cnews.canoe.ca) (192)
(News.com.au) Asinine This 100-year-old World War II hero escaped a POW camp, dodged bombs at sea for three weeks, and warned fellow soldiers of the enemy advance. Too bad his government doesn't feel compelled to pay him any compensation  (news.com.au) (75)
(London Times) Spiffy News: Britain has paved the way for immigration reform by reclassifying millions as citizens. FARK: They're grey squirrels  (timesonline.co.uk) (31)
(CBS Miami) Florida Gallant shows respect for the dead and adheres to cemetery rules. Goofus steals brass vases from headstones and gets in trouble with the law  (cbs4.com) (23)
(The Times of India) Scary Passengers on an Emirates flight have an enjoyable trip... except for that whole falling 15,000 feet thing  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (67)
(Canoe) Hero A dog named "Moose" credited with saving chocking toddler while three cats watch impassively. Steak, please  (cnews.canoe.ca) (105)
(The New York Times) Dumbass Want to insure that Obama will not be able to snatch you or your loved ones from bed in the dead of night to face the judgment of his Obamacare Death Panels, but worry you can't afford such coverage?  (nytimes.com) (97)
(Daily Mail) Strange In another study aimed to help fatties distance themselves from personal discipline but not the buffet: dieters are more likely to over-indulge if their waiter is fat  (dailymail.co.uk) (25)
(News 10 ABC Sacramento) Silly Joey Chestnut downs 8 pounds, 7 ounces of asparagus in under 12 minutes, peels wallpaper in bathroom after contest  (news10.net) (44)
(Washington Post) Stupid License plate "14CV88" revoked because of being offensive; subby would post the explanation but can't do so within the 350 character headline limit  (washingtonpost.com) (381)
(News.com.au) Fail Man's 600ft suicide plunge from the Gap fails due to freak wave; pile of folded sweaters  T-Shirt  (perthnow.com.au) (34)
(Metro) Weird There are guilt issues, there are crippling guilt issues, and then there are stark-raving insane guilt issues that make you feel anguish over stealing a cake 50 years ago  (metro.co.uk) (21)
(SacBee) Hero Woman braves busy traffic to save 14 ducklings. She's keeping it real for her peeps on the streets  (sacbee.com) (35)
(Some Guys) Photoshop Photoshop these lamp designers with their creations  (contemporist.com) (28)
(Lifehacker) Obvious Learn how to pair beer with food  (lifehacker.com) (83)
(WTOP) Scary Popular DC school principal discovers his home was site of multiple murders. Has exorcism to cleanse house. Finds out the hard way it was unsuccessful  (wtop.com) (57)
(The New York Times) Dumbass Marijuana legalization group introduces new line they call "pot lite" with less THC to appeal to people who want to use pot but don't want to get high. Pst, the THC is also the active medical ingredient. You're doing it wrong  (nytimes.com) (68)
(USA Today) Interesting China set to ease the one child per family rule in an effort to boost the labor force in five years  (usatoday.com) (55)
(News.com.au) Scary Woman loses eye in bathroom from another woman's stiletto. Now that's what I call a wide stance  (news.com.au) (30)
(News.com.au) Sad Man dies while mounting Uluru; Kirk unimpressed  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (36)
(Guardian.com) Sad History repeats itself as it turns out that respected "Band of Brothers" WWII expert Stephen Ambrose made everything up  (guardian.co.uk) (132)
(My Fox Dallas) Dumbass Adelaide restaurant owners fined for barring blind man from their establishment because they thought his guide dog was gay  (myfoxdfw.com) (56)
(News.com.au) Hero Australia's homeless community receives $3 million worth of pineapple. For those of you playing along at home, that's a metric crapload of pineapple  (news.com.au) (31)
(News.com.au) Strange Holy sheet. Runaway teenager found alive and well after living in a Bed Bath and Beyond store for four days  (news.com.au) (54)

Sat April 24, 2010
(UPI) Strange Workers at a Massachusetts shellfish plant were surprised to discover their haul contained wooden crates of undetonated WWII French grenades  (upi.com) (76)
(Some Girl) Photoshop Photoshop this post celebration  (sportpicture.ru) (33)
(Jalopnik) Cool Hu Jintao's personal limo is part Rolls Royce, part Cadillac, part retro-futurism and whole lot of crazy  (jalopnik.com) (103)
(My Damn Keyboard) Hero Farker to retire his IBM keyboard after 9 years loyal duty, 8 key starting to stick, minus key on keypad NEVER USED Replacing with 1 of 5 backups from closet My GOD the keyboards will outlast me Your keyboard SUCKS  (upload.wikimedia.org) (527)
(Some Guy) Stupid Remember "Josta"? You can get a 6-pack .. for $250  (sodafinder.com) (243)
(Some Guy) Obvious East Haven, Connecticut: Of 376 tickets handed out, 56.3 percent were issued to drivers with Hispanic last names in a town that has a Hispanic population of 5.8 percent. Is that wrong?  (nhregister.com) (241)
(Bend Bulletin) Obvious Study finds high school teens texting more than 100 times day. I suppose that's better than listening to them yap away like a rabid hyena all day long  (bendbulletin.com) (39)
(Washington Post) Obvious If your Twitter buddy suddenly starts spouting off about telecom regulatory policy, he may be a lobbyist  (washingtonpost.com) (36)
(24 World News) Asinine Close to 950,000 Facebook users have "liked" a page hoping for President Obama to join Michael Jackson and a host of other deceased celebrities  (24worldnews.com) (430)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Your child was born via C-section, bites her nails and you cuddle her before dropping her off at daycare. Congratulations, you're an abusive parent  (dailymail.co.uk) (179)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these silicone smiles  (spiegel.de) (33)
(Omaha World Herald) Strange Not news: Woman fired from department store. Still not news: she only worked 8 hours a week. THIS IS AN OUTRAGE: she survived a deadly shooting at the store in 2007  (omaha.com) (108)
(CIN) Weird Man's impromptu 173-foot jump performed with stock Chevy Malibu ends inside third-floor apartment  (chevroletinthenews.com) (70)
(Daily Mail) Stupid New laws may force families to use up to nine separate bins for recycling. Because nine plastic bins per family, per week is better for the environment. Never mind the £100 on-the-spot fines for breaches, it's for the enviroment  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)
(YNN Rochester) Fail For Sale: Two kids, slightly used. Good for slave labor or footstools. $200, incl. 12 pack of diapers and 1 dirty shirt each. No, it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests  (rochester.ynn.com) (39)
