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Sun July 17, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Strange Medical marijuana can be used for treatment of nausea, premenstrual syndrome, being a Neo Nazi, insomniWAIT what?  (jezebel.com) (87)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this pair of porters  (online.wsj.com) (22)
(ABC News) Amusing Old and Busted: Planking. New Hotness: Leisure Diving (w/ hilarious slideshow)  (abcnews.go.com) (148)
(The Morning Call) Asinine Man wins -$11K in sweepstakes  (mcall.com) (93)
(Daily Mail) Strange Pregnant woman fights craving for furniture polish, doctors Pledge their help  (dailymail.co.uk) (97)
(Some Guy) Obvious Stanley Cup misses flight. If you guessed that the TSA was somehow involved, step forward and collect your prize  (boston.cbslocal.com) (96)
(WLSAM) Scary If you can sell your house today, do it. It will be worth 20% less next year. And you should always get your real estate advice from Fark  (wlsam.com) (258)
(AJC) Interesting Federal Government wants airlines to disclose how much they charge in extra fees. The airlines, who made more than $6 billion in fees last year, have a problem with this  (ajc.com) (108)
(News 95.7) Stupid Single mothers with strollers refuse to get off bus to make way for potential people in wheelchairs. Standoff ensues  (news957.com) (337)
(Some Guy) Fail Your beloved 11-year-old Rottweiler has died. Do you: C) burn down your house while trying to cremate him in the back yard?  (nbcwashington.com) (66)
(New York Daily News) Obvious Teen girls flock to NYC to become Chris Hansen bait  (nydailynews.com) (55)
(The Morning Call) Sad Bakery burns down before it could bake 300 pies for festival. It's so hard to say good pie to yesterday  (mcall.com) (30)
(Cracked) Scary The six most terrifying theme park rides EVER  (cracked.com) (162)
(ESPN) Cool World Cup Finals coverage starts at 2:00 EDT. It's WWII, Part II  (soccernet.espn.go.com) (1393)
(Springfield News-Leader) Interesting Just to stir things up on a lazy Sunday, here's an article on a 72,000 sqare foot mansion built from concrete blocks, that has stirred up the conspiracy nuts as to why you need a 72,000 sqare foot concrete home  (news-leader.com) (110)
(Some Savings) Photoshop Photoshop this analog ATM  (shorpy.com) (21)
(Some Guy Who Is Too Old) Unlikely Former teacher changes her sexual battery plea from not guilty to "those boys couldn't stop sticking their dicks in crazy"  (wlwt.com) (128)
(The Hairpin) PSA A 1694 guide on breasts, including advice on how to "reduce those Breasts that hang flagging out of all comely shape and form, that they may be plump, round and smaller." Not safe for work in the 21st century but okay in the 17th  (thehairpin.com) (150)
(WLSAM) PSA Liquid courage only makes your stress worse. Study brought to you by the Women's Christian Temperance Union  (wlsam.com) (45)
(Quad City Times) Silly The absolute best story about two chairs found in a dumpster you will read all day, nay... all week  (qctimes.com) (91)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Chill the fark out, everyone  (suntimes.com) (43)
(News.com.au) Stupid If you were the high bidder on two kids being sold through Ebay auction, we have some bad news for you  (news.com.au) (54)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Unlikely With radiati☢n c☢ncerns g☢ne, Japan eager f☢r t☢urists  (suntimes.com) (98)
(Some Guy) Stupid Texas: Kid gets suspended for profanity, so mom has book with that phrase banned from library. Fark: Phrase is "poo poo head"  (abclocal.go.com) (104)
(St. Petersburg Times) Ironic Ignoring the warnings of his friends and family, 40 year old buys sports bike. Crash and dies in less than a week. This brings us to C: a new law to protect us all  (tampabay.com) (348)
(CBS News) News Rupert Murdoch protege Rebekah Brooks arrested in NewsCorp phone hacking scandal  (cbsnews.com) (449)
(Some Guy) Strange Fifteen years ago, Flight 800 blew-up over New York killing over 200 people. The NTSB concluded the accident occurred because of a short circuit in an almost empty fuel tank. Some people have a problem with this  (twa800.com) (210)
(Boston Globe) Stupid Massachusetts revokes man's driver's license because his face isn't sufficiently distinctive  (boston.com) (102)
(LA Times) Photoshop Photoshop this counterfeit Charlie Brown  (latimes.com) (36)
(Reuters) Interesting Not news: Troops march in a parade. Fark: The San Diego Gay Pride Parade  (reuters.com) (89)
(Stuff) Silly If you're having a kid in New Zealand and want to call him Baron Lucifer C. Slash, you're out of luck  (stuff.co.nz) (42)
(onlineathens.com) Misc Actual headline from local newspaper: Man says it's too hot to fish. With picture  (onlineathens.com) (95)
(CTV) Weird Just for the halibut, health department shuts down spa where fish nibble toe jam off your soles  (ctv.ca) (46)
(WFTV) Followup Hey, all you bachelors...Casey Anthony is now available  (wftv.com) (397)
(Some Tactless Gal) Asinine Dear "journalist", of all the public domain clipart and photos available to you, THIS one struck you as being most appropriate? Really?  (wusa9.com) (137)

Sat July 16, 2011
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this part of a partially cloudy sky  (bigpicture.ru) (34)
(Gawker) Asinine Guy goes to blood bank and gets rejected because c) he "appeared to be gay"  (gawker.com) (404)
(Some Guy) Followup 31 out of the 33 rescued Chilean miners sue their government. The other two appear satisfied with their book deals  (huliq.com) (20)
(Daily Mail) Strange 999, what's your emergency? I was just cut off in traffic and now I'm blocked in...by an albino ostrich  (dailymail.co.uk) (24)
(Bloomberg) Amusing Being drunk in China and getting driven around by a chauffeur is no way to go through...actually, it IS a good way, son  (bloomberg.com) (28)
(KTVZ) Spiffy Bald eagle receives mouth-to-beak CPR. Veterinarian defends actions, claims bird was only injured; it was not an ill eagle procedure  (ktvz.com) (72)
(Christian Post) Asinine Pastor Flip Benham: "Caylee Anthony's murder was exactly like an abortion." This is what Christians actually believe  (christianpost.com) (327)
(LA Times) Amusing You might think the shuttle is a waste of time, but that's no reason to give it a demeaning name (see 4th paragraph)  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (82)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: Your wife needs an emergency c-section. Still Not News: Cop gives the guy a speeding ticket. Fark: And radios ahead so they can nail him again. WTF?: A Civic can go that fast?  (winnipegfreepress.com) (266)
(Globe and Mail) Interesting Canadians try to figure out how to celebrate the first war the US lost. You know, the one where the Americans ran and cried like a bunch of wee babies?  (theglobeandmail.com) (150)
(Some Bait) Photoshop Photoshop this fast feline  (bigpicture.ru) (29)
(Herald Tribune) Florida Lawmakers: "When we say sexual intercourse, we mean the penis in the vagina kind. There's no other kind of sexual intercourse, right?"  (heraldtribune.com) (172)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Bin Laden had a "hit list" of potential targets including Obama, Petraeus, and Air Force One in much the same way as my list of "Potential threesome partners" includes Jessica Alba, Christina Hendricks, and Scarlet Johansson  (news.yahoo.com) (89)
(WUSA9) Misc Will Maryland repeal law allowing slow drivers to block fast lane? Speed up or get out of the way, damn lane rangers  (wusa9.com) (197)
(WLSAM) Cool It is okay to look up her skirt and take pictures of her lacy underwear. And it's free  (wlsam.com) (62)
(Herald Tribune) Spiffy Five words to help redeem Florida's image on Fark: Miami Beach bikini contest slideshow   (galleries.heraldtribune.com) (89)
(Orlando Sentinel) Scary Big bird heads off on an adventure to find Snuffleupagus  (orlandosentinel.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Driver takes truck loaded with 100 tons of steel plates over bridge which isn't supposed to carry trucks. Click to see if he made it  (english.eastday.com) (92)
(Columbia Tribune) PSA Drunk while competing in the demolition derby at the county fair? Why yes, you can get arrested for DUI  (columbiatribune.com) (36)
(WYFF4.com) Strange Couple sees image of Jesus on a Walmart receipt (w/video)  (wyff4.com) (164)
(My Fox NY) Strange Woman arrested and charged with felony sexual abuse for taking a tit for tat approach with the TSA  (myfoxny.com) (254)
