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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun August 15, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this contemplating man  (lowellsphotos.com) (40)
(FOX40 News)   Escaped pet zebras earn their stripes by outrunning Sacramento cops  (fox40.com) (40)
(Daily Mail)   There was huge buzz for it, the competition was stinging but spectators were left beedazzled at the bee beard competition (w/ cool pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (37)
(BBC)   Relatives of Titanic passengers to commemorate centenary of sinking... by taking a cruise  (bbc.co.uk) (79)
(Some Guy)   300-pound 18-year old stabs mother for not bringing him cheeseburger  (hiphopwired.com) (217)
(AJC)   Crash victim identified as Cumming man. Well that explains the loss of control  (ajc.com) (47)
(Psychology Today)   Men are more likely to pick up a female hitchhiker if she has large breasts, study confirms. Complete with photo of what a female hitchhiker with large breasts may look like  (psychologytoday.com) (457)
(Telegraph)   Researcher uncovers real-life Quasimodo in historical memoirs, reveals that archival references rang a bell  (telegraph.co.uk) (17)
(WHDH-TV)   Not big news: Big man attacks little woman in her home. Big News: Woman fights off the attacker. FARK: The woman kicked his butt  (www1.whdh.com) (90)
(Yahoo)   Electric bill mix up causes woman to go bald  (news.yahoo.com) (46)
(KTLA)   Study concludes teen sex is not always bad for a kid's school performance - especially if the teacher is involved  (ktla.com) (48)
(CBC)   Parents kids are coming home from school with a raft of symptoms, so they naturally suspect a) tainted water, b) mould, c) wi-fi  (cbc.ca) (177)
(NYPost)   The only thing New Yorkers hate more than slow-footed, gawking tourists are subway door hogs. "They should have a designated time for tourists, from 3 p.m. to 10 p.m"  (nypost.com) (127)
(AJC)   UN secretary general says he has never seen a disaster as bad as the flooding in Pakistan. But it doesn't involve Americans, so is it really news?  (ajc.com) (97)
(Medical News Today)   The most common sources of food poisoning in America? Poultry, beef... and leafy vegetables. Your dog wants seafood (or is the proper Fark meme EVERYBODY PANIC for this type of headline?)  (medicalnewstoday.com) (60)
(Ars Technica)   Net neutrality protestors lay siege to Google. For an entire hour. Yeah, that'll show 'em  (arstechnica.com) (31)
(Fox News)   "Craigslist killer" kills again  (foxnews.com) (149)
(Some Comparison)   Photoshop this corner of contrasts  (bigpicture.ru) (22)
(BBC)   That whole "we're pulling our troops out in 2011, no later, and that's final" promise to Afghanistan? No so much  (bbc.co.uk) (113)
(NYPost)   You've done a horrible job raising your child if your teen daughter spends her vacation trying to get engaged to a member of 'The Jersey Shore.' "He's a true Guido. He's not just faking it; it's from the heart"  (nypost.com) (123)
(Des Moines Register)   Pork belly shortage adds $1 to price of bacon. ZOMG, everyone panic (with picture goodness of what pork bellies might look like)  (desmoinesregister.com) (63)
(NYPost)   The Miss Universe beauty contest will now feature topless photos of the contestants as part of the show. "Many of their cultures embrace nudity"  (nypost.com) (142)
(TC Palm)   Here's a photo of the 28 pot plants Florida police say are worth $34,000  (tcpalm.com) (230)
(Guardian.com)   The outcome of the gender-nature/nurture debate, which was once claimed by nature, then by nurture, then by nature, is now claimed by nurture again  (guardian.co.uk) (209)
(Boston Globe)   Book tells history of how Italian food was ruined by foul red plant droppings  (boston.com) (142)
(WGRZ)   Do they make a "sorry we called you a murderer and sent the SWAT team after you when photographic evidence proves you innocent" card?  (wgrz.com) (77)
(Jacksonville.com)   Men's Health: Jacksonville is the most dangerous city for children in the US; Jax Council Prez: Nuh uh, we're lower than average in re-abuse of children. Plus, none of my kids have been murdered. Today  (jacksonville.com) (46)
(CNN)   Even the bears in Florida are stupid  (cnn.com) (46)
(Springfield Republican)   Artist says spray painting over his pole dancer painting is like censorship in communist China. In other news, you can read about this incident on the internet  (masslive.com) (27)
(WTOP)   Tamils seeking asylum in Canada may be traumatized. Presumably by poutine, bags of milk, and Rod Brind'Amour's face  (wtopnews.com) (66)
(Cracked)   How to survive situations that will never really happen  (cracked.com) (77)
(Yahoo)   South Carolina to begin covering obesity surgeries for state residents next year in a pilot program designed to help the state get healthier. Nothing screams "health and vitality" like being full from a single, solitary saltine cracker  (news.yahoo.com) (163)
(WISN)   Infant reported to be packing more than just diaper, police find sawed-off shotgun hidden in stroller  (wisn.com) (23)
(Boston Herald)   In 60 years organ transplants have moved from science fiction to a perfectly reliable technique which can only fail due to malpractice  (bostonherald.com) (63)
(LA Times)   Doctors say that this may not be a cure for homosexuality, but it will decrease the size of womens' softball leagues, slash Subaru sales numbers  (latimes.com) (255)
(Denver Post)   Not News: Police beat teenager. News: For pushing an officer "moments earlier", before the video begins. Fark: Teenager's father is a cop, and that cell phone in the teen's hand? Yup, that's his dad he's talking to  (denverpost.com) (215)
(Some Girl)   Photoshop this girl holding her snorkel  (ljplus.ru) (49)
(Some Old Guy)   75 year-old-man with a walker robs a bank. Police found the man after an exhaustive search of standing up to look around  (ottawacitizen.com) (18)
(Telegraph)   City councils paying for prostitutes, exotic vacations and lapdances for disabled. That sure has a leg up on ramps and parking spaces  (telegraph.co.uk) (44)
(News.com.au)   Banker hires two escorts to mock execute him but it turns out to be part of his successful plan to commit suicide by hooker (photo of escort website may be Not safe for work)  (news.com.au) (84)
(Fox News)   8 dead, 12 filing lawsuits in California off-road racing accident  (foxnews.com) (171)
(AZCentral)   School forced to pay a sixth-grader $50,000 because they wouldn't let her wear a graphic, pro-life t-shirt. What an abortion of justice  (azcentral.com) (562)
(WLSAM)   Apparently, in Illinois, if you are a sleepwalker, you can have all the sex you want  (wlsam.com) (29)
(Houston Chronicle)   Teen 'sexting' is leading to online 'sextortation.' Sextastic  (chron.com) (93)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop this freestyle flight  (inapcache.boston.com) (34)
(Denver Post)   Classroom has this guest speaker going for them, which is nice: the young incarnation of a great Tibetan Buddhist spiritual teacher. "I can't really say I enjoy being a rinpoche"  (denverpost.com) (28)
(NASA)   Photoshop Robonaut, NASA's new humanoid astronaut helper (large size image available in link)  (mediaarchive.ksc.nasa.gov) (22)
(Shakopee News)   No, dear, we can't get married for a year until my aunt gets here on her horse  (shakopeenews.com) (34)
(AZCentral)   After more than two months on the lamb, a runaway cow is captured. Finally, our long national nightmoo is over  (azcentral.com) (50)

Sat August 14, 2010
(AP)   Don't you just love when "my dog ate my homework" really happens? Especially to a school board member  (hosted.ap.org) (26)
(Some Visitor)   Bakersfield couple visits friend in jail, takes off coat, stays a while  (katu.com) (74)
(Sun Sentinel)   Diver catches a six-pound lobster that took two men to bring to the surface (w/ picture of a creature that looks like it was ripped straight from the womb of the alien queen)  (sun-sentinel.com) (105)
(AJC)   Eight people shot, four get wings at Buffalo restaurant  T-Shirt  (ajc.com) (92)
(Huffington Post)   California court strikes down mall rule that banned, A. Pants on the ground, B. Upskirt cams or, C. Talking to people you don't know  (huffingtonpost.com) (137)
(CNN)   FINALLY What we all knew but everyone was afraid to admit...PORK FAT RULES  (eatocracy.cnn.com) (202)
