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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun November 14, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(The Times of India)   Iranian authorities arrest three female lawyers as part of what Mahmoud Ahmadinejad calls "a good start"  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (61)
(Gawker)   This openly gay 14-year-old has more courage, and is more articulate, than most adults  (tv.gawker.com) (528)
(saveur.com)   Tired of the McRib's limited availability? YOU CAN MAKE YOUR OWN McRIB  (saveur.com) (209)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this pair of profiles  (spiegel.de) (47)
(Denver Post)   Bioethics debate rages after Denver-area 24 Hour Fitness adopts biometric scanner system. Proponents say it saves money and is "green", critics note they have to add another 10 seconds to their 26 minute trip to the gym  (denverpost.com) (104)
(Houston Chronicle)   If you're going to kidnap yourself and your two kids to extort money from your husband, make sure he doesn't call the cops (with not-sure-if-want pic)  (chron.com) (93)
(Google)   Parents sue driver for killing their son, complain "just leave us alone" when he countersues them for letting their son play in traffic  (google.com) (208)
(The New York Times)   She's the voice of the NYC subways, but prefers to take a cab. Her story is ... one click away  (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com) (34)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Festival breaks Guinness world record for most dogs in costume. With pics of the historic event  (tampabay.com) (22)
(National Geographic)   "Ever wonder what it would feel like to go sightseeing in Washington, D.C. while dressed as a zebra?"   (blogs.nationalgeographic.com) (40)
(Daily Mail)   Hungry, hungry hippo nearly eats a vet  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)
(UPI)   Kids who hate school turn to sex and alcohol - sometimes with teachers, in which case they learn to love school  (upi.com) (38)
(The New York Times)   You fix the US federal budget (Interactive). Everyone will be happy with your cuts and new taxes. You'll be a national hero. Yeah yeah that's the ticket. Rube  (nytimes.com) (215)
(General 'Buck' Turgidson)   600,000 armed with high powered rifles to be in the wood of Wisconsin November 20th. More than we had in Viet Nam at any one time. Many will be stoned or drunk. It ended poorly for 7 last year with 4 having self inflicted wounds. Everybody duck  (wisconsinoutdoorfun.com) (164)
(Some Guy)   Captain Sully joins the ranks of airline pilots protesting the TSA's unsafe and unnecessary invasions of human dignity  (abclocal.go.com) (169)
(News.com.au)   Study suggests only-children happier than those with siblings  (news.com.au) (76)
(Daily Mail)   You know all those students who rioted in London to protest a tuition hike? Turns out they're mostly from well-off families and have never had to do a day of hard work in their lives. "Check yourself before you wreck yourself"  (dailymail.co.uk) (101)
(News24)   Saudi blocks Facebook because it "crossed the moral line"; unblocks it shortly thereafter. TAKE THAT Facebook  (news24.com) (38)
(UPI)   Green eggs, ham and $17 million in revenue last year for Dr. Seuss. He is number 6 on the list of highest earning dead celebs. Yes, Elvis is still in the top 2 at $60 million. Knowing who is number one is a thriller at $275 Million  (upi.com) (32)
(BBC)   British couple released one year after kidnapping by pirates. "I never want to see a parrot again as long as I live"  (bbc.co.uk) (40)
(Snooze on 6)   105-year-old-woman remembers Oklahoma before it was a state, credits long life to not dying yet  (newson6.com) (28)
(Cracked)   Five real MacGyvers who won battles with improvised weapons: Come for the opium-laced cigarettes, stay for the weaponized corpse  (cracked.com) (47)
(CBS News)   Sheriff who lost election to subordinate captain does logical thing, fires him from job  (cbsnews.com) (69)
(NW Florida Daily News)   If you don't mind him sticking his folding moped into your trunk, this man is more than happy to take your home as your designated driver  (nwfdailynews.com) (56)
(Salem News)   Judge denies prosecutors' request to lock man up for life to keep him from masturbating  (salemnews.com) (62)
(Yahoo)   SETI redials ET on its 50th Anniversary  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Washington Post)   For the precious snowflakes of West Potomac High School, failure is not an option  (washingtonpost.com) (123)
(Mother Nature Network)   Waiter, I'll have what he's having  (mnn.com) (71)
(The Feds)   Who is committing the most acts of terrorism? According to the FBI, Muslim extremists have a lot of catching up to do if they want to be in league with animal rights and environmental movements  (fbi.gov) (173)
(Some Girl)   Interview with the world's "youngest fashion designer" is almost as painful as the clothing she sells  (blahbethany.com) (79)
(Some Guy)   Slow news day: Promoters say if you wear their new pumpkin pie fragrance, men will "want you." But testers who tried it out said they didn't get any attention from anyone  (kens5.com) (38)
(Boston Globe)   Ford is callously throwing away 30 years of driver experience learning to recognize cop cars  (boston.com) (229)
(USA Today)   Pharmaceutical industry unwittingly makes an argument to legalize all "scheduled" drugs. Far out, man  (usatoday.com) (44)
(BBC)   Singer James Blunt prevented WW3 by disobeying a direct order  (bbc.co.uk) (80)
(Mother Nature Network)   The good news is scientists think they've discovered a cure for allergies. The bad news is it involves gulping down parasitic worms  (mnn.com) (50)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this smoke stack observation deck  (citypicture.ru) (35)
(PennLive)   Yet another article about young college grads' troubles finding jobs, with pic of why one young college grad may be having trouble  (pennlive.com) (203)
(TBO)   Those "Greener than paper or plastic" reusable grocery bags? They have enough lead in them to be considered toxic waste  (www2.tbo.com) (59)
(Mercury News)   Kid allowed to fly Old Glory. Superintendent of school feels bad. No communist manifesto to see here  (mercurynews.com) (46)
(Boston Globe)   Navy commissions new battleship, and by "battleship" the AP means destroyer  (boston.com) (152)
(Boston Globe)   When a 55 foot tall robber wants your wallet, just give it to him  (boston.com) (28)
(LA Times)   Food stylist pulled from flight for 'Atom Bomb' tattoo. Yes, folks, these are the people protecting us from terrorists  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (139)
(Examiner)   If you've ever wandered into a comic book store and discovered a group of virgins playing "Magic: The Gathering" and wondered what they might have to say for themselves if interviewed, wonder no more  (examiner.com) (173)
(Daily Mail)   Police ordered to send text messages because speaking on the police radio system is too expensive  (dailymail.co.uk) (75)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this interesting perspective  (spiegel.de) (20)
(News.com.au)   Notebook saves chief inspector from fatal stabbing. As long as no one turns this into a crappy movie starring Ryan Gosling, everything should be okay  (news.com.au) (22)
(Some Hair Guy)   Eight things your hair says about your health. And if you are bald, well it has been good knowing you  (health.yahoo.net) (51)
(Kansas City)   Not News: Police respond to reported gunfire in urban Kansas City. News: They use lethal force. Fark: Gunshots were a broken down van's backfiring and they hit the van at least three times  (kansascity.com) (125)
(Guardian.com)   Remember in Idiocracy how the FDA was run by the fast food companies? About that  (guardian.co.uk) (117)
(WIVB)   Police respond to house party fight. Kid 'n Play still at large  (wivb.com) (13)
(Some Brave Guy)   Folks who don't want to be groped at the airport or blasted with x-rays now have their Rosa Parks (a.k.a. "If Ignatius Reilly was a blogger")  (johnnyedge.blogspot.com) (921)
(Field and Stream)   Terrified woman trapped in car. By wild turkeys. In NYC. Butterball hotline recommends basting, and perhaps a nice sage stuffing  (fieldandstream.com) (100)
(News.com.au)   Ain't no party like a Chinese wedding party 'cause a Chinese wedding party don't stop until a farm vehicle hits a truck and kills 16 people  (news.com.au) (23)

Sat November 13, 2010
(Kansas City)   Law officers notice drugs being sold and used on a 350-acre farm where concerts are held. Do they: A) Go after the sellers? B) Go after the users? C) Try to seize the farm?  (kansascity.com) (87)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this rowboat ride  (bigpicture.ru) (38)
