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Sun July 24, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Guardian.com) Interesting Why people are dicks online  (guardian.co.uk) (349)
(BBC) Cool Hints of the Higgs boson seen tomorrow at the LHC  (bbc.co.uk) (109)
(Chicago Tribune) Sad Gay Pakistani Muslim poet dead at 64 after a long battle with irony  (chicagotribune.com) (79)
(Denver Post) Sad Authorities search for coyote with head stuck in jar. Was also seen wearing roller skates, jetpack and holding small sign the reads HELP  (denverpost.com) (57)
(MSNBC) Interesting Ancient dinosaur-eating crocodile had huge teeth, a dog's face, and long, spindly arms. Scientists have named this creature "HillarySwankasaurus"  (msnbc.msn.com) (69)
(Magic Valley) Cool Last year a road rally driver got written up by a police officer for 189.6 mph. If you think you can beat that, head to Idaho on July 30  (magicvalley.com) (75)
(Some Guy) Scary Giant spider injures three and causes a mass evacuation of the area  (herald-dispatch.com) (128)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this leg up on the competition  (online.wsj.com) (35)
(Slate) Scary So what actually WILL happen if the government defaults? Massive unemployment? No credit? Depleted savings? Bank runs? Dogs and cats living together? Mass hysteria?  (slate.com) (729)
(Nola.com) Asinine Welcome to New Orleans, where you can have a yard sign supporting your school or sports team, but not your son's military service. Why did we rebuild that place again?  (nola.com) (133)
(Some Naked David Guy) Interesting If artistic masterpieces like Michelangelo's David are sacrosanct, then why are books, movies and music edited and censored?  (sbsun.com) (97)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy Washington man is world beard champion. His competition doesn't know a how how how how he did it  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (91)
(Miami Herald) Florida There's a new weinermobile taking to the streets, and it's 100% Kosher  (miamiherald.com) (49)
(Daily Mail) Cool Amazing pictures of Mexico's crystal caves  (dailymail.co.uk) (66)
(BBC) Amusing Britain's dial-in Speaking Clock in business for 75 years, thanks to British obsession with accurate time delivered by clipped female voice. Expert submits his own PC running 4 minutes late as example of why service is still needed  (bbc.co.uk) (54)
(The Advocate) Interesting From the missing the point department: Mayor doesn't think he has to give state Interstate speeding ticket fines, as required by anti-speed trap law, because he already spent that money on police overtime pay  (theadvocate.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Fail Not news: Student does poorly on exam. News: She sues over her exam score. Fark: Because she wanted an even lower score to fail the exam  (ndtv.com) (94)
(Precious Little Snowflake) Obvious Little Snowflake's perspective on unemployment among college graduates. Subby would laugh, but she's too busy filling out applications  (dailynews.com) (773)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Scary Without RTFA, subby took one look at the pic of the Asian tiger mosquito and had flashbacks of a long and storied war with those motherfarkers. Bonus: new reasons to hate Texas and rubbers.Well, rubber tires actually, but whatever  (myfoxtwincities.com) (110)
(Quad City Times) Scary Ninety year-olds took to the streets on motorcycles yesterday and, amazingly enough, lived  (qctimes.com) (47)
(Telegraph) Spiffy The world's most expensive hot dog features a half-pound all-beef sausage rolled in truffle oil, coated with the dust of pulverised porcini mushrooms, and topped with white truffle shavings. Sells for $80  (telegraph.co.uk) (252)
(espn) News Ended, the NFL labor wars have... almost  (cbssports.com) (311)
(The Courier) Obvious It's summer, so it's time for your annual reminder that cows with calves view dogs as threatening and will kick your ass  (thecourier.co.uk) (34)
(My San Antonio) Hero 72 year-old Marine gets robbed. You can guess how this story ends  (mysanantonio.com) (247)
(Telegraph) Photoshop Photoshop this algae swimmer  (i.telegraph.co.uk) (30)
(Duke Sucks) Obvious 杜克大學很爛  (charlotteobserver.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Interesting In 2010, Iceland's notorious volcanoes were the worst thing for the country's economy. In 2011, Iceland's notorious volcanoes are the best thing for the country's economy  (vancouversun.com) (23)
(Boston Globe) Interesting "The men working on the trail are fit and slim. Each was shirtless and tanned, dressed in dusty boots, work pants, and dandelion-yellow construction helmets." Also, for the straight Farkers, 1000 words about rebuilding a mountain trail  (boston.com) (72)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Jet ski with a mission to find Sarah Connor  (dailymail.co.uk) (20)
(Some Guy) Spiffy Antiques Roadshow makes its most valuable find ever: rhino horn cups from 17th century China. Of course, it should have come as no surprise when they decided to film in Tulsa, Okla... wait, what?  (kjrh.com) (124)
(MSNBC) Asinine Federal airline taxes are expiring so the airlines are cutting prices. Just kidding, prices are going up  (msnbc.msn.com) (96)
(My Fox Dallas) Scary Six dead, four wounded at roller rink shooting. Because in Texas, OF COURSE you bring your gun to the children's party at Roller World  (myfoxdfw.com) (260)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this play for pennies  (shorpy.com) (25)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Are you rich? Do you have a small penis? Well then this is the boat for you (with a phallic volcano surrounded by fake shrubbery)  (dailymail.co.uk) (130)
(Daily Mail) Fail Alaskan island poised to erupt, with a helpful map of what the South Pacific might look like  (dailymail.co.uk) (90)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Chipmunk does Bogart impressions, taunts big balled squirrels  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)

Sat July 23, 2011
(AOL) Stupid What do you do if a company suspends you and forgets to quit paying you for 12 years? C: Sue the bastards for wrongful termination and file for unemployment  (jobs.aol.com) (105)
(LA Times) Asinine No more ferrets for the blind  (latimes.com) (85)
(Some Guy) PSA Dallas suburb is the nation's Idiocracy food capitol. Oh, and it has TWO Costco stores. I love you  (dfw.cbslocal.com) (150)
(Some California guy) Unlikely Report of a HUGE black plane chasing a black helicopter chasing an orange-red orb flying erratically. Too bad there's no video or it'd make one heck of a Benny Hill spoof  (agoracosmopolitan.com) (139)
(Some Guy) Interesting Seven Star Wars characters who should get their own movie: not a trap, and on target  (empireonline.com) (159)
(Huffington Post) Sick Bad: you're arrested. Worse: you got your picture and name in the news. Worst: it's for having sex with a horse. Fark: again  (huffingtonpost.com) (106)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Knowing your alcohol limit, not knowing any songs in the Top Ten, avoiding noisy bars, and 27 others signs you're about to start telling kids to stay off your lawn  (dailymail.co.uk) (95)
(The Christian Post) Asinine To those of you who predicted Casey Anthony would profit off of her acquittal, come up to claim your prize: it's just another Casey Anthony thread. Unlike the $1 million prize she's getting  (christianpost.com) (98)
(Google) Obvious Let's check in and see how crazy ol' Tucson shooter Jared Lee Loughner is holding up in jail  (google.com) (163)
(PennLive) Asinine Mom charged for illegally entering school bus to check on son she thought fell ill, just to find he was just sleeping  (pennlive.com) (91)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this muddy man  (spiegel.de) (20)
(Daily Mail) Asinine Bullet train not fast enough, gets hit by other train  (dailymail.co.uk) (62)
(Some Guy) Asinine Borat beats the heatwave on two wheels. Very nice  (fox2now.com) (56)
