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Sun February 12, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(Fox News) Interesting We don't need no stinking perfume: New Hampshire considers ban on fragrance in the workplace to protect asthmatics and allergy sufferers  (foxnews.com) (227)
(The Week) Sad Meet Jack Kevorkian's successor, Lawrence Egbert  (theweek.com) (87)
(Some elLf) Photoshop Photoshop this spherical trio  (ellf.ru) (39)
(MSNBC) Interesting Arab League wants peacekeepers in Syria. D'Argo and Chiana still think it's a bad idea  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (115)
(ABC) Sick Pharmaceutical companies have slowed or halted production of children's leukemia drug due to high demand. Wait, what?  (abcnews.go.com) (354)
(News.com.au) Scary This is your captain speaking...HELP  (news.com.au) (41)
(News.com.au) Scary *ding*  (news.com.au) (73)
(Telegraph) Obvious The French just can't understand Fark, deodorants  (telegraph.co.uk) (80)
(News.com.au) News On the bright side, there's lots of new ruins to visit in Greece  (news.com.au) (342)
(ABC) Followup Whitney Houston's daughter beats Bobby Brown to death?  (abcnews.go.com) (101)
(Daily Mail) Weird Hot Playmate suing NYC cops for shoving her face to the ground after taxi driver said she had a gun, which is weird because what he really said was that she was a vampire  (dailymail.co.uk) (91)
(Daily Mail) Unlikely Twenty minutes in a tanning bed will land more chicks than 26 minutes at the gym  (dailymail.co.uk) (73)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this derelict dock darling  (motto.net.ua) (43)
(Yahoo) Interesting A Minnesota City Councilman has a Confederate flag hanging outside his home and says he's not taking it down. "It represents true sovereignty"  (news.yahoo.com) (278)
(Westmorland Gazette) Silly What's 9 inches long, black, and frightens British men?  (thewestmorlandgazette.co.uk) (83)
(Seattle Times) Spiffy What's better than some drinks that make people question your sexuality? Cookies  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (65)
(Baltimore Sun) Asinine Baltimore's new police videotaping policy -- you have an absolute right to tape, but we'll arrest you for loitering  (baltimoresun.com) (207)
(U Mad Tho) Amusing The stretch boat limo van, in case you need to travel amphibiously and in style  (umadtho.com) (76)
(Denver Post) Spiffy Gimme a P. Gimme an O. Gimme a T. Gimme an A. Gimme a T. Gimme an O  (denverpost.com) (102)
(News.com.au) Strange Australian doctors stumped by the case of the boy who is mysteriously turning into a New Zealander  (news.com.au) (46)
(Slate) Interesting San Francisco is the nation's most liberal city thanks to sailors and soldiers and gays and booze  (slate.com) (185)
(Some Guy) Asinine Man convicted of stealing $50,000 worth of copper wire receives no jail time and is ordered to pay back only $5,000 in restitution, proving once again that crime does indeed pay  (newburyportnews.com) (93)
(SeattlePI) Spiffy Canine blood bank helps to save other dogs in need. Your dog wants a small glass of orange juice and a sugar cookie  (seattlepi.com) (36)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this tractor pull   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (25)
(Some Guy) Asinine Not news: white granddad takes his black 5-year-old granddaughter for a walk in the park. News: nine cops draw Tasers, handcuff him, and take granddaughter in a patrol car. Fark: this isn't the first time this has happened to them  (gritsforbreakfast.blogspot.com) (462)
(Stars and Stripes) Asinine Bad: After leaving US Army nine years ago, veteran arrested for being AWOL finally gets discharge paperwork straightened out. Fark: He's not the only discharged vet with outstanding AWOL warrants  (stripes.com) (106)
(News.com.au) Dumbass Teens attack police at rowdy party, with predictable results  (news.com.au) (32)
(Yahoo) Sad Texas woman induces labor two weeks early so her dying husband could hold the baby. Get ready cause the dust is thick in this one  (news.yahoo.com) (154)
(SB Sun) Dumbass You gonna disrespect me by declining my credit card, that's a stabbing  (sbsun.com) (60)
(Denver Post) Interesting No matter what he tells you, letting a man feel your breasts during a private, one-on-one meeting is not one of AA's twelve steps  (denverpost.com) (89)
(NPR) Stupid California chef serves up twigs, rocks, moss, and lawn clippings for $50 an entree, calls it "Wilderness on a Plate"  (npr.org) (153)


Sat February 11, 2012
(Springfield Republican) Dumbass If there's ever a right time to do heroin, it's not behind the wheel, stopped at a light, next to a police car  (masslive.com) (59)
(Daily Mail) Stupid "Comedian" celebrates Black History Month by putting on blackface make-up and embarrassing BYU students  (dailymail.co.uk) (252)
(SeattlePI) Followup Source of cheerleading illnesses identified. It was a N-O-R-O-V-I-R-U-S  (seattlepi.com) (67)
(STLToday) Amusing Attention Underpants Gnomes, finally after a long, agonizing wait, it's time for phase three  (stltoday.com) (27)
(Daily Mail) Weird Totally cool picture, totally bizarre "journalism:" "It's a sight of San Francisco fortunate to today's residents to have yet to be seen again, especially from the eyes of a simple high-flying kite"  (dailymail.co.uk) (58)
(BBC) Interesting Five reporters at a Newcorp owned newspaper arrested over bribing public officials. The Sun will be there once it gets bail money  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(MSNBC) Strange China to ban names that signal 'orphan' status. Example - Tossy McBaby  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (48)
(BusinessWeek) Followup Qaddafi's son: "Niger, please?" Niger: "Oh, alright"  (businessweek.com) (14)
(CBS News) Interesting It looks like Mexicans are not immune from Montezuma's Revenge after all  (cbsnews.com) (22)
(Some 420) Photoshop Photoshop scenes from the day Marijuana is made legal in America   (c0413294.cdn2.cloudfiles.rackspacecloud.com) (42)
(Fox News) Scary Tired of leaving voice mails at 3:00 AM of you breathing heavily? Now there's a card for you to send your Valentine that's still playing hard to get  (foxnews.com) (104)
(Some Guy) Fail News: Winter fest canceled. Fark: Due to cold weather. WTF: In Wisconsin  (sheboyganpress.com) (74)
(Daily Mail) Scary Iranian government turns off the interwebs  (dailymail.co.uk) (203)
(WRCB-TV) Spiffy Small group of poorly funded rebels organize to fight against extremely wealthy and powerful empire to prevent imperialist land grab. And if you think the Star Wars references are just Fark being Fark, think again  (wrcbtv.com) (77)
(Some Retiree) Florida The most amazing photos of a 'cloud tsunami' hitting Florida condos you'll see until you get old and move there  (travel.aol.co.uk) (34)
(Yahoo) Obvious Shockingly, that towering icon of civic virtue, competence, and incorruptibility, former New Orleans Mayor Ray Nagin is apparently under investigation by the FBI  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(You are getting sleepy) Photoshop Photoshop this head holding hypnotist  (pics.livejournal.com) (22)
(NewsOK) Dumbass Communications director forced to resign after learning (1) people read his emails, (2) Oklahoma residents aren't Monty Python fans  (newsok.com) (199)
