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Sun August 28, 2011
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Some Guy) Cool I have no idea what you are talking about, so here some pics of a boat balancing on a dock  (witn.com) (44)
(Yahoo) Misc News: America's Top Suburbs for Retirees. Other News: Americans can still afford to Retire  (realestate.yahoo.com) (46)
(Fox News) Asinine First-grader grows hair long to donate to cancer victims. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this  (foxnews.com) (209)
(Naples Daily News) Florida Man arrested for shaving girlfriend as she slept. No, not THERE. Or THERE either  (naplesnews.com) (64)
(MSNBC) Hero Not News: Former school teacher helps school community. News: It was a superintendent that actually gives a crap about students and the school system. Farking Hero: Asked for a $800,000 pay cut to keep programs alive  (msnbc.msn.com) (195)
(Click On Detroit) Amusing Detroit Zoo lions getting $1 million renovation to habitat, which is a big step up from the crack house one was found in  (clickondetroit.com) (42)
(The Local (Sweden)) Stupid Apparently it's not okay for nursing home workers to bet on when a patient is going to die. Oh yeah, putting sunglasses on the corpse is frowned upon too  (thelocal.se) (83)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this guy wetting his whistle   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (38)
(The Raw Story) Fail Remember the Lockerbie bomber who was released in 2009 because he only had months to live? He's still in Libya and the rebels have no intention of handing him over  (rawstory.com) (102)
(PennLive) Scary Harrisburg man killed when Hurricane Irene drops a tree into his bedroom. Sorry, did I say into his bedroom? I meant on his tent. That he was sleeping in. Outside. During a hurricane  (pennlive.com) (170)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Interesting Columnist worries about whether teens should fly solo. As passengers. Wait until she finds out they can fly the damn plane when they hit 16  (startribune.com) (122)
(Forbes) Asinine After winning the war on lemonade, Massachusetts police tackle the evil children selling green tea  (forbes.com) (74)
(Some Guy) Stupid Apparently lack of common sense IS a crime  (philadelphia.cbslocal.com) (93)
(WLSAM) Stupid Not allowed at the Wausau, Wisconsin Labor Day parade: a) illegal aliens b) the press c) President Obama d) Republicans  (wlsam.com) (251)
(The Daily Caller) Dumbass Al Gore: Global warming skeptics are this generation's racists  (dailycaller.com) (386)
(LA Times) Followup Remember those 500+ elderly high-rise residents in New Jersey who refused to evacuate? Yeah, they're fine and ready to get back to their lives after telling Irene to get off their shared lawn  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (86)
(Orange County Register) PSA That yellow sticker on Nancy's car tells you she's not just an oblivious woman driver, she's deliberately trying to piss you off  (ocregister.com) (420)
(LA Times) Silly That's not faith, that's just contradiction  (latimes.com) (154)
(Toronto Sun) Strange Madonna's infamous book Sex tops the list of out-of-print books people want to add to their collection. Sadly, all copies available to purchase are wrinkled and used-up given they haven't been relevant since 1991  (torontosun.com) (86)
(The New York Times) Weird Burning Man, which is held in the middle of the desert and bans the sale of anything but coffee, ice, and tickets to Burning Man itself, has apparently now gone corporate because they ran out of tickets  (nytimes.com) (194)
(Some Guy) Interesting Journalist buys food for a week of meals at the local dollar store. Lives to write about it  (moneyville.ca) (131)
(CNN) Sick I'm probably just swimming upstream with this one, but this smoked salmon recall lox up the award for fishiest recall  (cnn.com) (40)
(Some Guyco) Photoshop Photoshop ads in places they should never be allowed (LGT example)  (imageshack.us) (81)
(Some Guy) Scary Everyone in range of Hurricane Irene please stay safe - Here's your Sunday discussion thread  (weather.com) (865)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Gee, why would other kids and their parents think that kids with food allergies are attention whores? And whaaaat is the deal with airline peanuts? You can't find them anywhere now  (suntimes.com) (396)
(SLTrib) Asinine Poor little snowflakes sue their mother for "emotional distress" caused by horrors such as sending the wrong kind of birthday card and requiring them to adhere to a curfew  (sltrib.com) (127)
(UPI) Obvious Water shortage perplexes Libyan rebels. You know why you don't have any water? BECAUSE YOU LIVE IN A FARKING DESERT. AHH AHHHHHHHH. YOU SEE WHAT THIS IS? IT'S SAND  (upi.com) (100)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Nuke them from orbit. It's the only way to be sure  (chicagotribune.com) (50)
(Guardian.com) Cool *zzzt* 100 YE RS of *crackle* NEON *bzzt*  (guardian.co.uk) (34)
(LA Times) Spiffy Those sure are some juicy round melons you have there  (latimes.com) (61)
(Free Press) Stupid Columnist explains that Martin Luther King's spirit sent the earthquake and now the hurricane (8 fatalities and counting) because MLK is angry about racism and pissed off at MTV, VH1, and BET  (freep.com) (98)
(Watertown Daily Times) Unlikely Inmate charged with sixth-degree conspiracy. Sadly, article fails to explain Kevin Bacon's involvement  (watertowndailytimes.com) (7)
(My Fox NY) Sick Anchor: "How's it going out there, Tucker?" Reporter: "Windy, rainy, and it tastes a bit nutty, Steve"  (myfoxny.com) (62)
(kfor) Amusing Bad: Worst drought in years. Badder: Animals are coming into places they would normally not go. Worst: News reports trying to make a play on words about it  (kfor.com) (15)
(Daily Mail) Interesting British tea company Twinings pulls a "New Coke" on its customers. Picard not amused  (dailymail.co.uk) (107)
(Japan Probe) Sad As you might expect, there are few Kamikaze pilots still living  (japanprobe.com) (78)
(A CUP OF RAGE) Sad Best Buy shows us that in times of need and preparedness, we should be prepared to pay over $40 for a case of water  (thechive.com) (288)
(Seattle Times) Amusing Washington State police not amused when suspicious six-foot foot package on bridge is giant candy bar. Onlookers, however, break into snickers  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (41)
(Quad City Times) Weird "This is the way he wanted to go," son says of his father, who was crushed to death by his tractor after he overturned it in a ditch  (qctimes.com) (23)
(NYPost) Interesting Is your index finger shorter than your ring finger? Enjoy your alcoholism  (nypost.com) (173)
(Some Guys) Photoshop Photoshop these face palms  (festpicture.ru) (33)
(The Smoking Gun) Cool This week's Mugshot Roundup features tears, jeers, and a differently sexualed.....person   (thesmokinggun.com) (65)
(Daily Mail) Cool Sure it's a city of poverty and despair and smells like overripe curry, but you've got to check out Calcutta's space station  (dailymail.co.uk) (26)
(Stuff) Cool Prison finds knitting to be perfect activity for inmates on pins and needles. That's no yarn  (stuff.co.nz) (22)
(Some Guy) Strange After weeks of negotiating, Montreal government decides woman will not have to show her vagina to prove she's really the mother of her baby daughter  (montrealgazette.com) (57)
(Fox News) Dumbass We have reports of a Category 5 topical Derpression issuing from Fox News  (foxnews.com) (434)
(Some Guy) Scary Remember that episode of Star Trek where Riker's clone got left behind after a disaster and nobody bothered to try and rescue him? It's sort of like that  (solitarywatch.com) (78)
(News24) Hero Pop quiz hotshot. Gunman robs store and has one hostage. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO?  (news24.com) (76)
(MSNBC) Fail NYC prepares for Hurricane Irene by bringing out the snowplows  (photoblog.msnbc.msn.com) (65)
(Omaha World Herald) Dumbass If your 12-year old daughter is hospitalized after getting high on shrooms you grew for her, telling a judge you did it so she wouldn't have to get them off the street isn't going to fly in a court of law  (omaha.com) (132)
(CNN) Dumbass Glenn Beck channeling Pat Robertson, Fred Phelps: Hurricane Irene is a 'blessing'  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (231)

Sat August 27, 2011
(Uproxx) Cool The creators of the Three Wolf Moon T-shirt have unveiled a new spin-off clothing line: Big Face Animals. Slideshow Warning, but the awesomeness within renders it moot  (uproxx.com) (165)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this tornado-trashed house  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (33)
(STLToday) Sick 36 year old woman arrested after having sex with a 13 year old boy after someone bragged. Mugshot offers hint as to who didn't brag  (stltoday.com) (139)
(Fox News) Scary Bad: Car wreck injury. Real bad: In surgery for amputation. Farking Bad: Die from smoke inhalation after fire breaks out and being left behind in the Operating Room  (foxnews.com) (70)
(SacBee) Misc Bait car stolen at 11AM by A) 18 year old drug dealer B) 40 year old junkie C) 10 year old little girl....hint: drugs were not involved  (blogs.sacbee.com) (90)
(Yahoo) Obvious Chains like Chili's and Applebee's are being forced to revamp their menu because people are starting to realize their food tastes like crap  (finance.yahoo.com) (444)
(Fox News) Cool The latest Al Qaeda #2 is no more. In related news, all #3's content in their current positions  (foxnews.com) (127)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Just imagine what it would be like to get a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick to the face if his legs were on fire and tasted like cinnamon  (tampabay.com) (56)
