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Sun May 20, 2012
Source     Fark Headline Comments
(news4jax.com) Sad Man dies in Jekyll Island triathlon. He could run, but he couldn't Hyde  (news4jax.com) (26)
(CNN) Unlikely The Nina, The Pinta, and The Goldberg?  (cnn.com) (133)
(CBC) Obvious Plan to row across the Atlantic cancelled after crew realized their plan was to row across the farking Atlantic Ocean  (cbc.ca) (37)
(Gawker) Scary Boy spends eight hours stuck between waterfalls. He should have stuck to the rivers and the lakes that he is used to  (gawker.com) (71)
(CSMonitor) Interesting America moves from record number of prisoners to record number of released prisoners to record number of released prisoners who can't get jobs with a criminal record  (csmonitor.com) (149)
(Komo) Dumbass Just another Seattle Saturday night when a half naked woman in hot pink duct tape kicks the ba-jeebers out of the cops  (komonews.com) (92)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop what this bridge walker is really looking at  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (39)
(Rolling Stone) NewsFlash ♫ Ah, ah, ah, ah, stayin' alive, stayin' aaaaack... *thud*  (rollingstone.com) (258)
(MSNBC) Interesting New York City's first million-dollar private parking space to hit the market soon. Comes with its own deed, sales contract, and maintenance fees  (msnbc.msn.com) (95)
(News Record) Sappy Man visits elephant he helped get for zoo. I forgot that this room was dusty  (news-record.com) (48)
(Above the Law) Cool This Sixth Circuit judge knows his bourbon  (abovethelaw.com) (101)
(Des Moines Register) Fail Town upset that their landmark is going to be destroyed in the name of progress. That landmark? A scrapyard  (desmoinesregister.com) (37)
(The New York Times) Fail After the murder of two Chinese USC students, their parents are suing the college on the grounds that USC's marketing materials described the campus as being in an "urban" location rather than "crime infested"  (nytimes.com) (224)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop Challenge: Recasting TV shows. LGT examples  (unrealitymag.com) (33)
(MSNBC) Scary Deadly earthquake strikes Italian region of Bologna. If only there were some sort of sandwich metaphor to describe how flattened the buildings are  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (39)
(Connecticut Post) Dumbass Three men caught stripping stolen car. I never understood autoerotica  (ctpost.com) (25)
(Stars and Stripes) Interesting New Afghan terror group called Mulla Dadullah Front emerges that is said to be worse than the Taliban. Expect even worse group to follow: Mulla Mulla Dadullah, Banana fana fo-fulla. Fee-fi mo-mulla  (stripes.com) (92)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Newlywed bride mad that her storybook wedding is ruined by Chicago OWS protestors. She is the 1% who didn't check the calendar for the NATO summit  (dailymail.co.uk) (240)
(Some Guy) Obvious So it seems that treating your precious snow-flake as a uniquely talented creative successful wunderkind can cause a complete meltdown when they hit the real word. Who could possibly have predicted that?  (pjmedia.com) (269)
(CNN) Followup First transgender beauty queen pageant contestant loses by a whisker  (cnn.com) (489)
(Ottawa Citizen) Amusing One man's war with squirrels. He almost had them beat until they made a pact with the chipmunks  (ottawacitizen.com) (88)
(Huffington Post) Scary Wisconsin woman collects cash from relatives to bail out her son. Drug dog inspection finds same traces of cocaine found on every bill in America. Cops seize money for department eclair fund  (huffingtonpost.com) (144)
(Seattle Times) Fail "Subby," you scream through the Oreo and Dorito crumbs caked over your mouth. "Slideshows are Satan's web pages." Oh well, enjoy the slideshow of millennial failure anyway  (seattletimes.nwsource.com) (134)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Watch with amusement as South Florida lawmakers furiously deny the porn mecca their swampy hellhole has become  (sun-sentinel.com) (40)
(Land Line) Fail Delaware House advances bill prohibiting left lane blocking after amending it to allow blocking the left lane  (landlinemag.com) (103)
(Philly.com) Scary Hey, are you going to eat that?  (philly.com) (45)
(Denver Post) Silly Fifth Denver Ukulele Festival draws 1,200 players and Don Ho. "For some reason people don't feel as intimidated with this instrument"  (denverpost.com) (43)
(apan Today) Obvious Japanese officials to small NJ town: "We'd be much obliged if you'd tear down your memorial to abused 'comfort women' of WWII." NJ town: "How about 'NO'... and btw, welcome to the Streisand Effect"  (japantoday.com) (198)
(SLTrib) Asinine DEA wants to scan all license plates on I-15 in Southern Utah, notes how they already do this in California and Texas and are considering Arizona as well. Papers, please, tovarich  (sltrib.com) (134)
(Some Guys have all the luck) Weeners List of the top 10 most famous real or fictional penises. Yup, he's on there...him too. However, regardless of what your online dating profile says, you are not. Possibly Not safe for work  (toptenz.net) (75)
(CNN) NewsFlash Lockerbie bomber, Abdel Basset al-Megrahi, dies after the longest 3 months in history  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (114)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this cheeky painter  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (23)
(Guardian) Spiffy Willie Nelson, tell us what you really think. Obvious tag currently sporting panda eyes, distracted by Doritos. Mmm... Doritos  (guardian.co.uk) (65)
(UPI) Interesting Survey says vacation sex is better. Doesn't mention if that is with or without your regular partner  (upi.com) (56)
(The Sun) Obvious If another country brings a knife to a conflict, bring a nuclear submarine  (thesun.co.uk) (73)
(LA Times) Interesting It appears that even the Brits know not to screw with the native American's burial practices  (latimes.com) (46)
(Daily Mail) Amusing You go now. You be here four hour. But clean your plate first  (dailymail.co.uk) (87)
(Houston Chronicle) Fail Bonfire of the sensitivities  (blog.chron.com) (58)
(Newsday) Interesting Think Friday's IPO was bad? Zuckerberg loses 50% of his $17.5 billion stake in Facebook in one day  (newsday.com) (158)
(News.com.au) Scary Troubled freighter drifts toward Great Barrier Reef. If only there was some way to coral it  (news.com.au) (21)
(Seacoastonline.com) Asinine More than 100 fish stolen from hatchery. THIS ISN'T A VICTIMLESS CRIME, FOR COD'S SAKE  (seacoastonline.com) (36)
(WSVN) Florida Senior Prom held at same location as porn convention, to become Career Day for some lucky couples  (wsvn.com) (28)
(apan Today) Scary Man severs real estate agent's arm, puts him out of commission  (japantoday.com) (28)
(KMOV St. Louis) Asinine Woman injured as rock smashes into bus window. This tragedy could have been avoided if she had paper  (kmov.com) (14)
(Smh.com.au) Scary Toxic chemical found in school sneakers. Hilarity in shoes  (smh.com.au) (33)
(Some Guy) Florida Masked robbers swipe $500,000 in tires. This is not going to be a good year  (ocregister.com) (18)
(ktvb.com) Sick I'm Tom Bodett, and we'll leave a corpse out for ya  (ktvb.com) (47)
(The Smoking Gun) Fail From priests to beasts, it's this weeks Mugshot Roundup  (thesmokinggun.com) (95)

Sat May 19, 2012
(Boston Herald) Obvious Fire chief angry at 'idiots' for wasting his department's time and money when they have to rescue them from roof  (bostonherald.com) (57)
(Some Weather Geek) Obvious Ah, wasn't it a wonderful, mild winter? Yes, yes it was, says Alberto  (wect.com) (57)
(Washington Monthly) Interesting How an angler and two government bureaucrats may have saved the Atlantic Ocean. And by "saved" they mean preventing the primary source of food for most fish in the sea from going extinct  (washingtonmonthly.com) (67)
(Some Juggalo) Scary Clowning is a profession in rapid decline. "We reach out constantly to try to find the younger people to come forward and to join us." ...Yes, down here, where there's cotton candy, and rides, all sorts of surprises... balloons too  (dispatch.com) (123)
(The Newspaper) Spiffy Two Northern California cities dump redlight cameras. Subby's more partial to greenlights, anyway  (thenewspaper.com) (44)
(New York Daily News) Asinine School board takes courageous stand, says "it's up to teachers to decide whether students' clothes or haircuts are appropriate"  (nydailynews.com) (64)
(LEX18) Hero Businessman buys $200,000 worth of merchandise at closing Kmart store, donates it all to local county community services and also rents them a warehouse to keep it in  (lex18.com) (49)
(The Sun) Sappy Two cheetah cubs have a romping good time. The Sun is there  (thesun.co.uk) (16)
(Some Guy) Asinine The war on drugs is working: Police spend several weeks investigating drug dealer with a whole quarter ounce of marijuana  (host.madison.com) (107)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this tunnel of love  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (27)
(WSVN) Florida Who wants to volunteer to teach TSA employees to not play with the pepper spray they've just confiscated?  (wsvn.com) (28)
(MSNBC) Obvious Law enforcement concerned that some marijuana being grown in California is not being used for medicinal purposes  (rockcenter.msnbc.msn.com) (96)
(Some Guy) Amusing Headline: Shrubbery Stolen, Knights Who Say 'Ni' Remain at Large. Fark: No, realli  (weston-ct.patch.com) (34)