(Some Guy) Interesting Dude, you should have seen the tailpipes on her. The ride can be a bit rough, but with headers and headlights like she's got, you'll love her  (theclicker.today.msnbc.msn.com) (77)
(The New York Times) Strange Bad economy means that gangbangers are relying on "communal guns" instead of buying their own  (nytimes.com) (71)
(Some keep the fark off me Guy) Sick How completely lame do you have to be to bill yourself as "The Piggyback Bandit?" Ask this guy  (kstp.com) (40)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Obvious The National Park Service announced its plans to remove and change the inscription on the Martin Luther King Jr. Memorial. Obviously some people have a problem with this  (ajc.com) (131)
(Nola.com) Spiffy New Orleans Mardi Gras parade organizers finding new, creative ways to get women to flash their boobies  (nola.com) (122)
(Good.is) Ironic Having spent millions on #Occupy hassles, NYC plans construction of giant urban campground  (good.is) (34)
(Some gun-totin' dad) Followup Remember that Dad who shot up his daughter's laptop? This released statement should tell you whether he's a good father or just a prick  (litefm.com) (991)
(USA Today) Stupid And you thought it was irksome when your co-workers were always talking about their dogs  (usatoday.com) (68)
(Daily Mail) Scary Man gets thrown out of pub by another customer for smoking. Since this is Fark, you'd better believe he came back into the pub with a chainsaw  (dailymail.co.uk) (43)
(Daily Mail) Sad Graffiti artist who made $200m in Facebook IPO says he was offered oral sex every day for the rest of his life for $2m. You should really have a talk with your Mom  (dailymail.co.uk) (144)
(Yahoo) PSA "The 10 Cities You Don't Want to Drive in." #1- New York City- like anybody besides cabbies, cops, and the FED-EX guy who destroyed your monitor drive there  (autos.yahoo.com) (104)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop these humpbacks stranded on the beach  (4.bp.blogspot.com) (22)
(Short List) Cool The world's 10 best sandwiches. Presented without comment  (shortlist.com) (187)
(Oregon Live) Caturday Going from life on the streets as a feral to being a Blue Ribbon winner is not easy - but as Tank the cat will tell you, it's a long way to the top if you wanna rock 'n roll on Caturday  (oregonlive.com) (1027)
(CBC) Asinine Weed Man: Can we take care of your lawn? Customer: No. Weed Man: Great, we'll be over next week. Customer: I said no. Weed Man: We'll send the invoice when we're done. Customer: Refund it. Weed Man: How about no?  (cbc.ca) (126)
(Yahoo) Cool Most 12-year old boys ask to borrow money from grandma. Noah Lamaide raised $10,500 in the course of a month, saving his grandmother's home from being auctioned  (gma.yahoo.com) (26)
(LA Times) PSA Valentine's Day won't just be ruined by your thoughtlessness this year; global warming has resulted in a bad year for chocolate  (latimes.com) (51)
(UPI) Strange Man breaks into woman's home, steals her panties and then sends her cellphone pictures of them  (upi.com) (42)
(Time) Amusing Dude looks like a lady  (newsfeed.time.com) (153)
(Houston Chronicle) Asinine All fifth graders who want to go see "Red Tails" please step forward. Whoa not so fast there girls  (chron.com) (180)


Fri February 10, 2012
(Fark) Survey If we timewarped back by 2000 years, what job would you be most qualified to do? No, you can't bring any modern tech with you  (fark.com) (784)
(Abc.net.au) Scary BAD: getting caught in a landslide while hiking. WORSE: getting struck by lightning while trying to avoid getting caught in a landslide while hiking  (abc.net.au) (38)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Weepy eyes, hot chix, Jersey Shore Ronnie and a guy with mini fishing reels stuck in his beard. It's all there in this week's mugshot roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (118)
(Daily Mail) Interesting French roadbuilders find 21 German WWI soldiers...and 1 goat  (dailymail.co.uk) (141)
(Boston.com) Photoshop Photoshop this crazy old coot in the cold  (inapcache.boston.com) (32)
(PC Magazine) Amusing Anonymous ends the week by bringing down the CIA webpage. *golf clap*  (pcmag.com) (99)
(cfnews13.com) Florida You can lead a horse to a hyperbaric chamber, but you can't make him not blow up  (cfnews13.com) (95)
(Some Guy) Weird Man breaks into home, then vacuums and folds laundry (possibly with a menacing scowl on his face)  (wsbt.com) (57)
(Slate) Followup It's starting to look as if the roles are now reversed - that Obama is Lucy with the football, and the Republicans are Charlie Brown  (slate.com) (271)
(Neal Page) Asinine You're a female air traveler and there's no female TSA agent to screen you? No problem, there's a bus terminal across town. Buh-bye now  (kdvr.com) (232)
(NPR) Obvious Despite their efforts to convince you otherwise, many "foodies" can't, in a blind taste test, tell white wine from red, pate from dog food, or that the chips they're eating are soggy if you make crunching sounds in their ears  (npr.org) (284)
(Boston.com) Photoshop Photoshop this urban underground dweller  (inapcache.boston.com) (38)
(Forbes) Unlikely Kim Jong Un Dead. I repeat - Un Dead  (forbes.com) (264)
(New York Daily News) Spiffy Nothing is more romantic on Valentine's Day than taking your lover on a tour of New York's sewers  (nydailynews.com) (37)
(Some Guy) Strange Man arrested for writing 'bomb' on some toilet paper. "His family says the word 'bomb' is often used by Hadley in reference to a bodily function and not an explosive device"  (wlox.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Amusing Now that gay marriage is legal in California, the state's Health Department thought it was necessary to print a "how to have gay sex" manual  (fox40.com) (210)
(Mother Nature Network) Spiffy Scientists discover a drug designed to fight cancer reverses Alzheimer's in mice. Still no cure for cancer  (mnn.com) (65)
(The Macomb Daily) Weird Cutting out the middle man ... antiques dealer with late stage cancer hosting her own estate sale  (macombdaily.com) (44)
(EITB) Scary Customer from grocery store finds hand grenade hidden among potatoes  (eitb.com) (58)
(NBC Chicago) Hero Cop pulls gun on woman for taking too many items through the self-check out at WalMart, because 9 months pregnant or not, rules are rules  (nbcchicago.com) (617)
(Fark) Survey Get ready, it's time for the Fark Weird News Quiz. #suckitBBC  (fark.com) (29)
(NBC 10) Amusing Fan of British sitcom "Red Dwarf" escapes Philadelphia Police custody. Last seen wearing handcuffs and green jumpsuit. Answers to "Smeghead"  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (89)
(Some Guy) Hero Paul and Storm request your help to petition the NFL to have Weird Al Yankovic perform the SuperBowl Halftime show next year  (change.org) (153)
(Deadspin) Scary During the Super Bowl did you notice the new retractable roof at Lucas Oil Stadium? How about the gigantic scoreboard? How about the sniper's nest above the end zone? Wait ... what?  (deadspin.com) (199)
(msnbc) Spiffy IRS updates their smartphone app. Will now check your tax return and immediately tell how much jail time you can realistically expect to serve  (lifeinc.today.msnbc.msn.com) (37)
