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Fark SearchWeb Fark
Sun April 03, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Toronto Sun)   1500 take part in "SlutWalk" and of course, the Sun is there  (torontosun.com) (701)
(Some Guy)   Police believe alcohol may have been involved in two men falling out of a bus on the way home from a brewery tour  (katu.com) (39)
(The Age (Melbourne))   Despite the 775 million barrels of oil spilled in the gulf and 11 dead, Transocean rewards executives with pay rises, bonuses, stock options for making 2010 the company's "best year" for safety  (theage.com.au) (211)
(Some Guys)   Photoshop this touching scene  (my-expressions.com) (39)
(Fox News)   Missing teen found in meth lab bites police officer. Can we quarantine the state already?  (foxnews.com) (77)
(Orlando Sentinel)   You can tuna piano, but that isn't tuna fish  (orlandosentinel.com) (40)
(Fox News)   "Breakfast Beer" slammed by critics, beer lovers  (foxnews.com) (225)
(Orlando Sentinel)   $1 billion in aid to Japan has reached... the pockets of the Red Cross  (orlandosentinel.com) (341)
(Miami Herald)   Man charged with marijuana possession, theft of Krispy Kreme truck, insists the former had nothing to do with the latter. Mmmm, forbidden donut  (miamiherald.com) (22)
(Some Guy)   Top 10 interesting ghost towns around the world. Bonus, not a slideshow  (mediadump.com) (114)
(The New York Times)   Once in a while, the World's Fair could be pretty cool, even if that first photo of the '39 World's Fair looks like "Meet The Robinsons" at Shea Stadium  (nytimes.com) (85)
(Some Guy)   An all-female Air Force fighter-bomber crew finally gives the Taliban a long-overdue karmic comeuppance  (af.mil) (242)
(Sun Sentinel)   Florida gets one right: judge throws out foreclosure suit, gives house to the homeowner and holds the lawyer in contempt  (sun-sentinel.com) (198)
(NPR)   Although the internet is primarily used for porn it also has other uses, for instance spreading Satanism  (npr.org) (177)
(NASA)   NASA announces winners of 18th annual Great Moonbuggy Race. Come with me for fun in moon buggy, see the Earth spin round in moon buggy, she's a sight for your poor old eyes, moon buggy. I feel like a king in moon buggy  (nasa.gov) (50)
(Daily Mail)   They say revenge is a dish best served cold. This one comes in around 0º Kelvin  (dailymail.co.uk) (113)
(Some Guy)   ♫ It's Sundae, Sundae, happy birthday Sundae fun fun fun ♫  (searchengineland.com) (28)
(Some Face-Palm Guy)   India's version of Republicans are OUTRAGED and will step in and handle things "their way" if the government doesn't prevent super-hot model from going naked to fulfill World Cup promise  (hindustantimes.com) (119)
(Daily Mail)   The idea of genetically modifying cattle to produce human milk is udderly preposterous  (dailymail.co.uk) (57)
(CNN)   I said, WORLD'S FIRST CELL PHONE CALL MADE 38 YEARS AGO TODAY  (cnn.com) (99)
(Al Jazeera)   Mubarak has left the building (maybe)  (english.aljazeera.net) (52)
(The Smoking Gun)   Vodka and Gatorade, it gives you wings  (thesmokinggun.com) (78)
(UPI)   Mainstream media learns that they'll have to spend the next several *months* figuring out how to come up with new sensationalist doom-and-gloom headlines about Fukishima. Considering their normal attention span, this may be nearly impossible  (upi.com) (112)
(Some Guy)   On Fark we joke a lot about tacos. But Chicago area Farkers need to give love to this woman, without her Peeples Taco may not exist. Ma Peeples give me 3 steak hot with cheese   (thevoicenewspapers.blogspot.com) (63)
(Life.com)   Happy 85th birthday, Gus Grissom. Distinguished Flying Cross, Congressional Space Medal of Honor, first human to fly in space twice, lost with White and Chaffee in the Apollo 1 disaster. Ad astra per aspera. God speed, sir  (life.com) (111)
(Some Room)   Photoshop this resting robot  (lh3.googleusercontent.com) (37)
(Some Guy)   Your snowflake really needs to shut the hell up. The duct tape was just a reminder  (wsvn.com) (108)
(UPI)   Oil spill in southern Atlantic has already killed over 300... penguins  (upi.com) (32)
(Fox 4 KC)   Kansas legislature votes to officially legalize customary practices of drivers exceeding speed limit and bicyclists disregarding red lights  (fox4kc.com) (132)
(UPI)   UPI chooses a rather unfortunate expression in the Walmart Supreme Court headline... though, to be honest, some of the plaintiffs are kinda' hot  (upi.com) (96)
(Daily Mail)   Spanish police tricked twice into letting convict escape from prison after not getting their fax straight  (dailymail.co.uk) (41)
(Miami Herald)   Co-founder of Bojangles up and died, he up and died  (miamiherald.com) (125)
(MSNBC)   Old and busted: Gays being accepted in the military. New hotness: Atheists being accepted in the military  (msnbc.msn.com) (333)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this sleep study  (1.bp.blogspot.com) (28)
(Lynn Daily Item)   Bicyclists dream of bike path to ocean. Drivers dream of even longer bike path  T-Shirt  (thedailyitemoflynn.com) (151)
(ABC News)   Painfully obvious tips about pain. Thanks, Dr. Romero  (abcnews.go.com) (38)
(Sun Sentinel)   The Florida way to deal with a fruit menace: A) Burn down the fruit trees B) Develop tiny fly condom C) Air drop tons of sterile male flies  (sun-sentinel.com) (65)
(Some News Sites)   Treki defects from Libyan government, Ceti Alpha V  T-Shirt  (protests4democracy.tumblr.com) (143)

Sat April 02, 2011
(Details Magazine)   The No-Baby Boom, or, how I learned to stop worrying and become childfree  (details.com) (852)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Ugly ass baby giraffe born at Cincinnati Zoo for first time in 26 years. (w/ ugly ass pic) BONUS: Link to more pics including one showing what a smiling baby giraffe looks like  (news.cincinnati.com) (47)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   There's a fine line between "beer geek" and "beer hipster douchebag". Beer  (startribune.com) (148)
(MSNBC)   Journalist creates fake profile on Ashley Madison and is shocked, SHOCKED to find out all different kinds of men cheat on their wives  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (133)
(Some Child Protective Service)   Parents: "No, that's okay, we won't keep our sick newborn baby in ICU all night, we'll just cure it at home naturally." Hospital: "How about no"  (ktnv.com) (475)
(Free Press)   One sign demonstrating why the Hash Bash in Ann Arbor is so cool: "If we all had a bong, we'd all get along"  (freep.com) (64)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop theme: Embiggen something tiny  (i.imgur.com) (48)
(Yahoo)   The good news, jobs are being created. The bad news, would you like fries with that?  (news.yahoo.com) (98)
(Some Guy)   ♫ Zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-day, for twenty years Disney's had a Gay Day. Conservatives want to take it away, zip-a-dee-doo-dah, zip-a-dee-day ♫  (sunshinestatenews.com) (260)
(Some Guy)   Remember those books found in a cave in Jordan labeled "most important find in Christian history"? Well, they are actually forgeries created within the last 50 years  (derrenbrown.co.uk) (178)
(The New York Times)   PETA wants to rename San Francisco's Tenderloin District into the Tempeh District in homage to the soy-based meat substitute  (nytimes.com) (95)
(AL.com)   Cool: Technicians make beeping Easter eggs so blind kids can find them. Interesting: Bomb technicians  (blog.al.com) (69)
(MSNBC)   Victoria's Secret model REALLY needs a sammich (w/ pic)  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (259)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   Thanks to rising prices, your next BLT might just be an LT  (suntimes.com) (97)
(Some Pork)   Hormel sues competitor over knock-off Spam can. Prem, prem, prem, prem, premidy prem, wonderful prem  (tcbmag.blogs.com) (93)
(CNN)   Southwest takes requisite overreacting measures to appease safety-conscious, probability-challenged public  (cnn.com) (88)
(Popular Science)   Ground-up meat and bone could be turned into biodegradable plastics according to scientists at the Soylent Corporation  (popsci.com) (24)
(Some Radioactive Guy)   They're called "Jumpers" or "Glowboys" but all you really need to know about them is they have the worst job on the planet  (itwonlast.tumblr.com) (160)
(wptv)   Nothing brightens up a routine DUI stop better than a naked blonde behind the wheel ... most of the time, that is  (wptv.com) (54)
(Some Lady)   New York woman sues plastic surgeon after botched eyelift left her with zombie-like appearance every time she closes her eyes  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (104)
(Popular Mechanics)   Of course, as fellow Farkers you already know how to survive the zombie apocalypse. But what do you do when the cows come calling?  (popularmechanics.com) (65)
(Chicago Sun-Times)   The best alcohol pairings for pork. "My favorite pairing was Templeton Rye with bacon"  (suntimes.com) (61)
(MSNBC)   Los Angeles city attorney, unable to charge graffiti artists of actually committing a crime, charges them with violating unfair competition laws because they're selling works on the strength of reputations built on vandalism  (msnbc.msn.com) (88)
(MSN)   Photoshop this Libyan rebel  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (47)
(NJ.com)   28 year old woman arrested for having sex with two 15-year-old boys. Where were these women when I was ... OH MY GOD. MY EYES  (nj.com) (163)
(Some Guy)   In yet another rebuke to the governor, honorary citizens of fake country renounce their citizenship  (keysnet.com) (44)
(Salon)   10 most segregated cities in the US. The South is suprisingly absent from the list. Warning: slideshow  (salon.com) (434)