(MLive.com) Spiffy Ladies and gentlemen, I give you...the World Expo of Beer  (mlive.com) (22)
(Click Orlando) Florida Man steals swan eggs and scrambles them, now finds goose cooked  (clickorlando.com) (66)
(Chicago Tribune) Stupid Naked man fleeing police falls through ceiling, breaks through glass door and then it gets interesti.... No, actually that's pretty much it. Ta Da  (chicagotribune.com) (14)
(Daily Mail) Scary Plane nearly collides with Denver street light. With helpful news graphic of flying question mark  (dailymail.co.uk) (40)
(Some Woods) Photoshop Photoshop this rustic residence  (bigpicture.ru) (28)
(Contra Costa Times) Cool The USS Iowa will make its final mission Sunday, as it departs the San Francisco Bay on its final voyage to LA to become a floating museum  (contracostatimes.com) (139)
(Guardian) Amusing The best restaurant review you'll read all day. "Moments of cooking so cack-handed, so foul, so astoundingly grim you want to congratulate the kitchen on its incompetence"  (guardian.co.uk) (87)
(UPI) Strange Boot shaped chicken nugget from Quikmart up for auction. Yes you read that correctly  (upi.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Turns out that some men love the Zooey Deschanel iPhone ad. You know the one where she's too lazy to open a can of soup, clean her pigsty  (cultofmac.com) (177)
(PCWorld) Interesting NASA's Google Map shows where tomorrow night's annular eclipse can be seen from Earth. Sorry, states not named California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, New Mexico, and Texas  (pcworld.com) (65)
(SacBee) Asinine FARK: Target fires "well-liked" employee after 16 years. TotalFark: For leaving late to take her meal breaks. UltraFark: 3 times in 18 months. Law$uitFark: She has a disability that makes it difficult for her to keep track of time  (sacbee.com) (166)
(Yahoo) Florida Me fail English? Unpossible  (ca.news.yahoo.com) (73)
(Some Guy) Weird Not to be done by New Jersey, upstate New Yorkers find their tap water is now horribly saline. Tap water trifecta, anyone?  (wcax.com) (38)
(Some Guy) Asinine SWAT team arrests Chicago protesters for the heinous crime of...making beer. Glad we're safe from THAT particular scourge  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (241)
(The Sun) Silly RAF pilot lands helicopter on beach... to pick up ice cream. What flavor did Prince Harry prefer?  (thesun.co.uk) (32)
(Scientific American) Cool If you see only one picture of Shaq posing with a Madagascarian mouse lemur today, let it be this one  (blogs.scientificamerican.com) (37)
(Huffington Post) Asinine "Captain, we're going to take a look in your pilot's case." "OK, let's see. Nav charts, gun, log book." "How long have you been flying with the gun?" "Oh, at least two days"  (huffingtonpost.com) (52)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Lucky Luke: A man's implanted heart defibrillator may have saved his life in an unexpected way, by stopping a knife during an attack ack ack ack  (news.yahoo.com) (28)
(CNN) Asinine Penthouse sells for $90 million. Subby remembers when you could buy them for $5 at the 7-11  (money.cnn.com) (45)
(Some Guy) Silly Foul-mouthed characters are more likely to be rich, attractive and successful? Well, I'll be goshdarned to heck  (trebuchet-magazine.com) (45)
(Fark) FarkParty TORONTO FARK PARTY - June 2nd. 1pm Blue Jays v. Red Sox, 8pm variety show at The Comedy Bar - stand-up, music and burlesque acts put together by our very own Mike "Nug" Nahrgang (AKA The Mustard Man). Come mooch a beer off Drew  (fark.com) (134)
(Denver Channel) Spiffy Three shipwrecked fishermen survive on clams and seaweed for 10 days, by the end are a little dinghy  (thedenverchannel.com) (25)
(News.com.au) Spiffy 73 year old woman scales Mt. Everest. This is a repeat from 2002 when she was only 63. Showoff  (news.com.au) (42)
(Some Guy) Hero Third-graders raise $600 for injured Marines. That's like a billion dollars in kid-money  (wwaytv3.com) (34)
(Some Guy) Amusing That awkward moment when you realize the vehicle you reported stolen a few hours ago has been parked in the weeds in your front yard the whole time  (dacula.patch.com) (43)
(Some Guy) Scary FDA releases little page on their web site stating that within the past ten years 1,000,000 people have been killed by drugs the FDA had previously deemed "safe"  (infowars.com) (164)
(MSNBC) Weird Osaka mayor unrepentant about his crusade against tattooed city employees, says he would refuse to hire Johnny Depp or Lady Gaga  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (67)
(Some Hobo) Asinine Illinois requires your home address when applying for a homeless identification card. No word on the filing fee for a pan-handling permit (PDF link)  (cyberdriveillinois.com) (46)
(STLToday) Dumbass According to Captain Johnson, the "Beavis and Butt-head duo" has been arrested for a series of arson fires. Captain Johnson uh, huh huh  (stltoday.com) (17)
(NPR) Obvious The most annoying cities in America  (npr.org) (195)
(Some woman) Cool Peanut butter cup brownies. You're welcome  (noshandtell.com) (43)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida No matter how bad things went for you last night, at least you didn't have to call 9-1-1 to report you've been locked inside a Dollar Tree store  (nwfdailynews.com) (17)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious The reason so many men these days aren't vegetarians is because Charles Bronson and John Wayne spent so much time eating bloody steaks and charred burgers while sitting around in bacon-stitched robes  (mnn.com) (110)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida High school goes on lockdown because: a) a nearby bank was robbed; b) a tiger escaped from a local zoo; or c) a food fight broke out in the cafeteria  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)
(Some Screen) Photoshop Photoshop this visual void  (pdnphotooftheday.com) (37)
(Yahoo) Fail She works hard for her money... unfortunately this reporter does not  (gma.yahoo.com) (65)
(albuquerque news) Scary New Mexico governor issues drought warning, names buzzard as the new state bird  (bizjournals.com) (33)
(whptv) Scary Toms River, New Jersey homeowners find green tap water. Residents panic, ask city officials to do whatever they can to return it to its natural shade of brown  (whptv.com) (23)
(press republican.com) Caturday Bushytail, a baby squirrel who fell out of his nest, has been adopted - by a feline who recently gave birth to five kittens. While all animals are welcome on Caturday, this is starting to get a little weird  (pressrepublican.com) (610)
(Palm Beach Post) Florida Cookie Monster sentenced to fifteen ah-ah-ah, fifteen days in jail. Ah ah ah  (palmbeachpost.com) (35)
(Some Guy) Asinine Police: Son, if you don't cooperate, we can't catch the guy who shot you in the buttocks  (timesunion.com) (27)
(BBC) Spiffy Limbless Frenchman completes first leg of swim challenge handily  (bbc.co.uk) (16)
(BBC) News SpaceX Dragon spacecraft makes history ... just not the way they intended  (bbc.co.uk) (123)
(WWSB ABC 7) Spiffy Homeless and jobless? Florida woman lives in her car and gets a college degree  (mysuncoast.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Amusing Tired of dealing with a couple drunks on your police shift and the jail is full? Drive them a mile outside of town and abandon them on the side of the road  (billingsgazette.com) (46)
(TwinCities.com) Followup Gulf oil spill was so big, it reaches Minnesota  (twincities.com) (44)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Sometimes there is a man who wears a mask, and drinks terrifying amounts of booze. Challenge accepted  (dailymail.co.uk) (51)
(UPI) Spiffy India's richest family decided to release photos of their 27-story, $1 billion home because "there have been exaggerated reports in the media about it"  (upi.com) (138)

Fri May 18, 2012
(Yahoo) Cool Eight teen girls, all with the same last name, pull off a yearbook Nguyễn  (shine.yahoo.com) (155)
(NJ.com) Dumbass New Jersey man jailed after bank teller accidentally gives him an extra $2,700 and he decides to fuggedaboutit  (nj.com) (79)
(ABC 4) Asinine Police do everything they can to help intoxicated teen dry up, including putting him through a clothes dryer  (abc4.com) (47)
(Daily Mail) Strange Forty-five-year-old woman eats rocks: "Mmm-hmm, yeah. They crunch on my teeth" (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (80)
(Yahoo) Strange There appears to be a market for fetuses and dead babies, fetuses that have been roasted and covered in gold leaf bring in a bit more cash due to the 'good luck' factor  (news.yahoo.com) (136)
(The New York Times) Cool In what can only be a sign of lessening tensions, it looks like Tehran might be getting an IKEA  (nytimes.com) (47)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop this color change  (spiegel.de) (26)
(News-Leader) Obvious Today's "naked woman leads police on multi-city car chase" story brought to you by the great state of Ohio and the letters W-T-F  (the-news-leader.com) (27)
(Some Guy) Asinine Obamunists, Paulterians, Mittenfreaks, and maybe even Johnsoners can all agree on something: arresting a WWII veteran for "electioneering" from wearing an Obama t-shirt in a room next to a poll is pretty farked up  (wfaa.com) (154)
(Some Guy) PSA If you grunt so loud on the toilet that your neighbours call the police, it may be time to increase the fiber in your diet  (timescolonist.com) (133)
(CBS News) Interesting Woman who returned adopted child to Russia slapped with restocking fees  (cbsnews.com) (135)