(The Local (Sweden)) PSA It's official: Princess Madeleine is single again, and heading your way  (thelocal.se) (70)
(News.com.au) Scary Man facing 20 years for child porn released when actress is tracked down and proves to the court she was of legal age  (news.com.au) (239)
(The Newspaper) Stupid Los Angeles inserts 0.6 second red light between yellow and green to boost revenue from drivers who blink  (thenewspaper.com) (213)
(The Consumerist) Sick Because you need to combine two of the worst things in creation, someone has put the KFC Double Down between two Krispy Creme glazed donuts  (consumerist.com) (94)
(Cracked) Amusing Oh look, someone stepped out of the kitchen long enough to pretend her opinion matters. Ain't that adorable?  (cracked.com) (123)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Now, if I'd known they'd line up just to see him, I'd trade in all my money and bought me a museum. Live from New York, it's King Tut. This is not a repeat from 1979  (nydailynews.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Asinine 14-year-old dies from meth overdose. Big brother, whose 15-year-old girlfriend is pregnant, kicks out cop car window during vigil. Dad blames cops. Ta-da  (newsleader.com) (96)
(Daily Express) Silly Silliest picture of a squirrel who bumped his head you'll see this morning  (express.co.uk) (48)
(ABC News) Followup Swim coach pleads guilty to having sex with underage swimmer. With reasonably hittable pic ... wait, that's a MAN. [insert double-standard moral outrage to the right]  (abcnews.go.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Sad Last Idaho caveman dies. Lived without any of the conveniences of the modern world, except car insurance  (idahostatesman.com) (71)
(Yahoo) Obvious Smoking that there wacky weed? Yer nothing but a law-breaking criminal... unless yer not feeling well, shucks, then it's all right I suppose  (news.yahoo.com) (182)
(CBS Miami) Florida Clearly, it wasn't a Goodyear for the robbers who got shot by a tire store owner  (cbs4.com) (17)
(Daily Mail) Interesting US authorities charge British man with assisting suicide, after he told people on the Internet to kill themselves. All those times Subby told you to FOAD or DIAF, he didn't really mean it, okay?  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(cfnews13.com) Florida I saved a turtle  (cfnews13.com) (23)
(CBS News) Obvious Five years ago YouTube debuted with a 19 second video. Thus began the decline and fall of Western Civilization (oh look, a kitty)  (cbsnews.com) (68)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this ringside reach  (online.wsj.com) (38)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man arrested for blowing nose on girlfriend - it'snot what you think  (nwfdailynews.com) (47)
(The Morning Call) Fail PROTIP: If your license plate lights are out, you should probably think twice about driving around with marijuana, heroin, 249 Effexor pills, a digital scale, and drug-packaging materials  (mcall.com) (61)
(The Morning Call) Strange The future of two orphaned bear cubs depends on... *spins the Wheel of Randomness* ... Vicks VapoRub  (mcall.com) (14)
(AOL News) Amusing Ten questions from the last week of Fark stories. How many do you know? Difficulty: no answer "c"  (aolnews.com) (25)
(PressHerald.com) Scary The good news is you got the H1N1 vaccination and didn't get the flu. The bad news is you got the H1N1 vaccination and are at risk for Guillain-Barre syndrome, Bell's palsy, and thrombocytopenia  (pressherald.com) (126)
(CBS News) Spiffy Forget the mamby-pamby bucket list. Here's a much more important list: 50 beers to try before you die  (cbsnews.com) (115)
(Baltimore Sun) Caturday At 17.1 inches, Scarlett's Magic is named the world's tallest cat by the Guinness Book of World Records, just in time for Caturday  (weblogs.baltimoresun.com) (722)
(KENS-TV) Spiffy Shake and bake mobile meth labs--when you absolutely, positively, have to get there high  (kens5.com) (32)
(Telegraph) Asinine Old and busted: Speed cameras. New hotness: Speed satellites  (telegraph.co.uk) (69)
(Courier-Mail) Strange Court approves 11 year-old girl's request to have her testicles removed. Wait, what?  (couriermail.com.au) (93)
(AJC) Dumbass It's been 25 years since Coca-Cola inflicted an unspeakable atrocity upon the American population  (ajc.com) (193)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If you rob the same bank three times in less than two months, you might want to pick one that isn't around the corner from your house  (herald-dispatch.com) (18)
(PennLive) Strange If you're a teacher, it's understandable that your hands may get covered in chalk dust. However, offering extra credit to students who lick the dust off your hands is generally frowned upon  (pennlive.com) (19)
(The Sun) Obvious Meat-craving woman gives birth to 13-pound pot roast  (thesun.co.uk) (50)
(Daily Mail) Cool Model. TV presenter. Astrophysicist. Winner of $1.7 million poker tournament. Heavy metal fan. Female. Yes, there are pictures  (dailymail.co.uk) (251)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop these bearded weirdos  (inapcache.boston.com) (36)
(NewsOK) Asinine You are called to your son's school because his classmate cut off his Steven Seagal ponytail in art class. Do you (C) Make a citizen's arrest of the 13-year-old barber for assault and battery  (newsok.com) (189)
(Gawker) Stupid Being drunk and thinking you're a vampire is no way to go through life, Son  (gawker.com) (35)
(Some Iowa Guy) Dumbass 18-year old pregnant woman assaulted, ambulance arrives, while she and her seven-month old daughter are in the ambulance the daughter starts choking and the cops recover a bag of weed from her mouth. The Aristocrats  (gazetteonline.com) (136)

Fri April 23, 2010
(Canoe) Amusing Saskatchewan bank robber turns out to be a worse ninja than Chris Farley  (cnews.canoe.ca) (31)
(ABC News) Cool Female teacher accused of having year-long fling with 14 year old student, plying him with gifts and good grades. With 'Meh-I'll do her for a Wii' mugshot goodness  (abcnews.go.com) (114)
(Philly) Scary Philly may be the city of brotherly love and it wouldn't be a bad idea if the women stopped setting people's faces on fire  (philly.com) (25)
(ThisOldHouse) Fail Nails guns are powerful. People are stupid. X-rays reveal what happens when these two fundamental truths come together  (thisoldhouse.com) (83)
(Stationary Terrapin) Followup You may all breathe easier now. The missing tortoise has been found  (wcax.com) (30)