(WRCB-TV) Strange Savannah bans snakes from St. Patrick's Day event. Wait, this was a problem? What the hell, Georgia  (wrcbtv.com) (40)
(Breitbart.com) Unlikely Michelle Obama can hold the mystery meat when she prys it from my cold dead hands ...Wait, that didn't come out right  (breitbart.com) (82)
(BBC) Obvious Pot smoking drivers 'twice as likely to cause car crash'. Really really slow car crashes  (bbc.co.uk) (129)
(Guardian) Followup Greek MPs resigning left, right and far-right over the latest demands from EZ finance ministers. Stay tuned as the drama unfolds toward its final act on Sunday  (guardian.co.uk) (103)
(The Sun) Asinine Don't you hate it when you visit your mother's grave and discover they're about to bury someone else on top of her?  (thesun.co.uk) (43)
(Washington Post) Silly Wᴀsʜɪɴɢᴛᴏɴ Dc NEEDs tᴏ work oN ɪts ᴍɪXEᴅ-ᴄAsE sᴛʀEᴇᴛ sɪGɴs  (washingtonpost.com) (46)
(Yahoo) Misc Nearly 1 in 20 U.S. adults over 50 has fake knees; no stats available yet on the number of sharp knees  (news.yahoo.com) (46)
(The Chronicle Herald) Scary 1.7M coffee makers recalled after users were reportedly sprayed with hot water. On the bright side, victims felt more awake than they would have had they actually drank the coffee  (thechronicleherald.ca) (46)
(Fox News) Strange You may want to rethink marrying any guy who offers you a Pizza Hut wedding proposal  (foxnews.com) (20)
(Guardian) Amusing Falkland Islands newspaper editor calls Argentine President Cristina Fernández de Kirchner a biatch. With picture showing what the real issue might be  (guardian.co.uk) (78)
(Haaretz) Scary Remember the WMDs that were spirited out of Iraq and into Syria?  (haaretz.com) (98)
(Some Guy) Scary National Geographic misrepresented 'Doomsday Prepper' Megan Hurwitt. Producer even offered her $1,000 to shoot her cat on camera  (freethoughtblogs.com) (104)
(MSNBC) Interesting Saudi Arabia would like you all to know that if Iran tests a nuke, they want one too...and they have more oil  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (73)
(Chicago Tribune) Cool More than $500,000 rare jewels stolen in a jewelry store heist. It involved burrowing through a wall, disabling alarms, and breaking into a safe. Sort of like Ocean's Eleven but without Julia Roberts  (chicagotribune.com) (34)
(Fark) Survey What is your favorite euphemism for the deed? Subby likes 'bumping uglies'  (fark.com) (372)
(Some Hardcore Guy) Ironic Worker Pepper Sprayed In Buffalo Wild Wings Robbery. Victim quoted as saying "OW OW OW"  (wtae.com) (12)
(ABC) Interesting Vietnamese police trying to force farmer off his land find out the hard way that the war wasn't all that long ago, and guerilla warfare is apparently like riding a bicycle  (abcnews.go.com) (37)
(Some NDP Girl) Followup The Adderal and Booze defense trial starts, small town reporter with butt in seat blog  (c-ville.com) (19)
(Some Guy) Silly From the "I can't believe it's not a porn film" files: Oregon restaurant celebrates Valentine's Day with salamigrams  (kptv.com) (7)
(Smh.com.au) Interesting Gorbachev targets Putin, having long ago demonstrated immunity to polonium by virtue of his Great Lakes shaped birthmark  (smh.com.au) (12)
(The New York Times) Obvious The real class war in this country isn't between rich and poor, it's between the educated and the mouth-breathers. Or, as they say in scientific circles, "same damn thing"  (nytimes.com) (272)
(Philly.com) Interesting According to the scienticians at Philly's leading newspaper, younger women who like guys with money and older men who like younger women can now meet on the internet  (philly.com) (24)
(Some Guy) Weird Pulls up to the drive-through: Hey, could you tell that stiff in the box over there "good riddance"  (digitalspy.com) (15)
(Short List) Interesting Obama releases his campaign playlist on Spotify. Fox News disappointed with the damn American-ness of it all. Everyone else disappointed with the damn U2-ness of it all  (shortlist.com) (152)
(Washington Post) Obvious Rep. Spencer Bachus (R-aking it in), chairman of the House Financial Services Committee, is being investigated for insider trading. If only there were some kind of governmental oversight for this kind of thing  (washingtonpost.com) (45)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Man arrested for felony domestic violence for putting a 3-year-old child in a clothes dryer for punishment. (w/pic of cretin who looks like he went through the dryer himself)  (myfoxdc.com) (51)
(Fox News) Stupid Shyness and grieving will soon be classified as mental illnesses. In other news, pharmaceutical companies will soon have nice new drugs available to help cure you of your newly classified illnesses  (foxnews.com) (68)
(UPI) Cool World's largest collection of rare liquors on sale for $8 million. In completely unrelated news, TotalFark subscriptions to rise to $10/month for some damn reason  (upi.com) (9)
(Talking Points Memo) Silly How to get laid at CPAC. No, really  (2012.talkingpointsmemo.com) (54)
(NYPost) Strange 5-year-old's spelling lesson: A is for apple, G is for gun, R is for Rob  (nypost.com) (18)
(Indiana Gazette) Stupid Dedication can often overcome incompetence, but if you've already been shot with your own gun, you probably shouldn't try a second burglary that night  (indianagazette.com) (4)
(Buffalo News) Interesting What would you do with an empty hospital? BTW, the winning idea gets a million dollars  (buffalonews.com) (74)
(The Atlantic Wire) Amusing There are delusional people and then there is this guy  (theatlanticwire.com) (15)
(Reason Magazine) Amusing Subby will literally make his O face if this headline goes green  (reason.com) (34)
(Abc.net.au) Obvious Crew filming documentary named "Dumb, Drunk and Racist" find what they are looking for with not so hilarious results  (abc.net.au) (30)
(Des Moines Register) Stupid The good news is girls are no longer dumber than boys when it comes to math and science. The bad news: Both sexes are pretty dumb when it comes to math and science  (desmoinesregister.com) (32)
(The Week) Cool The military has an ugly new mule-like robot that will be taught to respond to commands like "sit" and "come here"  (theweek.com) (30)
(BBC) Interesting Dear policy holder: Our computers have detected your car moving at an actuarially imprudent speed. Your credit card has been billed for the resulting insurance premium increase  (bbc.co.uk) (100)
(RamblingBeachCat.com) Interesting The science behind how it feels to get hit in the nuts  (ramblingbeachcat.com) (49)
(Wikipedia) Sad The world lost a great comedian 12 years ago today, know what I mean Vern? Bonus: graduated from same high school Drew did  (en.wikipedia.org) (103)
(The New York Times) Obvious Conservatives: "The reason poor people are falling behind is because liberals have corrupted their values -- not anything we've done." Krugman: "Now wait a damn minute here. . "  (nytimes.com) (185)
(YouTube) Hero Not news: Teenager trash-talks parents on Facebook. News: IT Dad finds said post while upgrading teenager's laptop. Fark: Lectures her and goes "Dirty Harry" on the offending computer  (youtube.com) (392)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Weird Thieves break into pharmacy and make off with as much as they can carry in... hair weave?  (cbsatlanta.com) (23)