(KOB) Obvious It's a pretty hard case for police to investigate, since bees tend to look pretty much alike - difficult to make a positive ID  (kob.com) (52)
(The News & Observer (NC)) Dumbass Woman decides to drive down the beach to see how a pier is holding up in the storm. Darwin comes close but misses. But don't worry - we're just getting started  (newsobserver.com) (75)
(Washington Post) Amusing This looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and HOLY shiat THAT'S A SHARK SWIMMING IN THE STREET  (washingtonpost.com) (104)
(AZCentral) Stupid Pro-tip: When returning to the store for a second shoplifting run, don't stop to fill out a form with your name and address  (azcentral.com) (25)
(JSOnline) Stupid Fark it, there's no winners here. I hate Milwaukee Nazis AND flash mobs  (jsonline.com) (298)
(CBS Detroit) Fail Do you happen to be harboring mosquitoes in that puddle of water outside your home? We're the government and we're going to have to crack down on you, son  (detroit.cbslocal.com) (131)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Hop to it. It's beer festival season  (suntimes.com) (73)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this rocket scientist  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (17)
(LA Times) Scary Girl gets job at yogurt store. That's good. The owner is a little crazy. That's bad. The owner wants to talk about a promotion. That's good. In his soundproof torture box room. That's bad  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (136)
(Some Guy) Interesting Internet free speech limits being tested in the case of man who viciously Tweeted about Buddhists he felt had wronged him. That's bad karma, dude  (bendbulletin.com) (68)
(Bloomberg) Scary Problem: Cost to care for America's fatty fat fat population expected to exceed six months in Afghanistan per year. Solution: Send them all to Afghanistan  (bloomberg.com) (254)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Couples are now spending more time in bed looking at laptop screens than at each other. Although to be fair, that touchpad's probably more responsive than what's a foot away  (dailymail.co.uk) (72)
(BBC) Obvious London's mayor hopes this weekend's Carnival will help 'heal wounds' of the recent riots. Of course, the 5500+ attending 'nurses' from Scotland Yard can't hurt  (bbc.co.uk) (17)
(BBC) Followup Libyan rebel leaders discover that running a country is hard work. Can they just take the money and give the country back?  (bbc.co.uk) (46)
(Straits Times) Followup Mayor Bloomberg of NYC: Please get the hell out because Irene will swallow us. NYC residents: What, you talkin' to me? La La (Fuggeddaboudit) La, I can't hear YOU  (straitstimes.com) (254)
(AZCentral) Amusing Raccoon changes traditional goodbye greeting from ooh-ooh to start 10 acre grass fire. Har har, hardee har harǃ (subby is old, isn't he?)  (azcentral.com) (48)
(Weather Underground) Followup It's your Saturday Hurricane Irene thread  (wunderground.com) (701)
(CBS News) Caturday Vinny, the kitty who was thrown from a car on NYC bridge, yells "Whoopi, I gets a forever home"... just in time for Caturday  (cbsnews.com) (886)
(ib times) Obvious New study says half of all Americans will be obese by 2030. Doctors say 210 will be the new 120  (ibtimes.com) (177)
(Telegraph) Interesting Researchers find elderly women with active sex lives are healthier, happier and cope better with aging -- as if your mom needed a reason  (telegraph.co.uk) (60)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop VP Biden's archery lesson  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (42)

Fri August 26, 2011
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Should it be legal to flash your headlights to warn other drivers about a speed trap? Flash once for yes, twice for no  (orlandosentinel.com) (283)
(Telegraph) Cool Archaeologists find King Arthur's Round Table, proceeding cautiously in case it's booby-trapped to the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch  (telegraph.co.uk) (159)
(FlightAware) PSA Flying somewhere this weekend? You better check the list of cancelations  (flightaware.com) (43)
(MSNBC) Ironic RON PAUL thinks FEMA isn't necessary, says we should be like Galveston was in 1900. Google "1900 Galveston" for the punchline  (firstread.msnbc.msn.com) (690)
(Statesman) Asinine $5 fee ruled to present no greater burden on nude dancing, TotalFark  (statesman.com) (35)
(charlotte observer) Dumbass Charlotte Police warn you to be on the lookout for a smash and grab gumball machine thief. They urge you to report any people spending large quantities of pennies while blowing large bubbles  (charlotteobserver.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Stupid "It's an outrage, a violation of my freedom." a) Captured Libyan freedom fighter? b) Tortured Syrian rebel? c) Homeschooling mom afraid of radio waves from clock radios and hair dryers affecting her kids?  (bclocalnews.com) (165)
(Life.com) Spiffy Taxpayer-funded black light posters? Now that's a stimulus I can get behi ... OMFG WHAT IS THAT?  (life.com) (36)
(Quad City Times) Dumbass Outraged white Iowan people problems  (qctimes.com) (79)
(Reuters) Obvious This just in: Authoritarian governments to not like to sanction authoritarian governments for being authoritarian  (reuters.com) (24)
(CNN) Obvious Headline: Hurricane Irene may cause spike in gas prices. Translation: Hurricane Irene *will* cause spike in gas prices  (money.cnn.com) (47)
(The Tennessean) Asinine The latest thing you're doing to rape the planet: Owning a vintage Gibson guitar. Preaching about the environment while traveling via private jet still A-OK  (tennessean.com) (168)
(Some Guy) Fail The perfect time to shoplift? When the chief of police and McGruff the crime dog are at a store's grand opening  (kxro.wordpress.com) (14)
(Sign On San Diego) Scary Great white shark disappears from San Diego surf. In an unrelated story, unexplained candygrams appear all over the city  (signonsandiego.com) (47)
(MSNBC) Asinine Bernanke says time will do his job for him. That's great. So...why are you here again?  (msnbc.msn.com) (32)
(The Daily Caller) Dumbass When you run out of credible TV guests to talk about hurricane preparedness, there's always Ray Nagin  (thedc.com) (35)
(TechnologyReview) Obvious IBM unveils enormous 120 petabyte drive array, capable of storing 25 billion MP3s, 60 copies of the estimated 150 billion total Web sites in existence, and ALMOST enough space to hold all the videos your Mom starred in over the last 3 months  (technologyreview.com) (110)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this hot dog of an offer  (bigpicture.ru) (57)
(AJC) Scary News: California Zephyr derails in Nebraska after it hits a crane. Fark: it was already eight hours late after hitting an abandoned car near Salt Lake City  (ajc.com) (74)
(Daily Bulletin) Hero Guy jumps in truck to stop coyote from carrying off his Shih Tzu: "My truck is not a four-wheel-drive, but I made it one that morning"  (dailybulletin.com) (80)
(Telegraph) Hero Captain George Hunt sank more enemy ships than any other British submariner of the war. "... he endured what he knew would be a heavy counter-attack; he stopped counting the depth charges after the first 100"  (telegraph.co.uk) (31)
(Some Guy) Interesting Direct flights between Cuba and Puerto Rico resume after almost 50 years. And by "flights", they mean they strap a hot air balloon to a donkey  (moneywatch.bnet.com) (45)
(Happy Place) Amusing "I had 2 boxes of business cards in my desk drawer and he replaced them with cards that have my title changed from graphic designer to horse whisperer. I don't know how many I have given out to people"  (happyplace.com) (133)
(SacBee) Scary Automated massage machines commence their rampaging vengeance. Don't you dare ask for a happy ending  (sacbee.com) (25)
(Telegraph) Silly How to know your gang might not be all that hardcore #47: Stealing watercress because restaurants are using it  (telegraph.co.uk) (22)
(Statesman) Obvious Newspaper alerts online readers of temporary removal of comments in articles. Online readers calmly and rationally discuss inability to get over it  (statesman.com) (22)
(CNN) Survey Residents in SC confused if they should stay or should they go. If they go, there will be trouble and if they stay there will be double. Meanwhile, NY residents think that even tho Irene, Irene so far away, they should get away  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (53)
(Playbill) Followup And Broadway folds like the Democrats during the debt ceiling debate  (playbill.com) (31)
(Reuters) Asinine Irene losses already estimated at $1.8 billion before it even hits the US. Everybody pre-PANIC  (reuters.com) (69)
(Miami Herald) Florida Mexican drug crackdown has led to a balloon effect, which Subby can only surmise involves butt pirates of the Caribbean smuggling drugs where The Sun is not. Florida tag because they are probably involved, too  (miamiherald.com) (23)
(Fox News) Fail Good: North Korea no longer head of rotating nuclear panel. Bad: It's now Cuba  (foxnews.com) (66)
(Government Technology) Unlikely White House launches performance.gov to help citizens track waste. Topping the list: performance.gov  (govtech.com) (64)
(My Fox DC) Dumbass "Please note: the captain has just turned off the NO EROTIC DANCING light. You are now free to writhe around the cabin"  (myfoxdc.com) (76)
(Al Jazeera) Obvious NATO nations set to reap the spoils of the Libyan war. Well, duh  (english.aljazeera.net) (69)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Strange Days after the earthquake, with a major hurricane bearing down in the east coast, many wonder.. hold on, this just in: HOT WHITE WOMAN MISSING  (news.cincinnati.com) (100)
(NPR) Weird How do you stop a charging rhino? Break into a European museum, steal the horns from rhino exhibits and sell them to the Chinese for use as aphrodisiacs  (npr.org) (30)