(The New York Times)   Because there are no more problems left for New York to fix, one of the legislators has set out to find the official state scent. Subby would go with exhaust from moving trucks headed for Florida, with notes of urine and desperation   (cityroom.blogs.nytimes.com) (56)
(Chicago Tribune)   FDA wants more restaurants to post calorie counts and nutrition labels because clearly it's their fault you don't know that triple cheeseburger might be unhealthy for you  (chicagotribune.com) (322)
(Wired)   Before you start issuing lawsuits against movie downloaders, it's always worth double checking you actually own the rights to the film in question. Also, this might be the most awesome sounding film in years  (wired.com) (70)
(Some Guy)   Thieves steal $44,000 worth of expensive lawn ornaments. Including a 600 pound, $6200 bronze moose that once bit my sister  (10news.com) (23)
(Some Guy)   Rare Twist: High school teacher c***blocks male student from older woman. Fark: She was local chief of police's wife  (theworldlink.com) (80)
(WFTV)   Police collar dangerous man after brief chase on golf course. His crime: Driving UNDER the speed limit  (wftv.com) (26)
(Daily Mail)   Now that the government has finished testing the earthquake machine, they have moved on to controlling the minds of the media by using microwaves  (dailymail.co.uk) (41)
(Some Kitty)   Squeeze the cat, rescued from a tight fitting pipe gets a new home just in time for Caturday  (dailycamera.com) (lots)
(Slate)   Women putting the "fun" back in "funeral"  (slate.com) (55)
(Billings Gazette)   Montana state legislator/bar owner takes floor of House to rail against drunk-driving laws, arguing that Montana's vast rural areas make it necessary for people to drink and drive. Subby's been through those towns, nods in agreement  (billingsgazette.com) (75)
(New York Daily News)   Dentist mistakenly received $50,000 worth of pot in the mail. This is why you should never sample your product while preparing shipments  (nydailynews.com) (69)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop Donnie and a little dog  (starpicture.ru) (26)
(Dlisted)   GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH *inhale* GAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH (pics)  (dlisted.com) (143)
(Telegraph)   Libya does the only rational thing possible after their Foreign Minister defected: they arrest his wife and get into a gunfight with defecting officials  (telegraph.co.uk) (52)
(Some Farker)   Never bring a gun to a snake fight  (blogs.miaminewtimes.com) (12)
(AZCentral)   Phoenix hits 100 degrees Friday, second earliest date to hit 100 on record. So suck on that global warming deniers  (azcentral.com) (342)
(Some Guy)   Great, now airlines will start charging an intact fuselage fee  (kcra.com) (93)

Fri April 01, 2011
(CBC)   "Everyone thinks I'm a bad person but I'm not a bad person," Lady, you stole a baby. It is safe to say, you ARE a bad person  (cbc.ca) (71)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this cheese merchant  (online.wsj.com) (35)
(Some Guy)   Pro-pranksterTip: Calling police to say that shots have been fired at your place of employment is a bad idea for an April Fool's Day joke, especially when you work at City Hall  (wiod.com) (28)
(Some Guy)   Doing meth for four days, showing my man sausage to women and spraying silly string all over a store will help me get another job  (myfoxphoenix.com) (32)
(USA Today)   CEO pay jumped 27% in 2010. Meanwhile, be happy with your 2% raise, peasant  (usatoday.com) (349)
(WATE-TV)   DirecTV to tornado victim: "Sorry you lost your home, that'll be $170 in early termination and lost equipment charges, please"  (wate.com) (97)
(MSNBC)   Emergency workers at Fukushima nuclear plant fully expect to die within a few weeks or months as they try to stop meltdown. In related story, subby was too afraid to step on spider in bathroom this morning  (msnbc.msn.com) (344)
(Macleans)   It's not news, it's...: Quilting becoming popular among men. Fark: Men are better at it than women. "Women will look at each other's projects and tell them how fabulous it is, even when it's not"  (www2.macleans.ca) (107)
(Komo)   95 year-old World War II Veteran will get his U.S. Citizenship, Boston Celtics contract  T-Shirt  (komonews.com) (37)
(Capital Times)   Checklist of a pawn store brawl. "(3) was bitten in the chest by the suspect in the headlock"  (host.madison.com) (12)
(WGAL 8)   Just a quick question of decorum here. If you find a drunken judge, wrapped only in a bed sheet, beating on a woman's hotel room door is it still advisable to refer to him as "your honor?" Thanks for any help  (wgal.com) (32)
(The Sun)   Today's Fark-ready headline: 'Tits bouncing back in warmer weather'  (thesun.co.uk) (49)
(Daily Mail)   "Divorcee looking for love is reunited with her long-lost brother - after meeting him on a dating website"  (dailymail.co.uk) (39)
(The Smoking Gun)   Here are some April Fools for the Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (162)
(AJC)   Customer gets leaded at gas station  (ajc.com) (27)
(MSNBC)   Airline flight is diverted after passengers and some of the crew began feeling sick. Why do people keep ordering the fish?  T-Shirt  (msnbc.msn.com) (107)
(The Epoch Times)   The original AIDS classic formula has been replaced secretly with new AIDS  (theepochtimes.com) (204)
(Some Guy)   Driver takes the name "AutoZone" a little too literally  (wusa9.com) (21)
(My Fox NY)   Baseball players charged over sacrificing chickens. Pedro Cerrano unavailable for comment  (myfoxny.com) (60)
(Some Guy)   No clear winner in Thursday's parachute headbutt competition  (clickorlando.com) (71)
(Metro)   I like big big baps and I cannot lie  (metro.co.uk) (55)
(Palm Beach Post)   Car thief driving 300 horsepower Mercedes pursued by salesman in golf cart. In his defense, he used to work at a Toyota dealership where this strategy worked well  (palmbeachpost.com) (8)
(wptv.com)   Fake takes down armed robber  (wptv.com) (15)
(Mercury News)   Resident: You're putting up 50' cell tower without proper authorization. City: Fark you, we're doing it anyway. Resident: Fine, I'll just take away your free internet. City: Can't we talk this over?  (mercurynews.com) (202)
(Fox News)   Alaska to beat out Hawaii as most popular destination for soldiers  (foxnews.com) (87)
(Google)   Google hiring auto-completers. (You can get your foot in the door as a spell-checker)  (google.com) (78)
(New Scientist)   The power to beat restless leg syndrome is in your hand  (newscientist.com) (93)
(The New York Times)   UN staff killed by angry mob in Afghanistan after pastor burns copy of Qur'an. In Florida  (nytimes.com) (lots)
(TBO)   Any story that has the phrase "a man carrying a chain saw looking for his wife" in it, never ends well  (www2.tbo.com) (15)
(Some Guy)   A man in Olympia, WA. has been arrested for using the drive through to drop his children off at daycare  (kirotv.com) (12)
(Some Guy)   Stoner with the munchies passes out in the drive through. FARK: Of the Big Mac Museum  (wtae.com) (18)
(Couch Cuisine)   Woman addicted to eating sofas. So much for the return of the ottoman empire  (digitalspy.com) (48)
(Pocono Record)   Washington State man initiates new "Do Not Resuscitate" procedure  (poconorecord.com) (60)
(CNN)   Bush warns of early pullout from Labia  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (103)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop this counter communication  (spiegel.de) (34)
(Pat's Papers)   Looking for a profession that saves lives? Get that interior decorating permit  (patspapers.com) (26)
(Winston-Salem Journal)   Family looking to renovate after living room becomes too plane  (www2.journalnow.com) (18)
(UPI)   Man calls 911 when strippers don't show up at motel room like they promised  (upi.com) (22)
(WFTV)   On trial for murder? Charles Manson to the rescue  (wftv.com) (28)
(Yahoo)   Are you proud of your job? Do you feel it's proof that hard work and a good education pays off? Then this is probably a bad time to tell you that Rutgers just paid "Snooki" $32,000 to give a speech to its students  (news.yahoo.com) (163)
(Yahoo)   25 years after Chernobyl, German wild boar meat still described as "radioactive," "extraordinarily tasty"  (news.yahoo.com) (55)
(My Fox DC)   Sick of just booing the player, DC fans now sticking it to anyone who walks on the field  (myfoxdc.com) (29)
(3 News New Zealand)   Residents angry after town's broken clock left unfixed. Wild-haired scientist and teenager who only responds to the name 'chicken' sought for questioning  T-Shirt  (3news.co.nz) (36)
(Yahoo)   While correlation does not always equal causation, I'd say it's a pretty good bet here: Study shows an inverse relationship between students' average BACs and GPAs  (news.yahoo.com) (35)
(MSNBC)   First they came for the paralyzed brain-damaged kangaroos and I didn't speak out because I wasn't a paralyzed brain-damaged kangaroo  (msnbc.msn.com) (15)
(Talking Points Memo)   Japanese Prime Minister vows to win nuclear battle. Emperor Hirohito looks on skeptically  (talkingpointsmemo.com) (40)
(Wall Street Journal)   Russian billionaire buys house for $100M, is disappointed to find no miniature giraffes included  (online.wsj.com) (60)
(Some Guy)   Hi-res aerial photographs of Fukushima Daiichi nuclear plant damage  (cryptome.org) (112)
(KFAB)   Mom must be proud, daughter works at adult book store....and son robs his sister at work  (kfab.com) (22)
(The Smoking Gun)   What do an embalmer, a hairdresser, an engineer, a pharmacist, and a teacher have in common?  (thesmokinggun.com) (18)
(Some Guy)   Best April Fools' Day Pranks  (newsngossips.com) (144)
(WFTV)   Stupidest reporter on the face of the earth attempts an interview  (wftv.com) (48)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Microphones stolen from church. Cops hoping it was only a clerical error  (nwfdailynews.com) (9)