(AP) Followup Governor terminates Oklahoma abortion bills  (hosted.ap.org) (166)
(CNN) Sad ♫ Every roth hath ith thorn ♫  (cnn.com) (268)
(Gawker) Followup Nabisco responds to Revolution Muslim leader's attack on Triscuits after "South Park" fans hacked his web site  (gawker.com) (209)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Joe Cool, meet Shrek. This week's Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (226)
(Washington Post) Followup After 28 years in a mental institution, would-be presidential assassin John Hinckley is nearing release. For the love of god, nobody tell him that Jodie Foster is a lesbian now  T-Shirt  (washingtonpost.com) (127)
(LA Times) Strange Sea lion, what are you doing on that roof, you are a sea lion. How did you even get up there you don't have any legs (w/ vid)  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (47)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Stupid Gold sales meets combine the allure of tupperware parties with the class of hocking precious family heirlooms for beer money  (rgj.com) (39)
(CNN) News Arizona Governor signs immigration law, more Mexicans to celebrate Cinco de Mayo at home this year  (cnn.com) (lots)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this encapsulated engine  (bigpicture.ru) (31)
(SacBee) Stupid Not news: adult superstore employee fired. Fark: for not being gay  (sacbee.com) (134)
(Reuters) Interesting South Korea is unwilling to retailate for North Korea's torpedo strike. Sometimes, the only winning move is not to play  (reuters.com) (98)
(News Press) Amusing Woman arrested for urinating on clothes. Why yes, this did happen in a Florida Walmart, why do you ask?  (news-press.com) (71)
(AOL News) Followup Pirates working hard to protect Djibouti  (aolnews.com) (57)
(AP) Silly Half-naked warrior chick riding a polar bear to defeat the Demon Queen has nothing on Frank Frazetta, Jr. commandeering a backhoe to steal his father's art  (hosted.ap.org) (73)
(Denver Post) Unlikely Lawyers say their client shot his girlfriend's ex-husband with an assault rifle in self defense. Then shot him in self defense. Then shot him in self defense. Then shot him in self defense. Then shot him in self defense. (repeat x29)  (denverpost.com) (92)
(Columbus Dispatch) Sick @Ohio Considers Using Twitter to Announce Executions  (dispatch.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Obvious Your facebook account is for sale  (net-security.org) (79)
(CNN) Amusing "Carrying bottled water is on its way to being as cool as smoking while pregnant"  (cnn.com) (286)
(The Consumerist) Dumbass Website allows users to share their credit card purchases with friends on social networking sites. Wait, replace "purchases" with "numbers," and "friends" with "everyone on the internet"  (consumerist.com) (62)
(AJC) Stupid Woman's brother comes home with the wrong kind of beer, so naturally she throws a knife at his head. Luckily for him he ducks, but the three-year old kid behind him didn't have the same cat-like reflexes  (ajc.com) (92)
(The Correctness) Cool Supervillain Smackdown Semi-Finals: Dr. Doom vs. Mystique  (thecorrectness.com) (85)
(ABC News) Cool A Missouri man who won a $258 million Powerball jackpot and plans to use some of the money to pay bills and take his children to Disney World. Oh, and replace his two missing front teeth  (abcnews.go.com) (233)
(Denver Post) Asinine Newspaper sends reporter to ask man who lost his pinky finger if it hurts. The answer for which the world has waited with bated breath: "It hurts a lot"  (denverpost.com) (40)
(BBC) Unlikely Catholic church: "Here, a bishop resigned -- we're cool now, right?"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (162)
(YouTube) Amusing And now for your viewing pleasure, a compilation of the staggering morons on infomercials who can't perform simple tasks  (youtube.com) (151)
(Cracked) Ironic The five biggest assholes who ever turned out to be right  (cracked.com) (152)
(CNN) Interesting "No hooking up, no sex for some coeds". Duke only sucks if you give them a two-carat ring  (cnn.com) (148)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Friday Photo Fun with a little twist. Match the really ugly chick to her really crappy tat. Contest ends at 6pm Eastern  (thesmokinggun.com) (65)
(ABC News) Spiffy In an unprecedented display of self awareness for frat boys, members of the Kappa Alpha fraternity realize that even if they were founded by Robert E. Lee himself, parading around in Confederate uniforms in 2010 is kind of a dick move  (abcnews.go.com) (406)
(WLBZ2.com) Obvious "In a 2009 lab study researchers soaked one cigarette butt in less than a gallon of water for 24 hours, then added minnows to the tank. About half of the fish were dead within days." The rest have come a long way, baby  (wlbz2.com) (416)
(Philly) Spiffy Never have so many tennis balls been so slobbered on: Family has a "Golden Retriever Party" in their backyard (pics)  (philly.com) (190)
(Daily Mail) Sick E.coli found in every sample perfume tester on beauty counters. Eau de Toilet, indeed  (dailymail.co.uk) (100)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fishy flight  (i.imgur.com) (41)
(Telegraph) Dumbass You're doing 70 mph down the freeway when you get a cramp. Do you: C) wind your window down and stick your leg out?  (telegraph.co.uk) (56)
(The Consumerist) Silly Ah, Spring, when people go to buy liquor at Target, get mad because the store scans their ID, and then biatches about it on The Consumerist  (consumerist.com) (416)
(Some Guy) Sick You may have a meth problem if cops find you hiding out in a vat of manure  (journalgazette.net) (72)
(Science Daily) Cool Cold climates linked to prostate cancer. Researchers blame pollutants, shrinkage  (sciencedaily.com) (25)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Side effects may include dizzyness, dry mouth, constipation, and the desire to steal $400 worth of crosses, solar lights, and angel figurines from strangers' gravesites  (nwfdailynews.com) (29)
(MSNBC) Hero Today we salute you, Mr TSA agent, for making that brilliant and timely decision that Mr Unidentified Passenger should be placed on a no-fly list. While flying  (msnbc.msn.com) (106)
(Sum Guy) Fail Note to North Korea: If you use Babelfish to translate your state-run news stories into English, the results could be "cataclysmic". They could also inadvertently cause you to tell the truth  (kcna.co.jp) (130)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this chairy caravan  (inapcache.boston.com) (31)