(Some Guy) Fail Man finds "firework" near the gas tanks and decides to light it. Would not have been subby's first thought. Nor the second  (news25.us) (51)
(Salisbury Post) Scary Middle school assistant football coach goes postal, fights parent, chokes student  (salisburypost.com) (44)
(Herald Tribune) Florida One broken rib and collapsed lung later, slow driver John started to regret preventing the black Infiniti from passing him  (heraldtribune.com) (473)
(Talking Points Memo) Obvious This just in: Chuck Norris knows nothing about international arms treaties   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (84)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida If you're in court facing federal charges and the judge asks you about your line of work, don't say, "Criminal"  (sun-sentinel.com) (28)
(CNN) Interesting The entire steel industry is gay. Aerospace, too, and the railroads. And you know what else? Las Vegas  (cnn.com) (103)
(Gothamist) News Parts of NYC now under mandatory evacuation order, for the first time ever  (gothamist.com) (542)
(STLToday) Fail The guy you just sold heroin to is dying from an overdose. Do you: A) Call 911? B) Rush him to the hospital? C) Shove frozen meat down his pants? "He just needed to sleep it off"  (stltoday.com) (53)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Roger Ebert can't believe people are taking Jim Carrey seriously  (blogs.suntimes.com) (133)
(Above the Law) Silly "While standing barefoot in a pile of broken glass, Mark Davis held an egg in one hand and broke two boards with the fingertips of his other hand." How could you NOT hire him as your lawyer?  (abovethelaw.com) (34)
(El Paso Times) Fail Forget "the dog ate my homework": Student makes up kidnapping story to cover up the fact that she flunked classes and didn't graduate  (elpasotimes.com) (36)
(The Smoking Gun) Florida Johan Santana spends his time not pitching for the Mets worrying that the woman who is suing him for sexual assault wants to try the case in the media  (thesmokinggun.com) (13)
(Houston Chronicle) Scary FOUND: One polite, respectful & well-spoken preschooler with a cursory knowledge of drugs and alcohol. Please contact Houston police if missing  (chron.com) (34)
(CBC) Obvious Headline: "Obama warns Hurricane Irene areas to 'prepare for the worst'" Actual quote: "We all hope for the best but have to prepare for the worst"  (cbc.ca) (98)
(Firedog Lake) Asinine Not news: MN anti-union teabagger congressman Chip Cravaack earned 92K in 2010. News: in disability payments for sleep apnea. Fark: the disability insurance was part of a union benefits package  (firedoglake.com) (224)
(LA Times) Obvious Hurricane Irene is weaker than expected. But there's a hypothetical chance that could reverse according to the media, so please, please, pleeeaaase don't stop being scared and reading the news  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (104)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass Iran reaction to film about lesbians "a little hostile". Wait, they don't like lesbians over there? Who doesn't like to watch lesbians? I just don't understand  (huffingtonpost.com) (141)
(KSTC45) Unlikely Five-foot-long iguana removed from Minnesota park, thus disrupting the natural balance and the circle of life, and allowing the gorillas to rampage unchecked  (kstc45.com) (25)
(CNNGo) Interesting World's 50 most delicious foods. Subby just felt his pancreas explode  (cnngo.com) (297)
(FARK) Spiffy Test your memory skills, or just enjoy the weird alternative answers. It's this week's episode of the Fark Weird News Quiz  (fark.com) (47)
(KVIA.com) Dumbass So much for not leaving evidence behind  (kvia.com) (10)
(Some Katrina Survivor) Interesting How the media scare the shiat out of you every hurricane season  (theageofepic.blogspot.com) (55)
(Today) Asinine Americans to businesses. "Please focus on creating jobs instead of just making the shareholders rich. Businesses: "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh, you're serious. Let me laugh even harder"  (lifeinc.today.com) (330)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Man intentionally parks in handicap spot to highlight lack of parking enforcement, calls 911 on himself a dozen times before cops finally show up. Jailarity ensues  (msnbc.msn.com) (37)
(The Consumerist) Scary Greyhound now offers first class seating  (consumerist.com) (40)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Friday photo fun: Match the arrestee with their J.O.B. Contest ends 6:00pm EST  (thesmokinggun.com) (9)
(AJC) Spiffy The world's oldest person turns 115 today. "She still remembers things and thinks clearly and talks. She has her good days and her bad days. I'd say she sleeps about 80 percent of the time"  (ajc.com) (34)
(AJC) Asinine Minister who served as family spokesman in action against city sues deceased's estate for his tithe - where is your God now?  (ajc.com) (38)
(Canoe) Stupid Goddammitsomuch eh?  (cnews.canoe.ca) (44)
(Irish Times) Interesting Turns out that "My adopted daughter was killed in an airstrike" story may be false. Who knew that Gaddafi was an untrustworthy chap?  (irishtimes.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Scary Pictures of cracks in the Washington Monument. We need to invade some middle eastern country over this outrage. It's the only way to be sure  (federalnewsradio.com) (66)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Gadaffi to the Libyan people: Rise up and "purify" Tripoli of the rebel invasion. Libyan People: Okay, sure thing Muammar, we'll get right on that  (news.yahoo.com) (24)
(Fond du Lac Reporter) Obvious After a month of investigating, the National Transporation Safety board comes out with its preliminary findings: plane crashed because pilot lost control. Well, duh  (fdlreporter.com) (17)
(Free Press) Interesting Some 500 bar owners in Michigan, pissed at a Legislature-imposed smoking ban that's killing their business but exempts the legislators themselves, to ban lawmakers from their establishments. We don't serve your kind here, Senator  (freep.com) (478)
(Short List) Silly Irish zoo puts on birthday party for a chimp that may or may not be played by Andy Serkis  (shortlist.com) (9)
(News 9) Strange Oklahoma shortchange artist "appeared to have all her teeth"  (news9.com) (18)
(MSNBC) Scary And now China's beating us in the fatness, too  (msnbc.msn.com) (70)
(MSNBC) Asinine "Half of hospitals buy back-door drugs, new survey shows". They're called "suppositories", a*sholes  (msnbc.msn.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this architectural gem  (i.imgur.com) (29)
(Cracked) Interesting The most factual article about what its like having a baby around the house that you will ever read  (cracked.com) (176)
(WTOP) Stupid No, Washington DC, you can't change the name of Independence Avenue to MLK Drive. I mean, you already got the guy in carbonite, ain't that enough?  (wtop.com) (66)
(Haaretz) Dumbass Iranian president Ahmadinnerjacket: Iran is determined to eat Israel and wash it down with a good Chianti  (haaretz.com) (106)
(YouTube) Video Amazing footage of Hurricane Irene's massive cloud field captured from the International Space Station, complete with astronaut commentary  (youtube.com) (40)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Sad Most dads leave their sons a note with words of wisdom. This dad left his son two notes: 1) Our home is in foreclosure, and 2) Take your PlayStation and go live with the neighbors  (myfoxtwincities.com) (115)
(Wonkette) Interesting 51% of Americans still remember who was president when the recession started  (wonkette.com) (194)
(The New York Times) Unlikely Could Hurricane Irene wipe New York off the face of the map? Fark Bonus: "Tens of billions worth of damage"   (fivethirtyeight.blogs.nytimes.com) (188)
(KFAB) Fail Telling students to "slap it out," well, that's a firin'  (kfab.com) (30)
(Toledo Blade) Silly It takes balls to steal from a police memorial with officers watching  (toledoblade.com) (23)
(Bloomberg) Followup The U.S. may buy looted Libyan missiles sold in Mali's black market, depending on their return policy and the availability of double skymiles  (bloomberg.com) (34)
(Some Guidos) Obvious In the likely event of Jersey Shore flooding, governor Chris Christie can be used as a flotation device  (courierpostonline.com) (57)
(Florida Today) Florida OH JESUS CHRlST NOT THE BEES  (floridatoday.com) (73)
(CNN) Followup Why does the Bible Belt have highest divorce rate in US? Spouses tend to change after finishing middle school  (cnn.com) (193)
(Fox News) Followup Wal-Mart cancels installation of wine bottle vending machines in Pennsylvania stores since Wal-Mart customers only recognize wine in boxes  (foxnews.com) (109)
(WTOP) Interesting Washington National Cathedral blocked off in case god decides to retroactively protect it  (wtop.com) (17)
(AZCentral) Dumbass New Hampshire teacher terrorizes ex-wife with deer parts. Cops quickly stop sick game plan  (azcentral.com) (14)
(Some Guy) Florida "If you can get the mop to work right, I will cook you a steak dinner" might be a better pickup line if you try it while wearing pants  (gainesville.com) (11)
(kwtv) Followup Teens who attacked subby and his wife admit to doing it "to teach racists a lesson"  (news9.com) (328)
(New York Daily News) Strange Legendary NYC rat, the size of a three foot rabbit, turns out to be real  (nydailynews.com) (64)
(CNNGo) Spiffy E l l l l l l l l l l l l e c c c c c c c c c c c c c c t t t t r i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i c B i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i k e R i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i i d d d d e  (cnngo.com) (31)
(NYPost) Followup The difficulties of casting police lineups: 400-pound robber edition  (nypost.com) (19)
(Daily Mail) Amusing He is shirtless. I repeat, shirtless. Quick, take a picture  (dailymail.co.uk) (30)
