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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun December 05, 2010
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(CNN)   Gas could reach $3 a gallon by Christmas. Merry Christmas everyone  (cnn.com) (319)
(Some Teens)   Photoshop this snow day sledding  (bigpicture.ru) (22)
(NYPost)   Woman sues popular NYC pub claiming the owner's much loved cat viciously mauled her (w/pic of the menacing feline)  (nypost.com) (203)
(Washington Post)   Kilt-wearing Scots in Va. parade protest new rule requiring underwear  (washingtonpost.com) (128)
(Chicago Tribune)   Pretentious dietitian releases annual airline food rankings. Spoiler alert: they all suck  (chicagotribune.com) (106)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this break from business  (online.wsj.com) (34)
(Miami Herald)   The latest problems with the Toyota Camry: Uncontrolled U-turns and failure to float  (miamiherald.com) (56)
(Some Farkette)   This photo of farker DeiterLee has a chance of being projected on the new Dali museum if it gets enough votes  (community.hipstamatic.com) (151)
(Uncrate)   "You got your bacon in my peanut butter." " You got your peanut butter in my bacon." " You got chocolate on my peanut butter and bacon." Mmmmmm, chocolate covered peanut butter bacon  (uncrate.com) (89)
(Some Non-Partisan Guy)   A CNN reporter is put on the airline watch list after criticizing the TSA. You're either with us or against us (with video goodness)  (prisonplanet.com) (179)
(Google)   Calling on the power of Fark: I'm trying to figure out Sunday dinner. Any ideas or recipes?  (google.com) (326)
(MaineToday.com)   Man complains that he was written up by the state health inspector for having an employee without a hairnet. A bald employee. *results from your state may vary  (onlinesentinel.com) (77)
(MSNBC)   Today's marketing disguised as shocking news ~spins wheel o'doom~ KILLER SHOES  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (103)
(My Fox NY)   The extension cord powering your Christmas decorations is unlicensed electrical wiring, and it must be removed  (myfoxny.com) (124)
(ProJo.com)   21 year-old man steals a car and "personal items" from a store, breaks into an off duty cop's car and accomplishes a B&E at a prison guard's house. All in less than half an hour  (newsblog.projo.com) (25)
(Boston Globe)   25 things to do in Boston for under $25.00 That's, like, less than a buck each  (boston.com) (74)
(Some Guy)   License and insurance please, and does the alligator in the back seat have any ID  (kctv5.com) (18)
(WLBZ2.com)   This years first drunken snowmobiler falling through the ice comes to us from the get drunk and die state  (wlbz2.com) (72)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this gathering for a giveaway  (online.wsj.com) (16)
(CNN)   The "Throat of Fire" erupts in Ecuador. Surprisingly, this is not the name of a 70's porn flick  (cnn.com) (43)
(Some Guy)   New atheist bus ads compare Jesus to Bigfoot  (vancouversun.com) (1187)
(Daily Mail)   ♫ Oh, say can you sell? ♫  (dailymail.co.uk) (20)
(Canoe)   News: Brits trapped in pub for almost a week Fark: With 18 year old waitress  (cnews.canoe.ca) (169)
(Telegraph)   Babies and young children are immune from 'catching' yawns. The same can't be said for those reading this headline  (telegraph.co.uk) (77)
(News.com.au)   Railroad employees caught using drugs. Officials grew suspicious after noticing track marks  (news.com.au) (35)

Sat December 04, 2010
(Bowery Street, New York City)   Photoshop this weird wall  (bigpicture.ru) (33)
(Some Aunt)   Caleb's Project, some pictures from his recovery, and a thank you  (helpcaleb.com) (48)
(Canoe)   There's one very simple rule to follow when you're stealing $90 million in gold from Hong Kong: DON'T GET CAUGHT BY THE CHINESE POLICE  (cnews.canoe.ca) (94)
(Daily Herald)   The story of the Passenger Pigeon. Suck it Al Gore  (dailyherald.com) (102)
(Cracked)   Money, and five other random things other than drugs that reduce pain  (cracked.com) (51)
(Some Guy)   Woman charged with DUI after crashing into beer truck because the arresting officer smelled alcohol  (krtv.com) (41)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Not News: Local highway bridge plagued by traffic backups. News: Giant Oak visible from local highway bridge lit with 39,760 LEDs for holidays. -- Nevermind the road, look at the tree. Look at it. LOOOK  (startribune.com) (74)
(MSNBC)   The next thng that's killing you, your pets and family is ~spins wheel~ YOUR EVIL TOXIC LIVINGROOM  (msnbc.msn.com) (36)
(Guardian.com)   Remember how China hacked Gmail? It was ordered by a Chinese politician that was upset someone called him a 'meanie head' online. WW3 expected to start moments after first Chinese person creates a Fark account  (guardian.co.uk) (72)
(The Morning Call)   Judge denies having "nasty, rude, erratic, strange, bizarre, irrational, unpredictable, yelling, demeaning, babbling, rambling, nutty, and crazy" behavior, admits to eating more than one Lay's potato chip  (mcall.com) (46)
(The New York Times)   Some people don't know how to drive a stick. Others can't swim. But we ALL know what to do in the event of a zombie apocalypse  (nytimes.com) (175)
(The News & Observer (NC))   Baker arrested by Dept of Agriculture police, held on $1.5 million bail, for including gluten in the gluten free bread  (newsobserver.com) (211)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Most beer thieves are happy to get away with a 12-pack. This man got away with an entire van of beer  (news.cincinnati.com) (33)
(The Morning Call)   ♫ The devil went to Dollar General ♫ She was looking for some cash to steal ♫ She was in some strife ♫ And she had a knife ♫ And she was willing to make 'em squeal ♫  (mcall.com) (31)
(The Scotsman)   Precious little snowflakes banned from playing in snow because they might get cold and wet  (news.scotsman.com) (92)
(Yahoo)   Panel recommends expanding use of stomach bands. Fark Experts™ recommend eating less, exercising more  (news.yahoo.com) (115)
(WLSAM)   Smokin' hot funeral director gets jail just because she switched some ashes of a family's dead loved one. Is there no justice?  (wlsam.com) (173)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this surreal chair scene  (contemporist.com) (41)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Fat Burger twins shocked and upset that Southwest Airlines made them purchase tickets for extra seats to cover the overloading of the plane, gravity well that formed around them  (suntimes.com) (171)
(WLSAM)   Teacher admits to having sex multiple times with her 16 year old student, smoked marijuana with him and only gets 30 months probation. Did she get off easy? You'd have to ask her student  (wlsam.com) (61)
(Canoe)   B.C. task force seizes 54,000 pot plants, invents the wheel  T-Shirt  (cnews.canoe.ca) (56)
(SFGate)   Rare 12' long serpentine oarfish washes up on Malibu shore, is promptly cleaned, grilled, dusted with lime, sea salt, Malabar peppercorns and served with a bold but casual Alsatian Pinot Blanc  T-Shirt  (sfgate.com) (80)
(Some Guy)   If you must discipline subordinates, use constructive criticism. Don't pepper spray them, choke them, and staple them over 100 times. This rule even applies if you are a Navy Senior Chief Petty Officer  (hamptonroads.com) (57)
(WLSAM)   Chicago's O'Hare airport voted best airport for third year in a row. LAX demanding a recount  (wlsam.com) (111)
(Some Guy)   Severus Snape takes time from his busy schedule of killing Dumblebore and harrassing Harry Potter to bring you GQ's Burger of the Year. In-and-Out and Five Guys fanboys express your butthurt to the right  (gq.com) (231)
(Stuff)   Wellington officials do not want to create a "police state" by ticketing jaywalkers, no matter how many of them continue to walk in front of buses  (stuff.co.nz) (38)
(CNN)   ♫ Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam Spam, Wonderful Spam ♫  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (65)
(Bangor Daily News)   After losing his truck, his weed, and $490, a Canadian man says he never wants to visit Maine again. Then again, who does?  (bangordailynews.com) (105)