(Some Homeless Guy) Florida Not News: Man tired of homeless peeing, fapping in his Sarasota neighborhood offers to build them a home, mayor says no. News: So he loads them up on a bus. Fark: And drops them all off in front of the mayor's million dollar home  (sarasota.wtsp.com) (114)
(Telegraph) Dumbass One-legged truck driver used boy for clutch. The job itself wasn't hard but he ended up having to work a lot of shifts  (telegraph.co.uk) (23)
(WLSAM) Strange Girl sleeps for a week at a time. Yeah, there's a syndrome for that  (wlsam.com) (71)
(Some Expressive Guy) Photoshop Yes really, you should photoshop this fledgling snowy owl  (bigpicture.ru) (46)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Silly lady, if someone is eating at Taco Bell they probably can't afford to pay the $500 you're asking for your newborn son  (columbian.com) (42)
(phillyburbs.com) Caturday Glouchester the cat lives to be 16 years old, squeezes out of an open unscreened window, falls 20 stories, knocks himself unconscious and wakes up at the vet's without a scratch. Welcome to Caturday, the miracle edition  (phillyburbs.com) (811)
(YouTube) Amusing Perhaps the greatest live epic fail by a news report opening, ever  (youtube.com) (89)
(taunton gazette) Dumbass Massachusetts man arrested after attempting to rob ATM using a hatchet. Tells cops it wasn't intentional, but purely axe-idental  (tauntongazette.com) (23)
(Jacksonville, IL Journal-Courier) Fail If you're arrested at your wedding because you aren't allowed to be near your bride, you just might be a redneck  (myjournalcourier.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Sad You know you've managed an epic fail on your driver's test when you crash and kill the DMV tester riding with you  (wtkr.com) (75)
(Spiegel) Caption Caption this wet kiss  (spiegel.de) (44)
(JSOnline) Photoshop Photoshop this clown commute  (media.jsonline.com) (30)
(Slate) Sick House Republicans might try to cause a second Depression: "Should the United States lose its bond rating, it will be called the "Obama Depression". Congress does not get pinned with this stuff"  (slate.com) (634)
(Fox News) Obvious Admiral Romero of the US Navy gives sexual assault prevention tips such as "Don't forget: you can't have sex with someone unless they are awake"  (foxnews.com) (87)
(Gawker) Spiffy Would you like to know how to say "I want you to stick your finger in my bottom" in 7 different languages? Here's Carla Bruni to teach you how  (gawker.com) (51)

Fri July 15, 2011
(WDRB) Scary Woman charged for sex with seven young boys at "sex parties". Judging from the video, a couple of them are still in there  (wdrb.com) (70)
(Fox News) Sad Remember that story about the CIA agent who spent a decade tracking bin Laden? Yeah, he's gone into hiding now because Gawker tried to track him down  (foxnews.com) (115)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing This week's Mugshot Roundup has a license to grill  (thesmokinggun.com) (122)
(Telegram) Photoshop Photoshop this submerged statue  (telegram.com) (58)
(Huffington Post) Scary Mother sends cotton swab samples of the inside of fast food restaurant playlands to lab. Your kids are playing in a buffet of Staphylococcus, Meningitis, Gonorrhea, Feces, Coliforms, and other disgusting stuff. Wheeeeee  (huffingtonpost.com) (229)
(The Smoking Gun) Dumbass Indiana woman busted after jailers notice that the Bible she tried to leave for her inmate friend contained a "Book of Meth"  (thesmokinggun.com) (51)
(FARK) Cool Suck it, BBC. Here's the Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (57)
(Fox News) Asinine Georgia Police step up and face new threat to America: Kids running lemonade stands  (foxnews.com) (143)
(BBC) Interesting Elephants, as it turns out, are unwilling to run through a wall of bees  (bbc.co.uk) (53)
(Typically Spanish) Strange "Measure my anus" to disprove gayness? Sounds kind of gay  (typicallyspanish.com) (194)
(Some Squatter) Interesting Little-known Texas law nets guy $330,000 abandoned house for $16. "This is not a normal process, but it is not a process that is not known,"  (wfaa.com) (249)
(Some Guy) Florida Not news: Cable network sends cease and desist order to pawn shop with the same name as current TV show Fark: His shop opened 3 years before the show even started  (www2.hernandotoday.com) (119)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Asinine The feds go after a musician because there were open drug sales at his concerts  (cleveland.com) (84)
(Huffington Post) Hero Stormtrooper walking across Australia to raise money for Starlight foundation. Why yes, he IS a member of Vader's Fist  (huffingtonpost.com) (88)
(Guardian.com) Strange Save 15% in AIDS medications by switching to gecko  (guardian.co.uk) (23)
(Some House Buyer) Amusing For sale: two-bedroom apartment on top floor of converted English church. Beautiful surroundings can be seen through interestingly-shaped living-room window (fifth photo)  (rightmove.co.uk) (94)
(Some Clipped Wing) Scary Delta flight from Boston to Amsterdam now 5% off  (wusa9.com) (39)
(CNN) Cool Police find 300 acres of eight-foot tall pot plants in Mexico. Police state that they'll need roughly five truckloads of funyuns and two crates of Radiohead anthologies in order to destroy the crop  (cnn.com) (114)
(Considerations) Interesting Why women think that 80% of men are "below average"  (samueljscott.com) (657)
(NYPost) Strange Restaurant owers are steamed after somebody stole their giant lobster mascot, whose sole porpoise was to encourage people to eat more beef  (nypost.com) (35)
(Mother Nature Network) Interesting Authorities vow to get the people responsible for destroying Australia's genetically-modified wheat, saying it's the yeast they could do  (mnn.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Fail Good: FAA-mandated drug testing for pilots. Government: The guy is the owner and operator of his business, so he is directed to give surprise drug tests to himself  (cato-at-liberty.org) (63)
(Fox News) Asinine Remember that silly "give guns to Mexican drug cartels" program? Yeah, there might have been a silly "give guns to Colombian drug lords" program, too  (foxnews.com) (88)
(AP) Weird Man gets 50 year old love letter from the woman he divorced years ago. Awkward  (hosted.ap.org) (32)
(Some Reptile) Amusing News: Man startled by charging animal. Fark: It's a tortoise  (bnd.com) (32)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida 'Mother of the Year' candidate arrested after washing baby with bleach to 'cleanse them' of the "bugs coming from her children that get under her skin"  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (75)
(Canoe) Unlikely "Free circumcision makes good politics", spaghetti-os  (cnews.canoe.ca) (87)
(WXYZ Detroit) Strange Man tries to abduct children in Romulus. Chairman Koval says the Tal Shiar are investigating  (wxyz.com) (46)
(UPI) Dumbass Tugboat mate charged in duck boat crash. Of course you realize, this means war  (upi.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Interesting Hiking trips of the past. Come for the glacier walkers in full dress, stay for the hazardous Himalayan hiker without a care  (bbc.com) (14)
(Canoe) PSA There are two boats in this picture (warning: some pics later in the slideshow are NSFW)  (cnews.canoe.ca) (134)
(Globe and Mail) Sad Can't a loving son axe his father about his inheritance?  (theglobeandmail.com) (16)
(Some Guy) Interesting Oregon death row inmate fires lawyers. Fark: because they won't let him die  (kgw.com) (35)
(Morning Sentinal.com) Scary A Maine man would give his left arm for a big Husqvarna lawn tractor... and a little bit of his right hand and a piece or two of his head  (onlinesentinel.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this golden quill  (thinkit.ru) (16)
(UPI) Dumbass Protip: if you're going to steal security cameras, you might want to make sure they aren't recording you while you steal them  (upi.com) (7)
(Some Guy) Amusing Randomly selected quote from highly amusing interview with CBS golf analyst: "You take 40 Vicodin a day, try going to the bathroom once a month. It's like giving birth to a concrete Christmas tree"  (dailybreeze.com) (129)
(Fox News) Stupid Fifteen states have either recently or are currently considering creating their own currency. Can I get two blorks for a churge?  (foxnews.com) (155)
(BBC) Spiffy British couple wins the £161m Euromillion lottery, is offered all-expenses-paid trip to Greece, Italy, Spain and Ireland  (bbc.co.uk) (44)