(CNN) Scary At least 40 killed and numerous others injured in reported grenade attack at a casino in Monterrey, Mexico  (edition.cnn.com) (116)
(STLToday) Hero After 66 consecutive reunions, the 84th Infantry Division is calling this year the last. Hero tag goes to the ones who have passed, and the ones that remain  (stltoday.com) (66)
(BBC) Sick Austrian man charged with imprisoning and sexually abusing his two daughters in his village home for over 40 years. Sadly, this is not a repeat  (bbc.co.uk) (61)
(Some Guy) Scary You know you are in Texas when you get bitten by a rattlesnake during recess  (myhighplains.com) (40)
(Bloomberg) News No Kan do  (bloomberg.com) (61)
(FarkHound) Dumbass Police arrest Imitation attorney at law Sugar Bear, Esq.  (ktre.com) (25)
(Wikipedia) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Take a famous band and improve them by adding or deleting members  (en.wikipedia.org) (75)
(BBC) Sick British doctors struggle to deal with girls as young as 11 wanting designer vaginas  (bbc.co.uk) (165)
(Some Guy) Asinine Lesbian mom in a LTR leading a Boy Scout troop? Not if Jesus has anything to say about it  (loudountimes.com) (231)
(Guardian.com) Amusing YouTube Stars: The Memes fight back  (guardian.co.uk) (38)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Neanderthal sex 'boosted health of human race' by improving our immune systems against disease, your Mom  (dailymail.co.uk) (86)

Thu August 25, 2011
(Abc.net.au) Fail Ordering new anti-sub torpedoes for your military? Make sure the manual is in English first  (abc.net.au) (79)
(Nola.com) Asinine You are seven years old and riding with your dad in the car. That'll be a tasering  (nola.com) (139)
(SFGate) Scary "Doing laundry may release carcinogens." Great -- another fluff piece  (sfgate.com) (43)
(Houston Chronicle) Dumbass Man sentenced to 99 years in prison for cattle rustling, because hangin's too good fer the varmint  (chron.com) (41)
(KNX 1070) Ironic Hell's Angels sues LA fashion house for creating $90 ironic T-shirt that reads "My Boyfriend's a Hell's Angel"  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (188)
(Some Guy) Fail Shoot me in the head? No, you shoot ME in the head. No, I insist you shoot ME in the head first. Okay, on the count of three  (baldwincountynow.com) (66)
(Yahoo) Scary Syrian political cartoonist needs a hand, unfortunately  (news.yahoo.com) (115)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass The Duggars may no longer be the largest family in America  (dailymail.co.uk) (280)
(USA Today) Sad Turtle that was found near death and then rehabilitated and released to great fanfare is found dead. Awkward  (content.usatoday.com) (55)
(AJC) Interesting Sperm whale washes ashore on Georgia coast, only about five hours from Cumming  (ajc.com) (46)
(Some Happy Couple) Photoshop Photoshop theme: Unexpected guests (LGT an example)  (s-ak.buzzfed.com) (43)
(News Tonight) Unlikely "All of a sudden an air hose being used close to him started blowing air on his legs and then something went up his rectum travelling through the shorts that he was wearing"  (newstonight.net) (108)
(AJC) Interesting University of Georgia professors offer course to illegal immigrants  (ajc.com) (67)
(The Onion) Amusing New Apple CEO Tim Cook: "I'm thinking printers"  (theonion.com) (140)
(CNN) Scary "Irene's flooding could be a hundred-year event." Man, that's a really long flood  (cnn.com) (124)
(NYPost) Obvious What happened to all the food at the supermarket? New York panicked  (nypost.com) (90)
(Some Guy) Followup North Carolina's Outer Banks changes hurricane forecast from 'Meh, it's a tad breezy' to 'GTFO ANGRY ORANGE BLOB ON THE WAY'  (wtkr.com) (104)
(Bloomberg) Spiffy Coddled billionaire makes more in one day than you and your family make during your entire lives. Including your ancestors  (bloomberg.com) (116)
(CBC) Followup "Gadhafi urges followers to 'destroy' rebels". Well NOW you say that  (cbc.ca) (32)
(Some Lawyer) Followup Remember when BART shut down cellphone service to interfere with a protest, but it was okay because it was just repeaters that they owned? About that  (techdirt.com) (73)
(MSNBC) Obvious Seven products Steve Jobs got wrong. Could have just shortened the list and said "everything but the iPod"  (msnbc.msn.com) (283)
(970 WFLA) Florida Casey Anthony reports for probation, promises not to allegedly kill anything  (970wfla.com) (35)
(USA Today) Scary Large white mass might stop MLK, this is not a repeat from 1968  (content.usatoday.com) (38)
(Scientific American) Cool Astronomers discover a 10 year supply of blowjobs 4000 light years away  (scientificamerican.com) (55)
(Mother Nature Network) Cool Take a trip down the Mississippi and you're bound to see riverboats, port towns, and prehistoric pictographs celebrating all kinds of mythical animals that may have once lived in America  (mnn.com) (45)
(Forbes) Spiffy All eyes on Bernanke as Fed Chief Hits Jackson Hole. Well, I'm glad he's getting some, but I had no idea he was an exhibitionist  (forbes.com) (25)
(Ghost of a Flea) Amusing Found passport settles how Qaddafi spells Gadafy. With helpful diagram giving all the varieties of Khadafy's name in condensed form  (ghostofaflea.com) (41)
(Cleveland Plain Dealer) Asinine Remember when the phone company used to charge you for calling long distance? Now they're charging you for not calling long distance  (cleveland.com) (70)
(UPI) Dumbass "Hey, big boy -- is that a snake in your pants or are you .... WHOA, how many have you got in there?"  (upi.com) (13)
(Politico) Asinine Before being outed: I'm Paul Krugman and I wish the earthquake had been deadlier. After being outed: Well, maybe I'm not Paul Krugman but HE'D WISH FOR IT ANYWAY  (politico.com) (163)
(Canoe) Dumbass Inappropriate methods of transporting a full-sized refrigerator home # 168921: "Tethered precariously in the trunk of a Honda Accord"  (cnews.canoe.ca) (41)
(Discover) Cool Ma-ba-SPLOOM   (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (42)
(Some Guy) Sad Knowing that people ignore evacuation orders. Ocean City, MD Mayor cuts off alcohol sales tonight after midnight. Well played sir, well played  (oceancitymd.gov) (78)
(The Smoking Gun) Weird Cops literally had this Colorado perp by the balls  (thesmokinggun.com) (23)
(Some Guy) Amusing If you're looking for the perfect gift for your tea-bagging uncle, I think I've found it  (amazon.com) (81)
(Some naked Aussie) Amusing "Naked Rambler" shows up naked for his trial for being naked  (news.peacefmonline.com) (23)
(SeattlePI) Scary When moving into a new neighborhood, it's considered good manners to introduce yourself to your neighbors. It's not so good to have your pack of feral dogs attack them in their house  (seattlepi.com) (89)
(aei.org) Obvious New study says that if you want the easiest A's around, major in education. Don't worry after you graduate, the gravy train never stops  (aei.org) (213)
(SFGate) Sad Man who fell 2,500 feet to his death at Yosemite's Half Dome identified as 23-yr old Los Gatos man. In Spanish, "Los Gatos" translates as "The Gatos"  (sfgate.com) (186)
(Washington Post) Obvious Vaccines deemed "generally safe". That should put an end to the controversy  (washingtonpost.com) (220)
(NYPost) Unlikely Of all the huge calamities caused by the East Coast earthquake, this has got to be the worst  (nypost.com) (85)
(Yahoo) Followup According to his people, Glenn Beck completely sold out his rally in Israel. According to actual news sources, if that's true then a lot of his supporters went disguised as empty chairs  (news.yahoo.com) (284)
(Reuters) Followup Russian Space Program: No accidents in 1 day(s). Good thing America doesn't rely on them to get into space  (reuters.com) (65)
(Cracked) Interesting Five classic movies that almost had terrible endings  (cracked.com) (237)
(CBS 4 Denver) Asinine Thieves dressed up like clowns rob jewelry store full of fake jewels. Yes, really  (denver.cbslocal.com) (57)
(NASCAR) Obvious Danica Patrick officially announces full time move to NASCAR. Obvious tag beats newsflash to death with a jack handle  (nationwide.nascar.com) (238)
(LA Times) News Rebels claim to have Gaddafi surrounded. Or just one of his sons. And Elvis, Hoffa and Michael Jackson were spotted at a gas station outside Benghazi  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (89)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Man decides the children's drinking fountain at Publix makes a better bathroom than the actual bathroom  (mysuncoast.com) (67)
(Yahoo) Sick It's the "Who needs a cockpunch" list, 9/11 charity edition  (news.yahoo.com) (108)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this finger-pointing farmer  (spiegel.de) (49)
(TC Palm) Florida Today's "image of Jesus appears on something" story brought to you by a dock piling in Jensen Beach, Florida. (with pic of a piece of wood)  (tcpalm.com) (75)
(Bloomberg) Interesting Libyan rebels put a bounty on Qaddafi's head, hope they'll collect it by SUNDAY SUNDAY SUNDAY  (bloomberg.com) (28)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida Clearwater rejects Church of Scientology's offer to forget about $400,000 in code violations in exchange for a free personality exam  (tampabay.com) (90)
(The Daily Caller) Dumbass Do you think Bin Laden was behind 9/11? Alec Baldwin wants to know  (thedc.com) (358)
(Boston Globe) Asinine Reading a book about airplanes on an airplane? That's an interrogation  (boston.com) (146)
(Some Guy) Obvious Concept art for a new Disney attraction shows Disney artists are up to their old tricks (with pic)  (d23.disney.go.com) (73)
(Some Guy) Weird Man's relaxing night at a hotel ruined when he discovers that his car was infested overnight by a naked man who vomited and defecated in it  (wxii12.com) (51)