(The New York Times)   Reasonable: major newspaper runs feature on "hard-luck housing stories." Fark: it's the New York Times, and it's all about well-educated white kids living in small New York apartments paid for by their mothers  (nytimes.com) (132)
(Some Guy)   "I am being forced to sell my house of 35 years, because the girlfriend of my dead ex-husband sued me and won. Is this justice?"  (hometownglenburnie.com) (151)
(Some Guy)   To celebrate Justin Bieber's performance in Norfolk VA, a local writer adopts his iconic hairdo. Watch her transform from a hot 36yr old female with a great smile into a hot 16yr old female with a great smile  (hamptonroads.com) (103)
(JSOnline)   Kid swings on rope, hits cliff, falls into creek, dies. Parents: (a) accept that accidents happen. (b) donate to local swimming group. (c) sue the town where rope was located  (jsonline.com) (120)
(Some Guy)   "Must be young, female and pretty. Only good-looking women under 23 need apply" to become... a) a Hooters girl, b) a lingerie footballer, or c) a Chinese police officer  (care2.com) (110)
(Washington Post)   Ted Koppel writes an epitaph for current news and calls it "idealized reality". Where have all the good journalists gone? Oh, right. Here  (washingtonpost.com) (67)
(TBO)   The plot thickens as grandma who tried to sell grandson to biological daughter may have sold same daughter to adoptive parents 26 years ago. Are you still with us?  (www2.tbo.com) (35)
(Mirror.co.uk)   A man is knocked out by a folder from an air ambulance that fell 700 feet. This is what we can expect from socialized medicine... good aim  (mirror.co.uk) (46)
(CNN)   For Fark's sake media, please stop giving us the play by play on Zsa Zsa Gabor. Just let us know when she dies  (cnn.com) (39)
(Reason Magazine)   Found innocent after 15 years in jail? Suck it. Again  (reason.com) (148)
(AJC)   Envelope factory to close the week before Christmas, proving just how painful paper cuts can be  (ajc.com) (34)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   Members of Generation Y no longer want to buy cars, stay off my lawn  (cleveland.com) (269)
(Haaretz)   Iran, Venezuela and Nicaragua plan to build a rival to the Panama Canal. Teddy Roosevelt is not impressed and would like to pick up a stick  (haaretz.com) (67)
(WIVB)   ♫ Well, the cop in the vest said "EVERYONE ARREST" ♫ And it turned into a seat belt blitz ♫  (wivb.com) (43)
(Some Guy)   Jury must have been mesmerized by topless girl in Girls Gone Wild video so judge voids verdict based on evidence presented in court  (lawprofessors.typepad.com) (143)
(Some Art Lover)   Photoshop Thom Yorke's Louvre photo bomb  (1.bp.blogspot.com) (58)
(WLSAM)   More kids than ever have been diagnosed with Attenti... hey, wanna go get a Red Bull?  (wlsam.com) (95)
(AFP)   Pope Benedict XVI says internet users risk 'solitude', pleads with them to leave mom's basement, get the cheeto dust off their fingers, and quit translating "Twilight" into Klingon  (news.yahoo.com) (178)
(Wikipedia)   160th birthday of Robert Louis Stevenson. This is no jekyll. Run and hyde or you'll be kidnapped and put in the wrong box  (en.wikipedia.org) (20)
(Some Guy)   Man gored to death by pet deer. Game warden: "We warned him"  (kltv.com) (81)
(National Geographic)   Yo dawg I heard you like flamingos. So I herded flamingos into the shape of a flamingo so you can flamingo while you flamingo   (photography.nationalgeographic.com) (71)
(Some Guy)   The school was concerned about racial tensions or uprisings because of the flag. Was it A) The confederate battle flag in Alabama, B) The Mexican flag in Arizona or C) The American flag in California?  (kcra.com) (391)
(NW Florida Daily News)   After her man locks himself in his shed, pregnant woman smokes him out by blowing cigarette smoke into it. Then he threatens "to throw a bucket of urine on her" before ripping her shirt off. Then it gets weird  (nwfdailynews.com) (38)
(BBC)   Well, hear you go, Farkers. You're above average in something. Bonus: study conducted via iPhone  (bbc.co.uk) (36)
(Discovery)   Michelangelo's David as it was meant to be seen  (news.discovery.com) (101)
(SFGate)   If you want to buy your lardarsed snowflake a cheezburger and toy to choke on, hey, it's your right. At least, in San Francisco, where the mayor just told the Board of Supervisors to suck it on the Happy Meal toy ban  (sfgate.com) (210)
(Lifehacker)   What alcohol actually does to the brain and body of everyone but you  (lifehacker.com) (64)
(Stuff)   Jailed for posting naked FB pic: "Should I not have done that?"  (stuff.co.nz) (71)
(Tony)   Pittsburgh Zoo shows off two ugly-ass tiger cubs. With pictures so nice that they're GREEAAAAT  (post-gazette.com) (11)
(Washington Post)   The TSA manages to fill its ranks with such qualified employees by recruiting people who play Call of Duty: Black Ops five to seven hours a day  (washingtonpost.com) (56)
(Some Guy)   I quaeteritate you, for your lubecency, to forgo your mulomedicity, your lambition and your tortiloquy and adopt a REAL word  (savethewords.org) (73)
(LA Times)   Man: "Will you marry me?" Woman: "No." Man: "Wait here. I'll bring the car around"  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (44)
(The News & Observer (NC))   Bored on a Wednesday night? Why not go to a library, get naked, knock 1000 books off the shelves, and threaten people?  (newsobserver.com) (30)
(WMUR)   Protip: When committing armed robbery, don't use a getaway car that has your name on the plate  (wmur.com) (18)
(Some Guy)   Nobel Prize winner released by oppressive regime. No, the other one  (news.xin.msn.com) (26)
(Daily Mail)   Bad poetry is like using a screwdriver to steal a car. A tool does all the work, and the perpetrator should suffer severe repercussions  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)
(CNN)   Small amount of pot valued at $68,000,000. Police everywhere think it should be more  (edition.cnn.com) (27)
(Toronto Sun)   Abandoned kitty rescued just in time for Caturday (with "you only THOUGHT that would stop me" picture)  (torontosun.com) (785)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this holy smoke  (spiegel.de) (16)
(MSNBC)   Not news: woman charged with child endangerment. News: for drunkenly holding her infant son under her arm like a football. Fark: while celebrating because a child-abuse investigation had been dropped  (msnbc.msn.com) (50)
(Daily Mail)   Historian attempts to rewrite history books with claim that French aviators were first to fly across the Atlantic, when everyone knows it was Jimmy Stewart  (dailymail.co.uk) (104)
(My Fox DC)   Top county official attempts to flush $100,000 check down the toilet while his wife tries to hide $80,000 in cash in her underwear as FBI agents were knocking at their door  (myfoxdc.com) (90)
(The New York Times)   There are thousands of places in Manhattan to spend the night, but for twin hipsters from Florida, the best rest is found hangin' in hammocks, high above the ground in Central Park, in an elm tree  (nytimes.com) (81)
(Palm Beach Post)   In need of a truck and a gun but can't afford both? Now, you can. Get a free AK-47 with the purchase of a used truck (gun rack not included)  (palmbeachpost.com) (76)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Guy avoids vehicular homicide prison time by being sentenced to write a postcard to the family every week for 15 years. Pretty much ran out of stuff to say in Week 2  (tampabay.com) (114)

Fri November 12, 2010
(MSNBC)   Be on the lookout for Mexican hitman, answers to the name of El Ponchis, is approximately 4'5" tall, has black hair, brown eyes, and is 12 years old. Wait, what?  (msnbc.msn.com) (61)
(The Consumerist)   If you guessed Alabama as the state where they believe in corporal punishment for failing a test, step up and claim your prize  (consumerist.com) (101)
(Reuters)   When you teach your child about "good touch" and "bad touch," what do you tell him about TSA touch?  (reuters.com) (178)
(KHOU Houston)   Today's MILF arrested for sending nude pics of herself to 16-year-old son's friend on Facebook comes to you from Katy, TX. w/ yeah you would hit it mugshot goodness  (khou.com) (155)
(NPR)   Italy's PM Berlusconi's defense to underage prostitution scandal? "At least I'm not gay"  (npr.org) (82)
(Telegraph)   Holocaust film to be boycotted for being too gruesome and disturbing, not having enough explosions and car chases  (telegraph.co.uk) (125)
(Tokyo)   Photoshop these gogetters  (bigpicture.ru) (25)
(Yahoo)   Latest trend in Dubai: Temporary tattoos made from real gold. Expect to hear about it soon on Glenn Beck  (news.yahoo.com) (47)