(Some Guy)   Unabomber's Montana property for sale. Perfect for extended vacations, quiet reflections and hiding from the FBI  (greatfallstribune.com) (43)
(TDN)   "Speeches, prayer, cheerleaders, a ribbon cutting and a release of doves heralded Monday afternoon's reopening of the Nutty Narrows Bridge for squirrels"  (tdn.com) (33)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Euphemistically named "power chairs" haul fatties, scare drivers, confuse police, keep Fark headlines rolling in  (tampabay.com) (160)
(Some Guy)   PayPal pulls plug on WikiLeaks payments per political pressure piling up pole to pole  (vancouversun.com) (377)
(Boston Herald)   You know who else hates people who leave their Christmas lights up all year?  (news.bostonherald.com) (39)
(io9)   How is feathered babby dinosaur formed?  (io9.com) (34)
(Buffalo News)   NY officials say it's not their fault thousands of drivers got stranded in Buffalo - I mean, who knew it snowed there in December?  (buffalonews.com) (128)
(Beatcalls)   His plan to rid the country of German confectionery manufacturers was derailed in the early stages  (beatcalls.com) (15)
(ICNetwork)   After being abandoned in the cold in cardboard boxes, eight cats, including one-week-old kittens Freeze and Frost, hope to make a complete recovery in time for Caturday  (walesonline.co.uk) (675)
(Yahoo)   Two rare red foxes confirmed in Sierra Nevada, you big dummy  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this bold bather  (online.wsj.com) (20)
(Huffington Post)   America's top ten dumbest cities  (huffingtonpost.com) (188)
(WLSAM)   The answer to ending childhood obesity: no more bake sales  (wlsam.com) (55)
(wtsp.com)   Man arrested with 83 jars of moonshine. No, this is not a repeat of 1925  (wtsp.com) (37)
(The New York Times)   Mom who proclaimed "My son is gay" and posted a picture of him on her blog is "flabbergasted" when told that she outed him: "He's 5 years old. He's made no sexual conscious choice"  (well.blogs.nytimes.com) (198)
(Some Guy)   Conway Twitty was gay. Apparently, those were fightin' words in the trailer park  (baynews9.com) (102)
(The Atlantic)   Top ice cream innovations of 2010, as listed by "ice cream artisan." Bacon is there, so's salt and pepper. Black garlic, naturally. Coffee ice cream sandwich? Yes, please  (theatlantic.com) (40)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Not News: Teen writes offensive phrase on board, gets punished. News: teen is a foreign exchange student and is being sent back to his country. Fark: the phrase? Death to America  (nwfdailynews.com) (257)
(News.com.au)   Man who directly killed 100 people and ordered the deaths of more than 4,000 people sentenced to eight years in prison. Wait, what?  (news.com.au) (72)
(News.com.au)   UN says by 2030, climate change will cause nearly one million deaths a year. Add to this the deaths from second-hand smoke, smog, tanning booths, E. coli, cell phone radiation, and mounting obesity - and traffic by then should be a breeze  (news.com.au) (342)

Fri December 03, 2010
(Van Sun)   University prepares resident for real world by forcing him to vacate student housing, only 13 years after his last class  (vancouversun.com) (68)
(Some Forward Guy)   Don't you hate it when you're trying to delete a naked lady photo someone sent to your Blackberry, and you accidentally forward it to a female political rival?  (northjersey.com) (48)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this stylish subway car  (pics.livejournal.com) (28)
(Telegraph)   Heavy rain and high tides leave much of the historic city of Venice indistinguishable from normal years  (telegraph.co.uk) (42)
(WTOP)   Officials at Arlington National Cemetery are more likely to know who is buried in the Tomb of the Unknown Solider than who is buried under any particular headstone  (wtopnews.com) (36)
(NJ.com)   Princeton student body votes against switching hummus brands, in what observers are calling a historic referendum on whirled peas  (nj.com) (60)
(ABC Action News)   Droid makes guys ear bleed, top that one Apple  (abcactionnews.com) (117)
(Boston Globe)   High school goes beserk and into lockdown mode over a BB gun. You could shoot your eye out (if it was loaded)  (boston.com) (88)
(Mother Jones)   WikiLeaks No. 74296142: The Obama White House and Republicans got real bipartisan in an effort to kill the torture probe when Spain considered a criminal case against ex-Bush officials  (motherjones.com) (114)
(NPR)   Americans fail the climate change quiz, and not surprisingly it's the people that feel the most smug doing the failing  (npr.org) (135)
(MSNBC)   Good news, everyone. Chances someone has the same Social Security number as you do are only one in seven  (redtape.msnbc.com) (95)
(The Smoking Gun)   Fat bald guys, rude FAQs, tear-soaked mascara shots, and Chuck Norris jokes- it's like this week's Mugshot Roundup is composed entirely of Farkers  (thesmokinggun.com) (136)
(Telegraph)   Wikileaks' Assange does not respond well to any non-fawning questions about his motives and actions  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (197)
(post-gazette.com)   Police searching for vandal that carved "Nemo me inpune lacessit." into a dozen cars at local auto dealership. No word if any Amontillado was found at the scene  (post-gazette.com) (95)
(USA Today)   Supreme Court to rule whether disabled veterans should be treated like convicted criminals  (usatoday.com) (86)
(The Smoking Gun)   Rest easy, arachnophobes. The nefarious German tarantula smuggler has been arrested  (thesmokinggun.com) (68)
(The Smoking Gun)   FBI has to ask for another search warrant after rifling through the wrong Gmail account  (thesmokinggun.com) (48)
(Canoe)   Woman's body found with recycling. It's a sorted story  (cnews.canoe.ca) (51)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this collector  (online.wsj.com) (31)
(Some Girl)   "I don't want to alarm anybody but there's a lot of porn on the internet"  (tvnz.co.nz) (476)
(Yahoo)   14 yo sets off from Netherlands in the hopes of being the youngest solo-sailor to be rescued during a round-the-world AW stunt  (news.yahoo.com) (71)
(Chicago Tribune)   Chicago area Islamic Center denied building permit for being 810 miles too close to Ground Zero  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (137)
(Some Guy)   Ever get that tingling sensation in the back of your mind? Well, its probably one of these teenagers stabbing you in the back of the skull with a diabetic needle  (newsnet5.com) (37)
(CNN)   Fark-ready story "The FBI has issued a memo warning that a new Barbie doll could be used to make child porn"  (cnn.com) (138)
(MSNBC)   Celebration, FL - the town that Disney built - sees second death less than a week after its very first homicide. It's almost as if it's a real town now or something  (msnbc.msn.com) (69)
(KGOR)   Six-year-old disagrees with mom's music choice...gets dropped off along highway to "learn" a lesson  (kgor.com) (102)
(MSNBC)   Maryland State Highway Administration Lays Banana Peels on DC Beltway in First Live-Action Mario Kart Game Ever  (msnbc.msn.com) (66)
(CSMonitor)   Erskine Bowles, (D-epression) Budget Slasher  (csmonitor.com) (84)
(Some Guy)   So it turns out Julian Assange's warrant for "sexual assault" is actually for "consensual sex without a condom". In other news, the U.S. government can't even orchestrate a decent smear job anymore   (georgewashington2.blogspot.com) (391)
(FARK)   Pop quiz, hotshot. You just were on Fark for the last week and now you can take the quiz to see how many questions about the stories you can answer. WHAT DO YOU DO?  (fark.com) (102)
(Dilbert)   Scott Adams (Dilbert creator) channels his inner Glenn Beck and posts two unsupported "conspiracy theories". 1) Is the stock market being manipulated by computer viruses? 2) Was the Wikileaks fiasco orchestrated by the US gov't?  (dilbert.com) (90)
(Scientific American)   Why schadenfreude hurts so good and why you love it  (scientificamerican.com) (67)
(WLSAM)   Protip: Do not use a power drill as a hair styling tool  (wlsam.com) (39)
(Daily Mail)   Not news: Man has a visit from his girlfriend, News: He kills her and hides her body in his room for three months, Fark: He is still in prison when he does this  (dailymail.co.uk) (61)