(Daily Mail) Cool Why spend $1.5 million on a Bugatti Veyron when you can get one for $89,000...sort of (Cool tag beat Florida tag hands down)  (dailymail.co.uk) (99)
(My Fox DC) Sick No one wants to see their kids grow up too fast. But then again, no one wants to see your five year old in diapers either  (myfoxdc.com) (160)
(Some Texan Guy) Scary As a result of the drought in Texas, cattle are dying of Dihydrogen Monoxide poisoning. No word yet on how much of a threat this is to people  (accuweather.com) (118)
(koco) Dumbass This guys day just isn't going well. After trying to break in and getting beat back with a fan, he flees scene, leaving his wallet behind  (koco.com) (24)
(Daily Mail) Scary Eye of the tiger proves no match against biatchslap of the momma bear  (dailymail.co.uk) (57)
(Toledo Blade) Weird Hey, no one said that my carpool lane passenger had to be ALIVE  (toledoblade.com) (23)
(Slate) Interesting Et me, Fido?  (slate.com) (46)
(UPI) Dumbass Two brothers in shampoo fight sent to jail for reconditioning  (upi.com) (21)
(970 WFLA) Florida Today's debriefing is brought to you by Polk County  (970wfla.com) (29)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Mick Hucknall finally resigns over the UK phone-hacking scandal  (dailymail.co.uk) (50)
(CNN) Dumbass Libyan spokesman: 'We will die for oil.' World: 'That can be arranged.'  (cnn.com) (59)
(KITV.com) Sad Homeless woman's smell is so bad, bus company moves the bus stop  (kitv.com) (226)
(Some Guy) Cool Meet the 3-year-old kid who just loves recycling  (troymessenger.com) (27)
(Wall Street Journal) Obvious Proof of the growing influcence of the Albanian mob: their quik mastery of essential mob-nicknaming skills  (blogs.wsj.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Amusing Gang of kids robs truck. 10 year old kids. Ice cream truck  (heraldbulletin.com) (100)
(BBC) Unlikely Social media game Happy Oasis aims to end Muslim extremism  (bbc.co.uk) (34)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing What does a person who steals hemorrhoidal ointment look like? Find out in this week's TSG Friday Photo Fun  (thesmokinggun.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Sad ♫I wish I was an Oscar Mayer weiner....that is what I really want to be♪  (chickasha.kfor.com) (88)
(Houston Chronicle) Weird Drunk, stupid, painting penises on your cousin's house and slashing her tires is no way to go through life, son  (chron.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Caption What is Obama Tweeting?  (whitehouse.gov) (151)
(TwinCities.com) Obvious Writing 'I love you' to your ex-girlfriend doesn't work well when done with the blood of her pet snake  (twincities.com) (45)
(MSNBC) Stupid Oklahoma governor asks people to beat heatwave by praying for rain. WEATHER DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY  (msnbc.msn.com) (304)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this caesar salad squeeze  (s.wsj.net) (22)
(CSMonitor) Interesting Land. Air. Sea. Space. Cyber  (csmonitor.com) (66)
(Yahoo) Sad On the minus side, you're dead. On the plus side, That death certificate listing your cause of death as "death by blowhole" will be a real conversation piece for your surviving loved ones  (news.yahoo.com) (105)
(News9.com) Scary You see someone that looks like Casey Anthony in Chouteau, OK. Do you c) Ram her pickup with your minivan?  (news9.com) (191)
(Denver Channel) Hero Cool: neighbor helps reunite lost seeing eye dog and her owner. Cooler: has dog microchipped. Farking awesome: puts her credit card on file with vet for any future bills. Your dog wants a Kleenex  (thedenverchannel.com) (58)
(KTLA) Followup Mother accused of microwaving baby has another one in the oven  (ktla.com) (112)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Penis repair: It's more common than you think  (chicagotribune.com) (91)
(MSNBC) Hero Afghan women march in the streets of Kabul to inform men they exist for reasons other than targets for sexual harassment, caustic acid  (worldblog.msnbc.msn.com) (153)
(WIVB) Amusing It's a lesson to fast food restaurants everywhere - be wary of who you let control the letters on your exterior signs  (wivb.com) (215)

Thu July 14, 2011
(Daily Mail) Stupid Don't you hate it when you go to the beach and there's all that sand everywhere?  (dailymail.co.uk) (77)
(KnoxNews) Dumbass Hooters girl turned Tennessee state representative busted for carving her initials into her desk (with "must have worked in the kitchen" photo)  (knoxnews.com) (87)
(Spaceflight Now) Scary Someone spilled beer on the shuttle's main computer  (spaceflightnow.com) (92)
(NASA) Photoshop Photoshop these liquid helium handlers  (nasa.gov) (23)
(Springfield Republican) PSA Massachusetts Supreme Court justices say there's nothing wrong with charging $319.90 in court fees to dispute a parking ticket. After all, somebody has to pay their salaries  (masslive.com) (80)
(WESH Orlando) Sick Unnecessarily long slide show tells you the seven foods most likely to make you sick  (wesh.com) (108)
(Washington Post) Ironic Rummy gets molested by the TSA on his way to Betty Ford's funeral  (washingtonpost.com) (157)
(FARK) FarkBlog Super hunan determination, Kilimanjaro via trebuchet, and a clean snatch from Miss Brazil: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 7/3 - 7/9  (fark.com) (17)
(WLSAM) Amusing JetBlue offers $4 flights out of California so people can flee the state  (wlsam.com) (118)
(Washington Post) Followup Kalpen Modi, who was Kal Penn, then was Kumar, then was Kalpen Modi again, then was Kal Penn again, then was Kumar again, then was Kalpen Modi again, will be Kevin on "How I Met Your Mother"  (washingtonpost.com) (66)
(Huffington Post) Amusing A Double Rainbow shows up in Brooklyn. What does this mean?  (huffingtonpost.com) (79)
(MSNBC) Scary University of Kentucky cheerleader tumbles through door and falls four stories, does mid air backflip which saves his life. Duke sucks  (msnbc.msn.com) (133)
(CNNGo) Ironic Outlaws outlawing outlaws outlawed by outlaws  (cnngo.com) (61)
(Talking Points Memo) Cool FBI opens investigation into News Corp over allegations they tried to hack 9/11 victims' phones   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (222)
(El Paso Times) Scary 21 people killed in 24 hours. Or as it's known in Ciudad Juarez, "Wednesday"  (elpasotimes.com) (87)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Fixed that for you  (fark.com) (84)
(Toronto Sun) Stupid Fluently bilingual Air Canada passenger offered a 7-UP in English, gets $12,000 in compensation  (torontosun.com) (263)
(Short List) Amusing At home with Banksy. See, he's just like us  (shortlist.com) (154)
(WFSB) Obvious But son, you're 14 years old. Do you really still need a babysitter?  (wfsb.com) (774)
(Bloomberg) Cool Spaniards come up with novel ideal of forming human chains around homes that are threatened with foreclosure from debt-laden Spanish banks by flash-mobbing  (bloomberg.com) (60)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Probably some local scientist, out for a research cruise, at night, in pirate-infested waters  (news.yahoo.com) (37)
(Cracked) Sad "At what point did we forget that the Space Shuttle was, essentially, a program that strapped human beings to an explosion and tried to stab through the sky with fire and math?"  (cracked.com) (120)
(KRCRTV) Dumbass If you have FARK YOU tattooed on your forehead, trying to cash a stolen check might not be your biggest issue  (krcrtv.com) (76)
(Ars Technica) Cool Nerve Damage? No feeling? Spinal cord severed? We can fix that  (arstechnica.com) (55)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Strange You want to be an international art thief. Do you strike A) The Louvre? B) The Tate Museum? C) Your local Taco Bell?  (blog.cleveland.com) (37)
(Huffington Post) Stupid Investment analyst offers his opinion on possible tablet computer from Amazon: "If you sell a new bong once in a while and keep the water clean, people will keep smoking more pot"  (huffingtonpost.com) (56)
(Spinner) Silly The Edge writes angry letter to the Baltimore Sun defending U2's tax practices. Well, at least he's writing something  (spinner.com) (141)
(TBO) Florida We Americans used to lead the world in great and dramatic ways. Let's set a better example by choosing to turn away from porn  (www2.tbo.com) (187)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Law allowing mothers to breast feed babbies in public ignored because it might offend Muslims who may or may not be nearby  (dailymail.co.uk) (244)