(Independent) Obvious Rebels find photo album loaded with pictures of Condoleezza Rice in Quadaffi's compound - only a few of which weren't stuck together  (independent.co.uk) (72)
(Huffington Post) Interesting History Channel interrupts 24/7 coverage of World War II to focus on UFOs. Next season's programming: Unveiling how UFOs secretly won World War II  (huffingtonpost.com) (204)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida The first shots are being fired in the War on Christmas 2011  (sun-sentinel.com) (270)
(Wired) Unlikely So, I can use these Do Not Track settings and no one knows what I'm looking at online? FBI: Yeah, totally. Go for it  (wired.com) (55)
(Some Guy) Strange When a guy runs up to you without any pants and says he's been shot but you don't see any blood, it's still a good idea to call the cops. "Police say his wound to his backside is not believed to be life-threatening"  (newschannel9.com) (9)
(CNN) Scary Five questions to ask before having penis surgery. Question #3: Do I have a penis?  (cnn.com) (54)
(Daily Mail) Amusing "Hello, I left my Ferrari F40 in your shop for a tune-up, how's that going? Er, ...what? YOU DID WHAT??  (dailymail.co.uk) (247)
(Some Guy) Amusing A glass of New York tap water, a few cents. A bottle of expensive spring water, $8. Figuring out your restaurant's upscale clientele can't tell the difference, BOOYAH, GOLDMINE MUTHAFARKA  (newyork.cbslocal.com) (110)
(AP) Dumbass Pennsylvania newlyweds are behind bars after police say they were caught shoplifting food from a supermarket for their wedding reception  (hosted.ap.org) (27)
(Yahoo) Interesting Libyan commandos almost caught Muammar Gadhafi on Wednesday, and would've succeeded, if he hadn't been slathered in grease  (news.yahoo.com) (21)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Note: the penis tourniquet is to be used in battlefield situations only, and is not recommended for recreational use  (gizmodo.com.au) (36)
(Reuters) Scary Nuclear experts warn of Libya "dirty bomb" material threat. Everybody panic media frenzy in 3.... 2.... 1 ....,  (reuters.com) (43)
(TC Palm) Florida Florida resident's latest community service fail: 'Helping' people in a public park while naked. With SFW photos  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (46)
(BBC) Followup NATO aiding in the hunt for Gaddafi, which, given their performance in Libya, should shorten it by what, months?  (bbc.co.uk) (36)
(Some Guy) Scary Things you don't want to hear: "Momma, there's a truck in the ceiling"  (kmbc.com) (18)
(NewsBusters) Obvious McCain criticized for meeting with Gaddafi, but since this is Rachel Maddow you can probably guess who met with him a month prior (Bonus: Unexplained photo of an even thinner Drew Carey)  (newsbusters.org) (237)
(cbs) Strange Woman robs White Castle by crawling through small drive-up window. Cops quickly rule out all regular White Castle customers  (stlouis.cbslocal.com) (23)
(The Atlantic Wire) Silly Today's nightmare scenario is brought to you by "WHAT IF A MASSIVE SET OF EARTHQUAKES HIT OUR NUCLEAR PLANTS?"  (theatlanticwire.com) (73)
(Some Guy) Weird Fark-ready headline of the day: "Woman's breast implant popped during game of paintball"  (dailytelegraph.com.au) (62)
(AL.com) Interesting Remember how the Deepwater Horizon well was declared "effectively dead" on September 19, 2010 ? Yeah, about that  (blog.al.com) (58)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Diets high in sodium may dull the mind and increase the risk of Alzheimer's, but doctors suggest you take these warnings with a grain of salt  (dailymail.co.uk) (27)
(BBC) Sad Twwy mwn dy clyff dyvyng yn nywr Ysbyty Gwynedd  (bbc.co.uk) (56)
(Guardian.com) Strange Man in England badly eaten in bar fight  (guardian.co.uk) (47)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Sydney's Fashion Festival includes plus sized models. Surprisingly, some people have a problem with this. (with you would at closing time, don't lie pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (244)
(Canoe) PSA If you're transporting a kilo of marijuana by bicycle, make sure you have a bell  (cnews.canoe.ca) (32)
(LA Times) Interesting When an American doctor kills a patient, the family will sometimes sue the doctor. When a Chinese doctor kills a patient, the family will sometimes arm themselves with whatever is handy, storm the hospital, and kill the doctor  (latimes.com) (67)
(New York Daily News) Interesting DC monkeys knew about quake ahead of time  (nydailynews.com) (134)
(Gizmodo) Cool The only way "Cherkies," the beef jerky and potato chips could be any more awesome is if they had bacon in them  (gizmodo.com) (72)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 329: "Barren Macro". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (162)

Wed August 24, 2011
(UPI) Amusing Okay diamonds are coming out  (upi.com) (58)
(CBS News) Spiffy Mom, sorry I have not called since March, I was being held in a Libyan prison  (cbsnews.com) (23)
(AZCentral) Followup Two American citizens apparently started the largest fire in Arizona's history. John McCain will retract statement as soon as he remembers he made it  (azcentral.com) (116)
(Discovery) Sad The Saddest Photo In The World  (blogs.discovery.com) (279)
(AP) Unlikely Forget what you learned history class; all wars were started by El Niño  (hosted.ap.org) (21)
(CNN) Fail Gadhafi's son offers to broker cease-fire. Also Hirohito has some new ideas on how to resolve the war in the Pacific  (cnn.com) (25)
(Des Moines Register) Fail I hate it when I meet a stranger at the gas station and decide to have him back to my apartment for beers and then he robs me. This just ruins it for all gas station strangers everywhere   (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Weird A first look inside Gaddafi's Neverland compound. Hee Hee  (dailymail.co.uk) (72)
(LA Times) Asinine Hugo Chavez upset that NATO would help the people rise up and remove a dictatorial madman  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Thief hides in laundry, gets caught by the fuzz  (kcci.com) (18)
(ABC News) Followup Penis amputee receives no damages. Additional damages, anyway  (abcnews.go.com) (92)
(Huffington Post) Asinine Fox News guest on parenting: "Beat kids ... with love"  (huffingtonpost.com) (186)
(Gothamist) Hero Cyndi Lauper opens "True Colors" safe house. "In New York City, a very disproportionate number (up to 40%), of homeless youth identify as LGBT"  (mobile.gothamist.com) (209)
(Reuters) Asinine Lockheed Martin introduces the giant flying butt of the future  (reuters.com) (128)
(Talking Points Memo) Sick Urine trouble now, boy. Wasilla, Alaska, councilman and friend of the Palins refuses to resign after booze-fueled pee-and-vomit fest in hotel room   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (80)
(SeattlePI) Strange Wow. Yesterday's earthquake was strong enough to shatter a window from the Sea-Tac airport outside of Seattle  (seattlepi.com) (36)
(SFGate) Cool Giants crown the "World Championship Baby", born 9 months and 8 minutes from the exact moment the Giants won the World Series. They sought a babby most likely formed during a "private celebration" *wink wink*  (sfgate.com) (25)
(Crooks & Liars) Asinine Rabbi claims God sent earthquake to warn rural Virginia on the evils of homosexuality. Hey, it was either this or ZZ Top claims God sent earthquake to punish gays  (videocafe.crooksandliars.com) (140)
(Reuters) NewsFlash iQuit  (reuters.com) (365)
(TBO) Florida Remember how Governor Rick Scott claimed drug testing welfare applicants would save millions? So far, only 2% have tested positive, saving $60,000 each year at total cost of $178-million annually  (www2.tbo.com) (250)
(The Daily Caller) Dumbass Democrat special-ed teacher vows to run against Rep. Gabby Giffords. Even Republicans are saying "Too soon, dude"  (thedc.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Strange There's drunk, then there's too drunk for a bikini wax  (iowacity.patch.com) (48)
(CNN) Followup Gaddafi loyal guards at the Rixos hotel release three dozen journalists after looking outside  (edition.cnn.com) (23)
(WTVN) Cool If you are missing a pot plant the size of a maple tree, the police would like to speak with you. Frankly, so would I  (610wtvn.com) (75)
(CNN) Scary Hurricane Irene has intensified into a Category 3 storm, raising concerns that an East Coast already weakened by a devastating earthquake may not be able to survive its impact  (cnn.com) (197)
(IndyStar) Unlikely Disgraced Republican lawmaker emphatically not gay  (indystar.com) (140)
(Houston Chronicle) Obvious Drowning ends breath-holding contest. Yeah, that would do it  (chron.com) (25)
(Some Guy) News Hey Washington, imma let you finish, but Peru had the better earthquake  (earthquake.usgs.gov) (83)
(SFGate) Obvious Last night's tiny earthquake in the Bay Area blamed on Fark thread  (sfgate.com) (55)
(I Heart Chaos) Scary If you need something to really bum you out today, here's 11 things that really suck about being a grown-up. Eff this, I'm calling in sick  (iheartchaos.com) (267)
(Daily Mail) Florida Woman is "dang sure" she shouldn't have made 12-year-old girl have sex with her husband as part of welfare scam  (dailymail.co.uk) (150)
(11 Alive) Sad A shortage in heartworm medicine forces vets to chose between dogs for treatment. Sort of like a death panel for Fido  (11alive.com) (63)
(FARK) Photoshop Photoshop theme: If stupidity was illegal  (fark.com) (49)
(Chicago Tribune) Silly Sorta News: Indiana college bans song due to violent lyrics. Fark: it's the National Anthem  (chicagotribune.com) (145)
(Some Guy) Sad The Germans have lost their sense of humor  (presseurop.eu) (96)
(Deadspin) Silly Marines are no longer allowed to use the greatest natural weapon  (deadspin.com) (107)
(Some Guy) Interesting New report says 20 percent of people in New York sometimes binge on booze. The other 80 percent don't know what they're missing  (syracuse.com) (53)
