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Sun June 19, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Dumbass Your snowflake doesn't make the little league team. Do you c) Stalk and harass an official, send letters threatening his son, wife and daughter and make false accusations that he beats his children  (eastmeadow.patch.com) (66)
(My San Antonio) Cool Latest group to get on Facebook? Old fashioned clothes? Horse and buggy? Yep  (mysanantonio.com) (83)
(The New York Times) Obvious Step 1: Overuse radiation on patients. Step 2: Bill Medicare. Step 3: Profit. Step 4: Get Cancer. Step 5: More Profit  (nytimes.com) (49)
(Burlington Free Press) Hero Police arrest man for starting a community garden, DA refuses to prosecute. Hero tag is for the District Attorney  (burlingtonfreepress.com) (79)
(patch.com) Sick Remember the neighbor from hell who taunted the 7-year-old girl dying of Huntington's disease? She's not done being an asshole yet. Quoth her Facebook messages: "I'm going to visit a grave and take a piss"  (trenton.patch.com) (372)
(Sign On San Diego) Cool Deep. Fried. Kool. Aid  (signonsandiego.com) (97)
(Nola.com) Misc Want to give your dad a helicopter ride for Father's Day but can't afford it? Simple, take him a mile offshore and then capsize the boat  (nola.com) (17)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Running from the cops naked with a bag of cocaine hanging out of your anus is a great way to get on Fark, son  (wwltv.com) (39)
(Some Eccentric Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this lady looking at King Ludwig  (bigpicture.ru) (43)
(Some Guy) Scary Beware: The Ungulates  (summitdaily.com) (44)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Subby remembers this being a lot harder when he was a kid  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(Washington Post) Interesting Capitoline Venus goes where??  (washingtonpost.com) (41)
(Some Spontn80) Dumbass Dear Daddy, It's what I should have said but didn't. What would you say to your Dad today if you could?  (dangrigor.com) (448)
(AJC) Sick Guess what Patrick Molesti is being charged with 29 counts of... Go on, take a wild guess  (ajc.com) (84)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Teen sexting has gone mainstream, according to the media who has apparently just learned about it  (nydailynews.com) (61)
(Houston Chronicle) Spiffy "4. Leave tomatoes in the oven for 6-8 hours or overnight. 5. Remove, stuff your face, and float on a cloud of love"  (blog.chron.com) (90)
(Waterloo Courier) Silly Small town in Iowa tries to break world record of most oatmeal consumed in one sitting. (W/pic of someone who regrets taking part in the oatmeal challenge)  (wcfcourier.com) (27)
(Orlando Sentinel) Obvious Subby hopes they don't find "schoolgirls handcuffed to a bedpost" in his search history  (orlandosentinel.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Misc Garfield the cat statue is being relocated to save it from vandalism. Odie the humanity  (dailyjournal.net) (36)
(Yahoo) Cool Dedicated PI tracks down homeless man to tell him he'd inherited a fortune from a rich relative. No word on when the movie rights will be sold or which role Will Smith will play  (news.yahoo.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Misc Steve Irwin credited with giving Ohio deputy the skills to wrangle a python found outside a KFC. Snake trifecta complete  (abclocal.go.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Hero Unlimited bacon sandwiches: good Father's day idea, or best Father's Day idea ever?  (dailylocal.com) (60)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Spiffy Meet Kenzi Cleys: aspiring model, high school senior, and goat roper. Wait, what?  (startribune.com) (62)
(BBC) Fail Seriously - "Don't drive into the sea" warnings are NOT there just to scare tourists  (bbc.co.uk) (90)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Some dads get a coffee mug or a necktie on Father's Day. This father pulled the ol' switcheroo and gave his son a kidney  (orlandosentinel.com) (28)
(TC Palm) Florida I've fallen and I can't get up. [Like]  (tcpalm.com) (32)
(The Columbian) Silly Llama on the loose finally captured. All we're missing is the part when he turns into a human, and we could make this a Disney movie  (columbian.com) (52)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this officer on top of a train  (inapcache.boston.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Scary Russia wants everyone to know the U.S. government has ordered a total news blackout regarding crippled Nebraska nuclear power plant  (nation.com.pk) (222)
(News.com.au) Strange Sunbathing woman gets third-degree burns on breast caused by metal underwire. Promptly hires lawyer to file a swim suit  (news.com.au) (83)
(Discovery) Strange The conversation would probably start with "How YOU doin"  (blogs.discovery.com) (34)
(Some Girl) Sad You know, we've always liked that word "gargantuan" and so rarely have an opportunity to use it in a sentence  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (90)
(Some Ssssnake) Dumbass Protip: Taking your snake camping isn't the best idea  (wtsp.com) (31)
(Seattle Times) Followup Worst Korean soldiers avoid punishment for missing passenger jet by agreeing to take more target practice  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (31)
(NYPost) Hero Almost 52-year-old subby just hides his head in shame. 60-year-old GILF completes the Marathon-in Every-State tour. In just over four hours for the last one. Hero tag because there is no AWESOME tag  (nypost.com) (73)
(Sun Journal (Maine)) Obvious Air traffic controllers and Greyhound bus drivers aren't the only ones that want to nap on the job  (sunjournal.com) (17)
(MSNBC) Obvious Pilots sentenced to 15 years for paying Somali pirate ransom may be able to buy their freedom  (msnbc.msn.com) (67)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Man drinks six bottles of hand sanitiser, doesn't get away clean  (news.com.au) (56)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Judge gives high school band director three years to learn the proper fingerings  (nj.com) (30)
(Flickr) Caption Caption this beer summit  (farm4.static.flickr.com) (42)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Neighborhood watch too boring? Just falsely accuse your neighbor of murdering his wife and watch the K9 unit make hamburger out of his upper arm  (chron.com) (138)
(Some Guy) Hero Happy Father's Day to all you daddy Farkers, or Dads of Farkers. Here are the top ten dad-related world records   (community.guinnessworldrecords.com) (110)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Attention poor people: You are less important than azaleas  (huffingtonpost.com) (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this vicious killing machine  (i.imgur.com) (36)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Conceptual artist to hug his dad for 24 hours in a boxing ring to celebrate Father's Day. Your dad has never been happier just to get a phone call  (orlandosentinel.com) (24)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Ever want to just shoot yourself after shopping in KMart? Well ... about that  (tampabay.com) (24)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool noʎ uo buıʇunoɔ ןןɐ ǝɹ,ǝʍ ˙ʞɔnן poob ɥʇoq noʎ ןןǝʇ oʇ ʇuɐʍ ʇsnظ ı  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (52)
(Fox News) Fail News: Teen pulls gun on clown walking home from children's fundraiser. Fark: Clown is off-duty cop. Homie don't play that  (foxnews.com) (93)
(fox sports) Asinine Not news: Australia holds kickboxing event. News: Featured fight ends in a draw, each participant getting $100. FARK: 7 year old and 8 year old girls  (foxsports.com.au) (61)
(Metafilter) Scary The grandmother of a Metafilter user is missing in San Francisco, could our good buddies at Fark lend a hand?  (metatalk.metafilter.com) (78)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Elementary school principal forced to resign after parents learned he liked giving kids birthday spankings. You submitted this with a caught spankof  (desmoinesregister.com) (104)
(Omaha World Herald) Followup Nebraska officially declared a disaster. But enough about the football team, Obama says the whole state's a wash  (omaha.com) (76)


Sat June 18, 2011
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this pumice picture  (inapcache.boston.com) (20)
(Huffington Post) Fail Financial tip: If the IRS mistakenly deposits $110,000 into your bank account, don't get withdrawal symptoms  (huffingtonpost.com) (176)
(NJ.com) Followup The Big Man to play in the Promised Land: Legendary Springsteen sideman Clarence Clemons has passed away  (nj.com) (253)
(The News Tribune) Sad Noooooo! Woman killed by steam roller  (thenewstribune.com) (141)
(BBC) Followup After admitting their lack of preparedness for a zombie apocalypse, British town invaded by the undead  (bbc.co.uk) (59)
(Some Guy) Misc "Portland police are asking the naked bike riders to wear a helmet and shoes to avoid potential injuries"  (kptv.com) (87)
(MSNBC) Fail South Korean military fires on what they believed to be a North Korean fighter jet. Fark: It was a commercial jet. Total Fark: 10 minutes of firing, never hit the jet  (msnbc.msn.com) (97)
(truTV) Dumbass 15 classic dishes from American cities... and why they suck  (trutv.com) (515)
(Daily Bulletin) Amusing San Dimas burglars give cops excellent adventure by fleeing into the hills like a couple wyld stallyns  (dailybulletin.com) (39)
(Guinness World Records) Interesting Is it a Guinness World record? No, and your idea was stupid to begin with  (guinnessworldrecords.com) (63)