(KNXV)   Baptist church listed as hate group. "I do hate homosexuals and if hating homosexuals makes our church a hate group then that's what we are"  (abc15.com) (412)
(Adweek)   The 30 freakiest ads of 2010. Obviously includes informercial for military-grade fart-absorbing blanket  (adweek.blogs.com) (50)
(Some Pissed Off Veteran)   Double amputee veteran charged with stalking poor defenseless Westboro Baptist Church members (tag is for the "stalker")  (ksn.com) (108)
(Celebslam)   Tom Brady is the Clark Griswold of the NFL  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (91)
(Some Guy)   Woman: I have stomach pains. Doctor: I'll do a blood test. Woman: What's wrong? Doctor: You're nine months pregnant. Woman: Oh  (swns.com) (125)
(MSNBC)   Big news: Mexican authorities claim they have successfully captured US-born drug cartel hitman Edgar Jimenez, AKA "El Ponchis". WTFark: he's 14 yrs old  (msnbc.msn.com) (78)
(Some Guy)   You're a dentist on trial for groping your clients. Do you: c) blame it on being a left-handed dentist working in a surgery set up for right-handed people  (swns.com) (40)
(Yahoo)   Top boys' names for 2010 include Aiden, Jayden, Caden and two last names. But don't laugh, girls: Names from "16 and Pregnant" are rising on the female side  (shine.yahoo.com) (731)
(Yahoo)   Chief of Naval Operations, Admiral Roughead says he opposes allowing gays to serve openly in the military because...hang on. Really? "Rough head"?  (news.yahoo.com) (144)
(CNN)   NY state to ban "fracking". Great, all Starbuck has left is drinking and smoking now  (cnn.com) (135)
(The New York Times)   Tell me if you've heard this one before: Persons living in northern areas support persons living in southern areas  (nytimes.com) (117)
(Daily Mail)   Quitting smoking actually improves your mood, say scientists who never tried to quit smoking  (dailymail.co.uk) (68)
(CNN)   South Korea waits at flagpole for Best Korea. Tells everyone he won't dare come fight. With pics of what the deck of a U.S. carrier may look like  (cnn.com) (73)
(Google)   4102 ni gnitrats srac no yrotadnam eb ot saremac pu-kcab raeR  (google.com) (95)
(USA Today)   Obama is still seeking ways to cave in to the GOP on tax cuts for billionaires  (content.usatoday.com) (508)
(Free Press)   Helen Thomas still hasn't learned. "Congress, the White House and Hollywood, Wall Street are owned by the Zionists"  (freep.com) (277)
(Daily Mail)   Cee Lo Green becomes a granddad at 35 and if you judge him for it, well then, f*ck you  (dailymail.co.uk) (105)
(NPR)   Europe's solution to its ballooning debt crisis and impending member-state defaults? BORROW MOAR  (npr.org) (49)
(BBC)   How a dead tramp fooled Hitler, helped win the war and created a 10-82 for Ben Affleck  (bbc.co.uk) (32)
(Alex "Tin Foil Hat" Jones)   Feds watching purchases from credit cards, but because Drew is a big-media CIA puppet, this wont get greenlit  (prisonplanet.com) (29)
(Kent Online)   Woman calls police to report snowman theft. Maybe someone just put an old silk hat on him (with emergency responder call audio goodness)  (kentonline.co.uk) (14)
(NPR)   Happy 50th Birthday, Hello Kitty  (npr.org) (76)
(Telegraph)   Bungling police eat pizzas at crime scene which should have been kept as evidence used in court  (telegraph.co.uk) (51)
(MSNBC)   Antarctic ozone hole smallest in five years, so feel free to break out the CFCs again  (msnbc.msn.com) (67)
(BBC)   Arrest of Julian Assange "imminent" according to Wikileaks  (bbc.co.uk) (453)
(Cracked)   Seven modern dictators way crazier than you thought possible. You already know who's number 1  (cracked.com) (82)
(LA Times)   One question remains, who would answer a phone call from Charles Manson?  (latimes.com) (34)
(Washington Post)   C. Krauthammer: "Where are the intelligence agencies on which we lavish $80 billion a year? Assange has gone missing. Well, he's no cave-dwelling jihadi ascetic. Start with every 5-star hotel in England and work your way down"  (washingtonpost.com) (331)
(MLive.com)   Helicopter county gives little snowflake dogs their own section of the park's "Doggie Playground" to keep them from being intimidated by the big bully dogs. And lo, the whole moon turned blood red, and the stars fell to earth  (mlive.com) (214)
(Pharyngula)   Old and busted: Porn sites hacking your brower. New hotness: Creationist site hacks your browser. Fark: Code comments reveal that the guy who did it for them knows just how stupid his clients are  (scienceblogs.com) (79)
(Salon)   Wikileaks gets Lieberpwnd. Now no one will know that the Ambassador to Togo thinks Faure Gnassingbé's dog farts too much. Bwhhahaha  (salon.com) (65)
(Daily Mail)   The most amazing pictures of "supercell" clouds you are going to see, well ...probably ever  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(Bloomberg)   US government says unemployment at 9.8% for November, which means the real number is still somewhere around 17%  (bloomberg.com) (256)
(The New York Times)   Hey, I've got an idea, let's borrow money to subsidize tax cuts for the rich  (nytimes.com) (258)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop these cameramen on a car  (inapcache.boston.com) (35)
(The Morning Call)   Your pregnant sister is arguing with you about a shirt. Do you: C) knee her in the stomach?  (mcall.com) (66)
(The Sun)   INVISIBLE ART EXHIBIT  (thesun.co.uk) (69)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   After setting house on fire with her husband still inside, woman goes for style points by driving a screwdriver into her chest with a hammer  (startribune.com) (57)
(CNN)   Televangelist admits to extramarital affair. This is not a repeat from just about any year out of the last twenty or so. But hey, at least this time it was with a woman  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (118)
(The Sun)   Mice found in Chinese restaurant's noodles. Great, now EVERYONE'S gonna want them  (thesun.co.uk) (39)
(The Modesto bee)   Soldier just back from Afghanistan suprises his childen at their school. With video goodness...Lotta dust in the air  (modbee.com) (110)
(Jacksonville.com)   Never help the police catch a robber. You'll get fired  (jacksonville.com) (80)
(Some Parade Prep)   Photoshop these green goggles  (s.wsj.net) (20)
(Newsweek)   Amish romance novels becoming more popular. Churn that butter baby  (newsweek.com) (73)
(Some Guy)   Starbucks' 'peppermint white chocolate mocha' contains 700 calories, or about as much as 6 beers  (chron.delish.com) (113)

Thu December 02, 2010
(Daily Mail)   Ugly ass baby panda born at Zoo Atlanta (with plenty of ugly ass pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (19)
(CBC)   ARROWED  (cbc.ca) (117)
(AZCentral)   Frosty the Klansman  (azcentral.com) (238)
(wtsp.com)   Today's neighborhood power blackout caused by massive pot grow house brought to you by Pasco County  (wtsp.com) (67)
(Daily Mail)   Guinness unveils the new hottest pepper in the world. Behold, the merciless peppers of Naga Viper, grown deep in a greenhouse primeval by the inmates of a British insane asylum  (dailymail.co.uk) (179)
(My Fox DC)   Virginia County lifts leg on dog mural  (myfoxdc.com) (44)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this chef with an eye for white truffles  (s.wsj.net) (22)
(NPR)   San Diego County in state of emergency after authorities discover "the largest quantity of homemade explosives found in one location in the history of the United States"  (npr.org) (206)
(CNN)   Welcome to The Happiest Place on Earth™  (cnn.com) (96)
(Some Guy)   Google and YouTube have banned Alex Jones, says Alex Jones in a YouTube video  (enews-press.com) (165)
(Chicago Tribune)   Remember how as a kid you and your family would pile into the station wagon and drive to a Christmas tree lot to pick out a holiday tree? Yeah, that tradition is about to be killed off thanks to the internet  (chicagotribune.com) (176)
(Fox News)   TSA busts rapper Kurtis Blow for "an anomaly" in his pants  (foxnews.com) (105)
(Discover)   Yes, the NASA news is about bacteria that live off arsenic. But for once, here's the actual science and why this is so cool  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (156)