(Huffington Post) Amusing Don't you hate it when you're out having a few drinks with people you know and you end up standing on a table without your pants, cursing at people? Tends to ruin your sister's wedding, you know?  (huffingtonpost.com) (56)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this giver  (i.imgur.com) (27)
(Fark) Survey Clear your desks, the Fark Weird News Quiz will challenge your knowledge of what happened in the last week and simultaneously determine how busy you were at work  (fark.com) (34)
(Fark) Misc What is the funniest protest sign you have seen? "Descent is the greatest form of patriotism" is subs personal fav  (fark.com) (480)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Interesting Gas pumps have now become self-aware, and they're robbing you too  (abc2news.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Interesting Hey, Hey, Hey, could a "fat tax" be heading our way to cure America's obesity problem?  (theindychannel.com) (362)
(Central Asia Online) Strange For those still laughing at Borat's walking chair joke, here are a collection of Kazakh jokes that will similarly leave you rolling in the aisles  (interfax-religion.com) (37)
(Newser) Amusing Network TV execs are very unhappy about Dish TV's new DVR that automatically skips commercials while recording-so they're refusing to run any Dish TV ads that tell you about the new service  (newser.com) (211)
(Fox News) Florida [tag] + penis = NO PENIS  (latino.foxnews.com) (40)
(Newser) Followup Actually, Virginia GOP legislator Bob Marshall, sodomy is a civil right  (newser.com) (117)
(Slate) Ironic New poll claims only 9% of Americans are willing to participate in polls  (slate.com) (39)
(CNN) Amusing The new French Prime Minister is such an "ai-roh"  (cnn.com) (84)
(The Sun) Followup '9/11 dust' is thought to have killed Donna Summer  (thesun.co.uk) (104)
(Some Guy) Strange Seriously, who is able to steal 110 feet of railroad tracks?  (abc27.com) (105)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida TV news anchor accused of stealing his neighbor's patio chairs, carpet, and scotch  (sun-sentinel.com) (20)
(Some Guy) Followup Zimmerman photos from the night of the incident detailing his injuries, and the 183 pages of court documents, for those who still care, have no life  (610wiod.com) (751)
(Some Guy) Amusing Ready for Fark journalism: "Police said Rachel George spat on, cursed at and kicked officers while they attempted to make her sit, and Sgt. Sean Duffy injured himself striking her in the face"  (triblive.com) (34)
(CSMonitor) Cool Humongous Volkswagen-sized turtle fossils discovered, not expected to be part of Michael Bay's turtle movie, we hope  (csmonitor.com) (34)
(KTLA) Followup Man who sewed son's buttocks shut avoids any time in the hole  (ktla.com) (60)
(PennLive) Stupid You know it's a slow news day if you read about a school board deciding that a children's book is borderline porn, with art from the book for you to decide if it is  (pennlive.com) (126)
(Telegraph) Interesting Contrarian take on Facebook IPO: "You'd be better off investing in Greek government bonds". Facebook IPO discussion thread  (blogs.telegraph.co.uk) (196)
(Some Guy) Strange It's easy to think UFO 'summoner' Robert Bingham is a crackpot for predicting a mass sighting on Saturday in LA. Except, he's done it before. And it worked  (news.gather.com) (64)
(The Local (Germany)) Silly Airport security to German politician: "Sorry sir, but you can't bring that axe on a plane"  (thelocal.de) (42)
(ESPN) Interesting ESPN releases memo on how to treat the 2012 election: "sarcasm, one-liners, perceived endorsements, attempts at humor or political criticism should be avoided." Sweet sassy molassy, BOO YAAA BOO YAA BOOYAA BOOOYAAAA  (frontrow.espn.go.com) (53)
(BusinessWeek) Spiffy Federal Judge to DOJ: You know that part of the NDA that lets you indefinitely detain anyone you think is "supporting" terrorism? Yeah, the 1st Amendment has a problem with that  (businessweek.com) (170)
(AZCentral) Interesting Møøse reboots Logan's Run, seeks sanctuary, but ran right into the Sandman  (azcentral.com) (44)
(SFGate) Followup Minute Maid labels beverage 'Pomegranate Blueberry' despite only having 0.3% pomegranate juice and 0.2% blueberry juice. Judge: Drink up  (sfgate.com) (167)
(Some Guy) Fail You may find yourself in a strange burial plot, wearing a stranger's clothes. And you might say, these are not my beautiful clothes. And you may ask yourself, how did I get it here? But probably not because you are dead  (losangeles.cbslocal.com) (37)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida If you're going to say you're too injured to work, you probably shouldn't get caught running various long-distance races and triathlons. "Her race times also improved after the claimed injury"  (nwfdailynews.com) (34)
(Yahoo) Dumbass NV state lawmaker who ran on a "family values" platform and sent out a mailing attacking her opponent's wife for wearing a dress that was too revealing is now trying to win the Maxim "Hot 100" bikini contest  (news.yahoo.com) (418)
(Some Guy) Asinine Man sues company for $50,000 because he got attacked by geese. The geese could not be found for questioning  (rrstar.com) (34)
(Slate) Spiffy Help me, Prudence, you're my only hope. My mom let me play with her breasts for years after I stopped breast-feeding, and now she's doing it with my sister. How do I stop it?  (slate.com) (98)
(Short List) Sick The only thing more disgusting than these cupcake sausages is how much Subby wants to eat them  (shortlist.com) (30)
(Stuff.co.nz) Obvious Really want to quit smoking? Give me your money, and I'll give it back to you once a blood test proves you're nicotine free  (stuff.co.nz) (58)
(Chicago Tribune) PSA It's your official Let's Pity Chicagoans Affected by the NATO summit discussion thread  (chicagotribune.com) (68)
(WTOP) Interesting The four personality styles of drivers and what it means about how they handle a car. Hint: three of them translate to "asshole"  (wtop.com) (246)
(Click Orlando) Florida Florida evangelist "Apostle Tito" is targeted by members of "Satan's team", or as the rest of us would put it, is arraigned in federal court on child molestation charges  (clickorlando.com) (54)
(NYPost) Asinine Time Warner Cable employee absolutely shocked to find his co-workers watching porn. Hopes $2 million will help him get over the trauma  (nypost.com) (39)
(Yahoo) Scary Six shot, three dead in Louisville. If only there had been an armed citizen nearby we could have prevented this tragedy  (news.yahoo.com) (276)
(USA Today) Florida Florida lowers passing grade for state writing exam. Mississippi: "We can do that?"  (content.usatoday.com) (52)
(Boston.com) Followup Tiny state famous for being tiny spends $75 million on a baseball player to develop a video game. Game over, man, game over  (boston.com) (126)
(Washington Post) Obvious Republican committee, many of whose members live hundreds of miles from DC, hold meeting to discuss DC abortion rights. Bonus: Do not allow DC's only (non-voting) representative to speak. Super bonus: She's a woman  (washingtonpost.com) (154)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Has anyone seen my Spiro Agnew collector's edition cufflinks? They were here yesterday. They didn't just get up and walk away people. They are worth a lot of money you jerks  (myfoxdc.com) (20)
(Daily Mail) Amusing Hell hath no yard sale like a woman scorned  (dailymail.co.uk) (58)
(Google) Photoshop Photoshop a recruitment poster for Fark  (google.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Scary Exceedingly creepy man arrested for hanging plastic bags full of porn & dildos on young women's doors, then standing outside their apts and fogging up their windows with his breath. Bonus: He looks vaguely like a grown up Butt-head  (newson6.com) (81)
(Daily Mail) Obvious Hot woman arrested for having sex in a taxi. With pic of the kind of woman who likes to do it in a taxi  (dailymail.co.uk) (65)
(AZFamily.com) Scary Gladiator Fire now at 6500 acres. Nitro, Zap, Blaze inconsolable  (azfamily.com) (22)
(Some Guy) Stupid Man gives sucky TED talk. TED opts not to publish the talk. Man goes full media censorship outrage troll. Internet falls for it hook, line, and sinker  (tedchris.posterous.com) (149)
(Some Guy) Ironic The sex-tourism capital of the world protests Lady Gaga's shows as too provocative. Wait, what?  (abclocal.go.com) (47)
(Wired) Followup 32 years ago today, Mount St. Helens really lost it  (wired.com) (56)
(ESPN) Fail Not News: The Yankees and Red Sox are fighting for a spot in the AL East Standings. News: Last place  (espn.go.com) (95)
(Marketwatch) Unlikely Facebook trading a sign of hope for investors  (marketwatch.com) (55)
(Marketwatch) Obvious Facebook trading a major red flag for investors  (marketwatch.com) (14)
(SFGate) Interesting San Francisco fire chief declared a deadbeat and has a court ordered garnishment of her wages... wait it's a she... checks photo... wait it's a she?  (sfgate.com) (122)
(Mirror.co.uk) Scary Oceans full of "dead zones" where nothing lives could only be 40 years away - and in some places that is already reality  (mirror.co.uk) (160)
(The Sun) Strange Gentlemen, we can rebuild him. We have the quikrete. We have the capability to build the world's first living statue  (thesun.co.uk) (27)
(BBC) Spiffy Grooming tips from the owner of a 14-foot-long mustache  (bbc.co.uk) (29)
(Some Guy) Obvious Infographic of what the average American eats every year. Mmmm...29 lbs of french fries and 23 lbs of pizza...mmmm  (naturalsociety.com) (70)