(SlashFilm) Followup Ladies and gentlemen, it's the full length Muppets trailer. YAYYYYYYY  (slashfilm.com) (190)
(Wall Street Journal) Cool The Wiffle Ball has been a hit since 1959. Here comes the history  (online.wsj.com) (52)
(The Morning Call) Spiffy Authorities say Quakertown teacher's prom weekend affair with 17 year old student is no laughing matter  (mcall.com) (64)
(LA Times) Fail The L.A. Times best burgers. The list farking fails without In-N-Out  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (285)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Plug Three injured in cowboy shootout in South Dakota. This is not a repeat from 1871. Tag is for what them varmints are full of  (startribune.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshp the AquaDom  (i.imgur.com) (32)
(MSNBC) Scary Mexican drug cartels hire hitmen who are the meanest, cruelest people on Earth: A) ex-KGB agents, B) African mercenaries, C) Teenage girls  (msnbc.msn.com) (108)
(News.com.au) Obvious Psychologist says lazy parents responsible for kids doing poorly at school  (news.com.au) (82)
(Columbus Dispatch) Interesting Dad stands up to internet tough girls  (dispatch.com) (249)
(Short List) Fail Bad news for artists: a robot can now draw portraits. Good news for artists: he's a bit shiat  (shortlist.com) (41)
(wtsp.com) Florida Over 7,000 students accused of cheating on standardized tests in Florida. In related news, over 7,000 students pass standardized tests in Florida  (wtsp.com) (34)
(Some Bored Guy) Florida Slow news day? Need to kill some time? Here's a slideshow of 270 mugshots. Come for the Carolina Panthers cheerleader, stay for the Florida weirdness  (wtsp.com) (37)
(WMTW.com) Amusing A Maine elementary school principal, dressed as a ballerina hippo, was seen dancing on the school roof. Apparently, nobody has a problem with this... although there is video evidence  (wmtw.com) (33)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary 5.2 magnitude earthquake rocks Anchorage. Shaken residents trying to get their Berings Strait  (chicagotribune.com) (59)
(Daily Mail) Interesting The biggest threat of ecological disaster....WIND FARMS. So, what now Al Gore?  (dailymail.co.uk) (224)
(Seattle Times) Caturday Cooper the cat - photographer, media personality, and author - makes enough money to not only pay for his own cat food, but to make donations to the local animal shelter. Your cat just yawns and goes back to sleep to wait for Caturday  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (825)
(Telegraph) Obvious Pakistan continues to help in the War on Terror by cutting off supplies to US base responsible for drone attacks  (telegraph.co.uk) (163)
(KTLA) Dumbass Fark-ready headline: Man falls to death while flying kite at work  (ktla.com) (20)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida A drunk woman ran into her ex yesterday. Then she backed up and ran into him again. She misses him sometimes  (orlandosentinel.com) (28)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida In some cultures, a person throws a shoe at another person as the ultimate sign of disrespect. In Florida it's what men do when their wives won't have sex with them  (nwfdailynews.com) (20)
(CBC) Sappy Vancouver riots Kissing Couple found. There's something in my eye. Probably pepper spray  (cbc.ca) (86)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this back alley barter  (i.imgur.com) (17)
(Miami Herald) Florida Man bit by at least 172 venomous snakes dies... Of natural causes... At 100 years old  (miamiherald.com) (45)
(Retrocrush) Ironic Horrible Fathers of The Bible  (retrocrush.com) (82)
(Post Crescent) Amusing Fat, drunk and passed out at a Taco Bell Drive-thru is no way to go through life, son. And don't call the female cop "honey"  (postcrescent.com) (25)
(Some Newspaper) Obvious Problem: You're a teacher caught in an improper relationship with a student. Solution: Marriage  (tylerpaper.com) (63)
(The Smoking Gun) Sad Oh, quit crying. The Mugshot Roundup's finally here  (thesmokinggun.com) (120)
(ABC Action News) Florida Pharmacy robber literally has his ass beaten w/ baseball bat. "The suspect fled and was found a short time later in a nearby ditch, wearing only underwear." Yes, Oxycontin was involved  (abcactionnews.com) (78)


Fri June 17, 2011
(Quad City Times) Obvious "Lane zippers" are the cause of more traffic headaches and crashes because they're in too big of a hurry to actually READ THE F*CKING ROAD SIGNS  (qctimes.com) (211)
(Yahoo) Florida A fight breaks out in line for tickets to a trial. Yes, of course it's Florida  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(Washington Post) Sick Fourth-grade-teacher not only downloaded child porn videos, he customized it to include images of his former students  (washingtonpost.com) (113)
(Some "After" Guy) Photoshop "Before & After" Photoshop Challenge: Make this "before" slacker look respectable  (i1208.photobucket.com) (68)
(MSNBC) Interesting Are you ready for Miss Duct Tape? Ohhhh yeahhhh  (msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(KCRG-TV) Sad Dying man's last request: "I want to see my dog." (with video)  (kcrg.com) (194)
(The Morning Call) Asinine Family of guinea pigs stolen from porch. Police kick their investigation into high Gere  (mcall.com) (65)
(MSNBC) Strange High school boy's mother challenges him to wear high heels to school to see what it's like, then it gets weird  (msnbc.msn.com) (88)
(ABC News) Spiffy Small rural town of Phil Campbell, Alabama, devastated by recent tornado, gets help from around the world from people named Phil Campbell. A truly great phil-anthropic gesture  (abcnews.go.com) (35)
(Hartford Courant) Dumbass Apparently Craigslist is not the best place to buy your pot  (courant.com) (120)
(The Sun) Weird Father locks son in box. His 21 year-old son. For stealing chickens  (thesun.co.uk) (77)
(CNN) Followup That video those two guys made while they were stuck overnight at the airport? Yup, it's got security officials in tizzy  (cnn.com) (142)
(Bon Appetit) Interesting Bon Appetit declares Texas the home of the best BBQ in America. That settles that  (bonappetit.com) (425)
(Denver Post) Dumbass "Man tried to douse fatal fire with beer." Why yes, alcohol was involved  (denverpost.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Weird French Christians believe the world is ending, surrender  (heraldsun.com.au) (45)
(Boing Boing) Weird A 1940s ad for a "treatment for prostatitis" *wink*  (boingboing.net) (118)
(Kansas City) Interesting Kansas winter wheat harvest moves north because of severe droughts in the south. If only there were some type of scientific theory that had predicted this  (kansascity.com) (113)
(BBC) Sick British man jailed for keeping pony and goats in cellar, and no, that's not some weird British slang  (bbc.co.uk) (26)
(BBC) Interesting The good news: China injects another $120B into the US economy  (bbc.co.uk) (73)
(Some Trump Duck) Florida If you are the one who drove off in the giant dump truck pulling a trailer and a skid steer, Lakeland Police would like a word with you  (lakeland.wtsp.com) (8)
(Discover) Followup Hey, remember how the lack of sunspots was going to be plunge us into an Ice Age? Yeah, about that  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (109)
(WPXI) Amusing Man armed with toilet, whiskey, and stick tries to take on a police officer with a taser. Surprisingly this did not happen in Florida  (wpxi.com) (15)
(Pat's Papers) Interesting If you want lots of sex, move to LA. If you want good sex, move to Philly. If you want okay sex once in a while, stay in Chicago  (patspapers.com) (191)
(PennLive) Stupid Man fined for using monkey as household helper without a permit. An ape-peal is in the works  (pennlive.com) (29)
(Some Falling Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what everyone is watching coming over the falls  (img-fotki.yandex.ru) (36)
(NPR) Cool Why you see shapes in clouds. The wrong shapes, sure, but still  (npr.org) (30)
(Yahoo) Sick WTF Japan  (news.yahoo.com) (272)
(Some Sheila) Spiffy Fark-ready headline: "Down Under Research Links HPV Vaccine With Cervical Cancer Prevention"  (medicalnewstoday.com) (39)
(ABC News) Strange Charges against Osama bin Laden dropped. My God, he was innocent after all  (abcnews.go.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Weird Wandering dog sentenced to death by stoning because it is possessed by a dead lawyer. Your dog wants an exorcist  (ynetnews.com) (61)
(STV.tv) Fail You are through to Pakistani wedding hotline. Press one to marry, two to divorce, or hang up to annul marriage  (news.stv.tv) (7)
(Some Guy) Florida Every once in a while someone makes an argument that Florida isn't the only state deserving of its own tag. Then Florida goes and proves them wrong  (tampabay.metromix.com) (105)
(the daily breeze) Dumbass It's true, I'm a cop and I must place this tracking device in your bra while I fondle you  (dailybreeze.com) (39)
(CNN) Spiffy UN Council passes gay rights resolution, which means that Red States should start getting their own strongly worded letters any day now  (cnn.com) (237)
(Yahoo) Strange Man arrested at the U.S. border. Iguana meat seized had an estimated street value of $4,500  (news.yahoo.com) (59)
(USA Today) Cool Rare street-light linked to your mom  (usatoday.com) (11)
(USA Today) Stupid Starting next week, BoA is raising its credit card fees from "rape" to "rape rape"  (usatoday.com) (228)
(Yahoo) Obvious Saudi women begin challenge to driving ban, have already begun top secret classes on how to apply make-up in traffic  (news.yahoo.com) (72)
(New Scientist) Interesting New software reveals there are actually no women on the internet  (newscientist.com) (55)