(Press-Enterprise)   Controversial mosque in Temecula approved, despite it being only 2,800 miles from Ground Zero  (pe.com) (168)
(NPR)   Global warming brings socialist paradise to its knees. Hm, no wonder liberals are so scared of climate change  (npr.org) (192)
(The New York Times)   Wikileaks cables: Canada is "condemned to play Robin to America's Batman." Unclear whether they meant the Burt Ward version or the Chris O'Donnell one  (nytimes.com) (164)
(Washington Post)   Newt Gingrich warns GOP members that they need to at least pretend to care about Latinos  (washingtonpost.com) (113)
(WorldNetDaily)   Hey, remember that mystery missile? The one from a few weeks ago? No? Neither does the Department of Defense  (wnd.com) (152)
(ABC News)   Unfortunately for the kid being pummelled in class, school policy prohibits teachers from intervening in a fight until they've had 'training'  (abcnews.go.com) (133)
(Yahoo)   Wikileaks reveals "Axis of Mischief", countries caught TPing the US's lawn and putting a flaming bag of dog poop on its porch  (news.yahoo.com) (38)
(Daily Mail)   Today's "shocking" Wikileaks news: Putin knew of poisoning plot of former KGB agent in London. Well, duh  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(Some Guy, Eh?)   Taking a cab home from a late night at a bar? In Canada, that's now a DUI  (bclocalnews.com) (149)
(Chicago Tribune)   Illinois to allow gay people to experience the misery of marriage. Except you can't call it marriage. Call it a civil union, OK?  (chicagotribune.com) (364)
(Palm Beach Post)   Stabbing your boyfriend with a fondue fork is just cheesy  (palmbeachpost.com) (22)
(The New York Times)   Forest fire in Israel kills at least 40. Fire blamed on the yews  T-Shirt  (nytimes.com) (271)
(YouTube)   You're doing it wrong, but so, so right  (youtube.com) (240)
(Boston Herald)   Expelled for corruption, Boston city councilor blames the Irish  (bostonherald.com) (65)
(Shreveport Times)   Woman arrested for having three husbands. Her mugshot will make you wonder how she ever got the first one  (shreveporttimes.com) (66)
(Fox News)   CJCS Adm Mullen to troops: "If you can't serve with gays, then GTFO"  (foxnews.com) (490)
(SacBee)   Three teenage boys arrested for choking the chickens  (sacbee.com) (46)
(Independent)   Queen of Sweden gets visit from Lord Godwin  (independent.co.uk) (74)
(Chicago Tribune)   Your disaster funds at work: $79,000 in aid money used by Chicago Board President to throw a picnic party at the zoo  (articles.chicagotribune.com) (37)
(ABC News)   Man who was intentionally injected with AIDS at just 11 months old by his own dad is now an AIDS activist  (abcnews.go.com) (112)
(CBS 46 Atlanta)   Family dog survives the night buried in rubble after a tornado made the woof cave in  (cbsatlanta.com) (32)
(BBC)   Russia (2018) and Qatar (2022) pay off enough delegates to host the World Cup  (news.bbc.co.uk) (405)
(AFP)   One possible reason North Korea hasn't lobbed any more shells at the South? Sat photos reveal that the North got its ass kicked when the South shot back  (news.yahoo.com) (226)
(Government Technology)   Fort Wayne, Ind. residents recycle so little the city will actually save $2 million by eliminating recycle bins. With photo of what a bin may look like  (govtech.com) (84)
(National Post)   Serial killer wanted to offer each of his victims' parents $50,000, but the chairman at the parole hearing thought that might be inappropriate   (fullcomment.nationalpost.com) (24)
(Washington Post)   Michael Vick completely reformed and totally cares about the welfare of animals now  (washingtonpost.com) (180)
(Yahoo)   Tea Party favorite Jim DeMint (R-SC) says that Obama will cave and give him the deficit-inflating millionaire tax cut he's looking for  (news.yahoo.com) (441)
(Philly)   I'm not sure what is stranger: Prince William is having a bachelor party, or that Snoop Dogg is dedicating his next single to it  (philly.com) (19)
(azfamily.com)   Good: Woman loses 428 lbs through gastric bypass surgery. Bad: She lost so much weight her excess skin got infected  (azfamily.com) (98)
(Kare11)   Farmer tilts windmill, with unfortunate results  (kare11.com) (12)
(Chicago Tribune)   When all else fails, C) Grab the cop tasering you and take him along for the ride  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (41)
(Some Nanny Stater)   Photoshop this woman and her goat   (bloximages.chicago2.vip.townnews.com) (20)
(Some Aunt)   A little update on Caleb, DIT. Link goes to last full update from HelpCaleb.com  (helpcaleb.com) (51)
(wtsp.com)   Elderly woman wanted to hit the post office before it closed. Success  (wtsp.com) (21)
(Reuters)   It's that time of year again - snow, holiday decorations, Christmas tree lights powered by eels, that giving spirit...wait, go back to the eel thing  (reuters.com) (30)
(Abc.net.au)   Middle manager at dole office: "No nativity scenes". Minister for Human Services: "Report for counselling, grinch"  (abc.net.au) (94)
(AOL News)   Hopes and dreams and wishes and rainbows and magic and a really thick porterhouse steak  (aolnews.com) (15)
(The Local (Sweden))   Sunbathing is currently: *flips coin* good for you  (thelocal.se) (104)
(MetroWest Daily News)   With pic of what a suspect who just swallowed a bag of cocaine may look like  (metrowestdailynews.com) (90)
(Examiner)   Security cameras log robbers who go out on a limb to stick up branch of Shell  (abclocal.go.com) (16)
(Some Boondoggle)   It has come to this: a federal government website is needed to encourage kids to go out and play  (letsmove.gov) (234)
(News.com.au)   Attention students, the head mistress will be giving sex educations tests personally, in your tent....while naked  (news.com.au) (91)
(Some Guy)   Men buy women gifts they want for themselves (with Fark-friendly illustration)  (swns.com) (381)
(STV.tv)   Holiday theatre show for kids becomes a lot more educational after a porn star is unwittingly added to the cast  (entertainment.stv.tv) (32)
(The Smoking Gun)   Substitute teacher who was caught masturbating to the SI swimsuit issue in the Walmart toy department has been banned from the store forever  (thesmokinggun.com) (95)
(My Fox DC)   Walk. Don't Walk. Go f*ck yourself  (myfoxdc.com) (60)
(Huffington Post)   Death penalty may be ruled unconstitutional in Texas. That whole putting someone to death without actually committing the crime somehow upsets some people  (huffingtonpost.com) (553)
(SFGate)   Samuel Cohen, inventor of the neutron bomb and who helped work on the atomic bomb, dies, as cancer finally takes atoll on him  (sfgate.com) (76)
(Fox News)   "Personal foul: Illegal use of Touchdown Jesus. 15-yard penalty to be assessed on the kickoff"  (foxnews.com) (245)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop Father Frost  (spiegel.de) (26)
(WIVB)   "Sea of corn" allegedly pushes home off foundation. If only there were a kernel of truth to this story  (wivb.com) (36)
(WWSB ABC 7)   Restaurant has a pigeon problem, do you: C) poison the birds and let your customers watch them die a slow death  (mysuncoast.com) (99)
(Denver Post)   In the "we can all sleep better tonight" files, Denver police remotely detonated a toy robot glued to a pillar base to "render it safe"  (denverpost.com) (76)
(Live Science)   Enjoy sleeping around? So did your mom  (livescience.com) (114)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 291: "The Song Remains the Same." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (148)

Wed December 01, 2010
(The Morning Call)   Amazingly, the right to grab your nurse's ass doesn't appear anywhere on the Patients' Bill of Rights  (mcall.com) (49)
(AFP)   Lee Harvey Oswald's coffin going up for auction - remember, you only get one shot at this  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (78)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this protective position  (spiegel.de) (40)
(NPR)   This is your brain. This is your brain on a dozen fried eggs, seven pieces of toast, eleven pancakes topped with butter, whipped cream, syrup, and 23 pieces of bacon. And that's before you go back for seconds  (npr.org) (107)