(AZCentral)   Prom has gotten way out of hand now that students are renting mansions for $22,000 just for the night  (azcentral.com) (79)
(Yahoo)   Gamer sells virtual property for $635,000  (blog.games.yahoo.com) (92)
(National Post)   John Hopkins University: "Backscatter machines will cause skin cancer"  (nationalpost.com) (96)
(Time)   Not news: Texas again executes the wrong man. News: Hair used to convict innocent man was actually the victims. Fark: Prosecutor fought to his grave to try and destroy hair before it could be tested  (time.com) (231)
(The Smoking Gun)   Eye-yi-yi Take a peep at some real lookers in this week's Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (163)
(FARK)   The first iteration of the Fark Quiz. Ready...? GO  (fark.com) (276)
(BBC)   The Maoists had put up a poster saying: "Leave the forest if you want to remain safe." So all 22 bears left  (bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Life.com)   Take a blonde. Put her in curlers. Seat her in a filthy dive bar. Make sure her recent "nose job" looks like it was performed by some jealous rival. If she's still smokin' after all that ... well, that's rock and roll, boys  (life.com) (109)
(Some Guy)   You don't want any of this moonshine I made from milk? No? I guess I'll have to dump five gallons of a mysterious "white, sticky substance" in the storm drain then. Hope no one catches me  (pressdemocrat.com) (65)
(NewsOK)   What idiots would refuse a football expansion team? Oklahoma City. What league? The Lingerie Football League  (newsok.com) (89)
(BBC)   China is set to reclaim its role as the world's leading economy later this century - a role it has held for 18 of the past 20 centuries. Suck it westerners  (bbc.co.uk) (201)
(GOOD Magazine)   Farker is bombing Memphis.. and has plans to come to your city  (good.is) (39)
(News 25)   So you drank a liter of mouthwash and got busted driving with a .54 BAC. Do you C) break your own record a week later and blow a .586?  (news25.us) (84)
(Huffington Post)   Woman fired due to her "distracting breasts." I'm sorry, what was I saying?  (huffingtonpost.com) (231)
(CNN)   Five things your bartender hates about you. Expecting to get paid PhD wages for minimum wage work curiously absent  (eatocracy.cnn.com) (519)
(Yahoo)   Glenn Beck draws fire for noting that Jewish George Soros survived the holocaust as a child by going with Christians to rape and murder Jews on at least one night in the 1940s  (news.yahoo.com) (281)
(BBC)   If you're filming a wildlife show on anacondas, remember that there are other creatures lurking in that swamp who are just waiting for you to step on them. w/vid  (news.bbc.co.uk) (39)
(Some Guy)   Kanye, I'm really happy for you. I'm gonna let you finish, but why can't you just shut the hell up?  (esquire.com) (76)
(Mother Nature Network)   28 odd facts about the human body. "The fastest growing nail is the middle finger"  (mnn.com) (74)
(EuroSavant.com)   Udder Nonsense from Denmark: Will bare female breasts in the country's introductory video deter fundamentalist immigrants?  (eurosavant.com) (158)
(Some Guy)   Cooks Source has officially fled the internets  (cookssource.com) (100)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this dramatic hoopster  (photos2.meetupstatic.com) (27)
(Sun Sentinel)   An exotic disease has surfaced in Miami for the first time in 50 years. Dengue it  (sun-sentinel.com) (47)
(Salon)   Jack Russell terrier chases cat up a tree. FARK: cat is a mountain lion  (salon.com) (105)
(Philly)   Woman says she was forced to put her hand on a Bible and swear to her identity before she could vote. "They called it an affirmation. I call it creepy"  (philly.com) (100)
(Yahoo)   Man on trial for the savage beating of an elderly priest who molested him as a child is going with the "he had it coming" defense  (news.yahoo.com) (188)
(Seacoastonline.com)   The Mount Washington Hotel wants all businesses using the name Mount Washington to stop or they'll sue, because you know, the mountain was named after the hotel and all  (seacoastonline.com) (58)
(Some Guy)   Repeat drunk driver gets life in prison, honorable mention for Mugshot of the Year  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (82)
(Some Guy)   Because nothing screams "hire me" like a maniacal 40-page threat  (blogs.pitch.com) (175)
(Some Guy w/ nuts)   If you thought oil and food shortages were bad, wait until you have to deal with your wife after we hit "peak cocoa"  (katu.com) (58)
(WLSAM)   Post Office lost 8.5 billion last year. Dollars, not letters  (wlsam.com) (128)
(Yahoo)   You know that woman who plays the tough old lady president of Columbia Sportswear in those commercials? Well , she really is the president, and as a burglar found out, she really is a tough old lady  (news.yahoo.com) (45)
(The Hill)   "NPR says it's 'imperative' that its federal funding not be cut" Pffft. 'imperative'? Is that even a word? Speak English you elitists  (thehill.com) (327)
(Some Guy)   Grocery store recalls environmentally friendly grocery bags for being bad for the environment  (y100.com) (24)
(WTNH)   The short version: Crazy old bat doesn't pay her taxes so the city sells her driveway to someone who promptly barricades it, trapping said bat in her home  (wtnh.com) (112)
(The New York Times)   The 'I want my cake and to eat it too party' in agreement with the' I got mine and fark you party' on debt commission's plan  (nytimes.com) (87)
(Boston Globe)   Not News: Book on Amazon gets bad reviews. News: Has been continuously in print for 53 years. FARK: It's "Goodnight Moon". Childhood-on-a-skewer trifecta now in play  (boston.com) (119)
(Washington Post)   How Generation X has learned to cope with the vast disillusionment that comes from growing up and learning they're just like their parents  (views.washingtonpost.com) (205)
(New York Daily News)   Visitor trying to put money into an inmate's account at Rikers Island charged with assault after attacking a correction officer's knuckles with his face and then bleeding all over floor  (nydailynews.com) (54)
(WMTW.com)   Burglary suspect found in less than 15 minutes at a bar next door. The bar? The Alibi  (wmtw.com) (33)
(Some Guy)   Billy Ray Cyrus criticised for wasting taxpayers' money on a supercar for himself. Wait, that's not Billy Ray Cyrus  (swns.com) (57)
(Huffington Post)   What's better than two million unemployed people? Two million unemployed people who can no longer pay for rent, a car, or food  (huffingtonpost.com) (351)
(USA Today)   Navajo Code Talkers honored for WWII efforts by having Nicolas Cage staked out on an anthill  (usatoday.com) (37)
(Some Guy)   Woman shows why only eating Swiss rolls is a bad thing (With handy before and after shot)  (swns.com) (52)
(BBC)   Britain boldly enters the space race....with a paper airplane  (bbc.co.uk) (29)
(journal times)   Two guys decide to hold Thanksgiving dinner for 1,000 people.... just because they can  (journaltimes.com) (31)
(Canada.com)   Teen admits he made up story about fending off bear with pocket knife. Police became suspicious when he said he fended off a bear with a pocket knife  T-Shirt  (canada.com) (20)
(11 Alive)   Man walks into GameStop while robbers are tying up the clerk. Awkward  (11alive.com) (133)
(NYPost)   Camel cigarettes targeting hipsters by issuing limited-edition packs featuring the mascot camel in trendy neighborhoods. "This is so cool. Williamsburg's own cigarette. Smoke them if you got them"  (nypost.com) (73)
(Some Guy)   Turf war breaks out between psychic businesses in Philly. Bet they didn't see that coming  (abclocal.go.com) (20)
(Canada.com)   Prominent raw milk advocate vigorously defends famers' right to sell unpasteurized milk... until he visits their farm  (canada.com) (167)
(Washington Post)   Baby Boomers on Social Security: "We must impose tough choices and hard sacrifices that will leave tomorrow's generation with a world they do not want to live in"  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (272)
(Yahoo)   Saga of the Russian spy-ring that included the hot red-headed Russian spy now includes a defecting double agent, Russian hit squads, and Hollywood producers who would cheerfully murder each other for the movie rights  (news.yahoo.com) (40)
(Some Guy)   Student group hopes that Contra Dancing will catch on at UF. At least the steps are easy to remember: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right  (alligator.org) (39)
(ABC News)   For only $425, the Better Business Bureau will give your terrorist organization an A plus rating  (abcnews.go.com) (66)