(CBC) Stupid We Canadians would just like to say to the rest of the world that, to maintain our international image as a polite and easygoing nation, we will drown the perpetrators of this campaign in poutine. Thank you  (cbc.ca) (93)
(Mother Nature Network) Strange T. Boone Pickens is acting more and more like your crazy uncle every day. Now he's buying up as much shale acreage in America as he can  (mnn.com) (62)
(Some Flying Car) Florida Flying cars ruled street legal in St. Petersburg. What could possibly go wrong?  (wtsp.com) (51)
(Telegraph) Unlikely Gaddafi has 'suicide plan' to blow up the city of Tripoli after watching all three "Transfomers" movies, friending Michael Bay on Facebook  (telegraph.co.uk) (25)
(Click Orlando) Florida Florida decides what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas  (clickorlando.com) (49)
(LA Times) Unlikely The Mumbai bombings were 'not a failure of intelligence,' official says, rather a triumph of combustion  (latimes.com) (11)
(Some Shemail Guy) Stupid Neither rain nor sleet nor .....OH CRAP .... A PISSED OFF CHIHUAHUA? I'm out of here  (ktvu.com) (66)
(National Review) Interesting The CIA analyst who predicted the USSR's collapse had 'the smallest fan club in Washington.' Fortunately it consisted of the head of the CIA and President Reagan  (nationalreview.com) (170)
(The Atlantic) Followup Bradley Manning will not be fathering a child with Casey Anthony. For a couple reasons  (theatlantic.com) (72)
(Bloomberg) Fail MLB's All Star Game has its lowest television rating of all time, as big name players treat the game like jury duty  (bloomberg.com) (114)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Man arrested for celebrating the 13th of July in his own front yard  (palmbeachpost.com) (12)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Manorexia. Manorexia? MANOREXIA? WTF?  (dailymail.co.uk) (234)
(Des Moines Register) Interesting Iowa State Fair to drastically increase police security. Organizers hope to stop theft and assaults, keep residents from eating the butter sculpture  (desmoinesregister.com) (23)
(Scientific American) Obvious A new post-Fukushima disaster report says US nuke plants aren't ready for extreme events. So no kite-surfing across Mongolia for you, Three Mile Island  (scientificamerican.com) (14)
(Mother Nature Network) Cool The most awesome bachelor pad ever might be a decommissioned water tower on the outskirts of Antwerp. "The cylindrical reservoir remains an untouched crown on this timeless adventure"  (mnn.com) (16)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Followup Phase 1: Have 100mph crash that is caught on tape. Phase 2: ??? Phase 3: Television show  (news.cincinnati.com) (37)
(Mother Nature Network) Cool "This is a wonderful discovery - it shows that there is real hope for *** in Afghanistan." Okay contestants, what does '***' stand for? A) Freedom? B) Democracy? C) Snow Leopards?  (mnn.com) (14)
(BBC) Spiffy Jane Austen manuscript sells for £850k with bidders startled by the magnificence of Mr. Watson's balls  (bbc.co.uk) (4)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious Ah, the good old "I'm a follower of the Asatru Norse religion and teacher of Medieval Weaponry at the YMCA defense". Well played  (torontosun.com) (50)
(New Zealand Herald) Followup Scotland Yard rings up its seventh arrest in the NotW phone hacking. However, without caller ID, the perp's name was blocked  (nzherald.co.nz) (12)
(Cracked) Interesting A house that looks like boobies, the sidewalk egg, an ewok village and the hobbit house are just a few of the houses you can't believe people live in  (cracked.com) (28)
(Wired) Cool Even Cookie Monster has had it with zombies  (wired.com) (43)
(Science Daily) Scary Bill Cosby to be boiled alive and then frozen  (sciencedaily.com) (65)
(WFTV) Florida Tased by a cop and return the favor by tasing her back? You can still get out of jail every weekend....to preach at your church  (wftv.com) (50)
(Fast Company) Scary Scientists breeding super bees resistant to disease, mites, cold, gorillas, lasers. Bonus: article includes the phrase "if all goes well"  (fastcompany.com) (61)
(Boston Globe) Unlikely In order to promote bicycle safety in Boston, officers will ticket drivers and "remind bike riders to practice safer cycling habits"  (boston.com) (329)
(Daily Mail) Silly That has to be the most stoned polar bear I have ever seen in my life  (dailymail.co.uk) (84)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Miami wants to ban street meat. So much for South Beach  (sun-sentinel.com) (28)
(Seattle Times) Obvious Around this time every year, this town is filled with nothing but a bunch of jackasses  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (20)
(Harper's) Scary For every deranged lunatic that ends up on TV, there are hundreds of lonely, crazy people writing them letters. Here is a sampling of those sent to Casey Anthony  (harpers.org) (91)
(CNN) Amusing Step 1. Make up stories about being a Palestinian terrorist; Step 2. Go on the church/university/police dept lecture circuit. Step 3. Profit, to the tune of $500k/yr  (cnn.com) (67)
(PhysOrg.com) Cool ALL HAIL THE BORNEO TOAD, spotted for the first time in 87 years  (physorg.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Sappy Man dies when the pickup he was using to pull stumps crashes into a big fir tree  (kitsapsun.com) (46)
(Boston Globe) Followup Big Dig engineer suspended for violating first rule of coverups: don't tell reporters there's a coverup  (boston.com) (26)
(Quad City Times) Obvious New research shows non-whites more likely to be ticketed and searched during traffic stops, water is wet  (qctimes.com) (57)
(BBC) Silly UK Police warn about faith healing scammers. Stick to licensed and reputable faith healers or risk handing over your cash for nothing  (bbc.co.uk) (20)
(Some Guy) PSA Ten things to do if you see a UFO. "Clench anus" must be #11  (emmaus.patch.com) (71)
(Short List) Cool Chinese man creates homemade iPad after no one wanted to buy his kidney  (shortlist.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this cool cabbage head  (asergeev.com) (13)
(Fox Business) Dumbass Alan Greenspan claims that the reason why Gen-Xers are out of work is that they are too young, dumb and unproductive as a workforce and have been replaced by imported intelligent, skilled labor  (foxbusiness.com) (485)
(BBC) Strange "Is North Dakota really a US state?" It's not news, it's the BBC  (bbc.co.uk) (99)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Guy separates from wife, cuts her out of his will. He dies, she sues and blames brain tumor for turning him into a tranny. With "It would turn you tranny, too" pic  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)
(Jalopnik) Dumbass Cool: Have $350,000. Questionable: Spend it on a new Lamborghini. Oh, holy $#&, what are you thinking: Have it serviced at Best Buy  (jalopnik.com) (140)
(gigapixel.com) Scary Think you can hide in a crowd? Guess again citizen (use the slide control on the left)  (gigapixel.com) (171)
(MSNBC) Weird Father, son killed by lightning...48 years apart. That's quite a shocking story  (msnbc.msn.com) (37)
(BBC) Amusing British upset that Americans aren't speaking English, and now it's rubbing off on them too  (bbc.co.uk) (272)
(MSNBC) Asinine TSA: our Nude-O-Scopes are safe. Boston TSA screeners: Oh yeah, then why are we getting cancer? TSA: Oh, look at the kitty  (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com) (126)
(ABC News) Sick What's a child molester accused of raping young boys going to do while he sits in jail? Why, watching child pornography videos of course  (abcnews.go.com) (95)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 323: "A Shore Thing". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (220)

Wed July 13, 2011
(The Indy Channel) Asinine It a hot day, you leave your kids in the car with the windows rolled up. A good Samaritan steps in to try to help your kids. Do you C) beat her senseless and then blame her for the fact that you are going to jail  (theindychannel.com) (144)
(Canoe) Interesting The college degrees you should have gotten but didn't get, you big dummy  (cnews.canoe.ca) (183)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this bottle onna beach  (hq.ellf.ru) (29)
(News.com.au) Stupid Court steps in to name two-year-old after mother and father can't agree on what to call her. Tag is for asshat parents  (news.com.au) (118)
(WUSA) Dumbass In a case of the crack pipe not falling far from the tree, former DC Mayor Marion Barry's son arrested on PCP charges  (wusa9.com) (52)