(AOL News)   How well do you know your weird news?  (aolnews.com) (28)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this big piece of driftwood  (online.wsj.com) (36)
(National Geographic)   Coolest National Parks posters from the 1930's you'll see all decade   (travel.nationalgeographic.com) (78)
(NPR)   Do you use your work Blackberry even when you're away from the office? You may be due a hell of a lot of overtime pay. Bonus: Blackberry as Binkie  (npr.org) (131)
(The Sun)   Man plans 1200 mile walk across Britain via Google Street View: "I can't be bothered with all the training, planning and hardships of actually doing the walk"  (thesun.co.uk) (65)
(Slate)   Why are American workers so disgruntled? Nevermind that. Get back to work  (slate.com) (354)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   Iowa City police suggesting that students "register" any house parties they're planning to have so that they can simply call them to tell them to quiet down if they get too loud. Also, they have a bridge in Brooklyn for sale  (press-citizen.com) (42)
(Daily Mail)   Lightning strikes 13-year-old boy at 13:13 on Friday the 13th. This passes as a current event  (dailymail.co.uk) (66)
(Washington Post)   The reason the recovery is taking so long? The states are barely spending any of their stimulus money  (washingtonpost.com) (136)
(FARK)   Super Mega Joint Fark/Reddit Party at DragonCon, 1 PM on Saturday Sept 4th. Special Guest Marian Call will be playing a set just for us. Come dressed as a Klingon for a kiss from Drew  (fark.com) (101)
(Some Guy)   Guns on movie posters in San Francisco? Nope. Banned. Free speech? BAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAH   (blogs.sfweekly.com) (138)
(CNN)   Still single? What the hell's wrong with you?  (cnn.com) (641)
(Chicago Tribune)   This week's city freaked out due to 'pass-out game'? **rolls dice** Chicago  (chicagotribune.com) (77)
(FARK)   Headline of the Year 2010: call for your favorite Fark headline candidates Jan 1 - Jun 30 (bumped for the Saturday farkers)  (fark.com) (116)
(Toronto Sun)   Psychic leads cops to wrong body. Bet she didn't see that coming  (torontosun.com) (86)
(Boston Globe)   "Cows are really the easiest to paint, they don't require much detail" says painting prodigy, age eight  (boston.com) (53)
(Some Guy)   Headline: "Mixed results from Austin's red light traffic cameras." Article: "authorities have actually seen a significant increase in crashes." But the money is good  (news8austin.com) (97)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop these competitors sweating it out  (spiegel.de) (18)
(Seattle Times)   Not news: Using Calvin Klein cologne to attract cougars. Caturday: Using Calvin Klein cologne to attract snow leopards (repeat story but it's Caturday, dagnabbit)   (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (702)
(SeattlePI)   What do you do when you confront a shoplifter and he drops his pants, exposes his penis, and says he has a 'flesh eating bacteria' he's going to infect you with?  (blog.seattlepi.com) (83)
(The Age (Melbourne))   World's first interesting game of women's baseball takes place in Venezuela  (theage.com.au) (46)
(TwinCities.com)   One guy dies after donating part of his liver to his brother and ruins it for all the other liver-donors  (twincities.com) (75)
(Toronto Star)   "Simon, shake my hand. I've just punched a polar bear right in the nose"  (thestar.com) (46)
(MSNBC)   Three kids take taxi to Jacksonville Airport, buy tickets on Southwest, pass security without IDs, fly to Nashville unaccompanied. Let's see what happens when Mom & Dad find out  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (108)
(AFP)   South Asian soon-to-be overhyped by the media superbug claims first fatality. EVERYBODY PANIC  (news.yahoo.com) (39)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Couple sues real-estate agent for using their home for sexual escapades and staining sheets, a couch, carpet, towels, robes, and a negligee. "It feels like we have been violated in every sense of the word." That's what she said  (startribune.com) (67)
(Some Pagan)   Druid to be subject of reincarnation spell, hopes to not roll halfling  (neopagan.net) (104)
(Some Guy)   In attempt to one-up Steven Slater, passenger at airport: a) hijacks fire truck, b) strips naked and threatens to blow up airport, c) hell, this is Fark, so all of the above  (thekathrynreport.com) (36)
(New York Daily News)   Tea Party bigotry is just a few fringe nuts... such as the chairman of the Tea Party Express who says Muslims worship the "terrorist's monkey god"  (nydailynews.com) (291)
(Google)   Subby's cabin has mice. Photoshop her a better mousetrap  (google.com) (60)

Fri August 13, 2010
(azfamily.com)   Man fatally shoots his girlfriend while discussing gun safety with her  (azfamily.com) (98)
(10 news San Diego)   Karate teacher accused of having student snatch the pebbles from his pants  (10news.com) (31)
(Daily Mail)   25-year-old beauty therapist brags that she's had sex with 5,000 men. Even your mom and Wilt Chamberlain are impressed  (dailymail.co.uk) (208)
(Washington Post)   2,200 year-old coin found in Israel. Inscription of "200 BC" made dating it easier  (washingtonpost.com) (80)
(WRAL)   Not News: Man arrested for being drunk. News: In a house where he doesn't know anyone. Fark: Caught in their chimney  (wral.com) (28)
(Telegraph)   One in four women is size 18 or above, leaving quite an impression on researchers  (telegraph.co.uk) (366)
(Jalopnik)   Meet the genius who just drove his Evo right to the top of the Taser death pool  (jalopnik.com) (50)
(CSMonitor)   Spacewalking astronauts probably won't get perforated by Perseid meteors. Probably  (csmonitor.com) (25)
(Yahoo)   The author shows us the bright side of the current economy. Tomorrow, an article on how much fun a root canal can be  (finance.yahoo.com) (48)
(AJC)   An ordinary guy admits to burning down the house  (ajc.com) (63)
(Some Guy)   Doctors would like to remind mothers that the "eating for two" mentality during pregancy isn't necessary and your baby will know you sound fat from the womb  (abc15.com) (87)
(CSMonitor)   Sad Francisco attempts to ban Happy Meals  (csmonitor.com) (130)
(The Smoking Gun)   It's Attack of the Crotch Robots in this week's Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (191)
(Eating Our Words)   If you buy any of these five things from the grocery store, you are officially a lazy bastard  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (335)
(Mediaite)   Levi Johnston kinda, sorta suspects that maybe Palin family is most likely pretty much done with his sorry excuse for an ass now. Probably  (mediaite.com) (74)
(The Money Times)   Your bank deposit envelope should not contain A) foreign currency, B) unsigned checks or money orders, and C) cocaine  (themoneytimes.com) (25)
(Yahoo)   Hundreds of locals in Idaho turn out to protest and tell the EPA to take its "liberal prius-driving scientists" and go home and to stop trying to clean the toxic levels of lead and arsenic out of their drinking water  (news.yahoo.com) (408)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this car and cone  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (62)
(News 4 Jax)   OSHA investigates Acme in Coyote's death. Roadrunner wanted for questioning  (news4jax.com) (45)
(Washington Times)   British Cardiologist says McDonalds and other burgermeisters should hand out free Lipitor with every burger. Fat chance  (washingtontimes.com) (102)
(WIVB)   Ever had one of those days where you are swimming in your pool and a sink hole opens under you?  (wivb.com) (130)
(Some Guy)   **boing** **boing** **boing** THUD  (wiod.com) (132)
(Canada.com)   Nepal zoo creates 'honeymoon suite' for making ugly-ass baby rhinos  (canada.com) (23)
(Some Guy)   After a triple homicide, Regina police cut out the middleman and send residents blunt questionnaires asking "Were you involved?" and "If you were involved how would you have done it?"  (theprovince.com) (132)
(Yahoo)   Maple syrup factory ends century-old tradition of giving tours of the factory floor citing terrorism concerns. They hate us for our waffles?  (news.yahoo.com) (72)
(Yahoo)   Newly declassified diplomatic cables show that Nixon was hard-core, yo  (news.yahoo.com) (56)