(Slashdot) Scary Problem: People are beginning to understand how much their private info is worth and thus, are refusing to give it up to Google. Solution: Google will now pay you to track you completely  (tech.slashdot.org) (29)
(Chicago Tribune) Interesting Are your dreams trying to tell you something, aside from the fact that sleep is where you're a viking?  (chicagotribune.com) (78)
(Google) Photoshop Theme: TV shows in the Dark Ages  (google.com) (58)
(Some Joe C. Sidekick) Followup Kid Rock steps out from Waffle House melee to refute his Not-Made-In-Detroit clothing line charges; "Let me first start off by cordially inviting you to go f*ck yourself"  (kidrock.com) (152)
(Daily Mail) Caption Caption this picture of Ahnold and Sly  (i.dailymail.co.uk) (44)
(CNN) Hero Driver rescues students on her elementary school bus after it imitates a kid's science project and melts down  (cnn.com) (40)
(Daily Mail) Cool The most amazing portraits created with packing tape you will see all day  (dailymail.co.uk) (23)
(The New York Times) Obvious According to the United States Census Bureau, when a child is being watched by his father, that's a special "child care arrangement." When the mother is in responsible, that's the way God intended   (parenting.blogs.nytimes.com) (175)
(Some Guy) Obvious You put a guy named Skeeter in charge of your charitable fund, of COURSE he's going to blow your money in Vegas  (whbf.com) (30)
(Fox News) Interesting Subby, for one, welcomes our new Pennsylvania Purple Squirrel overlords (with purple-pic)  (nation.foxnews.com) (69)
(BBC) Scary The toughest place to be a train driver  (bbc.co.uk) (53)
(Salon) Silly "Can a man be 'slut-shamed?'" Well...yeah  (salon.com) (191)


Thu February 09, 2012
(Some Guy) Stupid Problem: You have a city full of people who have no ability whatsoever to parallel park. Solution: Stop testing parallel parking on the driving test. Ta-Da, problem solved  (dcist.com) (126)
(Daily Mail) Scary 38KKK air bags keep woman safe in car crash  (dailymail.co.uk) (211)
(NJ.com) Obvious NJ DOT committee presents recommendations on ways to reduce train-related deaths. #1: Stop getting hit by trains  (nj.com) (40)
(MSNBC) Cool Another amenity your car is missing: A wood burning stove. Talk to this guy about getting that set up  (photoblog.msnbc.msn.com) (60)
(Some Guy) Weird If you think doing your taxes by yourself is confusing, try getting them done at a tax business where somebody put meth in the company coffee  (billingsgazette.com) (44)
(Some Night Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this night on the town  (1.bp.blogspot.com) (34)
(MSNBC) Fail Rhinoceros accidentally killed by conservationists during anti-poaching demo  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (110)
(Great Falls Tribune) Dumbass If you ever drop your weed by the side of the road let it go, because man, it's gone, and the cops will find the methadone, opiates and benzodiazepines in your car and bloodstream when they stop to see what you're looking for  (greatfallstribune.com) (33)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Fail DUDE, the guy in full police uniform probably isn't in on the robbery  (ajc.com) (158)
(LA Times) Amusing Rick Santorum isn't the only politician with a surging Google problem  (latimes.com) (121)
(C|Net) Sad Kodak moment finally runs out  (news.cnet.com) (127)
(Visual.ly) Video The Fall and Rise of the American Craft Brewery. Starts scary, but has a happy ending. And the hero of the movie is Jimmy Carter  (visual.ly) (26)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Theme: Inappropriate Products (link goes to inspiration)  (i.huffpost.com) (31)
(Wired) Interesting FBI releases file on Steve Jobs which notes that he used LSD in his past. Well that at least explains the iMac  (wired.com) (133)
(wptv.com) Florida An officer pulls you over after you stole $500 worth of jewelry. Do you a) Toss it out the window b) Go out guns blazing c) Hide it in that hot, delicious General Tso's chicken you just bought as a victory dinner (w/pic)  (wptv.com) (49)
(Washington Post) Unlikely North Korea's iconic concrete pyramid, the Ryugyong Hotel in Pyongyang, is now covered in mirrored glass and set to open in the spring, only 23 years behind schedule  (washingtonpost.com) (162)
(MSNBC) Stupid Been looking for a loophole in the 5-day waiting period and background check to purchase an assault rifle? Here's MSNBC to show you how  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (339)
(STLToday) Ironic St. Louis man fatally shot trying to get people to sign a petition to make Missouri safer  (stltoday.com) (76)
(CBS 46 Atlanta) Amusing Two men use a rolled-up magazine 'radar gun' in an attempt to pull over a motorist... who of course turns out to be an off-duty police officer  (cbsatlanta.com) (40)
(Fark) FarkBlog WORLD FARK PARTY II: Mar 30 - Apr 1 in Las Vegas - see comments for details  (fark.com) (355)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Over 40 percent of women carry sexy panties in their purse in case a date with somebody other than you goes better than expected  (dailymail.co.uk) (366)
(Des Moines Register) Followup Charges against Iowa burlesque dancers dropped after technical difficulties with the video that allegedly showed them baring too much skin during a balloon-pop routine (w/ picture of Iowa burlesque dancers)  (desmoinesregister.com) (253)
(USA Today) Asinine U.S. economic embargo of Cuba turns 50. Canadians light up a Cohiba in our honor  (usatoday.com) (133)
(Boston.com) Spiffy For the first time in over 300 years England once again has a Prince of Wales who is capable of leading a charge of armored cavalry- AIR Cavalry that is  (boston.com) (109)
(Salon) Obvious When articles invoking the Holocaust and urging creative destruction in Iran appear on the same day in the WaPo, WSJ, Newsweek and Bloomberg News, a skeptical observer might be forgiven for suspecting a well-coordinated propaganda campaign  (salon.com) (430)
(Fox News) Followup Remember that guy who wants to adopt his 42-year-old girlfriend? His kids have asked a judge to block the adoption because they don't want to have a mom-sister, like so many of their friends in the Panhandle do  (foxnews.com) (61)
(Jacksonville.com) Florida One legged cocaine dealer runs away from police by hopping. Really, Florida? I mean, really?  (jacksonville.com) (36)
(Some Wicked Willy) Amusing The judge found Alan Berger voluntarily signed up for the beer-drinking game of beer pong, and couldn't sue Wicked Willy. The judge said Berger "consumed alcohol to the point of diminished capacity"  (wtsp.com) (23)
(MSNBC) Obvious The "mystery" behind the deaths of the Iranian nuclear scientists has been solved. Guess who? Go ahead. Guess  (rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com) (351)
(USA Today) Stupid Toppling TVs have crushed four Chicago children since October, so clearly it's time to start putting warning labels on these Doom Tubes and maybe start requiring protective gear to watch them  (usatoday.com) (129)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Fail When emptying your pockets at a security checkpoint, you might not want to put your pot in the little tray  (suntimes.com) (29)