(Mother Nature Network)   If your child's father is frequently out of the picture, you can buy a life-sized, two-dimensional poster of the dad to keep your child connected. Place in front of TV and throw in some empty beer cans for extra-realness  (mnn.com) (58)
(CNN)   Yahoo's most searched term in 2010 is Oil Spill. That's a silly name for a porno  (cnn.com) (53)
(Some Guy)   TIN FOIL HAT TIME. DHS is now spying on Alex Jones and Matt Drudge  (prisonplanet.com) (179)
(CNN)   Fed makes a cool $9 trillion recouping the socialist/fascist loans given to banks during the financial crisis. Yay capitalism  (money.cnn.com) (325)
(LA Times)   "In today's world, an arena with corn on it is less interesting by the year"  (latimes.com) (69)
(Some Guy)   What's worse than having a colony of bees inside your home? Two colonies of bees fighting to the death with each other inside your home  (wsvn.com) (75)
(Network World)   Amazon cries Uncle Sam, gives Wikileaks the boot  (networkworld.com) (157)
(Bitten and Bound)   It now takes 30,000 energy efficient LED lights on the Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree to get the same effect that 15,000 regular bulbs once produce. (pics, vid)  (bittenandbound.com) (238)
(CNN)   Creationists to build "full scale" replica of Noah's Ark (with picture of what Noah's subcontractors may have looked like)  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (411)
(The Tennessean)   Welcome Back Jesus party will be held on 5/21/2011. BYOB  (tennessean.com) (164)
(Some Paranoid Guy)   Renowned prophet predicts WW3 will begin in November 2010. Korea teetering on the brink of war due to November incident. Coincidence? Subby unsure but now has 'survival bunker' at the top of his Christmas list  (alamongordo.com) (167)
(Some Guy)   US radio talk show host offers $50,000 for capture of Wikileaks founder  (schnittshow.com) (430)
(Government Technology)   New site invites users to bare their arms and upload shirtless pictures of themselves for browsers to rate and share via e-mail and social media. Is this C) a National Guard website  (govtech.com) (54)
(Washington Post)   Activist judge hates beets  (washingtonpost.com) (98)
(Some Guy)   Tractor covers picturesque pub in manure. Landlord is steaming  (swns.com) (30)
(Cracked)   Six insane conspiracies hiding behind non-profit groups  (cracked.com) (166)
(MSNBC)   America's Editorial Cartoonists can only remember one Leslie Nielsen joke  (cartoonblog.msnbc.msn.com) (148)
(LA Times)   Homeless vet: I found $981. Here. Bus agency: It's yours if no one claims it. Bus agency: Actually we're keeping the $882 as per policy. LA Times Columnist: O RLY?  (latimes.com) (172)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this floral fashion  (spiegel.de) (17)
(National Post)   Americans face "insidious negative popular stereotyping" in Canada, according to gun-toting, cowboy-hat-wearing U.S. embassy officials who pay too much for healthcare   (fullcomment.nationalpost.com) (211)
(CNN)   Senate Republicans vow to block all bills. This is not a repeat from 2007, 2008, 2009 or 2010  (cnn.com) (546)
(Groupon)   Anybody need a cat drawn for them? Subby bought 2. (LGT the best groupon ever)  (groupon.com) (138)
(Des Moines Register)   Good news for those of you who were craving a daily dose of salmonella  (desmoinesregister.com) (43)
(Some Guy)   Three teens decide to vandalize an ATM and forget about that pesky video surveillance thingy inside it. With mugshot-like stills from the video  (1035superx.com) (68)
(Some Guy)   Woman goes into labour in traffic jam. The blocked junction was promptly cleared  (swns.com) (24)
(Connecticut Post)   You smoke some bad pot and see demons in your house. Do you a) give it a few days, b) see a priest, or c) burn hats by your house to drive them away?  (ctpost.com) (73)
(Palm Beach Post)   I have some good, and bad news for you if you have a Florida drivers license. The good new is you may soon be getting some money from the state. The bad new is the DMV sold any personal information they have on you to a marketing firm  (palmbeachpost.com) (48)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Indiana furniture store owner who planned on selling fallen Marine's wares and memorabilia will return the items to her family, return to a home and business untouched by fire  (suntimes.com) (103)
(wsbt)   Meteorologist arrested on two counts of false reporting. Imagine that, a weatherman giving the wrong info  (wsbt.com) (30)
(Yahoo)   Federal judge dismisses Obamacare suit. Now we all have to buy suits too?  (news.yahoo.com) (228)
(JSOnline)   It's rude to take a phone call during sex. It's even ruder to kill someone for taking a phone call during sex  (jsonline.com) (59)
(Think Progress)   Congratulations prudes, you've taken down another art exhibition, this time at the Smithsonian. Next up: covering up all the Titians  (thinkprogress.org) (297)
(Huffington Post)   Britney Spears tells Jason Alexander about being abused by boyfriend. Jason Alexander responds by telling Britney about the time he mistakenly poisoned his fiance with cheap envelopes  (huffingtonpost.com) (132)
(WTOP)   Conservative lawmaker says airport pat-downs by the TSA are part of a "wide-scale homosexual agenda." What's this guy got up his ass?  (wtop.com) (120)
(NewsOK)   Fark ready headline: "In bra, panties and wheelchair, woman goes through Oklahoma City airport screening this morning" and then it gets weird  (newsok.com) (85)
(Some Guy)   Company launches the world's largest underpants for women. With handy "whoa mama" size illustration  (swns.com) (53)
(Yahoo)   AP follow-up finds the "crushing blows" the DEA often claims to strike against drug cartels after mass arrests and seizures, turn out to be more like love taps in terms of disrupting their operations  (news.yahoo.com) (33)
(Some Guy)   "What really screams out from all these very much undiplomatic cables is how little Obama ever really broke from the Bush doctrine"  (esquire.com) (212)
(YouTube)   For all the Jewish Farkers out there - Happy Hanukkah...? Chanukah?  (youtube.com) (94)
(The New York Times)   What lands Julian Assange on Interpol's most-wanted Red List? A) Leaked classified documents; B) The mere existence of Wikileaks; C) Roethlisberger-esque sexual assault charges  (nytimes.com) (289)
(Life.com)   55 years ago today, one woman refused to sit in the back of the bus. RIP, Miss Rosa  (life.com) (179)
(Denver Channel)   Firefighters remove toddler trapped in washing machine, promptly stuff him in the dryer for 15 minutes on light fluff  (thedenverchannel.com) (39)
(Orlando Sentinel)   As Florida braces for its first cold snap, People turn to Websters and Wikipedia to understand words like "coat", "gloves", and "What's that misty stuff coming out of my mouth?"  (orlandosentinel.com) (115)
(News.com.au)   Not news: Girl ties shoelace. Fark: And hospitalises 41 people  (news.com.au) (139)
(Washington Post)   After 40 years someone finally realizes it isn't illegal in Virginia to pass a stopped school bus  (washingtonpost.com) (117)
(Denver Post)   Mom and dad: "Don't tow our baby" Tow truck driver: "whatev's." Mom and dad: "No, seriously, our baby is in there"  (denverpost.com) (82)
(GSA Auctions)   Do your Christmas shopping online, with the Feds. How about 1,000 used nail clippers? Wonder where they got them from  (gsaauctions.gov) (29)
(Some Guy)   Queensland Times prints a picture of a guy making out with a five-year-old that he just married  (brisbanetimes.com.au) (73)
(AOL News)   In the spirit of the holiday season, volunteers have knitted nearly 100 sweaters for the needy. And by "needy" we mean "chickens"  (aolnews.com) (7)
(Beaver County Times)   Old and busted: "The devil made me do it". New hotness: "The Pepsi machine at Costco made me do it"  (timesonline.com) (17)
(BusinessWeek)   Stomach fat may threaten women's bones. Husband's bone deemed lost cause  (businessweek.com) (41)
(My Fox DC)   In that gray area somewhere between trailer-park and one-bedroom studio, there's this  (myfoxdc.com) (91)
(USA Today)   "No indicators that Wisconsin student was distressed" aside from the whole taking a classroom hostage and then shooting himself in the head part  (usatoday.com) (14)