(Oregon Live) Spiffy It's nice to know that even in this crazy, mixed-up world, a picture of a miniature toy horse can still bring two young lovers together  (oregonlive.com) (30)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Fail Fulton County 911 center is pro-choice. Female employees have the choice to get pregnant, or keep their jobs  (ajc.com) (80)
(Some Guy) Stupid Desmond Hatchett of Tennessee is pleading with the state to help him pay for child support. Hatchett, 33 has fathered 30 children. "I had four kids in the same year. Twice"  (thegrio.com) (191)
(Telegraph) Sick And today's tough lunch choice, real boiled pigs ear or fake boiled pigs ear?  (telegraph.co.uk) (17)
(Telegraph) Weird Running a half-marathon on a treadmill aboard a hot-air balloon proved harder than expected  (telegraph.co.uk) (25)
(AZCentral) Obvious If you're on death row, it's kind of pointless to ask the state to pay for your expensive hip surgery  (azcentral.com) (65)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Two Tennessee dudes take their Mickey D's very seriously  (thesmokinggun.com) (49)
(Some Guy) Cool It's not a hero, it's FARKMAN (some NSFW language & semi-NSFW animated images)  (umop.com) (57)
(Some Guy) Stupid Woman's Center = Groundbreaking. Men's Center = "A room with a PS3 and a bunch of douche bags playing video games"  (www2.macleans.ca) (222)
(Yahoo) Unlikely Support for President Obama amongst the U.S. prison population expected to rise, as the administration ordered federal, state and local officials to adopt zero tolerance for prison rape  (news.yahoo.com) (118)

Thu May 17, 2012
(WVUE) Scary "Police search for three armed men in home invasion." STANDARD HANDCUFFS WON'T WORK, PEOPLE  (fox8live.com) (34)
(Telegraph) Amusing British MP is butt of jokes after seating accident with colleague. In related news: The British are easily entertained  (telegraph.co.uk) (15)
(io9) Scary Warning, baby teeth may cause nightmares  (m.io9.com) (92)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this coal man smoking a cigar  (msnbcmedia4.msn.com) (30)
(MLive.com) Misc Sad: Puppy Mill. Weird: Run by senior citizens. Scary: The Mugshots. It is a Fark Tag Trifecta  (mlive.com) (78)
(Newser) Followup We were hoping it had gone away, but John Travolta's Gropegate lives on: He just couldn't resist a quickie with Kenickie  (newser.com) (126)
(Long Island Press) Scary LIRR train kills man. Earth on verge of war with Omicron Persei 8  (longislandpress.com) (61)
(Click On Detroit) Hero 81-year-old Detroit woman rescued from burning home by grandson. Everyone's happy until they realize that they still live in Detroit  (clickondetroit.com) (31)
(KTVB) Amusing Underwear bandit breaks through the backdoor, in Fruitland Idaho  (ktvb.com) (25)
(Team Coco) Amusing Thumbs, Dolphins And 98 Other Things That Will Not Exist In 1,000 Years  (teamcoco.com) (68)
(Bloomberg) Obvious Fed to study how banks manage deposits. Their timing is impeccable  (bloomberg.com) (52)
(Miami Herald) Stupid More than 53,000 dead people found to be on Florida's voting rolls, most thought likely to vote for BRAAIIINNNSSS  (miamiherald.com) (215)
(Forbes) Obvious Facebook is a Ponzi scheme  (forbes.com) (195)
(MyFox Twin Cities) Fail Mercury for sale on Craigslist. What could go wrong?  (myfoxtwincities.com) (115)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this flaming mustache  (img3.etsystatic.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Followup Pentagon reveals scale model of bin Laden's compound used to plan attack. Suck it, Hasbro  (wiod.com) (148)
(Yahoo) Interesting Rodin Museum to reopen in July, Mothra Museum still on hold  (news.yahoo.com) (31)
(Connecticut Post) Dumbass Hospital patient caught with pot and psychedelic mushrooms, demands to speak with giant lizard  (ctpost.com) (49)
(CSMonitor) Cool ATTENTION DC FARKERS: Betty White will be at the National Zoo tomorrow. Line up and take your best shot, boys  (csmonitor.com) (41)
(Chicago Sun-Times) PSA Security experts claim that if you're carrying a laptop or a smartphone in Chicago this week, you might come under a cyber attack because people may think you're part of the NATO summit  (suntimes.com) (126)
(Washington City Paper) Fail D.C. Tour Bus Driver: Numbskull tourists always ask for directions to Private Ryan's grave  (washingtoncitypaper.com) (325)
(Some Guy) Cool Google Earth: Product Placement Central  (technology.gather.com) (63)
(Some Guy) Weird A horse can run out to sea of course, but nobody can think a horse can swim of course, so we had to swim a mile out and rescue this poor horse of course  (abc27.com) (61)
(Gizmodo) Amusing If your neighbors refuse to close their windows while having sex do you C) record the act and post the audio file to Soundcloud for all the Internet to hear?  (gizmodo.com) (287)
(Food and Wine) Cool The best part of waking up is "coffee tincture made by infusing grain alcohol and rum with cracked coffee beans "  (foodandwine.com) (25)
(Yahoo) Sad Babylon's Hanging Gardens--one of the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World--is about to get boned by oil whores  (news.yahoo.com) (109)
(Marketplace) Spiffy Those silly hippies of the "Occupy" movement have never done anything worthwhile--except get half a dozen major cities to pass the most signficant bank "transparency" laws enacted in a generation  (marketplace.org) (83)
(Iowa City Press-Citizen) PSA If you're traveling in Northwest Iowa today, be advised that a massive buffalo breakout happened earlier today and now more than 200 buffalo are roaming around five separate counties  (press-citizen.com) (61)
(Chicago Sun-Times) Strange Man accused of paying prostitutes with heroin and food from the McDonald's dollar menu. That stuff could kill a person, what with all the grease and salt  (suntimes.com) (32)
(Entertainment Weekly) Amusing Will Smith's kung fu son gets right to the point and asks President Obama about the space aliens  (popwatch.ew.com) (83)
(USA Today) Sick 96 percent of the meals that you can get in any restaurant fail to even get close to meeting USDA standards for nutrition. Uh, maybe we should lower the standards? It works for education  (usatoday.com) (85)
(WTOP) Hero Not news: Bartender walks female patron home. News: Thief tries to steal her purse. Fark: Bartender fights him off, gets stabbed eight times. Totalfark: He has no health insurance; the bar is hosting a fundraiser to pay his bills. Can we help?  (wtop.com) (132)
(TMZ) NewsFlash The rainbow flag flies at half-mast. RIP Donna Summer  (tmz.com) (373)
(C|Net) Followup Eduardo Saverin says that he is not dodging taxes by renouncing his US citizenship, in the same way that subby discovered table salt  (asia.cnet.com) (207)
(Some Guy) Spiffy "His voice is so high, it sounds like a ringtone." Reporter meets the new, improved, manly Bieber 2.0 on his 18th birthday  (gq.com) (44)
(USA Today) Unlikely Greek government denies there is a run on the bank as everybody looks to cash out euros now instead of taking drachmas later  (usatoday.com) (65)
(The New York Times) Scary Azithromycin may increase the likelihood of sudden death in adults, especially those who have heart issues. Hey, my dentist prescribes that for me, because of my heart operation. Seriously she does. THUD  (nytimes.com) (46)
(Some Guy) Followup Saggy Pants Bill falls on Alabama Senate floor  (1035superx.com) (47)
(Network World) Interesting A 19th Century Bart Simpson placed history's first prank phone call to Mo's Funeral Home  (networkworld.com) (27)
(Mother Nature Network) Obvious It turns out getting a pedicure by allowing tropical fish to gnaw off dead flesh from your feet may give you an antibiotic-resistant disease. Who would have guessed?  (mnn.com) (64)
(Kotaku) Amusing If you are French, and your man is making more love to the new Diablo III game than you, you may be eligible for a free vibrator (Not safe for work pic of woman's second-best friend)  (kotaku.com) (122)
(The Atlantic) Followup FYI: JP Morgan's $2 billion loss is now $3 billion  (theatlantic.com) (102)
(Major League Baseball) Amusing Team trainers to player hit by wild pitch: "Who are you?" Player to trainers: "I am Batman"  (tampabay.rays.mlb.com) (73)
(Atlanta Journal Constitution) Unlikely Newest urban scourge? Geese. Department of Natural Resources: They'll be handled by the coyotes, which will be handled by the gorillas, which come winter, will simply freeze to death  (ajc.com) (109)
(11 Alive) Amusing After decades of being largely ignored, Atlanta's sizable group of transvestite prostitutes have decided to start group muggings to get themselves back in the spotlight  (11alive.com) (52)
(ABC) Sad As new revelations and charges surface, it's looking more and more like Bigus Dickus was the lead centurion of "The Legion of Christ"  (abcnews.go.com) (125)
(USA Today) Followup Remember the fine print of the Verizon contract that states they can change the terms any time they want? Well, it's that time  (usatoday.com) (252)
(Some Guy) Obvious If you're going to send someone a text inquiring about buying some illegal moonshine, make sure you don't accidentally text a state trooper  (adn.com) (27)
(Daily Mail) Strange Don't you hate it when the rocks you collected at the beach spontaneously combust...in your pocket?  (dailymail.co.uk) (71)
(Washington Post) Dumbass Uh, North Korea, just a little tip? When there is only one country in the whole world that will even speak to you, it's probably best not to hijack their fishing boats and hold their crews for ransom  (washingtonpost.com) (83)
(Toronto Sun) Obvious 16th century home for sale. Exposed wooden beams, oak-panelled dining room, fire place and swimming pool that has been drowned in once. Oh, and Pooh. Lots of Pooh  (torontosun.com) (32)