(Talking Points Memo) Followup The reason behind Planned Parenthood's counterattack against the Komen Foundation   (tpmdc.talkingpointsmemo.com) (631)
(First Coast News) Dumbass Party City isn't supposed to be about a party in your pants but surveillance video shows that's what it's become for shoplifters  (firstcoastnews.com) (20)
(Fark) Photoshop Theme: Unlikely Crime-fighting Duos  (fark.com) (21)
(Digital Trends) Spiffy 32-megajoule railgun has been delivered to the Navy, is capable of launching a projectile with the force of a 64,000 lb truck travelling at 100MPH. No mention of how many Rhode Islands this translates into  (digitaltrends.com) (262)
(The Sun) Sad Drilled through the heart, and you're to blame. You give mayonnaise tubs a bad name  (thesun.co.uk) (37)
(LA Times) Strange Naked man climbs radio tower, doesn't receive good reception  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (30)
(Daily Mail) Sick British swingers club may be forced to close because your mom can't keep her gangbangs at a reasonable noise level  (dailymail.co.uk) (120)
(Some Guy) Asinine Angry dad de-lifes couple for defriending his daughter on Facebook  (charlotte.cbslocal.com) (145)
(MSNBC) Obvious Mexico wants to be less decapitatey, more touristy  (itineraries.msnbc.msn.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Asinine Los Angeles may fine you $1,000 if you throw any object besides a beach ball or volleyball on a beach without a permit. Feel free to throw an objectless fit at no cost, however  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (86)
(NBC Bay Area) Obvious Sometimes you get bored at work. Sometimes you view porn. Protip: Don't view it in the middle of a rape trial when you're the court clerk  (nbcbayarea.com) (29)
(The Sun) Amusing Mein Kampfy shorts  (thesun.co.uk) (77)
(Bergen Record) Dumbass Protip: Dude, you're supposed to wait until you actually assume your teaching job before making sexytime chat with a twelve-year-old girl  (northjersey.com) (40)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 353: "Apples vs. Oranges 2: The Rematch." Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (83)


Wed February 08, 2012
(IEEE Spectrum) Cool (Almost) everyone loves the Taiwanese media animations of current news events. Now, learn the cool story of the man behind the Next Media madness (and how they do it so quickly)  (spectrum.ieee.org) (28)
(MSNBC) Dumbass The mail never stops, Jerry  (msnbc.msn.com) (93)
(Fark) FarkBlog Vulcans dealing with Pon Farr, Microsoft defenestrating 200 workers, and Don Cornelius starting off Black History Month with a bang: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 1/29 - 2/4  (fark.com) (8)
(SFGate) Strange Man barricades himself in apartment after concluding that someone stole and ate his chicken meal  (blog.sfgate.com) (33)
(The Consumerist) Asinine From the "Why Haven't They Been Doing That All Along?" files: Congress introduces legislation to limit levels of lead and arsenic in fruit juice. Next up - Bringing down the levels of broken glass in breakfast cereal  (consumerist.com) (104)
(NPR) Interesting 'Rasputin was my neighbor' and other true tales of time travel  (npr.org) (87)
(Chicago Tribune) Fail Chicago learns the hard way that elementary school children can sneak gang symbols into contest artwork just like adults can  (chicagotribune.com) (153)
(Komo) Cool Lots of rainbows in Seattle today as WA becomes the first state to pass marriage equality by popular vote  (komonews.com) (516)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this pensive person  (media.mike.nmspace.net) (30)
(STLToday) Misc Why XXXXX mothers are superior. Never has there been a more misleading headline  (stltoday.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Judge on the other side of the gavel after dismissing wife's and friends' tickets  (fox17online.com) (38)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Scary Ok, for the last time, the 7-year-old girls in Walmart are NOT free samples. Please make a note of it  (ajc.com) (64)
(Mother Nature Network) Weird Scientists discover a primate with a shriek that more ear-piercing than your sister-in-law's  (mnn.com) (31)
(q13fox.com) Sick I-N-T-E-S-T-I-N-A-L I-L-L-N-E-S-S breaks out at cheerleading tournament  (q13fox.com) (102)
(Reading Eagle) Dumbass Woman arrested two consecutive mornings by the same cop for drunk driving. "This can't happen again" she yelled at the cop as it was.... happening again  (readingeagle.com) (64)
(NBC Bay Area) Spiffy You may get arrested if you tell the police your 6 lbs of marijuana has been stolen. Or, the cops may catch the burglars and allow you to sue for the value of the weed  (nbcbayarea.com) (62)
(Beauty and Style) Obvious Men are really stupid and need to be told what to carry by a fashion editor. For example, did you know that "pens are convenient for noting a phone number"?  (beautyandstyle.com) (249)
(Denver Channel) Fail TV anchor learns how not to pet a dog  (thedenverchannel.com) (269)
(wptv.com) Florida "You got me red-handed," bank robber actually tells officer after dye packs explode all over his getaway car  (wptv.com) (29)
(Some elLf) Photoshop Photoshop this ethereal stairway  (ellf.ru) (33)
(Telegraph) Strange Indonesian train officials have an innovative new way of keeping 'rail surfers' off the roofs of their trains: swat them with brooms drenched in putrid smelly goop  (telegraph.co.uk) (175)
(WXYZ Detroit) Interesting Ready to inhale your caffeine instead of drink it?  (wxyz.com) (170)
(Daily Mail) Followup How many officers does it take to beat the fark out of a man in insulin shock? In Nevada, the answer is 7 or more  (dailymail.co.uk) (409)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida Top 3 things not to wear when escaping from prison: #3 - Heart monitor, #2 - Hospital gown, #1 - Leg irons  (orlandosentinel.com) (25)
(TC Palm) Florida When your friend gives you a ride to work instead of your girlfriend, does your girlfriend a) say you made her look bad and try to run you over in an alley b) hit you with a jack c) burn your wardrobe d) all of the above. With luscious mug shot  (blogs.tcpalm.com) (100)
(Daily Express) Dumbass Twitter troll learns the hard way that you shouldn't call the Queen of England a "benefits scrounger" if you're on the public payroll yourself  (express.co.uk) (104)
(Local10) Florida Man returns to house to find squatters with drugs, grenades, and since this is Florida and not New York, a pig  (local10.com) (35)
(Daily Mail) Sad Wolfman family in India seeks help for their rare genetic affliction, hopes to enlist the aid of Tom Cruise, who has decades of experience dealing with beards  (dailymail.co.uk) (82)
(KRQE News) Asinine Problem: 87 percent of your schools are failing by your own criteria. Solution: Make scoring 75 percent deserving of an A rating. There, all fixed  (krqe.com) (103)
(First Coast News) Dumbass Another Florida college is making headlines for hazing, and this time it's a fraternity at the University of Florida that's in the hot seat  (firstcoastnews.com) (87)
(nbc philadelphia) Followup Animal slavery trial of PETA against Sea World begins. Shamu reportedly hires a real shark for a lawyer  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (132)