(The Blaze)   Your childhood on a skewer: I'll huff and I'll puff and I'll have a heart attack from which I will recover though the help of porcine CPR and become a vegetarian remodeling expert and live happily ever after  (theblaze.com) (53)
(Taipei)   Photoshop this 3½ ton mechanical flower  (bigpicture.ru) (36)
(Some Guy)   Senior citizens sign up for pole-dancing lessons thinking they were going to get line dancing lessons. "It was meant to be Hobart's urban cowboys polzotic dance, a special combination of pole and exotic dancing"  (couriermail.com.au) (32)
(Fox News)   Not News: Marine runs marathon. News: Sets World Record. Fark: While wearing a gas mask  (foxnews.com) (134)
(USA Today)   Police departments are requiring recruits to give up login/password information to social media sites during background investigations. Facebook password: friskme123  (usatoday.com) (149)
(Chicago Tribune)   High School students kick off their anti-bullying "Ally Week" by wearing "Straight Pride" T-shirts. Apparently some people had a problem with this  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (369)
(NPR)   Pet physics: The uncanny lapping of cats, and the slobbering mess of dogs  (npr.org) (63)
(SFGate)   Fifty things your server hates about you. Bonus: Not a slideshow  (insidescoopsf.sfgate.com) (480)
(Canoe)   Woman tired of deer playing ding-dong-ditch: "I just wish they'd stop"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (74)
(NPR)   A Veteran's journey from Hitler youth to U.S. Army  (npr.org) (97)

Thu November 11, 2010
(Some girl)   KY man forced to eat his own beard. Katie Holmes in hiding  (wlwt.com) (109)
(Yahoo)   Passengers on the disabled cruise ship attempted to faith-heal the toilets, complained that the trip was "nothing like the brochure," and are now buying $20 "Spamcation" t-shirts. Maybe we should've just sunk the ship  (news.yahoo.com) (150)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop Ultimate Challenge: complete this comic page  (shoutirc.com) (43)
(Salon)   Mitch McConnell's wattle is in the wringer thanks to revelations that he privately asked Bush to withdraw troops from Iraq to boost GOP chances in 2006, while publicly excoriating Democrats for suggesting the same thing  (salon.com) (162)
(Tulsa World)   Oklahoma OKs 3 new laws on blow jobs  (tulsaworld.com) (104)
(Life.com)   Just a young woman, lying atop her fiancé's grave, whispering to him, to his memory ... oh, dammit ... sorry ... something in my eye  (life.com) (424)
(NJ.com)   Even if you think your meeting with the hospital security director is about the cameras you've been hiding in the men's bathroom, it's best to wait and let him bring up the topic first  (nj.com) (68)
(News.com.au)   I'm a shark, I'm a SHAAAARK, take my PIIIIC, I'M A SHAAARK  (news.com.au) (120)
(WLSAM)   Just in time for Christmas: Give your loved one a train line on Chicago's nearly bankrupt CTA  (wlsam.com) (39)
(PC Magazine)   NASA's Webb Telescope: "We will launch on time and under budget, no matter how long it takes or how much it costs"  (pcmag.com) (68)
(Boston Herald)   Homeless man attempted to to buy ricotta cheese to thwart murder "but was unsuccessful, and returned only with beer and vodka"  (bostonherald.com) (75)
(Capital Times)   Study: nearly 22 percent of Wisconsin residents between the ages of 18 and 25 reported alcohol dependence or abuse in the past year, and more than half of young adults admitted to binge drinking in the prior month. Cheers  (host.madison.com) (179)
(Guardian.com)   Russian authorities admit they have sent a hitman out to get the person who outed their spies  (guardian.co.uk) (113)
(Washington Post)   Good news everyone, if that printer bomb had gone off it would have been over Canada not the US Eastern Seaboard  (washingtonpost.com) (50)
(Casper-Star)   What is 67 feet tall and weighs 6,000 pounds? The new US Capitol Christmas Tree en route from Wyoming  (trib.com) (82)
(The Daily Record)   Teacher fired over appearing in "Teachers Union Gone Wild" video, though not for the reasons you'd expect after reading a headline like this on Fark  (dailyrecord.com) (106)
(The New York Times)   Like so many things, the myth that Vietnam Veterans were mistreated comes from the Nixon Whitehouse as a way to discredit war opponents  (nytimes.com) (316)
(NYPost)   After getting shot twice near the groin, a Connecticut man eats his sandwich before going to the hospital. Priorities, man. Priorities  (nypost.com) (54)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this purple... thing  (lh5.ggpht.com) (37)
(Dallar Observer)   Ten year employee of Whataburger fired for marrying a Black woman. In other news, some loser has worked at Whataburger for ten years (Tag for employer & employee)  (blogs.dallasobserver.com) (266)
(AZCentral)   Now Sarah Palin is calling Obama **spins wheel** the most pro-abortion president in history  (azcentral.com) (384)
(FARK)   New Fark mobile site and update on April 1st Vegas World Fark Party  (fark.com) (238)
(Some Sick Fark)   Daughter has an auto accident in which her mother is killed. Does the Father: C) force the daughter to sleep with him to 'atone' for mothers death?  (whiotv.com) (155)
(Washington Post)   LeRoy Carhart, Nebraska abortion doctor extraordinaire, announces plans to open late-term abortion clinics in Iowa and Washington, DC  (washingtonpost.com) (526)
(KPTV)   Couple caught on camera stealing from Special Olympics swim meet. That's pretty retarded  (kptv.com) (26)
(CBS News)   Contrail expert can tell from some of the pixels: "It was U.S. Airways flight 808 from Honolulu to Phoenix"  (cbsnews.com) (269)
(NYPost)   Condo board spends $100,000 trying to evict Charlie. Fark: Charlie is a 3.5-pound teacup Yorkie  (nypost.com) (92)
(WFTV)   Father sues school district that harassed his daughter -- by having her read a book about slavery during black history month  (wftv.com) (122)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this parking purgatory  (citypicture.ru) (11)
(Yahoo)   We can't stop here, this is raccoon attack country  (news.yahoo.com) (51)
(king 5.com)   A cop should always leave his two-way radio on during duty hours, except probably when he's having sex  (king5.com) (62)
(Some Guy)   "Yes, I would like a restraining order against Obama, Jesus, and Tim Tebow please"  (1035superx.com) (27)
(Pat's Papers)   Honey, you've got a little placenta on your forehead. No...no. Okay, you got it. Say cheese  (patspapers.com) (52)
(My San Antonio)   Community Chest: Shot in groin while playing Monopoly. Pay hospital $100  T-Shirt  (mysanantonio.com) (21)
(Some Guy)   Government: We want you to donate blood. Nurse: But not if you're fat  (swns.com) (59)
(Washington Post)   "I miss George W. Bush...because in the end he was willing to toss aside his ideological orthodoxy when the national interest required it"  (washingtonpost.com) (189)
(Yahoo)   Mexico's ambassador to the US, who clearly isn't real familiar with this country, calls on the NRA to help STOP the flow of guns into Mexico  (news.yahoo.com) (95)
(Cracked)   Five internet life lessons parents need to start teaching kids  (cracked.com) (125)
(CNN)   Chinese Premier in interview: "I believe freedom of speech is indispensable for any country". Interview is then censored by the Chinese government  (cnn.com) (48)
(Some Guy)   With the FDA wanting more graphically warning labels on cigarettes, Photoshop warning labels for some other products  (img151.imageshack.us) (34)
(AlterNet)   If you picked grizzly bears to be the next targets of the American Family Association, come and collect your prize  (alternet.org) (36)
(Some Guy)   With a month and a half left, 2010's Mugshot of the Year Contest is essentially over  (milwaukie.katu.com) (61)
(YouTube)   Want to be a part of Calebs 5K Saturday even if you cant make it?? DIT, plus a quick Update on Caleb/Link goes to video of me seeing him smile for the 1st time  (youtube.com) (32)
(ABC News)   It's cool everyone. Pedo Book guy didn't write it for pedophiles, he wrote it for the children. So they can establish a relationship with their rapist. yes, really  (abcnews.go.com) (176)
(CNN)   Good: new lizard species discovered. Bad: on the menu of a lunch buffet  (cnn.com) (44)
(MSNBC)   Cougar stalks 45-year-old dude. You're doing it wrong  (msnbc.msn.com) (94)
(Some Guy)   Women falling over themselves to get their hands on shoes with 22cm heels  (swns.com) (262)
(Daily Mail)   Christmas has been canceled this year due to your kids being substandard  (dailymail.co.uk) (60)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this parking deck rock star  (pics.livejournal.com) (25)
(Herald Sun)   Vehicles seized at funeral when mourners start doing burnouts  (heraldsun.com.au) (88)