(Daily Mail)   Pictures of 10 dogs who are silently plotting their owners' untimely demises  (dailymail.co.uk) (64)
(Boston Herald)   "Coach tries to explain classroom porn gaffe"  (bostonherald.com) (48)
(Some Guy)   Three weeks after the tsunami, rescue workers find a dog. On a roof. In the ocean  (deredactie.be) (46)
(Daily Mail)   Blind Muslim woman is denied service dog because dogs are unclean. After years of protest, she got a little horse  (dailymail.co.uk) (80)
(CBS News)   A crummy commercial? Son of a biatch  (cbsnews.com) (30)
(News.com.au)   Cheesus Christ  (news.com.au) (61)
(Some Guy)   Protesting clown removed from tree, with bird's-eye view picture goodness  (wpbf.com) (22)
(Some Guy)   Weird Celebrity Insurance Policies  (newsngossips.com) (10)
(Mother Nature Network)   53 years after it was erected, the US Army blows up the South Pole's first building. "It was a little sad, but the day goes on"  (mnn.com) (39)
(NPR)   Japanese farmers brace for bumper tomaco crop  (npr.org) (58)
(Daily Mail)   David Beckham wants to name upcoming daughter Justin Beiber Beckham. Also glad it's a girl because wife didn't want 'another penis' in the house  (dailymail.co.uk) (32)
(Some Guy)   Military adopts new uniform for troops in Afghanistan. Uniforms now can hold extra ammo, canteen, entire DVD collection, spare tire, infantry unit, etc  (uscav.com) (50)
(Some Guy)   New artwork at the Pentagon: Snakes eating frogs, toads eating gnats When the space ship beams you up boy, get drunk fast Rubber bullet barn, titty suckin calf- Goats and roosters Bees and bugs Amoebas  (usnews.com) (38)
(Daily Mail)   This are what rong with hour kids theas days  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(AP)   Man who shot himself in the back was his own worst enemy  (hosted.ap.org) (17)
(The Consumerist)   No need to suffer pork belly deficiency anymore. We are happy to present, The Bacon Inhaler  (consumerist.com) (26)
(Wired)   "Most people don't want to have a public lawsuit against them for Teen Anal Nightmare 2, so they settle"  (wired.com) (140)
(My Fox DC)   Old and busted: using donated sofa and table to furnish your apartment. New hotness: using donated guns and bullets to arm your police force  (myfoxdc.com) (6)
(Daily Mail)   People are stunned to discover that high school boys are passing around topless pictures of their hot art teacher  (dailymail.co.uk) (137)
(Some Guy)   Two words: glowing lightsaber popsicles. They're so cool, they break the rules of math  (thinkgeek.com) (103)
(Some Hole in the Wall)   Shed some light on this subject  (bigpicture.ru) (33)
(Boing Boing)   Well this isn't going to attract any attention from the authorities  (boingboing.net) (36)
(Fox News)   April Fools' Day is good for your heart, according to doctors who never woke up to the sight of a giant fake spider  T-Shirt  (foxnews.com) (47)
(News.com.au)   Airline announces "child-free" flights. In a press release dated 1 April. Not sure if serious  (news.com.au) (167)
(Billings Gazette)   The EPA calls a press conference to announce that (drum roll) radiation levels in Montana are fine  (billingsgazette.com) (35)
(Some Guy)   Mexican drug cartels threaten to kill Texas Rangers, Nolan Ryan immediately goes into hiding  (themonitor.com) (103)
(USA Today)   Report says study of gay, transgender health needed. Still no cure for gay cancer  (usatoday.com) (80)
(azfamily.com)   Teen gets a $2000 bill from the city after he cuts himself and bleeds on the street waiting for an ambulance  (azfamily.com) (126)
(USA Today)   Studies trying to find relationship between attractiveness and happiness find relationship between attractiveness and happiness  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (87)

Thu March 31, 2011
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this head in a hole  (4.bp.blogspot.com) (51)
(Daily Mail)   Stink bug epidemic spreads to 33 states, your Mom  (dailymail.co.uk) (88)
(WLSAM)   Having solved all their budget and crime problems, the city of Chicago turns it's attention to the scourge of creeping horse pee  (wlsam.com) (34)
(News.com.au)   Australian man brings ailing horse back from brink of death with beer. Let's see your pissweak American beer do THAT  (news.com.au) (86)
(KRQE News)   Balloon Museum pop scare pinned on a suspect. Let's hope they give him the needle  (krqe.com) (22)
(Some Guy)   Rocky outcome to store inspection. I'll be next door at the hoe-down  (wyff4.com) (27)
(Some Little People)   Your honor, my clients take offense to the implication that they were the stars of "Fertile Little Tattooed Pageant Parents Who Enjoy Baking"  (courierpostonline.com) (57)
(Guardian.com)   Pro tip: when defecting from a country at war, make sure the new country grants you immunity, to avoid embarrassing questions like "What was your role in Lockerbie?"  (guardian.co.uk) (29)
(NBC17)   Media frenzy over missing white female with "a distinct habit of shaking her bottom"  (www2.nbc17.com) (41)
(USA Today)   Some gambling wizard, or possibly a time traveller from the future, put money on VCU when Vegas had them at 5,000-to-1 odds  (content.usatoday.com) (112)
(Some Guy)   What's the one thing that was the most difficult for you to give up? For how long did you abstain? Difficulty: Besides subby's Mom  (aa.org) (173)
(Some Guy)   Kids: hey, can we go play outside? HOA: how about no  (clickorlando.com) (294)
(FOX Charlotte)   Home Invasion Suspect Leaves Behind T-Shirt With His Picture On It  (foxcharlotte.com) (44)
(Yahoo)   Rhode Island to apologize for executing Irish immigrant in 1845, presumably because he never got to enjoy the proliferation of strip clubs and organized crime  (news.yahoo.com) (25)
(Some Drebin)   The ending credits to all six Police Squad episodes, as if you were old enough to remember them  (snotr.com) (79)
(UPI)   At risk for blood clots: People with blood  (upi.com) (26)
(Ohio.com)   Spare the rod, spoil the repo man trying to take your Lexus  (ohio.com) (35)
(AZCentral)   If you're going to use brake fluid and a cigarette lighter to try and remove a beehive from your attic, try not to set your house on fire  (azcentral.com) (17)
(Some Kyodonews)   Man crashes loudspeaker truck into gates of Fukushima nuclear plant, becomes radiant attention whore  (english.kyodonews.jp) (25)
(Bangor Daily News)   Bomb Threat 101: If you are going to threaten to blow up a bus, be sure your "detonator" is not a Wii controller  (new.bangordailynews.com) (26)
(Reno Gazette-Journal)   If you need some acid on the cheap, there's 250 gallons of it pouring down Coney Island Drive for the taking. Bonus: another acid spill happened on the same street two months ago  (rgj.com) (17)
(King of the World)   James Cameron announces that "Avatar 2" will steal from better films  (digitalspy.com) (143)
(Reuters)   Fukushima bar scene not as hot as it used to be. "Customers are ordering food now, rather than alcohol"  (reuters.com) (20)
(Reno Gazette-Journal)   Mother of the year alert: woman shakes her 8-week-old, calls it a "gay slur", detaches both retinas, breaks ribs, femur, finally kills it and sets body on fire. If that wasn't bad enough, her eyebrows are tattoos  (rgj.com) (283)
(FARK)   Drew Curtis: Caught greenlighting sayof. He: "I gonna greenlight this" OR EAT ME HAHA (WINNING)  (fark.com) (483)
(Some Guy)   When selling hay on Craigslist, a picture of a horse eating the hay is a good idea; a picture of a sweaty guy with "I'm going to kill you look" probably not so much  (vancouver.en.craigslist.ca) (80)
(The Morning Call)   Gallant obeys the rules of the road. Goofus weaves in and out of traffic, confronts cops, is hit by stun guns, and gets charged with 24 counts of illegally possessing firearms  (mcall.com) (5)
(Sun Sentinel)   Hey kids, there's a fun way to be cool. Play Darwin's favorite game. Thanks for providing instructions, Florida newspaper  (sun-sentinel.com) (24)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Give greenlight, I grammar nazi  (startribune.com) (19)
(Nerve)   Couple on the worst blind date ever realizes they have lots in common -- parents  (nerve.com) (35)
(Huffington Post)   Ina garten says she didn't know about cancer kid untill she read it on the news riiiiiight  (huffingtonpost.com) (48)
(kpho.com)   Kidney donor fired from job. That's a gutless decision  (kpho.com) (17)
(Some Guy)   Turns out the Burger King Bikini Brawler gave police a fake name, fake age, fake address, and a REAL cell phone number. Bonus? Now being charged with multiple felonies  (newsherald.com) (27)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Girls Gone Wild founder's trial goes about as well as expected after he is charged with contempt for tossing beads around the courtroom, asking the prosecutor if she was a prostitute and would take her clothes off  (nwfdailynews.com) (47)
(Reuters)   Gaddafi Gov't spokesman Bab al-Azizia Bob says that Moussa Koussa is very ill, was allowed out of the country to rest, and that him defecting to the UK is no big deal  (af.reuters.com) (8)
(Yahoo)   Ivory Coast rebels now control 99 44/100% of the country  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (45)
(GM)   So I'm officially out as a feminist... (DIT). YEAH THAT'S RIGHT I GREENED IT  (msmagazine.com) (1855)
(AOL)   News: Bank robber asked to produce two forms of I.D. Fark: He complies  (jobs.aol.com) (8)
(Mercury News)   Pizza Extreme employees plead guilty to coming over to Pizza Orgasmica and not pulling out in time  (mercurynews.com) (13)
(Boston Globe)   Five goats found wandering the streets of New Jersey. MTV in talks to give them their own reality series  (boston.com) (17)