(Washington Post) Spiffy Attention whoring makes strange bedfellows: Al Sharpton comes out for gay marriage  (washingtonpost.com) (49)
(Wired) Amusing Maximum Trolling - Man claims he actually invented the internet and sues Google, Youtube, Yahoo and Amazon for using his invention  (wired.com) (103)
(Some Guy) Interesting Old and busted: dwarf tossing -- New Hotness: Baby as dumbbell  (wbtv.com) (29)
(Washington Post) Stupid American public with Bush as president: WE OPPOSE TORTURE. STOP ENDLESS WARS. CLOSE GITMO. American public with Obama as president: Can we get some torture drones with our Gitmo?  (washingtonpost.com) (429)
(YouTube) Cool President Obama helps launch a marshmallow across the State Dining Room. SCIENCE  (youtube.com) (131)
(Chicago Tribune) Dumbass Man punched stranger because she 'looked at him funny'. Like funny in a comical way? Were there clowns behind her?  (chicagotribune.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Sick If you ever wanted the pleasure of having the measles AND you were at the Super Bowl village last Friday, I have some good news for you  (fox59.com) (58)
(ABC) Video Air Marshals gone wild--what really goes on behind the scenes  (abcnews.go.com) (51)
(wistv.com) Cool Bank of America has achieved the pinnacle of capitalism. They can repossess your property, foreclose on your home, and now they can kill you without repercussion. Bow to your corporate overlords and pay tribute so that they may let you live  (wistv.com) (116)
(The New York Times) Asinine RIAA CEO, in a thoughtful op-ed on SOPA opponents, fairly points out that they were probably all criminals  (nytimes.com) (585)
(Haaretz) Dumbass 1-2-3-4-5? That's the stupidest combination I've ever heard of in my life That's the kinda thing an idiot would have on his luggage  (haaretz.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this already strange chair and person into something, well, stranger  (contemporist.com) (22)
(Washington Post) Followup Santorum surges with surprise threesome  (washingtonpost.com) (154)
(Some Guy) Amusing Director of the TN agency charged with eradicating marijuana has decided that the most effective form of eradication is to just smoke it all herself  (wsmv.com) (84)
(The Hindu) Unlikely TV cameramen zoom in to bust a politician in session watching porn on his cell phone. He claims in a press conference since the House was discussing rave parties at the time, he was just studying an example of 4 women dancing, being gang-raped  (thehindu.com) (60)
(Fark) Survey If at the age of 15, you knew what you know now, how do you think things would have turned out?  (fark.com) (388)
(The Sun) Dumbass Today's sexy teacher likes drinking, swearing and 'pulling black man' (w/pic)  (thesun.co.uk) (67)
(WXYZ Detroit) Scary Old & busted: drunk driving. New hotness: SUPER DRUNK DRIVING  (wxyz.com) (98)


Tue February 07, 2012
(AL.com) Interesting Pop quiz: A class has 29 students. Twenty students have dogs; 15 have cats. How many have both dogs and cats? If you can't answer this you are dumber than a sixth grader  (blog.al.com) (364)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Woman leads hundreds in free yoga classes on the beach. County: She must be stopped  (mysuncoast.com) (74)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Cool Do you have $87? Do you want to be chased on a 5 kilometer obstacle course by zombies? Then have we got a deal for you  (blogs.ajc.com) (88)
(CBC) Dumbass Apparently, you can't just use Febreze on those little shiats you teach in class  (cbc.ca) (101)
(Mirror.co.uk) Sad Vengeful husband sends wife book with bomb inside. What a novel approach  (mirror.co.uk) (42)
(PennLive) Dumbass When you're 14, and get a beer from your older brother, it is considered unwise to try to sell it at school  (pennlive.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this Hollywood legend   (timelifeblog.files.wordpress.com) (31)
(WTOP) Dumbass Parent of the year can't figure out why failing to get his kids to school 150 times in the past two years is an issue  (wtop.com) (115)
(Yahoo) Caption Caption the President getting tough with a marshmallow cannon  (news.yahoo.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Unlikely In a study that was in no way influenced by Big Snack, potato chips have been found to be lower in sodium than sammich bread  (medicalxpress.com) (114)
(Some Guy) Amusing Are you looking to end your romance? Look no further than the Bronx Zoo. For only $10 you can name any one of its 58,000 hissing cockroaches after your, umm...loved one  (magblog.audubon.org) (40)
(CBC) Scary Canada now officially endorses torture. This is neither a Celine Dion nor Nickelback joke  (cbc.ca) (257)
(Some Guy) Plug Farkette Elizabeth (FL) is trying to win a trip to Europe and become an ambassador for America's next generation of women pilots. She's currently trailing by only 100 votes. Click the Video Contest tab to vote  (womenofaviationweek.org) (372)
(Some Guy) Sad Calling the Suicide Hotline by mistake is now probable cause to arrest you, trash your house, kill your fish and run up your electric bill  (courthousenews.com) (218)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Judge orders man to go on a date with his wife. Man expected to file lawsuit alleging infringement of his 8th Amendment rights  (sun-sentinel.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this mushing man   (latimesphoto.files.wordpress.com) (27)
(ktvb.com) Asinine City blocks lawsuit allowing bicycles on bicycle path  (ktvb.com) (158)
(CNN) Ironic Global warming may be responsible for frigid conditions in Europe. Wait, what?  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (442)
(Some Necromancer) Amusing "Your Honor, I don my robe and wizard hat"  (bc-injury-law.com) (59)
(WRCB-TV) Obvious Consumer officials warn about online dating scams. Wait, you mean she isn't a Canadian supermodel who loves World of Warcraft?  (wrcbtv.com) (112)
(Sort of) Obvious This might shock you, but the ad group responsible for the Clint Eastwood "Halftime in America" Super Bowl ad also worked on the Obama 2008 campaign  (thedaily.com) (509)
(Forbes) Dumbass Kim Kardashian refuses Tucker Max's money, shows surprising self-respect  (forbes.com) (147)
(Fark) Survey Speaking of movies, which new movie do you think you'll see this weekend: Journey 2: The Mysterious Island, Safe House, The Vow, or Star Wars Episode I: The Phantom Menace 3D  (fark.com) (173)
(The Smoking Gun) Amusing Iowa City CrimeStoppers release surveillance photo of man stealing a "Fark Me Silly #1" model "mega masturbator" from adult toy store  (thesmokinggun.com) (89)
(Washington Post) NewsFlash Proposition 8 goes down  (washingtonpost.com) (lots)
(Some Bird Guy) Dumbass Do you own a home with large windows? Is there a cat that you let out in your backyard? If so, you're a criminal  (blog.heritage.org) (89)
(WCPO) Dumbass Man attempts to recreate the Danger Seeker bit from Kentucky Fried Movie  (wcpo.com) (51)
(Yahoo) Strange Because you've been wondering: "What If All the Cats in the World Suddenly Died?"  (news.yahoo.com) (122)
(Ars Technica) Fail Journalist arrested for "resisting arrest" has his video of incident deleted by Miami PD, however the cops didn't know the difference between deleted and tomb-stoned  (arstechnica.com) (221)