(Boston Globe)   Homeless woman steals meter reader scooter. Tells police she always wanted her own volts wagon  (boston.com) (35)
(NewsOK)   Oklahoma: Mom passed out in grocery store frozen food section. Fark: Dad in Prison. Ultrafark: seven-year-old daughter to police - "Mom gets like this every day"  (newsok.com) (157)
(UPI)   Police arrest South Carolina man gered up for robbery  (upi.com) (66)
(Wisconsin State Journal)   Man grows up knowing nothing about his deceased Air Force father.... until an entire British village invited him to visit and find out  (host.madison.com) (67)
(News.com.au)   Man purposely sets himself on fire outside doctors' clinic. Friends insist he was not depressed, claim he always lights up a room  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (28)
(Some Subtle Movie GIFs)   Cool, subtle animated GIFs from various movies through the years. Some Not safe for work  (iwdrm.tumblr.com) (145)
(io9)   When the zombie apocalypse strikes, this boat/safe house on the Mississippi River will be humanity's last, best hope for survival  (io9.com) (274)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 288: "A day in the life of..." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's contest  (farktography.net) (205)

Wed November 10, 2010
(The Smoking Gun)   Meet the Illinois woman arrested last night for assaulting a cop with a sex toy (which a cop described as "rigid feminine pleasure device")  (thesmokinggun.com) (98)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this chill skill  (bigpicture.ru) (13)
(AZCentral)   City posts signs reminding employees not to drink from the toilets and urinals  (azcentral.com) (49)
(ktvb.com)   Today's HOA fascism brought to you by Hailey, ID  (ktvb.com) (136)
(The Sun)   In a real-life mash-up of "Kindergarten Cop" and "Total Recall," doctor pulls tumor out of man's nose  (thesun.co.uk) (51)
(WPXI)   "The Pedophile's Guide To Love and Pleasure: A Child-Lover's Code Of Conduct" Only $4.79 and free shipping if you have Amazon Prime  (wpxi.com) (587)
(Daily Mail)   New survey discovers that 1 in 10 men surf the internet for porn and the other 9 are lying  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)
(cfnews13.com)   PROTIP: If you're trying to flee from the cops, don't use a lawn mower. You're only going to wind up captured in 10 minutes  (cfnews13.com) (18)
(Gizmodo)   At long last, you can finally sleep with bacon  (gizmodo.com) (27)
(Denver Post)   When most men get upset with their estranged wives, they just go to the bar and get drunk. Not this guy  (denverpost.com) (37)
(ABC News)   Today's Excellence in Journalism Award goes to ABCNews, for their well-thought out, respectful headline regarding a dismembered body: "Body Found In Container Stumps Police"  (abcnews.go.com) (41)
(The New York Times)   Shirtless Joe Biden is washing a Trans Am in the White House driveway. Of course, it's an Onion article, but the NYTimes feels compelled to front page it  (nytimes.com) (63)
(Some Superhero)   When a 434-lb trucker jumps from his cab onto a guy, the "Superman" link is pretty obvious  (wmur.com) (45)
(Patriot Ledger)   1) Put a brick in a box. 2) Seal the box. 3) Sell the box for $100. And that's the way you do it  (patriotledger.com) (103)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Today class instead of finger painting or nap time I thought we would move on to counterfeiting  (orlandosentinel.com) (21)
(New York Daily News)   Today on FOX: How do you know your kids are safe? Fox5 reporter Charles Leaf exposes the deadly danger to them that hides in plain sight  (nydailynews.com) (80)
(CNN)   Five French terrorists arrested for suspected suicide bombing in Paris. Luckily, they surrendered with little resistance  (cnn.com) (38)
(Washington Post)   Bill O'Reilly hilariously cracks a joke about beheading a journalist... said journalist happens to have been friends with the late Danny Pearl  (washingtonpost.com) (184)
(The News-Herald)   Remember the neighbor from hell who taunted the seven-year-old girl dying of Huntington's disease? In the surprise of a lifetime, this horrible woman got busted for spraying another neighbor's property with dog crap  (thenewsherald.com) (179)
(Washington Post)   Indonesian government minister, a conservative Muslim, explains video of him shaking hand of Michelle Obama (a female not related to him): "biatch set me up"  (washingtonpost.com) (109)
(Yahoo)   FCC opens inquiry into Google, your Mom  (finance.yahoo.com) (66)
(SeattlePI)   High school students fight for their right to wear Sex Pistol T-shirts. This is not a repeat from 1978  (seattlepi.com) (96)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this wire walker  (online.wsj.com) (26)
(Some Guy)   British students riot when they find out they will have to pay for their four-year daycare program  (english.aljazeera.net) (196)
(WTOP)   Chandra Levy trial continues with testimony from DNA expert. Guess whose semen was found in her panties. Go on. Even Captain Renault got it in one try  (wtop.com) (264)
(Some Guy)   Persuading women and children to strip naked so they could be "purified" is a good way to: c) end up on Fark  (swns.com) (60)
(BBC)   Two turntables and a Geritol  (bbc.co.uk) (60)
(Telegraph)   English writer thinks Seattle is a good advertisement for the United States because it's the home of Starbucks, Kurt Cobain, and Frasier  (telegraph.co.uk) (134)
(The Hollywood Reporter)   Viewers who identify themselves as conservative are more likely to love TV's biggest hits: "(Democrats) seem to like shows about damaged people. Those are the kind of shows Republicans just stay away from"  (hollywoodreporter.com) (394)
(WGAL 8)   Feds propose new, graphic, Onionesque warning labels for cigarettes. Link connects to slideshow of all the smoke pouring from a hole in your throat goodness slideshow  (wgal.com) (208)
(Wall Street Journal)   The NYPD is down to less than a bullet per day  (online.wsj.com) (61)
(Gawker)   Alabama sex toy store opens drive-thru service. Most people remarked how small the Japanese cars were, how black cars weren't any bigger than white ones, and wondered why 1 in 10 tried to drive through backwards  T-Shirt  (gawker.com) (92)
(The New York Times)   Obama's debt commission suggests eliminating the mortgage interest deduction while lowering the top tax rate from 35% to 23%  (nytimes.com) (375)
(Yahoo)   Five unexpectedly unhealthy kids' foods..You know, I'm REALLY tired of "experts" ruining everything. It's peanut butter and jelly... not radium  (shine.yahoo.com) (285)
(Yahoo)   U.S. to return 19 items discovered in Tutankhamun's tomb, including a bronze dog, a necklace, and Larry King  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(WTAM)   To attract more customers, Wendy's is showing more skin  (wtam.com) (218)
(Mr. Selatcia)   Seventh largest economy on Earth releases new DVD. Tribunal goes on full alert (Sponsored link)  (amazon.com) (52)
(Yahoo)   Belgian archbishop neatly encapsulates everything that's wrong with the Catholic Church right now, claims that AIDS is god's punishment for promiscuity, but that pedophile priests shouldn't be prosecuted by civil authorities  (news.yahoo.com) (156)
(Philly)   Philly Daily News writer is duped into believing some fake e-mail address is Keith Olbermann. This would not normally be a problem, except some blogger found the e-mails  (philly.com) (95)
(CBC)   Man blames his cats for the fact his house is full of junk and pigeons  (cbc.ca) (44)
(BBC)   Somebody is going to hell on a unicycle  (bbc.co.uk) (23)
(CBS News)   Stop me if you have heard this one before ... a naked woman crashes a truck into a driving school  (cbsnews.com) (32)
(CBC)   Police say that one sign of fraud is when the landlord you found online needs you to wire the first month's rent out of the country  (cbc.ca) (24)
(Some Guy)   California: "Well, poor kids shouldn't get to go to college anyways"  (ktvu.com) (281)
(The Consumerist)   I didn't think it was possible, but we just found a worse tech repair service worse than the Geek Squad  (consumerist.com) (152)
(wtsp.com)   If you're getting divorced and saying you're broke, prolly not a good idea to post pics on Facebook of yourself at the Superbowl  (wtsp.com) (43)
(Colorado Connection)   And in other news, the Broncos lost week due to scoring fewer points than the other team  (coloradoconnection.com) (26)
(Boing Boing)   The mystery of yesterday's missile contrail in southern California has been solved, of course it was the Pleadians  (boingboing.net) (150)
(Some Guy)   Navy recruiting station figures out how to get more young people to enlist: Free beer  (fox8.com) (26)
(My Fox DC)   Guess who paid for a study that shows how we can cut carbon dioxide from the atmosphere and still burn all the oil we want?  (myfoxdc.com) (135)