(wtsp.com) Florida Today's "guy finds out when they start digging his pool that his house was actually built on a giant garbage dump" story brought to you by Lakeland  (wtsp.com) (45)
(FARK) Obvious Seven days. Eleven questions. Sarcasm, alcohol, possible nudity ahead. No, not summer camp  (fark.com) (23)
(The Smoking Gun) Scary From employing a "whizzinator" to attempted strangulation, it's time to match faces to felonies in this week's Friday Photo Fun  (thesmokinggun.com) (15)
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Want your iPhone to smell like jellybeans? There's a smartphone case for that  (mnn.com) (21)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Man who admitted forty eight beers was maybe ten too many immediately offered an Admin job by Drew  (tampabay.com) (28)
(Yahoo) Interesting Mexico arrests 'El Brad Pitt,' alleged drug lord and fan of wishful thinking, apparently  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(USA Today) Obvious 50% of college graduates think they're above average, and they're at least half right  (usatoday.com) (79)
(AJC) Obvious Apparently THE P0LICE DON'T LIKE IT WHEN Y0U LEAVE YOUR BABY WITH SOME OLD BLIND GUY IN A HOTEL ROOM WHILE YOU GO DIGGING THROUGH TRASH CANS  (ajc.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Dumbass New Jersey man stops car to poke rattlesnake with stick. Idiots + snakes trifecta in play  (lohud.com) (58)
(Reuters) Weird Tiny French village is threatened by Apocalypse sects. Says it's better than no sects at all  (reuters.com) (31)
(Short List) Amusing How to stop disappointing your dad in time for Father's Day  (shortlist.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Amusing Who knew the Israeli police had a problem like this? (scroll down to last photo)  (thethrottle.thechive.com) (63)
(Boing Boing) Cool In the US, postal workers respond to the soul crushing monotony of their jobs with alcohol and occasional outbursts of murderous violence. In Ghana, postal workers do this instead  (boingboing.net) (25)
(Washington Post) Strange Just because you are an anarchist collective does not mean you can't also run a successful dog-walking business  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(Some lucky soldier) Hero Best Father's Day gift ever - soldier gets to meet his newborn son. Is someone cutting onions in here?  (wtsp.com) (97)
(Yahoo) Asinine Attn Travellers: While banks are happy to collect billions in fees from you annually; they can't be bothered to issue a credit card that is sure to work in Europe unless you shell out $100/yr for it  (news.yahoo.com) (109)
(NPR) Interesting In the market for a few stolen credit cards but don't know where to find them? No problem, NPR's got your back  (npr.org) (39)
(AZCentral) Interesting Companion dog helps girl testify in NY rape case. How did he treat you? Rough. Can you describe his face? Rough. Is the man in the courtroom? Yip Yip. Let the record show the girl is pointing to the defendant  (azcentral.com) (42)
(CNN) Cool Ever wondered what happened to those little bars of half-used soap you leave lying all over your hotel bathroom?  (cnn.com) (108)
(Some Guy) Obvious It's finally happened, "Fark News reporter" Ric Romero actually publishes a story that is actually helpful and not ruthlessly obvious  (abclocal.go.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Florida "Oh my God. Oh my God. Two guys broke into my house . . . I had to chop one of them up"  (tcoasttalk.com) (69)
(WQOW) Sad Huffing aerosol keyboard cleaner in office supply store's parking lot is no way to live your life, nurse  (wqow.com) (54)
(Yahoo) Strange In Montana, the cause of any given power outage may just be the deer stuck in the power lines...50 feet off the ground  (news.yahoo.com) (44)
(Some Berry Picker) Obvious This summer's Bilberry crop is predicted to be better than average. Boo Berry and Dingleberry estimates unavailable  (hs.fi) (44)
(Washington Post) Followup "Nothing suspicious" found in vehicle that merely closed every road near the Pentagon this morning, according to an FBI official  (washingtonpost.com) (39)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Roads around the Pentagon were closed after officers found a suspicious vehicle and arrested a man they say had al Qaeda-related statements in a backpack containing ammonium nitrate and spent 9mm shells. Otherwise known in DC as - rush hour  (myfoxdc.com) (14)
(Some Guy) Amusing Not News: Model suing Estee Lauder because of an ad. Fark: for making her look old by not photoshopping her face  (beautyhigh.com) (62)
(TC Palm) Florida Nothing says marital bliss better than a good smack in the face with a peanut butter sandwich  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (27)
(KTRH) Spiffy Texas Senator has the gall to ask a guy who has lived in the US for 23 years why he doesn't give his testimony in English  (ktrh.com) (528)
(MSNBC) Cool Problem 1: There are lots of poor people in PA who don't have enough to eat. Problem 2: LaGuardia Airport has lots of geese that are dangerous to airplanes. Hmmmm  (msnbc.msn.com) (47)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida C3 H8 O NO  (sun-sentinel.com) (31)
(Kiplinger.com) Obvious Ten cars that refuse to die. Unlike that piece of junk rusting in your garage that you'll 'get around' to fixing one day  (kiplinger.com) (170)
(Yahoo) Interesting Greek PM sacrifices finance chief, appoints rival, will answer a riddle and do his mom later in the month  (news.yahoo.com) (20)
(Bloomberg) Followup IT'S JUST BEEN REVOKED  (bloomberg.com) (60)
(Baltimore Sun) Hero Welcome to Baltimore Don't tickle the police on the back of the neck. They'll beat you to death with an umbrella  (baltimoresun.com) (44)
(Daily Mail) Stupid You know it's a high-class brawl when you get beaned with a $150 bottle of champagne  (dailymail.co.uk) (31)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this fish-eye lens  (richworks.in) (26)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Body of a competitive billiards player found in pond. Tough break  (chicagobreakingnews.com) (71)
(News.com.au) Scary In Russia, man shoots wife instead of pig. WHAT A COUNTRY‼  (news.com.au) (25)
(Hot Air) Interesting Weiner has a new job offer. so hustle over to the only person who will give you some flynt to light up  (hotair.com) (108)
(NPR) Obvious In 5-to-4 vote, SCOTUS rules that juveniles have rights. Sort of  (npr.org) (145)
(MLive.com) Dumbass Biological evidence proves man innocent of rape. Detroit prosecutor ignores evidence, opposes new trial. One-armed man unavailable for comment  (mlive.com) (185)
(Nashua Telegraph) Sick Man charged with using pool as commode expected to use the "Baby Ruth" defense  (nashuatelegraph.com) (24)
(WUSA 9) Asinine Ho-hum: County gov't shuts down kids' lemonade stand. News: County also fines parents $500. Fark: The kids were raising money for pediatric cancer  (wusa9.com) (207)
(Seattle Times) Fail Quiz: Are you ready to escape from prison? Question 1: After escaping, you (c) knock on the door of a cabin where a prison guard is staying, and ask to use the phone  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (26)
(MSNBC) Obvious Psychology professor gives an in-depth explanation detailing why sports fans riot. He could have saved a lot of time and just said "beer"  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Interesting That guy that lit himself on fire just released his 15 page rant. It's about a guy screwed by the system, Second Set of Books  (sentinelsource.com) (142)
(Some Guy) Fail Turn right down boat ramp. Vehicle under water. Recalculating  (katu.com) (53)
(Mirror.co.uk) Sad Real-life castaway could be forced out of driftwood shack where he's been living for 26 years. WILSON (w/pics)  (mirror.co.uk) (113)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Hot teacher "Deeply embarrassed" that she was caught screwing a 14 year old student. Student deserves a Hero Tag  (dailymail.co.uk) (115)
(Some Guy) Dumbass SWAT sniper shoots wrong woman during standoff. Blames it on (spins wheel) the woman switching clothes during the standoff  (kpho.com) (85)


Thu June 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this spiral staircase  (richworks.in) (21)
(Al Jazeera) Sad 2 years after they took off, passengers from Air France Flight 447 finally arrive at their destination  (english.aljazeera.net) (46)
(MSNBC) Stupid Julian Assange, who has spent the past six months living on a 600-acre British country estate, complains that he's being treated like "a caged animal"  (msnbc.msn.com) (47)
(Reuters) Followup Governor Jerry Brown joins the fracas by landing a haymaker on the State Legislature over their stupid budget. Come quietly to the camps  (reuters.com) (59)
(Daily Mail) Scary Great Moments in Socialized Medicine #4,901: NHS doctors decide whether to operate on breast tumors based on the patients' age. Before they meet the patients. Don't worry; you'll be fine as long as you're under 50  (dailymail.co.uk) (156)
(CBS Minnesota) Asinine Minnesota Twins security guard tells lesbian couple after kissing at ballgame, "You can't do that here. In this stadium we adhere to the 10 Commandments"   (minnesota.cbslocal.com) (197)
(Fox News) Stupid Having solved all the suffering of its human population, San Francisco turns it attention to goldfish  (foxnews.com) (77)
(Funny Or Die) Silly 7 ways that Paul Simon never heard about  (funnyordie.com) (17)