(CNBC) Amusing Not News: Rich men like $600-per-hour women. News: Busted. Fark: Article gives her website  (cnbc.com) (143)
(LA Times) Obvious Q: How do you keep a lobster straight? A: Have him avoid San Francisco at all costs  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (51)
(BBC) Interesting Phone hacking investigation expands to 31 publications. OH LOOK OVER THERE, it's Murdoch, kick him, kick the feeble conservative  (bbc.co.uk) (149)
(Talking Points Memo) Stupid So THAT'S why the debt ceiling talks blew up. At the last minute, Boehner added a repeal of the Healthcare Reform mandate to his list of demands  (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (296)
(LA Times) Spiffy Optimism is the key to avoiding strokes. Oh, who am I kidding, the admins hate me and will probably redlight thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii&*&**#$e   (latimes.com) (23)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Wheaton Tornado reported in Wheaton. Wil is a force to be reckoned with  (suntimes.com) (37)
(USA Today) Misc New Yorkers join the rest of the Midwest in the Humidity is Too Damn High Party  (usatoday.com) (61)
(UPI) Misc Astronomers spot cosmic reservoir of water at least 140 trillion times that of all the Earth's oceans 30 billion trillion miles away. Wow, that's useful  (upi.com) (132)
(YouTube) Followup If you're already missing Amy Winehouse...here is her 15 year old, soul singing god-daughter  (youtube.com) (73)
(Washington Post) Followup One down, three to go  (washingtonpost.com) (28)
(Huffington Post) Weird ♫ Head, shoulders, knees and toes toes toes toes toes toes toes toes toes ♫  (huffingtonpost.com) (46)
(CNN) Interesting Cocaine: The evolution of the once 'wonder' drug. [themoreyouknow.jpg]  (cnn.com) (61)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida I like my Florida like I like my women: COVERED IN BEES  (sun-sentinel.com) (33)
(Daily Mail) NewsFlash Amy Winehouse wins backstage passes to Club 27  (dailymail.co.uk) (lots)
(Some Evolved Guy) Cool Texas board of education votes against willful ignorance  (ncse.com) (239)
(Reuters) Obvious Remember the civil war in Libya? Well, Ghaddafi wants more talks with rebels, which makes sense, since NATO keeps bombing the shiate out of Tripoli  (reuters.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this determined diver  (img705.imageshack.us) (38)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Dumbass If you think you're getting a $2,000 television for $300, subby has some great speakers he would like to sell you. Just step to the back of my white van  (star-telegram.com) (84)
(AZCentral) Interesting Bob's not quite as happy now  (azcentral.com) (57)
(Washington Post) Sad Sad: Careless Aussie forklift operator smashed 461 crates of wine bound for the US/ Tragic: a Shiraz that sells for $200+/bottle  (washingtonpost.com) (121)
(Daily Mail) Interesting People deprived of the internet feel upset and lonely, find going offline as hard as quitting smoking, drinking, vicodin or your Mom  (dailymail.co.uk) (42)
(Google) Scary Protip: If it hasn't rained in over two years and there is no food, it's time to find someplace else to live. Simple, right?  (google.com) (191)
(El Paso Times) Scary 5-year-old gets craving for candy bar in middle of the night, decides to drive the family minivan to store. What could possibly go wrong?  (elpasotimes.com) (55)
(wtsp.com) Florida Today's man arrested for videotaping police on his cell phone brought to you by *shakes magic 8 ball* Tampa  (wtsp.com) (106)
(Yahoo) Interesting 2,773 lbs of meth, 6,000 lbs of coke, 1,005 lbs of heroin, 14,818lbs of pot. Is it A) the makings of epic party b) the drugs seized during raids on the La Familia cartel or C) An insignificant win in the War on Drugs  (news.yahoo.com) (69)
(Fox News) Strange "We're calling this one a non-injury collision with a twist." TA-DA  (foxnews.com) (35)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida 12 foot alligator found lounging on city street. "This is the time of the year when you will find them on the sidewalk"  (palmbeachpost.com) (24)
(Versus the World) Audio If you missed w00tstock, you missed the brilliance of Ernest Cline and why today's geeks have it too easy. Bonus: Fark shoutout from Wil Wheaton at the beginning  (media.vtwproductions.com) (21)
(Some Crazy Guy) Caturday Crazy cat lady has over 700 cats, enough for everyone on Caturday  (odditycentral.com) (795)
(Huffington Post) Followup Remember that article saying that the attacks in Oslo were by a group of radical Islamists? Well, turns out it was by a single far-right wing Christian who hated Islam. Oops  (huffingtonpost.com) (788)
(Daily Mail) Scary 150 human-animal hybrids have been created in British labs over the last three years  (dailymail.co.uk) (213)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man standing in his driveway only wearing socks gets charged twice for indecent exposure. No, it wasn't one for each ball  (nwfdailynews.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this happy sashman  (saintanna.ru) (28)
(Some Guy) Interesting What kids of the world eat at school  (todayilearned.co.uk) (121)
(UPI) Obvious Apparently, when airline workers jam their walkie-talkie antenna between a woman's legs and inquire whether she is wearing panties, women get all lawsuity  (upi.com) (76)
(Daily Mail) Fail Protip: Going abroad for discount surgery might not be the best idea  (dailymail.co.uk) (56)
(Sign On San Diego) Scary Beware the fury of the Comic Con nerds: That's a real AR-15  (signonsandiego.com) (146)
(NJ.com) Asinine Two 14-year-olds moon their friends, get put on 'sex offender' registry for life. I feel safer already  (nj.com) (478)
(CBSSacramento.com) Amusing If you drop your wallet into the sewers and can't reach it, just let it go man, it's.... no seriously, don't stick your head in. Dude, you don't need... okay. I'll call 911 for you. (w/ pic)  (sacramento.cbslocal.com) (46)

Fri July 22, 2011
(Stuff) Scary New Zealand fishing = SERIOUS BUSINESS  (stuff.co.nz) (16)
(BBC) Stupid Apparently, in Ireland, the police will end your wedding if it seems fake. Oh yeah, and a wedding between people of different ethnic backgrounds seems fake  (bbc.co.uk) (98)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Window Hawk  (i.imgur.com) (65)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Man puts gun to wife's head during argument over who's the favorite grandchild. The police are called to weigh in on the issue  (nwfdailynews.com) (38)
(I'm speechless) Florida Protip: when siphoning gas from a car, don't use a leaf blower as a pump. It makes things all explody  (baynews9.com) (53)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Another TSA Screener arrested for theft. Or as most experienced travelers call it, Friday  (orlandosentinel.com) (101)
(Hartford Courant) Scary World Health Organisation says going into hospital far riskier than flying  (courant.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Sick Guess who's admitting guilt in the Oslo attacks?  (jihadica.com) (457)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing This week's Mugshot Roundup comes with a silver lining  (thesmokinggun.com) (142)
(Toronto Star) Spiffy Park car in direct sun. Season slab of beef. Place inside of car and wait a few hours. Mmmmm, perfect roast beef  (thestar.com) (103)
(Some Guy) Fail And so it begins: FAA to partially shut down at midnight as lawmakers go home for weekend. Enjoy the friendly skies  (wtkr.com) (110)
(Sun Sentinel) Weird Your WTF Image of the Day  (sun-sentinel.com) (169)
(Huffington Post) Interesting Top party colleges by salary potential. "So, how we doing?" "Looks like University of Illinois"  (huffingtonpost.com) (137)
(NJ.com) Silly Newark "Day of Outrage" attracts dozens of protestors angry about... something  (nj.com) (81)
(The Eagle Tribune) Obvious Lawyer: My client was violently thrown from her seat suffering serious injuries. Police: But the video shows that she barely moved. Lawyer: My client is on her own. I'm outta here  (eagletribune.com) (104)