(Fox News)   So you can give your life for your country but you can't buy a beer? That's going to change in Alaska if legislator has his way. Tag is for our men and women in the armed services. Here's to you  (foxnews.com) (77)
(Telegraph)   "Nobody wants to look at a stiff, dead Knut"  (telegraph.co.uk) (12)
(ABC News)   Man regrows foreskin. Take that, Jews and Muslims  (abcnews.go.com) (52)
(FARK)   What sends you into murderous rage?  (fark.com) (254)
(FARK)   Who is greenlighting threads this evening? Some Vegas drunkard on their laptop?  (fark.com) (181)
(BBC)   Irish Central Bank announces they need an extra 24,000,000,000.00 Euros to not file for chapter 11. In related news: Ireland has been doing fine all these previous years  (bbc.co.uk) (63)
(Some Guy)   Nevada ranks 51st in education, unemployment, foreclosures, State-counting  (lvrj.com) (48)
(Netscape)   Does anybody here use a really old browser for any reason? Just curious  (netscape.com) (131)
(Some Guy)   Three-year-old whining more than Speaker John Boehner. Why? He wants to be governor of New Jersey, raise taxes and no one will let him because he's too small (video)  (hot995.com) (25)
(Talking Points Memo)   GOP Rep speaking on House floor: President Obama is using Libya to deplete the military so that he can call up the ACORN army granted to him by Obamacare   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (221)
(BBC)   When guns creep in to a culture that can't shoot them correctly the inevitable happens. If England had more guns this wouldn't have happened  (bbc.co.uk) (36)
(STLToday)   Drivers of Chicago horse drawn carriages forced to stop and clean up after horses. Cubs and Bears shiatting on field still okay  (stltoday.com) (22)
(Some Spelunker)   Photoshop this secret tunnel  (i162.photobucket.com) (38)
(Some Guy)   Pictures of all the extremely handsome and drop-dead gorgeous winners of $319 million Mega Millions jackpot released  (abclocal.go.com) (46)
(LA Times)   Ford has the most repeat buyers, thanks largely to buyers needing a new one every 1.5 years  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (187)
(Denver Channel)   This year's high school prom brought to you by fine inmates of the Sterling Correctional Facility  (thedenverchannel.com) (19)
(CNN)   Muslim woman takes off Burqa, surprisingly hot underneath. Here comes the death threats  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (87)
(The New York Times)   Even though uncertainty remains about the democratic credentials of the Yemeni uprising, at least we now know they are natural capitalists  (nytimes.com) (7)
(WPTV-5)   Air show participants make perfect landings...just in time for tornado  (wptv.com) (20)
(Toronto Star)   Mayor's office quietly scoops up all copies of newspaper featuring naked mayor on cover  (thestar.com) (39)
(Arctic Sounder)   Alaska moonshiner carves up his own door with a chainsaw, goes to jail, pees on cell wall, lights blanket on fire, and attacks troopers. "Alcohol was a factor"  (thearcticsounder.com) (23)
(Herald Journal)   Idaho man takes Mormon county leaders to court over their liquor ban, arguing his new religion advocates drinking tequila liberally  (news.hjnews.com) (82)
(Some Guy)   Study: Religiosity, spirituality impact health. Suck it, sickly atheists  (wiod.com) (89)
(Fox News)   Arnold, you just finished your governorship, what are you going to do next? "I'm going to get my own cartoon show"  (foxnews.com) (25)
(Some Guy)   The Maine artist whose 36-foot mural was ordered removed from the state Labor Department says the art work should be returned and suggests hanging her late father's Bronze Star in its place until then  (wcsh6.com) (205)
(Some Guy)   Drunk, high and tazed is no way to punch a police dog, son  (ocregister.com) (11)
(Cracked)   Five golf courses that can kill you  (cracked.com) (23)
(Some Guy)   At least they got out of Ohio  (whiotv.com) (18)
(MLive.com)   Man sentenced for urinating in girlfriend's (A) 2009 Kendall Jackson chardonnay (B) Land O' Lakes coffee creamer (C) pitcher of Crystal Light (D) All of the above  (mlive.com) (41)
(Daily Mail)   Finally a solution to climate change: Cow Rape  (dailymail.co.uk) (26)
(NYPost)   #caught @bronxzoo  (nypost.com) (31)
(Gizmodo)   The latest trend in hyper-expensive luxury watches? They don't tell time: " The value of a watch is not to give you time. Any five dollar watch can do that"  (gizmodo.com) (93)
(Bloomberg)   Jobless claims in U.S. fell by 6,000 last week. Will republicans claim: A) Fluke. B) Libya isn't going to invade itself. or C) Look over there  (bloomberg.com) (113)
(New York Daily News)   It's kind of awkward when your family walks in on you having sex with a prostitute. It's really awkward when they find grandma dead in the closet  (nydailynews.com) (19)
(Salon)   Alaska turns to anti-Muslim fringe blogger Pamela Geller as "expert witness" in anti-Sharia legislation debate  (salon.com) (143)
(Celebslam)   The new Wonder Woman is powerless to stop a basic ass grab  (celebslam.celebuzz.com) (148)
(wtsp.com)   Ugly ass baby gazelle comes to Busch Gardens. With ugly ass drinking from a baby bottle pics  (usf.wtsp.com) (5)
(Huffington Post)   "Toxic Waste" chewing gum recalled due to containing - toxic waste  (huffingtonpost.com) (12)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Bikinis, beer, and underage girls. Yup, it's spring break in Florida  (nwfdailynews.com) (33)
(Yahoo)   WWII soldier breaks a 60-year silence to reveal that he managed to sneak into Auschwitz at the height of the war-by swapping his POW uniform with one from a death camp inmate  (news.yahoo.com) (82)
(Some Guy)   Remember the Arizona kidnapping stats? And the follow-up "yeah, about that.."? Well, yeah...about that  (mega949.com) (18)
(Some Guy)   "As for the horse-cleavage, are you kidding me?"  (thecityweekly.com.au) (33)
(YouTube)   Christopher Walken is 68 years old today. I give you the watch lecture from Pulp Fiction  (youtube.com) (80)
(Chicago Tribune)   Teacher under investigation for posting mocking photo of student on her Facebook page, but most will agree that the mocking was justified  (chicagotribune.com) (178)
(The New York Times)   Japanese nuclear plant workers shed light on current crisis, dark rooms  (nytimes.com) (78)
(Wired)   Reporter seeks info on who sold Libya some Russian missiles that the US considers "one of the most lethal" weapons of its kind. Guess. No, really. Guess  (wired.com) (96)
(Yahoo)   Does your name determine your destiny? For example, if your name is Destiny, are you destined to take your clothes off for a living?  (news.yahoo.com) (203)
(Yahoo)   Consumer Product Safety Commission warn public not to use those giant plastic water-walking ball saying "they know of no safe way to use them" and cite reports of myriad fatal..well dozens of serious..er..um actually two minor injuries  (news.yahoo.com) (58)
(SeattlePI)   Man pines for the good old days when it wasn't illegal to get drunk and wrestle a tree  (seattlepi.com) (27)
(wtsp.com)   News: School janitor struck by lightning during storms today. Fark: Asks if he can come back to work today  (holiday.wtsp.com) (41)
(CNN)   Facebook's response to parents' lawsuit seeking removal and return of graphic crime scene photos of their freshly murdered daughter: "The case is without merit, we will fight it vigorously,  (edition.cnn.com) (145)
(Yahoo)   New Watergate exhibit at the Nixon Library no longer calls the incident a "coup" against Nixon, admits he might just have done something wrong  (news.yahoo.com) (18)
(Evansville Courier and Press)   When taking hostages, having them dye your hair, make you food, and load their personal belongings into your car, don't be surprised when the police and/or the Aristocrats get involved  (courierpress.com) (14)
(Engadget)   Smartphone manufacturer holds press event to unveil their latest creation: The Terminator T-1000's bunghole  (engadget.com) (54)
(MSNBC)   Donald Trump (R-eally bad toupee): "I never went bankrupt"  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com) (233)
(tcoasttalk.com)   A cheeseburger chucking gives a reporter a chance to use the phrases "zippy" and "large spot of ketchup"  (tcoasttalk.com) (15)
(Government Technology)   Amazon's new cloud storage service has music industry executives hyperventilating. "It sounds like legalized murder to me," said one  (govtech.com) (141)
(Yahoo)   Another day, another unhinged right wing tea partying racist white male nutjob rants against Islamic Terrorism: difficulty: this time it's a female muslim doctor supporting Peter King's Senate hearing  (news.yahoo.com) (110)
(IMDB)   The Matrix is 12 years old today. Woah  (imdb.com) (242)
(USA Today)   Having learned invaluable lessons from Vietnam, the US sends CIA teams to advise and aid the Libyan rebels. Where is the Facepalm tag when you need it  (usatoday.com) (100)
(Mother Nature Network)   Mother doesn't know how she's going to convince her second-grader that a giant bunny armed with baskets and plastic eggs is going to sneak into their house on Easter Eve  (mnn.com) (56)
(WLSAM)   Police give distraught woman ride home. Woman repays cops kindness with game of strip poker. Police HQ says, take off your badges  (wlsam.com) (57)
(Washington Post)   Wanna know who to blame for higher gas prices? Well, you are in luck. Grab your pitchforks and non-fossil fuel burning torches  (washingtonpost.com) (47)
(Think Progress)   Rep. Tom Marino (R-etarded): After Libya "Where does it stop?" he said. "Do we go into Africa next?"  (thinkprogress.org) (177)
(Washington Post)   Justice Dept clears Justice Dept in investigation over misconduct  (washingtonpost.com) (33)
(wtsp.com)   Group of hawks makes it abundantly clear that they want the family whose yard they've nested in to stay indoors  (wtsp.com) (33)