(The Register)   Soil Ass. calls for more use of ass soil  (theregister.co.uk) (17)
(AP) NewsFlash Tom Brady diagnosed with Alopecia. Your prayers are needed  (hosted.ap.org) (194)
(Some Guy)   Cops raid Rio gang headquarters, seize 11 tons of marijuana, arsenal of weapons, giant Justin Bieber mural. Wait, what?  (1035thebeat.com) (31)
(Fox News)   Flush with confidence after banning Four Loko, legislators take aim at whipped cream laced with alcohol  (foxnews.com) (59)
(nine msn)   While sitting at his computer, Australian man killed by a reptile dysfunction  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (62)
(NW Florida Daily News)   It's rare that a prosecutor can grill a man accused of shoplifting steaks in his pants and get the jury to convict him. Well done  (nwfdailynews.com) (13)
(MLive.com)   The law finally catches up with Lando Calrissian  (mlive.com) (82)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop the lady and the cat  (hotimg23.fotki.com) (28)
(Gothamist)   Ballsy Long Island fire chief now feeling blue after getting sacked for BumperNuts  (gothamist.com) (48)
(Abc.net.au)   Looking for that xmas gift for the man who has everything? One aircraft carrier for sale, previous owner British Navy  (abc.net.au) (97)
(CTV)   Pimpin' is apparently easier than we thought  (ctv.ca) (31)
(The New York Times)   For five months, starting today, when you call an ambulance in Manhattan a second one will be sent out. Waiting, ominously hidden in the shadows, to harvest your organs  (nytimes.com) (112)
(Some grinning criminal)   In a desperate bid to reclaim the crime capital title recently lost to St. Louis, Newark lays off 14% of its police force  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (48)
(News.com.au)   I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure that it's against the rules to use fireworks, bottles, and stones in a snowball fight  (news.com.au) (37)
(3 News New Zealand)   I'm not sure anyone needs 250GB of Playboy, but it sure beats having 650 magazines being delivered to your house at once  (3news.co.nz) (117)
(Quad City Times)   Mother encourages her son to burn things in the microwave and post the results on YouTube, which she would post on her Facebook to earn money. Flash foward to today, when the kid is charged with arson  (qctimes.com) (63)
(National Post)   Hipsters nationwide join Major League Dreidel, compete for prizes at the Spinagogue under stage names of Spindiana Jones, Goy Wonder, Spinona Ryder, and so on while swigging Jewish-themed microbrews  (nationalpost.com) (58)
(National Geographic)   OM nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom nom  (blogs.nationalgeographic.com) (227)

Tue November 30, 2010
(Gawker)   Speedos: not gay enough. Sling Bikinis for men: too gay. Mankinis: Just gay enough  (gawker.com) (136)
(Gizmodo)   Google Maps angers Iranians for showing them something they haven't noticed since 1979  (gizmodo.com) (141)
(WLSAM)   FBI on the lookout for Bobby Hill disguised as Carrot Top. (w/ pics)  (wlsam.com) (45)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this procedural practice  (bigpicture.ru) (12)
(Daily Mail)   Boss orders female staff to wear red bracelets when on their periods. Bloody hell  (dailymail.co.uk) (170)
(Reuters)   10 reasons why the International Climate Negotiations in Cancun will fail. Diplomats and enviromental activists getting wasted at Senor Frogs, suspiciously absent  (reuters.com) (43)
(NYPost)   In the event of a terrorist bombing of the PATH train tunnels under the Hudson River, massive metal doors will seal off NYC and protect it from the threat of New Jersey  (nypost.com) (46)
(WFTV)   Memo to self: Do not call NASA's mission control during a space shuttle launch to see if they have Prince Albert in a can  (wftv.com) (57)
(Talking Points Memo)   Eric Cantor (R-VA) likes Virginia's plan to party like it's 1777  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (379)
(The New York Times)   The mystery of the red bees of Red Hook has finally been solved. So you can go back to sleeping at night  (nytimes.com) (35)
(ABC News)   Ugly-ass cheetah cub born at San Diego zoo. It's an entire ugly-ass slideshow  (abcnews.go.com) (24)
(ABC News)   Patient: -.- .. .-.. .-.. / -- . Doctor: No  (abcnews.go.com) (204)
(Time)   Parents: ruining kids' self-esteem starting in infancy  (healthland.time.com) (51)
(CNN)   Pentagon: Letting openly gay troops serve won't hurt, at least not after the first couple of times  T-Shirt  (cnn.com) (62)
(MSNBC)   "Kinect sex - what's the hold up?"  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com) (77)
(NPR)   Rhode Island town trying to unravel the mystery of who the hell installed 700 stop signs without any approval. "Drivers should not take this as a free pass. A stop sign is a stop sign"  (npr.org) (105)
(KMOV St. Louis)   Life in St. Louis imitates Grand Theft Auto IV: 4 shot at funeral home service for man who was shot to death last week  (kmov.com) (143)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Man finds gold star banner, dog tags, and burial flag of first servicewoman killed in Afghanistan and selflessly gives it to mourning family. Just kidding, he's selling them to the highest bidder  (suntimes.com) (263)
(YouTube)   In honor of Wednesday's kick off of Hanukkah here's "Eight Days of Hanukkah" written and performed by Sen. Orrin Hatch  (youtube.com) (31)
(CNN)   Newsflash: People serving in combat only care if their battle buddies can shoot straight. Being straight? Not really a big deal  (cnn.com) (185)
(Government Technology)   New government cyber-security center opens, which would have been helpful about a week ago  (govtech.com) (21)
(savethewhales)   The whales have a new ally against the Japanese. Godzilla  (grindtv.com) (142)
(Yahoo)   80 percent of Americans believe we should cut the budget to reduce the deficit, just so long as we don't touch the two biggest, and fastest growing, line-items  (news.yahoo.com) (195)
(CNN)   If you had your money on the female police chief in Mexico getting offed by the drug cartels, please step forward and collect your pesos  (cnn.com) (106)
(CBC)   Scrubbing toilets makes yoga students one with the universe, most forms of bacteria  (cbc.ca) (14)
(Mother Nature Network)   The reason why the themes from movies like "Psycho" and "Jaws" are so scary is because they excite your inner marmot  (mnn.com) (36)
(Flickr)   Hail Caledonia, Scottish Farkers. Photoshop this kilted caber tosser to celebrate November 30th  (flickr.com) (25)
(My Fox DC)   Watch for a halo around the moon? No. Monitor the cloud formations? Nah. Look at historical data? Uh-uh. Caterpillars? Oh yeah  (myfoxdc.com) (14)
(KNBC 4 Los Angeles)   News: Man caught having sex under a bridge. Fark: With a dog  (nbclosangeles.com) (74)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Casey Anthony photobucket to be entered into evidence. Why yes, there is a slideshow. Bonus: you'll shiat bricks when you see it  (orlandosentinel.com) (244)
(Telegraph)   It's time for the annual badly written sex-in-fiction awards. "Like a lepidopterist mounting a tough-skinned insect with a too blunt pin he screwed himself into her"  (telegraph.co.uk) (31)
(Yahoo)   Not news: Woman gets in auto accident. News: Rescue crews were required to get her free. Fark: From the top of the tree her truck landed in  (news.yahoo.com) (21)
(Some Guy)   Protip: If you are robbing a Mexican bakery, watch out for the lady pitching a hot, gooey pastry at your head  (lcsun-news.com) (17)
(Some Guy)   Last minute Indianapolis Fark Party tonight, O'Reilly's on Penn  (oreillysirishbar.com) (46)
(Gamma Squad)   Swedish man swallows a capsule-sized audio device to turn himself into human jukebox, will be impersonating Coldplay later by crapping out music  (gammasquad.uproxx.com) (30)
(FARK)   Headline of the Year contest update, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 11/21 - 11/27  (fark.com) (20)
(The Smoking Gun)   Guy at Harry Potter Movie: "Engorgio. Spankus monkius." Police: "ARRESTO"  T-Shirt  (thesmokinggun.com) (89)
(Some Guy)   Nobel winning economist Stiglitz: "We have to throw bankers in jail or the economy won't recover"  (businessinsider.com) (296)