(MSNBC) Interesting Ten completely useless homemade machines. Come for the stuffed mouse USB drive, stay for the beer-pouring machine and fart-operated TV remote. Wait, those might be useful after all  (gadgetbox.msnbc.msn.com) (72)
(The New York Times) Asinine Arizona boobs upset about weathermen using the term "Haboobs," taking jobs away from American words  (nytimes.com) (287)
(Mirror.co.uk) Dumbass Protip: selling your kidney to buy an engagement ring MIGHT creep out your girlfriend  (mirror.co.uk) (57)
(CNN) Fail Clown car up on blocks. (video warning)  (cnn.com) (53)
(FARK) Weird Books closed, please. It's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (39)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) Fail Longstanding family fight over the ownership of a trailer sparked a son to take a machete to his parents and siblings. He managed to injure none of them  (press-citizen.com) (34)
(io9) PSA How to turn an orange peel into a mini-flamethrower  (io9.com) (58)
(The Macomb Daily) Dumbass Style points for tossing the can back over his head after finishing it while cop was arresting him  (macombdaily.com) (23)
(MSNBC) Interesting What's the right age to give your precious snowflake a cellphone? Wrong  (redtape.msnbc.msn.com) (185)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing "Smelly Feet" and "Poon" are but two of the perps you'll meet in this week's Friday Photo Fun prize contest  (thesmokinggun.com) (17)
(11 Alive) Strange 48 year old Lolita arrested for trespassing in her own home  (11alive.com) (104)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Best. Press Conference. EVAR  (myfoxdc.com) (61)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Dumbass Man didn't realize his bullets fell out of his gun before he tried to shoot the cop trying to...wait, that's a woman? Really? Christ. Anyway, the cop shot her in the ass  (suntimes.com) (60)
(WJRT) Sad Today's peasant uprising forecast: Mostly pitchforky with a chance of torches  (abc12.com) (78)
(My Fox DC) Strange Not sure how this would really help the situation - but then again, things always get better when Thai hookers are involved  (myfoxdc.com) (22)
(Jalopnik) Scary 1) Pull over broken down car. 2) Rant at driver for six minutes preventing them from speaking. 3) Go apeshiat and threaten to execute the driver when he presents you with his CC permit on camera. 4) FREE VACATION FOR ALL  (jalopnik.com) (539)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this barbed wire  (ok.ya1.ru) (36)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Sometimes when your girlfriend refuses to stay in her room, you just gotta break out the samurai sword  (sun-sentinel.com) (23)
(Reuters) Obvious Casey Anthony gets the job offers. You get the legal bills. No wonder she's America's sweetheart  (reuters.com) (117)
(WWL) Dumbass Shooting a robbery victim with a nail-loaded flare gun is no way to go through life, son  (wwl.com) (57)
(AZCentral) Spiffy Easiest job in the world: Being the ASU professor in charge of recruiting students to get drunk  (azcentral.com) (31)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Posting a fake "I want sex" ad for your ex is never a good idea ... but using a photo of a obese black woman in a suggestive pose could get you arrested  (hillcountrynews.com) (53)
(Connecticut Post) Sad Cops arrest the coolest mom ever  (ctpost.com) (80)
(Click Orlando) Florida Need to go commit some crimes, but don't want to bring your toddler? Just leave him with a homeless heroin addict  (clickorlando.com) (17)
(People Magazine) Strange Two mysterious deaths in a millionaire's mansion. Colonel Mustard reported to have retained Jose Baez  (people.com) (40)
(NYPost) Sick If you're thinking about beating the heat at one of NYC's many beaches, be warned, there is poop... poop everywhere  (nypost.com) (68)
(Short List) Amusing Excuse me dear sir, but I appear to be at the point of pre-orgasmal no return. Chat later?  (shortlist.com) (37)
(Gizmodo) Scary Sun tanning. You're damned if you do, damned if you don't  (gizmodo.com) (69)
(WESH Orlando) Florida Man seeks felony stupidity charge to be dropped like an anchor  (wesh.com) (33)
(Kansas City) Amusing It may be ingenious to mount an umbrella to your Smart car so it is always in the shade when you park it, but you still look like a dork  (kansascity.com) (92)
(Some Guy) Strange Man's death is a mystery to family and local media. Even the black widow spider that bit him 19 times is baffled  (kdvr.com) (76)
(CNN) NewsFlash A Møøse once blew up my sister... Mynd you, Møøse bombs kan be pretty nasti  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (1195)
(Washington Examiner) Photoshop Photoshop this newly created larger-than-life sculpture  (washingtonexaminer.com) (31)
(Some Ice cold golfer) Amusing The most undignified pose from a small town mayor you will see today  (nnsl.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Interesting Amateur codebreaker finally cracks the Zodiac killer's unsolved letter, finds the name of the killer  (belmont-ca.patch.com) (495)
(New York Daily News) Fail There was a young lad from Virginia / Who was playing around like a ninja / He found a big bamboo spike / That was very sword-like / But he didn't know that it could pin ya  (nydailynews.com) (98)
(Telegraph) Scary Pump up the crazy: North Korea, Iran jointly working on long-range nuclear missile  (telegraph.co.uk) (223)
(Some Guy) Obvious Garden slugs have no taste at all  (bangordailynews.com) (53)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Today's lesbian teacher/student tryst brought to you by...you are already fapping, aren't you  (dailymail.co.uk) (136)

Thu July 21, 2011
(WSAZ) Asinine Coppers cop to kleptos co-opting copper in their car, per conned customers. Cu later  (wsaz.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this wash up in Waco  (bigpicture.ru) (49)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow MEOWMEOWMEOWMEOWMEOW LET'S DO METH  (orlandosentinel.com) (79)
(My Fox DC) Sad Electrocuted squirrel sparks fire with nutty aroma  (myfoxdc.com) (21)
(DFW Star-Telegram) Strange It's so hot in Texas right now that swimming pools are being stolen right out of backyards  (star-telegram.com) (71)
(KPLU.org) Cool Watch out Mr. Hare, this tortoise has wheels  (kplu.org) (21)
(Great Falls Tribune) Misc Man accidentally runs out of gas, rolls to a stop on empty stretch of highway. In a Cessna 182  (greatfallstribune.com) (97)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Take your service dog in a McDonalds? That's a punchin'  (huffingtonpost.com) (270)
(NJ.com) Obvious Woman fatally shot in New Jersey identified as Orange resident. Redundant?  (nj.com) (29)
(Billings Gazette) Dumbass If you're trying to sell your kid's ADHD medication on the street for ten bucks a pill, expect a hyperactive degree of attention from the local police force when you're caught  (billingsgazette.com) (64)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool Chicago hotel turns up the heat on annoying picketers. Literally  (chicagotribune.com) (194)
(Adult Swim) Amusing Move over CSI: NY, L&O:SVU, 24, NCIS...here comes NTSF:SD:SUV::. (Sponsored link)  (ad.doubleclick.net) (187)
(Some Guy) Scary Have you ever been so mad at your mom that you crashed your plane into her house?  (kcra.com) (74)
(SeattlePI) Obvious Italian austerity program, devised to stave off financial crisis by making tough cuts to wages, pensions and benefits, does not cut anything for the people who devised the program  (seattlepi.com) (93)
(NPR) Strange Have you driven a Ford secretly packed with marijuana by Mexican drug cartels... lately?  (npr.org) (66)
(UPI) Spiffy Authorities track down and rescue bear that had plastic jar stuck on head for at least three weeks, say it was clearly no pic-a-nic  (upi.com) (36)
(ktvb.com) Weird City hires 600 goats, I kid you not  (ktvb.com) (58)