(Boston Globe)   Headline:"Typhoid outbreak blamed on fruit" Come on, all the guy did was activate the emergency chute and steal a couple of beers  (boston.com) (62)
(Ars Technica)   Google: In the spirit of compromise and dumptrucks of money, a little evil is okay  (arstechnica.com) (192)
(AFP)   Noting they are called "Marines" and not "Terrans", Sec Def gates says the Corps has gotten too oriented towards fighting land battles and needs to refocus on their maritime role  (news.yahoo.com) (287)
(CNN)   The UN would like to remind all brutal third-world warlords that wartime rape is a no-no, and they've got plenty of sternly worded letters for anybody who thinks otherwise  (cnn.com) (82)
(Telegraph)   "I'm a whale I'm a whale..." The coolest pics of Pilot whales off Gibraltar you'll see this week  (telegraph.co.uk) (88)
(Washington Post)   Don't worry, smoking enablers, they changed their minds. You can start killing American troops through the mail again  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (90)
(Some Guy)   Woman collects 500 swimsuits over 40 years. Cue gratuitous posing  (swns.com) (65)
(Yahoo)   13 strange things that happened on Friday the 13th, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying About Total Coincidences That Could Happen Any Day  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Yahoo)   The National Wharrgarbl Service has issued a warnings of an upcoming Category 5 Derpstorm, noting that due to the lunar calendar, the celebrations marking the end of the holy month of Ramadan, will occur 28 days from now- on Sept 11  (news.yahoo.com) (196)
(Some Chick)   Lesson to teens: travelling to a driver's training class should not include mom and boyfriend getting in a physical fight in the car filled with drugs  (idahostatesman.com) (14)
(SMH)   Just because you're a cashed up douchebag doesn't mean you can ignore the speed limit. Not in Sweden at least  (smh.drive.com.au) (135)
(Washington Post)   That Israeli Christian nomad racist serial stabber who got arrested on Wednesday once worked in a mental health institution  (washingtonpost.com) (66)
(Live Science)   Teen girls don't fall for airbrushed models, having seen a few fashion magazines in their time, they can tell by the pixels  (livescience.com) (43)
(The Consumerist)   Cell phones loaded with porn rarely go to people who appreciate them  (consumerist.com) (33)
(The Consumerist)   News: PETA pissed at Dodge for using a monkey in one of their commercials. Fark: a DYNAMITE MONKEY Total Fark: Dodge tries to appease PETA by turning it into an INVISIBLE DYNAMITE MONKEY  (consumerist.com) (155)
(Telegraph)   British man builds barbecue capable of dealing with 1,000 sausages at once. Your mom sues for trademark infringement  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (32)
(AOL News)   Economy's getting better now. No? Riiiiight now No? Here it is, here it is...nnnnooow Still no? A timeline of Obamanomic cheerleading  (aolnews.com) (281)
(The Local (Germany))   How to use your huskies helping you catching crabs  (thelocal.de) (35)
(TC Palm)   Woman upset after finding sleeping pills in her Walmart meat, wanted her usual cocktail of Oxy and Meth  (tcpalm.com) (23)
(FARK)   This is always fun: write a sentence that wouldn't have made sense a decade ago (with voting)  (fark.com) (603)
(CNBC)   British billionaire offers $100,000 for someone to get naked in front of President Obama. In this economy, he probably would have gotten takers with $10 and a coupon for McDonalds  (cnbc.com) (61)
(CBC)   New monkey species found in Amazon. [ Ħ Add to Cart]  T-Shirt  (cbc.ca) (65)
(Yahoo)   Alaska plane crash rate far exceeds the national average, likely because as soon as they hit Alaskan airspace, the pilots quit before the end of their terms  (news.yahoo.com) (74)
(Telegraph)   "First British-born beavers in 400 years spotted." Giggity  (telegraph.co.uk) (40)
(Maramureş)   Photoshop these women with whatever these things are  (bigpicture.ru) (107)
(CNN)   JetBlue angry motherf--king flight attendant wants his f--king job back  (cnn.com) (168)
(USA Today)   Think you're gonna save money by holding that stinking, crying infant in your lap for the whole flight? Think again  (travel.usatoday.com) (236)
(CNN)   That beauty queen missing for a year supposedly seen in Vegas that subby supposedly slept with a few months ago? Yeah, wasn't her  (cnn.com) (52)
(Fox News)   In a surprise move, Russia will start loading fuel into Iran's first nuclear reactor next week against the wishes of the US. Israel may load their own nuclear materials into the same location around the same time  (foxnews.com) (243)
(KHON)   Four-month-old Dylan is the first baby born in Hawaii from frozen eggs, although there's no proof of that unless he produces a long-form birth certificate  T-Shirt  (khon2.com) (102)
(News.com.au)   Scientists find link between faith and transplant survival. WHERE'S YOUR SKEPTICISM NOW?  (news.com.au) (347)
(News.com.au)   Judge rules that hairdresser must return $660,000 tip. She's gonna flip her wig  (news.com.au) (72)
(AP)   Two men trapped in an industrial clothes dryer. Rescue crews bring hammers, crow bars, quarters  (hosted.ap.org) (27)
(Some Girl)   Photoshop these colour-blocked balconies  (archdaily.com) (30)
(Yahoo)   "Oh yeah? Well I just ate Lester's eyeglasses. Your move, warden"  (news.yahoo.com) (26)
(SFGate)   Your girlfriend is in labour on the way to the delivery room do you A) Feed her ice chips and give words of advice B) Hand out cigars or C) Grope the attending nurse?  (sfgate.com) (129)
(Nola.com)   Monks told they can't sell homemade caskets because they are not licensed funeral directors. On the plus side, they can go back to focusing on what they do best: Making beer  (nola.com) (73)

Thu August 12, 2010
(News.com.au)   85-year-old man stung by 500 bees, cancellation of "Matlock"  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (45)
(News.com.au)   Woman jailed after swastika scratched into man's buttocks with screwdriver. Victim did Nazi who did it  (news.com.au) (45)
(Neatorama)   The Calvin and Hobbes search engine will transmogrify your life. Tag is for, well, you know  (neatorama.com) (245)
(Connecticut Post)   Palin-Americans descend on Connecticut mosque  (ctpost.com) (663)
(SLTrib)   Blind man sues Wienerschnitzel after collision with tree. Wienerschnitzel offers him position as branch manager  (sltrib.com) (62)
(Canoe)   Most Canadian women prefer the internet over sex. Canadian men prefer women just leave them alone during hockey season  (lifewise.canoe.ca) (57)
(BBC)   Go outside tonight and stand as a witness to god throwing rocks at us  (news.bbc.co.uk) (86)
(Daily Mail)   We're sorry we painted over the hedgehog, but the Tall Ship Race festival was coming to town  (dailymail.co.uk) (29)
(Some Guy)   Great news, everybody: Marshland lost from Gulf oil spill appears to be small compared with what the coast loses every year through human development  (theadvertiser.com) (19)
(CNN)   "Same sex bridal magazine fills void." Well, maybe if you rolled it up  T-Shirt  (cnn.com) (86)
(Some Garbled Guy)   12 words you probably have been mispronouncing, and didn't know it  (lemondrop.com) (603)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this old guard station and water tower  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (38)
(Some Guy)   When looking to sell your weed, make sure you text your buyer rather than the county sheriff  (tylerpaper.com) (69)
(MSNBC)   Suspect in series of stabbings arrested, is disappoint  (msnbc.msn.com) (130)
(CNN)   Federal Judge orders everyone in California to get gay married  (cnn.com) (660)
(Time)   The FDA cares more about appeasing drug companies than, you know, making sure drugs are safe  (time.com) (86)
(Pew Research)   In the latest blow to the "Anti-Birthright Citizenship" movement, the Pew Research Center concludes that only 8% of newborns have illegal immigrant parents. Take tha... wait a minute. That does seem kind of high doesn't it?  (pewresearch.org) (448)
(NYPost)   Because of bankruptcy, a Long Island man needs to sell 50 percent of his house he was bequeathed. Disclaimer: you have to live with his mom until she dies  (nypost.com) (94)