(Some Guy)   Police: "How did this man get shocked with 22,000 volts?" Man's friends: "He urinated on a high-voltage transformer"  (couriermail.com.au) (43)
(Fox News)   "Some people spend an entire lifetime wondering if they made a difference in the world. The Marines don't have that problem." Happy Birthday USMC  (nation.foxnews.com) (327)
(Washington Post)   The Washington DC Metro authority is just three passengers short of unlocking the "Escalator Maimer" trophy  (washingtonpost.com) (25)
(CNN) NewsFlash 301 schools in South Florida on lockdown, including 1 virtual school  (edition.cnn.com) (130)
(Washington Post)   That mysterious missile that everybody saw off California wasn't a missile. It was an airplane that, like, shot up straight in the sky. Like a missile, sort of, but an airplane. Anyway, stop asking about it  (washingtonpost.com) (172)
(My Fox DC)   Don't you hate when you order a white stretch limo and instead get a worn-out shuttle bus with slashed leather seats, broken windows, busted A/C, and a sweaty, chain smoking driver who is looking for a fight?  (myfoxdc.com) (49)
(KSAT)   Boeing 787 on test flight makes emergency landing in Laredo TX, is immediately stripped and left up on blocks  T-Shirt  (ksat.com) (39)
(MLive.com)   ACLU urging public schools to allow more felon volunteers. The line...I think they've crossed it  (mlive.com) (109)
(The New York Times)   Proficiency of black students is found to be far lower than expected. That's racist  (nytimes.com) (497)
(CNN)   Stop me if you've heard this one before: "Military Junta wins landslide election in Myanmar. The opposition would concede, but they're all dead"  (edition.cnn.com) (35)
(Bloomberg)   China's trade surplus reaches number of annual aborted female fetuses. $27 BILLION  (bloomberg.com) (34)
(FARK)   For those who missed it: try the Konami Code on the main page. For those who didn't: All new "Hardcore Mode" added by popular demand: no code reveals and MUCH harder questions. Can you even unlock it?  (fark.com) (247)
(Some Guy)   Dakota Meyer may be the first living Marine to receive the Medal of Honor in a generation after going into firefight to recover body of fallen comrade. You know what tag to give this  (wtkr.com) (136)
(Some Schlong)   Seven things not to say in bed. "Can you break a $20?" surprisingly absent  (guyism.com) (126)
(Some Guy)   Wake up. Make coffee. Take shower. Remove crazy masturbating naked guy from your closet  (kptv.com) (37)
(Gawker)   Thanks to the hard work of the fine people at the Parent's Television Council we now know that the most popular swear word on television is #@&*  (gawker.com) (99)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this tank driver. Difficulty: No ceiling cat  (lcweb2.loc.gov) (32)
(Yahoo)   Apparently figuring nobody remembers the movie "Erin Brokovich" 10 years later, PG&E once again pollutes the groundwater supply of the town the movie made famous  (news.yahoo.com) (74)
(My Fox DC)   Chinese: Could you lose the poppy pins? British: Nah. Chinese: They remind us of the Opium Wars. British: They were some good wars, huh? Chinese: Not for us we lost. British: Sorry, didn't hear you, we were straightening our lapel pins  (myfoxdc.com) (141)
(National Geographic)   Cricket has biggest testicle relative to body weight. Ann Coulter comes in a close second  (news.nationalgeographic.com) (69)
(Nashua Telegraph)   Judge at the NH home invasion murder trial: "I could go on for days and days about the depth of your depravity. Suffice it to say, you belong in a cage. And you should stay in that cage for the rest of your pointless life"  (nashuatelegraph.com) (149)
(Canabis Maximus)   "Toga Day" at Grant High School in danger of being cancelled because students showed up "drunk and high". Isn't that how the Romans did it?  (northeastportland.katu.com) (46)
(News.com.au)   Dutch authorities hand out 30,000 scratch and sniff cards to help people recognise the smell of cannabis. In other news, there are apparently Dutch people who don't recognise the smell of cannabis  (news.com.au) (43)
(McClatchy)   Key deadlines for the Afghan war are now more like a fanciful wish list  (mcclatchydc.com) (28)
(Some Guy)   Surveillance video shows a wheelchair-bound man tackling thief. How's that On-Line GED in MMA working out for you?  (wmur.com) (41)
(My Fox DC)   When a ship from your country and a ship from another country run into each other in disputed waters the best way to straighten things out usually doesn't involve posting video of the accident on YouTube  (myfoxdc.com) (34)
(Chicago Tribune)   Chicago: The land of The Cubs, deep dish pizza and public officals on 17 continuous months of sick leave  (chicagotribune.com) (66)
(JSOnline)   Some companies figure out that outsourcing actually stinks  (jsonline.com) (112)
(Financial Times)   George W. Bush would have "endorsed Obama if asked". Yea, the British had the same look you do right now when he said it  (blogs.ft.com) (189)
(Some Guy)   A New Mexico parasite causes frogs to grow extra legs. Louisiana is rumored to be sending special envoy Emeril Lagassi to kick the investigation up a notch  (koat.com) (40)
(My Fox DC)   The bad thing about broadcasting your suicide live on the web is you'll never know how many views you got  (myfoxdc.com) (53)
(Telegraph)   Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water. Jack fell down, and broke his crown, and Jill was sentenced to hang for defaming the prophet Muhammed  T-Shirt  (telegraph.co.uk) (172)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Family in car dismayed to discover new breed of flying deer, after one flies through their windshield--and then out the back window  (startribune.com) (60)
(Some Guy)   Next time you chase a knife-wielding thief for a mile and take him out with a Jack-O-Lantern, please shout "TRICK OR TREAT MOTHERF***ER," and THEN pin him down and wait for the police  (koat.com) (51)
(3 News New Zealand)   Lesbian schoolgirl something something something  (3news.co.nz) (206)
(Mercury News)   Junkie tip #1: When trying to score some drugs, you'll always come up empty by calling the "Crime Stopper" hotline  (mercurynews.com) (11)
(Seacoastonline.com)   Last week Portsmouth, NH police were looking for "An array of adult items." This week they're looking for a woman in handcuffs and a ball gag. I'm starting to sense a trend here  (seacoastonline.com) (49)
(Yahoo)   I'm having spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, spam, no air conditioning or hot water, spam, spam, and spam  (news.yahoo.com) (139)
(BBC)   Former BP Chairman said he was "unprepared" to deal with the oil spill. Thanks for clearing that up, Tony  (bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Komo)   Son sees man removing stuff from his parents' home next door. Before calling 911 he opens a can of whoop-ass and disarms burglar. Bonus quote as burglar tries to flee: "Will you please move your car?"  (komonews.com) (87)
(BBC)   Problem: Russian prison suffers from a lack of medical equipment and an inability to provide adequate care. Solution: Sunbeds and mud baths  (bbc.co.uk) (12)
(Near the German Border)   Photoshop this section of a statue in Swiebodzin  (bigpicture.ru) (26)
(CBC)   Winnipeg Humane Society calling for protest over photoshopped piglet  (cbc.ca) (62)
(MSN)   Twelve popular diabetes myths debunked. Wait, people think diabetes is contagious?  (health.msn.com) (167)
(The Sun)   If you go to Zaragoza, Spain, be sure to take a stroll on Mario Street, Luigi Avenue, Space Invader Street, Final Fantasy Avenue, and Tetris Square. I wouldn't recommend walking down Battletoads Boulevard, though. It's too difficult  (thesun.co.uk) (69)

Tue November 09, 2010
(Discovery)   Al Gore is running out of ideas  (news.discovery.com) (145)
(Courier Mail)   Honestly officer, I put the iPod in the shower to recharge it, not film that young backpacker naked  (couriermail.com.au) (72)
(AFA)   Stoned Bears in Yellowstone. EVERYBODY PICNIC  T-Shirt  (action.afa.net) (129)
(Some Guy)   U-Hauls are useful for moving large objects or many things at once but you may want to draw the line at transporting two-year-olds. Just sayin'  (ksl.com) (42)
(NW Florida Daily News)   "It was an older man driving, maybe in his 70s. He was just going backwards through the parking lot"  (nwfdailynews.com) (34)
(G4TV)   At least I'm not the only one who is disappointed by the lack of dragons in Fantasy Football  (g4tv.com) (54)
(Some Guy)   College student uses his phone to catch a voting machine switching his vote to the opposite party. Because it was switching votes away from the Democrats and not Republicans, however, nobody cared  (newsnet5.com) (203)