(Japan Probe) Scary Less-than-perfect court translations can lead to 2-3 year differences in sentences and perp alimony dishwater  (japanprobe.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Wisdom says don't get drunk at your wedding so you can remember the night. Of course, if there's a police report, one that includes "The groom passed out in his cell and soiled himself," that'll jog the memory too  (clevescene.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Sad How you know today is not your day: Call cops about house robbery, cops arrest you instead of buglar, then you get charged and convicted of resisting arrest  (lufkindailynews.com) (283)
(Arizona Star) Sad You might want to find a new career if you're training to be a zookeeper and accidentally kill a giraffe on one of your first days  (azstarnet.com) (85)
(Des Moines Register) Fail People in Cedar Rapids, Iowa shocked to learn their cars were stolen simply because they left their car keys inside their unlocked cars  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (126)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop these plaid pants  (inapcache.boston.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Unlikely According to DHS, the most likely terrorist are white, middle class Americans. So, beware of your accountant, barrista, or that one strange realtor who is always looking at houses in your neighborhood  (infowars.com) (209)
(Some Guy) Amusing Foam darts=deadly weapon? In other news; 19 year old still plays with nerf toys  (patriotledger.com) (144)
(Life.com) Interesting Hitler's nutjob deputy Rudolf Hess sleeps with the fishes. Well, his ashes do, after he's discreetly exhumed, quickly cremated, and tossed in an unnamed Bavarian lake  (life.com) (117)
(Some Guy) Scary Man run over by 32,000-lb. tractor-pull sled, is expected to be released from the hospital on Sunday Sunday SUNDAY  (kcra.com) (40)
(Albany Times Union) Amusing Sheriff's department not amused to find jailhouse video posted of chase of wayward inmate, sped up and set to "Yakety Sax" (w/video)  (timesunion.com) (121)
(National Post) Stupid Piers Morgan accused of phone hacking for having his phone hacked  (news.nationalpost.com) (52)
(Wall Street Journal) Sad Cool: You find $70 million worth of rare coins in your family's safe deposit box. Not Cool: The government takes them back because your grandpa stole them from the US Mint in 1933  (blogs.wsj.com) (284)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida You don't have a very good guard dog if he can be bribed with rotisserie chicken  (orlandosentinel.com) (65)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Texas Governor Rick Perry banned all sex ed from schools except abstinence-only education, which uses "fear and Jesus". Care to guess what happened to teen pregnancy rates in Texas?  (huffingtonpost.com) (421)
(NPR) Amusing "I know this isn't technically a sandwich, but I'll justify it by saying this dish is basically chicken sandwiched between two layers of hate"  (npr.org) (172)
(Some Guy) Strange Woman who crashed and flipped her motorized wheelchair in a mobile home park busted for DUI. Surprisingly, this did not happen in Florida  (cumberlink.com) (53)
(The Times of India) Sick Kidnap and marry a minor? That's a stabbing. Just kidding. Punishment for that is being forced to walk through town nude with a brick tied to your penis  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (126)
(Huffington Post) Fail Man tries to trim grass, ends up pushing daisies  (huffingtonpost.com) (42)
(wtsp.com) Florida Robbers broke in to a veterinary hospital at night, caught on surveillance cam. Which one of these items was stolen? a) drugs b) exotic pets or c) a banjo? Hint: Florida  (saintpetersburg.wtsp.com) (45)
(Some flipped off pedestrian) Amusing "The City of Amarillo says it's a manufacturing problem that causes a glitch and produces offensive hand gestures"  (wtsp.com) (38)
(Independent) Obvious "The bumbling, pathetic, forgetful fool who sat there unable to answer any questions about his own company in yesterday's hearing, is the bloke all our governments have been grovelling to for the last 30 years"  (independent.co.uk) (122)
(Daily Mail) Followup 16 year old girl who married 51 year old man says he's "a tiger" in bed. Entire world thinks she's lion  (dailymail.co.uk) (434)
(TC Palm) Florida Police say beef in Tennessee man's pants valued at $8.54. Man's wife begs to differ  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (27)
(Patriot Ledger) PSA You have the right to remain silent, or you can confess to me off the record  (patriotledger.com) (87)
(Some Guy) Unlikely "I have successfully built a working time machine and need a human test subject that is willing to be the first person to ever travel back in time." No word on if you have to bring your own weapons  (raleigh.craigslist.org) (346)
(Derpy Dee dee dee) Stupid Check your facebook Someone from the Onion wrote "gullible" on your wall  (literallyunbelievable.org) (77)
(TC Palm) Florida Dear Florida paper: "In God we trust" makes this a Christian country. And don't get me started on them mooslems and sharia law  (tcpalm.com) (283)
(CBS 4 Denver) Followup No feelony for the TSA titty twister  (denver.cbslocal.com) (46)
(Reuters) Followup France retreats on saying Gaddafi could retreat to France  (reuters.com) (37)
(My San Antonio) Dumbass I didn't know there was a hacksaw in yesterday's cold-ass taco, I just wanted some Xanax  (mysanantonio.com) (17)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Florida man accused of trying to screw people at the bus stop  (orlandosentinel.com) (14)
(The Cambridge Chronicle) Interesting Judge cuts attorneys' fees from $500,000 to $30,000 because 95% of their time was spent turning minor case with settlement offer into media spectacle  (wickedlocal.com) (101)
(Yahoo) Amusing The working definition of having too damn much money: having a construction crew write your name in the sand of your private island large enough that it can be seen from space  (news.yahoo.com) (161)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Rejected action figures  (images.google.com) (36)
(The Times of India) Interesting After numerous challenges to its accuracy, Nepal planning to remeasure the world's tallest mountain. Climbers wonder if this dispute about height will ever rest  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (62)
(TBO) Florida Hacker breaks into email accounts of girls who attended his high school, captures their risqué photos to boyfriends, then posts them as their Facebook profile pictures. Looks like he's going to miss the 10-year reunion  (www2.tbo.com) (151)
(Some Guy) Amusing "As compensation for his claim of false arrest, Pinney says he won't accept just any existing country. He wants the U.S. to grant him uninhabited land to start a new one"  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Sad Fallen 9/11 NYC Fire Truck returns to Ground Zero after almost ten years and is lowered into its new memorial home  (dailymail.co.uk) (131)
(Google) Amusing Russia's prison service launches inquiry after photos emerge of toga-clad prisoners holding lavish party. As a result, the food-fight scheduled for Friday has been cancelled and all have been put on double-secret probation  (google.com) (23)
(News.com.au) Sick I'm on a $4.5 billion gold-plated boat, EVERYBODY LOOK AT ME  (news.com.au) (312)
(ABC Action News) Florida Drunk with an indefinitely suspended driver's license? Makes perfectly good sense then to let your girlfriend's 11-year-old daughter drive the SUV with your 7-year-old daughter in backseat  (abcactionnews.com) (15)
(SFGate) Amusing With dwindling numbers, what better way to recruit kids than with an animated cartoon, right Al-Qaeda?  (sfgate.com) (43)
(KTLA) Scary The good news: That noise you heard is not a creepy clown under your bed. The bad news: YOU HAVE A 40-FOOT SINKHOLE UNDER YOUR BED  (ktla.com) (52)
(The Consumerist) Hero From the "Dusty as HELL in Here" Department: Applebee's comps dinner for a young man dying of terminal brain cancer and his wife as they celebrate 500 days post-diagnosis  (consumerist.com) (117)