(Yahoo)   New Mormon ad campaign attempts to wash away the stain of being associated with polygamists, racists, homophobia, and Twilight  (news.yahoo.com) (483)
(CNN)   Same sex couple starts bridal magazine for same sex weddings. With "Same-sex? Really?" pic  (cnn.com) (144)
(Some Guy)   The most colorful river in the world is pretty damn awesome (pics)  (funzug.com) (73)
(Canada.com)   Judge wants all foster kids X-rayed  (canada.com) (78)
(BBC)   Arctic rocks may contain oldest remnants of the original Earth. You know, the original one, not the one we're living in  (bbc.co.uk) (126)
(ABC News)   Perhaps the most surprising thing about the flight attendant who dramatically quit his job is that he has an ex-wife  (abcnews.go.com) (188)
(BBC)   Are you sitting down? The beef you've been eating may have COME FROM A DEAD COW  (bbc.co.uk) (157)
(New Scientist)   Global warming, deforestation could finally rid us of those pesky rainforests once and for all  (newscientist.com) (56)
(CNN)   Facebook doesn't agree with Google-Verizon's plan on making the rich richer. Facebook wants in too  (money.cnn.com) (50)
(Some Guy)   California cities and counties now required to disclose public employees' salaries, proving that despite all your schooling you'd have been better off as a Maintenance Worker I  (govtech.com) (113)
(Some Overturned Guy)   Three men not charged with dragging a woman out of her SUV, primarily because it was upside down and on fire at the time  (pressofatlanticcity.com) (50)
(BBC)   Pope rejects resignations, grilled cheese sandwich  (bbc.co.uk) (107)
(Google)   Send a carton of smokes to a deployed soldier? Not anymore  (google.com) (178)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this intense individual  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (48)
(Some Guy)   Boardwalk game operator replaces Obama effigy that people were throwing baseballs at with Hillary Clinton. Well that solves that  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (51)
(Wall Street Journal)   Europeans denounce billionaire pledges to donate half their wealth to charity as undemocratic  (blogs.wsj.com) (419)
(My Fox DC)   FOX 5 Investigates: Online Defecation. What? Defamation? Same thing right? Oh, I see. FOX 5 Investigates: Online shiat upon. Thanks for clearing that up  (myfoxdc.com) (41)
(My Fox NY)   Four friends go bar-hopping. 26 years, 250,000 miles, 15,000 pubs, and 92,000 pints later, they're still going  (myfoxny.com) (46)
(Yahoo)   Further proof we're in the Summer of Recovery™ - Initial jobless claims are at their highest levels in six months. Say it with me: "If the economy keeps recovering like this, we're all screwed"  (finance.yahoo.com) (391)
(Some Guy)   If you are being arrested, don't bother calling 911 for help, cause it ain't gonna happen, lady. Just sayin'. With bonus 'Should I have not done that?' mugshot  (whiotv.com) (44)
(GameSpy)   There will be a playable Duke Nukem Forever demo by the end of the year. This is a repeat from 1997  (pc.gamespy.com) (173)
(BBC)   Pub for sale. Patrons require good walking shoes or a sturdy boat  (bbc.co.uk) (10)
(The New York Times)   The more exuberantly irresponsible you were with your home equity loan, the better  (nytimes.com) (297)
(Miami Herald)   What do you get when a taco vendor, a judge, an Iraq vet and a thief walk into a...oh wait, this actually happened  (miamiherald.com) (30)
(WorldNetDaily)   Al Gore says climate battle "lost", pushes global warming alarmists to demand coverage. No word if he flew another private jet or took limo to site of speech  (wnd.com) (540)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Cereal go-kart driver ran amok on Kellogg Blvd at speeds up to 20 MPH before clotheslining himself, being charged with two counts of taser abuse  (startribune.com) (25)
(Now Hampshire)   New Hampshire Democrats respectfully mourn death of Sen. Ted Stevens. Well, except the one guy who wished Sarah Palin had died in the crash  (nowhampshire.com) (199)
(www.wavy.com)   Virginia Beach encourages donations to the homeless. Fark: via parking meters on the oceanfront  (wavy.com) (36)
(LA Times)   George W. Bush takes his "Miss Me Yet" road show to the Dallas-Fort Worth airport. Bob Rowe said it was "Awesome" and "Way better than the 38 Special" concert from last month  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (135)
(Some Guy)   Fire hits former Nazi death camp. Looks like someone forgot to turn the ovens off  (hcnonline.com) (113)
(Yahoo)   Our defintion of "conditions inhospitable to life" gets narrower every day, now no longer includes bodies of water that are always below freezing 5x saltier than the ocean and containing 20,000x the safe levels of arsenic  (news.yahoo.com) (87)
(New York Daily News)   JetBlue jumper was not having a gay old time even before the flight left the gate  (nydailynews.com) (241)
(News4Jax)   Once again, for those who were not listening, if you're a gay sailor, never carry your cell phone into restricted areas with porn shots of you and your boyfriend  (news4jax.com) (54)
(News.com.au)   "Let's be clear, my client is tall, brunette and has an ample breast and is therefore going to naturally be sensuous when she applies cream to her chest"  (news.com.au) (145)
(Yahoo)   The bad news is that the floods have left hundreds of thousands of Pakistanis without access to food and drinking water. The good news is that Ramadan just started so they're supposed to be fasting anyway  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(Herald Tribune)   Recession causes black investment broker to spontaneously evolve into white southern country music redneck  (heraldtribune.com) (48)
(Cleveland)   GM earns $1.3 billion in the second quarter, once again proving that you can sell crap for a price, and people will pay you for it  (cleveland.com) (123)
(Boston Globe)   Federal government reminds employers that discriminating against criminals is racist and will not be tolerated  (boston.com) (220)
(WLSAM)   If your governor acts like Blago and gives free bus rides to old people, don't be surprised at the result  (wlsam.com) (18)
(Chronicle of Higher Ed)   A list of things to do with your liberal arts degree... no, wait, these were ways to pay for college in 1906  (chronicle.com) (102)
(The Local (Sweden))   Protip: When the 13-year-old girl you've paid to have sex with doesn't show up, going to her father to demand a refund is unlikely to help your case (NSFW pics in sidebar)  (thelocal.se) (59)
(Canoe)   "Motley crew to rule on Khadr's fate"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (36)
(AL.com)   Alabama professor specializes in "booty call research." In related news, Alabama professor offers record amount of extra credit opportunities  (blog.al.com) (21)
(Talking Points Memo)   A few years behind bars turns salty conservative Randy 'Duke' Cunningham into a strong advocate for prison reform. Also, he reminds us to "Check six ," words whose meaning I can't possibly imagine   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (191)
(Washington Post)   Serial semen sprayer submits shoppers to a sticky situation  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (75)
(Some Guy)   What's more worrying: A nine-year-old laying face-down in the road or Google Street View driving straight past without stopping?  (swns.com) (94)
(News.com.au)   Brass balls on the employment front: man claims if he hadn't lied on his resume employer would have missed out on his awesome abilities  (news.com.au) (20)
(Some Guy)   Illegal immigrant escapes from police station and heads out to sea to evade capture. Elaborate plan hindered by lack of boat  (swns.com) (11)
(Courier Mail)   Man has a fetish for private schoolboys' shoes. State foots the bill for court time. Judge tells him to toe the line. Subby laces his submission with bad puns  (couriermail.com.au) (23)
(CBC)   In just a few weeks, you'll get to see the best 'Cathy' strip ever: the last one  (cbc.ca) (226)
(Houston Chronicle)   Reading to the blind is a nice thing, reading to the blind about how hot a Playboy model is a really nice thing. And rather kinky  (chron.com) (23)
(Arizona Star)   Fark-ready headline: "Male (bank robbery suspect) or female (bank robbery suspect)? You decide." w/ picture goodness  (azstarnet.com) (38)