(Fast Company) Spiffy Bolivia restores missing ingredient to Coca-Colla. And no, it's not the extra L  (fastcompany.com) (103)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Doctors in Spain perform world's first full face transplant. Patient expected to remain in hospital for two months, upon which he will be released on someone else's recognizance  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (62)
(Some Guy) Amusing Blow darts? really?  (weau.com) (65)
(Press of Atlantic City) Stupid 2004: Kid humiliated by coach with "crybaby award." Coach fired, kid honored. 2010: Guess who is facing gun and weapons charges, leading police on car chase. Welcome to Pleasantville   (pressofatlanticcity.com) (200)

Thu April 22, 2010
(Courthouse News) Weird A man sentenced to death for raping and strangling a 15-year-old girl will get a new trial after it was discovered that the jury sent penis-shaped chocolates to the judge and breast-shaped chocolates to the bailiff  (courthousenews.com) (85)
(Kansas City) Hero High school holds special graduation ceremony for student who won't live to see the real one. Dust all over the damn place  (kansascity.com) (207)
(SeattlePI) Hero Seattle police harass and illegally arrest a man, then "lose" the dash-cam videos. Unfortunately for them, that man was a nerd  (seattlepi.com) (346)
(Reuters) Asinine Headline: DEADLY FUNGUS SPREADING. Buried in paragraphs six and seven: It's been around for a decade and has killed five people  (reuters.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Man beats up girlfriend over soda. Hopefully you other pop drinkers will get the message  (krqe.com) (127)
(ABC News) Obvious Stoner lawyers want Uncle Sam to be cool  (abcnews.go.com) (79)
(AP) Obvious Kids slow to read? New study says blame the teacher  (hosted.ap.org) (185)
(Kansas City) Unlikely The man who killed abortion doctor George Tiller has decided he doesn't like jail and wants the Supreme Court to free him  (kansascity.com) (265)
(UPI) Obvious Woman cleared of airport battery - both terminals  T-Shirt  (upi.com) (63)
(The Scotsman) Amusing Scottish man cleared of weighing his penis on grocery store scales. Not enough visual evidence according to store cameras, ex-girlfriends   (edinburghnews.scotsman.com) (63)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this wax off  (rd.com) (48)
(1010WINS) Fail "Officer, I'm sorry I ran the lady over, but she was old. So, we're cool right?"  (1010wins.com) (263)
(Some Guy) Interesting Methane-making microbes thrive under ice, sheets  (sciencenews.org) (56)
(Telegraph) Obvious Islamic fundamentalism? All Hitler's fault  (telegraph.co.uk) (205)
(Hardtolive.com) Amusing CNN Headline news accidentally airs "McRib" parody version of censored Lane Bryant ad  (hardtolive.com) (204)
(Wall Street Journal) Strange The newest thing in fashion is leather shorts, as designers seek to make women look like Bavarian transvestites (pic)  (online.wsj.com) (134)
(Salon) Interesting The New Orleans po' boy is a socialist sandwich  (salon.com) (190)
(Some Guy) Obvious Gun, whiskey, banjo clock taken in burglary. Suspect has at least two first names  (lehighvalleylive.com) (55)
(Yahoo) Silly Are you online reading this submission? Do you have a dog? Do you use public parks? Congratulations, you're killing the planet  (news.yahoo.com) (98)
(KENS5) Amusing Apparently, there is now a Zombie Chupacabra roaming around San Antonio Fiesta  (kens5.com) (57)
(My Fox DC) Weird Happy Earth Day. Now please...put the opossum down  (myfoxdc.com) (42)
(ABC News) Obvious In a blow to omnibenevolent free market health insurer that are only looking out for customers' best interests, WellPoint found targetting breast cancer patients for cancellation  (abcnews.go.com) (346)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Sappy Ugly-ass baby ring-tailed lemur born in southern Nevada. With upside-down-d'aww-inducing pic  (rgj.com) (28)
(Hartford Courant) Spiffy Wildlife managers have unleashed the BADGERS on the dreaded pelican population at an Idaho reservoir in a bid to save the cutthroat trout  (courant.com) (73)
(Cracked) Amusing 15 unintentionally perverted toys for children. Subby had 8 of these  (cracked.com) (264)
(Yahoo) Amusing SEC shuts down a brokerage firm accused of selling investors unregistered debt and the re-investing the money in highly complex "collateralized Stripper obligations" and g-string futures  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(Yahoo) Cool Why East Timor is way Cooler than the US: "Ninjas" are officially classified as a national security threat  (news.yahoo.com) (50)
(ABC News) Sad I know REM has gone downhill since Monster, but making a guy beat up his wife while sleepwalking is a new low  (abcnews.go.com) (143)
(AOL News) Scary Arkansas family learns the hard way that there is a good reason there is no such thing as garfish caviar  (aolnews.com) (192)
(NJ.com) Strange *Ring* "Hello?" "This is the Zambian Ambassador and I need to..." "Dude, shut up, I'm in class." "Sir, I really am the Zambian Ambassador." "Dude, cut it out. I'm turning off the phone."  (nj.com) (119)
(Yahoo) Asinine Utah court sends a stern message on domestic violence: If you tie your husband up and beat him with a hammer, you could be facing 30 days home detention and maybe even community service  (news.yahoo.com) (176)
(ABC News) Cool The original transcript for the coroner's inquest into the famous shootout at the OK Corral has surfaced. According to the records, Han shot first  (abcnews.go.com) (126)
(ABC News) Obvious Fayetteville, NC, home of Fort Bragg, wants "sister city" in Vietnam, but many older residents think idea is sucky-sucky  (abcnews.go.com) (110)
(___/\_____) Scary You're out surfing and suddenly a shark bites into your board. What to do? If you're this guy you'll continue riding the wave on the back of the 14' shark  (portfolioweekly.com) (106)
(Daily Mail) Sappy The cutest fox cub caught in a cricket net you'll see all week  (dailymail.co.uk) (75)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: If Muppets ruled the world  (google.com) (67)
(AFP) Obvious Airlines are demanding European governments pay for their losses caused by the Icelandic volcano eruption, because..because..Look, just write the damned check will you?  (news.yahoo.com) (168)
(Abc.net.au) Scary Man throws cheeseballs at woman and discovers a whole new meaning of lactose intolerant  (abc.net.au) (83)
(The Sun) Cool Water ski record smashed by 114 skiers behind a single boat. Arthur Fonzarelli, shark downhearted over not getting involved  (thesun.co.uk) (25)
(Telegraph) Interesting Happy Earth Day, hippies. Now, would you please have a shower?  (telegraph.co.uk) (177)