(Bloomberg) Interesting When you buy your Facebook stock today, understand that Goldman is selling 1/2 of their stock in Facebook, and sit smug knowing you're smarter than Goldman  (bloomberg.com) (48)
(AP) Interesting Majority of US Children now being born to minorities. EVERYBODY HISPANIC  (hosted.ap.org) (271)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this reflection  (i.imgur.com) (30)
(The New York Times) Interesting You know how your doctor calls HDL 'good' cholesterol? Yeah, about that  (nytimes.com) (89)
(Daily Mail) Fail After two years and a $1.5 million stimulus, study on erectile dysfunction doesn't stand up  (dailymail.co.uk) (35)
(MLive.com) Sick For once, Arby's sandwich found to contain real meat  (mlive.com) (116)
(AOL) Asinine City employee finds gun while mowing. Does he: A) sell it to a 14-year-old who robs a 7-11, B) pawn it and get arrested as it was used in a murder, or C) Turn it in and get fired for possessing a weapon while on the job?  (jobs.aol.com) (216)
(Kansas City) Sad Fisherman's body found at lake. He was ten feet tall and 700 pounds  (kansascity.com) (41)
(Des Moines Register) Fail "One in eight students at Iowa State University didn't realize they would have student loan debt after graduation"  (desmoinesregister.com) (225)
(Albany Times Union) Strange Naked woman walks into lumber store, causes customers to sport wood  (timesunion.com) (93)
(MSNBC) Obvious Coffee that was once good for you, then bad for you, then good, then bad, then good, and then bad again is now once more good for you  (vitals.msnbc.msn.com) (133)
(Farktography) Farktography Theme of Farktography Contest No. 367: "Scavenger Hunt 2". Details and rules in first post. LGT next week's theme  (farktography.net) (101)

Wed May 16, 2012
(news8000.com) Sick Two accused of driving with portable meth lab next to toddler. That's methed up  (news8000.com) (65)
(Gothamist) Spiffy Former NY Governor Spitzer's call girl selling her underwear. Move along, nothing to sniff here  (gothamist.com) (62)
(Yahoo) Scary Car crashes into the home of Sonya and Wade Schenewolf, of Easton, PA. This is a repeat from March 2012, and also from December 2011  (gma.yahoo.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Problem 1: Minor girls drinking in your bar. Problem 2: Cops are walking in. Solution: Stick them in the kitchen, tell cops they're your cooks. Problem 3: They don't know how to start the grill  (wlfi.com) (81)
(NYPost) Sad The Kennedy Curse is validated one more time  (nypost.com) (147)
(Spiegel) Photoshop Photoshop these students stretching  (spiegel.de) (23)
(Some Bunny) Sad A Farker needs our help  (nei.nih.gov) (623)
(Some zoo's blog) Cool Ugly ass-snow leopards born at Woodland Park Zoo. Link goes to some sucky blog and horrific pics  (woodlandparkzblog.blogspot.com) (47)
(AZCentral) Interesting Tombstone water access denied. Well... bye  (azcentral.com) (133)
(WPTV) Fail You know those $100 shoes you bought to help you tone your butt and lose weight? Never mind  (wptv.com) (191)
(Gizmodo) Unlikely Height, weight, size, girth, tight, skinny, tan, rich, petite, jacked, strong, confident, go-getter, blast at parties, awesome fashion sense, musically adept, great cook, great in bed, etc, etc  (gizmodo.com) (296)
(The New York Times) Sad Carlos Fuentes is no mas. He was the first Mexican author to write a best seller north of the border, an idealistic diplomat, and a brilliant wordsmith in two languages. Subby can't even write a coherent headline in one. Adios, maestro  (nytimes.com) (34)
(Chicago Tribune) Scary Four Guardian Angels knifed in Chicago. If only there was somebody to watch over them  (chicagotribune.com) (72)
(Some Guy) Amusing "The giant penis artwork "Gaia" measuring over 4 metres was...blown up during a controlled explosion"  (austrianindependent.com) (47)
(WPTV) Florida You know you're homeless when your husband rubbing and massaging your back is actually his attempt to secretly stuff stolen Pop-Tarts and Slim Jims into your pockets  (wptv.com) (28)
(Telegraph) Sick "Let's see...fever, check. Infection in the lungs, check. Coughing up blood, check. My dear, it is of my professional opinion that you're just lovesick"  (telegraph.co.uk) (82)
(Some Guy) Amusing Yet another reason why Canada kicks America's ass. We have sex tours for school age kids that include a masturbation room  (winnipegsun.com) (231)
(Some Guy) Scary Man, who obviously has never seen porn before, gets slashy at public library on another man for not looking at porn  (nbcnewyork.com) (24)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this guy getting a grip  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (18)
(Some Bozo) Dumbass Group of clowns to assault police at NATO summit with pies. Guess we will find out if clown death is in fact funny  (chicago.cbslocal.com) (115)
(Some Awesome Grandma) Cool 100-year-old Edith Pittenger has already taken laps at the Indianapolis Motor Speedway (at age 96), so how does she celebrate 100? By going parasailing  (thestarpress.com) (6)
(The Local (Sweden)) Misc Bikini booster blamed for burned boobs  (thelocal.se) (308)
(wlfi.com) Asinine 12-year-old boy put in jail by mistake. Officers suspected something was wrong upon realizing that they jailed a 12-year-old boy  (wlfi.com) (73)
(Washington Times) Amusing Candle company now offering candles for men scented like "Riding Mower" and "2 x 4". Nothing in the flatulence, used motor oil or nitrogen-based fertilizer line yet. But we're waiting  (washingtontimes.com) (97)
(Some Guy) Strange "What are you in for?" "Unlawful possession of abalone"  (lakeconews.com) (50)
(Some Guy) Fail $200,000 street value - $200,000 bail = Freedom to 52-year-old pot farmer  (delcotimes.com) (83)
(Some Guy) Unlikely Trio robs five people and shoots one, across two states, in less than two hours. And they say American work ethic is dead  (fortstewart.patch.com) (19)
(TSP) Dumbass Man visits campus on a stolen bike, steal sodas, says he's going to the library to study but can't remember what he's studying, later found on another bicycle with a stolen sandwich, gets arrested. The circle of dumbass is complete  (thestarpress.com) (11)
(CNN) Followup FBI decides that while JP Morgan Chase might be too big to fail it may not be too big to Jail its executives  (news.blogs.cnn.com) (110)
(ABC) Scary China: Me ban you long time. Vietnam: I can't hear you. Sound off like you got a pair  (abcnews.go.com) (57)
(Wired) Followup On this day in 1988, scientists discovered that nicotine was just as addictive as heroin and cocaine, and yet we still allow it to be sold in stores across the country  (wired.com) (242)
(BBC) Spiffy Finally someone realizes even pirates have to sit on the beach and drink fruity drinks with tiny umbrellas once in a while  (bbc.co.uk) (28)
(IndyStar) Stupid Students place sticky notes throughout school as a senior prank. The principal's reaction? a) Share a good laugh with the students, b) Kindly ask the students to remove sticky notes, or c) Suspend 40+ students and fire the janitor  (indystar.com) (192)
(My Fox DC) Scary DC Metro can't wait for you to get the hell off of its trains  (myfoxdc.com) (57)
(Jalopnik) Amusing Fiat: The car of choice for photobombers  (jalopnik.com) (54)
(NPR) Hero Despite years of trying to grow the donor pool, replacement organs are still in critically short supply for people whose names aren't Dick Cheney or Steve Jobs. The solution? Tax credits for organ donors  (npr.org) (169)
(CNN) Cool "You go vertical into the light, and suddenly, instead of gray and dark, it's light and blue. You are totally connected with the elements. You are in another world. I want to live that again"  (sportsillustrated.cnn.com) (21)
(Some Guy) Dumbass You are not allowed to open fire in a Missouri bar merely because they won't serve you any more alcohol. That's really more of a Texas thing  (kjrh.com) (25)
(Des Moines Register) Obvious Couple commits suicide in a cemetery. Sad, yet convenient  (desmoinesregister.com) (36)
(USA Today) Cool Let's face it, staycations are so last year. How about a nakation instead?  (travel.usatoday.com) (76)
(Buffalo News) Scary Buffalo detectives solve 1994 murder after finally realizing that the guy who "found" the dismembered corpse in his yard had spent the last forty years racking up convictions for raping and killing his way across New York  (buffalonews.com) (23)
(WSB TV) Sad Taekwondo World Champion vs Random Gunman. Round 1, fi- BLAM  (wsbtv.com) (121)
(The Smoking Gun) Sick Pastor busted for watching his flock a little too closely  (thesmokinggun.com) (47)
(USA Today) Stupid Are you a self-centered douchebag who can't wait a few hours before yammering your life's inanities into a cellphone so that everyone trapped around you can hear every detail? Awesome, you're the man, book your next flight on Virgin  (travel.usatoday.com) (40)
(Quad City Times) Fail "Well, we can't give the $72 million it would take to build a new bridge because the old one is unsafe. But we can spend $10 million to paint the old one and make it look prettier"  (qctimes.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Mother outraged that a teacher allegedly molested her 16-year-old son. Father also complains that his shoulder is sore from all the high-fiving  (northjersey.com) (36)
(Cracked) Interesting Remember how the White folks stole all of the land from the Indians? Yeah, well about that  (cracked.com) (165)
(The New York Times) Interesting Take-home HIV test approved by FDA in unanimous vote could prevent thousands of transmissions, frat house gang bangs, annually  (nytimes.com) (34)