(CBS Philadelphia)   Thousands of dead fish wash ashore in New Jersey. Run off from Jersey Shore cast suspected cause  (cbs3.com) (32)
(Abc.net.au)   "Albino python on cocaine confronts police"  (abc.net.au) (32)
(FARK)   Photoshop theme: More fabulous than thou  (fark.com) (25)
(Seattle Times)   Experts warn of new superbug from India that might take the jobs of our local superbugs  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (41)
(AFP)   Small aircraft damaged by Vice President's big f--king plane  (news.yahoo.com) (57)
(Seattle Times)   Do not taunt the upside-down police officer  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (74)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Man jumps out third floor window to avoid an arrest warrant for unpaid child support then tries to crawl from officers with two broken legs. Fark: His name is "Boobie"  (suntimes.com) (96)
(News.com.au)   Ninety percent of Russian prisoners are ill, seven percent are dope, two percent are chillin', and one percent be straight-up trippin'  (news.com.au) (76)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 275: "Farkitol 100mg." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (184)

Wed August 11, 2010
(Some Guy)   Dude, if a woman asks you for gas money and you say no so she asks you to buy her a cigar and you say yes but her friends beat you up and the police chase them into a trailer park and lose them, let her go man, 'cause she's gone  (gazette.com) (42)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop this Pakistani flood rescue  (inapcache.boston.com) (35)
(News.com.au)   Man shot 21 times by police survives, gives thought to starting a rap career  (news.com.au) (87)
(WorldNetDaily)   'Secret' photos of Rush Limbaugh's wedding finally revealed. Let them eat (lots of) cake  (wnd.com) (308)
(Fox 4 KC)   Missouri declares war on strippers. East St. Louis laughs  (fox4kc.com) (108)
(Telegraph)   Scientists discover secret of what makes something funny, will next try to explain it to modmins  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (99)
(SMH)   The eight worst tourist attractions in the world. Highlights include a few sex gardens, a sightseeing neon tunnel, a creation musem, and Florida  (smh.com.au) (263)
(The Hollywood Reporter)   Bill O'Reilly: Single moms suck  (hollywoodreporter.com) (244)
(News.com.au)   Today's "Iron Chef" theme ingredient is... CHEF  (news.com.au) (75)
(Yahoo)   Former Rep. Dan Rostenkowski (D-Felon) dies at 82. Disgraced former member of Congress death trifecta now in play  (news.yahoo.com) (66)
(The Smoking Gun)   Well, what else would you expect from a 68-year old sailor without any pants on?  (thesmokinggun.com) (70)
(Philly)   Proving he's the most awesome world leader ever, Prime Minister Vladimir Putin personally pilots a plane that's fighting the fires in Moscow  (philly.com) (168)
(Newsweek)   Americans are to be pitied, not hated. Kinda like the old chick at the bar who smells of kitty litter and despair  (newsweek.com) (398)
(WGAL 8)   More than 140 years after Lincoln totally stole his thunder, James Buchanan gets his due with a spiffy new $1 coin. Coin features president's image, "In God We Trust" text and vague allusions to homosexuality  (wgal.com) (228)
(Some Guy)   A stockbroker who stole from his clients to support his gambling habit has been sentenced to play poker in order to repay his victims. And he gets to stay out of jail. No, really  (abclocal.go.com) (67)
(AL.com)   If you have a pound of pot in your home, don't go out wearing only a towel asking cops to search your home for an intruder. "Deputies found no signs of an intruder in the house, and little sign of intelligence outside the house"  (blog.al.com) (49)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this guy getting bronzed  (online.wsj.com) (43)
(BBC)   Good news: The UK increases its number of fighter aircraft in Afghanistan by 25%. Fark: That's an extra two aircraft  (bbc.co.uk) (44)
(BBC)   The worst part is, as the one guy painted it on, you know there were six others just standing around nodding  (bbc.co.uk) (141)
(Fond du Lac Reporter)   What's better than three strippers fighting over you? Three strippers fighting over you because one of them keeps telling you to touch her during a lap dance  (fdlreporter.com) (200)
(UPI)   Many fantasize about friend during sex - all of 'em except David Schwimmer  (upi.com) (133)
(Some Guy)   Today's proof that God exists: woman finds Cross on one of her potato chips  (wpbf.com) (138)
(Toronto Star)   Food inspectors recall Costco-brand Chocolate Chip n' Shrapnel cookies  (healthzone.ca) (33)
(CNN)   New study suggests that as many as 1 in 5 people in relationships may actually be in love with someone else. The rest are so dead inside that they wouldn't know the difference  (cnn.com) (279)
(USA Today)   So it turns out that when airlines just go ahead and cancel their flights to avoid fines for delays. tarmacs become less crowded. Huh  (usatoday.com) (50)
(The Consumerist)   Finally, something useful from The Consumerist: How to make a beer popsicle  (consumerist.com) (57)
(WPBF)   Man calls 911 to say "Hi". Police invite their new friend to check out the jail  (wpbf.com) (18)
(The Weekly Standard)   Harry Reid: "I don't know how anyone of Hispanic heritage could be a Republican"  (weeklystandard.com) (529)
(Some Guy)   Man describes his stolen bicycle on Facebook. One of his FB friends soon sees the bike being carried onto a city bus. A slow-speed "chase" ensues, as the bus makes its usual stops. Police arrive. Facebook 'em, Danno  (wbir.com) (49)
(Bloomberg)   Todays' "EVERYBODY PANIC" headline: Russian heat wave may kill 15,000, shave $15 billion from GDP. But it should start snowing in September so everyone should be alright then  (bloomberg.com) (46)
(News.com.au)   Richard Dawkins is annoying Muslim leaders again. At this point, wouldn't it just be easier to report on things which don't annoy Muslim leaders?  (news.com.au) (178)
(Some Guy)   As Iran accelerates out of control, one corporation puts a stop to their shenanigans  (leftlanenews.com) (68)
(My Fox Tampa Bay)   Man on Mangrove. 20' of hardwood separated two men from real freedom  (myfoxtampabay.com) (49)
(Tulsa World)   Good: Giving your two-year-old daughter a Dora the Explorer backpack. Bad: Packing it with the ingredients for a mobile meth lab  (news9.com) (46)
(MSNBC)   Japanese whisky distillers eye the U.S. market. Consumers can expect a full bodied whisky with hints of tentacle and used panties  (msnbc.msn.com) (158)
(Washington Post)   Pope Benedict gets off on child abuse  (washingtonpost.com) (42)
(Boston Herald)   Never give relationship advice to alcoholic, bipolar lesbians. (With today's Fark's lesbian photo, if you're into that sort of thing)  (bostonherald.com) (60)
(KTWI)   Today's bullet-avoidance tip....if your ex says he'll kill you, don't go to a strange apartment to meet "John Smith" from Facebook  (twister933.com) (15)
(WBZ-TV Boston)   News: $9,000 engagement ring lost. Fark: during proposal  (wbztv.com) (106)
(970 WFLA)   Hottest female prisoner in Florida attacks cell mate with pencil  (970wfla.com) (111)
(The Daily Show)   Jon Stewart asks the question the MSM won't." If the opposition to the mosque is because of its proximity to Ground Zero then why are mosque constructions across the country meeting the same opposition?  (thedailyshow.com) (768)
(Yahoo)   New York police find surprise in car trunk...live cat marinating in oil and peppers. Subby, thought hossenfeffer was made with rabbit  (news.yahoo.com) (75)
(Wall Street Journal)   Continuing economic slump causes developers to downsize vacation homes, forces vacationers to suffer hardships associated with the sharing of pools and tennis courts  (online.wsj.com) (15)
(Some Guy)   The 'it was dark' defense strategy applies to many situations, including 'wrong hole' slips, stepping on the cat, and now vehicular assault  (lehighvalleylive.com) (31)
(Some Guy)   'Raging Granny' enjoys her 7th arrest as a nuke protester, at age 91  (wcax.com) (50)
(USA Today)   The 10 most underrated museums. Bonus: Not a slideshow. Minus: Doesn't include the Creationism Museum  (travel.usatoday.com) (109)
(Some Guy)   Unemployed computer technician/furry wants to change his name to Boomer the Dog. With picture of what you thought an unemployed computer technician/furry would look like  (post-gazette.com) (401)