(LA Times) Silly High school yearbooks recalled after it's discovered they contain "child pornography". Namely, a picture of a 17 year old trying to feel up his date at a school dance  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (136)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Dear Texas Republican Legislators, kindly go f*ck yourselves. Love, Texas teachers  (chron.com) (722)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Murder a kid and 3 others and the charge was reduced to obstructing religious freedom? What the hell Texas?  (katu.com) (70)
(Some Guy) Florida AND HE'S OFF. CEO running out of his office. CEO rounds turn one to the elevator. HE WENT IN. This is all over, folks  (blogs.trb.com) (41)
(cfnews13.com) Interesting Pentagon looking for people to build starship. Starship looking for people to build this city on rock and roll  (cfnews13.com) (224)
(Telegraph) Sad Iran follows long tradition of having monkeys test safety of spacecraft, make policy decisions  (telegraph.co.uk) (43)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Today's teacher sex scandal comes to you from Allentown, where our fathers fought the Second World War, and the teachers play community whore  (mcall.com) (36)
(mashable.com) Hero Our long national nightmare is over: Rebecca Black has taken her Friday video off of YouTube  (mashable.com) (174)
(Toronto Sun) Florida Say what you will about Florida, any state that can combine dessert and beer can't be all bad  (torontosun.com) (26)
(Nola.com) Asinine State legislature takes bold step to ensure public safety by allowing Mercedes drivers to watch TV at 75 miles per hour  (nola.com) (32)
(Reuters) Florida Just when you thought it couldn't get any sicker: Defense attorney asks Casey Anthony if her brother could be Caylee's father  (reuters.com) (89)
(KTLA) Asinine Good: California lawmakers pass a budget plan on time for the first time in 25 years. Bad: Things get all punchy in the process  (ktla.com) (156)
(Science Daily) Spiffy Scientists reporting development of first self-powered nano-device that can transmit data wirelessly over long distances. I made an ashtray once. I think it looked nice  (sciencedaily.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Scary Al Qaeda publishes "hit list" of 40 Americans. No details as to who's on it, but your mom's not listed, since everyone hit it already  (nbcnewyork.com) (79)
(Fox News) Stupid Middle school has students complete survey that includes questions like "have you ever had oral sex?" Yes, some people have a problem with it. "You're talking about kids who probably don't even know what oral sex is"  (foxnews.com) (134)
(RealClearPolitics) Fail The Obama Administration finally tells the truth on their success of job creation: "We've created more than 2.1 private sector jobs"  (realclearpolitics.com) (88)
(STLToday) Unlikely Local Hooters waitress says her entry into bikini contest will help her toward her goal of becoming an astronaut  (stltoday.com) (68)
(FARK) Interesting Snark all you like, but nwarlick got his 2nd greenlight in 2 days  (fark.com) (495)
(Space) Cool NASA says Cassini spacecraft orbiting Saturn has minor short circuit. NASA became suspicious when the craft kept sending an annoying "WHO IS JOHNNY?" message over and over  (space.com) (49)
(BBC) Spiffy Ring out the bells: Young bearded tits have been spotted at Radipole Lake  (bbc.co.uk) (18)
(The Week) Amusing 9 ridiculous covers for books about Steve Jobs  (theweek.com) (18)
(The Times of India) Asinine Hey, Greece You've squandered all the money you've ever had, you don't EVAR pay your bills, and you have the lowest credit rating of any country on the planet. So here's 110 billion dollars for free kthxbye   (economictimes.indiatimes.com) (111)
(Washington Post) Interesting If you picked Ayman al-Zawahiri as the new al-Qaeda leader, drone target, step up and claim your prize (reach into that box of cracker jacks to find your prize)  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(AM New York) Obvious Legalized beekeeping in New York City leads to swarms of bees. ""There's a perceived danger, but truly, they're docile, friendly and just looking for a home in Nic Cage's eyes"  (amny.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Weird Man burns outside of courthouse in New Hampshire; Live free or die in a fire  (wmur.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshp this semi shakedown  (i.imgur.com) (21)
(NJ.com) Unlikely Your cat may have been a Roman general in a past life. In other news, somehow newspapers are losing money  (nj.com) (63)
(BBC) Strange The Running of the Bulls in Barcelona takes a startling new twist  (bbc.co.uk) (38)
(KTVZ) Cool Atheists raise funds for vandalized churches. "Word of Sunday night's tagging spread to Pastafarian members with the Church of The Flying Spaghetti Monster and atheists across the country"  (ktvz.com) (224)
(Huffington Post) Fail KFC: Buy a HALF-GALLON of soda -- with 800 calories from 56 spoonfuls of sugar -- for $2.99 and a buck goes to Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation  (huffingtonpost.com) (204)
(Daily Mail) Interesting After a decrease in bar fights and incidents of drunken violence in every state that allows guns in bars, Ohio decides to join in. Of course some people have a problem with this  (dailymail.co.uk) (224)
(Statesman) Asinine You: "I've been working on this cancer drug. Can I have $4.5M?" Texas: "No." You: "But I know Rick Perry, and I've invested $1,000 of my own money." Texas: "Here's your money"  (statesman.com) (38)
(Hartford Courant) Strange The number "39," which is a synonym for pimp and a mark of shame, is making it hard to sell a car in Afghanistan. Who knew?  (courant.com) (64)
(MSNBC) Sick Duggar family welcomes yet another of their unholy spawn into the world  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (284)
(Government Technology) PSA Did you know we have a national CIO? Well, he quit  (govtech.com) (55)
(The Battalion) Sad You know Texas edumacation policy is farked when it takes a series of articles to explain just how farked it is  (thebatt.com) (42)
(Google) Amusing A 28-year-old writer self-published a satire "childrens book" titled "Let's Kill All The Belgians: A Child's Guide To Genocide" for his friends. And then the Belgians found out about it  (translate.google.com) (104)
(El Paso Times) Interesting Court upholds search of man's underpants  (elpasotimes.com) (30)
(Discover) Amusing Top 10 reasons we have so many Top 10 lists. Subby could only feel more meta if it were a slideshow   (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (36)
(wtae.com) Scary Wife of MLB player attacked in road rage incident; player watches but is unable to help  (wtae.com) (170)
(AJC) Amusing Weave thieves steal $30 gs then leave. Wait, that doesn't rhyme  (ajc.com) (35)
(The Morning Call) Weird Kmart plaza had Bluelight Special on controlled detonations  (mcall.com) (13)
(NYPost) Dumbass Today's teacher sex scandal comes from a Catholic high school (+2) in Staten Island (-1) in which a 29-year-old teacher (+2) was allegedly involved with a 16-year-old girl (+seat right there)  (nypost.com) (103)
(Oregon Live) Sick Man urinates in water reservoir, prompts city to dispose of 7.8 million gallons of drinking water at a cost of $36,100; best part: they find dead animals in the water all the time and don't dump it  (oregonlive.com) (209)
(Some Guy) Strange Gun beats sword. Sword beats fist. Fist beats mother. Taser beats perp  (ksat.com) (17)
(Nerve) Stupid Catholic University is getting rid of co-ed dorms to prevent hook-ups, because no college student ever had sex before 1970  (nerve.com) (44)
(Gizmodo) Asinine Government blowing hundreds of millions on unnecessary gadgets? Can I get a job driving Porsches for the Department of Justice?  (gizmodo.com) (40)
(wtsp.com) Florida Today's alligator takes a dip in a public pool brought to you by Tampa  (wtsp.com) (15)
(Yahoo) Spiffy OTIS to upgrade Empire State Building elevators. So I guess they will be able to spot and kill demons then?  (news.yahoo.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Scary Twin sisters compete with each other to be thinner, find the precious  (dailymail.co.uk) (173)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Nude female scientist dives with Beluga whales in the Arctic (w/pictures of naked scientist)  (dailymail.co.uk) (231)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Cashier forces robber to buy a pack of gum to open the cash register he is stealing from [video goodness]  (sun-sentinel.com) (10)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious Let's see: Pope, Berlin, Olympic stadium. Anal Bum Covers? Sorry. What is: Anal Bum Covers?  (torontosun.com) (27)
(MSNBC) Hero Pilot won't pull up plane unless passenger pulls up baggy pants  (msnbc.msn.com) (250)
(Yahoo) Interesting Greece has fallen...again. Will there be anyone to pick up all the broken marble from the statues... again?  (news.yahoo.com) (93)
(Telegraph) Dumbass British nurses are banned from showing cleavage, or their midriff. The real question is why ...WHY???  (telegraph.co.uk) (171)
(WFTV) Florida Guess where the man bitten by his "pet" African Puff Ader lives  (wftv.com) (57)
(Abc.net.au) Asinine How often does "Attack on toddler" and "grog pricing debate" appear together in a headline?  (abc.net.au) (31)
(9 News) Obvious Actual headline: Inflation means you will pay more this summer  (9news.com) (21)
(Metro) Fail The woods are deep my friend, there's no need to conduct your naked bondage games in view of the super market  (metro.co.uk) (67)
(Yahoo) Cool Obama is just a couple of rainbows away from keeping all his campaign promises as "unicorns" are back from the brink of extinction  (news.yahoo.com) (58)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida If you're going to filch a large trailer that's abandoned on the side of the road, make sure it's not really a deployed law enforcement trailer  (palmbeachpost.com) (13)