(Gothamist) Obvious And I said what about "Breakfast at Tiffany's?" She said, "I think I remember the film and as I recall, I think, we both kinda liked it." And I said, "Well, that's makes us both racists"  (gothamist.com) (500)
(AnnArbor.com) Dumbass Man arrested for having four kids in a van. Well, the ten kilos of coke played a part, too  (annarbor.com) (40)
(Some Guy) Sad Beauty pageant veteran retires after winning 300 crowns. Fark: She's six years old  (10news.com) (214)
(KMOV St. Louis) Dumbass Man who opens beer and drinks it in Walmart charged with shoplifting and offered a job as a Fark admin  (kmov.com) (60)
(Houston Press) Spiffy Deep In the Heart (Attack) of Texas: NYC restaurant creates Texas sandwich out of chicken fried steak, cream gravy and mac & cheese between slices of Texas toast  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (185)
(MSNBC) Weird Owner of killer bear found dead on waterbed with sex toy in his throat. Oh, is it Wednesday already?  (msnbc.msn.com) (157)
(The Inquirer) Ironic Mark Zuckerberg drops out of Google+ because he doesn't want his personal information compromised  (theinquirer.net) (124)
(News.com.au) Sick Man puts his life at risk to save four-year-old girl from drowning. Just kidding, he kicked her away from a life jacket  (news.com.au) (347)
(ESPN) Cool France surrenders (three goals)  (espn.go.com) (133)
(Some Town Hall) Photoshop Photoshop this optical illusion orb  (s-ak.buzzfed.com) (28)
(NPR) Followup Step 1) Buy overproduced dollar coins with a credit card. Step 2) Pay back credit card with the coins. Step 3) Fly first class with the frequent flyer miles gained  (npr.org) (249)
(The New York Times) Interesting Inside the highly specialized world of the Hasidic private eye: "She was a shiksa goddess. The kind of girl to make the rebbe punch a hole in a Torah scroll. Ach. Skin like satin, or should I say like the finest novy"  (nytimes.com) (53)
(Sun Sentinel) Followup One man's curse: His name is Casey Anthony  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (79)
(NPR) Asinine Old and busted: Organic food. New hotness: Organic water. Come up with something even less capable of organic-ness in the comments  (npr.org) (175)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Sad Barbecue cook killed in drive-by shooting. Police believe he was shot in his ribs  (suntimes.com) (18)
(Some Guy) Cool Radio station holds "The Breast Summer Ever" contest to award boob job to winner. Transwoman makes the vote list. Calling on the power of Fark to help Avery's dream come true (with pic and vids)  (ampradiocalgary.com) (297)
(Yahoo) Interesting CA city 1980-2010: We will buy up all the land surrounding our city to preserve its pristine beauty from the Oil drillers. Ca City 2011: Oil's HOW MUCH a barrel? DRILL BABY DRILL  (news.yahoo.com) (39)
(PhysOrg.com) Sick Kitty litter - now available in your supermarket's cereal aisle  (physorg.com) (54)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Dumbass Statements that precede handcuffs: "I was so drunk that I accidentally. That's what happened"  (press-citizen.com) (47)
(Pat's Papers) Ironic Girl with no legs, no arms says she received unfair marks in the "jumps/kicks category" during her cheerleading tryout  (patspapers.com) (350)
(Wired) Stupid 20% of US Navy ships can't meet standards, may be reassigned to the Air Force  (wired.com) (260)
(wtae.com) Sad Man in motorized wheelchair tries to recreate action sequence from "Transformers 3"  (wtae.com) (21)
(CBS News) Followup Cops put two and two together  (cbsnews.com) (330)
(My Fox DC) Strange Let's see...we have an opening for a woman to be locked in a room and chased around by an old, horny Korean man while being forced to watch porn...part-time...401K. You look qualified - I think you should apply (w/ mugshot)  (myfoxdc.com) (84)
(Some Gal) Spiffy Old & Busted: Steve Buscemi Eyes. New Hotness: Steve Buscemi Boobs  (thefrisky.com) (67)
(Wild Speculation Daily) Obvious Mozart would have lived longer if he went out in the sun, lived in the 21st century, wasn't going insane from chlamydia  (medicalxpress.com) (66)
(Oregon Live) Followup Man who lost his leg after being hit by a train says he wasn't high, just really stupid  (oregonlive.com) (26)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass "T-mobile to offer first caller ID for mobile phones," wrote the news editor as he chomped on a cigar, dialed his rotary phone, and demanded pictures of Spiderman  (chicagotribune.com) (109)
(WSB TV) Dumbass Watch the bad ideas compile as the headline goes on: woman drunkenly drives over 90mph through metro area with four children in the car  (wsbtv.com) (22)
(Telegraph) Sad Read an obituary all the way to the end, and sometimes you'll find out about the time the deceased sliced off his toe while mowing the lawn barefoot, and then his dog ate the severed toe  (telegraph.co.uk) (25)
(SFGate) Followup Man who threatened Vice President on hacked wireless network sentenced to 18 years of Biden his time  (sfgate.com) (72)
(My Fox DC) Dumbass And the warranty is good, not only for your roof, but for your neighbor's roof that we busted up and destroyed before we realized we were on top of the wrong house  (myfoxdc.com) (31)
(Boston Herald) Followup Lawyer for Fall River pool inspectors says even if they saw the dead body they wouldn't have closed the pool because it wasn't their job  (bostonherald.com) (49)
(News.com.au) Stupid Get ready for the latest internet hype: petworking  (news.com.au) (37)
(Some Mug Shot) Florida Today's classic mug shot collection brought to you by Hillsborough County, Florida. Carrot Top's wig surrenders  (brandon.wtsp.com) (29)
(AJC) Followup Philippine bishops say they're sorry, return donated SUVs, explaining that their child seats were incompatible  (ajc.com) (4)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Stupid Minnesota running out of legal beer, liquor and cigarettes. If only there was an operating state government to facilitate such things  (startribune.com) (197)
([Like]) Obvious Two dozen Dallas City Hall workers are being forced to seek counseling for addiction ....to Facebook  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (28)
(The Macomb Daily) Dumbass 'You're arresting God' man tells police. Real name? Kandy. No wonder he lied  (macombdaily.com) (30)
(SeattlePI) Asinine A strip club where the dancers have to stay at least six feet away? Why don't I just wear a raincoat in the shower?  (seattlepi.com) (94)
(CSMonitor) Followup You win this time, socialist CFL bulbs  (csmonitor.com) (575)
(NYPost) Scary Teacher sentenced to 90 days in jail for videotaped sex romp with 15 year old boy. Man, where were these teachers when I was.... AAAAAAUUUGHHHH MY EYES  (nypost.com) (117)
(Some Guy) Amusing What the rich love to steal when they go to hotels. Beer glasses, ashtrays noticably absent  (wtsp.com) (81)
(Time) Strange Bill Gates wants to reinvent the toilet. Supposedly it won't crash as often as Windows  (time.com) (128)
(Some Guy) Stupid One year after Costco shooting, Vegas cops still can't satisfy angry residents, finish giant bag of pretzels  (lvrj.com) (50)
(Reuters) Interesting Intel gathered at his home during the raid proves Bin Laden wet his beak the on 2005 and 2006 London bombing plots  (reuters.com) (60)
(Mother Jones) Asinine Big Coal to West Virginia:it's not our toxic chemicals causing birth defects, it's that you're a bunch of inbred hicks  (motherjones.com) (169)
(Daily Mail) Fail How to party like Charlotte Church: 1. Get sloppy drunk. 2. Nail your boyfriend outside against a van. 3. Wear your panties as an anklet when you rejoin the party 4. Make sure it's all captured on video  (dailymail.co.uk) (223)
(Reuters) Followup ♫ Forces loy-al to Gadda-a-fi / On the offensive near Tripoli ♫  (af.reuters.com) (21)
(health.com) Interesting Good news: smoking protects your joints from osteoarthritis. Bad news: do you realy need me to spell out all the bad news related to smoking?  (news.health.com) (17)
(NYPost) Interesting Governor Cuomo signs bill outlawing texting at the wheel in New York. Sent from my BlackBerry on the New Jersey Turnpike  (nypost.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Asinine With the heat, its time for all the "left animals in car" arrest stories. This one from Miami involves eight roosters, four guinea hens, four pigeons, four goats and one duck  (miami.cbslocal.com) (45)