(Fox News)   That guy who became one with his chair died. No word on if chair is to be buried with him  (foxnews.com) (142)
(Herald Tribune)   By day, these men are simple paramedics, fitness instructors or tennis pros. But at night, they become ... "Butlers in the Buff." They stand nearly naked, ready to open doors and serve drinks to horny cougars  (heraldtribune.com) (25)
(The Sun)   Today is National Cleavage Day. The Sun is more than happy to be there  (thesun.co.uk) (1361)
(Spiegel)   When you're a flight attendant and you're smuggling coins, don't make your bag so heavy that you can't lift it  (spiegel.de) (19)
(Daily Mail)   Average British adult is so unhealthy 'they are left wheezing from walking up the stairs.' Average American adult unimpressed, asks "What are stairs?" before opening another pack of Twinkies  (dailymail.co.uk) (88)
(The Sun)   How big of a deal is the royal wedding? Representatives of several Suns are expected to drop in  (thesun.co.uk) (41)
(Some Guy)   Man accused of stripping naked, taking a dump in an elevator, then smearing his feces on his pregnant girlfriend's door and setting it on fire. Cops caught him later, brown-handed, literally  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (56)
(Time)   Bacon hipster too cool for Denny's  (time.com) (82)
(Yahoo)   Slides continue to threaten Bay Area homes. If they think the slides are bad wait until the seesaws show up  (news.yahoo.com) (23)
(ABC News)   Warren Buffett's successor resigns in disgrace after he admits to eating the chairman's cheeseburgers  (abcnews.go.com) (40)
(Yahoo)   How Libya could go wrong. Or how the French will surrender again  (news.yahoo.com) (67)
(PhysOrg.com)   Virus-eating virus discovered in Antarctica. Discovery of head crabs and Shoggoths expected sometime next week  (physorg.com) (62)
(wtsp.com)   What could possibly bring both Koreas together? a) Kim Jong Il's nifty hairdos, b) intervention from other countries or c) a giant volcano  (wtsp.com) (33)
(Washington Post)   Someone call the cavalry, there are 1.2 billion Indians just over the ridge  (washingtonpost.com) (47)
(BBC)   Gandhi's home state bans a new book suggesting he was... not completely vegetarian  (bbc.co.uk) (33)
(WMAL.com)   License Plates? I don't need no stinkin' legal plates - I'm Marion Barry  (wmal.com) (48)
(Daily Mail)   Katie Holmes admits buying daughter Suri bag of Penis Gummies. "I thought they were Swedish Fish." (with amusing pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (110)
(Yahoo)   Post-sex blues plague a third of young women. Subby wonders how all of his ex girlfriends wound up in the same study  (news.yahoo.com) (97)
(SFGate)   76 trumped, pwned in the pig's charade  (sfgate.com) (36)
(CTV)   Radiation slows recovery of dead near Fukushima plant. What? First an earthquake, then a Tsunami, followed by a Nuclear Meltdown AND NOW ZOMBIES?  (ctv.ca) (103)
(WPXI)   Man at Grateful Dead alumni concert gets in three-point stance and then bullcharges a window, plunging to his death. Surprisingly, sources say he was not totally sober at the time  (wpxi.com) (85)
(Houston Chronicle)   Voodoo priest sacrifices chicken to bring good fortune. Just kidding, it was a Fort Worth high school baseball team  (chron.com) (46)
(My Fox DC)   Autistic photographers capture beauty at the Cherry Blossom Festival which is going on in DC for another 257 hours, 17 minutes, 37 seconds  (myfoxdc.com) (36)
(The New York Times)   The Tea Party is being used as a tool by big business? You don't say  (nytimes.com) (346)
(My Fox DC)   City leaders have finally figured out how to keep deadly shootings from happening over and over again - legislation aimed at dealing with violence. And if that doesn't work you better believe there WILL be a candle-light vigil mister  (myfoxdc.com) (39)
(MSNBC)   Unemployment is so high in the US because our sacred Free Market means companies try to prevent hiring workers at all costs, even when they can afford to hire more workers  (msnbc.msn.com) (469)
(Some Guy)   Just another sleepy Maine town: moose on the side of the road, birds in the trees, weirdos with bombs strapped to their chests hijacking busses...wait, what?  (wabi.tv) (22)
(wtsp.com)   Best round up of Florida mug shots you will see all day  (wtsp.com) (47)
(wtsp.com)   What does Sea World plan to do with the whale that grabbed the trainer by the hair and ate her in front of adoring masses? a) put him out to pasture b) turn him into a giant bar of soap or c) return him to the tank for more interesting shows  (wtsp.com) (65)
(My Fox DC)   So, did you make any improvements to your rental property? - I see - Charitable donations? - OK - Now, your abortion, your bad or were you raped? - Uh huh - OK, your refund should be here in about 2 weeks  (myfoxdc.com) (117)
(Gawker)   Huge probe thrusted in to porn star leaks  (gawker.com) (50)
(Some Politically Correct Guy)   Furthering the attack on Christianity, a northeast Ohio community is taking the "Easter" out of the egg hunt  (www2.nbc17.com) (230)
(3 News New Zealand)   Despite all his rage, he's still just a vegan stuck in a cage  (3news.co.nz) (58)
(KKTV)   Turtle reported stolen from Coloado zoo. Authorities say preliminary suspects include Hare, Zombie Kid, Shredder  (kktv.com) (13)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this croc on the slopes  (fototelegraf.ru) (22)
(Some Guy)   "See if you can guess...what I am now"  (kcra.com) (49)
(Some Guy)   Meet the unluckiest guy in America, other than your dad  (newser.com) (69)
(NJ.com)   You keep a-knockin' but you can't come in. Especially when it's two in the morning and you're a naked dude  (nj.com) (18)
(NJ.com)   The usual order of things is: 1. Get a job. 2. Steal from your workplace  (nj.com) (31)
(C|Net)   Samsung laptops now come pre-surveilled with key-logger software for your convenience  (news.cnet.com) (113)
(10tv.com)   Drug Maker: This new drug we produce can prevent preterm labor. It costs $1500. Pharmacy: We can sell the same drug for $20. Maker: Not anymore. FDA: Actually, I think they can  (10tv.com) (206)
(Chicago Tribune)   New freshman-only school features 100% fewer swirlies, purple nurples, nelsons, wet willies, Indian burns, and social development  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (37)
(Wired)   Who lives in a drug cartel under the sea?  (wired.com) (84)
(Washington Times)   Gasoline up 100% under Obama  (washingtontimes.com) (424)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this undercover cat  (bigpicture.ru) (28)
(UPI)   Argentine press freedom award go to (drum roll, please) ..... Hugo Chavez? .....BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA  (upi.com) (33)
(The New York Times)   Aldi has succeeded where Wal-Mart has failed, and really, isn't Aldi just Trader Joe's without marketing?  (nytimes.com) (169)
(Phoenix New Times)   Top 10 craft beers for pussies. Yep, I drink that. That European one, too. And that one's my session lager  (blogs.phoenixnewtimes.com) (241)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 308: "Glass 2: Shattered & Stained" Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (151)

Wed March 30, 2011
(Daily Mail)   Woman undergoes plastic surgery so people will think she's a drag queen. RU PAUL  (dailymail.co.uk) (85)
(The Sun)   Chicken stops laying eggs, becomes a real cock. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (30)
(northescambia.com)   Sheriff: Hello potential jurors...here's my card. Judges: Quit that. Sheriff: No, it's free speech. Media: Can we watch? Sheriff: Never mind  (northescambia.com) (126)
(KREM)   Washington man sues Monster Energy Drinks after being informed that the dead mouse at the bottom of his can is not a "golden ticket" promotion  (krem.com) (85)
(Some Guy)   Teacher's aide charged for aiding teen with oral exam  (minnesota.cbslocal.com) (161)
(Some Guy)   Farmer warns dog owner he'll shoot her dog if it attacks his sheep again. The culprit? A Jack Russell/Yorkshire terrier mix  (dorsetecho.co.uk) (240)
(Reuters)   Ssshhh..President Obama has signed a secret order authorizing covert U.S. government support for Libya rebels  (reuters.com) (236)
(Two Tables & a Chair)   Photoshop this acrobatic act  (shorpy.com) (48)
(Hartford Courant)   Connecticut teacher asks fat student if he ate his homework, school board's dog is not amused  (courant.com) (127)
(Fox News)   In a stinging rebuff to its anti-poverty efforts, one of the poorest countries in Africa, Eritrea tells the U.N. to take their aid and shove it, because the U.N. makes their development problems worse, not better. Ouch  (foxnews.com) (132)
(Telegraph)   Libyan rebels obviously didn't hear that Obama stopped Gaddafi's deadly advance, because they're fleeing everywhere that they took since March 19th  (telegraph.co.uk) (119)
(Washington Post)   Man arrested at airport ingested nearly four pounds of heroin in hopes of avoiding the extra carry-on fee  (washingtonpost.com) (24)
(Gawker)   You laid-off hordes of homeless need a little damn perspective. Think of other Americans for once in awhile  (gawker.com) (81)
(ABC News)   Holy shiat  (abcnews.go.com) (106)
(Talking Points Memo)   Tip for Wisconsin GOP: if you don't want someone to see your embarassing video, don't try to yank it off the net  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (212)
(Some Guy)   List of local counties among the "least healthiest". In related news, it is the exact same as the list of counties that have the least smartest news writers  (wnem.com) (20)
(Charlotte Observer)   Woman finds Polaroid photo of naked man, authorities....wait someone still has a Polaroid camera?  (charlotteobserver.com) (65)
(The Raw Story)   US Representative Jared Polis calls upon Congress to end marijuana prohibition  (rawstory.com) (291)
(Some Guy)   Nevada citizens beg for legalized gambling  (lvrj.com) (64)