(The Tennessean) Strange Tired of the TSA shenanigans at the airport? Just climb a fence, walk across a runway, and board a flight  (tennessean.com) (38)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida What do you do with a drunken Saylor? Put some clothes on her til she's sober. HO HO and up she rises. Ear-lye in the morning  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (38)
(ABC) Weird Man's condition downgraded from Nearly Drowned to Totally Drowned  (abcnews.go.com) (17)
(My Fox DC) Interesting Student: It's hot, can we turn the AC on? Teacher: Of course - just one question - what is equal to the sum of the squares of the two legs of a right triangle?  (myfoxdc.com) (85)
(Gothamist) Scary What a motorcycle looks like after it meets two racing Ferraris  (gothamist.com) (96)
(WRCB-TV) Interesting Four Alabama men fined for stealing cultural artifacts. In other news, proof now exists that at some time in the remote past, there was actually some culture in Alabama  (wrcbtv.com) (40)
(Daily Mail) Interesting Domesticated dogs may have been the reason why we flourished over the Neanderthals  (dailymail.co.uk) (83)
(The New York Times) Cool Usually making faces in the subway would get you punched in the nose  (nytimes.com) (11)
(My San Antonio) Fail There's no way he'll get it right next year  (mysanantonio.com) (28)
(Salon) PSA So, apparently July 9th, 2012 is the Internet Apocaypse. WHO KNEW?  (salon.com) (46)
(Canoe) Dumbass Judge doesn't buy that a 16-year-old girl actually raped a 47-year-old man and not the other way around  (cnews.canoe.ca) (88)
(Slate) Spiffy Luckiest journalist in the world gets paid to find the "Greatest Beer in the World". His answer? Russian River Brewing Company's Pliny the Younger  (slate.com) (195)
(3 News New Zealand) Strange Female genitalia... or Pac-man? (SFW)  (3news.co.nz) (68)
(Some Guy) Sick What do you get when you combine a Sparkling Princess and Royal Horse Barbie set in pink wrapping paper, a digital camera and Viagra? C.) PMITAP  (post-gazette.com) (40)
(Buzzfeed) Amusing 30 years from now: some predictions  (buzzfeed.com) (67)
(The New York Times) Obvious Coyotes force trail closures in Golden Gate Park due to conflicts with pets, shipments of rocket sleds and giant crossbows from Acme Corp  (nytimes.com) (40)
(3 News New Zealand) Dumbass TV crew catches carpet cleaner creating a few stains of his own  (3news.co.nz) (44)
(CSMonitor) Asinine Loyal ally Pakistan allows the US to reopen supply line to troops in Afghanistan. For $365 million US. Annually  (csmonitor.com) (87)
(NW Florida Daily News) Florida After getting caught shoplifting an 18 pack of Bud Light from a store, man admits to the cops that it was "a bad decision." No word if he's talking about the act of stealing or the type of beer he stole  (nwfdailynews.com) (61)
(UPI) Weird Judge orders suspect freed on $150,000 bond as long as he wears his ankle monitor and gets his book reports in by Friday  (upi.com) (9)
(Some Player) Asinine Church Softball team dropped from league because preacher plays for both teams  (ksdk.com) (85)
(AZCentral) Followup Not that it will change the opinion of a single person one way or the other, but the prosecution's own records show the Zimmerman had two black eyes, a broken nose, and two cuts on the back of his head the night Trayvon Martin was shot  (azcentral.com) (794)
(Some Guy) Photoshop Photoshop this powdered person  (rit.edu) (13)
(SacBee) Dumbass A new hero emerges in the quest to free OJ so that he can continue his search for the real killer  (sacbee.com) (50)
(BBC) Cool The US war on Alzheimer's. Never Forget  (bbc.co.uk) (55)
(Stars and Stripes) Sappy Haitian immigrant, rescued at sea by the Coast Guard as a 6-year-old boy, will graduate from the US Coast Guard Academy 18 years later  (ap.stripes.com) (43)
(Gizmodo) Cool New cut of beef discovered: "The flavor is comparable to the New York Strip Steak. It does not require aging or marinating to achieve tenderness." Kinda makes you wonder... What else have those damn cows been holding out on us?  (gizmodo.com) (195)
(The New York Times) Stupid Wal*Mart set to build Alabama location over burial plots of 80 slaves, stage most appropriate haunting in the South  (nytimes.com) (71)
(Daily Mail) Hero 67-year-old man dies after receiving lapdances. That's one way to get 10 dances in a row without paying (NSFW images below article)  (dailymail.co.uk) (59)
(AP) Followup As if being in WalMart isn't trauma enough, NJ man sues WalMart for $1 million after being "traumatized" by a 16-year-old's racist remark  (hosted.ap.org) (84)
(Daily Mail) Cool If you like dogs, you will love giant dogs (NSFW images below article)  (dailymail.co.uk) (86)
(AOL) Hero University issues new contract requiring faculty to accept "Personal Lifestyle Pledge". Faculty members respond with "How about no? Does no work for you? And by the way, we're out of here "  (jobs.aol.com) (243)
(SeattlePI) Followup Seattle Police Department claims Justice Department proposal is unreasonable, says it will be too expensive to stop its officers from randomly bludgeoning innocent people  (seattlepi.com) (116)
(Some Guy) Scary "I saw a boat flying at me with its nose to the sky ... next thing I know I got a boat on top of my leg"  (katu.com) (30)
(The Sun) Scary Duck falls down chimney, survives being on fire. The Sun is there with a variety of sauces  (thesun.co.uk) (26)
(STLToday) Silly If you left $15k at Goodwill by accident, so did everyone else  (stltoday.com) (37)
(Daily Mail) Strange I said, NINETEEN-YEAR-OLD HOTTIE SUFFERS FROM "HATRED OF SOUND", SO KEEP IT DOWN PLEASE (w/pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (176)

Tue May 15, 2012
(WXYZ Detroit) Scary Gas leak shuts down elementary school. And on Taco Tuesday no less  (wxyz.com) (26)
(Some Guy) Dumbass "Man gets 15 days for masturbating at Zellers." That's a lot of masturbation days  (theguardian.pe.ca) (78)
(BBC) Sad Brits go on sunshine vacation, die  (bbc.co.uk) (61)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this torch lighting  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (23)
(Duluth News Tribune) Amusing If a voice in the sky tells you to get off the bridge because a bear is coming, you don't worry about whether it's the Voice of God or just the bridge operator on a loudspeaker - you get the hell off the bridge  (duluthnewstribune.com) (77)
(The Smoking Gun) Followup First masseur who accused John Travolta of sexual assault gets rubbed out of lawsuit  (thesmokinggun.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Amusing Need to fill up broadcast time on your local news station? Put a newschick inside a wind tunnel, crank it up, and call it a report on tornadoes. With video  (wnem.com) (66)
(Some Cuckoo Guy) Strange Knowing what birds think like, Turkey accuses bird of being an Israeli spy  (timesofisrael.com) (60)
(Telegraph) Spiffy RAF performs perfect 'ER II' formation in skies over North Wales in preparation for the Queen's Diamond Jubilee  (telegraph.co.uk) (57)
(The Consumerist) Ironic Special K Chocolate Delight has more calories than Cocoa Puffs  (consumerist.com) (125)
(Washington Post) Obvious April was the 326th consecutive month with above average global temperatures, but this of course in no way proves that global warming may be occuring  (washingtonpost.com) (541)
(CBC) Amusing Man swallows $20K diamond while robbing jewelry store, is locked in cell with no toilet as police play the waiting game  (cbc.ca) (75)
(Some Guy) Asinine Insurance company tells man to remove colourful whirly-gigs from lawn because they're distracting drivers  (thepeterboroughexaminer.com) (46)
(Washington Post) Strange Martha, fetch the shotgun: The trombonists are swarming  (washingtonpost.com) (40)
(CSMonitor) Amusing Government mouthpiece China Daily: "Will [popular US ambassador] Gary Locke please disclose his personal assets?" China Daily readers: "Um, here's his financial disclosure statement, right here"  (csmonitor.com) (41)
(CNN) Sick Just a quick FYI: If your crazy neighbor texts you at 3 in the morning to say that she wants to be cremated with her children, you might want to pop on over and make sure she doesn't have any guns in the house  (cnn.com) (201)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this man's mini sub  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (17)
(The Consumerist) Sick You walk into your hotel room. There is a used condom on the floor. Do you demand a different room? Do you demand a free room? Do you write to the Consumerist and biatch about it?  (consumerist.com) (132)
(Houston Press) Amusing Teacher fired after rant about Jesus, Mary Magdalene, UFOs and the Apocalypse, none of which was on the standardized test  (blogs.houstonpress.com) (89)
(Cracked) Obvious "You really are not apologizing to me at all, are you? Here are 6 Types of Apologies That Aren't Apologies at All  (cracked.com) (125)
(NewsBusters) Amusing Alex, I'll take "Chris Matthews will bomb on this show" for $200  (newsbusters.org) (178)
(VentureBeat) Satire World exclusive Diablo III review  (venturebeat.com) (274)
(Dacula Patch) Amusing LOL headline of the day: "Woman to Officer: 'Those Aren't My Pants'"  (dacula.patch.com) (46)
(Fark) Sad Your official Error 37 thread continues...  (fark.com) (544)
(Pravda) Sad Russia's break dance champion loses leg due to medical negligence  (english.pravda.ru) (35)
(CBC) Unlikely Babies in walkers wielding lawn darts are coming to kill us all  (cbc.ca) (46)
(SeattlePI) Strange Polish hooliganism leaves two giraffes dead  (seattlepi.com) (40)