(Mother Nature Network) Scary In an effort to make the flying experience more enjoyable to everyone, officials at O'Hare Airport introduce 1.5 million feral bees to the property  (mnn.com) (85)
(NYPost) Interesting The bill for hunting down Che Guevara has come due. That'll be $2.8 billion, Cuba  (nypost.com) (148)
(Stylist) Followup Female reporter becomes overnight sensation for "astonishing" Libya coverage  (stylist.co.uk) (190)
(WTOP) Amusing The earthquake caught the DC mayor off guard, as opposed to the rest of us who were totally prepared for it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go open all my windows so Hurricane Irene doesn't break them  (wtop.com) (143)
(BBC) Amusing Metal thief spends five hours hiding in an air duct from what turns out to be another metal thief  (bbc.co.uk) (35)
(The Courier) Stupid In Scotland, you can be expelled from college for rubbing your hand on your genitals, then rubbing it on a flag. An Israeli flag. Otherwise, its just Tuesday  (thecourier.co.uk) (179)
(Gawker) Scary 75% of all cocaine entering the U.S. will turn you into the Phantom of the Opera with leprosy and AIDS. Happy snorting  (gawker.com) (252)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Dearly beloved (hiccup) we are gathered here today (hiccup) to celebrate this thing called (hiccup) baptism. Someone hold the room still the baby is spinning  (dailymail.co.uk) (33)
(CNNGo) Scary How to prepare good Australian grub. And how to prepare Australian food  (cnngo.com) (43)
(CBC) Followup Canada's opposition leader to lie in the foyer of the House of Commons, and not for the first time  (cbc.ca) (88)
(io9) Interesting Just why do people get more attractive when you're drunk? Here's comes the science  (io9.com) (142)
(Washington Post) Interesting Scientists announce that there are 8.7 million species on Earth. And even though we've only discovered about a tenth of them, you should totally trust them on that number. I mean, it's SCIENCE  (washingtonpost.com) (124)
(Yahoo) Interesting Personally I'd like my kid to be taught by a teacher with the intellectual honesty to call her students "frightfully dim" in her blog  (news.yahoo.com) (217)
(My Fox Boston) Dumbass Senate meets for less time than it took to write this headline  (myfoxboston.com) (126)
(Some Guy?) Obvious Deputy Sheriff fired after being arrested for fighting with romantic rival. Take one look at her picture, and see if you can't guess the whole story. 3-1 you get it right  (standardspeaker.com) (129)
(NOAA) PSA Look out Outer Banks. Look out Long Island and New England. It's your Hurricane Irene forecast thread  (nhc.noaa.gov) (199)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Same woman. Twenty pictures of her with twenty different hairstyles. Twenty mugshot pictures  (dailymail.co.uk) (69)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass Frankly Clark Gable's grandson, the police do give a damn when you shine a laser at a police helicopter. With "I'm so high right now" pic  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup Moammar Gaddafi's radio address to Libya broadcast from an unknown location has turned him and his cause into one big parody  (talkingpointsmemo.com) (56)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious Movie about 15 and 16 year old chicks who like to frolic in the bathtub? Sounds promising  (torontosun.com) (58)
(Salon) Interesting Does '50s Music Still Matter? Well hell yeah Fiddy's music still matters. We old school around here, son  (salon.com) (170)
(CNN) Interesting Libyan rebels start moving government into Tripoli. This means Bob gets the Dept. of Interior, Sam is handling the judging, Mike is going to do some paperwork thing. The copier goes in the corner. And...uh...they will need a new phone line  (cnn.com) (44)
(USA Today) Dumbass Only Joe Biden could go to China. And, uh, mess up all the debt numbers  (usatoday.com) (46)
(Fosters.com) Dumbass Man gets caught stealing items for his baby and runs from the scene...leaving his baby behind  (fosters.com) (27)
(Telegraph) Dumbass Somewhere on the back of the Martin Luther King memorial, you'll find a "Made in China" stamp  (telegraph.co.uk) (117)
(Google) Photoshop Theme: mixed metaphors  (google.com) (34)
(USA Today) Followup USA Today headline: Did the earthquake tilt the Washington Monument? Article: No  (travel.usatoday.com) (24)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass FYI: If the stewardess cuts off your drinking privileges, waving a broken glass and threatening to stab the pilot probably won't get you one more refill  (huffingtonpost.com) (28)
(Bangor Daily News) Amusing Another sure sign of global warming is the Herman, Maine Flasher. "The common thread tying the incidents together is that they occur when temperatures hit the 80 degree mark"  (bangordailynews.com) (16)
(Gawker) Dumbass Man crashes into adult store, steals $800 "life-like masturbator complete with female genitalia, legs and buttocks"  (gawker.com) (52)
(Fox News) Misc Headlines that write themselves: "Greek Police Smash Violent Doughnut Ring"  (foxnews.com) (15)
(Daily Mail) Silly Today's overly dramatic headline: Buildings damaged as biggest earthquake in over a century strikes East Coast leaving path of destruction  (dailymail.co.uk) (55)
(Some Guy) Cool I said get me a NICE coffee. Nice  (bangordailynews.com) (33)
(Discover) Cool Catch the wave as the earthquake sends seismic ripples across the country in the coolest animation you'll see today  (blogs.discovermagazine.com) (51)
(UPI) Sad China's now got/first world cred/they're working migrants/'till they're dead/Burma Slaves  (upi.com) (50)
(azfamily.com) Amusing Old and busted: Highway sign alerting drivers of zombie invasion. New awesomeness: Highway sign alerting drivers of rogue panda on rampage  (azfamily.com) (23)
(koco) Amusing Man arrested at christian school wearing ninja costume. God must hate ninjas  (koco.com) (17)
(Some Guy) Cool Storming Qaddafi's compound -- win. Getting Qaddafi's famous colonel hat -- epic win. Being able to give the hat to your father, a former prisoner of Qaddafi -- megasuperultra-epic win  (news.sky.com) (49)
(Chicago Tribune) Asinine Record a conversation with police after they start to pressure you to drop a complaint against another officer? That will get you 15 years  (chicagotribune.com) (177)
(LA Times) Obvious Match.com agrees to screen for sex offenders on its site, reassures investors that business can continue with membership cut in half  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (73)
(AOL) Sick Those of you who were waiting to purchase dirt samples from where the bodies of a serial killer's victims were buried, your long, anguished wait is over  (aol.com) (23)
(Daily Mail) Cool Monkey see, monkey do. Monkey knows how to keep his cool (w/photos & video)  (dailymail.co.uk) (27)
(Philly) Amusing Philly cheesesteak king dies of heart attack at age 71. To be tastelessly buried in a bun underneath piles and piles onions and ketchup  (philly.com) (228)

Tue August 23, 2011
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these silk suspenders  (bigpicture.ru) (21)
(UPI) Sick Mother receives damages from hospital after being sent stillborn son's remains in envelope. "You've got male"  (upi.com) (145)
(I Heart Chaos) Obvious From the "Science you should already know from reading Fark" files, study finds that being a redneck can be hazardous to your health  (iheartchaos.com) (35)
(Fox 5 Atlanta) Hero Kroger takes a stand against a woman trying to force them to take a "mountain" of coupons. Tag is for Kroger trying to keep reign on these extreme couponers  (myfoxatlanta.com) (361)
(Some Guy) Cool Explorers scramble to build vessel that will reach earth's deepest point; your mom puts cigarettes within easy reach on bedside table  (montrealgazette.com) (36)
(Uproxx) Amusing The great East Coast earthquake of 2011 wouldn't be a real event without a compilation of the funniest Twitter reactions to it, and this one is pretty good, I think  (uproxx.com) (99)
(Science Daily) Obvious Boys don't see a need to talk about their problems. No, I said I *don't* want to talk about it. No, really. Lay off already. Look, dammit, it's SCIENCE  (sciencedaily.com) (153)
(Network World) Scary TSA straight up admits it wants to be Big Brother  (networkworld.com) (368)
(FARK) FarkBlog Brazilians waxed and macaque attacks: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 8/14 - 8/20  (fark.com) (13)
(MSNBC) Cool Stolen goat relieves itself in cop car  (msnbc.msn.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Silly Porn companies discover it's very lucrative to sue people for illegally downloading porn, because most people are embarassed about viewing porn and would rather cut a check than publically defend themselves in court  (vancouversun.com) (132)
(PennLive) Fail It is generally a good idea not to harass a police horse  (pennlive.com) (84)
(Washington Post) Interesting NATO set to drop "iron mountain" on Afghanistan, says this should do it  (washingtonpost.com) (99)
(NewsOK) Sick Halliburton exec takes swig of fracking fluid at press conference; shows off by gargling  (newsok.com) (164)
(Adweek) Stupid Eight top designers critique Diet Coke can redesign. In other news, lots of Americans are unemployed because they are underqualified for this type of knowledge work  (adweek.com) (199)
(BBC) Scary When asked about his unnecessary and accidental brain removal surgery, man says 'GAAAAAAA'  (bbc.co.uk) (88)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine If a cop gets 15 years in jail for fatally shooting an unarmed man 12 times while off duty, what is the sentence for firing bullets toward police during a traffic stop? No, try again. Still not even close  (weblogs.baltimoresun.com) (169)
(NJ.com) Fail Minor-league baseball team to donate money to Mothers Against Drunk Driving on Beer Pong Night  (nj.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Amusing Hey, drop that wooden stake, I'm just napping  (johnsoncitypress.com) (18)