(WLBZ2.com) Stupid Time to play "Who's More Stupid?" The man that paid $120,000 for a 340-ton boulder, or Los Angeles County Museum of Art for paying $1.5 million to display it  (wlbz2.com) (71)
(CNN) Asinine David Tyree predicts dogs and cats living together, mass hysteria  (cnn.com) (117)
(Des Moines Register) Strange Adding insult to injury, burglar spray paints messages around the house he broke into. "Ugly couch"  (desmoinesregister.com) (15)
(ABC Action News) Florida City moves to ban panhandling 6 days a week, except for Sunday so not to end church collection plate round-ups  (abcactionnews.com) (19)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Ohhhhh racism, still alive? Sill alive, that blows my mind. Hey racism *clap clap clap* hey racism *clap clap clap*  (sun-sentinel.com) (116)
(CSMonitor) Followup Prosecution's case left key questions unresolved in Casey Anthony trial. Such as: "Do you want to be the husband, or do you want to be the wife?" And, "Which arm would you prefer we use?"  (csmonitor.com) (76)
(Stuff) Interesting Missing 300 year old bronze church bell found in New Zealand scrap yard. Reverend makes identification after a brief cross examination  (stuff.co.nz) (9)
(Mother Nature Network) Interesting Company invents a toilet alert system for people in New York City that lets them know when it's safe to flush, sewer alligators are coming  (mnn.com) (11)
(The Sun) Dumbass Today's example of do-it-yourself home surgery involves a painful finger wart and a 12 bore Beretta shotgun  (thesun.co.uk) (70)
(The Local (Sweden)) Sick Today's great moments in socialized medicine comes from Sweden, where a woman calls 911, is denied an ambulance four times because she could still talk, later died  (m.thelocal.se) (138)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Man is charged $1 more for a manicure than women are at the same nail salon. Do you: a) act like a man and pay the extra dollar. b) take a dollar out of the tip. c) cry like a little girl and file sex discrimination charges  (myfoxdc.com) (108)
(Some Bruin) Amusing It's like that WWII kissing picture, except if you replace it with Vancouver and rioting  (i.imgur.com) (400)
(MetroWest Daily News) Dumbass Man's response to police after getting busted for driving a stolen vehicle while smoking marijuana: "Man, you guys ruined my buzz"  (metrowestdailynews.com) (10)
(LA Times) Followup Urine trouble now  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (23)
(How about Greenpeace made it up) Obvious Remember a month ago when the IPCC reported that renewable energy could supply 80% of the world's energy needs by mid century? Would you believe that was written from peer reviewed research? Would you believe an intern's tweets?  (marklynas.org) (301)
(BBC) Stupid LulzSec hackers take down CIA. Or, if you care about details: a few kids running simple software that overloads websites gang up on CIA.gov, a site built to handle a moderate amount of traffic. They manage to take it down for a couple minutes  (bbc.co.uk) (115)
(CNNGo) Spiffy 13 reasons to stick with the Pad Thai and not the stink beans. "The beans emit a gaseous sensation that could easily be mistaken for a human fart"  (cnngo.com) (38)
(Forbes) Dumbass Handy legal tip: If you don't want to lose your product liability case, you might want to buy the product first, THEN hire the lawyer  (blogs.forbes.com) (23)
(Washington Post) Asinine Not News: Going 85mph on the DC Beltway. Almost news: Crash car. News: While drunk. Fark: While having sex. Total Fark: Being "partially or totally in the backseat at the time" Ultra Fark: There was also another dude in the car  (washingtonpost.com) (56)
(Rainbow City) Photoshop Photoshop this survey of a striped second section  (s.wsj.net) (20)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Honey, its not my fault I cheated on you, it's genetic  (dailymail.co.uk) (148)
(The Consumerist) Interesting Cable companies starting to realize that they've virtually priced themselves out of business as more and more Americans are going the cheaper routes of Netflix and DVD ownership  (consumerist.com) (333)
(Great Falls Tribune) Asinine Less than halfway through 2011's "Parents of the Year" competition, we have our winners  (greatfallstribune.com) (65)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Google's Les Paul doodle cost the world $268 million. Thanks a lot, Google  (news.com.au) (98)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Thanks Obama for ruining the economy and making little Timmy have to settle for warm water at the school water fountain  (mysuncoast.com) (218)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Man who quit college in 1932 graduates at age 99. All his old teachers are gone but he vowed to never lose his faculties  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 319: "In Deep Shadow". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (149)


Wed June 15, 2011
(Some Guy) Stupid In this corner, we have the challenger wielding an aluminum baseball bat. In this corner, the champion with his trusty chainsaw. Let's get Ready To Ruuuuuuuuumble  (fredericksburg.com) (43)
(Some Guy) PSA If your Chinese food order is wrong, don't call 911 to fix it  (walb.com) (33)
(Daily Mail) Asinine The newest celebrity plastic surgery craze? Cankle removal  (dailymail.co.uk) (47)
(UPI) Obvious Who didn't see that coming? Researchers find altering college classes to allow students to sleep later just encourages them to drink and sleep more  (upi.com) (25)
(BBC) Weird Romans Left Us the Colosseum, the Latin Language, and ... Bags of Dung?  (bbc.co.uk) (46)
(Salon) Obvious Dad not impressed when his 10-year-old daughter decides to dress like a Playboy Bunny and jump out of his birthday cake  (salon.com) (110)
(Sign On San Diego) Spiffy Best. Teacher. EVER  (signonsandiego.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this brushed bronze  (s.wsj.net) (15)
(Canada.com) Amusing Plenty of Fish upset by Alberta government's Plenty of Syph anti-syphilis campaign  (canada.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Obvious U.S. birth rates down third year in a row because people cannot figure out how babby is afford  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(CNSNews) Silly Union wants mailmen to go postal on terror  (cnsnews.com) (21)
(The Atlantic) Caption Caption this water dog  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (46)
(Boing Boing) Hero Judge to copyright troll: "Your case is a sham. Shut your damn mouth and get out of my court." Copyright © 2011 Go Screw Yourself, Inc  (boingboing.net) (54)
(NYPost) Dumbass Ascot ass caught, stole stole  (nypost.com) (36)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Conch smuggler facing up to five years of pound-me-in-the-cloaca prison  (sun-sentinel.com) (23)
(Seattle Times) Scary Woman charged with squeezing boyfriend's testicles so hard that he needed surgery. When asked for comment, man could only reply: ᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵒᵘᶜʰ ᵒᵘᶜʰ  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (115)
(MSNBC) Scary New fault discovered that could collapse dam and flood Reno. EVERYBODY PANI-wait, do we care about Reno?  (msnbc.msn.com) (101)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely 'My husband had to get a girlfriend before he could love me again': How an affair changed one couple's marriage for the BETTER  (dailymail.co.uk) (162)
(Yahoo) Asinine State of Alaska, which took 3 years to release Palin's emails-on paper only, at $700/copy says it will "investigate" why there are only 5 e-mails included from her first month in office, hopes to have an answer by 2020 or so  (news.yahoo.com) (166)
(Wired) Followup Duke Nukem's PR threatens punishment for bad reviews  (wired.com) (338)
(Some Guy) Stupid New York Bans Smoking In Cars When Kids Are Present, also bans rolling windows down due to exhaust fumes  (familycarguide.com) (312)
(Washington Times) Unlikely Sale SALE....BIG GIGANTIC SALE ON SEX NOW. Lower prices, BOGO....Free SEX to the first 50 customers through the doors on Saturday. (all sales finals, no rainchecks, no refunds) All purchases come with free STD's....all purchasers come  (washingtontimes.com) (96)
(Some Garden State) Followup Cow farking cop gets a reprieve when lawyer visits great pasture in the sky  (courierpostonline.com) (22)
(Fox News) Obvious You're Fox News and you have a great "things are worse than the Great Depression" article all ready to go, except for one pesky paragraph that gives some good news. What to do? Well, check paragraph 8  (foxnews.com) (102)
(TC Palm) Florida You may have had one too many if: A.) You wake up and your $4,800 is missing, B.) The person you met online and spent the night with left HIS women's clothes, lingerie, wig and makeup in your bathroom, C.) both of the above  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Obvious Tulsa church rents local water park. All went well until they started baptizing folks in the wave pool  (fox23.com) (73)
(Washington Post) Dumbass Eating three pounds of anything before an international flight shows questionable judgment, eating three pounds of heroin, on the other hand  (washingtonpost.com) (16)
(Google) Obvious Glowing whales caught off Japan coast  (google.com) (75)
(AJC) Strange And you thought the Van der Sloot story couldn't get any better: Van der Sloot knocks up his still-living girlfriend who brings him candy and does his cell chores  (blogs.ajc.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Scary This is why we shouldn't have them on stamps, clearly they don't like it  (news.yahoo.com) (17)