(The Ledger)   Taking a cue from Mexico, the Galactic Empire legalizes stormtrooper-on-stormtrooper marriage  (theledger.com) (53)
(YouTube) Video Happy birthday Hulk Hogan. To celebrate, watch this review of "Piledriver; the Wrestling Album 2"  (youtube.com) (53)
(KFAB)   Not news - 101 year old woman honored. News - For still working every day. Fark - She's been working since Calvin Coolidge was president  (kfab.com) (61)
(WSB-TV)   Traffic stop leads police to seize 240lbs of pot, 690lbs of Cheetos  (wsbtv.com) (45)
(My Fox DC)   Trying to pray but don't know the direction of Mecca? There's an App for that  (myfoxdc.com) (117)
(Some Guy)   Man loans Taurus to escort who doesn't return it; she can now look forward to a fiesta of probes. Focus  (lacrossetribune.com) (65)
(todaystmj4.com)   Tiger's an hour from Milwaukee for the PGA. One of his mistresses has a show in Milwaukee. Can we create a "not sayin, just sayin" category?  (todaystmj4.com) (66)
(Yahoo)   One part Russian nuclear reactor meltdown with miles and miles of no-man's land and one part wildfire. What could possibly go wrong?  (news.yahoo.com) (74)
(Yahoo)   It's amazing how quickly a few tons of emergency food and relief supplies can transform you from the "Great Satan" to cuddly ol' Uncle Sam  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Some Guy)   Porn star says years of screwing people for money has prepared her well for being a lawyer  (abovethelaw.com) (70)
(TechCrunch)   That HOPA "I quit" girl? Fake  (techcrunch.com) (321)
(The Union Leader)   School district sends memo to teachers instructing them on how to avoid becoming a Fark headline  (unionleader.com) (87)
(Some Guy)   Study probes heavy, light sleepers. But mostly the heavy sleepers because the probes don't wake them up  (abclocal.go.com) (42)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this mosquito-removing method  (bigpicture.ru) (39)
(The New York Times)   Mexican Supreme Court rules all states must recognize Juan on Juan marriages  T-Shirt  (nytimes.com) (830)
(10 News)   Dog that shoots bees out of his mouth when he barks files insurance claim  (10news.com) (53)
(CBS Pittsburgh)   I have embarrassed myself plenty of times drunk before, however it was never this bad  (kdka.com) (103)
(WIVB)   Man impaled on fence. Worst... post... EVER  T-Shirt  (wivb.com) (91)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop these electrified elders  (spiegel.de) (43)
(The Sun)   Whiplash mistress goes free. No, sir, you don't want another. Trust me  (thesun.co.uk) (81)
(Talking Points Memo)   In light of the recent plane crash in Alaska that killed former Sen. Ted Stevens. Here is a brief history of other American political plane crashes. I said plane crashes, not train wrecks  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (111)

Tue August 10, 2010
(News.com.au)   Drunk sent to court for opening beer: "It is rather a brave order to make for an alcoholic. It's not exactly stealing the crown jewels." Sad tag will buy a round for the Asinine tag  (news.com.au) (42)
(Stars and Stripes)   6' 1", 280-pound "pretty healthy overall" Army desk jockey in Iraq asks if being a disgusting fatbody will cost him campaign awards. Answer: DROP THE DONUT AND GIVE ME 20  (stripes.com) (202)
(Daily Mail)   It takes a village three years and more than $12,000 to change a simple light bulb. Point this out to your wife when she starts nagging you about why you haven't repainted the living room yet  (dailymail.co.uk) (75)
(News.com.au)   Cashless store owner beaten up. This doesn't make any cents  (news.com.au) (25)
(Huffington Post)   Rare white elephant given party. Gifts received: Thigh Master, Salad Shooter, and Scrabble with missing letter tiles  T-Shirt  (huffingtonpost.com) (38)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Good news: You just set a speed record. Bad news: You got written up for 178 mph because the freaked out girl passenger narced on you  (startribune.com) (132)
(News.com.au)   Fargo man tries to kick his crap at officers, don'tcha know? And I guess that was his accomplice in the wood chipper  (news.com.au) (38)
(NJ.com)   Neatnik strangles his slob roommate at boarding house for the mentally ill. What an Odd Couple  (nj.com) (40)
(New York Daily News)   Woman sitting on the jury of a burglary trial steals another juror's credit card and goes on a shopping spree  (nydailynews.com) (32)
(Some Guy)   A plant growing in my lung? It's more likely than you think. With x-ray pic goodness  (www1.whdh.com) (95)
(Mother Jones)   Yeah, about that Gulf oil spill that is almost all cleaned up. Well there's dramatic new evidence that reveals its worst effects are yet to come  (motherjones.com) (199)
(Guardian.com)   Step 1: Buy up a bunch of real estate at an elevation of 23 feet above sea level. Step 2: Wait. You already know step 3  (guardian.co.uk) (146)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop these wee water ones  (online.wsj.com) (29)
(Fox News)   Former NASA chief Sean O'Keefe survives plane crash that killed Sen. Ted Stevens by actually being on a soundstage in Arizona at the time of the accident  (foxnews.com) (134)
(Denver Post)   Congo lines up 2011 presidential election date  (denverpost.com) (47)
(Veterans Today)   Who says American conservative movement has transformed into fascism? Huffington Post? Daily Kos? Oh, Veterans Today  (veteranstoday.com) (254)
(Some Demonstrator Guy)   Hezbollah in Lebanon hires hot chicks to appear unveiled at rallies  (wingsoveriraq.blogspot.com) (139)
(Some Guy)   Department of Homeland Security warns DC Metro about explosion threat. Metro officials reportedly terrified that any explosion might accidentally result in a functional escalator  (nbcwashington.com) (177)
(BBC)   Our brains are networked much like the Internet, which explains why we think about porn so much  (bbc.co.uk) (58)
(MSNBC)   "Your muffin top may kill you." Good thing I upgraded to saddlebags and a full-sized spare tire  (msnbc.msn.com) (149)
(Nqax.com)   Subby double-dog dares you to find a more screwed-up series of tubes explaining the "tiny craft pile-up" news about Sen. Ted Stevens -unconfirmed- death. Prepare yourself for a scroll of WTF  (nqax.com) (160)
(Daily Mail)   Irish soldier saved man from being kicked to death. This would have earned him a "Hero" tag if the man he saved hadn't been Hitler  (dailymail.co.uk) (121)
(Yahoo)   Playing hard to get is killing your future husband, so give it up already  (news.yahoo.com) (57)
(FARK)   Naskar's funeral, Drew catches something icky from the internet, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 8/1 - 8/7  (fark.com) (58)
(ABC News)   SUV swerves into median killing six, but median deaths are three for different modes of transportation  (abcnews.go.com) (35)
(Some Guy)   HOPA quits her job by mass emailing her company chewing out her boss. Epic quitting tri-fecta in play  (thechive.com) (489)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   When I said I wanted to die beneath a stripper this is not what I meant  (news.cincinnati.com) (20)
(Sun Journal (Maine))   Sometimes when you leave an old TV outside the neighbors will complain. Sometimes they'll just have fun with it. "What you watching, dummy?"  (sunjournal.com) (17)
(TMZ)   If you can't trust Ron Jeremy to vouch for your sobriety at a Playboy mansion party, who the fark can you trust?  (tmz.com) (56)
(AOL News)   The Census Bureau had $1.6 billion left over, and spent it on lavish trips, cars, jewelry for Bureau members, according to congressional tradition. Nah, it returned the money to the Treasury. Someone's getting fired  (aolnews.com) (48)
(Some Guy)   Southern California on track for coolest summer on record. Global Warming Reversed, still no cure for cancer  (whittierdailynews.com) (216)
(Telegraph)   Beer prices to surge. Drink now as a hedge against inflation  (telegraph.co.uk) (50)
(ABC News)   What happens when you don't backhand your kids and make 'em eat their broccoli? They turn into this whiney 63 year old "picky eater" who claims it's a "medical problem"  (abcnews.go.com) (242)
(Some Guy)   Watch as this incredible machine converts vegetables into bacon  (i.imgur.com) (89)