(Sun Sentinel)   Sure, South Floridians may have high rates of sexually transmitted disease and alcohol abuse - but they aren't as fat as the rest of us  (sun-sentinel.com) (42)
(The New York Times)   Charging customers for checked bags leads to increased carry ons which leads to increased screeners which leads to charging customers more. Ta-daa  (nytimes.com) (95)
(CNNGo)   "If I feed them too much, they become lazy and don't eat the peoples' skin." Or, reassuring words from a fish masseuse  (cnngo.com) (54)
(Mother Nature Network)   The newest extreme sport: Daredevil lawn mower racing. "Ready, Set, Mow"  (mnn.com) (67)
(Some Guy)   The coolest works of 'art' made from ordinary household items that you'll see all day  (owni.eu) (51)
(Some Guy)   Passengers: "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" - Captain: "Flight crew, please prepare to divert the plane to Chicago"  (y100.com) (120)
(Fox News)   Texas judge sees the error of his ways, will no longer throw the good book at criminals  (foxnews.com) (138)
(Reuters)   TEPCO says $24 billion is not enough, puts their pinky to their lip and asks for ONE HUNDRED BILLION DOLLARS  (reuters.com) (128)
(CNN)   Tea Party now as unfavorable as the Republicans that comprise it  (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (412)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop theme: Bring something inanimate to life  (i.imgur.com) (25)
(Some Guy)   New poll indicates PBS is the most trusted name in news. Fox, not so much   (publicpolicypolling.blogspot.com) (222)
(Some Guy)   "Attention K-Mart shoppers: There's a blue light special on aisle 3, and a man exposing himself and playing with his genitals in the men's department"  (1035superx.com) (54)
(wmal.com)   Larry King will replace President Obama throwing out the first pitch at the Wash Nationals opener. Apparently they want someone who throws like an old man instead of someone who throws like a girl  (wmal.com) (51)
(AL.com)   Nitrous Oxide banned from recreational use. This is no laughing matter  (blog.al.com) (147)
(Lohud.com)   Possibly armed missing Alzheimer's patient may have a gun and is missing  (lohud.com) (52)
(St. Petersburg Times)   Your estranged wife has a date with another man. Do you c) Go to the hotel they're staying at and bust through the room window with a chainsaw  (tampabay.com) (111)
(WLSAM)   Airlines mishandle the luggage of the entire country of Peru  (wlsam.com) (22)
(The Local (Germany))   Old and busted: Eyeball shots. New hotness: tampons soaked in vodka  (thelocal.de) (105)
(My Fox DC)   New deodorant claims to make underarms prettier. Well, it's about time  (myfoxdc.com) (25)
(WLSAM)   Welcome to Chuck E. Cheese, may I take your order? I'd like two pizzas, one with sausage, one with pepper spray  (wlsam.com) (57)
(Croatian Times)   Chinese man pays £200,000 for a 375-horsepower Range Rover, ends up needing 2-donkeypower to get it back to the dealer  (croatiantimes.com) (67)
(Miami Herald)   Convicted murderer spends just over one year in prison granted parole, will be chumming it up with his pals in no time  (miamiherald.com) (25)
(pensacola news)   Any time a SWAT team is called during a story of a love triangle, you can be sure there's a plot tryst  (pnj.com) (12)
(Sky News)   Eight foot long mako shark catches himself  (news.sky.com) (38)
(My Fox DC)   Thirty years ago George Bush almost became president. Boy, were we lucky  (myfoxdc.com) (48)
(KFAB)   Let's face it, this guy is not helping dissuade folks from their "cops love donuts" stereotype  (kfab.com) (53)
(NPR)   Priests accused of abusing young boys often get off scott-free due to their expertise at slipping through the cracks undetected  (npr.org) (45)
(Denver Post)   Trucker chokes on apple, loses consciousness, crashes through concrete median, smacks chest on steering wheel, dislodges fruit, recovers. TA DAH  (denverpost.com) (25)
(Sandusky Register)   Ohio woman does what everyone else just dreams of doing, chokes the 71-year-old who asks to see her receipt at WalMart  (sanduskyregister.com) (328)
(Washington Post)   If we can ever get Gaddafi to leave Libya, here are some places where he could live in exile  (washingtonpost.com) (51)
(Washington Post)   GE's failure to pay US taxes on profits of $5.1 billion was covered by every major newspaper and network except for one. I woNder who could Be so Callous?  (washingtonpost.com) (162)
(Fox News)   TEPCO President checked into Tokyo hospital with hypertension. Sales at world's smallest violin store skyrocket  (foxnews.com) (85)
(Fox News)   PETA offers up a special, get your dog neutered, you can get neutered for free too  (foxnews.com) (132)
(American Thinker)   President Obama's explanation on why we went to "kinetic military activity" with Libya is based on a principle as old as the Balkans 1990s conflict...or Spiderman. With great power comes great responsibility  (americanthinker.com) (116)
(CNN)   Virginia Tech University fined $55,000 for not allowing its students and employees to adequately protect themselves in the 2007 shooting  (cnn.com) (120)
(My Fox DC)   "Preserve the historic structure" and "tear everything the f*** down" are so close in meaning, it's easy to see how they're often misunderstood  (myfoxdc.com) (47)
(wtsp.com)   Old and busted: Robbing a bank with a gun. New hotness: Robbing a bank with a hand grenade  (springhill.wtsp.com) (19)
(TMZ)   Pro Gay Wrestling Federation not happy that WWE announcer tweeted gay slur and was not punished. In other news, Pro Gay Wrestling Federation and WWE not the same organization  T-Shirt  (tmz.com) (163)
(This is Lincolnshire)   Yes, officer, for a moment I thought The Thing from the Fantastic Four was dead  (thisislincolnshire.co.uk) (30)
(Daily Mail)   Looks like Britney Spears will soon have one more mouth to feed  (dailymail.co.uk) (103)
(BBC)   President Assad of Syria vows to defeat "those who plot against our country". They're probably hiding out with the real killer of Nicole Brown  (bbc.co.uk) (39)
(Yahoo)   Today's timely submission (greenlight, ahem) is about Las Vegas' new mob attractions...one of which is opening today  (news.yahoo.com) (21)
(Chicago Tribune)   The last building standing in what was once known as Cabrini Green will fall today, ending years of violence, crime, and eliminating the second-biggest blight on Chicago after the Cubs  (chicagotribune.com) (265)
(Free Press)   Census data shows Detroit population falling 25% in last decade. City nickname to be changed from Motown to Lesstown  (freep.com) (100)
(WLKY)   Corrections officers find pot in inmate's anus, say the sad thing is the sh*t wasn't even that good  (wlky.com) (29)
(Some Guy)   "A Stapleton man is facing arson charges for allegedly starting a fire using his own excrement"  (statenisland.ny1.com) (51)
(WLSAM)   Hot former teacher gets probation and $300 fine for having sex with her 16-year old student on numerous occasions. Did she get off easy? You'll have to ask her victim. Bonus: she is from a pro-wrestling family  (wlsam.com) (129)
(Yahoo)   Farkers unite-- Let's crack this code and find a murderer. Difficulty: no reward or job offered. On the plus side, great story to tell at the Vegas party  (news.yahoo.com) (435)
(Boston Globe)   Photoshop this hot water barrel  (inapcache.boston.com) (21)
(Some Guy)   Oral sex cover blows up in editor's face, snatch yours before he's licked  (news4jax.com) (72)
(Talking Points Memo)   If you have one of the military's spy planes, you might not want to try selling it on eBay   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (50)
(Daily Mail)   In other news, USC students take their Trojan thing a little too seriously (Not safe for work-ish)  (dailymail.co.uk) (86)
(Press of Atlantic City)   Not news: sending kids' drawings to Daddy in prison. Fark: colored with drug-infused paint  (pressofatlanticcity.com) (37)
(Washington Post)   Perhaps Justice Scalia wouldn't get in car accidents if he rode a horse, like the Founding Fathers intended  (washingtonpost.com) (111)
(Daily Mail)   First, God has a wife, now there's metal books in a cave that could be the new Dead Sea Scrolls  (dailymail.co.uk) (270)
(CNN)   Check in your bags less than 24 hours before leaving? That's a fee. Bag weigh more than 40 pounds when the previous limit was 50? You bet your arse that's a fee, too  (cnn.com) (193)

Tue March 29, 2011
(LA Times)   Unidentified window washer electrocuted outside office building. Witnesses described him as having a pail complexion and smoldering eyes  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (62)
(WWSB ABC 7)   When going on a drug binge for the weekend, an appropriate place to drop off your child is A) Family member's house, B) Don't do drugs and watch the child yourself, or C) Totally random stranger's house (Hint: You are in Florida)  (mysuncoast.com) (80)
(Otago Daily Times)   Problem: your child ate some ants. Solution: feed them ant-killer  (odt.co.nz) (125)
(GreeNYC)   Photoshop this bizarre bird  (s.wsj.net) (50)
(WWL)   BP: We lost a laptop containing personal data on thousands of Gulf residents who have filed claims. Whoops, our bad  (wwl.com) (84)
(Chicago Tribune)   Anti-abortion billboard sends a rational message and ignites reasonable debate and haha you thought I was serious  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (446)
(Some Guy)   News: Woman rescued after being swallowed by a sinkhole in her yard. Fark: for the second time in a year  (plantcity.wtsp.com) (47)
(Some Guy)   Louis Garrett told reporters he only started work on his panty-quilt after he began dressing his mannequin collection in lingerie. That makes sense  (blogs.pitch.com) (86)
(FARK)   The final Vegas World Fark Party update, and some of Fark's favorite Headlines Of The Week for 3/20 - 3/26  (fark.com) (142)