(Daily Mail)   Hey, we just found the end of the rainbow, I wonder if there's a pot of OWWWW IT'S TEARING MY ARM OFF  (dailymail.co.uk) (34)
(Some Guy)   I learn something new every day. For instance, a tip-jar isn't something required after a circumcision  (triblocal.com) (23)
(Talking Points Memo)   In astounding display of masochism, black man vows to fight for minority whip  T-Shirt  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (30)
(BBC)   News: Teachers shown video of student being gang-raped. Fark: They find it to be 'hilarious'  (bbc.co.uk) (188)
(Some Guy)   87% of incumbents were re-elected last week. Feel the grass roots surge of the Tea Party  (outsidethebeltway.com) (163)
(Record Searchlight)   "The caller told 911 dispatchers the sack was suspicious because a gas station employee had a strong accent and the owners were Indian"  (redding.com) (47)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this grocer showing his goods  (bigpicture.ru) (30)
(UPI)   Missing pythons turn up at ex-neighbor's house. What Hulk Hogan was doing at his ex-neighbor's house, I have no idea  (upi.com) (19)
(WLSAM)   To enable the 30 million old fart drivers, auto makers are a) making dials larger b) adding a strap to hold onto when getting in and out of a car c) programming gps's to find early bird specials  (wlsam.com) (75)
(Some Guy)   Couple celebrates 72 years of marriage with a pizza covered in three types of bacon  (kptv.com) (39)
(AJC)   Zany Laws Still on the Books No. 317: In Dallas, GA it's apparently still illegal to show 14 year old boys semi-nude pictures of your wife  (ajc.com) (51)
(The Smoking Gun)   Priest uses church funds to buy tens of thousands of dollars of online porn. Which raises the disturbing question: Who still pays for online porn?  (thesmokinggun.com) (106)
(AJC)   You might get away with stealing flat screen TVs from a warehouse club, but taking grenades from Fort Benning and using them on police serving a search warrant is pushing your luck  (ajc.com) (36)
(Fox News)   Teens who text more than 120 times a day are more likely to have sex and use drugs, finally answering the eternal question as to whether or not correlation proves causation  (foxnews.com) (94)
(NJ.com)   New Jersey's "Safe Surrender" program was such a success that 550 people who weren't in any trouble at all turned themselves in to police  (nj.com) (36)
(The Morning Call)   Arrested man elbows cop and flees. Suffice it to say, he failed to run all the way to a non-extradition country  (mcall.com) (12)
(9 News)   Well, people kept ringing the bell  (9news.com) (34)
(Washington Post)   We finally have an official tally of how many people will be brought to justice for destroying CIA torture tapes under the Bush Administration: zero  (washingtonpost.com) (182)
(AZCentral)   Man admits sniffing spraypaint, throwing oranges at planes  (azcentral.com) (34)
(The New York Times)   We can stop teen bullying by ratcheting up teen pregnancy. Or something   (opinionator.blogs.nytimes.com) (31)
(Some Guy)   Alaska Airlines gives in to whiny couple, reimburses Alberta family who missed flight due to uncontained diaper blowout  (vancouversun.com) (186)
(NW Florida Daily News)   It's got Walmart, a stolen turkey sandwich and a pilfered Halloween costume - four timeless paragraphs in the annals of high crime  (nwfdailynews.com) (12)
(Some Guy)   Naked man disqualified in Richard Gere impersonation contest for wrong species of rodent  (foxcarolina.com) (55)
(Yahoo)   British man and woman take a stand for civil rights and against "heterophobia" by demanding the right to form a civil union just like same sex couples can  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(Some Guy)   DJ caught playing with his trouser snake on a plane beats off allegations he was using cocaine at the time  (independent.ie) (24)
(WTAM)   35 years since the Edmund Fitzgerald sank, 34 years since that damn song about it  (wtam.com) (215)
(ABC News)   Do you believe in Jesus, Noah's Ark, E.S.P., clairvoyance, telekinetic movement, the Loch Ness monster, and the theory of Atlantis? If there's a steady paycheck in it, I'll believe anything you say  (abcnews.go.com) (252)
(The Morning Call)   Luke Skywalker : that one AT-AT from "The Empire Strikes Back" :: a raccoon : this guy's car  (mcall.com) (54)
(Washington Post)   15 arrested in HoCo prostitution sting. In other news, there is a place called HoCo. And you can get ho's there  (voices.washingtonpost.com) (92)
(FARK)   Sasha Grey double-penetrating movie markets, big roamin' numerals, and Brazilians waxing ecstatic over their new female president: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 10/31 - 11/6  (fark.com) (24)
(io9)   Forget the Chupacabra. This Indian neighborhood is tormented by a cat-dog-mongoose hybrid called the Bhootbilli  (io9.com) (22)
(CNN)   Off By One Letter News reports giant ashhole in Indonesia  (edition.cnn.com) (47)
(CBS News)   If you launched a large missile off the coast of Los Angeles today, the US Navy and Air Force would like to talk with you  (cbsnews.com) (400)
(Some Guy)   ProTip: When you steal a cellphone, don't snap self portraits with it and email them to friends  (wiod.com) (30)
(Some Guy)   You can all stop panicking now: There won't be a global climate catastrophe because God promised he wouldn't destroy the earth again after Noah's Flood  (juancole.com) (261)
(New York Daily News)   You are wanted for murder. Do you: c) go to an NBA game just days after you were on a JumboTron camera at the same arena in the same gaudy bling you wore when you allegedly pulled the trigger?  (nydailynews.com) (142)
(AFP)   Now that the election is over, the Governor of Florida can direct his attention to matters that really impact the citizens. Like pardoning Jim Morrison 39 years after his death  (news.yahoo.com) (81)
(Mother Nature Network)   Forget peace and security. Experts say what people living in the Gaza Strip really need are more therapists  (mnn.com) (68)
(TC Palm)   Man accused of letting his testicles dangle out from under his shorts while his landlady was talking to him about paying rent. "The report doesn't specify the length of the man's shorts"  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (113)
(FARK)   LP #300 - You there...what's your profession? lp? LP?? THIS IS NOT EL PEE - THIS IS MADNESS Oh - and Last Post wins  (fark.com) (lots)
(Google)   The Beatles: Now more popular than Jesus AND Hitler  (google.com) (70)
(New York Daily News)   Woman who was hit by a frozen turkey six years ago has now forgiven the teens. All she now wants is an apology, her hospital bill paid, and to beat the stuffing out of them  (nydailynews.com) (66)
(Yorkshire Evening Post)   It doesn't get much batter than this  (yorkshireeveningpost.co.uk) (24)
(Some Aunt)   Update on Caleb and info on "Caleb's Run" A 5k for Caleb with all proceeds going to his medical bills  (wrcbtv.com) (54)
(Palm Beach Post)   A father is charged with child neglect after authorities find a stripper pole in the living room, marijuana in an ash tray, and alcohol stored in his teenage daughter's room. That's not neglect, that's career training  (palmbeachpost.com) (79)
(Cracked)   Five common medical procedures that secretly aren't worth it. Penis enlargement inexplicably absent  (cracked.com) (404)
(Some Guy)   Woman afraid of a terrorist plot calls the cops because a) she intercepted coded communications b) she found a land mine in her front yard c) she thinks they poisoned her food and wants her vomit tested  (chicoer.com) (32)
(News.com.au)   Worst Korea adds goldfish to the G-20 security team  (news.com.au) (42)
(KFAB)   Man banned from flying after butt-grabbing, peanut-throwing, jaw-punching incid....wait, you can still get peanuts?  (kfab.com) (66)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this site inspection  (online.wsj.com) (24)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Little girl riding a Barbie Power Wheel Jeep gets carjacked  (nwfdailynews.com) (70)
(CNN)   Cleric rails against Yemen, Iran, U.S., having to use blunt weapons, rolling d8 instead of d10 for hit points  (cnn.com) (162)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop this four legged beast  (inapcache.boston.com) (19)
(SMH)   Sorry sir, but you are not gay enough to legally enter our country  (smh.com.au) (73)
(Google)   Where not to stand during a thunderstorm, #3,905: Under a giraffe  (google.com) (44)
(Some Guy)   Police capture man with 50 pounds of pot, arrest him for unlawful impersonation of Snoop Dogg  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (35)
(Daily Mail)   Office manager bends woman over his knee and spanks her. Welcome to Fark, Mr. Smith  (dailymail.co.uk) (96)