(Network World)   Google CEO Eric Schmidt predicts that sometime soon in the future, governments will demand a verified name service for people using the internet with the hopes of ending online anonymity. This is a brilliant idea -ScrotieMcBoogerBalls   (networkworld.com) (144)
(The Experience Project)   Dear Internet, I've just discovered that my son is a furry, please can you help me  (experienceproject.com) (358)
(Toronto Sun)   In the wild, the hawk's natural prey is, of course, the postal worker. See how the peregrine chooses the weakest target and attacks  (torontosun.com) (27)
(News.com.au)   "Teen pulls out of virginity auction" , Well, that's one way to do it  (news.com.au) (103)
(UPI)   Man's collection of empty chip bags valued at $16,000. In other news, there's a market for empty chip bags  (upi.com) (20)
(My Fox DC)   The top airplane freak-outs. FARK: including masturbating merengue star and guy using the food cart as a toilet  (myfoxdc.com) (37)
(Some Guy)   Man threatens to stab his roommate with a painting knife. Roommate stops laughing long enough to call the police  (kitsapsun.com) (11)
(CTV)   Saudi Arabia to continue BlackBerry service - "Hey dood u shld hav seen lst nite stoning, waz rly cool LOL"  (ctv.ca) (25)
(ABC News)   Catholicism meets mass resistance from young Hispanics who want nun of it  (abcnews.go.com) (47)
(The Consumerist)   San Francisco unveils new parking meters that adjust cost based on supply and demand  (consumerist.com) (63)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Trying to pick up women by claiming to be a secret agent man is so 1960s, dude  (tampabay.com) (32)
(KCRG)   Not News: Drunk man drives through "BRIDGE OUT" sign, crashes his car into a creek. News: A bridge that's been "out" since another drunk driver destroyed it with his truck. FARK: In 2007  (kcrg.com) (28)
(Digital Journal)   Worm charmers try to break world record of 567. Total number of worms caught: 0  (digitaljournal.com) (23)
(MSNBC)   ADHD can destroy a marriage. Here's how you.....oh sock, you're the only one who understands me.....I like vanilla pudding.....ooo Wheel of Fortune is on  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (81)
(Oregon Live)   When given lemons by health inspectors over her stand, seven-year-old lemonade dealer made lemo.. err.. $1,831  (oregonlive.com) (52)
(Topless Robot)   The ten most evil trees in all of pop culture. Look, they can't help their feelings if they like the way they're made  (toplessrobot.com) (98)
(Washington Post)   That's it.... Game Over ..... Shut.Everything.DOWN. 4Chan is mainstream  (washingtonpost.com) (968)
(Boston Globe)   Stimulus project uncovers art from previous stimulus project  (boston.com) (28)
(The New York Times)   Millions of Boomers are leaving the workforce prematurely after discovering that trading tax cuts for off-shore manufacturing has not opened nearly enough positions as greeter at Wal-Mart  (nytimes.com) (207)
(USA Today)   Who says Rand Paul isn't a Libertarian? RAND PAUL  (usatoday.com) (191)
(Some Guy)   Clearing a 24,000 sample DNA backlog results in 267 arrests  (thegovmonitor.com) (20)
(Some Guy)   WHO says Swine Flu Panic over. Oh, sorry, that was "pandemic". Kind of hard to keep those straight when NEITHER HAPPENED  (kptv.com) (96)
(The Hill)   Not News: the White House grows frustrated with criticism, lashes out. Fark: at liberals  (thehill.com) (451)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this restaurant that's a real dive  (online.wsj.com) (55)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Brazilian spends his Orlando vacation at the House of Blues putting cups of urine on the bar. He must have heard about American beer  (orlandosentinel.com) (103)
(CTV)   Seismograph stolen from construction site. Police reportedly on the lookout for shakedown artists in the area  (toronto.ctv.ca) (27)
(WMAZ)   Church pastor arrested protesting against high school's "Demon" nickname, mascot, claims logo leading kids to evil. Charges include picketing without permit, disorderly conduct, attention whoring  (13wmaz.com) (159)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop these wooden horses  (3.bp.blogspot.com) (32)
(News.com.au)   Study finds Australians among world's worst abusers of alcohol, which Fosters an attitude of tolerance  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (84)
(WGRZ)   Apparently, pot-laced cookies are not an item you can put in the freezer and enjoy at a later date  (wgrz.com) (130)
(ABC 4)   Attention gulliblites, Mars will be bigger than the moon on August 27th. Proof to the left, cultish deniers to the right  (abc4.com) (227)
(Telegraph)   Blooming idiots are running the Nanny State: Shop owner ordered to take down a hanging flower basket because people could bump their heads on it  (telegraph.co.uk) (94)

Mon August 09, 2010
(Gawker)   Rachel Maddow isn't the only reporter who looked different in high school: here are the yearbook photos of all of your favorite newscasters  (tv.gawker.com) (212)
(AOL News)   And lo, the fourth horseman unsealed his scroll, and I saw a pair of lederhosen big enough for Rosie O'Donnell  (aolnews.com) (34)
(Oregon Live)   It's funny when you're on a boat and you pretend like you're about to fall in. Until somebody actually pushes you in. And you can't swim. And neither can the guy who jumps in to save you. Or the third guy who jumps in as well  (oregonlive.com) (232)
(Some Guy)   Roaming zombies may cause as many as 5,000 people in rural Alaska to lose Internet access and long-distance phone service  (adn.com) (61)
(Daily Mail)   After a long, exhausting day at a war crimes trial, it's always nice to relax that night in an exclusive nightclub surrounded by celebrities  (dailymail.co.uk) (60)
(Wall Street Journal)   JetBlue flight attendant gets into a tiff with passenger, wigs out, pops the emergency chute and slides away. *YOINK*  (blogs.wsj.com) (260)
(Daily Mail)   World's deadliest spider found in garden shed in Goucester, near lawn mower and wife's bicycle  (dailymail.co.uk) (114)
(News.com.au)   Woman catches train... then another... then another... then another... then another... then another... then another... then another... then another... then another... AND another  (news.com.au) (87)
(Salem News)   Some people love books. Some share their love with generations of children, get their MLS degree at age 58, and die building a children's library in India  (salemnews.com) (26)
(Komo)   "Driver stopped with dead woman in pickup truck", with MEGA CREEPY mugshot goodness  (komonews.com) (175)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this crossing reindeer  (lh5.ggpht.com) (37)
(CBS Sacramento)   Bill would require dash cams with tracking chips to be installed in all cars in California. Bill also includes funding for war with Eurasia  (cbs13.com) (143)
(Gawker)   Bad: being arrested. Worse: being arrested on camera for a local access "COPS"-like show. Worst: having your sister fangirl out in front of the cameras while you're being handcuffed  (tv.gawker.com) (88)
(Canoe)   British man withstands over 50,000 mosquito bites, scorpion attacks, and skin disease to walk the Amazon. In other news, subby withstands over one mouse click to get to Amazon.com  (cnews.canoe.ca) (40)
(The Sun)   Computer engineer tries to branch out to a tree, with predictable results  (thesun.co.uk) (144)
(Eurekalert)   For the first time, researchers are able to reconnect nerves that control voluntary movement after spinal cord injury. Still no cure for cancer  (eurekalert.org) (93)
(The Atlantic)   Defense Secretary Gates to cut Joint Forces Command's indefinite delivery contract for Doritos, pizza  (theatlantic.com) (91)
(Yahoo)   While most dog food is safe, the FDA would like to warn young children not to eat it anyway  (news.yahoo.com) (74)
(UPI)   The National Scrabble Championship is going to make Thanksgiving juuuuuuuuuust a little bit awkward for one family this year  (upi.com) (79)
(Yahoo)   Oil guru who warned that peak oil is fast approaching found dead in his hot tub. Tin foil futures up 73% today  (news.yahoo.com) (123)
(Fox News)   It's time to abandon Earth: Famed theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking cautions earthlings to find a way to colonize space, or face extinction  (foxnews.com) (307)