(SFGate) Asinine PG&E gives reassurances that they will not blame the victims for last year's huge San Bruno gas explosion. Until they decide to blame the victims, of course  (sfgate.com) (14)
(Reuters) Obvious China admits it has a "long way to go" for citizens to enjoy human rights, and that it's on its 'to-do' list, really, right after picking up food for the cat  (ca.reuters.com) (47)
(Reuters) Obvious Libya, where the bad guys are bad, and the NATO supported good guys are....also bad  (af.reuters.com) (58)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Followup Casey Anthony is now an Asian man working at a fish market in San Francisco  (suntimes.com) (138)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Retailers should start screening customers for Alzheimer's. And for Alzheimer's, too  (moneyville.ca) (25)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this Madonna at Madame Tussaud's  (online.wsj.com) (16)
(Stylist) Strange Make-up brand launches beauty service for the deceased - so you don't have to look like death  (stylist.co.uk) (25)
(Yahoo) Fail AP Headline FAIL: "Vietnam releases scared turtle in good health"  (news.yahoo.com) (22)
(AOL) Cool "Wanted: Workers who speak English and show up sober"  (jobs.aol.com) (98)
(Indian Country) Sick You're a Nevada cop whose son and his skinhead friends chase down a Native American family and beat the unarmed father half to death with crowbars and baseball bats. Do you (C) arrest the victim for battery with a deadly weapon?   (indiancountrytodaymedianetwork.com) (241)
(Tampa Bay News Weekly) Florida Former dishwasher fulfills 21-year old dream by owning Village Inn where he used to scrub dishes  (tbnweekly.com) (51)
(SFGate) Amusing Man charged with attempted murder after throwing peanuts on a flight that could've landed near someone allergic to nuts  (sfgate.com) (120)
(Daily Mail) Ironic Not news: Drinking too much is bad for you. Fark: Water  (dailymail.co.uk) (129)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Here's one way to send a message to a city commissioner about the homeless problem: feed them free BBQ in front of the commissioner's house  (mysuncoast.com) (32)
(USA Today) Interesting Harvard physician: If your kids are super-obese, the state should take them away from you  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (219)
(Breitbart.com) Amusing Old and busted: Wearing Muslim head gear for your drivers license photo. New hotness: Wearing Pastafarian headgear for your drivers license photo  (breitbart.com) (76)
(KTLA) Dumbass Rodney King detained for DUI. This is not a repeat from 1991, 1992, 1993, 1995, 2001, 2005 or 2007  (ktla.com) (79)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop these soldiers showing off  (online.wsj.com) (29)
(SeattlePI) Stupid Everybody loves the annual Seattle-to-Portland bike ride. Except for the jackass who scattered tacks along four miles of the route  (seattlepi.com) (309)
(Daily Mail) Strange Pretty sure this is every man's dream  (dailymail.co.uk) (173)

Tue July 12, 2011
(The Times of India) Dumbass Woman held for attempting DIY divorce  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (11)
(Washington Post) Fail Fact check: The politician's statement was "true, but false." That's wonderful, but it sucks  (washingtonpost.com) (70)
(WLSAM) Scary Old and Busted: Abductors offering kids candy. New Hotness: Offering to pays kids' cell phone bills  (wlsam.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Silly *Honk* *Honk* "I have to fart" *Honk* *Honk*  (twinsburg.patch.com) (75)
(SmartMoney) Strange You're still shopping at the dollar store? You'll be the first one up against the wall when the revolution comes, Rockefeller  (blogs.smartmoney.com) (118)
(Quad City Times) Hero Small town in Illinois is banning low-riding pants  (qctimes.com) (161)
(Some Guy) Scary Stoned, bloody, and carrying your severed leg is no way to go through life, son  (blogtown.portlandmercury.com) (53)
(700 WLW) Dumbass Protip: Take care of any outstanding warrants before asking a cop for a ride  (700wlw.com) (17)
(Politico) Stupid NY Clerk quits over gay marriage, saying, "I cannot put my signature on something that is against God"  (politico.com) (676)
(News.com.au) Scary Wife throws husband's junk away  (news.com.au) (310)
(CBS Local) Interesting Yo dawg, we heard you like guide dogs, so we gave your guide dog a guide dog so you can help her navigate while she helps you navigate  (minnesota.cbslocal.com) (34)
(Some Guy) Strange You may have a gambling problem if you find yourself betting on what country the next pope will be from  (paddypower.com) (46)
(The Morning Call) Dumbass Texting "JERK" to your ex-boyfriend while out on bail? You are now charged with harassment and disorderly conduct, LOL  (mcall.com) (61)
(DoD Buzz) Obvious Pamela Anderson doesn't know when the Air Force's grounded F-22 fighters will be able to fly again, though she notes they remain available for high-priority national security missions  (dodbuzz.com) (64)
(Quad City Times) Weird Man selling breathalyzer tests to bar patrons, who question why it takes five minutes to blow in the tube  (qctimes.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Stupid Birthday parties and weddings could be banned in San Francisco parks because of a ballot measure to prevent companies from making money on public property  (sfexaminer.com) (67)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this guy posing with a picture  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (45)
(Yahoo) Followup Casey Anthony's lawyer says she fears for her safety upon her release. Gee I wonder if she feels like a vulnerable and helpless person subject to the whim of a callous, even evil...okay you get the idea  (news.yahoo.com) (279)
(Yahoo) Interesting TV news segment on bear safety at Yellowstone Park suddenly gets real  (news.yahoo.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Cool This evening at sunset be prepared to be awed by the mystical and ancient phenomenon of "Manhattanhenge"   (nz.entertainment.yahoo.com) (53)
(Post-Gazette.com) Stupid You're a singer/songwriter. Your girlfriend complains you've never written a song about her. Do you C) Choke and hit her in the face? Difficulty: not Chris Brown  (postgazette.com) (64)
(The Raw Story) Obvious Republicans are up to their old tricks in Wisconsin, robocalling Democrats to tell them that they don't need to vote today because their absentee ballots are in the mail  (rawstory.com) (289)
(CNN) Unlikely The Fall of the House of Murdoch   (globalpublicsquare.blogs.cnn.com) (79)
(Some Guy) Interesting US to sell F-16s to Iraq to help counterbalance Iran, but don't worry - these are the ones with cassette players and roll-down windows and no keyless entry  (dailystar.com.lb) (102)
(SacBee) Strange The next crazy state fair food is deep-fried *spins wheel*......wait, what?  (sacbee.com) (59)
(People Magazine) Hero The real-life inspiration for "Life is Beautiful" has died at 91: "I have a wonderful family, I celebrated my golden wedding anniversary, I have 12 splendid grandchildren - I think I can say I ruined Hitler's plan for me"  (people.com) (55)
(KHOU Houston) Followup Family of eight moving into a donated four-bedroom house. Previously lived in a 300 square-foot storage shed. Or, as people in Manhattan call it: a penthouse  (khou.com) (79)
(ABC 4) Spiffy The house from "Up" is for sale. Balloons not included  (abc4.com) (34)
(Daily Mail) Fail Tree surgeon almosts beheads himself with chainsaw, the poor sap  (dailymail.co.uk) (44)
(SFGate) Scary Observers reported seeing a strange black cloud and roaring noise before realizing....AAAAAHHHHHH  (sfgate.com) (111)
(IOL) Obvious Is your relationship getting in the way of the Internet?  (iol.co.za) (71)
(LA Times) PSA Busy 405 Freeway in Los Angeles to close for more than two days starting this weekend. This means during peak times traffic will be moving at its usual speed  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (116)
(Yahoo) Followup Report finds that as many as 60 Pennsylvania schools may have been part of the Greater Atlanta School District  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(CBS News) Obvious Mention scandals in veteran health care, solider suicide and for-profit colleges, and the nation yawns. But show a midway carnie cheating a soldier, and we'll get medieval on your ass  (cbsnews.com) (62)
(CNN) Hero Army Ranger to receive Medal of Honor today, following two tours of duty in Iraq, six in Afghanistan, and the acquisition of an awesome robot hand  (cnn.com) (102)