(MLive.com) Amusing Man puts a can of gasoline inside his van, lights up a cigarette, goes BOOM, and rolls into the fire station driveway for the ta-da  (mlive.com) (22)
(The Register) Interesting Good news on the global warming front: you're going to freeze to death  (theregister.co.uk) (278)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this too-tall twosome  (online.wsj.com) (17)
(MSNBC) Interesting What do you do with 700,000 tons of tsunami wreckage? I'm no expert, but maybe build a sea-wall out of it?  (worldblog.msnbc.msn.com) (44)
(KFOR) Weird Not News: Man goes missing. News: Has mental disabilities. Fark: Has multiple personalities, an extreme fear of men and was wearing fake breasts  (kfor.com) (23)
(The New York Times) Strange Russia seizes animal parts being smuggled into China. Including elk lips, bear paws, and woolly mammoth tusks. ...Wait, what??  (nytimes.com) (34)
(Boston Channel) Sick I'm very sorry to hear that your wife has cancer but, were trying to run a business here and you taking time off to care for her is just too disruptive, so you're fired  (thebostonchannel.com) (290)
(The Local (Sweden)) Strange 85% of Swedish Church members don't believe in Jesus Christ, just show up for the communion wine and the cookies  (thelocal.se) (93)
(Yahoo) Silly Researchers at John Hopkins School of Medicine say magic mushrooms could have medical stardust ponies farting rainbows through the sky as they fly past the melty moonbeams of eternity  (news.yahoo.com) (94)
(CNN) Scary Nosotros que están a punto de morir saludo usted  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (125)
(Government Technology) Interesting Google to take over email for NOAA. If my suspicion is correct, there can be no response to this  (govtech.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Scary Fire at building reaches medical marijuana growing operation. Teams of firefighters battle flames with gradually diminishing attention spans, find fire hoses suddenly hilarious, call for backup pizza  (ktvq.com) (17)
(Yahoo) Strange When visiting New York city there are tons of things to do like shopping in Manhattan, visiting the Statue of Liberty, seeing a show on Broadway, camping at the national park in Brooklyn, wait, what was that last one again?  (news.yahoo.com) (49)
(NJ.com) Asinine Rutgers Board of Governors decides to literally wall themselves off from the public. Next up: a moat with sharks  (nj.com) (20)
(9 News) Sick Snap, crackle, poop  (9news.com) (30)
(BBC) Strange Greek police use tear gas to battle angry crowd armed with....yogurt  (bbc.co.uk) (41)
(Life.com) Obvious Lesson No. 1 when trying to win hearts and minds in a war zone ... avoid scrawling the title lyrics of the Misfits' "Mommy, Can I Go Out & Kill Tonight?" on your helmet. Lesson No. 2: Duck  (life.com) (105)
(Some Cookie Monster) Interesting A question that has plagued us all since childhood is finally answered. Who made that Oreo emboss?  (ediblegeography.com) (63)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida The drought is so severe in Florida, homes there are being invaded by scorpions, cockroaches, ants, spiders, palmetto bugs, opossums, and raccoons all searching for water  (orlandosentinel.com) (119)
(NYPost) Strange You want to drum up publicity for your book, "The Illuminati Code Cracked." Do you: C) Run onto the field at Yankee Stadium and try to tackle A-Rod  (nypost.com) (30)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Goldilocks intruder found beer to be just the right temperature   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (6)
(Down Goes Brown) Amusing A detailed look back at Game 7 of the Stanley Cup playoffs, which due to a scheduling error had to be published 12 hours early  (downgoesbrown.com) (65)
(The Atlantic) Interesting 34 photos of DIY Weapons of the Lesbian Rebels, including multiple rocket launcher jubblies. (Not a slideshow)  (theatlantic.com) (241)
(MSNBC) Scary Next health hazard: hackable medical implants. "I sped Granny's heart up 4 da lulz"  (technolog.msnbc.msn.com) (47)
(wtsp.com) Florida Neighborhood up in arms after finding out that heroin dealer used food stamps. Not so upset about the whole heroin thing  (wtsp.com) (86)
(The New York Times) Asinine In a clear case of, "We had no idea bin Laden was in our country", Pakistan arrests the CIA informants who told the US where he was hiding  (nytimes.com) (193)
(Some bikini chick) Florida What could possibly be better than chicks in bikinis shooting laser guns at each other?  (wtsp.com) (741)
(Metro) Strange It may be a cheaper way to ship a new car, but the police may have a slight problem with it  (metro.co.uk) (38)
(Stamford Advocate) Scary Sweeney Todd 2: Electric Boogaloo  (stamfordadvocate.com) (17)
(Some Guy) Fail Congress would like to know whose idea it was to have the ATF sell weapons to the Mexican drug cartel  (y100.com) (165)
(Discovery) Interesting According to this, PBR has been around for 2500 years and is French. Hipsters surrender  (news.discovery.com) (172)
(Naples Daily News) Florida Throwing pancakes, punches, then claiming victims offered money for BJs are no ways to get out of assault arrest, young lady  (naplesnews.com) (38)
(LA Times) Dumbass Today's student-teacher sex scandal comes to us from face-Palmdale, California  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (88)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this look through rose-colored glasses  (online.wsj.com) (24)
(NDTV) Weird Guy arrested for for collecting schoolgirls' saliva. "He has done so habitually to satisfy his sexual desire"  (ndtv.com) (75)
(FOX Charlotte) Asinine Lip-syncing your favorite song on YouTube? That's five years in prison  (foxcharlotte.com) (229)
(BBC) Sick Woman's body found in PNG leader's home. JPG, GIF, and TIFF leaders' call for investigation  (bbc.co.uk) (59)
(Mirror.co.uk) Obvious Climbers tie the knot on top of a mountain. Whew... thank goodness they decided NOT to take the plunge  (mirror.co.uk) (22)
(Some Guy) Obvious Men more likely to avoid doctor visits to appear tough. Article includes 10 symptoms that you other pansies should go see a doctor about  (health.yahoo.net) (179)
(The New York Times) Obvious More high school seniors report recreational use of tranquilizers or prescription narcotics, like OxyContin and Vicodin, than heroin and cocaine combined  (nytimes.com) (137)
(Some Guy) Ironic Injured hawk from popular webcam Raptor Cam gets rescued by Officer Cage Byrd (yes that's really his name)  (kgw.com) (31)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this guy going with greens  (online.wsj.com) (21)
(Wired) Sick Public schools may discipline pupils for their online speech spoken off-campus, a federal appeals court ruled  (wired.com) (98)


Tue June 14, 2011
(STLToday) Dumbass Here's a great way to ask for a home invasion by armed robbers: Get on Facebook and brag about winning a bunch of money in a civil court proceeding  (stltoday.com) (38)
(Huffington Post) Scary Good news: climate change may have a self-correcting mechanism. Bad news: we're all gonna die  (huffingtonpost.com) (127)
(JSOnline) Hero Not news: Daughter stabs man threatening to kill her mother. News: Daughter is 9. WTF: Not the first time she's had to do it  (jsonline.com) (108)
(MPR) Amusing Flight crew: Sir, you can't touch the paramedic, Perv: It's my plane and she should be wearing an easy access shirt  (minnesota.publicradio.org) (81)
(NPR) Amusing How else would a drunken steamroller ride end?  (npr.org) (55)
(UPI) Scary Iran accelerates upgrade of Photoshop software  (upi.com) (98)
(NJ.com) Obvious Just so I understand, what you're saying is that an investment opportunity that guarantees to quintuple your money within 60 days might *not* be on the up-and-up?  (nj.com) (18)
(NJ.com) Strange If you're going to shoplift a pregnancy test and use it in the store, at least use the women's restroom  (nj.com) (50)
(CNN) Amusing The Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop  (cnn.com) (28)
(Some Tired Guy) Interesting Good news: Marital arguments are your wife's fault. Bad news: This fact will not help you actually win any of those arguments  (healthnews.com) (134)
(AFP) Fail Juror contacts defendant during trial via Facebook, probably will spend more time in jail than defendant  (news.yahoo.com) (99)
(The Raw Story) Asinine Bible verse John and John: 6.9. "there shall be no running, no diving, no peeing, and no gays in my swimming pool", thus sayeth the lord  (rawstory.com) (309)
(Politico) Interesting The wheels of justice grind slow but they grind exceedingly fine: Federal grand jury considering indicting CIA agents for war crimes committed at Abu Gharib  (politico.com) (108)
(Some Guy) Stupid What do you call driving, texting and corralling a cat? Not really sure but it caused $100,000 in damages and a reckless drive charge for a 17 year-old  (ottawacitizen.com) (62)
(koco.com) Dumbass You will know him by the trail of corn dogs. Bonus: Best perp quote of the week  (koco.com) (27)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this pair of pink pilgrims  (online.wsj.com) (28)
(SFGate) Obvious On second thought, maybe it's not a good idea to let Barry Bonds' personal trainer coach a youth baseball team  (sfgate.com) (15)
(E! Online) Fail Certainly someone on the production crew must have considered what the abbreviation of The World According To Paris would be  (eonline.com) (58)
(Yahoo) Followup "...we know it's being interpreted as disrespectful, and for that I'm sorry." Not sorry that it was disrespectful, just that it was interpreted that way  (news.yahoo.com) (268)