(BBC) Hero World War I has finally ended  (bbc.co.uk) (71)
(Guardian) Scary Robotic sentry orders residents to move along or else. Fortunately, as it's in England, it doesn't have guns...yet  (guardian.co.uk) (56)
(Fark) Scary Speaking of secret societies, are there any other members of the Illuminati besides myself? NDIT, obviously  (fark.com) (358)
(Breitbart.com) Obvious Why does The Onion refuse to make fun of the things right-wing bloggers want them to make fun of?  (bighollywood.breitbart.com) (435)
(BBC) Dumbass Doctor jailed for conducting thorough examination of epilepsy patient. By which I mean squeezing her breasts, stripping her naked and performing an internal examination. Still, at least he ruled out lupus  (bbc.co.uk) (44)
(BBC) Interesting Flipping the middle finger dates back to the ancient Greeks and Romans and is part of US Italian heritage  (bbc.co.uk) (48)
(Some Guy) Followup After 8 months, man who filed a $16 "adverse possession" claim on a $340,000 house is evicted. Which means he basically paid $2/mo rent on a 3400 Sq ft home-so who really won?  (nbcdfw.com) (102)
(AP) NewsFlash Karen Handel resigns from Komen for the Cure to spend more time making decisions for your family  (hosted.ap.org) (371)
(My Fox DC) Stupid Lots of things can send you to an early grave - this is definitely one of them  (myfoxdc.com) (17)
(CNN) Sick That guy suspected of killing his wife and who blew up himself and his two sons the other day - could it get more gruesome? Don't axe  (cnn.com) (195)
(Daily Mail) Followup Why hasn't the Russian Antarctica expedition responded for a week now? Nazis  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(SILive) Asinine Mom is suing New York City and Child Services for NINE HUNDRED TRILLION DOLLARS  (silive.com) (79)
(The Brooklyn Paper) Strange Lost: One lightsaber stolen from Jedi in a Brooklyn bar known as a wretched hive of scum and villainy. Suspect is bearded, may have the death sentence on twelve systems  (brooklynpaper.com) (31)
(My Fox DC) Strange Faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, able to climb a bronze statue of George Washington riding a horse and sit in the saddle for 45 minutes before the cops get him down  (myfoxdc.com) (12)
(My Fox DC) Asinine Fed up with the decline of his favorite team, the Washington Redskins, former DC Mayor Marion Barry pledges to work with the owner to help get them back in the championship - just kidding, he Tweets REDSKINS SUCK during the Super Bowl  (myfoxdc.com) (61)
(Some Guy) Hero Evangelical Christian Group: If a man busted for a half-gram of cocaine in 1988 still can't get a job in 2010 without involving lawyers, there's a problem with the justice system  (breakpoint.org) (114)
(BBC) Obvious BP posts $7.6 billion profit in the fourth quarter and $23.9 billion for 2011, showing it has made a complete recovery from the Gulf of Mexico oil spill. Unlike the Gulf of Mexico  (bbc.co.uk) (74)
(Bangor Daily News) Misc You'd think with 7 UFOs hovering around the people of Milo, Maine wouldn't be complaining about how dark it is up there  (seeclickfix.com) (19)
(WTOP) Scary College drinking is on the rise and may reflect a dangerous trend. This is not a repeat from every single other year this same article was written  (wtop.com) (28)
(The Atlantic) Interesting The 50 most powerful images from the Civil War  (theatlantic.com) (130)
(My Fox DC) Scary Safari tourists nearly get to experience feeding time at the tiger enclosure  (myfoxdc.com) (14)
(Some Nerd) Fail Facebook seem a little slow today? Fark links seem more farked than usual? It's not just you, North America's intarwebs are only doing marginally better than China's right now  (internettrafficreport.com) (117)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this frosted phone  (cdn4.spiegel.de) (26)
(Some Guy) Interesting If one of your coworkers doesn't come back from a smoke break, don't be alarmed  (thestatecolumn.com) (27)
(NPR) Obvious So just how important are illegal immigrants to a state's economy? So important that even the Alabama hillbillies who voted for their tough anti-immigration laws are starting to second-guess themselves  (npr.org) (200)
(BBC) Unlikely Five killer whales named as plaintiffs in court case which argues they deserve the same constitutional protection from slavery as humans. SeaWorld: "Cetacean needed"  (bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Some Guy With Cool Shoes) Scary A Maryland mall is evacuated, and goes into lock down after: A) There are credible warnings of a terrorist threat, B) There is a massive gas leak, or C) Sneakers go on sale?  (baltimore.cbslocal.com) (128)
(Short List) Hero Not news: Man starts police chase. Fark: Man starts police chase because he "always wanted to do it"  (shortlist.com) (62)
(Some Trader Guy) Spiffy Two Buck Chuck celebrates its tenth anniversary this month. FARK: 600 million bottles have been sold so far  (traderjoes.com) (47)
(wptv.com) Florida After days of meticulous planning, man pounces out of bush to chase after ex-wife, douses her with flammable liquid yelling, "I'm gonna kill you"... then stumbles and becomes engulfed in flames. (Early Darwin nominee)  (wptv.com) (73)
(WWSB ABC 7) Florida Family of jogger killed by drunk driver circulate petition to ban drinking on beach, reenact 18th Amendment  (mysuncoast.com) (61)
(Mirror.co.uk) Amusing 14 Dickens masterpieces summarized in 140 characters or less. #pleasecanihavesomemore   (mirror.co.uk) (26)
(Some Guy) Strange You're not really hardcore until you tattoo your inner lip. "It will only last about three months because your lip will keep rubbing against your teeth"  (couriermail.com.au) (54)
(Omaha World Herald) Interesting Nebraska considers outlawing cheap beer, sanity  (omaha.com) (18)
(Forbes) Cool Thanks to angry mathematicians, Elsevier's publishing model might be about to go up in smoke  (forbes.com) (79)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida "Police spoke to the man, who said he had just gotten out of the shower and was walking past the window. He said he did not realize there were a lot of people across the street who could see him"  (palmbeachpost.com) (43)
(Mother Nature Network) Asinine I don't normally believe in conspiracy theories, but the Labrador retriever, the golden retriever, the dachshund, and the Chihuahua have never taken Best in Show at the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show  (mnn.com) (103)
(Some rural PA town) PSA Stuff college kids get from vending machines: Chips, soda, gum, Plan B, candy...wait, what?  (wtae.com) (59)
(The Sun) Sappy Hyena happy to get a hug. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (42)
(Some Guy) Interesting The mountain hippie's conundrum: Why is it okay to scream bloody murder whenever Walmart tries to build a store in your town, but you can't wait for the day Trader Joe's opens shop?  (dailycamera.com) (139)
(NPR) Sad The man who tried to keep Challenger from launching that fateful morning has been reunited with the crew  (npr.org) (124)
(LA Times) Followup Serial tuba thieves strike again *sad trombone*  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Cool FREE LIQUOR. Shut. Down. Everything  (wtae.com) (28)