(Some Bombed Guy) Stupid PA University criminologist prof creates an MS degree for Strategic Studies in Weapons of Mass Destruction, huge funnel for Federal cash  (pittsburghlive.com) (14)
(Daily Mail) Fail Pilot in WWI-era Fokker executes perfect one-point landing at air show  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)
(Fosters.com) Dumbass Police Capt. Dumas: Nothing suspicious about the dead body found in a burning car, it happens sometimes. People just explode. Natural causes  (fosters.com) (36)
(The Sun) Spiffy We're gonna need a bigger boat  (thesun.co.uk) (73)
(MSNBC) Interesting Shooting and seriously wounding a man who is trying to rob your store is self defense. Switching guns and firing five more rounds into that man to finish him off, now that is first degree murder and a life sentence  (msnbc.msn.com) (368)
(Some marine mammal) Interesting Former SEALs upset that Discovery Channel's 'Secrets of SEAL Team Six' documentary may have put team members at risk. Network executives busy trying to remove mysterious red dot that's appeared on their chests  (wtkr.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The big surprise is finally legal in the big easy  (rt.com) (93)
(The New York Times) Spiffy How 10,000 Parisians keep a secret  (nytimes.com) (57)
(News.com.au) Asinine Driver plays chicken with turkeys. No kidding. Your leg, I would not pullet  (news.com.au) (21)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Ran from the cops, and it was a gas. Now his heart is full of glass  (chicagotribune.com) (28)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Obvious Doctor's Rx: Spank child liberally with paddle, call me in the morning  (star-telegram.com) (96)
(Daily Mail) Interesting After being the butt of so many jokes in the last few decades, the YMCA is up against stiff competition from gay hotel chain willing to bend over backwards to insure its customers receive a happy ending  (dailymail.co.uk) (44)
(Some Blue Harvest Guy) Cool Finally, Star Wars from the Emperor's point of view (Sponsored link)  (amazon.com) (68)
(MSNBC) Cool Miss South Carolina shed like such as half her body weight before winning her crown  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (124)
(Some Guy) Silly Now on sale: Sheriff Arpaio's new brand of "Vamos Jose" pink boxers  (kpho.com) (34)
(Pensacola News Journal) Florida Man arrested for beating a dirty nine-year-old boy, but his excuse won't wash with the police  (pnj.com) (43)
(The Sun) Spiffy Direct descendant of Jesus returns to walk on the Sea of Galilee  (thesun.co.uk) (58)
(Time) Interesting Record heatwave hits 15 states and...uh....wait, what was this article abo....*stares*  (newsfeed.time.com) (165)
(Some Guy) Obvious Oh yeah, that really hot 19-year old college chick who friended you and wants you to text her naked pictures of yourself, well it's actually a 42-year old pervy dude  (wtvr.com) (99)
(UPI) Fail Anybody can lose their wallet while commiting a robbery, but it takes a special kind of fail to forget your pit bull  (upi.com) (14)
(Yahoo) Fail Good: Chase is no longer having people arrested for cashing their checks. Fark: By declaring them dead  (old.news.yahoo.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Scary "You'd be surprised how hard it is to see an airplane coming at you"  (adn.com) (46)
(Yahoo) Misc "Dunia, a 40-year-old Indian elephant, and her counterpart Daela, a 25-year-old African elephant, were apprehended by police near the western city of Hanover over the weekend." Wonder what they were charged with  (news.yahoo.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Interesting Let's hear a big round of applause for cougars. Clap clap clap  (perthnow.com.au) (39)
(Some Guy) Obvious Australia puts health warnings on alcohol bottles, aimed at teenagers and pregnant women. Since one usually leads to the other, why the fark not?  (680news.com) (9)
(CBC) Dumbass Charges laid in empty-house standoff, empty house has yet to retain a lawyer  (cbc.ca) (28)
(Daily Mail) Scary Vacationing man can't see why people like Angry Birds so much  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Lincoln documents almost stolen. Crook figured he would take a shot  (myfoxdc.com) (17)
(Financial Times) Followup News International is working hard to investigate itself, and should have Rupert Murdoch's cell phone tapped any day now  (ft.com) (16)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Inventor of copper-lined PVC pipe arrested at Home Depot  (nj.com) (101)
(TC Palm) Florida When trying to pass a DUI test, don't fool yourself into thinking that eating two chickens, six wings, two racks of ribs and a cheeseburger will help. A South Florida man already tried it  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (39)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail Parents shocked after alligator bites their son after he decided to pet it  (chicagotribune.com) (45)
(WFTV) Florida Panthers lose another one on lastest road trip  (wftv.com) (13)
(Some Guy) Obvious This is what happens when your child first meets a gay married couple  (blogs.babble.com) (315)
(Daily Mail) Strange With a knick-knack-paddy whack, give a dog a bone  (dailymail.co.uk) (26)
(CBC) Followup Chinese toddler who fell 10 stories wakes from coma and opens eyes, but not too much  (cbc.ca) (134)
(Some Guy) Weird If your ex-girlfriend won't fit in a clothes dryer, the proper thing to do is shave her head  (kirotv.com) (34)
(UPI) Dumbass No, driving a forklift does not make you immune to process servers  (upi.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Cool Hey Mr. Porsche guy, that Hyundai just smoked your ass  (insideline.com) (407)
(BBC) Fail How an LSD raid in the UK started the war on drugs. Trippy  (bbc.co.uk) (63)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious With baseball in its All Star break, the US Predators swing for the fences in Pakistan, send 38 home as a gentle reminder of big league contract negotiation  (chron.com) (31)
(Kokomo Tribune) Dumbass "It was like an explosion went off.... He got out and tried to order some hot dogs"  (kokomotribune.com) (22)
(CNN) Interesting Fredo Karzai assassinated. No motive known  (cnn.com) (53)
(BBC) Obvious Snow strands thousands in Bolivia. Fortunately, they're all really chatty and are making plans to do more together later and canIhaveacigarette?  (bbc.co.uk) (17)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop a Kiliki trying to calm a crying kid  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (23)
(AJC) Strange Utah man will let you hunt him for $10,000. For an extra $2,000, he'll be naked  (blogs.ajc.com) (65)
(Omaha World Herald) Asinine Omaha school district spends $130,000 of federal money to buy 8,000 copies of a diversity manual  (omaha.com) (201)
(Telegraph) Strange Jesus Christ, that's a big statue  (telegraph.co.uk) (86)
(Daily Mail) Interesting California investigators have a new suspect in the Santa Rosa Hitchhiker Murders of 1972-73. Ted Bundy  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)
(republic.com) Interesting Man wins buffalo chip tossing contest by heaving dried bison manure 168 feet. After the victory, nobody shakes his hand  (therepublic.com) (13)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Bad news for the producers of "16 and Pregnant"  (news.yahoo.com) (181)
(Gawker) Scary Giant Brazilian zombie spider hides in bananas, causes giant boners  (gawker.com) (98)
(CBC) Spiffy Stuck at a police checkpoint? Probably not a good time to light up that joint  (cbc.ca) (79)
(Village Voice) Asinine Man called floppy-eared rabbit retorts rabidly  (blogs.villagevoice.com) (17)
(Some Guy) Stupid Accident victim: "I don't have insurance, don't take me to the hospital" Paramedic: $orry $ir, it'$ regulation$  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (419)
(The New York Times) Interesting CIA admits US Government used vaccination programs to obtain DNA samples. Why did they do this? BIN LADEN  (nytimes.com) (71)
(SMH) Interesting Teachers in England now allowed to use force to control unruly pupils, make sure they eat their meat before they're allowed to have any pudding  (smh.com.au) (86)
(Some Girls) Photoshop Photoshop this mod squad  (farbror-sid.se) (27)

Mon July 11, 2011
(LA Times) Sad Scientists claim moderate drinking **spins wheel** causes cancer  (latimes.com) (119)
(Daily Mail) PSA The Daily Fail says it's okay to berate your spouse of 25 years because they've gotten fat and old: "...it's hard to desire someone who makes no effort whatsoever to be desirable"  (dailymail.co.uk) (127)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing This week's Mugshot Roundup debuts the Windy City Trick Clique. Hayyyyyyyyy  (thesmokinggun.com) (171)