(Google) Asinine Alabama residents are still paying a tax to support the Alabama Confederate Soldiers' Home...which closed 72 years ago  (google.com) (58)
(Gawker) Amusing The douchiest colleges in America  (gawker.com) (180)
(Science Daily) Obvious I am SHOCKED to learn that 50% of college kids have participated in sexting, and 80% have received suggestive messages  (sciencedaily.com) (80)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 324: "Stairway to Heaven". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (161)

Wed July 20, 2011
(Jalopnik) Strange WWI-era warplane has been idling on a tiny rooftop runway in Lower Manhattan waiting to attack New Jersey since 1970  (jalopnik.com) (94)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Great moments in computing history  (fark.com) (27)
(Fox News) Spiffy TSA to put an end to meat gazing  (foxnews.com) (62)
(Live Science) Interesting Six health benefits of smoking. "Looking way cooler than everyone else" conspicuously absent from the list  (livescience.com) (117)
(BBC) Interesting Philippine politicians sing their national anthem on Pagasa Island, part of a chain of islands rich in oil and gas and claimed by China, Taiwan and Vietnam. This should end well  (bbc.co.uk) (23)
(NJ.com) Dumbass Smile, and the world smiles with you.* (*Note: Does not apply to convicted murderers at sentencing hearings)  (nj.com) (69)
(Some Guy) Strange We're getting reports of a major mudslide disaster...Let me repeat. An old man had an ATV accident in a field  (939mia.com) (18)
(CNN) Sick They need to do way instain pakkistani who kill thier babbys. becuse these babby cant frigth back?  (cnn.com) (237)
(CNN) Obvious Michael Vick backs dog fighting bill. And just so we're clear, he opposes it. The dog fighting, I mean, not the bill. That would be a self-negating headline  (cnn.com) (81)
(NPR) Scary That locksmith you called is either a legitimate locksmith or a con-man who's going to break into your house and steal you blind. Either one, you choose  (npr.org) (82)
(Some Guy) Followup Transwoman Avery wins "The Breast Summer Ever" contest, and will be visited by the Boob Fairy. Thanks to all the Farkers who helped to vote her up  (ampradiocalgary.com) (671)
(Canoe) Scary Woman doesn't understand that pepper spray isn't legal tender, pays bus driver with it anyway  (cnews.canoe.ca) (31)
(Some Anorexic Kid) Asinine Which one is it? Are we in an obesity crisis or a malnutrition crisis?  (apa.org) (172)
(The Times of India) Scary Mill worker survives knife attack. Back to the grind  (timesofindia.indiatimes.com) (16)
(Washington Post) Cool "... So Take Off All Your Clothes" DC forecast for Friday  (washingtonpost.com) (141)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this meditation on the rocks  (20jazzfunkgreats.co.uk) (48)
(Washington Post) Scary 5 Bible camp attendees smote  (washingtonpost.com) (284)
(MSNBC) Obvious Today's playgrounds may be too safe, according to reporter hoping to interview more wheelchair bound kids  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (128)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida You're pulling me over for not wearing my seatbelt? Are you kidding? Here, let me show you where the drugs and 28 syringes are hiding  (nwfdailynews.com) (44)
(azfamily.com) Fail College kid in serious condition after participating in parkour on the fourth floor of his apartment  (azfamily.com) (143)
(Wall Street Journal) Stupid Just like most Americans, I am concerned about my privacy after I install $300,000 worth of floor-to-ceiling windows in my 13,000-square-foot, $5 million home  (online.wsj.com) (202)
(ARLNow) Amusing Ever look at your front lawn and go "All this is missing is an 18 foot topless mermaid carved out of a dying tree"? Me neither, but now you can buy one for a cool 3,000 dollars. Assuming you cut it down and drive it away yourself  (arlnow.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Misc Police officer gets in trouble for sending sexts and nudes to confidential informant. What...does cash not work anymore?  (paysonroundup.com) (21)
(Daily Mail) Scary Why do these paranoid conspiracy theorists always think someone is out to get them?  (dailymail.co.uk) (93)
(KTLA) Spiffy Man turns lawn chairs into free wheelchairs for the needy -- because that's just the way he rolls  (ktla.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Unlikely 42 years ago today, man took his first steps on a sound stage in the middle of the desert  (www2.timesdispatch.com) (80)
(AP) Amusing 2 Georgia Men were so high on meth they called 911 on themselves  (hosted.ap.org) (50)
(Yahoo) Interesting Former News of The World reporter says editors deliberately inserted bogus details to sensationalize stories. Or that may be a bogus detail inserted to sensationalize the story  (news.yahoo.com) (62)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Blow the whistle on state foreclosure fraud? You better believe that's a firin'. "Obviously we did our job too well"  (orlandosentinel.com) (121)
(970 WFLA) Florida The Internet is not for selling your monkey  (970wfla.com) (66)
(Some Absorbent Guy) Dumbass Leaving skid marks, Texas truck driver wipes out and dumps load of toilet paper. Great Scott  (missoulian.com) (44)
(Google) Interesting Google's logo today sure is full of green peaness  (google.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Fail "Honey, before we get married, I want you to conquer your fear of heights by bungee jumping"  (940winz.com) (76)
(CNN) Strange Reports arise of hacking and other unsavory behavior at News Corp.'s in-house ad agency, where a scene showing Al Capone beating a man to death with a baseball bat was shown to employees as a motivational video  (cnn.com) (53)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Jesus Christ, it's a leopard, get on the roof  (dailymail.co.uk) (54)
(SFGate) Fail Up to 60,000 Calif. disabled parking placards sent to dead people. Those lucky stiffs get all the breaks  (sfgate.com) (55)
(BBC) Stupid You think it's hard to quit Scientology? Try leaving Islam to join the "Teapot Cult" in Malaysia  (bbc.co.uk) (162)
(SFGate) Fail Protesters march against police brutality. This being San Francisco, the march also included vandalizing public transit and a Bank of America branch, throwing hammers at cops, and trying to steal TV news cameras. Still no cure for stupidity  (sfgate.com) (166)
(Some Guy) Dumbass If the TV news crew is doing a live report on crimes you committed, going on camera as a witness isn't a very smart move  (wsbtv.com) (11)
(KTLA) Asinine New ordinance changes definition of 'dangerous' dog to include those that chase people. Next up: dogs that chase their tails are danger to themselves  (ktla.com) (113)
(CBC) Hero Twenty years ago, Gwen Jacobs started the court battle that resulted in Canadian women having the right to bare breasts in public. Never has the Hero tag been more appropriate  (cbc.ca) (223)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida "Witnesses reported seeing Alfieri wandering around the woods wearing nothing but a gun holster while carrying a pistol and yelling at the river"  (nwfdailynews.com) (26)
(Huffington Post) Amusing 17 shirts that don't make sense on dogs. This is assuming that any shirt makes sense on a dog, of course  (huffingtonpost.com) (26)
(UPI) Obvious Canada to strip 1,800 of citizenship in Operation: No Big Loss  (upi.com) (61)
(BBC) Amusing Fifty Americanisms that wind up British people. Any excuse to say "fanny pack"  (bbc.co.uk) (692)
(Mother Nature Network) Interesting 10 tips camp counselors want you to know. Unfortunately this is worthless because it does not address homicidal maniacs in hockey masks or how to put a sleeping counselor and his bed on a raft in the middle of a lake without him waking up  (mnn.com) (63)
(BBC) Interesting The governmynntf o Wales isn'tt takynngh fraedym o ynformation requaests seriuoslly  (bbc.co.uk) (24)