(Boston Globe)   Shocking development: Holiday parties and drinking can sometimes result in people making asses of themselves. Article to the left, your personal tales of red-faced holiday shenanigans to the right  (boston.com) (186)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Two arrested for shoplifting $2600 worth of goods by concealing them "under their belly fat and breasts"  (orlandosentinel.com) (105)
(Some Guy)   When most men sit on the toilet playing with their gun until it fires off, it's just a figure of speech  (sheboyganpress.com) (32)
(Philly)   There are better ways to make an impression on your old classmates at your 20th reunion than by getting so drunk you get arrested. "He had one too many cocktails"  (philly.com) (30)
(Some Guy)   Passengers soon allowed guns on most Amtrak trains. This can't end well  (ksdk.com) (282)
(NBCDFW)   Texas not sharing its Lethal Injection Drug with other states that have run out  (nbcdfw.com) (57)
(CNNGo)   Pics from the annual Monkey Buffet Festival in Thailand. The happiest monkeys you'll see today  (cnngo.com) (28)
(Springfield News-Leader)   Drunk-to-keep-warm defense works in DWI trial  (news-leader.com) (35)
(MSNBC)   South celebrates Civil War, largely without slaves. Wait, largely?  (msnbc.msn.com) (338)
(AP)   Article doesn't specify whether charges will be filed against the driver or against the alligator in deadly crash  (hosted.ap.org) (10)
(Some Guy)   A New Jersey man completes his quest to have the most killer Christmas light display on his block  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (30)
(Daily Mail)   Email sent by teacher who criticizes student reads like a 4 AM comment that Drew doesn't remember typing  (dailymail.co.uk) (51)
(Some Relieved Guy)   TSA fondles man to "completion", throws him to ground, handcuffs him, arrests him for sexual assault on agent. LOL WUT?  (urbanswirl.com) (134)
(Discover)   Everyone who owns the Sun take one step forward. Not so fast, Senorita  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (32)
(Daily Mail)   After investigating the bloody murder scene for eight hours, police conclude that this is, in fact the handiwork of Corey Haim  (dailymail.co.uk) (27)
(The New York Times)   NY Times: trolls are "the unsung heroes of the Internet"  (nytimes.com) (137)
(Kansas.com)   You haven't had a cigarette in two days and are suffering from a major nic fit. Do you: A) Chew some gum? B) Go jogging? C) Repeatedly call 911 with bogus stories of death and destruction?  (kansas.com) (40)
(The Smoking Gun)   Never talk with your mouth full  (thesmokinggun.com) (105)
(Some Guy)   Wild animal makes for 'boar'-ing commute as two gas hogs hit it. One vehicle goes airborne for 300 feet. You never sausage carnage. Rescue efforts took a lot of guts  (wcax.com) (33)
(Some Guy)   Not News: Woman oversharged for pizza. News: by $2,600. FARK: Pizzeria owner offers her a full refund... .. for the $30 pizza  (y100.com) (150)
(CNN)   Holiday Tipping Guide: The god damn garbage man? My kids teacher? Are they serious?  (money.cnn.com) (536)
(CBS 46 Atlanta)   Now your kids are getting high off nutmeg, so thanks for the hookup on that pumpkin pie  (cbsatlanta.com) (139)
(WSB-TV)   Escalator in subway station suddenly accelerates, dumping dozens of passengers into a pile on the platform. Inspectors have shut down the escalator, presumably to reward it for giving them such a good laugh  (wsbtv.com) (51)
(Network World)   Shameless porn producers sticking it to embarrassed file sharers  (networkworld.com) (108)
(Some Guy)   Your tax dollars at work: NOAA uses only the latest and best graphics programs to illustrate its weather maps  (srh.noaa.gov) (50)
(Breitbart.com)   Wikileaks documents show that China was 'scared to death' of Nancy Pelosi. See? They're more like us than we think  (breitbart.com) (73)
(Telegraph)   Environmentalists in an uproar over bear meat goulash due to it tasting like pooh  (telegraph.co.uk) (47)
(Reno Gazette-Journal)   Apparently when you get your mugshot taken in Nevada they hang you upside-down to do it  (rgj.com) (17)
(MSNBC)   Don't you just hate it when the police arrest you and forward the home made sex videos from your cell phone to theirs?  (msnbc.com) (60)
(The News & Observer (NC))   Mental patient swallows 67 different things. What is he, some kind of...oh  (newsobserver.com) (52)
(WTSP 10 News)   Student Googles himself, finds he's accused of murder  (wtsp.com) (95)
(Yahoo)   Video from CCA prison in Idaho captures three guards sitting in thier booth watching as one prisoner beats another unconscious, sits down to take a breather, and then gets up to continue beating him into a coma  (news.yahoo.com) (180)
(Washington Post)   One thing the latest Wikileaks information dump has definitely done is demonstrate that Bush's memoir is almost exclusively a work of fiction  (washingtonpost.com) (115)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this classical beauty  (i293.photobucket.com) (29)
(AOL News)   BS: Man finds that prayers are answered when Jesus sends him a ice meteorite. Unbelievable BS: Claims ice meteorite contains extraterrestrial life and will reveal all at the Ramada Inn  (aolnews.com) (119)
(KTLA)   Man charged with dropping anchor on moving cruise ship, says he was drunk at the time  (ktla.com) (65)
(MSNBC)   No more grain alcohol in North Carolina ABC stores, Duke students to form special customer group to order it as "industrial solvent"  (msnbc.msn.com) (98)
(Houston Press)   10 best beers discovered in last 12 months. Oh no, not another "Kilt Lifter" Scotch ale  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (119)
(USA Today)   Road fatalities involving animals broken down by State. Texas wins  (usatoday.com) (118)
(New York Daily News)   Student receives current grades and good attendance reports from NYC public school. FARK: He hasn't been there since last year  (nydailynews.com) (52)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this golden woman  (freefoto.com) (35)
(ABC News)   Federal Government does not approve of ALL CAPS street signs. Cities told to change them to Mixed Case  (abcnews.go.com) (221)

Mon November 29, 2010
(Western Herald)   "Texting while driving can result in death, fines." You'd think death would be sufficient punishment on its own  (westernherald.com) (92)
(Daily Mail)   Female British soldiers banned from frontline combat because men might die trying to save them  (dailymail.co.uk) (434)
(Wired)   Wall Street is betting they can break the bank yet again  (wired.com) (45)
(Some Guy)   Ninety four percent of University of Kansas students have taken alcohol classes while 100% of UGA students knew how to drink properly before finishing high school  (ksn.com) (80)
(Fox News)   Armed student holding classroom hostage in Wisconsin  (foxnews.com) (386)
(Some Guy)   Small town in Wisconsin gets $50,000 to repair trees damaged in a tornado. That will buy a lot of wood glue  (lacrossetribune.com) (19)
(CNN)   When choosing a location for your dream home, it's always best to check for lurking meth labs. In your new basement  (cnn.com) (51)
(WLSAM)   Obama invites the CEO of Walmart to the White House to give him some advice on how to run the company better  (wlsam.com) (86)
(Some Copyright Guy)   Were it not for activist judges, the first issue of Playboy would be in the public domain on Jan. 1  (gutenbergnews.org) (166)
(MSNBC)   President of Kenya: "It is 'madness' for two men to fall in love with each other when a recent census showed there were 'plenty of women' in the country." And you Americans elected this guy?  T-Shirt  (msnbc.msn.com) (132)
(IndyStar)   A man who wants comic books censored says Superman is a crypto-fascist and there's way too much "homoerotic tendencies" in Batman and Robin  (indystar.com) (154)
(Houston Chronicle)   1997: Harry Potter encourages kids to practice witchcraft. 2010: Harry Potter is a good Christian  (chron.com) (170)
(Some Guy)   How to pick a great low-cost Christmas gift. Tip #1: If your grandma loves applique sweaters, you buy her the damned applique sweater, even if you're a snobby hipster who wouldn't be caught dead in one  (houmatoday.com) (51)