(WWL)   Feds are considering manslaughter charges in BP oil disaster  (wwl.com) (114)
(Some Academic Guy)   They'd gotten undergraduate degrees; why couldn't they write in sentences?  (chronicle.com) (436)
(Some Guy)   US Airways flight from Philadelphia struck by bullet. It could be terrorism, but it's probably just an Eagles fan pissed off about something or another  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (102)
(Guardian.com)   Statistics show Scottish wife battering increases dramatically during soccer matches. Those savages will eat anything  T-Shirt  (guardian.co.uk) (75)
(Fox News)   Amateur skywatchers spot not so secret top secret Boeing-built U.S. Air Force X-37B space plane that blasted off from the Space Launch Complex 41 at Cape Canaveral Air Force Station in Florida  (foxnews.com) (125)
(Yahoo)   Ten signs that it's time to quit your job. Subby scored 18 out of 10  (news.yahoo.com) (226)
(Some Guy)   "I'd like to order a large pizza... (psst..when the driver gets here, lets rob him) Yeah and can I get some garlic rolls with that?"  (1035superx.com) (164)
(wtsp.com)   Best amateur video you will see all day of a T28 Warbird plane crashing into the bay  (saintpetersburg.wtsp.com) (75)
(Some Guy)   "I really don't know where I am. I just realized I'm impaled by something. I don't know what it is. I can't see. I can't move"  (kcci.com) (63)
(KOCO.com)   Cost of smokes too high? Do you A) Quit, B) Cut back on something else, or C) Assault the Clerk screaming "That's too much (expletive) money" ?  (koco.com) (237)
(Yahoo)   Protip: When you're on trial for forgery, don't show up with a phony doctors excuse  (news.yahoo.com) (22)
(BusinessWeek)   Caterpillar pays out $9 million to paralyzed construction worker instead of building him a bad-ass yellow and black diesel-powered exoskeleton  (businessweek.com) (71)
(SFGate)   Professional poker player clubs parents. No full house without two of a kind  (sfgate.com) (99)
(KnoxNews)   Man who shot and cannibalized a fellow pub patron claims alter ego named "Earl" was responsible. Also blames him for bad porn mustache, quirky views on karma, and always having eyes closed in photographs  (knoxnews.com) (65)
(Some Guy)   You know you're an ugly woman when you bare your breasts to men at a bar and the general consensus is one of shock and horror  (kitsapsun.com) (198)
(Washington Post)   Don't you just hate it when you're travelling in the Ukraine to join your hot Ukrainian wife, you're being abducted by the Mossad and wake up in an Israeli prison?  (washingtonpost.com) (176)
(Beatcalls)   Man uses the power of interpretive dance to chase off robbers from his store (w/ video)  (beatcalls.com) (47)
(Asbury Park Press)   Me and my two friends would like you to let us cut you in line. What two friends? Smith and Wesson [click]  (app.com) (36)
(Some Guy)   81-year-old nurse plans to keep working, ruining patients' sponge bath fantasies  (nevadaappeal.com) (30)
(Yahoo)   Gadgets you should get rid of: Desktop Computer  (finance.yahoo.com) (357)
(Some Guy)   Hit the road, jack  (kitsapsun.com) (45)
(Spiegel)   Photoshop these tomatoes in space  (spiegel.de) (40)
(My Fox DC)   When picking a guy to rob, the one that's milling around the park, in the afternoon, on a weekday isn't exactly going to turn out those big results you're looking for  (myfoxdc.com) (28)
(Some Fortunato)   For the love of god, Montresor, you can't drywall your kids into their room  (www2.insidenova.com) (170)
(Some Guy)   If you love something, let it go. If it doesn't come back, use drugs to kill it  (clickorlando.com) (15)
(Daily Mail)   Apparently it's a slow news day, so here's a house that looks like Hitler  (dailymail.co.uk) (109)
(CNNGo)   Shanghai prepares for massive increase in bi-curious population  (cnngo.com) (33)
(Daily Mail)   DIY tattoo kits now for sale. What could possibly go wrong?  (dailymail.co.uk) (235)
(Guardian.com)   Spain's campaign for its own Fark tag continues as people relieve worries about the economy by shooting at the feet of horses to make them dance  (guardian.co.uk) (23)
(Mother Nature Network)   Not to alarm you, but the earthquake in Japan is likely the first of many future megadisasters to strike our planet  (mnn.com) (201)
(wptv.com)   Newest Florida bumper sticker: My honor student pistol-whipped me  (wptv.com) (51)
(3 News New Zealand)   "Police not to blame for man's lost testicle"  (3news.co.nz) (47)
(News.com.au)   Halloween costume - $25. Tiny sequined hat - $10. Getting your photo in the newspaper for supergluing your tiny sequined hat to your head - Priceless  (news.com.au) (81)
(Kyodo News)   The nuclear cleanup workers: "They sleep in conference rooms and hallways in the building. To shield them from radiation from the floor, they cover themselves with lead-containing sheets"  (english.kyodonews.jp) (167)
(Some Guy)   If you plan on riding a dirt bike through a supermarket, keep in mind that automated doors are best used at walking pace  (heraldsun.com.au) (21)
(Gainesville Sun)   You don't tug on Superman's cape, you don't spit into the wind, and you don't give a man named "Stab" a ride home from the bar  (gainesville.com) (31)
(NYPost)   Man, it's hard to tweet without hands. #BronxZoosCobra #Winning-at-hide-and-seek   (nypost.com) (43)
(BigAl's Books and Pals)   Book reviewer gives below average review to book. Author sees review, complains in comments. Hilarity ensues  (booksandpals.blogspot.com) (394)
(YouTube)   Those of you who remember Kutiman's Mother of All Funk Chords might like his newest mix: My Favorite Color  (youtube.com) (39)
(The New York Times)   Old and busted: Illegal immigrants giving birth to American anchor babies. New hotness: Wealthy Chinese coming to the US on tourist visas to give birth to American anchor babies  (nytimes.com) (528)
(Nola.com)   In Soviet New Orleans, pole strokes you  (nola.com) (88)
(Some Guy)   News: Bullying in elementary schools is out of hand. Fark: It's the students bullying the teachers  (turnto23.com) (172)
(Spaceflight Now)   A space shuttle's deconstruction begins (pics)  (spaceflightnow.com) (191)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop theme: The goggles do something  (s3.amazonaws.com) (25)
(The Australian)   Not news: Mother kicked off bus because of her noisy baby. Fark: The baby was laughing too loud  (theaustralian.com.au) (111)
(Omaha World Herald)   Wrongfully convicted man, who spent 20 years in prison, dies in freak mining accident two months before marrying high school sweetheart he proposed to 30 years ago  (omaha.com) (115)
(CNN)   Scientists discover that getting burned feels just like getting - well - burned  (cnn.com) (44)
(Boston Herald)   Woman accused of smuggling drugs while wearing diaper. Alert custom officials immediately notice the crack  (news.bostonherald.com) (12)
(Daily Mail)   They're here  (dailymail.co.uk) (226)
(AZCentral)   Running out of beer is a bad thing. Having your 14 year old drive you to get more is worse  (azcentral.com) (28)
(YourTango)   "Why I Can't Stand Nice Guys," or "Why I'll be 47, single, and living with 20 cats I call my children"  (yourtango.com) (932)
(Some Guy)   The latest amazing story out of Japan: a Shih Tzu practically drags his 83-year-old owner away from the oncoming tsunami before it hit. This dog deserves steak  (yomiuri.co.jp) (52)
(Straits Times)   Men more likely to overrule GPS than women, stop in bat country  (straitstimes.com) (74)

Mon March 28, 2011
(News.com.au)   Coolest dad ever under fire for towing his son on a waterski with a helicopter. Bonus: not rich  (news.com.au) (44)
(Brand X)   Is craft beer too trendy? Three suave, trendy guys say no  (thisisbrandx.com) (281)
(The Week)   Can thorium make nuclear power safe?  (theweek.com) (385)
(WFTV)   As Florida cities desparately look for any funding source in the state's financial crisis, at least one town is taking an important step -- banning Jello and pudding wrestling  (wftv.com) (26)
(Some Guy)   Photoshop this roadside razor for hire  (2xus.com) (27)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune)   Driving around with a revoked licence, frosted windshield and running into cop cars is no way to go through life son (bonus: vehicle was red Toyota pickup)  (startribune.com) (51)
(CNBC)   Hot women don't want to pay for dinner. In other news, sky blue, water wet  (cnbc.com) (392)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen)   Riverside, Iowa, birthplace to Captain James Tiberius Kirk and host to the Midwest's biggest Star Trek convention, may be forced to end its annual Trek Fest due to lack of funds. I bet the Romulans are behind this  (press-citizen.com) (89)
(AP)   Emory University doctors complete historic transplant operation. Let's all give 'em a hand  (hosted.ap.org) (42)
(AJC)   Every $1 increase in gas prices saves 11,000 lives. So with 300 million US residents, that means if gas cost $27,000 a gallon, no one will ever die. Yay math  (ajc.com) (91)
(Auto Blog)   In a move that will surely be seen as uncontroversial, the European Union will announce plans to ban all fossil fuel-powered cars in Europe by 2050  (autoblog.com) (239)
(Nerve)   Couple tries to have a baby with their dead son. No, not like that, you sicko  (nerve.com) (87)
(Chicago Tribune)   VW adds a classic Beetle feature to the Jetta. If you use your horn, the engine shuts off  T-Shirt  (chicagobreakingbusiness.com) (205)
(CNNGo)   The Kalasha tribe of Pakistan. The most peaceful descendants of Alexander The Great you'll see today  (cnngo.com) (90)
(NW Florida Daily News)   Florida residents raise $1,100 for a new park, but the city says they are barking up the wrong tree  (nwfdailynews.com) (16)
(WWL)   Louisiana school relents, will allow girl to wear tux to prom, and it probably had nothing to do with a threat from the ACLU  (wwl.com) (145)