(Google) Interesting Syrian FM warns U.S. and French ambassadors not to travel on the road from Damascus, there's no telling what they might see  (google.com) (44)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Luckily for this horse stuck in a swimming pool, "As part of the class, members had the opportunity to hoist and 'rescue' a llama, two horses, and a rhinoceros,"  (orlandosentinel.com) (17)
(Some Baby Bankrobber) Florida Today's 'bring your baby to a bank robbery' brought to you by New Port Richey  (newportrichey.wtsp.com) (26)
(Some Shoe Cam Expert) Florida Not news: Man caught using shoe-cam to take pictures up women's skirts. Fark: Best evidence pics of home made sneaker cam you will see all day  (saintpetersburg.wtsp.com) (74)
(Stylist) Amusing Dalai Lama does guest stint on MasterChef - just don't expect him to judge  (stylist.co.uk) (20)
(Wired) Hero NASA had the Moon Landing guys practice every second of their mission, down to how to plant the flag in the lunar soil. Here's a slideshow-free photoessay of what they went through. No snark, just Happy Anniversary, you boldly goers  (wired.com) (133)
(Some Guy) Scary "Slow ahead." I can go slow ahead. Come on down here and chum some of this shiat." You know what happens next  (capetimes.co.za) (55)
(Stylist) Amusing 10 facts behind the slap - what you didn't know about Rupert Murdoch's fast-fisted wife  (stylist.co.uk) (111)
(STV.tv) Fail Google Street View cameras snap secret nuke installation, and the armed cops coming to interrogate them  (news.stv.tv) (30)
(News.com.au) Scary Driver ends up almost four times over the legal blood alcohol limit. Astonishingly, he's a bit punchy  (news.com.au) (13)
(Local10) Florida Guess who made $63 million last year selling information from every licensed driver "in the name of public safety." Go ahead, guess  (local10.com) (54)
(The Consumerist) Spiffy Incredibly rare yellow lobster surfaces at Wegmans. Ask for market price  (consumerist.com) (52)
(Some Dollar stapler) Florida Regardless of the dirty sayings on them, Bradenton bar gives all of the dollar bills stapled to its walls to charity  (bradenton.wtsp.com) (18)
(Some Carjacker) Stupid Protip: If you're planning a career as a carjacker, you should likely learn how to drive a stick shift  (wtsp.com) (61)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida Couple caught hiding steaks in the furniture section of a Walmart, probably looking for couch potatoes  (nwfdailynews.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Stupid Mother and daughter get DUIs an hour apart. With would not want mugshots  (wtsp.com) (28)
(AZCentral) Hero The U.S. air-traffic control celebrates 75 years of strikes, panic, near-misses, stress, over-caffienation, intoxicated, drowsy, sleepy, asleep service  (azcentral.com) (26)
(The Daily Show) Amusing Jon Stewart wants to know why Mrs. Weasley is being hounded by Parliament  (thedailyshow.com) (56)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Awkward family vacation photos  (dailymail.co.uk) (62)
(Telegraph) Followup Taliban: "Hey everybody - Our...our mobile phones got hacked, too." World: "And your point is?"  (telegraph.co.uk) (24)
(The Onion) Cool China Agrees To Erase Portion Of U.S. Debt If Americans Dress Up In Costumes And Perform Silly Dance For Them  (theonion.com) (58)
(Some lawyer) Florida Casey Anthony wants to become a lawyer, which would likely be out of the realm of possibility anywhere else but Florida  (wtsp.com) (62)
(MSNBC) Hero Negro League baseball players are being hunted, tracked, rounded up, and given tombstones where previously there were only unmarked graves  (msnbc.msn.com) (28)
(KTLA) Weird Truck crash creates a 100 foot fire hydrant geyser shooting 400 feet of water tens of feet in the air. Wait, what?  (ktla.com) (28)
(Springfield Republican) Interesting Jury acquits antigovernment activists of filming law enforcement officials  (masslive.com) (82)
(Washington Post) Interesting Dora becomes the fourth named hurricane of this summer. Swiper no looting Swiper no looting  (washingtonpost.com) (44)
(The Superficial) Photoshop Photoshop a new Casey Anthony disguise for her safe July 17th release (LGI)  (thesuperficial.com) (32)
(WUSA9) Asinine Defense Dept frittered away $300 million on two ships that were never used -- they're now going to scrap heap. And taxpayers didn't even get a lousy t-shirt  (wusa9.com) (253)
(TBO) Florida Ugly ass baby rhino born at the Lowry Park Zoo in Tampa  (www2.tbo.com) (17)
(CBS News) Interesting Quake may have revealed Israeli spy ring. Wolfenstein, Doom wanted for questioning  (cbsnews.com) (81)
(Mother Nature Network) Sad Step inside this 150-square foot, $500/month rental apartment. Shared by a family of four. Watch your head  (mnn.com) (90)
(Boston Globe) Photoshop Photoshop these lads leering at a lady  (inapcache.boston.com) (29)
(Statesman) PSA If you stole a camera containing highly radioactive material, the police would like you to return it before you grow a third arm on your back  (statesman.com) (45)
(WLSAM) Obvious Husbands are happier when their wives are thinner and give them more sex  (wlsam.com) (264)

Tue July 19, 2011
(SeattlePI) Cool Cheesy Poofs Coming To Walmart. No word on Snacky Cakes, yet  (blog.seattlepi.com) (107)
(News.com.au) Obvious Python sex romp prompts search for massive snake. We don't have an Innuendo tag yet, so here's the Obvious tag  (news.com.au) (47)
(Talking Points Memo) Scary Glorious nation of Kazakhstan unleashes Best Earthquake Generator Device upon its arch-nemesis and worst country ever Uzbekistan  (talkingpointsmemo.com) (51)
(News.com.au) Scary Rogue soldiers try to wop Guinea president with rocket. Could this dago more horribly?  (news.com.au) (127)
(LA Times) Sad Woman tries to feed the birds, ends up feeding the worms. Which, indirectly, feeds the birds. Success  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (60)
(BBC) Scary Badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger badger tuberculosis tuberculosis  (bbc.co.uk) (47)
(Seattle Times) Sad Sick of the heat? Come to Seattle where we haven't had a summer in two years  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (228)
(Quad City Times) Dumbass Usually, identity theft doesn't involve a man dressing up like a woman, affecting her mannerisms, and living just like her. Usually  (qctimes.com) (32)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Introducing the newest word to make you all stabby: 'aquaholic' - someone who is addicted to aquahol  (dailymail.co.uk) (110)
(Sauk Valley Gazette) Strange Forty-four year old man goes missing. He was last seen detassling corn. No word on why an adult would be doing a job reserved for the untrained pre-teen worker class  (saukvalley.com) (88)
(Tulsa World) Followup "If I can't be a District Judge and use my penis pump at the same time, I'll just drive around and get wasted"  (tulsaworld.com) (57)
(SFGate) Ironic Lesbian couple told to stop holding hands at a gallery featuring a lesbian artist. You could cut the tension with a scissor, er... knife  (sfgate.com) (156)
(Some Golden Curtain) Photoshop Photoshop this piggyback pair  (my-expressions.com) (30)
(Fox News) Followup Japan is no longer totally Fukushima'd  (foxnews.com) (88)
(Some Guy) Weird Concrete could explode due to oppressive heatwave sweeping the Midwest. Yes, really  (big1059.com) (187)
(The Smoking Gun) Hero Meet one guy who thinks Rupert Murdoch doesn't have enough pie on his face already  (thesmokinggun.com) (270)
(MLive.com) Followup I know you're going to be absolutely stunned by this news, but mortgage companies are still fraudulently robo-signing thousands of foreclosure documents  (mlive.com) (105)
(Chicago Tribune) Obvious A new study shows, of everywhere like such as, US students did worst of all when it comes to geography  (chicagotribune.com) (189)
(Guardian.com) Dumbass Man, I'm so distressed about my wife being arrested in this phone hacking thing that I think I'll accidentally put her laptop and phone in a trashbag and dump it in a public bin  (guardian.co.uk) (55)