(CNN) Sad CNN Asks: Who fact checks CNN stories? Better headline: How to get away with calling web searches news  (cnn.com) (47)
(Daily Kos) Followup In the wake of the DC earthquake, is it too early to ask what Obama did wrong?  (dailykos.com) (511)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Florida man arrested for printing $20 bills, trying to use them at Taco Bell  (sun-sentinel.com) (75)
(Canoe) Obvious "Man inflamed over amputated penis". Parts of him, anyway  (cnews.canoe.ca) (85)
(Yahoo) Stupid Incoming college freshmen don't know what's an LBJ, an OJ Simpson or a Justin Bieber according to this yearly PR piece masquerading as news  (news.yahoo.com) (131)
(Fox News) Scary DC Police concerned that the National Monument is tilting following the earthquake. Leaning left, I presume  (foxnewsinsider.com) (220)
(Tennis Planet) Photoshop Photoshop this tennis pro  (d.yimg.com) (32)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida New fangled light bulbs cause bomb scare/evacuation at Jacksonville City Hall. Jax Skyway train shut down; both riders extremely annoyed by inconvenience  (jacksonville.com) (68)
(Hot Air) Dumbass Biden to China: "I fully understand your one-child policy." In other news, new ABC sitcom "A Biden in China" to debut Spring 2013  (hotair.com) (173)
(Telegram) Strange Couple loses lawsuit objecting to designation of their abandoned backyard tennis court as historic district  (telegram.com) (28)
(The Hairpin) Followup I know you guys are like "ZOMG EARTHQUAKE IM GUNNA DIE" But focus- we seriously need body lotion/shower gel suggestions. Citrusy, fresh. Nothing too sugary or teenybopper smelling. Thanks  (thehairpin.com) (298)
(Digital Trends) Obvious Scientists have figured out where beer comes from  (digitaltrends.com) (35)
(AOL) Dumbass It's one helluva party when you leave your pants in the bathroom of a stolen limo  (aol.com) (7)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely Dear Dominique Strauss-Kahn, sorry we blew our load about you blowing your load. Love, the media  (marketwatch.com) (100)
(USGS.gov) NewsFlash 5.9 earthquake hits DC area. East coasters panic, west coasters seen laughing hysterically  (earthquake.usgs.gov) (lots)
(WKYT) Sick Neighbors say lady "took care of" a lot of animals. Defined as keeping 60 rabbits and 30 cats in a double-wide trailer that just burned down while she was away  (wkyt.com) (50)
(Some non-librarian) Obvious Study shows that "digital natives", Fark admins are really bad at using search   (lisagoldresearch.wordpress.com) (43)
(NOAA) PSA Here's your daily Hurricane Irene forecast thread. Come for the info, stay for the panic  (nhc.noaa.gov) (113)
(Mediaite) Scary CNN's Sara Snider grazed by bullet casings during live report in Tripoli  (mediaite.com) (136)
(The Week) Interesting So what IS causing the recent dramatic rise in cases of autism in children? Well, according to these researchers, it's because geeks are getting laid more often than they used to  (theweek.com) (188)
(Cincinnati Enquirer) Scary Actual headline: "Officer attacked by dog; boot deflects bullet". Your dog wants steak, and if it's from Cincinnati it may shoot you to get it  (news.cincinnati.com) (31)
(Washington Times) Stupid Jay Leno, Jimmy Fallon and David Letterman told more jokes about Anthony Weiner than any other politician, this according to the esteemed Center for Media and Public Affairs, which might consider analyzing some other topic next time  (washingtontimes.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Amusing WE hAve YOur 28 Foot StatUE of Big jOhn. Wait FOR iNstructioNS. No pOliCe  (wtsp.com) (50)
(Yahoo) Interesting No longer employed as a brutal dictator, Gadhafi accepts a position as the "Waldo" of the middle east  (news.yahoo.com) (97)
(BBC) Amusing Police investigate claims that MP "misused" his union credit card to pay for prostitutes, sparking doubts that police know what "misused" means  (bbc.co.uk) (29)
(Click Orlando) Followup "If people don't believe in the Bible, it's why we have problems"  (clickorlando.com) (406)
(People Magazine) Unlikely Amy Winehouse had no illegal drugs in system at time of death. Just lots of sad  (people.com) (146)
(Some Guy) Weird Remember when you were 12 and you would sneak out of bed at night to watch the late show and deliver your own baby brother? Sappy, Hero tag turn pale, faint, Weird tag steps in  (timescolonist.com) (33)
(Some Guy) Spiffy U.S. Marine sets bench press world record. Even cooler: 6-foot, 272 pound Sgt. David Douglas aka "The Beast" only weighed 145 lbs in high school  (wtkr.com) (188)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious 2007: community park district is praised for banning pesticides and herbicides, and switches to organic lawn-care methods . 2011: "the organic program had likely contributed to the worst field condition in more than a decade"  (suntimes.com) (71)
(Some Guy) Amusing Today's Fark-ready headline: Bull semen forces closure of ramp to I-65S  (wkrn.com) (48)
(Guardian.com) Interesting Group of Russians sets a new world record for a dodged bar bill  (guardian.co.uk) (53)
(The Courier) Scary After being released into the wild under government protection, Scotland's huge Sea Eagles learn to hunt their ancient natural prey: show geese and Episcopal reverends  (thecourier.co.uk) (57)
(Salon) Scary As Christianity fades away, three new players are taking its place. Come meet your new masters  (salon.com) (531)
(KING 5) Fail Woman tries to give another driver the finger, loses control of her vehicle and causes them both to crash. Ta-da  (king5.com) (53)
(3 News New Zealand) Weird If furries freak you out, you might want to stay away from Magdeburg, Germany this week  (3news.co.nz) (92)
(Some Postal Guy) Ironic In bizarro news: Three men go postal and open fire with paintball guns at a postal worker  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (24)
(Short List) Unlikely New York cabbie has second job where he wears a crown and rules over five African towns. Cue hilarious Mrs. Doubtfire montage of him alternating between jobs maniacally  (shortlist.com) (81)
(Some Guy) Dumbass News: Man robs bank after warning teller he had a bomb. Fark: Man robs bank, climbs in getaway car, climbs out of getaway car, returns to bank and gives back money. TotalFark: Robber returns money because his girlfriend yelled at him  (citizensvoice.com) (55)
(CSMonitor) Florida God is playing 'Earth' again. If he rolls doubles on his next turn, he'll finally complete that most vexing Florida level  (csmonitor.com) (92)
(My Fox DC) Scary You're having problems with the banking industry. Do you c) load the Jeep up with fireworks, mount the PVC gun turret to the roof, and head off to DC?  (myfoxdc.com) (47)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop Biden's big ups  (online.wsj.com) (25)
(The Onion) Obvious Study shows 96% of human beings would rather be a banjo-strumming robotic bear  (theonion.com) (68)
(Kotaku) Sappy Welcome to the Aperture Science Enrichment Center. Will you [subject name here] marry [level designer name here]? Congratulations. This completes the test. Note that you may experience eye watering from airborne combustible lemon dust  (kotaku.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Scary Oh you silly Koreans and your silly com--JESUS CHRIST  (comic.naver.com) (382)
(My Fox DC) Hero What was the biggest worry for the 92-year-old widow who was shot when she threw herself in front of gunman who opened fire at the hairdressing salon? The surgeons would mess up her new hairdo  (myfoxdc.com) (21)
(Bloomberg) Scary Former IMF chief: Fixing the world's economy is Mission: Impossible  (bloomberg.com) (107)
(Deccan Herald) Unlikely How wild is Richard Branson? So wild he invites 20 celebrities to his private island, and his house burns down  (deccanherald.com) (71)
(Stuff) Scary Things to set ablaze on your 17th birthday - good: candles on a cake, bad: your friend  (stuff.co.nz) (18)
(AJC) Fail Scientists call off search for "EP13," an escaped medical research laboratory monkey because it's like, really hot outside and they're very tired and, really, what's the worst that could happen?  (ajc.com) (121)
(News.com.au) Fail Mother forces 10-year-old son into public parade of shame. Naturally, some people have a problem with this  (news.com.au) (182)
(KTVZ) Asinine 12-year-old boy arrested and charged with three criminal acts for... *spins the wheel of Zero Tolerance*... pointing a toy gun at a school  (ktvz.com) (126)
(AP) Followup Prosecutor says mom put hot sauce in her adopted seven-year-old son's mouth to get on the "Dr. Phil" show. Jerry, Jerry, Jerry, Jerry  (hosted.ap.org) (59)
(Huffington Post) Dumbass There's the right way to teach kids about drunk driving....and then there's this man's way  (huffingtonpost.com) (24)
(St. Petersburg Times) Florida FYI: If your drug dealer fails to give you correct change for a $20, this is not an appropriate time to call 911  (tampabay.com) (24)
(AOL) Interesting All these entitled kids nowadays think they're just going to make $100K right out of school. Oh, you mean petroleum engineers actually do? Well ... OK, then  (jobs.aol.com) (137)
(UPI) Silly Twelve-year-old boy named town's drag queen  (upi.com) (45)
(Some WV Guy) Weird Shoving students into the trunk of your car and then driving at 100 mph makes you the coolest teacher in the world, but of course doesn't do much for your career  (wchstv.com) (19)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this tank girl  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (44)
(Reno Gazette-Journal) Hero Elderly man uses firearm to corral burglars off his lawn and to a neighbor's house where he called police. Fark: It took him eight hours  (rgj.com) (41)

Mon August 22, 2011