(Boston Globe)   Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia "tripped and fell" while leaving Italian restaurant, according to witness Fat Tony  (boston.com) (103)
(ABC News)   Vertigo-inducing view from the 103rd floor of the Empire State Building. Which is pretty impressive since there are only 102 floors  (abcnews.go.com) (87)
(UPI)   Somalian pirates abandon captured sugar ship, begin looking for a substitute. Splenda news for the crew  (upi.com) (80)
(WRAL)   If you found $5000 in your Krispy Kreme box this morning, police would like to have a word with you  (wral.com) (148)
(On Point News)   Remember how microwave popcorn vapors can damage your lungs? Turns out only one expert has testified to that, and "earned" $2.5 million for his expert opinion  (onpointnews.com) (87)
(Philly)   The unwarranted hype and concern over the Gulf oil spill was just like the unwarranted hype and concern over the swine flu. Or SARS. Or Saddam's WMDs. Or Y2K. Or killer bees  (philly.com) (224)
(WSAZ)   Man commits "lewd acts" with armless mannequin. Kim Cattrall not amused  (wsaz.com) (102)
(New Zealand Herald)   In the latest move to protect children from all germs everywhere, toys are now being coated in liquid glass  (nzherald.co.nz) (77)
(Yahoo)   North Korea would like to remind everyone that while they lack food, basic sanitation and a sane leader, they DO have lots and lots of artillery  (news.yahoo.com) (99)
(New York Daily News)   Story about people who have been out of work for two years finally taking action: they will be protesting on Wall Street Thursday afternoon for more unemployment benefits. How long do you believe is too long to be out of work?  (nydailynews.com) (632)
(Ohio.com)   Fed up with a local church's protests of his strip club, owner sends his dancers to protest the church. Subby wonders if there are more dollar bills in the collection plate or in their thongs  (ohio.com) (124)
(National Geographic)   Rising temperatures on Mars prove that global warming is caused by the big ball of fire in the sky....or robots with solar panels....BUT NOT HUMANS  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (221)
(DFW Star-Telegram)   Today is 8-9-10. But you know why 10 is afraid of 7, because 7 8 9. Thank you, I'll be here all day. Tag is for what many of you are thinking about this headline  (star-telegram.com) (104)
(Daily Mail)   And now for something completely different....Woman is first female recipient of grant from Ministry of Silly Walks  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(610 WTVN)   It's going to cost you $600 to send your little cupcake back to school this year. With "what the hell grade are you in?" pic  (wtvn.com) (120)
(Boing Boing)   "Nothing says 'I care' like butt-vents on a Cylon Moose"  (boingboing.net) (32)
(SMH)   Topless women refuse to something something purple monkey dishwasher. (Not safe for work)  (smh.com.au) (121)
(Marketwatch)   Gulf of Mexico oil spill is now as expensive as 8 days of war in the Persian Gulf  (marketwatch.com) (81)
(Yahoo)   Crabs show evidence of taint  (news.yahoo.com) (38)
(USA Today)   The greatest corporate giver to charitable nonprofit groups? Yup, Wal-Mart  (usatoday.com) (200)
(NPR)   You were here for the birth of what may become the next great government mandate: Meatless Mondays  (npr.org) (344)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop these leaping ladies  (cache.boston.com) (40)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Minnesota State Fair's latest "on-a-stick" option: DNA  (startribune.com) (42)
(Daily Mail)   Naked rollercoaster world record broken. No word on skid marks (some pics are not safe for work)  (dailymail.co.uk) (46)
(Washington Post)   Yes, millenials. You are special. Your Tweets and Facebook posts are interesting and important. You are a unique flower who should win every time. And you don't need a boss; you can just "self organize"  (views.washingtonpost.com) (252)
(Some Guy)   "Getting a certified letter from a lawyer is rarely a pleasant experience. But when the lawyer represents Godzilla, well, you know you're in big, big trouble"  (kjonline.com) (69)
(Yahoo)   Leading Chinese general who's obviously a big fan of "Risk" calls on his country to form closer military ties with Australia  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(Independent)   Robots to break through doors in the Giza pyramid, release The Mummy  (independent.co.uk) (123)
(SFGate)   Sure, almost every new show is about housewives, cakes or midgets, but the state of television isn't as bad as you think  (sfgate.com) (162)
(Yahoo)   As non-native lionfish threaten to to destroy the entire ecosystem of the Virgin Island's coral reefs, biologists hope to fight back using their one weakness: The fact that they are darned tasty  (news.yahoo.com) (63)
(Some Guy)   When you got the munchies, don't let nuthin' stop you from gettin' those grocery store beignets  (timescolonist.com) (14)
(USA Today)   48 down, 2 to go. "This year, Oklahoma legalized home brewing, leaving Mississippi and Alabama as the only states that outlaw it"  (usatoday.com) (75)
(BBC)   Germany closes extremist mosque where 9/11 plotters met before their attack roughly nine years too late  (bbc.co.uk) (41)
(Some Guy)   Old and busted: post-rapture pet care. New hotness: post-rapture orphan adoption  (blog.beliefnet.com) (104)
(Washington Post)   "The Evolution of a Christian Creationist." Er, wouldn't he have been intelligently designed?   (newsweek.washingtonpost.com) (287)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Researchers conclude that even though grass is growing on the field earlier than ever before, playing ball in the mud is by far mo... What? Chris Hansen is at the door?  (news.cincinnati.com) (89)
(Some Guy)   Man vs. hot dog wrapper - there can be only bun  (bugsandcranks.com) (46)
(Little Green Footballs)   Small government Tea Party candidate from New York vows to use eminent domain to stop the "Ground Zero" mosque, presumably without his head exploding from cognitive dissonance  (littlegreenfootballs.com) (543)
(YouTube)   Space ain't black enough to hide from him, it's Lando Calrissian: Blackstar Warrior  (youtube.com) (34)
(Bloomberg)   News: NYC Catholic schools get $5.6M donation. Fark: from an atheist philanthropist  (bloomberg.com) (47)
(Some Guy)   How the hippo ever got into my pyajamas, I don't know  (cabinet-maker.co.uk) (24)
(CNN)   Mia Farrow contradicts Naomi Campbell on diamond origin, which means there's a tiny chance that we're on the path to a hair-pulling, clothes-shredding catfight  (cnn.com) (67)
(Yahoo)   Escaped AZ prison inmates now believed to be taking advantage of the National Park Services's "Free Park Days" to tour Yellowstone Park  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(wtsp.com)   What's it like to be stung by over 500 bees at once? This  (wtsp.com) (91)
(LA Times)   Pat Tillman's mom has a few choice paragraphs for recently-ousted Gen. Stanley McChrystal  (latimes.com) (202)
(News.com.au)   To look on the bright side, you may have killed your father and two aunts on your wedding day, but at least you learned a valuable lesson about gravity  (news.com.au) (138)
(Daily Mail)   After lifelong search, cousin of dead airman finds ruins of World War II bomber shot down over Adriatic Sea  (dailymail.co.uk) (71)
(Yahoo)   In today's horrible economy, rising unemployment and debt to the moon there is only one answer: more casinos  (news.yahoo.com) (64)
(Daily Mail)   Ugly-assed kookaburra chick and duckling become pals. w/awwww pics  (dailymail.co.uk) (45)
(Warren, Michigan)   Photoshop the world's largest automotive wind tunnel  (bigpicture.ru) (19)
(News.com.au)   Australian abandons English Channel swim due to the fact that it's the English Channel  (news.com.au) (28)
(Fox News)   14-year-old boy accidentally starts a 40-acre wildfire north of Los Angeles as he was trying to smoke marijuana. You're doing it wrong  (foxnews.com) (70)
(Daily Mail)   Self-proclaimed 'findologist' helps you not lose anything else again - except, or course, the money you give him  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)
(SacBee)   Weed goes, like, mainstream, man. Whoa, far out  (sacbee.com) (198)
(Journal Star)   Everything you think you know about Howard Hughes is wrong  (journalstar.com) (93)

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