(Some Guy) Scary Ask to play through to get around some slower players? That's an impalin' with a nine iron  (nbcdfw.com) (48)
(Some Guy) Florida This just in: alcohol and balconies don't mix  (wjhg.com) (36)


Mon February 06, 2012
(News.com.au) Sad Bucket kicks the man  (news.com.au) (44)
(Fox News) Interesting Good News: Researchers invent vaccines to prevent heroin, cocaine, and meth addiction. Bad News: It's in Mexico  (latino.foxnews.com) (112)
(NPR) Sad "Institutionalizing juveniles and branding this as criminal behavior rather than dealing with it as normal behavior wrongly places juveniles in places they should not be"  (npr.org) (130)
(Wired) Stupid A handy guide to completing a collection of the most useless, disgusting things ever created by human beings that isn't a Kardashian  (wired.com) (34)
(Some Guy) Asinine It's one thing to steal a microwave, it's another to steal a microwave tower  (myvalleynews.com) (30)
(The Hill) Fail Having seen the successes of the past decade, 49% of Americans support bombing Iran to prevent them from gaining nukes  (thehill.com) (271)
(Boston.com) Photoshop Photoshop this idle industrial machine  (inapcache.boston.com) (20)
(Daily Mail) Spiffy Daredevil, who obviously has a death wish, is preparing to break the sound barrier with a leap from the edge of space from 23 miles high, not deploying his parachute until he's 5000 feet from the ground  (dailymail.co.uk) (198)
(CNN) Hero Amtrak to TSA: How about no  (cnn.com) (210)
(Some Guy) Interesting NJ bill would require kids to stay in school until age 18, leaving those who actually graduate when they are 17 in an awkward predicament  (nbcphiladelphia.com) (171)
(News.com.au) Asinine Pop quiz. A woman and baby are being washed away by a flood. What do you do? WHAT DO YOU DO? c) pull out your smart phone and shoot the video  (news.com.au) (185)
(Fox News) Scary While everyone is paying attention to Iran having one of our drones, North Korea actually has several of them in its possession and is reverse-engineering them to make their own drone assault fleet  (foxnews.com) (95)
(wptv.com) Florida Honestly officer, my daughter with cerebral palsy said I could take 40 grand from her special needs account so my son and I could buy trucks  (wptv.com) (52)
(Some Guy) Scary I'm Tom Bodett, and we'll leave cocaine for ya  (wavy.com) (51)
(Some Guy) Strange Garage door openers stop working on entire block at the same time in St. Charles, Missouri. Some say street lights are to blame  (stlouis.cbslocal.com) (75)
(NewsMax) Interesting Iran bank accounts in the US frozen, basically putting them at a zero balance. Those overdraft fees are gonna be murder  (newsmax.com) (51)
(savannah now) Dumbass When at a gun show, don't point a weapon at something you don't intend to shoot. That includes your leg  (savannahnow.com) (152)
(Some Girl) Photoshop Photoshop this 70's sidesaddle  (theseamericans.com) (26)
(Mother Nature Network) Scary The rate of STDs is skyrocketing among sexually active senior citizens. Keep that in mind the next time your Nana wants to give you a kiss  (mnn.com) (95)
(Some CFC) Dumbass Student in trouble for using Old Spice deodorant spray flamethrower to set special ed student on fi...wait, they still have spray deodorant?  (wtsp.com) (118)
(Houston Chronicle) Amusing Randy Travis doing first-person research for a new album  (blog.chron.com) (49)
(Washington Post) Followup That 20 million year old beast slumbering in the lake under the Antarctic? Still slumbering. For now  (washingtonpost.com) (98)
(Some Guy) Interesting District Attorney investigating the goddamn BAT vans  (610wiod.com) (30)
(Some Guy) Strange "The burrito's rightful owner walked up to the men and said he wanted his burrito back"  (kob.com) (86)
(Some Guy) Amusing Sex Week vs. True Love Week, otherwise known as the loose free for all's against the prudes sparks debate on Yale campus  (nbcconnecticut.com) (127)
(Yahoo) Scary Red Rover, Red Rover, let your Sikorsky S-76 come over  (news.yahoo.com) (32)
(Some Guy) Silly Restaurant owner faces $5,000 judgment for starting gay rumor about customer  (wisconsingazette.com) (123)
(Daily Mail) Sappy Madagascar lemurs practicing the martial arts? SHUT DOWN EVERYTHING  (dailymail.co.uk) (38)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida You know your ex is a committed stalker if he wants to win back your heart by kidnapping you using a plan that's so detailed it's 23 pages long, has maps and photos and even a code name: "Operation Stitches"  (palmbeachpost.com) (124)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Interesting Police arrest a woman who smelled like alcohol and kept trying to take off her clothes like it's a bad thing  (ajc.com) (47)
(Some Guy) Florida Be on the lookout for the missing Department of Corrections offenders; all 30,000 of them  (610wiod.com) (24)
(Sun Sentinel) Followup Infected cruise ship pulls out of port after being cleaned. Personally, I blame the infection on bad seamen  (sun-sentinel.com) (21)
(Some Cokehead) Florida Protip: Ditch your coke *before* repeatedly dialing 9-1-1 for your chest pains  (wtsp.com) (19)
(Short List) Unlikely FACT: Egyptian kidnappers are better hosts than most of your friends  (shortlist.com) (54)
(The Union Leader) Hero 76 year-old woman launched into a stream after losing control of her snowmobile. According to reports, she may have hurt her wrist. Go Granny  (unionleader.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Florida "I only called that black student 'Chocolate Boy' on hidden camera, while pointing at him because I was handing out candies." Necco, please  (610wiod.com) (163)
(News.com.au) Followup Mushroom-picking family lost for six days in forest describes their balls-tripping ordeal  (news.com.au) (101)
(Chicago Tribune) Unlikely It's the age-old story - man gets stuck in elevator, man gets rescued by fireman and taken into adjoining elevator, man and fireman get stuck in second elevator  (chicagotribune.com) (38)
(Daily Mail) Dumbass "We always get drunk together," says a) a college student about his best friend, b) a bride-to-be about her maid of honor, or c) a mother about her 11-year-old son?  (dailymail.co.uk) (47)
(Washington Post) Obvious Academic experts release 200 page paper showing that online dating doesn't always go well  (washingtonpost.com) (293)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Man busted for mooning on trolley. King Friday the XIII frowns upon these shenanigans   (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (28)
(Brown from the Sun) Photoshop Photoshop these two men and their Munsters  (s3.amazonaws.com) (33)
(News.com.au) Hero Three-year-old defeats claw machine, shares his victory with everyone else at the arcade  (news.com.au) (104)
(Denver Post) Hero Paging Dr. Zaius to the Denver Zoo  (denverpost.com) (48)
(Huffington Post) Scary LEVEL 1 EMERGENCY: Japan's 59% of female respondents aged 16 to 19 said they were uninterested in or averse to sex, a near 12% increase since 2008  (huffingtonpost.com) (545)
(Wikipedia) Survey What movie quote or song lyric best describes you?  (en.wikipedia.org) (557)
(Minneapolis Star Tribune) Unlikely Elderly South Dakota man driving in fog accidentally escapes to Minnesota  (startribune.com) (50)

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