(Jack D) Interesting Ben & Jerrys blends whiskey into ice cream. Drew last seen recovering from brain freeze  (wrcbtv.com) (67)
(Abc.net.au) Unlikely Bolivian president Evo Morales under fire for saying chicken producers inject birds with female hormones and "when men eat those chickens, they experience deviances in being men"  (abc.net.au) (68)
(BBC) Scary US General: The only way to keep Iran from getting the bomb is to invade and occupy the country  (news.bbc.co.uk) (463)
(CNN) Obvious In a move that can only be met with calm and rational debate, Belgium lawmakers consider public ban on face covering burqas  (cnn.com) (185)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: If puppets ruled the world  (google.com) (20)
(BBC) Stupid India guru arrested after video surfaces of him having sex with two women. "Thank you, come again"  (news.bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Some Guy) Fail Posting about your wife on a forum and not logging out is a bad idea (Read post 1, then post 44)  (acurazine.com) (877)
(Daily Mail) Sad You may now blame your poor bedroom performance on your dad  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(CNN) Interesting Women think men should get back into the kitchen, make them a sammich  (cnn.com) (188)
(News.com.au) Hero Woman launches 'Boobquake' to prove breasts don't cause earthquakes, encourages all women to show as much cleavage as possible April 26  (news.com.au) (3741)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 259: "Potent Potables." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (123)

Wed April 21, 2010
(MSNBC) Strange Not news: Father won't allow ex-wife visitation rights with her three children. News: she's paralyzed with severe brain damage that occured during their birth. Fark: he also wants her to pay child support  (msnbc.msn.com) (179)
(ABC News) Interesting 1960s: Birth control pills let women have sex without consequences. 2010s: Birth control pills lowering women's sexual desires  (abcnews.go.com) (115)
(SFGate) Scary "Knock knock." "Who's there?" "Altercation leading to shooting." "Altercation leading to--" BLAM  (sfgate.com) (44)
(Life.com) Weird This is the closest thing to being inside Ed Gein's house you can get without being made into a lamp  (life.com) (112)
(AOL News) Hero Iraqi boy runs up to National Guardsman in Iraq and asks the soldier to save him. Surprisingly, that worked  (aolnews.com) (103)
(Some Dog) Stupid Food and Drug Administration says you shouldn't let pets chew on bones from your meals. Your dog wants less government intrusion  (kcci.com) (120)
(ABC News) Misc Missing boy dropped off at Catholic cathedral unharmed...for now  T-Shirt  (abcnews.go.com) (44)
(NPR) Obvious Albuquerque residents are sick of trees having sex in their noses  (npr.org) (78)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this porcelain doll somewhere more interesting  (ixo4y.ru) (49)
(CityRag) Followup KFC's Double Down comes with a side of lies - it's really 1190 calories and 86 grams of fat  (cityrag.com) (384)
(Washington Times) Interesting Iran is increasing the number of paramilitary troops it sends to Venezuela in order to help that country defend itself from America or to put down beauty queen riots  (washingtontimes.com) (81)
(Some Guy) Fail It took 9 agencies to catch 8 people smoking dope at a 420 festival  (sanluisobispo.com) (219)
(Jezebel) Spiffy TV networks reject Lane Bryant lingerie ad. If this screencap is any indication, it's not suprising why. Great googly moogly (SFW-ish)  (jezebel.com) (778)
(Washington Post) Strange You're a high school student helping your uncle carjack an SUV, when you realize the driver is your teacher. Awkward  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(Some Hobbit Hole) Cool Geek spends hundreds of hours hand-crafteding a model of Bilbo's Hobbit Hole. If that's not cool enough, aforementioned geek is female. Now she's going to be stalked by things creepier than Nazgul  (madshobbithole.wordpress.com) (181)
(ABC News) Obvious Ladies and gentlemen, do not panic: in the time-honored tradition, Goldman Sachs has found a suitable scapegoat for their financial debacle  (abcnews.go.com) (65)
(AFP) Sick If you are missing a shipment of 296 elephant tusks, please see the Thai Customs Office to claim YOUR FREE BOAT  (news.yahoo.com) (39)
(Wall Street Journal) Spiffy Treasury unveils new $100 bill. Features include a 3-D security ribbon, color changing ink, and a face value of $97  (online.wsj.com) (156)
(Reason Magazine) Interesting Ancient humans saw volcanic eruptions as a sign they offended the gods. Modern tree huggers see it as a sign we offended Mother Gaia and are getting what we so richly deserve  (reason.com) (120)
(Ars Technica) Fail Anti-Counterfeiting Trade Agreement allows for pre-crime injunctions. Meaning the RIAA wants the ability to turn off your internet because they suspect you might be thinking of downloading music  (arstechnica.com) (218)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Nepal is the land of Mount Everest, the birth place of Lord Buddha, and soon-to-be top destination for gay honeymoon elephant safaris  (myfoxdc.com) (34)
(ABC News) Scary A second, larger volcano seems ready to erupt in Iceland. At least this one has a name that's easier to pronounce  (abcnews.go.com) (169)
(Some Guy) Misc Car fleeing police hits deaf school students' van. Bet they didn't see that coming  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (67)
(AFP) Dumbass On the list of "stupidest people in the world " you can add "Rwandan Genocide deniers" right below "Holocaust deniers" and right above "9/11 truthers"  (news.yahoo.com) (246)
(CNN) Scary Ever want to see an American State collapse into absolute chaos overnight? Unless the Governor of Arizona vetoes the Immigration Bill, we'll have ringside seat  (cnn.com) (1107)
(AP) Interesting As many as 20 Somali pirates may come to the US for prosecution, since modern warships no longer have yardarms  (fox11online.com) (84)
(The Newspaper) Interesting We have red light cameras, speed cameras, and stop sign cameras, so why not green light cameras?  (thenewspaper.com) (334)
(slyoyster.com) Amusing It's not as tasty as a cow with lobster claws, but sheep-pig gets us one step closer to that elusive bacon sweater  (slyoyster.com) (57)
(AOL News) Unlikely Lawyer for David Kernell, who broke into Sarah Palin's Yahoo email, tells jury his client is allowed to commit felonies as long as he calls them pranks  (dailyfinance.com) (241)