(FARK) FarkBlog Chinese toddler opens his eyes...a little, close shave rubs out Brazilians, and Sherwood Schwartz's coconut coffin: Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week 7/10 - 7/16  (fark.com) (32)
(Pat's Papers) Interesting Alaska cops add new question to sobriety test: how much yeast does it take to make bread?  (patspapers.com) (180)
(The Daily Caller) Interesting Congressman's Twitter page is hacked. No really, he was hacked, this time it's true  (dailycaller.com) (54)
(Some East Texas Redneck) Dumbass Protip: If you are already in trouble for letting a 3 year old find your loaded 9 you should probably hide your meth and hypodermic needles when you show the police where you put the gun. Bonus: WTF mug shots  (yourhoustonnews.com) (83)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Police arrest new bride after wedding ceremony ends. From the look of things, they should have intervened sooner for her husband's sake  (dailymail.co.uk) (41)
(Some Guy) Sad A mom loses control of her 4 year old son who runs into street and is killed by a drunk driver. Who is convicted of manslaughter?  (t4america.org) (384)
(LA Times) Scary Hey baby, I'm a reporter for the L.A. Times. Interested in having an article written about you in exchange for awkward sex?  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (125)
(Boing Boing) Followup I swear to God, if I see one more over-hyped non-news event tagged with the "-ageddon" suffix, someone is gonna get punched  (boingboing.net) (141)
(Some Guy) Fail 1: Blog about your special-needs daughter. 2: Hold raffle (w/$5 processing fee) to give away iPads. 3: Profit to the tune of $30,000. 4: Oh wait, people actually want the iPads?  (lovethatmax.com) (136)
(CNN) Sick Okay, so a Rabbi, his wife, and an Israeli walk into a bar...no no wait...Well, I forget the rest, but the punchline is they threaten to bury the Israeli alive if he doesn't divorce his wife. Haha...ha...ha  (cnn.com) (252)
(My Fox DC) Strange Crocs - not for kicking mountain lions in the face  (myfoxdc.com) (86)
(National Post) Interesting Psychiatrist says Canada's ADHD tax credit program being abused and are there any tax credits for bikes?  (news.nationalpost.com) (61)
(Huffington Post) Amusing "Last January, I stopped wearing a bra. I haven't put one back on since"  (huffingtonpost.com) (5070)
(My Fox DC) Strange By the third trimester, the baby's heart begins to form, you'll experience swelling of the ankles, and you should be able to use your unborn child to get out of traffic tickets  (myfoxdc.com) (24)
(Wall Street Journal) Interesting Due to skyrocking prices, Chinese play politics with commodities prices by unleashing Strategic Pork Reserve. Wait, What?  (online.wsj.com) (42)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Toddler drowns in Florida pool. Stay tuned as the media cover the pool's arraignment, trial, and subsequent acquittal  (orlandosentinel.com) (44)
(Some Guy) Interesting Murdoch meets UK lawmakers, expects the senator from Naboo to move for a vote of no-confidence and make him Archchancellor. "All is going as I have foretold"  (cfnews13.com) (98)
(Scientific American) Obvious Because someone threw the clock out the window, duh  (scientificamerican.com) (54)
(Life.com) Hero 70 years ago today, as England stood alone against Nazi Germany, Winston Churchill launched his now-legendary "V for Victory" crusade, shortly after abandoning his poorly received "P for Panic" campaign  (life.com) (115)
(The Smoking Gun) Strange The suspect is pantless. I repeat, the suspect is pantless  (thesmokinggun.com) (25)
(Bitten and Bound) Fail An inebriated Denver air traffic controller failed an on the job drug test but hopes to ace rehab. (vid)  (bittenandbound.com) (22)
(Telegraph) Fail Mailman, often too drunk to push the envelope - or anything else - stashes 31,000 pieces of mail at his home  (telegraph.co.uk) (32)
(The Consumerist) Silly If you enjoy the comfort of hotels but worry about bedbug infestations, worry not, you can now buy bedbug insurance  (consumerist.com) (10)
(Gawker) Sick Yard sale is open to anyone, as long as they're not gay, Islamic or an illegal immigrant  (gawker.com) (333)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Invasive fish that can survive on land and breathe air found in Maryland river. Should only be a problem until locals find it tastes good with a cold Natty Boh and sprinkled with Old Bay and fish it into extinction  (myfoxdc.com) (88)
(News.com.au) Unlikely Strauss Kahn: "I didn't rape that maid, but I did nail her mom"  (news.com.au) (37)
(Morning Sentinal.com) Obvious Crying naked woman pulled from sewer pipe may have been on drugs  (onlinesentinel.com) (35)
(MSNBC) Interesting Best secret beaches in North America. Err-- best beach...es, you know what? Forget I said anything  (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com) (53)
(Denver Channel) Strange Basement horse is watching you masturbate  (thedenverchannel.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Weird We interrupt this regularly scheduled news report to bring you a picture of Sienna Miller  (galvestondailynews.com) (17)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Scary Hey, jerk. Your underrage gay prostitute did not quote you a price for binding, gagging and setting him on fire  (cbsatlanta.com) (33)
(LA Times) Cool Neil Patrick Hairless saves the day  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (24)
(Daily Mail) Followup Ja Rule to spend more time in ja il  (dailymail.co.uk) (49)
(Some Guy) Fail "83% of African American students in Texas have been expelled at least once by the time they graduate"  (mega949.com) (213)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Man who was suing his son over Cubs tickets drops his lawsuit after realizing he was suing someone over Cubs tickets  (chicagotribune.com) (14)
(GIS) Photoshop North Korea wants to co-host the Olympics. Photoshop some sports they can host  (google.ca) (32)
(io9) Weird While taking in all the wondrous art in Rome, don't miss out on the Superman/Batman foreplay sculpture  (io9.com) (12)
(The New York Times) Cool Google's first science fair was won by...ack...girls. Girls can't science. Everybody knows that  (nytimes.com) (108)
(ABC News) Strange 21 tons of ketchup and mustard stolen in Austria. Police fear the crooks are seasoned veterans  (abcnews.go.com) (34)
(Short List) Stupid Sky blames Louise Boat for hacking The Sun's website. It makes sense when you look at LulzSec's Twitter feed. Okay, maybe not complete sense  (shortlist.com) (24)
(AL.com) Scary Police in Huntsville, Alabama conduct a prostitution sting, arrest nine prostitutes and post their pictures. When asked for comment about the women, the police chief responded with "Oh, the humanity"  (blog.al.com) (97)
(PhysOrg.com) Stupid Inferior tablets causing a market shift away from more powerful and useful laptops  (physorg.com) (237)
(C-SPAN) Interesting Watch Murdoch, Murdoch and Brooks squirm live before Parliament, C-Span 3 at 9:30 a.m. EDT  (c-span.org) (588)
(babble.com) Followup Casey Anthony's relatives insist they do not know where she is. Will probably report her missing after 31 days  (blogs.babble.com) (221)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass World's dumbest escaped murderer appears on dating reality show  (huffingtonpost.com) (22)
(Buffalo News) Dumbass Amish youth, accused of drinking beer, drives police buggy  (buffalonews.com) (15)
(Some Guy) Sick A Private's privates made public in public drugstore  (jdnews.com) (40)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Dripping air conditioner leads to misplaced anger and an execution-style killing  (suntimes.com) (166)
(KSTU FOX 13) Spiffy Custodial engineer sells his car and uses that money to buy football helmets for the high school team, the very school subby teaches at  (fox13now.com) (109)
(Some Artiste) Amusing How to troll a dating website  (pistonheads.com) (268)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this proud participant  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (42)