(Click On Detroit) Dumbass When driving cocaine and fruit over the border into the US, at least put the coke under the fruit  (clickondetroit.com) (34)
(FARK) FarkBlog Where did all the women come from? Notes from the Toronto Fark Party and some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 6/5 - 6/11  (fark.com) (32)
(USA Today) Unlikely Most women are okay with how they look in swimsuits. One notable dissenter was quoted as saying, "ACK"  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (203)
(Broken Secrets) Interesting Starbucks was almost named Pequod, but one of the original owners wasn't high enough to go along with it  (brokensecrets.com) (57)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Obvious New study shows that women who've had enough sex to know what good sex is are the most likely to divorce you, go look for more good sex  (press-citizen.com) (119)
(The New York Times) Fail "Superfluous": exceeding what is sufficient or necessary. "Of": a word Judge John G. Roberts felt the need to define in a Supreme Court decision. "Fail": See "Of"  (nytimes.com) (107)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you left a blow-up doll taped to a recliner in the middle of an intersection, Brookfield police would like a word with you. "A passer-by said he was interested in taking the recliner home"  (brookfieldnow.com) (34)
(Onion AV Club) Cool An interview with Jon Benjamin, the voice of Archer, arguably the funniest show on TV  (avclub.com) (272)
(CTV) Obvious FDA steps in to regulate Wild West of sunscreen labeling, in which your SPF 7700 waterproof broad-spectrum sunblock may have slightly exaggerated its powers  (ctv.ca) (78)
(PennLive) Stupid Buggy driver cited for DUI after crash. Hope the state takes their licens...oh. Well at least their insurance will... hmm. Maybe impound his horse?  (pennlive.com) (47)
(Courier Press) Fail Today's "meth addict cuts into 30,000 volt power line while stealing copper, burns off all his clothes and is found naked and screaming" story brought to you by Southern Illinois  (courierpress.com) (96)
(Yahoo) Dumbass No matter how rich or powerful you are, sometimes it's best to swallow your pride and take the plea bargain-like, say, when the government has wiretap recordings of you actually committing the crime  (beta.news.yahoo.com) (26)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange Joe Biden has been tapped to eliminate wasteful government spending. And his first target is a website dedicated to the desert tortoise  (mnn.com) (87)
(Yahoo) Obvious American students don't know much about history, but they do know that they love you  (news.yahoo.com) (190)
(Madison.com) Amusing Not News: Man decides to "Get out his seat and jump around." News: Does so in his well-lit second-floor hotel-room window. Fark: Decides to forego pants during the performance  (host.madison.com) (35)
(NPR) Asinine Boeing: "We're going to retaliate against Unions by building this factory" NLRB: "Uh, you just admitted to breaking the law." Boeing: "How dare you accuse us of retaliating against Unions"  (npr.org) (319)
(Wall Street Journal) Spiffy "Scotts Miracle-Gro Co. has long sold weed killer. Now, it's hoping to help people grow killer weed"  (online.wsj.com) (84)
(Independent) Strange 34-year-old amnesiac with Thulsa Doom's haircut wakes up thinking she's a 15-year-old. No word if she solved the Riddle of Steel  (independent.co.uk) (63)
(BBC) Cool Inumisu, uma, umakkal, umakkalu, umisam, umitu, umsum, umtu, umu, umi, umukam, umussu  (bbc.co.uk) (81)
(Some Guy) Cool Ben and Jerry's set to announce new "Schweddy Balls" ice cream flavor. Where's the "Yummy" tag?  (scoop.today.com) (57)
(Washington Post) Hero Meet the Boast Busters, a dedicated core of men and women committed to exposing Navy SEAL imposters  (washingtonpost.com) (232)
(Fox News) Sad Thieves steal 780 year old relic of St. Anthony, patron saint of lost causes and missing objects. If only there were a higher power to help find it  (foxnews.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Cool Farker who wrote Geek Dad is back with a whole new book of geeky fun for kids. Yes, it includes toy hacking. Homemade robots, too  (amazon.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Not news: Guy walking on tracks gets killed by a train. FARK: his buddy avenges his death by hunting that train down and shooting it in cold blood  (wbir.com) (50)
(Daily Mail) Fail News: Hackers steal details of 200,000 Citi account holders. Fark: by changing the account numbers in the address bar. Ultrafark: Expert on the case says "'It would have been hard to prepare for this type of vulnerability"  (dailymail.co.uk) (196)
(BBC) Ironic Lesbian blogger that outed Syrian lesbian blogger as being a man is also outed as a man  (bbc.co.uk) (61)
(BBC) Interesting 10 strange ways people died in 16th Century Tudor England. No. 1 says it all: Bears were part of the Tudor entertainment scene  (bbc.co.uk) (43)
(Team Coco) Amusing Andy Richter gives quite possibly the best review of the 2011 Tony Awards you will ever see  (video.teamcoco.com) (34)
(WWL) Amusing "And the award for 'America's Dirtiest City' goes to.." (rips open envelope, then discards it on a big pile of empty beer cans & Mardi Gras beads)  (wwl.com) (60)
(AJC) Strange Naked and drugged up with an IV hanging from your arm is no way to run from the police, man  (ajc.com) (7)
(Canada.com) Weird Woman's front lawn stolen  (canada.com) (33)
(Yahoo) Interesting British admiral warns that because of budget cuts, his Navy can no longer defend the Falkland Islands. And really nothing is more vital to the UK than control of a bunch of sheep-infested islands in the middle of nowhere  (beta.news.yahoo.com) (112)
(Globe and Mail) Interesting Air Canada goes on strike. Canada Post seen taking notes  (theglobeandmail.com) (32)
(NYPost) Silly Get between an opera singer and her frozen, vegan pad Thai with tofu at Trader Joe's? That's a slapping and, for some reason, a story in the NY Post  (nypost.com) (75)
(Canoe) Followup "Velluvial matrix" Dean will not lose his job, proving that plagiarism is okay for all university students  (cnews.canoe.ca) (32)
(My Fox DC) Interesting I hate wearing a wet sock on my head  (myfoxdc.com) (23)
(The Raw Story) Amusing Presidential hopeful Herman Cain clarifies his "no Muslims in government" pledge by saying he'd only ban "the ones that were trying to kill us." Here's a thought: why not ban ALL people who are trying to kill us?  (rawstory.com) (182)
(TechCrunch) Obvious Why Groupon is doomed. Includes an example of restaurant receipt, Groupon'd down to $1  (techcrunch.com) (106)
(CNBC) Dumbass Ron Paul wants to open Fort Knox and swim around in the money bin to prove it's real. Bonus: This man is running for President  (cnbc.com) (336)
(Some Guy) Scary AT&T worker decides to take a dip in the pool with a dozen other people. Difficulty: He was still in his truck  (wsbtv.com) (12)
(Fox 4 KC) Fail Bad: Woman rear-ends car. Worse: It's a police vehicle. FARK: She's drunk, texting, and holding a drink  (caller.com) (35)
(CNNGo) Strange The woman who retired from her factory job to become a full-time sorceress under a bridge  (cnngo.com) (13)
(KTVZ) Interesting Churches tagged by Pastafarians. Ramen  (ktvz.com) (102)
(Hampton Roads) Asinine The expensively trained Afghan Army is ready for war, if by "ready" one means hiding under blankets curled in a fetal position during an attack, and stealing stuff from the fighting Americans' duffel bags  (hamptonroads.com) (30)
(Pocono Record) Asinine Not News: You have to fill out a form so your 12-year-old daughter can join the scrapbooking club at school. UltraFark Infinity: The consent form includes undergoing a drug test and consenting to random drug tests in the future  (poconorecord.com) (103)
(WTAE) Hero When the fire department fails, news reporter rescues cat stuck in tree for 8 days  (wtae.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Florida Obama cashes in on "Miami ATM", becoming the first person to use an ATM in Miami without being robbed  (610wiod.com) (14)
(Life.com) Interesting Come for the origins of superstitions, stay for the Sophia-Loren-at-age-27 hotness  (life.com) (20)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Burghert at Lolo, his eyes wide. Missoula sheriffs at Lolo, their fists shaking. Shaka, when the bullets rained  (msnbc.msn.com) (54)
(TC Palm) Florida Ribs and oxtail are specialties at romantic bistro in Florida woman's purse. Try the key lime pie ... wait, where?  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (14)
(Washington Post) Fail Dude, I know there's like, protests for freedom and all that, but the streets are, like, dangerous, man. How about some Farmville? Wanna see my cat pictures?  (washingtonpost.com) (15)
(Fox News) Amusing Lulz Security hacks Senate website. Bonus quote from article: "Lulz is a reference to Internet-speak for 'laugh out loud'"  (foxnews.com) (49)
(Reuters) Obvious Report explains the current crop of so-called Republicans  (reuters.com) (43)
(The New York Times) Asinine Your mutual fund can now lie to you, and here's the kicker: based on dictionary definitions for the word "make"  (nytimes.com) (55)
(Canoe) Stupid Not News: BBC gets flak for showing something controversial. Fark: Assisted suicide of a stick figure  (cnews.canoe.ca) (37)
(Huffington Post) Scary Story and video of lioness trying to eat a baby under glass, ...err behind glass. Bonus: The article's lolcats final line  (huffingtonpost.com) (72)
(CNN) Followup Top 5 things we learned from Monday's GOP Presidential Debate. Add your own to the right. (voting enabled)   (politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com) (331)