(Some Guy) Florida When going to drug court, there is ONE thing you should leave at home. Yes, that  (970wfla.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Fail Don't bring a gun to a steam iron fight  (failuremag.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these two men and their log  (hotimg23.fotki.com) (34)
(Heavenly Golden Palace.com) Sad Dying man sells advertising space on his urn  (kval.com) (55)
(KHOU Houston) Amusing 4/20, PCP edition: Man dons bad idea jeans, crashes stolen car into multiple vehicles, tries to hijack city bus, gets shot by citizen and waits for paramedics in burning car. TaaDaa  (khou.com) (95)
(CNN) News Explosion on oil rig in Gulf of Mexico, 11 missing, 7 injured  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (214)
(Politico) Caption Caption Vice President Biden at George Washington University  (images.politico.com) (149)
(Daily Mail) Silly Firefighters take 2 1/2 hours to free woman's thumb stuck in bowling ball  (dailymail.co.uk) (74)
(Philly) Scary 'Thing' they're calling a 'woman' has been charged with having sex with a 14-year-old blind boy (the article doesn't say blind, but c'mon...I mean he'd have to be? right?) Warning: YOU CAN'T UN-CLICK  (philly.com) (443)
(Cleveland Leader) Strange Ohio billboard promoting breastfeeding gets Cleveland steaming  (clevelandleader.com) (115)
(Some Guy) Scary In the largest "To Catch A Predator" ever announced, Pope Benedict XVI invites 400,000+ Catholic priests to The Vatican to "rally"  (catholicculture.org) (122)
(The Money Times) Florida If you're drunk and stealing sand from the beach, make sure that you can actually drive it away. In related news: Stealing sand is considered grand theft  (themoneytimes.com) (47)
(Daily Mail) Silly Mother and daughter who dressed up like princesses for a trip to Disneyland get turned away at the gate because they looked too much like princesses  (dailymail.co.uk) (146)
(Seattle Times) Interesting Bisexual men sue Gay Softball World Series, because they were "not gay enough" to participate. Must not have played pitcher or catcher  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (115)
(Toronto Star) Dumbass Worst. Parking. Job. Ever. And even the media agrees. (with video)  (thestar.com) (131)
(Independent) Obvious "In reality, the heaven you think you're headed to - a reunion with your relatives in the light - is a very recent invention, only a little older than Goldman Sachs."  (independent.co.uk) (307)
(National Post) Fail President of youth baseball league brings his kiddie porn loaded computer in for repairs, what could possibly go wrong? w/ What the hell is that on his face mugshot  (network.nationalpost.com) (78)
(CNN) Interesting Top ten paying jobs for women. Stripper surprisingly absent from the list  (money.cnn.com) (219)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these glorious patriotic posters, comrade  (i6.fastpic.ru) (57)

Tue April 20, 2010
(Quad City Times) PSA If you are going to ground your sixteen year-old daughter and revoke her cell phone priviliges, make sure you take away her lighter so she doesn't burn your house to the ground  (qctimes.com) (86)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Amusing Woman gets shorted on a drug deal and gets all stabby. With a ball point pen. "They suffered multiple red, superficial scratches and abrasions on their necks and chests"  (press-citizen.com) (39)
(Examiner) Amusing "Every time I read 'Pride and Prejudice,' I want to dig her up and hit her over the skull with her own shin-bone." 50 author vs. author putdowns  (examiner.com) (226)
(Wall Street Journal) Scary "The first sign of trouble came was about midway through the argument, when Chief Justice John Roberts asked what the difference was 'between email and a pager?'" Scary tag files suit against Amusing tag, wins by 5-2 vote  (blogs.wsj.com) (197)
(News.com.au) Amusing Queen urged to remove demented swan  (news.com.au) (103)
(Some Guy) Interesting Glendale, CA residents have been unknowningly getting a tiny amount of free electricity. Luckily, smart grid technology will put an end to that  (govtech.com) (98)
(The Consumerist) PSA Ten fast food items worse for you than KFC's Double Down. And yes, one of the worst is a salad. From Wendy's  (consumerist.com) (407)
(Times Argus) Amusing Bear with head stuck in milk can rescued. Oh bother  T-Shirt  (timesargus.com) (33)
(About.com) Photoshop Photoshop this trio of terns  (z.about.com) (48)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Despite the availability of contraceptives like the Pill, IUDs, condoms, sponges, Total.Fark, the morning-after pill, implants, and diaphragms, half of all US pregnancies are unintended  (online.wsj.com) (276)
(BBC) Fail It's one thing to sweep your roommate's death under the sofa to keep from getting evicted. It's something else altogether to sweep your dead roommate under the sofa  (news.bbc.co.uk) (49)
(Some Hamster) Strange FYI, PetSmart does not have a "Take-a-Hamster, Leave-a-Hamster" tray  (thedailyjournal.com) (94)
(Talking Points Memo) Weird Woman testifies to Georgia legislature that the US military microchipped her taint   (tpmlivewire.talkingpointsmemo.com) (210)
(Cracked) Amusing "If two pre-pubescent kids walked into your office right now chain smoking Marlboro Reds, tossed you an AK and told you it was time to take down the man, you'd have to think long and hard about declining the offer"  (cracked.com) (72)
(Capital Times) Amusing When reporting on a story about a city deciding to kill 100 geese due to health and safety issues, try to pick an appropriate and sensitive headline  (host.madison.com) (127)
(Globe and Mail) Fail Angry because the woman on Craigslist who wanted to have videotaped sex in a bear suit backed out and stopped responding to your emails? That was a guy.... and he is now making fun of you in a new book  (theglobeandmail.com) (185)
(KENS5) Scary That airplane you're getting ready to board? There's a good chance it's being held together somewhere with some "duct tape". Have a nice flight  (kens5.com) (123)
(Dayton Daily News) Strange You have to ask yourself where it all went wrong if cops show up at your home because you throw an inhaler at your husband and they find you surrounded by seven Chihuahaus and a parrot standing on your forehead biting your face  (daytondailynews.com) (44)
(1000 Awesome Things) Survey What's an example of a word you learned and then suddenly started seeing it everywhere?  (1000awesomethings.com) (573)
(Some Tissue Guy) Sick Which is worse, a teacher masturbating alone in his office, or the janitor who sniffed the used tissues and turned him in?  (hollandsentinel.com) (268)