(NW Florida Daily News)   If you can't stand the heat, don't set your kitchen on fire  (nwfdailynews.com) (29)
(Daily Mail)   Male fashion guru says "A gentleman should NEVER wear shorts." In oher news, someone makes their living claiming to be a male fashion guru  (dailymail.co.uk) (464)
(Cincinnati Enquirer)   Barber expected to recover after getting a little off the top  (news.cincinnati.com) (16)
(Quad City Times)   Fill Sandbags for the Mississippi River Flood and we will fill you with Beer and Pizza  (qctimes.com) (41)
(ABC11 Raleigh)   Church pastor convinces mentally disabled nursing home resident that salvation is in his pants  (abclocal.go.com) (66)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer)   You really don't have many scruples if you can be bribed with fake palm trees and tiki huts  (cleveland.com) (31)
(AZCentral)   Dog, coyote, seem to have formed odd couple. Ralph and Sam not impressed  (azcentral.com) (76)
(Free Press)   Parents more likely to invent fake food allergies for their first-borns than for subsequent children. I guess the cachet of banning nuts and gluten for anyone within a 10-mile radius of your precious snowflake wears off after a while  (freep.com) (291)
(ABC Action News)   Children's book about pregnancy will remain on library shelves because some parents do tell their kids where penis goes  (abcactionnews.com) (73)
(Some Guy)   Subliminal (green) profanity (light) alleged (this) against (link) Calvin (please) Klein (thanks) billboard  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (129)
(Government Technology)   Draft legislation circulating that would require cops to get a warrant before using cell phone data to track suspects. No big deal, though, as CSI can just enhance conveniently located security camera footage  (govtech.com) (77)
(Yahoo)   If you've ever wanted to see the pyramids without the view being spoiled by mobs of tourists, right now would be a very good time to go  (news.yahoo.com) (50)
(Talking Points Memo)   Pro tip: If you're going to attack your political opponent for using a private jet, don't forget to pay $287,000 in taxes on your own  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (62)
(NewsOK)   Forget the missing cobra, the monkeys in Oklahoma City are a-feudin'  (newsok.com) (36)
(Orlando Sentinel)   Indy Car racing is so much more exciting than NASCAR because the crashes start before the race even begins  (orlandosentinel.com) (83)
(Some Guy)   Three of your classmates die in a horrible car accident. To honor their memory do you: A) Write a poem? B) Plant a tree? C) Do burnouts and doughnuts at the crash scene? "They were all cheering and s---"  (heraldsun.com.au) (77)
(Some Guy)   Not News: Daughter of politician arrested. News: Charged with sexual conduct & furnishing obscene materials to a minor. Fark: It's the same teen boy her mother is accused of doing. (with "you'd hit it" pic)  (big1059.com) (125)
(Some Guy)   Study: Shorter doctor hours does not impact patient safety, according to doctors  (1035superx.com) (33)
(Yahoo)   Founder of Burt's Bees to donate 120,000 acres of Maine wilderness she bought to neighboring national park  (news.yahoo.com) (87)
(NPR)   For profit prisons turning out to be monorail scams for small towns  (npr.org) (209)
(Some Guy)   I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a guy with two sharks on his head  (26.media.tumblr.com) (18)
(Geekologie)   Subby demands equal time to women's cup size greenlight, so here's map of penis sizes around the world. Average Dong is below average  (geekologie.com) (300)
(Some Guy)   Step 1: Fall down a well as a toddler. Step 2: Turn 25 yrs old. Step 3: Trust-fund profit  (big1059.com) (79)
(ABC News)   Defense Secretary Gates, "Much like Iraq, Libya is a discretionary war." Also...he loves still working for the new Bush in the White House. Same as the old Bush in the White House  (blogs.abcnews.com) (106)
(AOL News)   ♪ Man fixes turtle shells, turtle power ♪  (aolnews.com) (14)
(11 Alive)   Doctors find link between teenage depression and Facebook. And everything else  (11alive.com) (28)
(My Fox DC)   I have no idea what you're talking about, so here's a racoon with a peanut butter jar on his head. Fark: the kids named him Skippy  (myfoxdc.com) (23)
(Yahoo)   Small South Carolina town installs automatic speed cameras on a stretch of I-95; for $afety, of course  (news.yahoo.com) (82)
(Reuters)   Three atoms of radioactive iodine discovered in Massachusetts. Payback is a biatch  (reuters.com) (48)
(1.8 x 1.1 x 0.4 inches)   Photoshop this micro camera  (designboom.com) (29)
(Some Guy)   Hey kids, who needs to go to the bathroom? There's a Fark.com UFIA rest stop right ahead  (nbcwashington.com) (38)
(Some Guy)   "Hey, lets use the money that BP paid for the cleanup of the spill and use it for the state's bicentennial celebrations"  (big1059.com) (55)
(Some Guy)   "Police removed meth from various locations inside the apartment, including in the toilet water, and 3.5 grams from between Thompson's buttocks"  (wfie.com) (16)
(lehighvalleylive)   Maine residents create 1,000-pound whoopie pie, shaming Pennsylvanians who were only able to pull together a 250-pounder  (lehighvalleylive.com) (26)
(Some Guy)   Vicious thugs save man's life  (swns.com) (37)
(Some Guy)   Exposing yourself while yelling racial slurs is no way to go through life, son  (big1059.com) (32)
(MSNBC)   Libyan official claims woman who was gang-raped at a security checkpoint was asking for it by dressing like a prostitute  (msnbc.msn.com) (115)
(Some Guy)   Man picked up four times in one weekend in Australia's new catch-and-release program for drunk drivers  (thecourier.com.au) (11)
(EITB)   Sheep + Dog = Sheepdog? Chinese farmer claims his sheep gave birth to dog  (eitb.com) (45)
(Wall Street Journal)   According to the book "Great Soul", Mohandas Gandhi was cruel, racist, homosexual and a sexual deviant. Who knew?  (online.wsj.com) (141)
(News.com.au)   Russian womens' cups runneth over , but also suffer from a "man drought". Won't someone think of the Russian women?  (news.com.au) (62)
(Boston Herald)   Pro: You can hide a lot more cocaine in those adult sized diapers. Con: You'll probably attract more attention from the cops if you're just 22 years old wearing one  (bostonherald.com) (11)
(Yahoo)   Indian Navy continues its impressive Cinderella run with another impressive victory over the pirates, including a double-double by its leading scorer with 16 pirates captured and 16 hostages freed  T-Shirt  (news.yahoo.com) (17)
(CNN)   AT 2:00 PM today, the New York Times becomes irrelevant on the internet  (money.cnn.com) (72)
(Some Guy)   Air New Zealand's Richard Simmons safety video ... no, that should suffice  (slyoyster.com) (30)
(News.com.au)   Your honor, the fact that my client has a picture on his phone of the blindfolded and bleeding "alleged" torture victim, is in no way evidence that my client was ever at this crime scene  (news.com.au) (37)
(The Raw Story)   Environmentalists, Charlie Sheen rejoice upon learning that India's tiger population is on the rise  (rawstory.com) (27)
(Salon)   Get off your cross, you're a billionaire for Christ's sake  (salon.com) (181)
(YouTube)   Miniature horse gets life-saving prosthetic leg, but it'll take months for him to rehab and WHOOSH...holy shiat, where's Tom Durkin when you need him? (video)  (youtube.com) (25)
(CNN)   China kicks the US in yet another category. This time in numbers of executions with the US coming in 5th in the world wth only 46  (cnn.com) (83)
(Express)   Britain orders gay quiz for 11-year-olds, mandatory cootie testing  (dailyexpress.co.uk) (62)
(Yahoo)   Islamic Militants seize explosives factory in Yemen, promptly blow themselves up real good  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(Cracked)   Five important people who were screwed out of history books  (cracked.com) (91)
(My Fox DC)   Man dies after wearing a wet suit under two sweatsuits while wrapped in a waist band and running for hours on-end while on a 800 calorie a day diet. FARK: Mom says the US Army made him do it  (myfoxdc.com) (111)
(FOX6Now)   Most people fleeing the scene of an accident use their own car. Not this guy  (fox6now.com) (8)
(Fox News)   We can't stop here, this is banjo country. *screeeeech-crash*  (foxnews.com) (9)
(Starpulse)   In Germany, Homer Simpson now works at a coal power plant  (starpulse.com) (170)
(MSNBC)   FARK-Ready Headline "Whistle-blowing witch grounded by TSA "  (msnbc.msn.com) (74)
(TwinCities.com)   If you cheated and ordered a custom written paper online and it doesn't show up on time, do you: A) let it go and accept your fate, B) study like hell and give it your best shot, or C) complain to the Better Business Bureau?  (twincities.com) (37)
(Wall Street Journal)   This is not your average Shlitz Malt Liquor  (blogs.wsj.com) (34)
(Telegraph)   There are 50 books you should read before you die. These aren't them  (telegraph.co.uk) (164)
(Some Guy)   "My client is an idiot - and on the night in question he was a drunken idiot"  (swns.com) (11)
(Wall Street Journal)   Photoshop this surreal stage  (online.wsj.com) (26)
(Geekologie)   The world map of average breast cup size is screw the rest of this headline I'm busy planning my move to Russia  (geekologie.com) (½)
(Fox News)   What's black and white and red all over?  (foxnews.com) (93)
(The Smoking Gun)   I would strongly recommend against making direct eye contact with this week's Mugshot Roundup members  (thesmokinggun.com) (124)
(CNN)   Kick and cry all you want, tax revenue has to go up  (money.cnn.com) (1245)
(Sun Sentinel)   Idiots watching a truck crash cause 10 more accidents behind it. Cue Yakety Sax  (sun-sentinel.com) (45)

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