(Yahoo) Sad In Russia, being a politician against corruption shortens your lifespan drastically  (news.yahoo.com) (51)
(Quad City Times) Fail If you're going to send emails mocking your coworkers and giving them insulting nicknames and compare them to People of Wal-Mart, make sure you don't do it with your State of Iowa email address  (qctimes.com) (75)
(Washington Post) Interesting Hey Libya, Scotland here. About that Lockerbie bomber. We want to have a li'l talk  (washingtonpost.com) (92)
(The Smoking Gun) Sick Guess how many men's semen & DNA were strewn about Dominique Strauss-Kahn's $3000-per-night swanky Manhattan hotel room?  (thesmokinggun.com) (208)
(Des Moines Register) Asinine Need a great gift idea for that hard-to-shop-for person in your life? How about getting them a toilet named after them in Iowa? For only $1,000, their dream of being associated with a urinal or toilet can come true  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (32)
(CNN) Followup Sooo...when was the last time the rebels checked Saif a-Islam Gadhafi's jail cell?  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (75)
(Some Guy) Interesting Indiana State Fair stage collapse could lead to collapse of Indiana's gay marriage laws  (wbez.org) (160)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine Houston judge forbids gay father to leave his children with half the world's population  (blog.chron.com) (155)
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Once again, Hawaii is named the happiest state in the union. Which makes sense considering there are tropical beaches everywhere, the weather is never too cold, and you can get leied everyday  (mnn.com) (150)
(Fox News) Sad FCC removes dormant "Fairness Doctrine" from the books. If you have an opinion against this, who cares? We don't have to listen to you anymore  (foxnews.com) (240)
(Al Jazeera) Interesting We already know Allahu means 'Admiral'. Perhaps some other farker can translate the rest of this video purported to show rebels storming Gadaffi's daughter's compound  (blogs.aljazeera.net) (119)
(Talking Points Memo) Amusing Rick Perry: "Just because I wrote in my book that we should privatize Social Security, it doesn't mean that I think we should privatize Social Security"   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (189)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup Chancellor of the University of Northern Virginia resigns to spend more time in his S&M dungeon  (thesmokinggun.com) (43)
(NJ.com) Dumbass *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. *Ow* quit it, doc. (repeat 10x)  (nj.com) (90)
(The New York Times) Scary Have a kid? Smoke a little marijuana? You are a child abuser and we take your kid  (nytimes.com) (247)
(The Atlantic) Photoshop Photoshop this military man of mystery  (cdn.theatlantic.com) (27)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Obvious Bank manager charged with stealing $100,000. Bank executives vow to promote her to the fullest extent of the law  (suntimes.com) (25)
(Daily Herald) Amusing Man hiking in the woods stumbles across discarded rockets, cases of bird seed, outdated ACME catalogs, and... is that a giant slingshot?  (dailyherald.com) (62)
(Some Guy) Asinine Shiny paper a hazard to children. Take their books away to protect them  (freerangekids.wordpress.com) (57)
(BBC) Video BBC reporter: Hey, we'll follow this rebel convoy into downtown Tripoli. Pro-Qaddafi forces: Y HELLO THAR  (bbc.co.uk) (138)
(JSOnline) Cool Nephew's quest for answers brings his uncle remains home to rest, 67 years after his P-51 crashed in Germany  (jsonline.com) (30)
(Yahoo) Sad Scoutmaster forgets the "Be Prepared" motto after leading troop into the woods and encounters a: a) storm, b) bear, c) knife wielding madman  (news.yahoo.com) (274)
(LA Times) Asinine Justice may be blind, but it can also be a bit of a prick  (latimes.com) (41)
(Life.com) Stupid To see a world in a grain of sand, and Mother Teresa in a cinnamon bun, hold infinity in the palm of your hand, and Allah in an aubergine  (life.com) (72)
(Al Jazeera) Followup Libya Liberation - DAY 2 thread. Link goes to Al Jazeera live blog  (blogs.aljazeera.net) (201)
(Canada.com) Obvious New research from the N.S. Sherlock Institute reports women gain weight after marriage  (canada.com) (170)
(New York Magazine) Weird I don't care if it DOES taste like jerky. No, just... no  (nymag.com) (215)
(Some Guy) Scary Lawnmower accident leaves cemetery worker resting in piece  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (23)
(News.com.au) Weird What kind of world do we live in where a man can't go for a ride on his bicycle, in a war zone, without being shot by a sniper?  (news.com.au) (36)
(The Atlantic Wire) Followup Remember that 13 year old kid and his "solar power breakthrough" he achieved by observing leaves and applying the Fibonacci sequence? Yeah, chalk one up for the haters  (theatlanticwire.com) (264)
(Daily Mail) Misc Muslims demand Sharia student loans because paying interest goes against Islamic law. Wonder if that would work on a mortgage company?  (dailymail.co.uk) (142)
(TMZ) Stupid "Dr. Who Performed Surgery On Her Did NOT Call the Cops." Maybe the long scarf kept him from using the phone  (tmz.com) (90)
(MSNBC) Scary Child defenestration isn't falling  (msnbc.msn.com) (63)
(Short List) Weird The worlds of art and photography collide in the creepiest way possible  (shortlist.com) (48)
(Washington Post) Stupid Now that fourth graders are starting to appear in criminal court for uniform violations, schoolyard tussles, and having a soda in the hall, officials are starting to wonder if "get tough" policies are really worth it  (washingtonpost.com) (231)
(Hartford Courant) Fail You can't dress up like a bloody character from "Saw" and go into a liquor store and demand the money in the register and then tell everyone you were just joking when the cops arrive  (courant.com) (38)
(MSNBC) Scary Islanders fret over shark attacks, failure to appear on sports tab  (worldblog.msnbc.msn.com) (28)
(Telegraph) Followup Phone interview with Mohammed Gaddafi cut short because... C) His house is being invaded by rebels (includes gunshot-filled audio)  (telegraph.co.uk) (119)
(WTOP) Dumbass DC councilman spends $135K over 10 years on professional sports tickets. FARK: Of money he pulled from a fund established to help needy families  (wtop.com) (110)
(Toronto Sun) Unlikely Two families decide to pay homage to Deathrace 2000. No, not Florida this time  (torontosun.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Sad Prominent UFO researcher is abducted and taken to another planet at age 80. Yeah, that's the ticket  (paranormaloldpueblo.com) (32)
(AJC) Interesting Public to get first look at MLK in carbonite  (ajc.com) (128)
(TC Palm) Florida When naked and having a few drinks in the privacy of your own back yard, make sure there is privacy in your own back yard  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (95)
(CNNGo) Interesting The 12 worst tourist traps in the world.You absolutely MUST visit this link  (cnngo.com) (534)
(ABC News) Unlikely Arizona survivalist who predicts end of the world on December 21, 2012: "I don't see us as fear mongers or even negative people. I think we are actually very optimistic people"  (abcnews.go.com) (91)
(io9) Strange Ronald McDonald as the decapitated head of Medusa. Sweet dreams  (io9.com) (28)
(Yahoo) Fail At Moscow air show, Russia shows off its new stealth fighter's clever radar-avoidance technique of "not actually leaving the ground"  (news.yahoo.com) (98)
(USA Today) Interesting There's a new weapon in the war on obesity: the Bite Counter, a pedometer for your mouth. You get 30 chews, fatty, then I cut you off  (yourlife.usatoday.com) (54)
(Some Guy) Cool On the 20th anniversary of the Crown Heights riots the father of the young black boy killed and the brother of the Jewish man stabbed to death sit together at a deli as friends  (ynetnews.com) (75)
(Globe and Mail) Sad Canadian opposition leader Jack Layton dies of cancer at 61  (theglobeandmail.com) (422)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this cool off  (online.wsj.com) (24)
(Daily Journal) Scary Religious pilgrims not having much luck now in Lucknow, after the truck carrying 60 of them overturns into a pond  (dailyjournal.net) (40)
(MSNBC) Stupid News: Canadian tour operator offers tourist trip to Afghanistan. Fark: It also offers trips to Iran, Libya, Saudi Arabia, Yemen, Iraq, Kurdistan, North Korea and Tajikistan   (overheadbin.msnbc.msn.com) (111)
(Lincoln Journal Star) Dumbass Meanwhile, in Nebraska  (journalstar.com) (53)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Cool Reservation for two? Ah yes, you'll be staying in the Drew Curtis Presidential Suite  (suntimes.com) (29)
(The Age (Melbourne)) Scary It's all just good, clean family fun until someone gets his legs blown off  (theage.com.au) (44)
(BBC) Interesting Google begins Amazon river street view project  (bbc.co.uk) (41)
(SFGate) Sad Wing walker inadvertently becomes air dancer - then hole filler  (sfgate.com) (143)
(Des Moines Register) Silly 1500+ people break the world record for "stop drop and roll" at the Iowa State Fair...unfortunate they couldn't put this on a stick  (blogs.desmoinesregister.com) (26)
(ABC Action News) Florida Mom arrested for trying to sell her five-year-old son for $2000 to support her tobacco addiction. Naw, just kidding, she's a popper  (abcactionnews.com) (60)
(Wall Street Journal) Photoshop Photoshop this chained Chilean  (online.wsj.com) (23)
(Naples Daily News) Florida You might be "the strongest man in the world," but pepper spray lasts longer  (naplesnews.com) (48)
(CNN) PSA Don't worry, Christians want to help you stop masturbating. Also, you can install software that sends all the porn you view to your spouse's e-mail  (religion.blogs.cnn.com) (351)

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