(Some Polished Tooth Guy) Strange It's one thing when your dentist's office is between an auto body shop and a scrap yard; it's another matter when they share tools  (chicagotribune.com) (22)
(C|Net) Hero Desperate for lost sales tax revenue, North Carolina demands Amazon.com turn over all consumer records. Amazon.com demands North Carolina STFU and GTBW  (news.cnet.com) (260)
(Atlanta Humane Society) Cool Vulcan cat named Spock discovered at animal shelter. Seeking caring home. NO ROMULANS   (atlantahumanesociety.wordpress.com) (59)
(Some Guy) PSA April is STD Awareness Month. Pass it on  T-Shirt  (cdc.gov) (65)
(Seattle Times) Followup Back in 2005, cops noticed Washington bestiality suspect was "strangely protective" of his female German shepherd, but they were too busy with the 372 lbs of coke in his SUV to follow up  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (109)
(Some Guy) Strange Scientists find a pair of sweat pants, a golf ball, more than 20 plastic bags, small towels, duct tape and surgical gloves inside the body of a whale that washed up on the beach. With an unhealthy diet like that, no wonder it died  (mnn.com) (65)
(My Fox DC) PSA At least when Laura Bush paid $550,000 for White House China she got to eat off of the dishes once in a while  (myfoxdc.com) (124)
(AOL News) Sick Lawyer for PA school district that used webcams on school-issued laptops to spy on their students, now admits that by saying the school "almost never" used this function he meant "more than 56,000 times  (dailyfinance.com) (204)
(OC Register) Silly Today's "Geocache causes mass evacuation and bomb squad called in" story brought to you by Anaheim, California  (ocregister.com) (61)
(Boston Herald) Strange Security guard wears his sunglasses at night, so he can, so he can, chug a bottle of cognac and crash the company car  (bostonherald.com) (42)
(Dallas News) Weird 67-year-old on her arrest for felony unsanctioned pruning: "I met some neat people. I'd never been in a perp walk before. It was cool."  (dallasnews.com) (181)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this motorcyclist on a dusty road  (pinebarrens500.org) (42)
(ABC News) Strange Group of retired military officers says the greatest threat to our national security isn't a terrorist organization, but the school lunch lady; call for immediate intervention to take away her meatloafs of mass destruction  (abcnews.go.com) (223)
(The Newspaper) Obvious Queensland police are not amused by Facebook page showing all their unmarked cars  (thenewspaper.com) (154)
(London Times) Sick Teenage girl appears in court accused of kicking a man to death, provides another data point to support the "hot=crazy" hypothesis  (timesonline.co.uk) (585)
(Boston Globe) Sad The Revolutionary War claims yet another victim  (boston.com) (122)
(Tulsa World) Amusing Man arrested after following woman around a Target store, exposing his buttocks and 'shaking it'. In other news, Wal-Mart starts new ad campaign  (tulsaworld.com) (69)
(Some Guy) Sick Bad: Having your arm severed in a car crash. Worse: Someone steals your wedding and engagement rings from severed arm  (thisisbristol.co.uk) (79)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida PETA unhappy about dog-riding capuchin monkeys. "I don't want to make fun of the guy, but obviously he's an idiot. Because everywhere I go, 99 out of 100 people smile and laugh and share the experience with their children"  (nwfdailynews.com) (109)
(Telegraph) Unlikely One in ten British drinkers claim to get through 20 pints a night. In other news, academics refuse to believe drunk people may exaggerate or lose the ability to keep count  (telegraph.co.uk) (102)
(CBS 4 Denver) Weird Thieves rip off part of a man's finger over "a simple piece of apparatus that'll be junk in a couple of years"  (cbs4denver.com) (104)
(CBS News) Interesting Your office's digital copy machine remembers everything you do by storing images of everything it scans, including your butt during that day you got drunk at the office holiday party  (cbsnews.com) (79)
(MSNBC) Cool PotCon 2010, man. I'll see you at the hotbox  (msnbc.msn.com) (91)
(The New York Times) Followup New ash cloud appears headed toward Britain, threatens to improve weather  (nytimes.com) (52)
(Guardian.com) Strange Wife like typing detected  (guardian.co.uk) (104)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this aluminum area  (s.wsj.net) (30)
(Reuters) Interesting "Iranian missile may be able to hit U.S. by 2015." That's one slow missile  T-Shirt  (reuters.com) (218)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Nothing beats a cigarette after a gasoline fight  (news.com.au) (46)
(KYW 1060) Ironic Head of police sex crimes unit is also a hands on kind of guy. "Hands on kind of guy" trifecta now in play  (kyw1060.com) (24)
(CNN) Obvious News flash: College kids who tan are more likely to drink alcohol, smoke marijuana, listen to Dave Matthews   (pagingdrgupta.blogs.cnn.com) (87)
(Yahoo) Interesting Unforseen consequence of global warming number 3241: all the corpses and garbage can finally be dragged off Mt. Everest  (news.yahoo.com) (89)
(CBC) Followup That Winnipeg high school teacher who simulated oral sex on a fellow teacher during a school dance competition might want to pursue that skill professionally now that they're both officially out of jobs  (cbc.ca) (67)

Mon April 19, 2010
(Telegraph) Strange Migraine leaves woman with Chinese accent  (telegraph.co.uk) (120)
(The Smoking Gun) Silly Is that a vibrator in your pocket, or are you carrying a concealed explosive device?  (thesmokinggun.com) (53)
(PhysOrg.com) Strange Today's reason you're getting cancer is *rolls dice* your grandmother ate too much during pregnancy  (physorg.com) (47)
(On Point News) Amusing Seagal can avoid any testimony about his allegedly "unique physiological reaction to sexual arousal" by settling the case filed by his former assistant  (onpointnews.com) (216)
(UPI) Spiffy A 1992 survey of 5,000 U.S. librarians, long withheld by a professional journal, found that all your sexual fantasies about them were true  (upi.com) (219)
(Some Guy) Interesting If you like reading poorly argued essays about the evils of eating farm meat written by psuedo-celebrities, then has Moby got a book for you  (mnn.com) (188)
(AP) News New Hampshire's liquor commissioner is a hands on sort of guy  (baynews9.com) (56)