(Some non-federal worker) Interesting It's good to be a federal worker  (wusa9.com) (133)
(Some Guy) Stupid Suspect: I was running away because they were beating me. Cops: We were beating him because he was running away  (dnj.com) (151)
(CNN) Fail Ousted Yahoo CEO Scott Thompson will not receive any severance package for being forced to resign, and will have to make do with only the $7 million in cash and stock options he got paid four months ago  (money.cnn.com) (35)
(Toledo Blade) Obvious Headline: "Man Shot In Central Toledo". Story: "The victim was struck in the groin". Ladies and gentlemen, we now have a new euphemism  (toledoblade.com) (73)
(CNN) Scary Mississippi police would like to warn drivers that if an officer pulls you over and shoots you in the head, they most likely are not affiliated with any actual government organization  (cnn.com) (63)
(Yahoo) Obvious Wife calls Blagojevich's prison "one of the world's saddest places." The only thing that would make it sadder is one of the world's tiniest violins  (news.yahoo.com) (69)
(CNN) News Dear France - Bailout Greece if you know what's good for you. Sincerely, Zeus  (cnn.com) (148)
(NBCNewYork) Followup Feds open probe into JPMorgan $2 billion trading loss  (nbcnewyork.com) (58)
(BizJournals) Ironic Funny: "The Onion" claims that media savvy professionals working for fracking industry are being hired in droves to mislead the public. Fark: Media savvy professional working for fracking industry responds by misleading the public  (bizjournals.com) (93)
(MSNBC) Dumbass Mississippi legislator gleefully describes returning to the age of coat hanger abortions as a "moral value". FARK: When asked to clarify his statement, he blames the blacks  (maddowblog.msnbc.msn.com) (338)
(Some Guy) Stupid "Investor" is planning on putting his daughter's entire $25,000 college fund into Facebook IPO. "If it goes the Google route, I'll be in good shape"  (businessinsider.com) (217)
(Washington Post) Interesting Ever notice that when you yawn, your dog yawns with you? Now there is science to back it up. Also, bet you can't finish reading this article without yawning  (washingtonpost.com) (53)
(MSNBC) Asinine MSNBC therapy column tries to explain why women don't like nice guys. Meanwhile, Twilight BDSM fan fiction continues to be a bestseller thanks to women living out their fantasy of....bad writing  (today.msnbc.msn.com) (287)
(My San Antonio) Asinine What does a judge say to a 26-year-old who abandoned children to have sex with a 13-year old? a) life without parole. b) chemical castration. c) if you were male, I'd send you to prison, but instead here's a little probation  (mysanantonio.com) (168)
(The Smoking Gun) Asinine Apparently unable to acquire pepper spray, moms dressed in combat boots and military fatigues spray Lysol on dirty dancing teens at prom  (thesmokinggun.com) (85)
(apan Today) Obvious Okinawa celebrates 40 years of independence from America, where independence is apparently defined as having one gigantic U.S. air base on your territory  (japantoday.com) (76)
(Some Guy) Interesting Don't you just hate it when the neighbors are all up in your business? Especially if you're a burglar and the neighbor is an off-duty cop  (dacula.patch.com) (7)
(Des Moines Register) Obvious It's not really Mother's Day until the whole family goes to jail after a bar fight  (desmoinesregister.com) (10)
(Gawker) Spiffy Just when you thought President Obama couldn't get any gayer  (gawker.com) (118)
(My San Antonio) Asinine Times sure have changed when an egg fight between neighbors ends up in the death of a high school superstar athlete  (mysanantonio.com) (17)
(Huffington Post) Sick From the Romero Institute, report finds that for-profit hospitals are pushing patients out too early. Chain restaurants nod in approval. Sick Tag is for how you left the hospital  (huffingtonpost.com) (63)
(Some Guy) Followup Remember those postal workers who were upset about having to deliver to nudists? Well, turns out they never saw anyone nude and were just retaliating over complaints about their inability to deliver mail correctly and in a timely fashion  (wtkr.com) (33)
(My Fox DC) Interesting "I predict in the year 2020, New York and other enlightened states will decriminalize the world's oldest profession, namely prostitution. And I'd like to give a shout-out to Billy Ray Cyrus"  (myfoxdc.com) (37)
(Fark) FarkBlog First appearance of the Judean People's Front, high school students succumb to pier pressure, and Oden keeps his alcohol problems loki: some of Fark's favorite Headlines of the Week for 5/6 - 5/12  (fark.com) (7)
(Denver Channel) Amusing Study says 1 In 3 sleepwalk. Does that include dazed walking to the kitchen for coffee in the morning?  (thedenverchannel.com) (45)
(ABC2News Baltimore) Dumbass Haha, that was an awesome prank, buddy. You totally showed me. I'll call 911 now so that we can get you to the hospital and dig that bullet out of your chest  (abc2news.com) (78)
(Rachel Held Evans.com) Interesting News: when asked for one word to primarily describe Christianity, 91% of young non-Christians answer "antihomosexual." Fark: so do 80% of Christians  (rachelheldevans.com) (457)
(640 WHLO) Dumbass Cops find gun and naked Barbie dolls inside creeper's car  (640whlo.com) (34)
(Sun Sentinel) Florida Road rage showdown: Stun gun v. baseball bat  (weblogs.sun-sentinel.com) (40)
(Fark) FarkBlog Headlines Of The Week for Sun 2012-04-29 to Sat 2012-05-05  (fark.com) (3)
(Fox News) Asinine Henry Kissinger subjected to "the full Monty" of groping while at TSA checkpoint at LaGuardia airport. In other news, Henry Kissinger still alive  (foxnews.com) (77)
(Some Guy) Dumbass Fark-ready headline: "Labor board says Boner retaliated against pair" Bonus: Boss says he wouldn't have sexually harassed fired workers because they weren't "young and pretty" enough  (dnj.com) (23)
(Yahoo) Dumbass "Hey Shawn, can you do me a favor?"  (news.yahoo.com) (24)
(Short List) Amusing Fark ready headline: Australian shooter Russell Mark to wear mankini at opening ceremony of London Olympics as bet backfires  (shortlist.com) (16)
(azfamily.com) PSA When selling your computer, you might think you've wiped out all your personal data from the computer's hard drive. But did you remember to do the same thing to your printer?  (azfamily.com) (55)
(NBCMiami) Followup How you like that? Miami fire captain demoted for disparaging Facebook post about Trayvon Martin  (nbcmiami.com) (141)
(Biz Journals) Asinine Not only does Arizona now allow bosses to veto your birth control, the state also agrees that you owe debt collectors whatever they wish  (bizjournals.com) (147)
(Guardian) Followup Greece chooses to continue not collecting taxes, rather than pay their debts. Germany seen preparing das boot  (guardian.co.uk) (119)
(Fark) Photoshop Theme: Awful tribute bands  (fark.com) (20)
(The Sun) Sad Ninety laxatives a day ruined my body -- along with my underwear, my sheets, my rugs, my carpool van  (thesun.co.uk) (94)
(BusinessWeek) Fail Retail sales PROBABLY slowed. Maybe. Perhaps. Fark it, we don't know, we fired the guy who ran those numbers  (businessweek.com) (10)
(NBCNewYork) Hero First a NYC janitor graduates from Columbia. Now a NYC janitor saves a kid from a would-be kidnapper. Is there anything a janitor can't do?  (nbcnewyork.com) (53)
(Some Guy) Obvious Actual headline: "Vatican mystery intensifies: Bones found in grave." Oh, sure, it may seem obvious to everyone here on Fark, but Dan Brown will be laughing all the way to the bank  (staradvertiser.com) (24)
(Gizmodo) Hero Newspaper editor rips off local blogger post and reprints it verbatim. Blogger takes camera to newspaper and confronts the editor and gets $500 for violating his copyright  (gizmodo.com) (90)
(KOTV) Fail Protip: If you're going to be bounty hunters, make sure that A: You have the right address, and B: You and your buddy don't already have outstanding warrants on your own heads  (newson6.com) (39)
(Some Guy) Scary Enough is enough. I have had it with these motherfarking snakes in this motherfarking Walmart  (standard.net) (51)
(CBS News) Interesting New Jersey douchebag community is seeing orange over underage tanning ban  (cbsnews.com) (46)
(The Sun) Stupid Nanny state sends police to a toddler's birthday party because. A) Parents got in a fight. B) Pedophile was present. C) Mom tried to light the candles  (thesun.co.uk) (49)
(Some Guy) Amusing LOL, school makes students sign pledge to not write acronyms in their yearbooks. OMG, TSNF  (wsbtv.com) (86)
(LA Times) Interesting According to some guy's book, the Zodiac Killer is a 91-year-old dude still living in Northern California  (latimesblogs.latimes.com) (96)
(AP) Sappy Man cares for Maine's largest elm tree since 1956, until it died 2 years ago. When his "turn came" at 103, he's buried in a casket made from its wood  (hosted.ap.org) (73)
(CBC) Sick When a company has a monopoly they can raise power rates for the 7th time in 11 years and then throw a lavish party the next day  (cbc.ca) (97)
(Some Guy) Scary Fruit truck bursts into flames. IT'S AN EXPLOSION OF FLAVOR  (blog.ctnews.com) (43)

Mon May 14, 2012
(Sports Pickle) Asinine Youth football coaches complain that anti-bullying campaigns are leaving them without linemen. Don't worry, guys. It gets better  (sportspickle.com) (83)
(The Sun) Spiffy Eighteen-year-old hottie makes incredible recovery from brain tumor operation which left her unable to walk, talk or eat. She's now studying to be a teacher, presumably to have sex with her students (w/pics)  (thesun.co.uk) (85)