(Daily Mail)   Woman discovers live giant Egyptian grasshopper in salad bag, finds it a good home  (dailymail.co.uk) (58)
(CBC)   Blind woman successfully sues the Canadian federal government to allow her Seeing Eye dog access to government on-line job websites  (cbc.ca) (60)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this cold consumer  (online.wsj.com) (19)
(CBC)   "Children's eating disorders jump in the US", but not very high  (cbc.ca) (93)
(Daily Mail)   In an event that had absolutely nothing to do with the CIA, two Iranian nuclear scientists switch to particle physics  (dailymail.co.uk) (156)
(Some Guy)   Good: getting an interception in an NFL game. Really impressive: by catching the ball between your legs (Cuervo Cue Moment of the Week)  (nfl.com) (124)
(Yahoo)   The latest attack by an Afghan Border Police trainee, that left six NATO soldiers dead, prove once again the most dangerous people in Afghanistan are the ones claiming to be on our side  (news.yahoo.com) (64)
(Telegraph)   It's cute when your dog does this on the couch. It's sad when a baby elephant does it in a ditch  (telegraph.co.uk) (68)
(Yahoo)   The John Birch society, a paranoid ultra-right group driven from the mainstream of the GOP by its last true intellectual, William F Buckley, is making a comeback thanks to the Tea Party movement  (news.yahoo.com) (283)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   Politician guilty on corruption charges has one request for the judge before he's sentenced: A trip to Las Vegas  (cleveland.com) (19)
(Wired)   Wikileaks cables show that American diplomats were tasked to collect the DNA of foreign diplomats. Giggity  (wired.com) (269)
(Kitsap Sun)   Covert semi-trucks are transporting 1,000 nuclear warheads across the United States. Glad they kept this a secret  (kitsapsun.com) (132)
(The Union Leader)   After a host of complaints, NH town reverses ordinance so that residents are once again allowed to pick through the trash at the dump  (unionleader.com) (54)
(The Wrath of Buzz)   Come back after the commercial break, when Buzz Aldrin makes the crew eat Moon rocks while he accepts an "apology" from the Asian gal  (cinemablend.com) (237)
(Stuff)   New Zealand's Broadcasting authority rules in favour of topless 16 year olds  (stuff.co.nz) (121)
(Some Guy)   TSA screeners act like boobs, hassle mother over breast milk. Oh the huge mammaries  (menwithfoilhats.com) (102)
(Pop Matters)   How is meme formed?  (popmatters.com) (94)
(LA Times)   Since 2007 when a mandatory reporting law was passed, nearly 90 California hospitals have made no errors at all. Which is odd, since virtuous scientists and public serving self sacrificing doctors have no motive to lie to the public. Ever  (articles.latimes.com) (52)
(News.com.au)   Panicky pilot causes Indian passenger jet to plunge 6,000 feet, leaving Hindu passengers up in arms  T-Shirt  (news.com.au) (87)
(Yahoo)   It wouldn't be the Christmas Season® without the obligatory "cost of the items in the 12 Days of Christmas" article. Costs are up over 10% from last year at just under $100,000 because homeless people ate all the partridges  (news.yahoo.com) (33)
(Life.com)   Note to NATO troops: If you feel you have to scrawl "I am the Law" in Arabic on your helmet in order to maintain order while on patrol, it's probably already too late  (life.com) (74)
(The New York Times)   "The [TSA] pat-down story was the equivalent of vaporware - it seemed as if something huge was about to happen, but it turned out that it was a story about a story, the noisy, fervent sound of a news system feeding on itself"  (nytimes.com) (107)
(My Fox DC)   Hangover Helpers is a business that delivers breakfast burritos and Gatorade while cleaning up your house the morning after a party, and is no way a pot dealer  (myfoxdc.com) (27)
(Engadget)   Amazing news: Research scientists develop process that literally reverses aging in mice and likely will do the same for humans. Obvious news: Like all good things in life, the process gives you cancer  (engadget.com) (74)
(Yahoo)   Have a friend or relative who sucks at picking out gifts for you? Convince them to shop at Amazon, where their new "gift conversion system" will automatically intercept their gift and send you an equivalent gift certificate instead  (news.yahoo.com) (58)
(Crooks & Liars)   News Corp contracts North Korean web developer; Sarah Palin doesn't see any problem with that  (crooksandliars.com) (76)
(Philly)   Traffic stop yields 26 pound seizure of cocaine after probable cause to search was determined by... **Spins wheel**,,, Rubber bands  (philly.com) (112)
(WSB-TV)   Woman dies after being found bleeding face-down on her front lawn, with her pants and underwear a few feet away. Investigators: "Looks accidental to us"  (wsbtv.com) (58)
(Beatcalls)   ♫ Beans, beans, the musical fruit. The more you eat, the more you want to throw them and a bottle of cologne at your husband ♫  (beatcalls.com) (13)
(CNN)   Roof collapses on Salvation Army store in Colorado. THAT'S WHAT YOU GET FOR RINGING THAT GODDAMN BELL NONSTOP YOU A$$HOLES  (edition.cnn.com) (143)
(Telegraph)   Exclusive footage of life inside North Korea  (telegraph.co.uk) (345)
(albany herald)   New car stolen off the showroom floor quickly runs out gas. Car and thief both left fuming  (albanyherald.com) (27)
(CNN)   Despite all the email ads you were bombarded with this weekend, there is no Cyber Monday  (cnn.com) (64)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop this staring shooter  (cache.boston.com) (25)
(11 Alive)   I hope you're sitting down for this one: World's busiest airport is busy on the Sunday after Thanksgiving  (11alive.com) (28)
(Boston Globe)   With firms posting record third quarter profits and now seven consecutive quarters of growth, US workers are still awaiting that rising tide  (boston.com) (152)
(Mother Nature Network)   Before you set up your home for Christmas this year, make sure you do a feng shui evaluation of your living room and your Christmas tree to make sure they can co-exist  (mnn.com) (28)
(AOL News)   University of Maryland to field new sports team--in competitive eating. Great, another sport that will be dominated by the SEC  T-Shirt  (aolnews.com) (74)
(Metro)   Chicken clucking sore after laying four-inch egg  (metro.co.uk) (34)
(Daily Mail)   Every time this man had sex, he never saw it coming  (dailymail.co.uk) (48)
(Yahoo)   A retired French electrician and his wife have come forward with 271 undocumented, never-before-seen works by Pablo Picasso estimated to be worth at least $429.72^3  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (80)
(New York Daily News)   Man saves passenger who fell onto subway tracks because: c) "if he gets hit I can't go to work. It's Sunday. I can't miss out. It's a time-and-a-half day"?  (nydailynews.com) (41)
(CNN)   South Korea "accidentally" fires shell towards North Korea  (edition.cnn.com) (88)
(Daily Mail)   Study explains why women in the north wear shorter skirts than women in warmer climates. As if anyone cares why  (dailymail.co.uk) (226)
(WLSAM)   "This is your captain. We have reached cruising altitude enroute to New York. Please sit back, relax, take your clothes off and enjoy the ride"  (wlsam.com) (41)
(CNN)   You know that failed FBI-orchestrated terrorist attack the other day in Oregon? Well, some Real 'Merikans torched the suspect's mosque this morning  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (658)
(Yahoo)   Saudi Arabian father keeps turning down marriage proposals for his 42-year-old surgeon daughter because while she is single, he collects her salary  (news.yahoo.com) (160)
(Some Women)   Photoshop this bucket by the sea  (my-expressions.com) (36)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Scientists ponder why whales beach themselves, and why this guy tried the opposite  (tampabay.com) (21)
(Sioux City Journal)   "Winter perfect time to admire tree bark, Nebraska experts say." After all, it's not like there's anything else to see in Nebraska in winter  (siouxcityjournal.com) (46)
(Daily Mail)   The culture of binge drinking is creating women that are aggessive and out of control. You say that like it's a bad thing  (dailymail.co.uk) (230)

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