(ksdk.com) Weird Helvetia man dies in brush clearing incident. Town issues a statement sans sheriff  T-Shirt  (ksdk.com) (141)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Iran strives for a nuclear-free world, probably by nuking every other country first  (presstv.ir) (79)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this sunset scene  (fc01.deviantart.com) (51)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary "Pay your vet bill or we'll put your dog down." UK applies socialized medicine to veterinarian clinics  (mirror.co.uk) (189)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Help a TFer take on multiple sclerosis. LGT who, when and how; DIT. Booyah  (main.nationalmssociety.org) (101)
(BBC) Spiffy Two women climbers "neck and neck" in race to climb world's 14 tallest mountains. Though if it's a race, shouldn't they be doing that afterwards?  (news.bbc.co.uk) (67)
(Drew) FarkBlog Discussion of a change to non-logged in users, and Fark's favorite headlines of the week for 4/11 - 4/17  (fark.com) (169)
(Dallas Observer) Stupid Just in time for Earth Day: chopping down trees in downtown Dallas because they block the view of the Nike Air Jordan billboard  (blogs.dallasobserver.com) (78)
(USA Today) Sad Welcome to "green America," where Americans are no more earth-friendly than they were a decade ago  (content.usatoday.com) (197)
(BBC) Scary Man getting testicular cyst removed accidentally gets the volume discount  (news.bbc.co.uk) (117)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Police say it will cost $50,000 to clean up a suspected illegal mushroom lab, not realizing just about any frat in the country would be happy to do it for $25 and a case of Bud Light  (tampabay.com) (124)
(Cracked) Scary Six terrifying diseases that science can't explain  (cracked.com) (203)
(ABC News) Stupid Extreme homeschooling now means no curriculum, no books, and no tests, which is worse than that one time Chancellor Washington was assassinated by Haitian spies while being chased by Jesus riding a dinosaur  (abcnews.go.com) (281)
(Popular Science) Cool Ten legendary concept car successes and failures. A nuclear powered Ford? What could go wrong?  (popsci.com) (138)
(Federal Times) Scary TSA may federalize 15,000 private contractors who guard federal buildings, which would mean same bodies, different uniforms, with TSA's unique brand of customer service  (federaltimes.com) (74)
(Seattle Times) Interesting WA State town sells for $360k; about half the price of a house in Seattle  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (76)
(Huffington Post) Obvious 100-year-old sex offender fails on parole, receives new sentence of life in prison  (huffingtonpost.com) (86)
(ABC News) Obvious Census forms cause rift among citizens forced to choose between "Attractive" and "Successful"  (abcnews.go.com) (373)
(Some Hungry Shark) Interesting New shark-repelling anklet ensures that sharks will eat everything but your ankle  (clickorlando.com) (31)
(The Frisky) Interesting I think we found the guy who's responsible for Uggs  (thefrisky.com) (37)
(My Fox DC) Strange Some things you should never ask your parents to do for you. 1) Ask mom to call your work and tell them you're sick. 2) Have dad speak to the media about your plump lips and big boobs  (myfoxdc.com) (40)
(My Fox DC) Amusing Those half naked pictures of you down the beach your friend posted on facebook may have healing powers. Oh, maybe not for you but they made me feel pretty good  (myfoxdc.com) (211)
(My Fox DC) Scary This kind of stuff is going to ruin naked vermilion smearing for the rest of us  (myfoxdc.com) (43)
(BAAAAAA) Interesting Move over self-cleaning ovens. We are proud to introduce the self-shearing sheep  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (46)
(MDN) Unlikely Japan's herbivorous-male phenomenon credited to 65-year national peace, which has "liberated men from the need to be manly"  (mdn.mainichi.jp) (139)
(Some Guy) Obvious "Whether we like it or not, seventy-three million people are playing Farmville: a boring, repetitive, and potentially repetitive, and potentially dangerous activity that barely qualifies as a game."   (mediacommons.futureofthebook.org) (268)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this rear gunner  (imghost.1x.com) (45)
(Some Victim) Asinine How my mom became a terrorist  (perthnow.com.au) (153)
(The New York Times) Interesting Staten Island residents will soon be witness to an event unheard of in human history, a toll booth being torn down  (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com) (77)
(CNN) Obvious How much does a passenger-laden 767 with seized engines at 35,000 feet cost? Apparently not as much as the European economy is losing every hour  (cnn.com) (312)
(Telegraph) Asinine Not news: Man arrested for drunk driving. News: the car was pink and had Barbies on it. Fark: It was an electric toy car designed for five-year olds  (telegraph.co.uk) (113)
(Metro) Amusing "There are also viewing portals along the side of the colon so that other less adventurous visitors can watch as people crawl through the colon"  (metro.co.uk) (46)
(News.com.au) Scary I'm stuck to my flying fox. I'm so very scared. Help  (heraldsun.com.au) (74)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Two lesbian mothers have become the first same-sex parents to jointly sign a birth certificate. No doubt that God's wrathful volcanic ash cloud over Europe will be blamed on them  (dailymail.co.uk) (109)
(Telegraph) Stupid UN reports India has more cellular phones than toilets. Somehow priorities really went to pot there  (telegraph.co.uk) (92)
(Gawker) Scary Look at those aerial shots... is that Sarajevo? Hiroshima? Chernobyl? Nope, just Detroit  (tv.gawker.com) (412)
(Some Guy) Strange Authorities fighting spread of new drug "Sparkle" hampered by fact that they don't know what it is  (belfasttelegraph.co.uk) (149)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this street chess  (imgboot.com) (23)
(SLTrib) Spiffy The Book of Mormon is about to be made into a Broadway play  (sltrib.com) (118)
(STLToday) Stupid Hannibal, MO government upset that a Mark Twain impersonator isn't factual: "The boombox, for example, is outlandish. There's no basis for that in Mark Twain."  (stltoday.com) (48)
(News.com.au) Sick Like my grandfather always told me, when life gives you locust plagues, turn them into locust pizzas  (news.com.au) (41)
(Michigan Messenger) Fail Despite a $900,000 federal grant, state fails to capture its most wanted sex offender. Online journalist, using Google and Facebook, finds offender working at a daycare center  (michiganmessenger.com) (109)
(Some Guy) Strange Man hit by spear while riding his scooter home  (cairns.com.au) (76)

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