(The Sun)   Two young boys say their pale skin, dark shadows under the eyes, and sharp fangs prove they're vampires. We'll see about that as we look at their .... OH MY GOD GET THE HOLY WATER  (thesun.co.uk) (126)
(Toronto Sun)   Owe child support? The Ontario government gets to keep your car now  (torontosun.com) (432)
(The Sun)   Shoplifter tries to get away with 30 tubes of toothpaste in her pants. Because you're reading this on Fark, you can safely assume that she's quite Crest-fallen  (thesun.co.uk) (41)
(Some Guy)   Son Reunites Father With 1970 Pontiac GTO, with video  (thepittsburghchannel.com) (76)
(Some Guy)   Sight of meat makes people less aggressive. From what I've heard of American Thanksgiving family dinners, that might not be so true  (vancouversun.com) (49)
(SFGate)   Government transparency does not include sending the names and Social Security numbers of 12,000 GSA employees to a private email address  (sfgate.com) (26)
(The Sun)   "I'm so desperate for a baby that I grab strangers for sex on nights when I am most fertile." If she spent more time at the gym and less time studying fertility charts, this may not be a problem  (thesun.co.uk) (370)

Mon November 08, 2010
(Some Guy)   World War II plane pulled from Lake Michigan. Possibly an off-course Luftwaffe pilot flying back from Pearl Harbor; we may never know  (wgntv.com) (181)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this digitally interactive display  (bigpicture.ru) (24)
(Edmonton Journal)   Airline desk agent refuses to let a baby with a 'diaper blow-out' board plane  (edmontonjournal.com) (586)
(Some Guy)   SCOTUS re HealthCare: "Meh, not now"  (1035thebeat.com) (171)
(Dayton Daily News)   Sure, you've done things that you are ashamed of, but are you man enough to kick your own ass to make things right?  (daytondailynews.com) (53)
(Some Guy)   Dissecting a lego frog...brick by brick  (newslite.tv) (26)
(TheSpec.com)   Cops arrest driver who threw potato at a pedestrian who did not have her eyes peeled. Story to the left, common taters to the right  T-Shirt  (thespec.com) (82)
(Some Guy)   The only cat involved in the destruction of the car was the one hiding in the engine compartment (pics of said destruction)  (kxlh.com) (77)
(Some Guy)   ATTENTION North Dakota: The pig spleen forecast is calling for one mean wet winter  (thedickinsonpress.com) (30)
(Fox News)   Louisiana schools enact plan to report parents who can afford school lunches and still refuse to pay for them to Child-Protective authorities  (foxnews.com) (219)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop theme: What you don't want to see from your window seat (LGT a real life example)  (spiegel.de) (91)
(BBC)   Interesting quiz to see if you can spot the fake smiles. Subby failed with a pathetic 5/20  (bbc.co.uk) (503)
(Some Guy)   2 out of 5 Americans admitted to falling asleep while driving; 4 of 3 admitted to falling asleep in math class  (1035thebeat.com) (107)
(Some Guy)   Good places to smoke a joint: your living room, a Dave Matthews Band concert, the Captain's cabin of the Coast Guard cutter you snuck aboard. Wait, what?  (peninsuladailynews.com) (77)
(I Heart Chaos)   Of all the crazy sandwich ideas out there, behold a true feat of American sandwich engineering. Sandwicheering?  (iheartchaos.com) (152)
(NPR)   How your local grocery store is using every deceitful trick in the advertising playbook to fool you into eating healthy food  (npr.org) (82)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Police conduct raids on hair salons, arrest 37 for "barbering without a license"  (orlandosentinel.com) (150)
(PennLive)   Remember that whole "patriot act" "if you've done nothing wrong you've got nothing to fear" thing? Yeah, about that - PA has been using it to spy on everyone from Teabaggers to gay rights activists. Thanks, Bush  (pennlive.com) (367)
(Pat's Papers)   Sugar doesn't make kids hyperactive says scientist while peeling daughter's hands, several stickers and a glue gun from her face  (patspapers.com) (105)
(Discover)   A massive coral-die off occurs near Deepwater Horizon, starting the chain-reaction of desolution in the Gulf  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (128)
(Huffington Post)   The slide into plutocracy continues: man won't face felony hit-and-run charge because he manages $1 billion in assets for Morgan Stanley  (huffingtonpost.com) (433)
(Some Guy)   ProTip: If you can't smell gas because of a cold, you prob *BOOM*  (y100.com) (16)
(Some Guy)   "Are you here to claim the $150? Is your name Gail?" Why yes... yes it is  (y100.com) (42)
(Engadget)   Coming soon to the U.S.: Speed cameras that can see if you're wearing your seat belt or tailgating or driving without insurance  (engadget.com) (382)
(Yahoo)   As probably should have been expected, on the second day of Obama's India trip, a song and dance number broke out  (news.yahoo.com) (113)
(Yahoo)   A novel new way to get out of jury duty: Be a childhood friend of Jeffrey Dahmer's  (news.yahoo.com) (104)
(NFL.com)   Ravens punter now has a 116 QB rating (Jose Cuervo Cue Moment of the Week)  (nfl.com) (122)
(Some Guy)   World's rarest breed of dog found in illegal PA kennel. Your dog wants protection  (publicopiniononline.com) (80)
(AZCentral)   Tea Party members complain about their town's curbside recycling program, saying it's a step closer to socialism  (azcentral.com) (475)
(The Macomb Daily)   He would have rented a smaller U-Haul had he known his girlfriend would have run him over with it  (macombdaily.com) (53)
(Some Scottish Guy)   "The logo for the firm even has an image of two women either side of a man - with their knickers round their ankles." Company spokesman: "We're only trying to be sociable"  (thescottishsun.co.uk) (183)
(Sun Sentinel)   Apparently this needs repeating: If you really need to check your Myspace account when you burglarize a house, make sure you logout when you're done  (sun-sentinel.com) (53)
(Network World)   First-person shooters steal early jump on "Call of Duty: Black Ops"  (networkworld.com) (153)
(Some Monk)   Photoshop this cross clubber  (bigpicture.ru) (19)
(AL.com)   Neigh means neigh  (blog.al.com) (174)
(Daily Mail)   I'll just wait over here, in the fridge  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(New Scientist)   Climate scientists say that thanks to better computer models, they are now able to incorrectly predict the number of seasonal hurricanes up to ten years in advance  (newscientist.com) (139)
(MSNBC)   I'd like to fritter away some time with this list of America's best doughnuts, but nothing could be cruller than making the hole thing a slideshow  (msnbc.msn.com) (124)
(Metro)   To be fair, if somebody's pants are on fire, you should probably expect them to lie about what caused it  (metro.co.uk) (30)
(CNN)   The top 10 most inappropriate places to flirt. Family reunions surprisingly absent from the list  (cnn.com) (415)
(Jurassic Bark)   This dog would give up all the steak in the world for one more day with his master. Jeez, sure is dusty in here (with news video)  (wfaa.com) (175)
(Telegraph)   Terrifying pictures from a shark dive. Obligatory "I'm a shaaaaaaaaark" pictures included  (telegraph.co.uk) (124)
(KTVZ)   Ex-convict makes 'killer bread' his passion, says the yeast he can do for the community is make some honest dough  (ktvz.com) (35)
(Daily Mail)   Swedish monarch accused of attending wild sex parties and other debauchery worthy of a Roman emperor. Unfortunately, it's not the hottie youngest princess  (dailymail.co.uk) (72)
(Free Press)   Winning $128 million Powerball ticket sold in Detroit-area adult bookstore. Hopefully it's not stuck to anything  (freep.com) (56)
(SMH)   Australia in a big flap over increase in vaginal surgery  T-Shirt  (smh.com.au) (96)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this giant Dorito  (upload.wikimedia.org) (35)
(News.com.au)   Playing Mozart over mall speakers shown to cut crime. Similar experiment playing Shubert remains unfinished  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (84)
(Some Guy)   Bad: Intruder breaks into your house. Worse: Police mistake you for the intruder. Fark: They hold you down while the real intruder stabs you to death  (yomiuri.co.jp) (112)
(Fox News)   Vigilantism can be a good thing  (foxnews.com) (161)
(Yahoo)   How much would you pay to watch a recently released movie at home instead of at the theater? Time Warner thinks you'll pay 30-50 bucks a pop  (news.yahoo.com) (334)
(Telegraph)   Fat children actually eat better diets than thin children, say big-boned researchers  (telegraph.co.uk) (121)

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