(Daily Mail) Weird Woman who has nipple on foot is milking it for all it's worth  (dailymail.co.uk) (60)
(UPI) Cool Man sets new record for largest tonsils, leaving previous record holder frustrated adenoid  (upi.com) (40)
(CNN) Florida To do list for house party: post invites on Facebook, check. Blugeon parents to death with hammer, check  (cnn.com) (104)
(New York Daily News) Silly A gallery of hotties in short shorts...and some who really shouldn't wear short shorts. Kind of a 50/50 thing, here, but it's SFW  (nydailynews.com) (330)

Mon July 18, 2011
(WWLTV) Cool I have no idea what a "Honeybee" is, but I sure do enjoy looking at the pictures of the women trying out to be one. Who should make the team? VE  (wwltv.com) (72)
(Dangerous Minds) Cool LulzSec eclipses The Sun. The Sun isn't there  (dangerousminds.net) (180)
(CBS Miami) Dumbass Good rule of thumb: Don't use a power saw to cut off your son's cast, unless you want police to finger you for abuse  (miami.cbslocal.com) (64)
(UPI) Cool Passenger pigeon - thought to be extinct for almost 100 years - sighted again in New York  (upi.com) (118)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Cars lined up for miles, police asking people to stay home and come back another day. In-N-Out Burger opening? Nope, casino  (chicagotribune.com) (80)
(Some Lactose Tolerant Guy) Cool Family owned dairy helps out nearby competitor whose facility was destroyed by explosion. Milk of Human Kindness being enjoyed by all  (wwltv.com) (56)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Pixar figured out more than 44 international 'redneck' equivalents for dubbing Larry the Cable Guy's voice on Cars  (news.yahoo.com) (165)
(BBC) Obvious Visitor contributions encouraged: Wikipedia, Fark, your mom. Visitor contributions forbidden: 378-year-old paintings in museums  (bbc.co.uk) (62)
(Daily Star) Cool Old and busted: walking on water. New hotness: biking on water. Your move, Jesus  (dailystar.co.uk) (65)
(Some Buckeye News Hawk) Photoshop Photoshop a Fark reboot of a classic television show  (crazyabouttv.com) (90)
(BBC) Obvious Japan set to ban irradiated beef  (bbc.co.uk) (38)
(UPI) Strange It's legal to juggle, tell fortunes and do acrobatics among the trees in Cook County, Ill again  (upi.com) (27)
(The Sun) Weird "Do the Georgians have large talons?" "What?" "Large talons." "I don't understand a word you just said"  (thesun.co.uk) (90)
(Yahoo) Scary 64 warheads hijacked from Romanian train. UN awaits demand for 100 brazillion dollars  (news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Chicago Tribune) Followup Sears apologizes for yanking $69 iPads from site and cancelling everyone's orders. Because an apology always makes it better  (chicagotribune.com) (232)
(Some Guy) Obvious Extreme couponers under fire. Seen taking cover behind massive stack of toothpaste and canned eel  (thestarphoenix.com) (267)
(Salon) Obvious In shocking news, NewsCorp's media outlets are trying to downplay the "hacking" scandal  (salon.com) (218)
(Some Guy) Unlikely For the modest price of $700, you too can become the perfect man  (centralfloridafuture.com) (193)
(My Fox DC) Cool Young Russian women are being urged to shed their clothes as a way of a) doesn't matter b) doesn't matter c) doesn't matter or d) all of the above  (myfoxdc.com) (156)
(KSL.com) Dumbass At what point does standing over an open mineshaft with a gallon of gas and a match sound like a good idea?  (ksl.com) (86)
(The Raw Story) Followup The Fox connection? Former producer claims FoxNews has a "brain room" that enables employees to view private telephone records with ease  (rawstory.com) (233)
(Guardian.com) NewsFlash News of the World phone hacking whistleblower conveniently found dead  (guardian.co.uk) (526)
(Free Press) Spiffy New cruise ship port opens in Detroit to help more people leave  (freep.com) (94)
(Guardian.com) Amusing "Eventually they formed the consensus view that he was a sodmonster"  (guardian.co.uk) (48)
(Fox News) Followup As it turns out, the woman who cut off her estranged husband's penis and put it through the garbage disposal might need psychological evaluation  (foxnews.com) (168)
(Daily Mail) Amusing If subby could orgasm for four months straight, he'd never leave the house again....and probably would be found dead of dehydration  (dailymail.co.uk) (364)
(WSB TV) Dumbass If you're going to write up tickets for several illegally parked vehicles, you should probably wait for the angry mob of drivers to leave before you park in the same exact spot to go grab lunch  (wsbtv.com) (111)
(Telegraph) Spiffy Remember the Penguin's scheme to destroy Gotham City with an army of radio-controlled penguins in Batman Returns? South African scientists took one giant step forward to making it a reality  (telegraph.co.uk) (24)
(CNN) Scary Obama fires up weather control machine, and seeks revenge for World Cup loss  (cnn.com) (36)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida 83-year-old man arrested for punching his wife's elbow. No, that's not a euphemism  (nwfdailynews.com) (24)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this shaded signaller  (online.wsj.com) (25)
(WFTV) Florida 24-year-old man arrested for playing Grand Theft Audubon before it's official release  (wftv.com) (44)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Interesting "Panties Across the Bridge" campaign raises awareness for cervical cancer by stringing panties across the length of a Cincinnati bridge. Unfortunately with it being Cincinnati's population, it only took eight pairs  (cbsatlanta.com) (190)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool The Dali Lama brings his message of peace and love to Chicago. In related news WHOA dude, it's so hot outside the clocks are melting  (suntimes.com) (68)
(Washington Post) Dumbass Yo dawg, I heard your media critic working for the media won't criticise the media for not running stories critical of the media  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida You win this one, ninjas. Looks like I'll have to rest me booty somewhere else. Like the ship's wheel belt buckle? Arr, it's drivin' me nuts  (sun-sentinel.com) (27)
(New York Daily News) Interesting Scientists discover addictive chemical in KFC that makes you crave it fortnightly   (articles.nydailynews.com) (148)
(Des Moines Register) Dumbass Man solves decade-long family feud over parents estate by burning down house in dispute before killing himself. That'll show 'em  (desmoinesregister.com) (131)
(The Local (Sweden)) Spiffy Latest law-enforcement tool in fight against vicious sex crimes: sperm-sniffing police dogs  (thelocal.se) (81)
(The New York Times) Unlikely California actually gets something right. Carmageddon ends almost 18 hours early  (nytimes.com) (129)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop what these artists are painting   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Dumbass The fine line between hero and dumbass: Woman attempts to save children from dog attack but ends up killing husband  (news.ninemsn.com.au) (121)
(CNN) Sick Hacking your neighbor's Wi-Fi and posting child porn from his IP address is no way to go through life, Mr. Boy Kisser  (cnn.com) (290)
(Some Guy) Cool Yet another example of how awesome paramedics can be  (camas.katu.com) (35)
(News.com.au) Scary This kind of childhood trauma may induce irrational hatred of eagles, dude  (news.com.au) (34)
(Canada.com) Weird Dairy Queen's new Chainsaw Blizzard comes to Canada  (canada.com) (40)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Now that Murdoch's phone hacking scandal is over and behind us, London's police commissioner decides to spend more time with his family   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (131)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Man on crutches gets hopping mad, shoots his neighbors  (chicagotribune.com) (20)

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