(AlterNet) Dumbass Cop vanquishing number 1 public menace: cute girls riding bikes in short skirts  (alternet.org) (145)
(Some Guy) Interesting Eight-year-old girl becomes third-known person in the U.S. to have survived rabies without having received the life-saving vaccine  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (77)
(NPR) Scary Life imitates Futurama, as the age of owl exterminations has arrived  (npr.org) (39)
(Some Guy) Fail The grim raper came  (wfaa.com) (59)
(Fox News) Followup Obama decides to celebrate Indepenence Day two weeks early, throws a Wiener on the grill  (foxnews.com) (51)
(CNN) Sad NATO, Michael Bay, won't rule out bombing Roman ruins in Libya  (edition.cnn.com) (41)
(Houston Press) Fail Beer festival sells 20,000 tickets to a venue with a 12,000-person capacity, all ticket holders show up at once, hilarity ensues. Oh, wait: heatstroke ensues  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Stupid Blatant Racism: There's an app for that  (newsnet5.com) (210)
(New York Daily News) Scary Elderly woman decides to rob a bank. Her choice of weapon was a) a gun, b) a bomb, or c) AIDS  (nydailynews.com) (35)
(Canoe) Spiffy Man never thought he would be so happy to hear the words: "I'm sorry, you didn't win $1,500"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (42)
(KnoxNews) Obvious In order to make up for all the power customers didn't get due to the tornadoes last April, TVA's rewarding them with a $6 rate hike. Wait, what?  (knoxnews.com) (36)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary "By the time the neighbours had all came out I looked down and realised I had no clothes on. It was a nightmare"  (mirror.co.uk) (26)
(BBC) Hero Jesus appears in melted candle wax in English church. Tag is for the cleaner who wiped it up before it could become an internet sensation  (bbc.co.uk) (66)
(Some Humenahumena Guy) Amusing Headline writer apparently left speechless by dancer  (vancouversun.com) (30)
(STLToday) Hero Police officer arrests another police officer for DUI. Yes, you read that right  (stltoday.com) (96)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this man walking on water  (online.wsj.com) (23)
(Komo) Asinine Restaurant chain goes bankrupt, kicks out customers mid-meal  (komonews.com) (248)
(Still Sober) Dumbass Not News: Underage Drinking at a High School Graduation Party FARK: For the Chief of Police's Daughter  (www2.turnto10.com) (48)


Mon June 13, 2011
(News.com.au) Scary Blaze prompts toxic smoke warning. Worst "American Gladiators" episode EVER  (news.com.au) (20)
(Denver Post) Scary Just because you don't like tubers going down the river that winds through your property does not mean you can string barbed-wire fencing across it to get them to stop  (denverpost.com) (234)
(The Consumerist) Sick Burger King unveils new mini-Spamburgers. You know. For women  (consumerist.com) (144)
(LA Times) Obvious British fear 'American-style' healthcare system  (latimes.com) (296)
(The Week) Followup 4 lessons from the Palin emails  (theweek.com) (206)
(kare11.com) Scary Crane crashes into home after smelling tossed salads and scrambled eggs  (kare11.com) (80)
(St. Petersburg Times) Followup Fark doesn't have the Starbucks voyeurism guy to kick around anymore  (tampabay.com) (56)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these suspended stuffed animals  (online.wsj.com) (21)
(Soggy Bottom) Dumbass Inside the room officers reportedly discovered three marijuana pipes, half a Suboxone pill, a switchblade, scales, roach clip and a baseball bat. With "O'Brother Where Art Thou" mugshot goodness  (timesnews.net) (109)
(Time) Amusing Time magazine solves Democrats' Weiner problem by declaring him a Republican  (time.com) (187)
(Toledo Blade) Cool Name the new elephant at the Toledo Zoo (voting enabled)  (toledoblade.com) (137)
(FARK) FarkParty Philly Phark Party The Shanachie Irish Pub (okay, technically it's in Ambler), July 2nd, 7pm  (fark.com) (87)
(Pat's Papers) Interesting Leprechauns and ghosts take umbrage as Silicon Valley considers making Diwali an official school holiday  (patspapers.com) (125)
(The Atlantic Wire) Scary Photographer documents what people look like when their plane is about to crash  (theatlanticwire.com) (138)
(CNN) Sappy The three sentences that will get you through life. 1) "Cover for me." 2) "Oh, good idea, boss." 3) "It was like that when I got here"  (cnn.com) (155)
(Yahoo) Obvious For you yankees: The difference between BBQ and grilling  (shine.yahoo.com) (564)
(AFP) Interesting Best Korea ship carrying peaceful cargo of nerf toys and baby milk intercepted, turned back by Imperialist Running Dog Navy ship off coast of Myanmar  (news.yahoo.com) (70)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Strange B17 Bomber goes down in flames while keeping the world safe from Illinois Nazis  (suntimes.com) (183)
(NYPost) Obvious Brooklyn man tossed off flight for speaking his native tongue  (nypost.com) (84)
(Daily Mail) Sad 3 survive blimp crash as pilot perishes. Goodyear? The worst  (dailymail.co.uk) (101)
(NPR) Fail SCOTUS asked: Who are your favorite writers. 8 members: Nabokov, Hemingway, Shakespeare, Dickens, etc. Thomas: "24"  (npr.org) (241)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida And if your friends drunkenly backflipped off a bridge, would you do it too?  (orlandosentinel.com) (42)
(BBC) Interesting Belgium manages to go a full year with no official government, anyone caring  (bbc.co.uk) (94)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: rejected breakfast cereals  (google.com) (39)
(The Morning Call) Obvious What does it take to have the heart of a champion? 170 chicken wings and a big bottle of Pepto-Bismol  (mcall.com) (34)
(TMZ) Amusing You want schadenfreude? Mavs celebrate championship at the same hotel Gloria James was arrested at two months ago  (tmz.com) (76)
(Canoe) Ironic Bill Gates pledges $2.3 billion to help stamp out viruses  (cnews.canoe.ca) (109)
(My Fox DC) Amusing And for an extra $10 you can get the "anatomically correct" version with Kung Fu grip (w/ pic)  (myfoxdc.com) (62)
(Washington Post) Interesting Forest Service worried that its fleet of tanker planes are falling apart. But isn't flying a junker airplane how those intense bonds are established between pilots that enable them to return from death as ghost mentors for rookies?  (washingtonpost.com) (90)
(Some Guy) Weird "People inside this community are frequently misrepresented, with the media typically going for the shock value" said the man about the hot air balloonist hoisted by only his skin  (y100.com) (27)
(Washington Times) Obvious It is time to halt a risky and dangerous multi-billion dollar industry that has killed more people in the past few weeks than Fukushima and the Gulf oil spill combined: Organic Foods  (washingtontimes.com) (328)
(SLTrib) Misc The FBI is giving its agents more authority to go through your databases, personal life, and garbage. If your garbage is clean, then you have nothing to fear citizen  (sltrib.com) (96)
(CNN) Stupid Add "I thought I was drawing my taser and accidentally drew my gun instead" to the officially approved list of excuses cops can use when they kill unarmed citizens  (cnn.com) (190)
(USA Today) Interesting Being old doesn't necessarily mean lowered testosterone, which is probably why Grandpa always wants you to sit in his lap  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (17)
(Canoe) Fail If you're going to use the term "velluvial matrix" during your speech to graduates, you *should* expect some of them to Google it and bust you for plagiarism  (cnews.canoe.ca) (72)
(USA Today) Obvious Turns out that many people who quote Machiavelli don't actually know anything about him  (usatoday.com) (68)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Police search for killer in Sanford. YOU BIG MURDERING DUMMY  (orlandosentinel.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Theme Classic: Sci fi mashup. Link goes to example  (madminerva.blogspot.com) (114)
(New York Daily News) Sick Most people would probably allow this for $95 million  (nydailynews.com) (239)
(CNN) Obvious Gas prices predicted to go down. Then back up again  (edition.cnn.com) (65)
(Some Guy) Weird This man's story is the stuff classic country music songs are made out of  (kitsapsun.com) (19)
(Some Bird) Photoshop Photoshop this avian bow  (kro1975.com) (17)
(Telegraph) Weird The tiny English village of Woodland is the latest victim of a mysterious phenomenon known as "the hum". Who knew your mum was that much of an anglophile, huh?  (telegraph.co.uk) (100)
(BBC) Scary Climbing trees. More fun than you can stake a chick at  (bbc.co.uk) (23)
(apan Today) Sick Tepco: yeah, those worker dosages, we may have underreported a bit  (japantoday.com) (37)
(CNN) Obvious God really doesn't care for Christchurch, NZ  (cnn.com) (44)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Men care more about their cars than their health, says researcher who obviously never owned a '65 Mustang  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)
(Galesburg Register-Mail) Dumbass Pro tip: When stealing gasoline, don't rip off the same gas station eight different times  (galesburg.com) (22)
(CNN) Weird Man breaks record for being the shortest. Yes, smaller than that Little Superstar fellow  (cnn.com) (31)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Top secret archives of the presidents favorite foods. JFK liked chowder, Carter's was peanut butter, LBJ's was chili, and the other presidential stereotypes  (dailymail.co.uk) (82)
(CBC) Asinine Get tased by the cops and file a lawsuit? That's a shooting  (cbc.ca) (108)

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