(SFGate) Obvious If you think baby names are getting stupider than ever, you can thank reality TV and religion  (sfgate.com) (263)
(Orlando Sentinel) Florida If you recently stole $500k worth of discarded medical equipment from outside a pathology lab in Orlando, police would like to have a word with you about the flesh eating virus you're now contaminated with  (articles.orlandosentinel.com) (75)
(Spaceflight Now) Cool NASA astronaut Joe Acaba and two cosmonauts are launching tonight to the ISS at 11:01 p.m. EDT from the Baikonur Cosmodrome in Kazakhstan; follow countdown progress with live video here  (spaceflightnow.com) (128)
(Stuff.co.nz) Stupid For a second day one question is on the mind of New Zealanders: Should married women drink beer?  (stuff.co.nz) (75)
(Some Vessel) Photoshop Photoshop these vino veins  (stilsucht.de) (29)
(KHOU Houston) Weird Pocahontas the stripper wanted for murder, robbery, aiding and abetting John Smith  (khou.com) (68)
(Salon) Followup Newsweek: Obama is our first gay president. Salon: Not so fast there  (salon.com) (198)
(Fark) Stupid What do you think your favorite characters of ongoing TV shows would post on Facebook or Twitter?  (fark.com) (150)
(The New York Times) Obvious Finally, with student debt topping $1 trillion, college presidents are waking up and recognizing that they might have to handle education costs through methods other than tuition increases. Maybe think about following a budget and things  (nytimes.com) (405)
(TMZ) Hero Playboy to Tanning Mom: "How about no?"  (tmz.com) (185)
(Some Guy) Followup The highway in Atlanta that opened up the emergency lane to traffic today? Yeah, that went well. "Just one more lane for people to drive stupid in." "It increased the commute by 25 minutes." Bonus: Giant arrested  (wsbtv.com) (125)
(Topeka Capital-Journal) Hero Young boy stages simple but effective counter-protest against Westboro Baptist Church  (cjonline.com) (237)
(SLTrib) Dumbass Is this your homework, Larry? Is this your homework? You're entering a world of pain, son. You're killing your father, Larry. You might want to look out that window  (sltrib.com) (53)
(Talking Points Memo) Spiffy Is that a gun in your pocket or are you just... oh, that is just a gun in your pocket   (tpmmuckraker.talkingpointsmemo.com) (90)
(Yahoo) Photoshop NASA is soliciting space station experiments. Photoshop a proposal (LGTA)  (news.yahoo.com) (18)
(Buffalo News) Stupid State of New York belatedly realizes it might not have been a great idea to let wife-killer decide where her ashes would be scattered  (buffalonews.com) (29)
(Some Guy) Spiffy The best llama haircuts you will see all day. Bonus: one looks suspiciously like David Spade  (thestar.blogs.com) (67)
(foodiggity.com) Interesting The Good, the Bad, and the Mummy: How the General Mills cereal monsters succeeded and failed  (foodiggity.com) (87)
(MequonNow) Amusing "Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, do these sound like the actions of a man who's had ALL he could eat?"  (mequonnow.com) (106)
(Jacksonville.com) Scary I guess smoking is bad for you in more way than you thought with mugshot goodness  (jacksonville.com) (19)
(Yahoo) Scary Time-travelling plane crashed in prehistoric Canada. It's a good thing they brought their own weapons  (news.yahoo.com) (46)
(Huffington Post) Obvious Obama on hot mic: "I've gotta get my sh"  (huffingtonpost.com) (364)
(Reuters) Weird "China 'instant buildings' - Just add labour, fireworks and a cow" Gary Larson approves  (uk.reuters.com) (32)
(BBC) Amusing My name is Scotland. And I'm an alcoholic  (bbc.co.uk) (53)
(Economist) Cool Facebook's IPO is so big, it will balance California's budget  (economist.com) (100)
(CBC) Sick Fourteen year old girls posing topless on webcam, brought to you by Rogers, Bank of Montreal, Tim Hortons, and Home Depot  (cbc.ca) (193)
(The Sun) Scary And this, kids, is why you should stay away from plastic surgery. Caution: Possible keyboard ruining pictures (warning: some sidebar ads may be NSFW)  (thesun.co.uk) (34)
(The Daily Beast) Obvious Why are an increasing number of women robbing banks? Because that's where the money is  (thedailybeast.com) (31)
(RamblingBeachCat.com) Strange Creepy: Finding two dead bodies while you're flying a kite. Really Creepy: They are wearing raincoats, lead masks, and carrying a note about taking pills and waiting for something to happen  (ramblingbeachcat.com) (111)
(Some Guy) Asinine New pro-vegan children's book teaches that eating meat will destroy the Earth and everyone we love. Naturally, some experts have a problem with this  (kripalu.org) (377)
(Washington Post) Hero "JP Morgan more or less invented risk management. If they can't do it, no bank can. And no sensible regulator can ever trust the banks to self-regulate." Sure, now you tell us  (washingtonpost.com) (158)
(Daily Mail) Interesting New book on the CIA and their techniques. Bonus: Best Koreans will betray their country for a copy of Hustler  (dailymail.co.uk) (53)
(Daily Mail) Amusing "Man's best friend" can also be "World's best photobomber" (with pics)  (dailymail.co.uk) (90)
(Short List) Dumbass Bad news: you've forgotten to log out of Facebook at an internet café. The worst news: you've also just robbed the place  (shortlist.com) (17)
(Washington Post) Obvious "Answer me: Who taught you how to text while driving?" "FROM YOU, ALRIGHT? I learned it by watching you"  (washingtonpost.com) (47)
(NJ.com) Strange NJ bank robbed by Death in sweatpants  (nj.com) (35)
(Miami Herald) Florida Armed robbers tell tow truck driver "Your money or your wife." Hubby won't be getting any sugar for the next fifty years  (miamiherald.com) (32)
(News.com.au) Obvious The 26-year-old ex-fiancée of Hugh Hefner offers advice on how to bag a rich older man  (news.com.au) (81)
(SLTrib) Fail "I kissed her breasts and nipples, as there was no place for my face to go." Why Salt Lake City vice unit had to be disbanded  (sltrib.com) (79)
(The New York Times) Obvious What surprising about Wall Street being run by greedy psychopaths is that anyone is surprised by it  (nytimes.com) (82)
(NBCDFW) Followup Hundreds memorialize slain, rare white buffalo  (nbcdfw.com) (164)
(Huffington Post) Scary Buffalo rampages through house, streets and kindergarten. Still can't win Super Bowl  (huffingtonpost.com) (34)
(Slate) Obvious Can a state force anti-psychotic medication on a death row inmate so they can execute him? Only in Texas  (slate.com) (121)
(WRCB-TV) Fail Atlanta traffic engineers come up with novel way to alleviate road congestion: open up the emergency lanes for regular drivers. What could possibly go wrong?  (wrcbtv.com) (90)
(NYPost) Fail "After the media went ballistic on me, I received an e-mail offering me money not to preach at all until the November presidential election."; Wright said, "Barack wanted to meet me in secret, in a secure place"  (nypost.com) (143)
(Mother Nature Network) Asinine Seven ridiculously expensive cat and dog breeds. Subby's rescued shelter cat sprays her ammonic mist of disgust all over them all  (mnn.com) (239)
(Bloomberg) Asinine March 2012: Oil rises on Greek debt fears. May 2012: Oil falls on Greek debt fears  (bloomberg.com) (63)
(Washington Post) Amusing With Iran struggling to turn a profit on their oil exports thanks to sanctions, Saudi Arabia decides now is a great time to start a price war on oil  (washingtonpost.com) (27)
(MSN) Photoshop Photoshop this yawning Yahweh wannabe  (msnbcmedia.msn.com) (19)
(Herald-Leader) Sad Lesbian schoolgirl couple denied admission to prom at Catholic high school, with pics  (kentucky.com) (660)
(PCWorld) Scary Facebook to become even more creepy, but it's okay because they'll be giving your data to people who want to stalk you for your own good. With pic of what Zuck might look like if he were receiving oral pleasure from the technology press  (pcworld.com) (71)
(The Daily Beast) Strange If you can't argue with Paul Krugman on economics, why not complain about how he doesn't like your opinion instead?  (thedailybeast.com) (263)
(Yahoo) Followup Kony-Kony-Kony-Kony Kommander Kaptured  (news.yahoo.com) (54)
(MSNBC) Interesting Study suggests that if you identify with a fictional character, you may become more like them. However, it doesn't seem to work for all those people who read about Jesus  (bodyodd.msnbc.msn.com) (194)
(BBC) Silly "For any passengers who've not visited London before, do please prepare yourselves for the capital's overwhelmingly calm and relaxing pace of life"  (bbc.co.uk) (24)
(Movies.com) Followup George Lucas is altering the deal. Pray he does not alter it any further  (movies.com) (273)
(SacBee) Sick Forty-nine headless and handless bodies found along Mexican highway. Seriously did they have a flatbed to dump all those bodies? How did nobody see this happen?  (sacbee.com) (223)
(Yahoo) Spiffy Vintage camera sells at auction for $2.8 million  (news.yahoo.com) (51)
(Gizmodo) Interesting Kodak bankruptcy goodies: Kodak name, a plethora of patents, weapons grade nuclear reactor hidden in basement in NY  (gizmodo.com) (123)
(KABB) Fail 2008: City installs beautiful fountain in middle of roundabout. 2012: City finally decides to remove eyesore of a fountain from middle of roundabout due to it being hit by cars 26 times in 3 1/2 years  (foxsanantonio.com) (92)
(MSNBC) Weird Japan will have no kids under age 15 by 3011. EVERYBODY PANIC  (worldnews.msnbc.msn.com) (82)
(Daily Mail) Scary Recipe for disaster: Start digging underground parking lot AFTER you've finished constructing an apartment building and people have moved in (w/photos)  (dailymail.co.uk) (63)

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