(io9) Strange It's a crappy way to travel but it beats going through the TSA  (io9.com) (70)
(Local10) Spiffy In the "Everything's bigger in Texas" deartment: 16lb 4oz newborn boy (bonus: nicknamed Moose)  (local10.com) (174)
(Daily Mail) Weird Scientology has upped the ante for harassment of former members: mass-unfriending  (dailymail.co.uk) (271)
(NJ.com) Scary Man who was beaten with a branch makes like a tree and gets out of there  (nj.com) (45)
(BBC) Fail New intelligence agency headquarters: $2.3 billion. Losing the secret, highly detailed blueprints for your new intelligence agency headquarters: priceless  (bbc.co.uk) (44)
(Mother Nature Network) Scary Q: Are lakes safe to swim in? A: Yes, as long as you don't mind the occasional snake, snapping turtle, alligator, leech, Asian carp, and/or homicidal maniac wearing a hockey mask  (mnn.com) (88)
(Des Moines Register) Asinine Local busybody wants new high school principal fired for "co-habiting outside the bonds of marriage"  (desmoinesregister.com) (130)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop this banal beach  (inapcache.boston.com) (49)
(PennLive) Interesting Cool: You own more nightclubs in your city than anyone else. Silly: The city is Harrisburg, PA  (pennlive.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Scary Martial law declared in AZ town where lady was arrested while speaking during the public session of a municipal council meeting. They can do that?  (www2.az-independent.com) (255)
(BBC) Strange Not news: perfect image of Jesus on your toast. Fark: perfect image of owl in window  (bbc.co.uk) (65)
(Cracked) Fail I'm sensing this will be greenlit  (cracked.com) (292)
(Hartford Courant) Stupid Trio of female diners split check, waitress's lip  (courant.com) (65)
(AP) Stupid British government says everyone should exercise, even those too young to walk. Time to work off that baby fat, baby  (hosted.ap.org) (25)
(AL.com) Strange "His sister came into his room this morning, yelling about the sandwich. She tried to pour shampoo on him and then struck him with her hand several times"  (blog.al.com) (39)
(Fox News) Scary The train in Maine is mostly in flames  (foxnews.com) (49)
(Washington Post) Interesting Curiouser and curiouser: PM Gordon Brown allegedly hacked by NOTW  (washingtonpost.com) (80)
(NJ.com) Sad Jersey barrier on Jersey Turnpike kills Jersey worker. Jersey  (nj.com) (35)
(The Smoking Gun) Strange Three intoxicated thieves steal 14-foot stuffed alligator to go mud bogging in pickup truck. (w/ mugshot goodness)  (thesmokinggun.com) (44)
(Reuters) Sad You Must Be At Least This Tall And Have All Four Of Your Limbs To Ride This Ride  (reuters.com) (162)
(NJ.com) Amusing Woman not amused to discover that Google maps shows her driveway as the entrance to a state park  (nj.com) (106)
(Connecticut Post) Weird Naked woman found dead after getting into a fight with a church statue. Police are looking for a carpenter in His early thirties for questioning  (ctpost.com) (53)
(Mirror.co.uk) Followup Fired News of the World staff get their crossword revenge, prove skills as cunning linguists  (mirror.co.uk) (60)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Guy racks up 10 million frequent flyer miles on United Airways. Has plane named after him, Free flights for rest of life. Also likes crappy service and being fondled by the TSA  (dailymail.co.uk) (76)
(UPI) Florida He refuses to let you shave your legs and pits with his razor, you whack him on the head with a frying pan. It's the Florida way  (upi.com) (46)
(AL.com) Interesting AK-47, the very best there is. When you absolutely, positively, got to rob a Pizza Hut with your two girlfriends; accept no substitutes  (blog.al.com) (215)
(Chronicle Herald) Strange McDonald's is really stepping up the gift in the Happy Meal  (thechronicleherald.ca) (55)
(TC Palm) Florida After spending the evening with three prostitutes, don't fall asleep or your payday cash might get stolen. If you recall, this is what you told police has happened EVERY SINGLE TIME you've hired a hooker in the past  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (43)
(NJ.com) Asinine Economy so bad that you can't even afford a staycation? The Society to Destroy the English Language One Word at at Time gives you "workamping"  (nj.com) (65)
(NYPost) Amusing Is it kosher to shtup a hooker on Shabbos? How about if you just lie there and she does all the work? What? No mikvah? Oy vey  (nypost.com) (139)
(LA Times) Interesting In November, San Franciscans will vote on whether to ban the practice of male circumcision. Retailers report they've sold out of giant foam helmets and turtlenecks  (latimes.com) (320)
(wtsp.com) Florida If you're gonna let your toddler drink beer, at least have him do it *inside* your trailer  (wtsp.com) (34)
(The New Yorker) Dumbass Some people LIKE the trouble-causing, time-wasting, money-scattering, frantically promiscuous, bar-cruising, tearoom peeping, street crotch-watching, bathhouse-towel-twitching, and movie house-nervous-knee single set  (newyorker.com) (65)
(ABC News) Weird 11-year-old girl suing her father because he was shot in the head during road rage incident  (abcnews.go.com) (145)
(MSNBC) Followup The miserable postscript of Juror #12  (fieldnotes.msnbc.msn.com) (398)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this bike bearer  (online.wsj.com) (21)
(USA Today) Interesting Hatchbacks are making a comeback, says Pacer Q. Gremlin  (usatoday.com) (266)
(Mother Jones) Interesting Cats aren't just soulless tools of the devil that want to kill you in your sleep, they're also bad for the environment  (motherjones.com) (226)
(UPI) Unlikely Survey reports women like polo shirts and khakis, dislike shirtless look and Speedos. Men like white pants and short skirts, dislike big sunglasses and thong swimsuits. Are they sure they asked straight men?  (upi.com) (202)
(Stuff) Spiffy Flightless US Apache helicopter gets a tow from flightless Kiwi armoured vehicle  (stuff.co.nz) (40)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Pro tip: If you're going to deny taking part in an armed robbery, don't note the heist in your appointment calendar  (mirror.co.uk) (10)
(BBC) Followup Pakistan: That's okay, we don't need your money. All we need is just this ashtray...and this paddle game. The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all we need... And this remote control  (bbc.co.uk) (56)
(Some Guy) Obvious Alsdkjf ladksfj sdlfjk asdl;fj s  (herald-zeitung.com) (167)
(Yahoo) Unlikely USPS may issue stamp honoring Wilt Chamberlain. Will only be for large packages overnight  (sports.yahoo.com) (27)
(NPR) Interesting Two thumbs, like, way far up, man  (npr.org) (81)
(Lifehacker) Interesting You think prescription drugs for humans are expensive? You can save major cash getting Rover's pills at Walgreens rather than the vet  (lifehacker.com) (119)
(Mirror.co.uk) Fail If you had "9/11 victims" as the next group of people News of the World tried to phone hack, step forward and reclaim your privacy  (mirror.co.uk) (151)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this green gunk gatherer  (online.wsj.com) (20)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Precious snowflakes becoming more violent towards parents when they don't get their way  (dailymail.co.uk) (242)
(Seattle Times) Weird Park officials warn: Don't urinate on the trails. It pisses off the goats  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (29)
(Denver Post) Scary Rio De Janero has 60,000 unsolved murders in 10 years and 24,000 haven't been identified  (denverpost.com) (93)
(Gizmodo) Scary The Big Dig still thirsts for your blood  (gizmodo.com) (73)
(BBC) Interesting Why do Americans die younger than Britons?  (bbc.co.uk) (248)
(AZCentral) Obvious When you designate a city's service van for picking up drunk people, it's only a matter of time before someone drunkenly decides to commandeer the van for a joyride  (azcentral.com) (15)
(Poynter.org) Amusing The graphics department at USA Today needs to get laid. Badly  (poynter.org) (186)
(Seattle Times) Strange A former NASA official has made it his life's goal to track down all of the 230 moon rocks on earth. A captain on the first season of 'The Deadliest Catch' is giving him a headache  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (128)

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